To My Daughters

I look at my daughters, ages 12 and 13 and 18, and I wonder what others see.

I see my children.

I see these girls as babies, toddlers, preschoolers, awkward youngsters, now the young women they are growing to be.

But they’re not grown. They are still children.

They may have breasts and periods and stand up tall and straight.

They may look you in the eye, challenge you, laugh at your stupid jokes, be embarrassed for you. They may appear proud and confident and older than they are. They see themselves as equals to others.

They are physically and emotionally strong.

They have a right to be silly, to take up space, to be loud, to have opinions, to be smart, to be sarcastic, to be leaders.

They work together, help others, show compassion and empathy. They also know how and when to compete or cooperate.

I have done all I can to prepare them for a cruel world while protecting their tender hearts.

To My Daughters:

I’m sorry I can’t protect you anymore.

When you were little, I didn’t worry so much about your safety. I gave you boundaries and appropriate freedom to grow and explore. I enjoyed watching you play sports, run and climb trees, bike and rollerblade, play in the creek and snow.

But now that you’re older, I have different fears.

I’m sorry that the state and country we live in considers you grown women when you are children.

But boys aren’t men when they have no healthy rites of passage. I’m sorry they fear our moon-blood cycles and power.

If WHEN you are assaulted, harassed, groped, whistled at, spoken to inappropriately…you will shocked that it happened to you, to your sister, to your friend, to me, to your aunts, your grandmothers. You will be asked what you wore, what you said, what your expression was, what you were doing, why did it happen, why didn’t you avoid it.

I’m sorry that our leaders consider women less-than, without a voice, unimportant.

I’m sorry our country is not ready for a female president.

I’m sorry that the patriarchal government doesn’t consider your bodies your own.

I’m sorry that new laws are regressing and it seems like we’re going backwards instead of progressing forward.

I’m sorry that many men and a lot of women are silent and complacent and think it can’t be that bad. It doesn’t affect them, so they ignore it.

I’m sorry that you have to stay together on your walks and be ultra-aware of your surroundings and others.

I’m sorry that you have learned fear.

I’m sorry that our society is leaning farther and farther into dystopian Handmaid’s Tale territory.

I’m sorry so many are so afraid that they’re locking up children and turning away with their hatred. I wish I could say that they don’t realize what they do, but I worry they completely understand and are doing it anyway. History repeats itself.

I’m sorry that our fundamentalist society no longer recognizes the power of the goddess, the life-giver, the glory of the female.

In their fear of female, men (and other women) create laws and rules and regulations to oppress women and children.

Men quickly forget that they are nothing without women. They wouldn’t even have been created or be alive – to complain about women.

You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.
― Maya Angelou

When or if you become mothers to your own children or any child, society will vilify you for everything you do. It will never be enough. You will never be enough. But you will be your child’s universe and goddess. Don’t ever forget that and just always strive for excellence.

I’m sorry that mental health has such a stigma still. You’re gonna be mostly on your own with that. There shouldn’t be shame. It should be like any other health issue. Our country doesn’t care about health, and surely not mental health.

I’m sorry my generation and previous generations destroyed our environment. I’m sorry for all the single use plastic and straws and toothbrushes and trash I just threw away. I’m sorry we didn’t and don’t do more and it might be too late now.

I’m sorry we wasted years in bad churches. I’m sorry we went down that abusive path in order to find Truth. I’m sorry I contributed to it in my search for God. I’m sorry they didn’t appreciate questions, your intelligence, or your abilities. I pray you find Love.

I’m sorry that higher education is essentially worthless and crazy expensive. I pray that I have prepared you for more.

I’m sorry that racism runs rampant. I’m ashamed to be white. Please use your privilege to call out racism wherever you see it. Educate others how to be kind.

I’m sorry that our society is a feudal system to debt. Consumerism consumes and is forever ravenous. I pray you seek value.

Protest. Speak up. Love.

Watch out for each other. Help each other. Help your friends.

I pray that you are safe.

Linking up: April Harris, LouLou Girls, Uncommon Suburbia, Pinventures, Farmhouse 40, Modest Mom, Welcome Heart, Kingdom Bloggers, Mary Geisen, My Captain, Create with Joy, Abounding Grace, Our Three Peas, Gingersnap Crafts, Sarah Frazer, Soaring with Him, Anchored Abode, Life Abundant, Apron Strings, Debbie Kitterman, Rachel Lee, Over the Moon, Reflections from Home, Penny’s Passion, TFT, Try it Like it, Creative K Kids, Chic on a Shoestring, Quiet Homemaker, Anna Nuttall, Answer is Choco, Simply Sweet Home, Della Devoted, Grandmas Ideas, Momfessionals, Susan Mead, Lyli Dunbar, Counting My Blessings, Crystal Waddell, CWJ, Fireman’s Wife, OMHG, Life with Lorelai, Being a Wordsmith, Purposeful Faith,