It occurred to me the other day that I’ve been home educating for almost 10 years. I think that puts me in the “veteran” category. I’ve apparently learned a lot in those years since people starting out on their homeschooling journey seek me to answer questions about methods, teaching styles, curriculum, learning, and parenting. I feel honored and a little bit unworthy. And then I think, maybe, I should start a consulting business?

So, in my arrogance, here is my list of things I’ve learned about homeschooling life: some negative and some positive, all random.

5 Things I’ve Learned as a Veteran Home Educator

1. Bloggers generally show their best side.

We rarely see the real. Her home in her perfectly edited photos on her professionally designed blog certainly looks nothing like mine on its best day! And I have no clue how she has time (or money) to dress her 15 children in cute Gymboree and Gap clothes (and do their hair), plan out their school lessons (and keep to the schedule), create and publish darling printables, design a healthy menu and actually stick to it, with a coupon-clipping budget of $159.35 a week, all while commemorating it brilliantly on her mega-money-generating blog with 4.2 gazillion followers.

Just in case you are mistaken that I am in that fantasy blogger/homeschooler world, here’s my typical school day:

I just try to remember to floss my teeth and get my kids to flush the darn toilet. That is success to me. Never mind the dishes in the sink from 3 days ago yesterday or the cat hair on my Rubeus’ recliner. I rarely make breakfast for myself. I have coffee. The kids eat sometimes eat dry cereal or instant oatmeal. School often begins as late as 10 in the morning. We take over an hour for lunch and watch BBC TV on Netflix (cuz it’s educational!) with our salami and cheese and crackers. Sometimes we resume school in the afternoons, but not always. I often forget to thaw out anything for dinner or don’t make it to the store and we have to scavenge for dinner. or get take out. There went the budget again. On bad days, I snap at my husband as soon as he walks in the door (because of course it’s his fault I was with the kids all day long, right?) Good days find us having tea with a sparkling kitchen at 3 PM, listening to classical music and reading poetry, all academic work completed. Do you think those kind of good days happen often? Nope.

2. Pinterest is the bane of my existence.

I really loathe crafts. Glitter is Evil. I don’t like gluing and sewing and all that. Pinterest is craft porn. I’m sure it has a purpose beyond making me feel teeny tiny and worthless and sucking all useful time away into the time vortex, but I’m not sure what that may be. I have no idea who all you people are following me on Pinterest as I collect Doctor Who quotes and pictures of VW Bugs. Get a life! If you are one of those who actually does those projects all over Pinterest, maybe I could pay you to send me one so I can fake it in a blog post. I will never have a handmade brick fire pit in my backyard because we rent shabby houses that I have no desire to spend time and money on. We will never have the painted shabby chic barn doors to an exquisite white and beige living room…because we still live there. White? With actual real people? Are you insane? And IKEA sucks.

3. My curriculum is better than your curriculum.

Seriously, I dread the beginning of the school year posts about My Homeschool Room and My Curriculum and My Perfect Life. I suppose their purpose is to show new homeschooling moms what the options are, but the reality for me is “I’ll never have that kind of homeschool room in a military base or shabby rental house.” Your curriculum is best for you. My curriculum is best for me. There are reasons I chose it. I shall not judge thee for having those boring boxed curriculum that resembles a strict classroom environment at home or even that k12 crap that is actually public school mafia at home. Don’t judge me for my unschooling-classical-Charlotte Mason-eclectic-Montessori curriculum that I have painstakingly put together myself through trial and error and much wasted expense over 10 years. I am now (mostly) confident that it is the best fit for our children’s learning styles and my teaching style.

4. I’m not as Christian as you are.

Apparently, there is a contest among Christian denominations to see who is the best. I am outta that race. You win. I can only do so much. I can’t keep up. I can’t even keep track of the points I’ve lost. We’ve left churches because their leadership didn’t allow us to think for ourselves or make decisions for our own family. We trick or treat and play Santa. We have never bought a goat for anyone. We have never gone on a mission trip. My husband and I never pray together. He doesn’t pray with the kids before work: they’re still asleep. We may skip Bible some mornings if the day starts off badly. We may or may not pick it up in the afternoon. We don’t have family devotions at every meal because WE EAT FOOD. Or every night at bedtime. I’m sometimes too tired to read my Bible or I get interrupted by some child’s need and forget to go back to it. If I had cleavage, I have some shirts that might show it. I wear skinny jeans. I rarely wear skirts or dresses. I haven’t had a pedicure in over a year. Sometimes, I dread going to church because I have to smile and socialize. We’re terrible at hospitality. We have four kids and that’s all we want or will ever have. We’re not into adoption. I say bad words. I watch rated R movies. I drink wine with dinner, beer with chicken wings, and cocktails at special occasions or on those evenings when I need a mama moment and lock myself in the bathroom. I yell. Deep down inside, I despise that Proverbs 31 woman. I have heard criticism for so many lifestyle choices and man-created rules. I don’t think God ever intended us to attack each other this way in His name. I listen if I am convicted by God. I make changes if He says so. I don’t like people trying to be my Holy Spirit.

5. It’s not about money. It’s about relationship.

I don’t have an income. My blog makes mere pennies. I would love to see otherwise, but I just don’t think that’s what God has in mind for me right now. I have removed many of my ads. I will still use affiliate links in posts when they are relevant. But I will not kill myself over trying to market products. I am trying to focus on doing what I love. I write. I educate. It’s fun and easy and natural for me, so why not? I’m am so over the wraps, nails, Usborne books, makeup, weight loss products that everyone is selling on social media. I’m a distributor for an essential oils company. I can only represent a company or product if I love it, use it, and can believe in it. I’m not a salesman. If God sends any money my way, it’s blessing bonus. I am just following His lead.

Blogging is my scrapbook for my children, my life. Blogging is reaching out to you, readers, and helping you on your journey any way I can. I am an educator, first; I have always been an educator. I am a mother to four amazing children. I am a military wife. I am a communicator. I crave real relationship with my family. I don’t just want surface-level living, adjacent to each other. I want the messy with the brilliant, shining excellence of unconditional love between siblings and parents. I yearn to reach out to you. I long to create community with you. Homeschoolers. Mothers. Wives. We’re in this together. Most days, we’re stuck in the house all day long with little ones and no adult interaction. We can’t even use the bathroom with the door shut. Let’s learn from each other and travel on this journey together. It’s about relationships. Community.