We Stopped Going to Church

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May 10, 2017 By Jennifer Lambert 130 Comments

We haven’t gone to church in a long time.

We didn’t have a lot of choices for English-speaking churches in Germany.

There’s the military base chapel, which is pretty vanilla since they have to cater to a broad audience and abide by military rules.

There are a few charismatic churches that just don’t appeal to us.

There are a few very conservative churches that are legalistic and cliquish.

I don’t want a rock and roll, laser show kind of church and it’s unfortunate that so many rely on these churchtainment distractions to get people through their doors.

We had attended a small general Lutheran congregation for the past year or so. Service began at 8:30 in the morning. Do you realize how hard it is to get everyone up, eat breakfast, get dressed, and out the door to drive 20+ minutes to church by 8:30 AM? We did it though. We went to bed early on Saturday nights in order to get up early for church.

I loved walking in ancient cathedrals in Europe and oohing and aahing at the magnificent architecture, cold smell of well-worn stone, beautiful and sometimes funny statues, chapel nooks – the sacred. And occasionally, there would be a mass and I could sit in a corner and just observe worship. I even understood some of it – the Latin, French, Italian. I always love the organ music.

Americans and Protestants don’t appreciate the sacred.

We recently moved back to the States and I don’t have great hopes of finding a church where we’ll fit in.

Before writing this, I researched “Why Should I Attend Church“? Many of the answers were interesting and even shocking to me. I expect the typical “Because the Bible says so” answer, but “Because you’re single and may meet someone” takes the cake.

I expect more.

I won’t lose my salvation. I still love Jesus.

I realize many will think I’m selfish for not dragging my family to church.

I do feel selfish.

We missed Easter. But I don’t like how most American churches celebrate Easter.

After many years of trying to discover God in church, I’ve just had enough. I need a break.

I need a break from Christians.

I can worship God – in the forest, at the beach, in a museum, while reading, while cleaning, while cooking, during meals, at the movies, listening to my children.

I am amazed by His creation and by people’s creativity, love, and kindness.

I don’t like church.

I’m a leader. I’m a teacher. I’m a counselor. It’s hard for me to just sit back and be lectured to, read to, talked at…It’s especially hard for me to keep my mouth shut when the pastor, teacher, deacon, elder, leader, board member expresses false doctrine. It’s exhausting holding it all in because it doesn’t seem to ever matter anyway.

As an introvert, I don’t like fellowship time, potlucks, events, programs, meetings, VBS, AWANA, or Wednesday night service. I shouldn’t have to apologize for my personal preferences. I’ve suffered for years so my family can participate and seem normal.

I think too many churches and church leaders allow and perpetuate abuse – of women, children, people of color, LGBTQ+, others on the fringe of society and the evangelical system.

It’s very unpopular to love Jesus and not attend church.

But I think faith is a private thing between me and God. I shouldn’t have to explain my reasons to anyone.

We stopped going to church for a variety of reasons:

Poor Leadership

The German American pastor moved away to another calling. The American interim pastor and his wife were less than welcoming. They are micromanagers. They are exclusionists of anybody who isn’t LCMS-conservative.

When we attended an American PCUSA church in Ohio, we quickly learned how they compromise and downplay the importance of social justice. They’re more about pew-warming, excluding outsiders, and pacifying their suburban elderly rich white congregation than doing God’s work.

Moral Failure

My young son’s teenage Sunday school teacher was in a sexual relationship with his girlfriend and this was apparently well-known and accepted by his and her parents, the homeschool community, and other church members. I was glad when he and his family moved away so I didn’t have to confront anyone. I am not a prude, but I didn’t feel it was appropriate behavior for a teen church leader. It’s one thing for consenting adults to have an intimate relationship; it’s another for teens to be all over each other in the pews.

I have seen lots of abuse from adult church leaders swept under the rug. Embezzlement and sexual abuse…to gossip and bullying.

Don’t even get me started on the purity movement and Christian pseudo-psychology and abusive parenting practices.

Lack of Education and Discipleship

Sunday school wasn’t about Scripture or Christian living. It often took 30 minutes or more to corral people from the coffee and cookies into the three classrooms. There was no curricula. My three daughters’ teacher led inappropriate discussions about astrology and pop culture. The adult class often derailed into discussions better suited to the Discovery Channel or a New Age seminar. Most teachers go either legalistic or extremely liberal, no in-between.

Many churches forego Sunday school altogether or have children’s time during the regular service, showing that kids aren’t welcome in the main church.

I’ve seen Bible studies on Sunday evenings or weeknights – in the church or in members’ homes. Usually, I’m not fond of the books chosen. They’re often trite, focused on certain “problems” or by authors I find questionable.

“The growth of the evangelical church has been ocean-wide, but often puddle-deep.” ~Barry Cooper

Busyness

We only felt valued when we were run ragged.

The American church is not a place of rest, but a place of constant socializing, pew warming, greetings, fakeness.

Every time we visit a new church, we feel sized up by the pastors and leaders.

What do we have to offer? How can they drain us of our gifts, time, money, abilities?

My husband doesn’t know how to set any boundaries with this and he will serve, serve, serve and do, do, do to feel better about himself in his performance-based self-esteem.

The church is not a healthy place for people who just want to rest in God.

How, I wondered, had my life in Christ gotten reduced to so much busyness, so many words, such weighty expectations? How had I gotten this far in the spiritual life without anyone ever having told me that it was OK to stop talking and stop doing and just be in God’s presence? What was I to do with the pent-up longing and frustration that was now expressing itself in these unexpected tears?
There is nothing in Western culture or even in our religious subculture to support us in entering into these times for “unproductive” being rather than frenetic doing.
Ruth Haley Barton, Sacred Rhythms

No Community

No one wants to actually get their hands dirty. Everyone wants a happy clappy church with no negativity.

Everyone is certainly not welcome. You should absolutely not come as you are.

Just pray away mental illness. Just smile more. If you still have depression, you’re obviously not right with God. What is your secret sin? What did you do to deserve to be abused? What were you wearing? God allowed it for your personal faith walk and growth. Then they throw out a lot of Bible verses to back up their bad theology. This is all bullshit.

Don’t ask questions about church history, theology, scripture, leadership, church clarity, politics, or social justice. Don’t ask any questions at all. That rocks the boat and upsets people who are too comfortable in their rich white suburban evangelicalism.

Don’t express any new ideas. Don’t recommend a hymn that is too obscure for the settled congregation. Don’t try to incorporate any tradition or decoration that might offend someone who just wants to maintain the status quo of the vanilla one-hour Sunday service.

“We have turned church membership into country club membership.” ~Thom Rainer

I do miss organ music. I miss singing hymns. I miss the Eucharist. I miss stained glass windows.

What we do instead of church:

Read the Bible

I read the Bible with my son and middle daughters most mornings and we have a little discussion about the passage. I write Scripture every day with monthly themes.

Evening Devotions

We read liturgical selections from Psalms, the Old Testament, and the New Testament, with writings from church fathers every evening with the Pray Now app.

Church History

We have lots of books about church history. We love biographies about missionaries, martyrs, church fathers, and other important people impacted by their faith. We usually coincide our readings to our chronological history studies. It’s important to know.

Act Out Our Faith

We look for opportunities to act out our faith. We practice kindness, empathy, and love. We learn about creation. We pray. The church isn’t a building. We are the church.

Experience Creation

We enjoy God’s creation on nature walks. We are fascinated by the creative plants, insects, and animals that God made just for our use and enjoyment. We love the natural sciences and learn everything we can.

Church should be more about discipleship and less about programs and opportunities to socialize.

We as a family came to the decision to take a break from church after many weeks of prayer.

I am not encouraging anyone else to leave church for any reason.

We may seek a new fellowship after we move again. I seldom enjoy church, but I want my children to have that experience growing up that I never had. They are old enough to make that choice.

I no longer use the word Christian or evangelical. Those words just mean hate these days.

If you feel led to pray for me, be careful that you are not cursing me nor my decision in your heart. Maybe look at yourself and your church and ask why people don’t feel welcome. You may not agree but you should not judge what you don’t understand. You don’t know my history. You don’t know the long and difficult road it took for me to even love Jesus. You do not not know the blood-like drops of sweat as I prayed over this difficult decision. Do not take Scripture out of context. Do not spew your hate and call it loving admonition.

If you still feel led to pray, then pray this:

Pray for church leaders that they may be more including and welcoming. That they not be vanilla and safe but speak boldly the Truth and social justice and be inclusive of all.

Pray for pastors, Sunday school teachers, elders, deacons, lay leaders, ushers, music directors, worship leaders, pastoral counselors…and whatever other titles of a church leader I may have missed. Pray that they have discernment. Pray they preach and teach Biblical Truth. Pray they are not swayed by the world. Pray they are not tempted by money, fame, media, or other people.

Pray for church fellowships to be loving, kind, welcoming, inclusive, and careful with their words to newcomers and seasoned parishioners.

Pray for the parents who are raising children in this fallen world, trying desperately to navigate these tumultuous waters of postmodernism, sexual and gender revolutions, social media, integrity issues, and political scandals.

Pray for the children who are growing up in this 50 Shades of Grey kind of world, confusing sex and social media likes for Love and Truth. Pray they find godly role models to guide them to Truth and they become world-changers for His Kingdom.

Pray for everyone who was and is abused by Church.

Pray for women, people of color, and indigenous people who are excluded from white evangelical church. All missionaries are colonizers.

You might also want to read my statement of faith post.

An interesting article: A Quiet Exodus: Why Black Worshipers Are Leaving White Evangelical Churches

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Statement of Faith

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April 6, 2015 By Jennifer Lambert 5 Comments

I recently was asked for my statement of faith.

In a homeschool Facebook group.

I laughed.

Did they really want me to go there?

Most of the others in the group just replied benignly with “non-denominational.”

Really?!

I’m not sure that answers much of anything at all.

I don’t want to know what kind of church people go to. That tells me very little other than how far they wish to drive on Sunday mornings. That they prefer a vanilla service to anything convicting. That they probably like the contemporary Jesus-is-my-boyfriend rock and roll concerts with lasers, screens, and a sick beat rather than hymns and organs.

To each her own.

And linking to a church website with a watered-down creed tells me what that church’s leadership puts out there for the world to see so no one gets offended, but it doesn’t reveal anyone’s real heart decisions.

That they care about numbers more than social justice.

There are only 357,000,000+ hits of the search “statement of faith” on Google.

I’ve never understood the denominational wars.

What is a statement of faith or belief?

Let’s look at definitions.

Faith:
1. confidence or trust in a person or thing
2. belief that is not based on proof
3. belief in God or in the doctrines or teachings of religion
4. belief in anything, as a code of ethics, standards of merit, etc.
5. a system of religious belief
6. the obligation of loyalty or fidelity to a person, promise, engagement,etc.
7. the observance of this obligation; fidelity to one’s promise, oath, allegiance, etc.
Belief:
1. an opinion or conviction
2. confidence in the truth or existence of something not immediately susceptible to rigorous proof
3. confidence; faith; trust
4. a religious tenet or tenets; religious creed or faith
So, the conversation about statements of faith irritated me.

It opens up a platform for exclusion.

Blind faith and true faith are two very different things. Blind faith is a way of saying, “Everything will work out,” and then waiting for something to change. True faith requires that we put our faith in ourselves and our abilities, and use our knowledge about how money works to make sure we can move forward in a more positive direction.
Ken Honda

My story of faith is so much more complicated than most people’s.

I didn’t grow up in church. My first tastes of church were tainted by abuse. I wasn’t allowed to ask questions or learn.

We’ve attended several denominations in different communities since we move around so frequently with the military. Some churches, we loved the pastor; others we loved the congregation or music. Too many church denominations compromise on really big, important issues in lieu of numbers.

There’s not one denomination that I can say I prefer over others, but there are certainly some I wouldn’t ever attend for various reasons, such as the rampant patriarchy, white supremacy, racism, childism, exclusion, dumbing down everything.

woman talking with sound waves coming out of mouth

I cannot stand the intolerance and legalism of “Christian” bloggers.

I don’t want to be a Christian Blogger.

When the blog and social media platform doesn’t align with someone’s personal conversation, then there’s a problem with integrity.

Too many bloggers only show the pretty plastered-on smile on their blog and public social media while spewing hatred on their personal feeds.

What is their real platform? Does having a blog give anyone the right to spew hatred anywhere? Especially if they claim to be a Christian…

But you know what? Christ forgives even if Christian bloggers get their hate on.

Often, I just scroll on by. Commenting on hate doesn’t usually help anyone and just furthers an argument. It doesn’t change anything. There’s no convincing them when they’re all righteous.

But lately, some bloggers have really overstepped on their personal and professional social media. Friends, peers, and brands are watching. Followers are reading. Jesus knows.

Why does the Christian blogging world have to be so competitive and hateful? There is room for all.

According to some Christian bloggers, divorce is not forgiven. One even goes so far as to say: being a successful blogger has some correlation to marital separation. Sucks to be me and a number of people I know who were unfortunate enough to have made a mistake (or two) and imagine ourselves forgiven and washed in the blood of the Lamb.

Sometimes, there are no right choices. What if there’s abuse or infidelity? What if he just leaves? I know several bloggers who are courageously writing about their stories of abuse in the patriarchal fundamentalist church movement. I am so proud of them for teaching and helping others.

A blogger on a site I used to write for asked for affirmation to not attend her sister’s wedding…to another woman. I get it: the fear and distaste many Christians have for the gay community and their civil rights. But if I have a family member or friend getting married, I would attend to show my love to her rather than boycott the event and create further strife. Isn’t it more about relationship and being a peacemaker? I am commanded to love my neighbor. What would Jesus say?

Another Christian blogger states that those on the fringe of Christianity (specifically Mormons, Adventists, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and Catholics) are not people with whom real Christians (Protestants?) should ever fraternize. She essentially calls for a BLOGGER HOLOCAUST and I wonder if there’s a WASP BLOGGER KKK out there and if she’s a card-carryin’ member. Maybe she reads a different Bible than I do? Because the Jesus I know hung out and ate with sinners and the fringes of society on a regular basis. I wonder if she’s seen the movie Footloose? I read and love many bloggers of all faiths, denominations, and backgrounds. They all have something to offer and teach. We should be educated in apologetics. Too many “Christians” are so scared and uneducated in Bible history or doctrine that they are legalistic. Not everyone is the enemy. I love learning and being curious.

Another Christian blogger complains about Christians on her social media feeds who share from celebrities’ pages who are openly gay and supportive of questionable organizations that don’t agree with her ultra-conservative worldview. Instead of scrolling by, unfollowing, or clicking “I don’t want to see this,” in the top righthand corner of the status, she had to publicly denounce the character and personal life choices of anyone sharing anything from any sites with vulgar language or questionable ideals. Some pages are crass and others are just funny. I am absolutely one of those! I prefer the honesty of those sites to the fake and watered-down posts of others. I am seldom shocked. They are truth speakers and the truth is uncomfortable.

Some bloggers accept any and every sponsor that comes their way, no matter if it’s a good fit for their family or readers or perhaps even doesn’t align with their self-proclaimed worldview. It was free or made them a dime or acquired them a few pageviews, so that post is going up for all the world to see while they sell their souls to improve their network and analytics. Good for them. And I hope they claim all that on their taxes? I struggle with maintaining integrity in this area. I have overstretched with reviews before and sometimes it’s so hard to say no. I’m limiting reviews and giveaways more and more.

Many Christian bloggers just want to fit in and feel better and bigger by keeping others out… all the while quoting Joel Osteen and Joyce Meyer and other prosperity preachers. And out-of-context scripture references are my favorite. Post a random Bible verse! Stab where it hurts. They recommend popular authors that twist scripture and weave in weird beliefs. They claim mom gospel or adoption gospel is the only or best way to heaven. They are holier than thou. Too many readers don’t know how to discern truth and just love these books with dangerous ideologies. Just because it’s published by a conservative or even proclaimed Christian publisher, doesn’t mean it’s good or right.

Some bloggers nonchalantly remark (braggy) that they only make $xx on this affiliate program or with that sponsor and it is hardly worth their time while some of us would be thrilled to only make that, ever, on anything! Some of us aren’t rich or successful in the blogging world – by any standards. I’m excited to get each and every penny. With integrity. I don’t post what I earn or don’t earn. Most of the time if I use #ad on a post, I never actually make money. Often, no one clicks the link or makes a purchase. Sometimes, I just want to share a product we use and love.

Some bloggers even steal intellectual property and claim it as their own. I guess celebrity bloggers don’t have to abide by any rules. They crop watermarks off images or copy/paste text or hotlink images on their own sites and social media.

I see Facebook pages and groups where bloggers delete any comments that disagree with their thoughts. If they share something controversial, they should expect some flak from it, ya know? Instead of spouting that their view is the only view, perhaps they could invite intelligent, respectful debate and learn from others? I welcome other views. I learn so much. But they want only shiny happy comments. Some people are just mean, but I leave comments on my blog and social media for others to see. Why are we scared of honest debate and curiosity?

These wolves in sheep’s clothing hide behind their keyboards while their personal testimonies fall apart.

They have smoking keyboards and razor tongues.

Before you get your Bible verse weapons ready, ask yourself: who taught you what you think believe?

Too many people look to Christian bloggers as leaders but I don’t see enough leadership material there.

That worries me.

Most days, I would rather not be considered a Christian blogger because I don’t want to be associated with so many of these bloggers.

It’s the cleverest bullies who disguise their hatefulness and ostracism with Bible verses.

So, to answer the question of my statement of faith, I replied with the Apostles’ Creed. And then I left that group. I didn’t want to align myself with them in any way. I don’t write for other blogs anymore either.

My faith evolves as I learn, read, pray, and commune with nature.

I would rather err on the side of love.

What more do I need to say?

What is your statement of faith? How do you answer that?

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I Don’t Want to Be a Christian Blogger

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June 9, 2014 By Jennifer Lambert 11 Comments

I am a blogger.

I love Jesus.

But I don’t want to be considered a Christian Blogger.

Within the blogging realm and Christian world, there are just too many pressures to name.

I am always learning new strategy for blogging. I refuse to compromise my principles. I am always honing my worldview and I want to learn as much as I can about everything so I can live well for Jesus.

People take offense to everything. There’s always someone getting her panties in a wad over something.

Everyone loves labels.

Christian. Blogger. Wife. Mom. Homeschooler. Daughter. Military spouse.

I get it. It makes lots of people comfortable to file everyone away into safe little cubby-holes.

There are oodles of Christian blogger groups on Facebook and Google+. I quit them all. So much judgmentalism.

I just want to be me.

And why, oh why, does it ever have to be about denomination?

I often gloss over topics I post, too scared to write what I really think and feel, too worried about offending. Those who know me in real life certainly know I rarely open my mouth without absolute truth flowing free.

I am me.

I spent almost thirty years changing myself so people would like me.

It was exhausting. Two failed marriages. Countless broken friendships. So much heartache.

I was consumed with trying to be who I thought society wanted me to be.

But eventually, I started listening to that still small voice and it started drowning out the lies I’d been hearing.

I don’t fit into a neat little box.

My pastor’s wife once showed surprise that I had not been raised as a Christian. I started attending church quite late in my 20s. It was still a very rocky and long road to learn to learn to become a godly wife and parent.

I wonder why she was surprised though? Am I so complacent in my faith walk that it seemed like I had never strayed? Or am I too good at covering up my past filthy sinful life?

I suppose it was a compliment – but I don’t receive those well and overanalyzed it, as usual.

A bloggy friend of mine recently expressed that blogging is exhausting. She recently got two email replies to the same newsletter:

1) the reader demanding to be removed from the email list due to a difference in faith opinion

and

2) a praise to the high heavens and thanking her for her writing.

I can’t please everyone all the time and I shouldn’t even try.

I just need to be who God made me to be. I need to write what God places on my heart, however hard it is sometimes.

Sometimes I use bad language. I drink wine and beer and sometimes even a mixed drink. I yell at my kids when they act stupid. Sometimes I holler at them when I’m tired and/or frustrated. I get mad at my husband for dumb stuff. I watch horror movies. My teen daughters watch horror shows and movies. I am often ashamed of myself.

I’m not perfect.

But I am forgiven.

I shouldn’t feel obligated to confess or apologize to you unless I personally sin against you. But I lie awake at night worrying about social media and the blog and if you like me. And you don’t even know me.

You only know what I allow you to see.

I’m not one to spout Bible verses on Facebook because I know how that can hurt when people don’t understand.

I read all sorts of blogs with all sorts of different topics. They are all good but many would be probably offensive to most of you. So I seldom share them.

“Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves. Matthew 10:16

I like to know what’s going on in the world and I want to view many different opinions before I make a decision. I don’t want to be biased. Many Christians are so very narrow-minded. I’m raising my children to be aware of the world with its evils and wonders. I want our family to be courteous and respectful, but not ignorant.

I want us to seek good and always be delighted when we find it.

I know many, many Christians who run the gamut and totally blast any stereotypes out of the water.

Blue hair and liberal politics. Essential oils, herbs, babywearing, and nursing until the kid is five. Skirt-wearing, conservative, homesteading. Keeping the Torah laws. Large family, no TV, hymn-singing, no make-up. Only child, special needs, living in an RV. Praying through all circumstances on faith, no debt, living on a prayer. Bohemian, living in the margins of society, tattoos, piercings. Cleavage showing, cropped bleached hair, blended family, adopted kids of all shades from all over the world. Fat, voluptuous, skinny. Pushing a cutting edge trend or ultra conservative. Black, brown, white. Working moms, SAHMs, WAHMs, bloggers, writers, teachers, homeschoolers…

It’s all war.

Does it really matter?

If I wear makeup or watch TV or blog in the nude (I don’t, but you’d never know!), why do you care?

Do my personal choices infringe on your family discipleship plans? Then don’t read it. Keep scrolling.

Does it matter what I do if I have love? Because I don’t think it matters so much what you do, as long as you love others. The little things are between you and God. And perhaps your husband and children and certain family and friends. It’s all really about relationships.

When Christian bloggers have to crowdsource whether they should attend a sibling’s gay wedding, I think they may have missed the big picture. When judging occurs at the expense of love, that’s a problem. She asked for permission to sever a close relationship. And she received a resounding YES from other Christians!

This is why I no longer write for other blogs.

I recently saw an ad to a conference “for successful Christian bloggers.”

I wonder what they consider “success.” Success in the world? Or in God’s kingdom? Because they are two totally different things and they constantly war within me as I struggle with setting boundaries and standards for my online presence without selling my soul – and yet this is more than a ministry. It is a lil business.

Bloggers seems to have a whole lot of influence, and marketers capitalize on this by offering products and services for review. I’m tempted all the time to get something for free, even if I know it doesn’t suit my family or it may compromise my values. And yet I see bloggers with reviews on their blogs for all these crazy things, and I just wonder: what is it that’s important to them? What are their values and boundaries?

As a lover of Jesus, I am called to be “not of this world.” I’m already thinking ahead. I’m trying to live now like it should be. On earth as it is in heaven. In the now.

If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. John 15:19

I am no expert at anything.

So many Christians are in “the first part of their lives” and rely on rules and legalism…yet they never make it to “the second part” of spiritual maturity with unconditional love and the fruit of the Spirit. They know the Bible and spout verses to represent exclusivity. They miss the point of unconditional love and what Jesus teaches.

I seldom attend church. Are you shocked?

Before you get your Bible verse weapons ready, ask yourself: who taught you what you think believe?

I no longer use the term Christian or evangelical. Those words just mean hate these days.

I love Jesus.

**I don’t want to be a Christian blogger.**

I just want to write.

I love it when people comment that my views and experiences help them.

Walking on water.

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Apologia What on Earth Can I Do Review

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May 27, 2014 By Jennifer Lambert 1 Comment

We love, love, love Apologia Educational Ministries and are thrilled to review volume 4 of the What We Believe worldview series!

We received the following:

What on Earth Can I Do? (hardback book for ages 6-12)
What On Earth Can I Do Notebooking Journal (for ages 10-12)
What on Earth Can I Do? Junior Notebooking Journal (for ages 6-9)
What on Earth Can I Do? Coloring Book (perfect for preschoolers)

Liz has completed the whole series now.

What is covered in the What We Believe series?

The series includes four volumes:

Volume 1 – Who Is God? (And Can I Really Know Him?) Biblical Worldview of God and Truth
Volume 2 – Who Am I? (And What Am I Doing Here?) Biblical Worldview of Self-Image
Volume 3 – Who Is My Neighbor? (And Why Does He Need Me?) Biblical Worldview of Servanthood
Volume 4 – What on Earth Can I Do? Biblical Worldview of Stewardship

Why do we love Apologia Christian worldview curriculum?
We are bombarded with the world all the time – through TV, radio, Internet, billboards, print media, friends and family, and even church. I am continually amazed at how Christians compromise the gospel and teachings of the Bible in favor of the world and concern over offending someone.

I say: “Take back your family and stand firm in your convictions that are Bible-based.”

I have never found a discrepancy Apologia worldview helps immensely by affirming our beliefs and why I teach my children what I do.

We are different and I am ok with that.
What did we do with this curriculum?
I read aloud from the book each morning and we discussed the lessons, stories, biographies. The journals have schedules for each day, but we found ourselves reading, reading, reading and loving it so much that we did above and beyond the daily lessons. The journals make things so easy, but they’re not necessary to have.

Alex was super excited to have a coloring book and he’s just the right age and ability to complete a page during or after our read aloud time. The coloring pages are the same as in the junior journal and he loved coloring in his book while his sisters colored in theirs.

Tori and Kate shared the Junior Notebooking Journal so sweetly (since I couldn’t find an additional one for a few weeks). Tori was thrilled when her own journal arrived!

The girls love the lapbooking components, coloring pages, copywork, and puzzles. Some of the free writing assignments we skipped since the girls weren’t ready to do those. Kate and Tori really loved making blueberry and lemon walnut muffins as one of the assignments.

Liz had her own Notebooking Journal and completed the assignments daily. Occasionally, she had to complete the reading if she missed the read aloud time.

I am amazed at how God has orchestrated events in our lives the past couple months.

We’re in the transition of moving from Utah to Germany and it’s been quite stressful and confusing for our younger three who have no memory of past military moves. (My husband is Air Force and this is the first PCS I’ve experience not being pregnant or nursing a newborn!)

The opening stories in the first few lessons about World War II and German and British characters delighted my kids who are eager to learn everything they can about our new home. Great images and biographies accompany the stories. And we all love history.

We haven’t quite reached this era in our history studies, but God’s timing is always perfect. My children immediately related Colin and Jenny’s experiences to the Pevensie kids in the Narnia books! They’re excited to visit these historical places mentioned and read more about the historical events. And they’re tickled to realize that the BBC existed that long ago as a radio station before the modern TV station with the Doctor Who shows they know and love.

Even Dad enjoyed listening to the read alouds during our roadtrip. The stories and fictionalized retelling of Jesus’ parables are real page turners. This is my favorite in the series, I think.

We continue to read our lessons aloud and complete the journals while we are staying in temporary housing on Ramstein AFB in Germany. We found a house and are awaiting our household goods. How appropriate is our lesson on greed and not coveting too much that we don’t need. We downsized a great deal before we moved, but we will not have room for some of our stuff in our new German house. I love how God is pruning us in this area. Good thing I don’t really have emotional attachments to many of our things.

I discovered neato devotional on YouVersion app called What On Earth Am I Here For. It’s so complementary!

No teacher manual needed. Great for the whole family. My kids are 4, 7, 8, and 13. The lessons are even powerful and interesting enough for family devotional time.

What on Earth Can I Do? is $39.00
What On Earth Can I Do Notebooking Journal is $24.00
What on Earth Can I Do? Junior Notebooking Journal is $24.00
What on Earth Can I Do? Coloring Book is $8.00

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We’re Not That Special

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May 13, 2014 By Jennifer Lambert 6 Comments

“I don’t know how you do it.”

“I could never do what you do.”

“How do you do it?”

But I wonder if they really want to know and I don’t really know what to say.

It’s just life for us.

We are counter-cultural.

We love Jesus. We are a homeschool family. My father and husband are military.

Therefore, we do things differently and live our lives in a different pattern than most people.

We are raising our kids to be world changers.

I focus on servant leadership because I don’t want my kids to feel entitled. I want them to have grateful hearts and know contentment in all circumstances. I am still learning this too.

We are different than the mainstream. While I don’t fish for compliments, I do love hearing how our kids are courteous, polite, well-mannered, compassionate. It is affirmation.

Even among church friends, we were different. I often didn’t have my kids attend church events because we chose not to participate in worldly activities. I spent Sunday school hour with Elizabeth, working through a mother-daughter devotional since there was no Sunday school class appropriate for her or interesting to me.

We are homeschooling our four children.

Many people I know are amazed that I have all four children at home every day. While I understand homeschooling isn’t the right educational choice for many, I do think many parents seem to prefer to not have their kids around. Many parents fear actually parenting. Many people fear relationships.

In the beginning of our homeschooling journey, I was certainly among the fearful parents. I wasn’t trained to teach young kids and I was unsure what to do with my babies, preschoolers, early elementary kids.

Liz attended a private Christian preschool and one month of third grade in a public DoD school. My younger three kids have never attended school outside the home.

Again, we are different than the mainstream who send their kids to public or private school or even do part-time homeschooling for whatever reason. I feel we’re different than a lot of homeschoolers too.

We originally began homeschooling solely for academics. Within a few years, I had changed my perspective and methods to be more of a lifestyle choice.

After trying various co-ops and classes and extracurricular activities, we decided to take a break from all that and just stay home and learn. It’s saving us money and the kids are getting creative to find ways of learning what they want in the way of music or language.

I love the freedom we have to learn what we want, when we want, based on our interests. We can days off to travel or explore something new. We don’t keep a strict calendar since we school roughly year-round. This makes some school “years” longer than others – especially PCS years.

We are a military family.

My kids are third-culture kids (TCK), growing up in a different cultural environment than my husband – or myself. Whereas by definition, I am an adult third-culture kid (ATCK), my children are experiencing even more differences from the cultural norm than I did as a military child.

We don’t have a home.

We have temporary homes and I so relate to the verse:

For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come. Hebrews 13:14 NLT

By being TCKs, my kids experience a different normal than other kids. Military subculture permeates their existence as it did mine and it’s difficult for little kids to understand that not everyone they know understands BXes, commissaries, deployments, and other military things that are normal life for us.

Elizabeth has experienced four PCSes – permanent change of station moves. My younger three don’t remember moving at all. Victoria was four when we arrived in Utah and Katie was a year younger and Alex was only a few months old. They have no memory of packing, moving, or arriving.

For us, this is life. This is our normal. We do it because there’s not an alternative and we did choose this life. God called us to this. The kids took all of the recent PCS events with stride and great poise. I am so proud of them during this stressful time.

Saying goodbye to people, places, and things is normal for us. For many people we know, it is unfathomable to even imagine saying goodbye since they’ve never moved out of their town or away from family. Every two to four years, we pack up and move on to a new adventure. Goodbyes are hard. Hellos are harder.

Holidays are lonely for us. We spend every holiday with just the six of us. I make extra effort to make holidays special and create tradition since we don’t go to visit extended family or have anyone stay with us for holidays. These events could easily pass us by as just another day if I don’t remember to create tradition for the kids to have memories. You can always help a military family feel special by including them and inviting them to share special events with your family.

We get to live history. We’ve lived in Georgia, Texas, Hawaii, Utah, and are on our way to Germany. I take advantage of our locales to educate the kids about the cultural and historical events first-hand. I love experiential learning. The kids are super excited!

Every family is unique.

Before you blurt out: “I could never do what you do!” as an afterthought or compliment (or insult), take some time to understand that family’s dynamics, what makes them special.

Maybe you’ll make a new friend or learn from them.

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31 Days of Servant Leadership: Respectful Parenting Resources

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October 29, 2013 By Jennifer Lambert 1 Comment

Disciple your kids. If you don’t train them, the world will.

“Go figure out what this Scripture means: ‘I’m after mercy, not religion.’ I’m here to invite outsiders, not coddle insiders.’” Matthew 9:13 The Message

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31 Days of Servant Leadership: Excellent

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October 26, 2013 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

What is excellent?

According to the Free Dictionary, excellent means:

Of the highest or finest quality; exceptionally good of its kind.

Too many of us strive after perfection, when we should really aim for excellence.

When I was in school, my grades were never good enough. If I got a B, why was it not an A? If I got an A, why was it not an A+?

I never looked good enough. My mother constantly admonished me to put on lipstick; I was too pale. This was during the grunge ’90’s, y’all. I wanted to look pale.

As parents, we often inadvertently teach our kids that they’re not good enough. When they rush through a chore or assignment, we mean to say it’s done poorly, but they often perceive that they’re not good enough rather than the job wasn’t done well.

As Christians, we’re bombarded with all the not good enoughs: giving, volunteering, teaching, nursery duty.

We can never give enough of our money or time to meet anyone’s standards.

By trying and failing to be good enough, we lose the reason for giving and become bitter. If we’re not cheerful givers, we’d better just not give at all.

If our kids see us stressing over works instead of following Christ, what are we teaching them? Do we want our kids to be moral heathens or true Christ followers?

Are you just teaching your kids to obey the rules? Or are you teaching them to seek after Christ?

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31 Days of Servant Leadership: Praiseworthy

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October 23, 2013 By Jennifer Lambert 2 Comments

What is Praiseworthy?

praise: approval or admiration

When we praise God, we show Him our admiration.

When we praise things of the world, we show approval…perhaps for the wrong reasons.

Do you crave the approval of other people or the approval of God?

I know I’m not alone in that I’ve spent most of my life seeking the approval of other people. I want to be loved, needed, affirmed, respected, appreciated, applauded.

I am ashamed of so many things I did seeking after that approval.

I want to live unashamed.

I want to be live boldly for Christ, not for men. I want to teach my kids that it’s ok to be our quirky selves and God uses the ordinary to make extraordinary. Who cares what others think? They may snub, raise eyebrows, roll eyes, smirk.

And too often we’re behind-the-scenes, working hard for what feels like nothing. We may never get to see or enjoy the fruits of our labors.

It hurts. It doesn’t matter if we know we are living in the will of God. We want someone to say, “Thank you.” “You did a good job.” “You look pretty today.”

It’s simple. Show your appreciation for beauty, kindness, help. Show someone Jesus. Teach your children that genuine love is more than empty compliments.

Seek to be praiseworthy and to hear those words: “Well done, good and faithful servant!” Matthew 25:21

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31 Days of Servant Leadership: Admirable

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October 21, 2013 By Jennifer Lambert 1 Comment

What is admirable?

The Free Dictionary defines admire:

To regard with pleasure, wonder, and approval.

To have a high opinion of; esteem or respect.

To regard with esteem, respect, approval, or pleased surprise.

When was the last time you expressed those emotions for the things of God?

As a society, we are drawing farther and farther away from a biblical worldview. Even Christians are too much in the world and compromise.

We regard with pleasure: food, flowers, jokes, entertainment.

We esteem: celebrities, leaders, idols, rich people

We approve: too much of the world.

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. 2 Timothy 2:15

There’s nothing wrong with regarding things with pleasure. I admire a great meal, flowers, a waterfall, a keen wit.

The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Psalm 19:1

We should respect worldly leaders, if only for their position of power. But they are not above God.

Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human authority: whether to the emperor, as the supreme authority, or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right. For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish people. Live as free people, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as God’s slaves. Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor. 1 Peter 2:13-17

We should not be too much in the world. If we are truly Christ followers, we will want less and less of the world and more and more of Him.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2

What do you want your children to admire? Do you want them to equate Jesus with celebrities? Do you want them to be fans…or followers?

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31 Days of Servant Leadership: Right

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October 21, 2013 By Jennifer Lambert 1 Comment

What is right? Who determines what is right?

When I was a relatively new homeschooling mom, a friend remarked to me about another homeschooling mom who “was doing it right.”

She “did school” in the mornings and didn’t answer her phone or door until school time was over.

I don’t know why that made such an impression on me. The friend who said this is neither a homeschooler nor a Christian. Her opinion shouldn’t have mattered so much, but here I am, replaying the scene in my head almost six years later. And because I felt I didn’t measure up to that “right” standard, I harbored bitterness and ill will in my heart towards them both. I didn’t search my soul for “rightness” or focus on what is right for me and my family. I focused on comparison.

What was right for that mom is not necessarily right for me.

But what we can be assured of, is that God and the Bible are always right. We can teach our children that families have differences. Worldviews must be aligned with Biblical teachings. Prune your hearts and relationships and what you expose your kids to based on what is truly right.

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