Jennifer Lambert

A Sacred Balance

Visit Us On FacebookVisit Us On TwitterVisit Us On PinterestVisit Us On InstagramVisit Us On LinkedinCheck Our FeedVisit Us On Youtube
  • Homeschool
    • Book Lists
    • How Do We Do That?
    • Notebooking
    • Subjects and Styles
    • Unit Studies
  • Travel
    • Europe
      • Benelux
      • France
      • Germany
      • Greece
      • Ireland
      • Italy
      • London
      • Porto
      • Prague
    • USA
      • Chicago
      • Georgia
      • Hawaii
      • Ohio
      • Utah
      • Yellowstone and Teton
  • Family
    • Celebrations
    • Frugal
  • Military Life
    • Deployment
    • PCS
  • Health
    • Recipes
    • Essential Oils
    • Fitness
    • Mental Health
    • Natural Living
    • Natural Beauty
  • Faith
  • About Me
    • Favorite Resources
    • Advertising and Sponsorship
    • Policies
  • Reviews

© 2023Jennifer Lambert · Copyright · Disclosure · Privacy · Ad

You are here: Home / Family / Ten

Ten

This blog may contain affiliate links: disclosure. Please see my suggested resources.

October 5, 2020 By Jennifer Lambert 10 Comments

My three girls are all teens now. My son just turned ten and I will tell you, it’s a different world having all my kids in two digits.

Young kids are so different from bigger kids. It’s fascinating to see their minds begin to develop into abstract when before it was all so concrete and literal, but they loved fantasy and fairy tales.

It’s a lot less physical work in parenting big kids and teens, but it’s way more emotional and psychological work now.

I wish I had been more aware during my kids’ formative years. It’s hard in the trenches to see the big picture and realize the affect our words and actions might have on our children’s psychological development. I was healing myself as I was trying to be a wife and parent to four young kids. I’m still healing and working on being a better parent and person.

While it is always a journey, I feel better equipped as a parent the last few years and I can differences in my youngest and my eldest in their mental health. I pray she forgives me and heals as we grow together.

Looking back, having young kids is like living in survival mode. There is little time to be metacognitive – to sit back, to relax, and enjoy it. There are certainly some moments. There are just glimpses. There are tears of joy and of frustration. There are grave moments of regret and apologies to self, God, and the child. There is often blame when I felt like I did it all with little or no help.

I can laugh about my son not sleeping well for his first three years now. I can apologize to my eldest for relying on her as a parent helper too much now. I can continue to revise our priorities and values more towards simplicity now. I can regret our delving into Christian fundamentalism now and make amends in our family spiritual education and healing.

We’re all healthier and calmer because I work hard to make sure our home is a haven. I constantly revise our priorities. I like simplicity.

During the first seven years, children work mainly out of imitation, while from ages 7-14, children work out of authority. This is why attachment is so important to develop a trusting relationship with kids.

This is also why many families experience difficulties with teens not listening. They didn’t feel attached or safe or listened to as young children, so they won’t just magically begin when they’re older. They develop their own thoughts, values, opinions, preferences. Many parents feel threatened and triggered by kids who express themselves, question authority, and other natural developmental growth.

Around age 9, kids undergo a change or crisis when they begin thinking abstractly. They’re continuing their development from young child to older child. They’re reaching the age of reason. They’re learning to trust themselves. They’re developing an opinion and preferences. Fairy tales are no longer as magical, but they may be rediscovered soon enough. It’s important for me to stay optimistic and positive thinking so my kids don’t get burdened, overly anxious, depressed, or upset.

It’s not time to worry yet.

Changes I See

My kids started becoming much more independent around age 10.

They develop opinions about everything. Clothes, food, room arrangements. They sometimes want a whole new decor theme. I am happy to help and guide their choices. They usually have freedom to do what they want to their bodies and their space. Being a military family, we always rented our homes, but now we own our first home, and it’s so much fun!

They complete their homeschool work much more independently. I’m seeing the transition from the grammar phase to dialectic phase in our homeschool curriculum around this age and it’s so exciting! Sometimes, they ask what else they can do or how they can help.

They desire more privacy and alone time, which can be difficult in a household of six people. We do our best.

They can cook simple meals for themselves and the family. I love waking up to treats! I love having cake almost every week!

They’re making more abstract connections and asking really good questions about complex concepts. It challenges me and my thinking and often I don’t have a good enough answer. It can be frustrating, scary, and exhilarating all at once.

I try to be respectful of my growing kids with their development, but occasionally I forget what I felt like at their age or I don’t understand what they’re thinking or feeling.

I ask a lot of questions. I watch the Tik Tok videos and Instagram memes my girls send me. We talk, discuss, and learn and relearn each other. It’s a process, a journey. I am privileged and blessed to travel this life with my children.

The Waldorf curriculum is so incredible because it is so responsive to student development. I believe all children should have access to an education that respects their development and inspires their soul. I wish I had discovered it many years ago when we began homeschooling. I try to incorporate aspects of it in our learning rhythms.

The time has come when I scan the baseball field and can’t recognize my own son among the boys. He has grown and changed so much so fast that I have to squint and look a few times before I’m sure.

He still snuggles up at bedtime for a story.

I love that he still holds my hand on our evening walks.

Ten year olds really love their family and family life.  They love to play in their neighborhood, if they live in a neighborhood, and sometimes even get along with their siblings (sometimes not!). They tend to respect their teacher and work hard in school. They tend to be more happy than they were at nine, and ten is typically an age of harmony.

The Parenting Passageway

You might also like:

  • Thirteen
  • Sixteen
  • Eighteen
Share
Tweet
Pin29
Share
29 Shares
You might also like:

Filed Under: Family Tagged With: development, elementary, parenting

Follow on Instagram

Recent Posts

  • Why Online Shopping for Kids’ Clothing is a Game Changer
  • The problem with schooling
  • Women’s Health
  • Gifting with Gratitude
  • Best Books of 2022
Booking.com ThermoWorks Thermapen Mk4

Comments

  1. Donna Reidland says

    October 5, 2020 at 11:15 am

    We definitely do grow in our parenting as in all areas of life. Thanksfully, our children are often way more forgiving than we can imagine when we’re open and honest with them. Blessings!

    Reply
  2. Rebecca Hastings says

    October 5, 2020 at 12:25 pm

    I am (mostly) loving the tween and teen years with my kiddos!

    Reply
  3. Marilyn says

    October 5, 2020 at 9:20 pm

    ********************************************************
    Thank you for sharing at #OverTheMoon. Pinned and shared. Have a lovely week. I hope to see you at next week’s party too! Please stay safe and healthy. Come party with us at Over The Moon! Catapult your content Over The Moon! @marilyn_lesniak @EclecticRedBarn
    ********************************************************

    Reply
  4. Maree Dee says

    October 9, 2020 at 2:23 pm

    Wonderful insight. Thank you for sharing. Keep holding that hand as long as he is willing. Maree

    Reply
  5. Lisa notes says

    October 12, 2020 at 12:13 pm

    Ten is such a fun year. I was around a sweet 10-year old this weekend, delicately balanced between child and adult.

    Reply
  6. Michelle says

    October 12, 2020 at 6:27 pm

    From my vantage point, I think your children are fortunate to have you as a mom, because you are not stuck with doing things the same way and holding on to the same opinions into perpetuity. You allowed yourself to continue to grow and change. You’ve realized there are better ways of doing, and you are willing to admit that the old ways were perhaps not the best ways. These are excellent things to model to your children.

    Michelle
    https://mybijoulifeonline.com

    Reply
  7. Maryleigh says

    October 12, 2020 at 10:55 pm

    I remember 10 – and my oldest said he’d never had a happy day in his life. I felt like such a failure – but pointed out that we had video of him having a happy day! LOL The second son was so over-the-top in all his emotional responses, I didn’t see a connection, but when the 3rd son, expressed his 10 year old blues, I saw the connection and realized it was a stage – which was so liberating for all of us – because they realized they weren’t broken – and I realized I hadn’t failed them. It seemed to bring a peace to them and they got through that “stage” much more quickly – as did the other two younger brothers. I think there’s a reason God gives children imperfect parents – it’s because if we were perfect, they would feel failure more keenly – and who would show them the way to the mercy seat! It sounds like you are doing an awesome job parenting your kiddos – and Happy 10!!!

    Reply
  8. Kimberly says

    October 16, 2020 at 11:06 am

    Thank you for sharing this on Traffic Jam Weekend! It has been chosen as a fave feature for this week’s party that went live on Thursday at 5:00 pm CST.

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. WELCOME TO TRAFFIC JAM WEEKEND LINKY PARTY 254 - Seeking Serenity and Harmony says:
    October 15, 2020 at 9:13 pm

    […] chose Ten by Jennifer A. Lambert. “I like the way Jennifer shares her story of personal growth, even as […]

    Reply
  2. Traffic Jam Linky Party #254 says:
    October 16, 2020 at 12:09 pm

    […]     Michelle chose Ten by Jennifer A. Lambert. “I like the way Jennifer shares her story of personal growth, even as […]

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recipe Rating




This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Free Homeschool Resources (Notebooking Pages) Suggested ResourcesGet Unlimited Teaching Resources | TeachSimple.comFind Weird Books at AbeBooks.com

Archives

Popular Posts

10 DIY Gifts with Essential Oils10 DIY Gifts with Essential Oils
Natural Remedies for HeadacheNatural Remedies for Headache
10 Natural Remedies to Keep on Hand10 Natural Remedies to Keep on Hand
Homemade SunscreenHomemade Sunscreen
Henna Hands CraftHenna Hands Craft
This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish.Accept Reject Read More
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
SAVE & ACCEPT