This is the first year in ten years of marriage that I didn’t have a tantrum. I’m not proud of my attitude and behavior in previous years. Holidays were stressful and not full of joy at all for me.
I was determined to have a better Christmas this year.
How did we have the best Christmas ever?
We changed up our focus.
I’ve been under the impression that everything had to be perfect and Hollywood magical for so long – and it’s exhausting. Of course, we study our Advent lessons about Jesus, but it really was more than that for me. That used to be just another added pressure.
I had to let go.
Simplify.
We didn’t do stockings. The kids mentioned it a couple times and I just bit my tongue and said no, not this year. I’ve always felt obligated to fill the stockings with junk and candy. We don’t have a fireplace. It was just something I had to let go.
We didn’t attend any holiday parties. The one my husband wanted to go to was smack in the middle of Tori’s end of year gymnastics class and she is more important than a plastered smile on my face and stress about how my hair looks.
Less Control.
I allowed my kids to go crazy with cookie decorating. They loved it and honestly, there was not much mess. They’re at a great age to have some freedom now. It was a pleasant time had by all.
I slacked up on school time this month. I had a few must-do’s on the list, but the rest of the time, I allowed them to play and they impressed me with their interest-led learning.
Fewer Presents.
We had intended to go on a vacation and skip the whole holiday, but that fell through and I had to scramble to purchase some things for under the tree.
I love the Something they Want, Something they Need, Something to Wear, Something to Read. I loosely followed that and it worked beautifully.
Almost everything arrived just in time for Christmas. My husband and I don’t really give each other presents and we’re ok with that. We buy what we want and need whenever throughout the year.
We didn’t make or buy presents for neighbors, coworkers, or friends. We really don’t know anyone and thankfully, we didn’t receive any from anyone so I don’t feel guilty. We sent our Christmas cards to our oil team and friends and family. I ordered presents for my husband’s niece and nephews. I sent a restaurant giftcard to my parents.
We read through Jotham’s Journey each night of the Advent season. The kids were excited each evening and reminded me it was reading time! We enjoy the candlelight service at church on Christmas Eve (except Alex, who promptly fell asleep on me).
On Christmas morning, we read the final chapters of those books first thing and sang “Go Tell it on the Mountain” – it was such a great moment to pause and worship before the present time.
In previous years, the number of presents were overwhelming and there were meltdowns from the sensory overload and stress of everything (kids and me).
This year, I got it just right.
Quality over quantity.
I love the rule of limiting presents to this:
- Something they Want
- Something to Wear
- Something they Need
- Something to Read
I like these simple wish lists and these printable wish lists to help kids focus on what’s important.
The kids were content, grateful, and occupied all day.
I wasn’t stressed and was able to enjoy the holiday. We all made dinner together. It was lovely.
Resources:
- Watch for the Light: Readings for Advent and Christmas
- Advent: The Once and Future Coming of Jesus Christ by Fleming Rutledge
- Low: An Honest Advent Devotional by John Pavlovitz
- Honest Advent: Awakening to the Wonder of God-with-Us Then, Here, and Now by Scott Erickson
- Calm Christmas and a Happy New Year: A little book of festive joy by Beth Kempton
- Have Yourself a Minimalist Christmas: Slow Down, Save Money & Enjoy a More Intentional Holiday by Meg Nordmann
- Hundred Dollar Holiday: The Case For A More Joyful Christmas by Bill McKibben
- Unplug the Christmas Machine: A Complete Guide to Putting Love and Joy Back into the Season by Jo Robinson and Jean C Staeheli
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I hope you have just as awesome a Christmas this year! It’s hard to limit the stress of the holidays, but the payoff is so worth it for the whole family. Thanks for sharing at the Thoughtful Spot!
We are also trying simplify this year. Instead of junk in the stockings (which we also used to do), we decided to write letters to every family member. I am excited for everyone to read mine! We are doing very small gifts, trying to stay under $1 each. With teenagers, it’s a challenge, but we are having so much fun coming up with ideas, it’s worth it! May you have a wonderful, tantrum -free, simple Christmas!
Oh, I LOVE the idea of letters! I did this on Valentine’s Day and I often do it on birthdays. Teenagers are a challenge in many ways! :)
I love the four present rule, perfect and helps cut the stress of what to give. I can remember all the shopping and fussing and worrying that what I did was enough, just right for each of my kids. Wish I had known your idea then. Thank you for visiting to share your bog and idea on the Oh My Heartsie Girls WW this week!!
Wishing you and your family a Merry Christmas!
Karren
Thanks for sharing your success story and highlighting the importance of doing advent devotions! We do three gifts each for our kids, following after the pattern of the Wise Men.
I love this post! This is similar to how I’m trying to do Christmas too. I love to hear other families’ stories about how they are trying to simplify and enjoy the holidays more! Visiting from This is How We Roll
Congratulations! You DID do it just right. I found this post just in time! It is a week before Christmas and I have not bought the first present. So I’m following your four present rule to give me peace and purpose as I head out into the madness today. Thank you!!
I have started doing things we need in stockings, and it takes the pressure off. Toothbrushes, toothpaste, socks, undies, crayons, lotion, bubble bath, etc. When kids get bigger it might be things like school supplies and other toiletries.
Merry Christmas!
Great ideas for simplifying and making sweet Christmas memories at the same time! Many Christmas blessings to you and your family!
So glad to help! Merry Christmas!
Great, great post, Jennifer! Thanks so much for sharing! I pray that you and your family will have an amazing Christmas! GOD bless you, beautiful friend! :-)
Ever since our daughter was born, we told her that Baby Jesus received three presents and she certainly wasn’t any more special than He, so she got used to the idea that she would only get three presents from “Santa” (“who is love in our hearts”). When she was about 8, she decided one of her three gifts would be a pregnant female llama from the Heifer Project that is donated to a family in need and ‘passes the gift” by giving its first born to another family. She’s 23 and have donated 16 llamas plus numerous baby llamas who have been placed with other families.