As part of the Measure of Success Blog Tour, I am excited to be writing alongside hundreds of other inspiring authors about what success looks like.
Can a woman be feminine, godly, and ambitious?
Moms often struggle with measuring our success.
Whether we work outside the home, are WAHMs, or SAHMs, we struggle with balancing our responsibilities and feeling appreciated or satisfied with our accomplishments.
How do you measure whether or not your work is “successful”?
Do you rely on outsiders to tell you that you’re successful? Do you ever feel successful? Do you need numbers or statistics to measure your success?
As a blogger, I often look at my analytics or social media reach to measure “my success” with readers. But I really should follow God’s lead when I write instead of all the hoops I feel I must jump through or the SEO checklists recommended by all the experts.
As a mom, my measure of success is when my kids are agreeable, showing the fruit of the Spirit, growing academically and relationally, and exhibit the joy of the Lord.
As a wife, I measure my success by whether my husband is pleased and satisfied and cheerful. He’s pretty easy-going so sometimes I have to just ask if everything is going smoothly enough with the housework and kids and life in general. I have learned that assumptions are never right.
Can a woman stay home with her kids and utilize the giftedness toward productivity that God has given her?
I once asked a famous Christian homeschool mom speaker and mentor to many if she ever reached that point…? She didn’t even let me finish the question before she cut me off with a firm, “No!”
I beg to differ.
I have had moments, fleeting moments, when I feel the hand of God pat me on the shoulder like He’s saying, “Take notice. This is good. This is right. You’re doing a good job. Remember this moment.”
I define that as success.
Do you think it’s possible for women to “have it all”? In other words, can someone have a thriving career and a thriving home life? What do you think makes this possible or impossible?
I joke with my husband in the evenings when he gets home that I’ve had a two for three day or only a one for three day.
I only once have had a three for three day. It was a crazy good day and I was absolutely exhausted by mid-afternoon!
Something usually has to give.
I can have a great blogging day, writing and social media-ing productively.
I can have a great housewife day, completing laundry, organizing, doing dishes, vacuuming, preparing delicious and nutritious meals and having dinner ready on time, baking bread, sweeping and mopping floors, wiping bathrooms, scrubbing toilets.
I can have a great homeschool mom day, reading aloud history biographies with my snuggly babies, patiently explaining math concepts, doing science experiments, admiring backyard birds and encouraging drawings of them for nature study, teaching Latin and grammar, listening to classical music with tea in the afternoons, and being intentional and available and cheerful all day long.
As far as “thriving,” I do think it’s possible to thrive. With support from my husband and children, I often feel I thrive at my business and with duties at home. My bad days are fewer and fewer as my kids grow and help both at home and with the business duties. Seeking God’s guidance with decisions and direction for every aspect is important.
What do you think has shaped your sense of success? What do you think has driven your choices about work?
My idea of success now is different than it was in the beginning, or even last year. As I grow in my faith and mature in my Christian walk, I find that I need less and less human approval and it’s easier to work with integrity. It’s easier for me to accept my husband’s lead and advice when it comes to my blogging and our essential oils business. We pray about decisions regarding our business, homeschool, and personal choices. As uncomfortable as my husband is praying aloud, I have learned to sit silently and be thankful for prayer time since it draws us closer to each and to God. Seeking God to teach us and lead us with decisions takes a lot of pressure off and helps me be calmer with difficult choices.
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Carolyn McCulley wrote The Measure of Success about women, work, and the home.
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1. How do you measure whether or not your work is “successful”?
2. Can a woman stay home with her kids and utilize the giftedness toward productivity that God has given her?
3. Do you think it’s possible for women to “have it all”? In other words, can someone have a thriving career and a thriving home life? What do you think makes this possible or impossible?
4. What do you think has shaped your sense of success? What do you think has driven your choices about work?
Question #2
Yes, a woman can stay at home with her children AND utilize the giftedness that God has given her. I believe that God has instilled into every woman the ability to stay at home or work away from home and be successful with housework, mommy duties, and even a personal ministry or business. Is it easy? Absolutely not!! Are there days when we are not so successful? Yes!! It’s when we find our purpose in Christ and do everything unto Him that true success begins to be found. For me, my most productive moments happen when I set myself aside and remember my purpose in Christ as a mom, wife, friend, minster, etc. I’m able to get through the lists of things to do that come with being a wife and mom a lot easier. And if I’m not able to finish all that I’d like to accomplish in the day, there is still peace because I know that what I have accomplished was for Him and not for myself, for His purpose, not my own.
1. How do you measure whether or not your work is “successful”? By whether my kids and family are thriving while I do it.
2. Can a woman stay home with her kids and utilize the giftedness toward productivity that God has given her?
Yes for sure as long as she keeps the things that only she can do at the forefront, being a wife and mother to her family.
3. Do you think it’s possible for women to “have it all”? In other words, can someone have a thriving career and a thriving home life? What do you think makes this possible or impossible?
It can be possible but that all depends on their definition of thriving. You can have a successful home business and a great home life but it will take balance and the successful home business won’t most likely be as successful as if you were just doing it. You have to be willing to change what successful looks like to match up with God’s definition.
4. What do you think has shaped your sense of success? What do you think has driven your choices about work?
It has taken me a long time to realize that success is doing what God has called me to, not what the world sees as successful. The Bible as influenced all of those choices.
#3 – Definitely! Most important to thrive is following God’s will. If He is directing your steps, how can you not do well. It’s when we take on more than is His plan, or are not satisfied with what we are doing that we get out of balance (and drop something somewhere). Also, i four family is not supportive you’re not going to thrive. With the right leading and support, absolutely!
#4 – What do you think has shaped your sense of success? What do you think has driven your choices about work?
My view of success has definitely changed over the years. As a child I viewed my mother as a very successful woman, even though she didn’t work outside the home. As I got older, I started listening to the world rather than God for answers. I thought I had to work in a high stakes career (even though I never wanted one), have a gorgeous husband (which I do) and have the perfect children (which I don’t). Then and only then would I truly be successful. I lived that way for a couple years, but I was completely miserable!! I have stopped perusing Pinterest and looking to the world for confirmation of my good deeds. I now base everything I do on God’s call on my life. That may change from time to time and I need to be willing to listen. Right now, I am called to be a preacher’s wife and mom.
I believe a sahm can utilize all that God has gifted her with in many ways..in he rhome life, church, ministry to others. Our talents are not limited to one place or location.