Jennifer Lambert

A Sacred Balance

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Going Home for the Last Time

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I got the call that no one wants to get on the afternoon of December 12, 2024.

A police officer called me at home to inform me my mother had a stroke and my father was confused and frantic with worry.

I tried to get all the necessary information from the policeman and my dad.

Emory University Hospital had called for a well check when they couldn’t reach my father by phone to get approval for an MRI.

My father said my mom fell and hit her head really bad while they were at a cabin in the mountains to look at flowers. In December. He said he took her to the nearest hospital and that she had been transferred. He claimed she was having surgery. This all sounded so odd to me. Why were my elderly parents in the mountains on a vacation so near Christmas and they told no one they were traveling and probably shouldn’t be driving at all?

I knew it was time.

My adult daughter and I drove from Dayton, Ohio, to Atlanta, Georgia. we didn’t know what we were walking into. We brought funeral clothes. We were terrified.

My father was given written directions to Emory University Hospital by the policeman. He also practiced calling me on my mom’s cell phone. I didn’t know what else to do. He wouldn’t use Uber or a taxi or wait for me. The policeman seemed confident that all was well.

What happened after that is stranger than fiction.

It was not well at all.

My dad never made it to Emory. He got very lost. I was trapped in a nightmare, trying to get to Georgia as soon as we could. It took three hours for my husband to coach him back home with multiple hang-ups and call drops. The traffic was “horrendous” and my father was confused and upset. I’m not sure how he managed to get home by himself the previous night.

My daughter and I arrived at my parents’ house late, after 10 PM. We didn’t know what to expect. Would the house be dark and locked? Was my father safe, asleep, or awake? Did he remember we were coming? Would he pull my grandpa’s .38 on me, thinking we were intruders? The policeman told him to put a key for me under the front door mat, but it wasn’t there.

Luckily, the lights were on, the garage door was up, and my dad was just sitting in his chair, watching TV.

He was so visibly relieved to see me and my daughter. I think he knew he was safe and we would take care of him and take him to visit his wife the next day.

We found three messages on the answering machine from my mother over the last two days and two messages from a nurse. He missed all those calls because he had been driving around, lost in Atlanta, the suburbs, almost to the South Carolina border, confused and worried – for two afternoons.

We asked for clarification for what had happened with my mother.

He told us they were sitting in their chairs, watching TV, when she started breathing strangely and looking oddly and wouldn’t answer him. He thought she was just snoozing, but “after four hours, he called 911.” He tried to follow the ambulance to the local ER, but got lost. He doesn’t know how he got home. Then he got lost trying to go to Emory in Atlanta, then lost again getting back home.

We all went to bed and got up the next morning. I called the nurse who had left a message and we spoke to my mother. Everyone was so relieved. I drove us all to visit my mother. Traffic in Atlanta is always stressful, but my father claimed it was “horrendous traffic” if he saw two cars nearby on the road.

My mother didn’t even understand the timeline, had thought she had been in the hospital for weeks.

My mother was very concerned about their monthly bills. She had never set up any payments for autopay, but did every little thing each month on her schedule. I logged into all her accounts and set up autopay. They had always complained they were on a fixed income, never had any money. Their idea of “having no money” is certainly very far from my idea of living paycheck to paycheck my entire adult life.

Physically, my mother is doing amazing. She hardly has any stroke symptoms. After several tests, she was cleared medically.

My mother’s hospital doctor refused to release her to come home unless I had a plan in place for her care. I was told they both should be in assisted living ASAP.

My parents refused and had sworn for years that they would never move out of their house. This humongous house was never my home. They sold the home I remember when I got married and moved away from Georgia. I have no memories of anything meaningful.

My daughter decided to stay to care for my parents. Everyone seemed excited about the plan. We thought maybe finally we could develop a relationship, forgive, and make some nice memories.

I made regular doctor appointments for Friday for both my parents. It was good I got a medical record update.

I learned my father had a memory change diagnosis in 2022. So, I think it was more like 2018 that he started showing symptoms, and I think it’s been bad for both of them since then and they never told me.

I didn’t realize the confusion for both my parents was so far gone. The stroke most likely exacerbated my mother’s mental condition. My father seemed to lose more and more of himself each day, like he didn’t have to hold back anymore.

It was like it went from zero to sixty in three days. They fed off each other and turned into the horrors I remember from a teenager. They were mean and nasty and name-calling and abusive. They screamed at me and threatened me and my daughter.

We didn’t realize how much care they both needed.

I knew I had to take over for my parents’ safety and well-being. I had assumed we could transition them into assisted living over the next year. We soon realized that was impossible.

Of course it got worse.

Because after my father called the police six times in five days, accusing me of all sorts of horrible misdeeds, I had to prove over and over that in spite of having virtually no relationship nor communication with my parents, they had indeed granted me control of their lives for this very instance that these events called for.

Thankfully, I found the binders in the office closet with copies of their wills, living trusts, POAs. My husband and I were joint POA, having been granted this privilege twenty years ago. I had been on their banking accounts for at least two decades.

I very quickly learned that no one would help me. The medical professionals kept informing me I needed neurology referrals. The police informed me they couldn’t do anything for me, my daughter, my husband, my parents unless there was an active murder or suicide taking place. The mental health hotlines couldn’t do anything other than talk to me with very condescending conversation or vet emergency services calls.

It was all so frustrating.

My daughter went back to Ohio and my husband joined me in Georgia.

They both were quite shocked to realize all the horror stories I have told them are all true. I am not just a spoiled only child who thought her parents were strict. My parents are abusive, emotionally immature, narcissistic and selfish.

I started keeping records of every little thing to build a case for assisted living. I didn’t realize how arduous a journey it would be to get them admitted.

I found and hid his guns and ammo in separate spots in the basement. It was sickening how much he had.

I hid all the car keys since it was obvious neither should drive anymore. I was told I needed a neurologist statement to take to DMV to make this official.

I barricaded the office and hid all their medicines so my father couldn’t pop Tylenol like candy.

My father could barely prepare toast or cereal or canned soup. He refused to eat anything I cooked.

She didn’t want to use her walker.

They both refused to bathe.

He started refusing to take his meds, claiming he didn’t know what I was giving him or why. He stopped sleeping and his eye got infected and I could tell he was feeling very bad.

I couldn’t convince my parents they needed more help than I could give them. They claimed they didn’t need any help. They just screamed I was stealing their cars and money. They didn’t want to see me. They wanted me to leave their house. I was trapped in two rooms and couldn’t leave them alone for their safety. My husband didn’t really understand or know what to do. No one was safe.

Two care homes refused to accept them since their dementia symptoms were too much. It took over thirteen days from home assessment to admission to the memory care facility.

Oh, and this entire ordeal happened over the Christmas and New Year holidays.

And no one works weekends either. My four kids spent the holidays alone. It was the longest I have ever been away from them. I was devastated. I was torn from having to do this for my own conscience even though my parents didn’t “deserve” my time or effort.

I had to do everything by phone and online. Their regular doctors refused to sign any paperwork. I had to contact the hospital doctor to sign for my mother. The facility had their contracted NP sign for my father. I had to get a mobile phlebotomist for TB tests and wait almost four days for those results. I had to sneak into their wallets for photos of their IDs and insurance cards.

I had to lie to get my parents in the car to drive them to the facility, telling them the doctor wanted to discuss their lab results. They were extremely anxious on the drive.

My father realized where we were after a few moments and started screaming at me so the nurse had to sneak me out a back door like I was Elvis.

I had to rush to pack up all their bedding and necessaries since I hadn’t been able to plan anything like a normal daughter with normal parents. It took multiple trips back and forth, thirty minutes one way.

My father refused to look at me. My mother turned on her charm for appearances, like always, but demanded items from home or for me to purchase. I told them I was driving back home, but I don’t know if they really understood.

They have enough income and savings and investments to pay for their own care in the memory care home for like fifty years. They have three medical insurances. But it’s frustrating for me to navigate all the bills for their care – the private memory care facility monthly fee, the prescription service monthly fee, the visiting nurse practitioner fees. And the recommended private home care aide for my father since he is still refusing to shower or eat.

We drove home to Ohio on 11 January. It was the first time seeing that Ohio sign on the river bridge that it felt like home to me.

It’s now been almost two months. My mother has called twice and I get texts from the director for my mother’s shopping list of snacks, drinks, underwear.

I am nothing but the keeper of funds now.

It’s both better and also worse than it ever was. I lost parents I never really had in the first place. There is no hope for reconciliation now. My kids never had grandparents.

This was the hardest thing I ever had to do, and it was made that much harder since my parents hate me.

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Best Books of 2024

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My Favorite Books I Read in 2024

I get a free eBook every month with Amazon Prime.

I love love love renting eBooks for Kindle or Libby from my local library.

I typically read about one book every week or two, sometimes more and sometimes less depending on my schedule.

I love historical fiction and scifi, but also I have been expanding into queer literature and memoirs and other genres. I still read school books with my kids too, even though they’re attending university now!

I didn’t realize that GoodReads has challenges, so I began that for the first time this year and it tracked my reading and gave me statistics.

I’ve read 77 books this year, but these stood out as my favorites.

The Covenant of Water by Abraham Verghese

Spanning the years 1900 to 1977, The Covenant of Water is set in Kerala, on South India’s Malabar Coast, and follows three generations of a family that suffers a peculiar affliction: in every generation, at least one person dies by drowning—and in Kerala, water is everywhere. At the turn of the century, a twelve-year-old girl from Kerala’s long-existing Christian community, grieving the death of her father, is sent by boat to her wedding, where she will meet her forty-year-old husband for the first time. From this unforgettable new beginning, the young girl—and future matriarch, known as Big Ammachi—will witness unthinkable changes over the span of her extraordinary life, full of joy and triumph as well as hardship and loss, her faith and love the only constants.

I loved his first book Cutting for Stone and this book is also wonderful and I loved the epic family legend and how everyone handled the “curse.”

Station Eleven: A Novel by Emily St. John Mandel

It is fifteen years after a flu pandemic wiped out most of the world’s population. Kirsten is an actress with the Traveling Symphony, a small troupe moving over the gutted landscape, performing Shakespeare and music for scattered communities of survivors. But when they arrive in the outpost of St. Deborah by the Water, they encounter a violent prophet who digs graves for anyone who dares to leave. Spanning decades, moving back and forth in time, and vividly depicting life before and after the disaster brought everyone here, this suspenseful, elegiac novel is rife with beauty, telling a story about the relationships that sustain us.

I love dystopian fiction and yes, it’s probably overdone with the pandemic but this book is lovely. I didn’t want this book to end and I realize there’s a show based on it.

Herland by Charlotte Perkins Gilman

Herland, Gilman’s most famous novel, is a feminist utopian comedy in which three men stumble upon a society of women that has banished men. Also included in this Penguin Twentieth-Century Classics edition is a selection of Gilman’s poetry and other short fiction. Gilman scholar Denise D. Knight has written an enlightening Introduction that explores Gilman’s use of the utopian form, satire, and fantasy to provide a critique of women’s place in society and to propose creative solutions.

I enjoyed the psychology explored in this novel and can’t stop thinking about the events that took place. I just found out there is a trilogy.

The Boys from Brazil: A Novel by Ira Levin

Alive and hiding in South America, the fiendish Nazi Dr. Josef Mengele gathers a group of former colleagues for a horrifying project―the creation of the Fourth Reich. Barry Kohler, a young investigative journalist, gets wind of the project and informs famed Nazi hunter Ezra Lieberman, but before he can relay the evidence, Kohler is killed.

Thus Ira Levin opens one of the strangest and most masterful novels of his career. Why has Mengele marked a number of harmless aging men for murder? What is the hidden link that binds them? What interest can they possibly hold for their killers: six former SS men dispatched from South America by the most wanted Nazi still alive, the notorious “Angel of Death“? One man alone must answer these questions and stop the killings―Lieberman, himself aging and thought by some to be losing his grip on reality.

I’m a little obsessed with Ira Levin’s novels and I’ve read most of them. They are nontraditional horror and quite chilling to think about.

The Moonflowers: A Novel by Abigail Rose-Marie

Tig Costello has arrived in Darren, Kentucky, commissioned to paint a portrait honoring her grandfather Benjamin. His contributions to the rural Appalachian town and his unimpeachable war service have made him a local hero. But to Tig, he’s a relative stranger. To find out more about him, Tig wants to talk to the person who knew her grandfather best: Eloise Price, the woman who murdered him fifty years ago.

Still confined to a state institution, Eloise has a lifetime of stories to tell. She agrees to share them all―about herself, about Tig’s enigmatic grandmother, and about the other brave and desperate women who passed through Benjamin’s orbit. Most revealing of all is the truth about Whitmore Halls, the mansion on the hill that was home to triage, rescue, death, and one inevitable day that changed Eloise’s life forever.

As Tig begins to piece together the puzzle of her mysterious family tree, it sends her spiraling toward a confrontation with her own painful past―and a reconciliation with all its heartrending secrets.

I didn’t want to like this book and it was slow at times and the characters could’ve been more vibrant, but the story was great.

I’m working through another reading challenge this year and I plan to try to read at least 100 books!

What was your favorite book this year?

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How to Plan Burial and Funeral Services While Grieving

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Planning a funeral and burial service can be one of the most emotionally taxing experiences, especially while grieving the loss of a loved one. In Virginia, the process may seem overwhelming, but knowing your options and creating a plan can help honor your loved one while navigating the emotional complexities of grief. This article provides an overview of burial and funeral services in Virginia and practical tips to plan during such a challenging time. 

Understanding Burial and Funeral Services in Virginia

 Virginia offers a range of burial and funeral service options to suit various cultural, religious, and personal preferences. Services can be as traditional or personal as you would like, allowing families to pay their respects meaningfully. 

Burial Options

Traditional Burial:

Traditional burial services often include a casket, a graveside ceremony, and an interment in a cemetery. Virginia has many cemeteries, including public, private, and veteran cemeteries like the Virginia Veterans Cemetery in Amelia. Families may choose between single or family plots.

Green Burial:

For those seeking an eco-friendly option, Virginia allows green burials in designated natural burial grounds. This option foregoes embalming fluids, metal caskets, and concrete vaults, preserving the environment.

Cremation Burial:

Cremated remains can be buried in a cemetery plot or a columbarium. Many families choose this option because it is flexible and lower-cost.

Funeral Services

Traditional Funeral Services:

These typically include a viewing or visitation, a formal ceremony, and a graveside service. Religious or cultural practices can be incorporated to reflect the deceased’s beliefs.

Memorial Services:

Memorial services are held after the burial or cremation and can occur at various locations, including homes, places of worship, or outdoor venues.

Celebration of Life:

This service takes a more personalized approach and highlights the deceased’s life and achievements, often with storytelling, music, and unique rituals.

Planning While Grieving: Practical Steps

Grieving a loved one can cloud decision-making, making funeral planning especially challenging. These steps can help guide the process.

Seek Support

Grief can be isolating, but you don’t have to plan alone. Rely on family members, friends, or clergy to share the responsibilities. Professional funeral directors in Virginia are also experienced in assisting families during difficult times and can help with logistical and emotional support.

Understand Legal Requirements

Virginia law has specific requirements for burials and cremations:

  • Death Certificate: Obtain a death certificate from the local health department, as it is needed for burial or cremation.
  • Permits: Cremation requires authorization from the medical examiner.
  • Burial on Private Property: Families may opt for burial on private property but must adhere to local zoning laws.

A funeral director can ensure these legalities are handled efficiently so you can focus on other arrangements.

Set a Budget

Funeral costs in Virginia can vary widely depending on the services and burial options chosen. On average, traditional funerals cost between $7,000 and $12,000, while cremation services are often less expensive. Determine your budget early and discuss costs with the funeral home to avoid unexpected expenses.

Choose the Right Funeral Home

Virginia has numerous reputable funeral homes offering comprehensive services. Look for a licensed provider with experience in accommodating your specific needs, whether a traditional ceremony or a culturally specific service.

Personalize the Service

Adding personal touches can make the service more meaningful. Consider including:

  • A photo slideshow or video montage.
  • Music that reflects the deceased’s personality.
  • Readings or eulogies from loved ones.
  • Special rituals, such as planting a tree in their honor.

Plan Ahead if Possible

If your loved one expressed specific wishes for their burial or funeral, incorporate those into the planning. Pre-planning services, offered by many funeral homes, can ease the burden on grieving families by documenting preferences in advance.

Coping with Grief While Planning

 Grief is a natural response to loss, but it can complicate the decision-making process. Here are ways to cope while managing funeral arrangements:

Acknowledge Your Feelings

Allow yourself to grieve. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed or seek moments of quiet reflection. Recognizing your emotions can prevent them from becoming too overwhelming.

Take Breaks

Planning a funeral can feel like an endless list of tasks. Take breaks to rest, hydrate, or spend time with loved ones. Small moments of self-care can recharge your energy.

Ask for Help

Delegate tasks to others. Family members or friends may be willing to handle tasks like selecting flowers, coordinating with the funeral home, or arranging transportation.

Seek Professional Grief Support

Consider speaking to a grief counselor or joining a support group. Virginia offers numerous resources, including local support groups, faith-based organizations, and online communities.

Final Thoughts

 Planning a burial or funeral service in Virginia while grieving is undoubtedly difficult, but it is also an opportunity to honor your loved one and find closure. Understanding the options available and taking practical steps can ease the burden. Remember, you are not alone—lean on family, friends, and professionals to help you navigate this journey with love and compassion.

Creating a meaningful farewell honors their life and begins the healing process.

 

 

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5 Things You Should Know Before Replacing Your Roof

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Replacing your roof is a large improvement project that impacts your home’s safety, aesthetics, and value. Whether you’re facing wear and tear from years of use or sudden damage from a storm, roof replacement is an investment you should approach with careful planning and knowledge. Explore comprehensive roofing solutions at https://www.grbroofing.com/ to keep your home safe and secure. Here are five critical things you should know before starting your roofing project.

Understand Your Roofing Options

 Roofing materials have progressed over the years, offering homeowners a variety of choices. Each material comes with its unique benefits, lifespan, and cost:

  • Asphalt Shingles: The most known and affordable choice, with a 20-30-year lifespan. They’re versatile and available in many colors and styles.
  • Metal Roofing: Durable and long-lasting, metal roofs can last 40-70 years. They’re also energy-efficient, but they have a higher upfront cost.
  • Slate or Tile Roofing: These premium options can last over 100 years but require a strong roof structure to support their weight.
  • Wood Shingles or Shakes: Known for their natural aesthetic, these roofs offer decent durability but require regular maintenance.

 Choosing the right material involves considering your budget, climate, and home style. Consult with your roofing contractor to select a material that balances these factors.

Timing and Weather Conditions Matter

 Roof replacement is a weather-dependent job. Ideally, your project should be scheduled during a season with minimal rainfall and mild temperatures. In most areas, spring and fall are ideal for roofing Leesburg projects. However, roofing companies are busiest during these periods, so plan to secure a spot in their schedule.

 Replacing your roof during harsh weather, such as freezing temperatures or heavy rains, can complicate the installation process and potentially compromise the quality of your new roof.

Budget Beyond the Roof Itself

 When budgeting for a roof replacement, consider more than just the cost of materials. Labor, permits, disposal of old roofing materials, and potential repairs to underlying structures add to the overall expense. Some additional costs to keep in mind include:

  • Removing the Old Roof: Some homes may need multiple layers of old roofing removed, which increases labor costs.
  • Structural Repairs: If the roof decking or support structure is damaged, repairs or reinforcements will be necessary.
  • Warranty Costs: Some roofing materials offer optional warranties for extended protection.

 Discuss these costs with your contractor beforehand to avoid unexpected financial surprises.

Hire a Reputable Roofing Contractor

 The quality of your roof replacement depends heavily on the contractor you choose. A professional, experienced contractor ensures the job is done correctly and efficiently. Here’s what to look for when hiring:

  • Licensing and Insurance: Make sure that the roofing contractor is licensed in your state and carries liability and workers’ compensation insurance.
  • References and Reviews: Check reviews and ask for references from customers to assess their reliability and quality of work.
  • Warranty Options: A reputable contractor should offer warranties on both materials and workmanship.
  • Detailed Estimate: Request a written estimate that outlines all costs, including labor, materials, and any potential additional charges.

 Avoid contractors who offer unusually low quotes, as they may cut corners or use subpar materials.

Plan for Disruption

 Replacing your roof is a noisy and disruptive process that can take several days to complete. Prepare yourself and your household for the temporary inconvenience by taking the following steps:

  • Inform Your Neighbors: Let your neighbors know about the project to avoid complaints about noise or debris.
  • Protect Your Belongings: Move outdoor furniture and cover plants near the house to shield them from falling debris. Inside, consider covering items in the attic to prevent dust accumulation.
  • Ensure Accessibility: Clear the driveway or pathways to provide easy access for contractors and their equipment.

 If the disruption will significantly impact your routine, you might consider staying elsewhere for the duration of the project.

Bonus Tip: Regular Maintenance Can Delay Replacement

 Regular maintenance is one of the best ways to extend the life of your roof and delay a full replacement. Schedule annual inspections to catch small issues like loose shingles or clogged gutters before they escalate into major problems. Proactive care can save you money and extend the lifespan of your roof.

Final Thoughts

 Replacing your roof is a large project that requires careful planning, budgeting, and decision-making. Understanding your roofing options, timing the project appropriately, budgeting wisely, hiring a reputable contractor, and preparing for disruptions can ensure a smooth and successful roof replacement process. Take the time to research and plan; your new roof will protect your home for years.

 

 

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How to Choose the Best HVAC Contractor for Your Home: A Comprehensive Guide

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Key Takeaways:

  • Understand the importance of hiring a qualified HVAC contractor to ensure efficiency and safety.
  • Learn how to evaluate potential contractors based on experience, licensing, and reputation.
  • Discover essential questions to ask during the vetting process.
  • Gain insights into cost considerations without compromising quality.
  • Explore resources to help compare and choose the right contractor for your HVAC needs.

Table of Contents:

  1. The Importance of Professional HVAC Services
  2. Finding Qualified Contractors
  3. Essential Questions to Ask Potential Contractors
  4. Evaluating Costs and Financing Options
  5. Tips for Comparing Contractors
  6. Making the Final Decision

The Importance of Professional HVAC Services

Choosing the right HVAC contractor is crucial for maintaining a comfortable and energy-efficient home environment. Whether you need a new installation or regular maintenance, finding an experienced HVAC contractor ensures the system runs efficiently and safely. Professional services significantly reduce the risk of malfunction and extend the lifespan of your equipment, offering long-term savings on energy bills.

Moreover, an expert contractor can provide valuable insights into energy-efficient systems and state-of-the-art technology to improve your home’s climate control. Prioritizing contractors with insurance and a license is crucial because these qualifications show a professional dedication to industry safety and quality standards.

Finding Qualified Contractors

Your first step in choosing the best HVAC contractor is to seek referrals and recommendations. Online reviews and testimonials often provide honest insights into a contractor’s performance and customer service. Visiting reputable sites can offer unbiased reviews and ratings. Check for credentials and accreditations like those from North American Technician Excellence (NATE) and BBB ratings. These certifications ensure that the contractor meets high standards in both skills and ethics.

Additionally, local home improvement stores often have a list of trusted professionals in your area. It’s advisable to verify if the contractor is located nearby, which can be advantageous for timely and efficient service delivery.

Essential Questions to Ask Potential Contractors

Before hiring, it’s critical to interact with potential contractors and ask questions to assess their expertise. Some questions to consider include:

  • How many years have you been in the HVAC business?
  • Can you provide references from past clients?
  • What types of HVAC systems do you specialize in?
  • Are you insured and bonded?
  • Do you offer maintenance services post-installation?

These questions can help gauge the contractor’s reliability, experience, and readiness to cater to your HVAC needs.

Evaluating Costs and Financing Options

Cost is a significant factor when selecting an HVAC contractor but shouldn’t be the sole consideration. Getting several estimates enables you to evaluate various price structures and the range of services provided. It’s essential to look for transparency in cost estimates and be wary of contractors who provide unusually low bids, which might compromise service quality.

Moreover, some contractors offer financing plans or recommend energy-efficient options that qualify for tax credits and rebates. These can alleviate upfront costs while encouraging the adoption of greener solutions for your home. Resources can provide more information on energy-saving and cost-effective HVAC solutions.

Tips for Comparing Contractors

Once you have a few potential contractors in mind, compare them based on experience, price, and customer service criteria. Because prompt reaction times are essential during system failures, consider the contractor’s scope of work and capacity for emergency repairs.

Evaluating the contractors’ innovative and technological use is also essential.

Contractors who stay updated with the latest HVAC advancements are better equipped to recommend modern solutions that enhance your system’s efficiency and sustainability.

Making the Final Decision

After evaluating all aspects, it’s time to make an informed decision. Choose a contractor who meets your technical qualifications and resonates with your expectations in terms of customer service and reliability. If possible, spend some time on post-contractual agreements like warranties and service terms, as these often provide a layer of assurance regarding future maintenance and repairs.

Ultimately, your chosen HVAC contractor should be a trusted partner invested in your home’s comfort and efficiency. Following the guide, you can confidently hire a professional to maintain your system optimally for years.

 

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The Permaculture Garden: The Art of Creating a Self-Sustaining and Eco-Friendly Oasis

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Key Takeaways:

  • An eco-friendly garden helps sustain the environment while providing a beautiful landscape.
  • Strategies like composting, rainwater harvesting, and native planting can significantly enhance garden sustainability.
  • Integrating biodiversity through pollinators creates a balanced ecosystem.
  • Understanding the impact of garden practices on local ecology is essential for sustainable gardening.

Intro to Eco-Friendly Gardens

Eco-friendly gardens are a fad and a substantial change toward sustainability in our daily lives. The idea is simple yet impactful: create a landscape that embodies beauty and contributes to preserving our environment. In light of growing environmental concerns, many homeowners are contacting professional landscape services for guidance on making their gardens more sustainable.

Often perceived as a tranquil retreat, the garden can become a powerful tool in combating climate change. Transforming your garden into an eco-friendly haven involves making informed, thoughtful choices about everything from the plants you select to how you manage water and waste resources. As more people recognize their gardens as extensions of the natural ecosystem, the movement toward sustainability continues to grow.

Why Choose Sustainable Gardening?

There are several strong arguments in favor of sustainable gardening. On an ecological level, these practices conserve precious resources like water and energy while supporting vital biodiversity. By reducing the reliance on synthetic chemicals, sustainable gardens foster a healthier environment for plants and animals. Economically, harvesting rainwater and planting native species can drastically reduce maintenance costs.

Sustainable gardens are also essential for raising people’s quality of life in urban areas. Research indicates that green spaces help mitigate the urban heat island effect, consequently decreasing cooling costs in the summer. Furthermore, they act as natural air purifiers, removing carbon dioxide and producing oxygen, which benefits us and our planet.

Composting: Nature’s Recycling

Composting is a natural recycling method that breaks down organic waste into fertile compost, which can be used as a natural garden fertilizer. This practice enriches soil, retains moisture, and helps suppress plant pests and diseases, reducing the need for synthetic alternatives. Composting contributes to methane emissions and enhances soil nutrient profile, resulting in healthier plants, reduced water usage, and less environmental impact. This approach can lead to thriving gardens and a cleaner environment, showcasing the benefits of household waste management.

Harnessing Rainwater

An ancient method that is becoming more popular among environmentally aware gardeners is rainwater gathering. Collecting rain runoff from roofs into barrels or cisterns can reduce dependence on municipal water systems and utilize a natural, chemical-free water source for irrigation.

This method is particularly valuable during water scarcity, as it promotes water conservation and reduces water bills. Additionally, since rainwater is naturally soft and free of minerals often found in treated water, it is gentle on plants, leading to better soil adjustment and growth conditions. By adopting rainwater harvesting, gardeners make a sustainable choice that benefits the ecosystem and their pockets.

Native Plantings Enhance Biodiversity

Including native species can significantly increase your garden’s ecological worth and sustainability. Compared to non-native species, native plants require less water and upkeep since they adapt to the local climate and soil conditions. They also support pollinators and local animals, including bees, butterflies, birds, and other beneficial insects.

By choosing native plants, you can create a more easily maintained garden and contribute positively to your local ecosystem.

Integrating Pollinators

Pollinators are the unseen architects of many garden spaces. They are essential for reproducing countless flowering and fruit-bearing plants. By nurturing these species through methods like planting a variety of blooms that provide nectar throughout the growing season and avoiding pesticide use, you invite them to your garden, enhancing its vitality and productivity.

Gardens designed with pollinators in mind support biodiversity and ensure a rich, diverse plant life that contributes to better crop yields and flowering success. This approach benefits small-scale backyard gardens and larger agricultural systems, underscoring the importance of creating habitats that support these vital creatures.

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The Art and Science of Epoxy Flooring: Styles, Benefits, and Application

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Key Takeaways

  • Epoxy flooring is a versatile, durable solution for residential and commercial spaces.
  • Understanding the process of applying epoxy flooring can significantly impact installation quality.
  • Maintaining epoxy floors is straightforward and prolongs their life span.

Introduction to Epoxy Flooring

Due to its remarkable durability and aesthetic adaptability, epoxy flooring has emerged as a preferred choice for many residential and industrial applications. More than just practical, epoxy is a design solution that can be as bold or subtle as desired, offering endless possibilities for customization.

It goes beyond mere functionality; epoxy’s capability to resist stains and chemicals makes it particularly valuable in spaces that demand cleanliness and durability, such as hospitals, car showrooms, and industrial kitchens. By choosing epoxy, one invests not just in a protective floor covering but also in enhancing the space’s aesthetic appeal, which can significantly add to a property’s overall ambiance and value.

Advantages of Epoxy Flooring

The key advantage of epoxy flooring is its incredible durability. This flooring can endure substantial wear and tear, making it an ideal solution in residential homes and commercial establishments for garages, warehouses, and other high-traffic areas. Whether you need flooring that can withstand the rough and tumble of kids and pets in a home or handle heavy machinery in a bustling factory, epoxy flooring delivers. Notably, its resistance to impacts means that heavy items such as tools or appliances are less likely to damage the surface when dropped. In addition, epoxy’s ability to fend off stains and water makes it a superb choice for moisture-prone areas like basements and bathrooms, where other flooring types may suffer from warping or water ingress.

Beyond these practical benefits, investing in epoxy flooring saves costs over time. When appropriately maintained, epoxy’s longevity means fewer replacements or repairs than other flooring options. Furthermore, its seamless, non-porous surface discourages mold and bacteria growth, adding a layer of health benefits for those keen to keep allergens at bay in their living or working environments.

Popular Epoxy Flooring Styles

One of the defining characteristics of epoxy flooring is the myriad of styles available, which allow it to be tailored to any aesthetic preference. For those looking to make a bold statement, metallic epoxy finishes create a swirling, lava-like effect that captures attention and adds a unique artistic element to any room. These coatings are visually striking and enhance light reflection, giving spaces a brighter, more open feel.

Meanwhile, more understated designs, such as solid-color epoxies, provide a consistent and sleek appearance that seamlessly integrates with modern minimalist décor trends. According to a report by Architectural Digest, these options are particularly favored in contemporary designs where the floor is intended to complement rather than dominate the visual narrative of a room. Ultimately, epoxy offers an impressive range of design flexibility, allowing any space, whether a residential garage or a corporate foyer, to express individuality and style.

Step-by-Step Application Process

Applying epoxy flooring is methodical, requiring attention to detail to achieve the best possible outcome. The initial step is preparation, which involves meticulously cleaning the substrate. All dirt, oils, and existing residues must be removed to ensure complete adhesion of the epoxy. Surface preparation may include etching or sanding the floor to create a better bonding surface.

Once prepared, a primer is applied to the floor surface to enhance adhesion further. This critical step helps the epoxy coating form a stable bond with the substrate, thus preventing peeling and ensuring a long-lasting finish. After the preparation and priming, the epoxy mixture—comprising resin and hardener—is thoroughly blended. This step requires precision, as improper mixing can lead to incomplete curing and weak spots on the finished floor.

Applying the epoxy coating involves pouring the mixture onto the floor and spreading it evenly with a roller or squeegee. This must be done swiftly yet carefully to avoid air pockets and achieve an even coat. Lastly, an optional step is to apply a topcoat, which adds another layer of durability and protection and enhances the floor’s gloss and appearance, ensuring that the space remains as striking as it is functional.

Maintenance Tips for Epoxy Floors

Maintaining epoxy flooring is generally straightforward, contributing to its appeal for those seeking low-maintenance living or working spaces. Regular sweeping and occasional mopping with a mild cleaner is required to keep the floors immaculate. Avoid using cleaning products with high acidity or rough scraping tools, as these can mar the floor’s surface over time.

To prevent scratches and preserve their appearance, deploying floor mats in high-traffic areas is advisable. These mats capture any dirt or debris that might be brought in from outside. Spills should also be cleaned promptly to maintain the pristine condition of the floor. With these simple measures, epoxy flooring can retain its showroom-like shine and durability year after year.

Choosing the Right Epoxy Flooring for Your Needs

Selecting the correct type of epoxy flooring starts with assessing specific needs and the environmental conditions of the space in which it will be applied. Where robustness is critical, industrial settings might require chemical-resistant epoxy flooring options to handle exposure to oils or acids. These variants are engineered to withstand intense conditions, making them suitable for factories or warehouses.

Conversely, residential installations might focus more on design and safety aspects, such as slip-resistant coatings in bathrooms or kitchens where moisture is frequent. Customizing the epoxy flooring selection based on specific criteria ensures the purchase is well-tailored, offering maximum functionality while adding to the overall beauty of the space.

Challenges in Epoxy Flooring Installation

Though epoxy flooring provides numerous benefits, its installation poses several unique challenges, primarily related to environmental factors such as humidity and temperature. These variables play a crucial role during the curing process. If not managed correctly, they can result in bubbles or an uneven finish, which could compromise the floor’s integrity.

According to experts featured in Floor Trends Magazine, understanding these factors is essential. Proper planning and conditioning of the environment before application can prevent these common issues, yielding a result that meets and exceeds expectations. By addressing these challenges adequately, one can ensure a long-lasting and visually appealing epoxy floor installation.

Conclusion: The Lasting Appeal of Epoxy Flooring

Incorporating epoxy flooring into your space can significantly elevate style and function, transforming environments into vibrant and durable areas. Whether undertaking a residential renovation or looking to heighten the professionalism of a commercial space, epoxy flooring offers a striking balance of durability and aesthetic enhancement. Its seamless design and broad spectrum of customizable options make it a top choice for modern flooring solutions.

The combination of its robustness and diverse design possibilities assures its status as a wise investment for any who wishes to upgrade and enhance their spaces. With epoxy, you ultimately choose a long-lasting quality and outstanding value that stands the test of time.

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Unplugging

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Maybe not enough years ago…I realized I don’t have to participate.

How many decisions about life, job, health, or children are we making out of peer or family pressure? We can model the change we want for ourselves and for our children to see.

There is no village and I don’t want to be a part of the mom society I see online and in our community.

The only point to therapy other than trauma processing is to learn how to acclimate to our sick society. I tried several times and it was always disappointing. I shouldn’t have to be medicated to succeed. Perhaps our society’s values should change?

I don’t have to view advertisements and I sure don’t have to purchase items or services. We are a capitalist consumer society but I don’t have to consume. It’s not a competition.

I don’t have to read blogs or articles or news reports. It’s getting harder to discern what is even real anymore.

I don’t have to care about having an aesthetic or brands or labels.

I don’t care about what’s popular or trendy. I didn’t care when I was seventeen, but I was ostracized and alienated so I tried to periodically fit in and then wondered why I got so depressed. I feel more myself now that I’ve given up on keeping up.

I can remove all expectations that society places on me as a woman and wife and mother.

I lurk in online groups for mothers and military spouses and homeschoolers. It is depressing how many questions there are in these anonymous settings about how to keep up with this rat race society instead of slowing down and being original or fighting oppression. I’ve had posts deleted that don’t align with their worldview the admins claimed were “unkind.” I feel like an anthropologist. They just crave confirmation bias. Don’t we all? But no one is fighting against abuse and control. OMG so many of these moms seem like they hate their kids.

I have snoozed every single company or profile in my FB feed wanting to laminate my brows, extend my lashes, inject or fill my face, remove my blemishes, blonde my hair, clean my house, detail my car, vacuum my air ducts, steam my carpet, clear my yard, pressure wash my driveway, or offering cottage baked goods. It’s excessive how many side hustles there are and I wonder how many are even legit companies and I see a lot of scam complaints. It’s sad that people have to do this to try to survive financially.

I deleted my Twitter with the new TOS about AI with no options. I really don’t utilize social media the way many of my peers, family members, or acquaintances do. I don’t post many pictures of my family or selfies. I don’t like bragging or fishing for engagement. I seldom crowdsource because I don’t need that kind of affirmation. I am only on Facebook to keep up with my cousins. I have 41 “friends” who consist of relatives by blood and marriage, my daughter’s roommates, past students, and ten actual IRL friends. I follow a few pages of organizations I like. I’m considering deleting Instagram, because it’s worthless since it’s just reels and screenshots. It seems that many parents don’t see the irony of using their smartphones, tablets, social media while ridiculing their kids and teens for the exact same thing. Many youths really don’t use social media the same way adults do and that’s fine. Forbidding it or limiting it or using it as a punishment tool will backfire.

I can decorate my house however I want to with no guilt or pressure from an aesthetic look or sad beige club. I don’t want my house to look like a dentist office. I like retro decor for memories and antique well-made items instead of the “fast fashion decor garbage.” I saw someone say they didn’t want dirty old things in their house and I feel sad for her in her sterile house. Why are all these dinner reels just empty kitchens with two utensils and four neutral dog dishes to feed her little Stepford family?

I don’t have to have the newest or latest technology. I reluctantly have one television in our basement and all the stupid streaming services. We have a Wii and Switch. Everyone in my little family has an iPad and smartphone. We have computers. I don’t see the need to upgrade every year.

I don’t shop in stores or online for entertainment. I actually hate shopping. But I’ve also never used a meal or grocery delivery or Doordash or the like. I like thrifting and antique malls.

I don’t do brunch. I’m not a morning person and I have absolutely no desire to wake up and get dressed and go out in public and deal with people while uncaffeinated. I don’t even eat out, except very, very rarely, and only at like two or three places. I have a well-stocked pantry, freezer, and bar so I cook breakfast and dinner every single day and I make my own drinks. My kids have packed lunches during their classes at a local university. I don’t think I know anyone who actually cooks real food. They’re too busy or it’s not worth the effort or some such excuse.

I think people get offended when we aren’t ashamed of things that they were taught to be ashamed of and they resent us for not caring what everybody thinks.

I don’t have to be a puppet of capitalism or whatever society says I should be or do.

I feel at peace being unplugged.

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Protection

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I do not need protection.

You were never there when I needed help.

My cries went unanswered.

I dried my own tears.

I’ve learned to rely only on myself.

What do you think you can protect me from?

Your words?

Your actions?

Your own failure?

I protect myself

from my fear

glancing for my exits

I stare into the darkness

with my keys splayed between my fingers

scanning the shadows

listening for foot shuffles

locking my doors

encrypting my financial information

updating my privacy on apps

changing my passwords

and still the memory

of your idea of protection

of the abuse

of the assault

haunts me in my nightmares.

My faith is shattered.

I don’t need your fucking protection.

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Affording Higher Education

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Many of us were fortunate to attend a college, university, trade school or something after high school and not incur massive amounts of student loan debt. My husband and I had very small low-interest student loans to cover costs for our last year and we luckily paid them off quickly.

I’m the first grandchild to attend college in my family. As far as I know, I’m the first girl to attend. Only my mom’s brother attended UGA for theatre. It’s not celebrated enough. My grandma was one of twelve and my mom had five siblings. College was never expected nor assumed. My parents didn’t give me an option.

My husband and his parents and sisters and one brother-in-law all have master’s degrees.

Having a student loan is problematic when the job outlook is poor and there is no job security in one of the 28 right-to-work states. Many loans are deferred while we’re still in school, but what happens if we rely on income to pay it off and that income just goes away?

We vowed to help our children with tuition and expenses and not have them saddled with loads of education debt to start their young adult lives.

We are extremely fortunate that our kids receive veteran aid from my husband’s military disability and he offered them each a portion of his GI Bill, but it is not something we could plan for nor expected.

Some History of Education Loans in the USA

In 1970, Roger Freeman, who also worked for Nixon, revealed the right’s motivation for coming decades of attacks on higher education. Reagan cut higher education funding and student aid, and college costs boomed as a result. Source: The Intercept

In 1972-1980, the Pell Grant was created and funded for low income students.

A revision to the Higher Education Act in 1992, resulted in a significant expansion of the federal unsubsidized student loan program and the creation of the FAFSA.

A Senate investigation during the Bush administration revealed widespread fraud and abuse in the predatory for-profit college industry.

In 2001, President George W. Bush eliminated the time limit for how long borrowers could deduct student loan interest from taxes. The limit on interest deduction was also raised to $2,500, where it still stands today.

In December 2007, the Great Recession hit. Federal and state governments made deep cuts to higher education funding.

The Public Service Loan Forgiveness Program (PSLFP) was signed into law in 2007, by President G.W. Bush and almost never delivered.

From the start of the Great Recession in 2008, to the relative economic stability of 2018, college costs and debt increased significantly, but state and federal funding for higher education, the biggest source of revenue for most schools, has not returned to pre-2008 levels.

Many nations offer free higher education opportunities to their citizens. A few states in the USA are offering some community college options. Why can’t we do more and be better?

We are saddened by the education failings in the USA and how it has changed for the worse over the past couple decades while being much more expensive.

It seems that the recent student loan forgiveness plans are in tatters and many will suffer to pay back student loans at high interest rates while salaries stagnate and rents are exorbitant. How are our kids expected to purchase homes, have children, travel, save for retirement, or any of the other milestones we and our parents or grandparents enjoyed?

Americans owe more than $1.74 trillion in student loan debt — a number that keeps rising as tuition costs continue to increase. More than 30% of student loan borrowers are in default, late, or have stopped making payments six years after graduation.

I’ve witnessed programs canceled and majors being deleted and professors striking for higher wages and tenure. It’s the bonfire of the humanities.

Many financial aid options require students to attend full time, which limits other options like working or volunteering. For my kids, full-time credits are twelve hours each semester.

How to Afford Higher Education

Pre-College Courses

Many states offer early college courses or admission for students as young as seventh grade. I was a freshman scholar as a high school senior in Georgia. When we moved to Ohio, my kids started at age 15/16 taking direct courses at our local university. The College Credit Plus is a great program and many students graduate high school with the equivalent of associate’s degrees.

Two of my kids took summer programs that earned them college credit. Many specialty schools, private, and state universities offer “camps” or summer sessions as pre-college tastes to recruit students.

Federal Aid

First, we have to fill out the FAFSA. It’s so different after last year. There is a parent section and student section and make sure to send the info to the correct higher institutions!

My husband received a small grant when he attended university. I’m pretty sure we will never qualify for our three younger kids, but if my eldest decides to attend, she might receive some funding as being no longer our dependent.

Scholarships

There are huge lists of scholarships on various websites and offerings for so many different interests and merit. I recently saw one I am keeping bookmarked about asparagus for my son!

As a military family, my kids received some assistance from some organizations on our base.

The university my kids attend have a universal scholarship application to be filled out annually. Within that application are departmental forms and many extracurricular options.

Of course, good grades and test scores are often offered merit scholarships.

There are many opportunities for sports and extracurricular activities if kids choose that route.

Investments

We have invested in 529 plans for each of our four children since they were babies.

We have used the funds for tuition, books, and computer purchases.

If the entirety is unused, it can be rolled over without tax penalties to another younger sibling or for graduate school or other education expenses.

Work Study

Many colleges offer student aid in the form of tuition assistance or stipends in exchange for working on campus. I designed a website for my master’s program for a small stipend back in 1998!

Jobs

My kids are planning ahead and have savings accounts from part-time jobs they worked while high school age. They plan to use these for travel, study abroad opportunities, or graduate school expenses.

ROTC and various military enlistments offer lots of benefits during and after serving.

Some employers offer scholarships or tuition assistance with a contract or promise of working for the company for a time.

While it is stressful to work full-time and attend college full-time, it is possible.

Vocational Schools

Not everyone desires to go to an academic university. There are so many opportunities at vocational institutions and community colleges that offer certificates or associate’s degrees. These are much more affordable options for students who want to enter the workforce more quickly than a traditional university degree.

Commuting

We are in a great geographical position that my kids can commute to a local university and we are also somewhat near some others if they need to transfer. I commuted to Clayton State and Georgia State and while that wasn’t my choice at the time, it did save on housing and food expenses. I am irritated by the poor condition of dorms and food choices that I see my kids’ peers suffering. I have told my kids they can live at home as long as they want or need to.

Other Fees

All the extras sure do add up!

The parking fee is outrageous, so we carpool as much as possible to the commuter college.

My kids applied early to waive the application fees.

We buy books used or even rent for courses that my kids aren’t interested in keeping the books.

We pack lunches, drinks, and snacks. I do buy a $50 commuter meal plan each semester for my kids for coffee or emergencies.

My kids are disappointed that so many of their peers are struggling financially – working and going to school and having no time to be young or carefree or socialize. I even often pack food for their friends during study time or exam weeks. My daughter said her friends act like middle-aged boring people who have no time or money for anything other than survival. This economy is taking its toll.

I understand that many families can’t financially support adult kids to attend a university. I am pleased that we are able to keep our promises to our kids so far.

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