I remember my mom getting a stack of books from the library when I was about 8 and setting me down at the formal dining room table with them. I don’t remember her reading them to me or even being in the room. I looked through them and that was my introduction to sex ed. I don’t remember asking a lot of questions or feeling comfortable discussing anything with my parents.
In 5th grade, all the girls were ushered into a dark classroom with a film strip projector that showed uncomfortable old videos about the mechanics and science of creating a baby. It was still all quite a mystery, whispered and giggled about, while we were mostly more worried about when we could wear makeup and who was “going” with who.
Another memory is when I was about 12 and reading one of my moms’ Redbook magazines. I wasn’t sure what the article was even really about, but I looked up and innocently asked my dad, “What’s an orgasm?” He hollered, red-faced: “What the hell are you reading?” so I slunk away in shame to look it up in the dictionary. It wasn’t helpful at all.
Middle school was filled with many physical and social changes and I felt lost, confused, and anxious.
High school was even worse with its peer pressures…and fears of being caught alone in a dark hallway after school or in a corner of the gym by bad boys. There was the underlying knowledge that it would be all my fault if anything happened.
As a teen and young adult, I was left only with the admonition not to get pregnant. Which leaves a lot of room for sin, guilt, fear, and relationship problems. I wasn’t given advice about how to handle the hard conversations or how to extricate myself from difficult situations.
Then I got pregnant while still in college and my parents commanded me to end it so it didn’t ruin my life. And I listened to them. Even though I knew in my heart it was the wrong decision.
How would my life be different if I’d had been raised with a knowledge of God and healthy sexuality?
We still live in an antiquated patriarchal society.
Times haven’t changed much with the “boys will be boys” attitudes.
Rape culture that permeates too many conversations hidden as jokes.
Girls are often still taught to dress modestly for the wrong reasons, so as not to incite lust in males.
We see too many rapes and sexual assaults in the news. How many aren’t reported?
I see these perverse perspectives of sexuality too often, even in the homeschool and Christian communities.
A leader in our church spoke out against abstinence in Sunday school the other day. He said the idea of monogamy and purity until marriage is an archaic idea, based on a different time and culture with old-fashioned expectations. He argued that no one should be expected to remain a virgin well into adulthood, while they work on their education and build a career. He said couples should know each other, to consider if they are compatible in all ways before a marriage commitment. And he has a teen daughter and younger daughter! I wonder what they teach their daughters about sex?
Two homeschool teens in our tiny community recently began a sexual relationship. It’s common knowledge within our group and the parents scoff that they can’t control them since they are “of age.” The acceptance of this and the parents’ excuses are disturbing to me. I’m more concerned that all my kids know about their relationship and I don’t know how to navigate explanations and questions.
It makes me feel sad and a little scared for my children to find spouses and have a healthy relationship after being in the Christian and/or homeschool community.
I raise my kids differently.
THE TALK should start very early.
We can’t wait to have The Talk until our kids’ bodies begin changing – when sex seems like it’s EVERYWHERE – quite blatant innuendos in kids’ TV shows and movies, porn popups and ads online, explicit images in magazines and billboards…and the often deviant and perverse ideas and conversations of peers and even role models.
Do we want our kids learning about sex from the media and their peers?
I should hope not.
So, we as parents need tools to teach our kids about sex the right way. We need biblical sex education.
Luke and Trisha Gilkerson have created Having The Talk Biblical Sex Ed Training for Parents Video Course.
I have read and taught their sex ed books The Talk
I have taught my children from a very early age about sex from a biblical perspective with these books, and now this video course makes this task so much easier!
.png)
What’s included in the Having The Talk video course?
In addition to the 8 video lessons and 3 bonus lessons, parents will also receive a digital download eBook of The Talk
How long will I be able to access the video course?
You’ll have one full year to access the course! You can download The Talk book
Get 3 FREE lessons to preview the course.
Course Topics:
Lesson 1: Too much too soon?
How to know when to begin talking to your kids about sex.
Lesson 2: Created Male and Female.
Talking to kids about the differences in male and female anatomy.
Lesson 3: Be Fruitful and Multiply.
How to communicate the function and purpose of sex with your kids.
Lesson 4: Celebrating Life.
A lesson on the beginning of human development.
Lesson 5: The Intimacy of Sex.
Communicating the importance of sex within a marital relationship.
Lesson 6: The Theft of Love.
How to talk to your kids about adultery and sexual sin.
Lesson 7: Sexual Abuse and Your Child.
Talking to kids about sexual abuse.
Lesson 8: Your Body Belongs to the Lord.
Communicating with your children the importance of honoring God with our bodies.
Bonus Lessons!
Bonus lessons covering how to talk to your children about homosexuality and masturbation in age-appropriate ways as well as a lesson on guarding your children from pornography.
Free Digital Copy of The Talk
Use this book with your child after going through the course.
.png)
.png)
I feel it’s so, so, SO important for us as Christian parents to begin very early to educate our children about sex in a healthy way. If we don’t step up and teach our kids, then the world will. Worldly sex information is more enticing, bolder, louder, and permeating almost every aspect of our everyday culture. We can counter the world’s lessons about sex by teaching it to our families.
If your kids are older, you can always re-teach these sex ed lessons, over and over again if you have to. It’s so important to keep an open conversation with your children. Pray for guidance and help from God to give you the right words, tone of voice, and attitude to teach your children well about being counter-cultural with sexuality, with no shame. It’s not the popular path and it can be very difficult.
I feel so blessed that my teen daughter and I can have the hard conversations. We discuss movies and books and articles we read online. We discuss real examples of her friends who have sexual relationships. I think that my personal history allows me to have the uncomfortable talks honestly and guide my kids away from sin I knew all too well.
Why you’ll love this video course:
- The videos aren’t just bland instructional how-tos about how to scientifically make a baby. Luke and Trisha discuss intimacy, adultery, and abuse. They address the all-too-common societal issues of divorce and children born out of wedlock with grace.
- 3 bonus videos on the very controversial topics of masturbation, pornography, and homosexuality, offering advice on how to discuss these concepts with our children using science, statistics, and the Bible.
- All sex ed topics are taught with grace, scientific knowledge, statistics, history, and biblical references.
I’m sorry you had such a lack of good info growing up. :( I vaguely remember my mother telling me the facts of life when I was young, and my thinking that it was all gross. ha. I agree that we need to talk to our kids at age-appropriate ages with the facts and godly principles. Thanks for sharing this resource. Sounds like it will be a great help to many families!
Thanks for the heads up on the video course. I purchased the book this Spring and plan on getting into it soon. Now, I’ll check out the video series.
This sounds like an excellent resource. Whatever tools a family chooses, “the talk” should be something that starts very young and invites open dialogue throughout a child’s growing up years.
Thank you for being so transparent about your history, and about God’s redemptive work in your life. What a powerful testimony! I was particularly disturbed by your church leader’s denigration of abstinence. By definition every single biblical principle is “archaic,” and for good reason! Our God is eternal, and the truths He has established are absolute and permanent. I will pray for this person, and for your church, because that’s very concerning. I’m so glad for parents like you who are being vigilant and proactive, and who are grounding their kids in the truth of God’s Word. Thanks for sharing with us at Grace & Truth!
We’ve always believed in openness and honesty about sex, relationships and what Yahweh expects from us in this manner with our kids. It has fostered great communication and talks with our kids, from a young age well into the teen and early adult years. They feel they can talk to us about anything and not be embarrassed.
This is great! Communication is so important in this area! Thanks for linking up with Let’s Get Real
My parents never gave me any sort of talk. You just didn’t talk about such things in our home. I am doing things differently with my own children as we have had many age appropriate talks as the topics have come up.
Jennifer, I read your other post, I’m sorry you had to go through that. I pray the Lord will help you to forgive yourself.
I was only told about my monthly and after it starts if a boy touched me I would get pregnant. If it happened, I would have to stand before our church and confess my sin openly. There was nothing else explained. Imagine being an innocent 12 year old dealing with the fear of being pregnant because of a boy holding onto my ankle and me holding on to another’s foot while tubing in freezing cold water in the middle of winter. Those were the longest 6 months of my life because I had no one I could talk to. Sex is a beautiful thing between a husband and a wife and it should be talked about with our children. If parents don’t speak up and teach about it Biblically, the world will teach it and in a way we don’t want. Thanks for linking up with Thankful Thursdays.
I am so sorry you had your difficult time. I appreciate your openness to God’s desire for parents and how we should teach our children Biblical sex education. I am really interested in these resources and will check them out. PS thanks for linking up with the #LMMLinkup this week.
I agree with you; I think the talk should come from parents. It shouldn’t be left up to the schools, or even leadership at church. This sounds like an excellent program that can discussed with all members of the family. Thanks for sharing with #SocialButterflySunday! Hope to see you link up again this week :)
I don’t think anyone who grew up prior to the years 2000 can remember their parents being teachers’ on the talk. Most were given books and I agree that this was not the way and things should be talked about more openly at the right times.
Thanks for linking to Talk It Up Thursday!