Jennifer Lambert

A Sacred Balance

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50 Shades of Green

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July 25, 2022 By Jennifer Lambert 17 Comments

My husband officially retired from the US Air Force the end of April 2022, and he was on terminal leave from the end of December 2021.

Twenty years is such a long time, but also a short time.

We met when he was on his first tour – at Warner Robins, GA. It’s been about eighteen years for me. The lifetime of a military spouse.

The bittersweet of giving up a career in academia to homeschool children and keep house while traveling to various duty stations, trying to create a new life every three years.

There’s been good, bad, ugly.

There were seasons of joy and seasons of depression. There were sometimes too long moments when I didn’t want this life anymore and wondered if I could find something, anything better elsewhere.

Sometimes, I wake up in the middle of the night, disoriented, feeling out of time. Which house is this? Where am I? I almost expect my kids to wander in as toddlers, but they’re teens now. I am the keeper of all the memories since it all runs together for them. We have only pictures to remind them.

I am not a good military wife.

Oh, I tried over and over, but always failed miserably, to be a good military wife.

I had to purge so many possessions every time we moved. I regret and resent some of my collectibles and memories are gone forever because my husband was concerned with weight allowances for our packing out. Books signed by the author, my teapot collection, knickknacks, toys from my childhood, castoff furniture from my parents. Somehow, it was always my things that had to go?

I often lost and found myself in a spiral of packing materials, moving boxes, lost or stolen items, and so many broken glasses.

There’s a metaphor there somewhere.

Every time we moved, we could recreate ourselves.

It was never quite spoken aloud, but I think we all realized we could be whoever we wanted to be, sloughing off the old skins we wore at our last location and trying on someone new, seeing how it tasted in our mouths and felt in our hands.

I searched for community in churches, homeschool groups, co-ops, mom clubs, military spouse orgs.

I never felt that I fit and then it was time to leave again anyway.

Out of sight, out of mind.

No one stayed my friend.

I realize they were just acquaintances for a season.

My kids lost everyone every few years. They don’t even know their cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents.

It’s been a lonely life. It’s still lonesome.

It infuriates me that we are so disposable.

Out of sight, out of mind.

So much loss over the years – broken items, broken hearts.

What to Expect with Military Retirement:

Hitting the Button

It was a bittersweet day when my husband officially requested retirement papers.

Military members can apply no earlier than 12 months prior to their retirement effective date. It is recommended that applications are submitted no later than 180 days prior to their effective pay date to ensure payment is received on time.

There were transition videos (TAP) and checklists to complete. It was worse than PCS checkout or high school graduation week!

Leave

I think there are options to cash in leave or take terminal leave before the actual retirement date. It might be different for various services or groups.

Taking terminal leave lets you use accrued leave in lieu of selling the leave. Terminal leave is granted at the discretion of your command.

It was a little bit awkward for us since there was six months of terminal leave, and this was all during COVID, so there were no parties or ceremonies.

Final PCS?

When retiring from the military, you are permitted a last move to whatever location you choose within the U.S.A., a place that is known as your “home of selection.” You have a year to file for this.

We chose to stay in Dayton, Ohio.

My husband finally has an unexpired driver’s license with a current picture after updating it to Ohio from Illinois!

Insurance

We lost SGLI, so we are choosing to purchase Term Life Insurance and opting to take all the precautions in case of death so the benefits continue for me and the kids. VGLI is another option.

USAA offers insurance and other services to look into and compare prices.

Tricare is still a great health insurance since we live right near Wright Patterson AFB. We like the continuity of care. We’re all in great health, but it’s familiar and easy and cheaper than alternatives for us. The retiree option has copays, so that’s different for us.

We chose to get dental and vision insurance through my husband’s new job.

My husband gets veteran medical care at WPAFB.

Working Again

While some may be able or even want to be retired and putter around, we are still young and have teens who need all the things. Not working just isn’t an option yet.

If choosing to work right away on base in a GS, contractor, or similar capacity, there is a waiting period, but some can request a waiver and work immediately if there is a job offer.

My husband updated his LinkedIn and created a résumé. We thought it would be easy, but it was not. It was stressful and he had several interviews that were a joke. No one wanted to pay him what he was worth.

My husband was able to find a civilian job in January.

I had to buy him clothes! It’s so much more work having to choose chinos and a polo and socks and shoes than wearing a military uniform!

Taxes

We chose to retire in Ohio because military pensions are not taxed. Some states have various tax breaks for military retirees.

Federal taxes may come as a surprise the first couple years with the military pension and his new job, so we’re opting to have more withheld and will probably hire a tax professional to help us navigate this year. I just hope to break even.

VA Rating and Benefits

There were so many medical appointments at private clinics and hospitals to ensure there was no fraud or cronyism. They checked every body system. It seemed each appointment was for one little thing. It took months.

He requested all his medical records and had to submit those as proof of any issues.

My husband received his VA benefits letter on May 2, 2022. He received his first VA check on June 1, 2022. There was no back pay.

VA benefits are not taxed.

Each state has different benefits based on ratings.

We had purchased our home with a VA Loan. The kids have a year of his GI Bill for college. VA education benefits are great in Ohio. There are free and discounted homeowner taxes and car license plates.

Other

We need to update our financial investments, wills, and POAs. We haven’t updated these since the last deployment.

Some of this slid by since the JAG office has been closed during COVID.

There was so much military equipment to go through, give back, donate, sell. What would we ever need it for again?

I’m sure everyone’s military retirement process is a little different, but this was our rather simplified experience.

I’m glad we don’t have to deal with the dread of deployments or PCS anymore. Our kids are 12, 15, 16, and 21. We are relieved to have a home where we can finally feel like we can put down some roots.

Onward to the next stage of our lives!

You might also like:

  • Stages of Grief: PCS Edition
  • Putting Dreams on Hold
  • Surviving Deployment as an Introvert Spouse
  • Making a House a Home
  • I Long for More

Resources:

  • Retiring?: Your Next Chapter Is about Much More Than Money by Ted Kaufman
  • The 5 Years Before You Retire: Retirement Planning When You Need It the Most by Emily Guy Birken
  • Empty Nest, Full Pockets: How to Emotionally and Financially Prepare for Your Family’s Future by Matt Meline
  • What Color Is Your Parachute? for Retirement: Planning a Prosperous, Healthy, and Happy Future by John E. Nelson
  • The Soul of Money: Transforming Your Relationship with Money and Life by Lynne Twist

Linking up: Eclectic Red Barn, Random Musings, Create with Joy, Homestead, Shelbee on the Edge, God’s Growing Garden, Soaring with Him, Anchored Abode, InstaEncouragements, Joanne Viola, Jenerally Informed, Ridge Haven Homestead, Ducks in a Row, Fluster Buster, Anita Ojeda, LouLou Girls, Suburbia, Penny’s Passion, Try it Like it, Katherine’s Corner, Imparting Grace, Slices of Life, Being a Wordsmith, Momfessionals, OMHG, Lisa Notes, CWJ, Modern Monticello, Answer is Chocolate, Pam’s Party, Pieced Pastimes, Pinch of Joy,

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Filed Under: Military Tagged With: finance, military, milkids, milspouse, money, veterans

Veterans Day

This blog may contain affiliate links: disclosure. Please see my suggested resources.

November 2, 2020 By Jennifer Lambert 5 Comments

Please don’t mistake Veterans Day for Memorial Day.

In the USA, we have different days than the UK, Canada, and Europe to commemorate veterans. November 11 is Armistice Day, but Americans only swooped in at the last minute of WWI, so we don’t really learn much about it. I took my family to visit the memorials in Flanders.

Veterans Day on 11 November honors those who have served in the U.S. Armed Forces. 

The original concept for the celebration was for a day observed with parades and public meetings and a brief suspension of business beginning at 11:00 a.m.

The United States Congress officially recognized the end of World War I when it passed a concurrent resolution on June 4, 1926.

With the approval of legislation on June 1, 1954, November 11th became a day to honor American veterans of all wars. Later that same year, on October 8th, President Dwight D. Eisenhower issued the first “Veterans Day Proclamation.” 

Memorial Day is a federal holiday the last Monday in May, in the United States for honoring and mourning the military personnel who died while serving in the U.S. Armed Forces. We don’t ever say, “Happy Memorial Day.”

Armed Forces Day is an unofficial U.S. holiday earlier in May to honor those currently serving in the armed forces.

My grandfather served his whole life in the US Navy.

My dad served a tour in the Navy, then retired from US Army Reserves.

My husband is looking forward to retiring from the US Air Force. His grandfather and uncle also served in the Air Force.

We’re a military family.

We’ve been fortunate to live in many interesting places like Hawaii and Germany.

We’re resilient, even through the stress of moving around frequently and deployments. Being a military spouse has its challenges. Military kids are unique for sure.

Resources:

  • Military Kids
  • Flanders WWI Sites
  • World War I Unit Study
  • Normandy WWII Sites
  • World War II Unit Study
  • American Military Cemetery in Luxembourg
  • Pearl Harbor Sites
  • Memorial Day
  • Revolutionary War Unit Study
  • Civil War Unit Study
  • Middle East Unit Study
  • Korea Unit Study
  • Vietnam Unit Study
  • Operation We Are Here
  • Veterans Day from Scholastic
  • Veterans Day from PBS
  • The Homeschool Mom Veterans Day Unit
  • Simple Veterans Day Preschool Unit Study
  • Veterans Day Guide from I Choose Joy
  • Year Round Homeschooling Veterans Day Unit
  • Worksheets from Kids Konnect
  • Patriotic Crafts from Enchanted Learning
  • PreK Pages Crafts
  • Veterans Day Notebooking Pages from In All You Do
  • Productive Homeschooling Veterans Day Notebooking Pages

What does Veterans Day mean to you?

Linking up: Random Musings, Create with Joy, April Harris, Mostly Blogging, Little Cottage, Welcome Heart, Marilyn’s Treats, Kippi at Home, InstaEncouragements, Purposeful Faith, Suburbia, LouLou Girls, OMHG, Our Three Peas, Grandma’s Ideas, Anchored Abode, Soaring with Him, Fluster Buster, My Girlish Whims, Ducks in a Row, Ginger Snap Crafts, Katherine’s Corner, Penny’s Passion, Debbie Kitterman, CKK, Answer is Chocolate, Momfessionals, Simply Sweet Home, Fireman’s Wife, CWJ, Chic on a Shoestring, Everyday Farmhouse, Being a Wordsmith, Anita Ojeda,

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Filed Under: Military Tagged With: military, veterans

Memorial Day

This blog may contain affiliate links: disclosure. Please see my suggested resources.

May 21, 2020 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

Memorial Day is more than a holiday about barbecues and picnics and pool openings.

I realize it’s the official start of summer.

Please don’t wish people, “Happy Memorial Day!”

Please don’t mistake Memorial Day for Veterans Day.

Veterans Day honors those who have served in the U.S. Armed Forces. 

Armed Forces Day is an unofficial U.S. holiday earlier in May to honor those currently serving in the armed forces.

Memorial Day is a federal holiday in the United States for honoring and mourning the military personnel who died while serving in the U.S. Armed Forces.

Many historians date the origins of Memorial Day back to the Civil War.

Volunteers place an American flag on each grave in national cemeteries.

Many people visit cemeteries and memorials on Memorial Day to honor and mourn those who died in military service.

Why Poppies?

In 1915, following the Second Battle of Ypres, Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae, a Canadian doctor, wrote the poem, “In Flanders Fields.” Its opening lines refer to the fields of poppies that grew among the soldiers’ graves in Flanders.

In 1918, inspired by the poem, YWCA worker Moina Michael attended a conference wearing a silk poppy pinned to her coat and distributed many poppies to others present. In 1920, the National American Legion adopted the poppy as their official symbol of remembrance.

Anzac Day is a national day of remembrance on April 25, in Australia and New Zealand that broadly commemorates all Australians and New Zealanders “who served and died in all wars, conflicts, and peacekeeping operations” and “the contribution and suffering of all those who have served.”

I’m sure each fallen soldier would ask you to remember why you are FREE.

Never forget.

Teach your kids about Memorial Day:

  • Flanders WWI Sites
  • Normandy WWII Sites
  • American Military Cemetery in Luxembourg
  • Pearl Harbor Sites
  • How to Memorial Day
  • Don’t say Thanks for Service
  • FREE Notebooking Pages
  • ABCTeach – Free Memorial Day printables
  • Home of Heroes – Medal of Honor resources
  • Making Learning Fun – Memorial Day activity pages
  • Raising Our Kids –  Memorial Day coloring pages
  • Homeschool Helper Online – Memorial Day resources
  • The Homeschool Mom – Memorial Lesson Plans
  • Homeschool Creations – Memorial Day Printables
  • Memorial Day Preschool Cutting Practice from 3 Boys and a Dog
  • How to Make a DIY Patriotic T-Shirt from Crafty Mama in ME
  • 10 Cool Family Tents for Camping from FrogMom
  • F is for Flag Handwriting Letter Mazes from Simple Fun for Kids
  • Memorial Day Penmanship Worksheet from Schooling a Monkey
  • Memorial Day Word Search from Something 2 Offer
  • Learning With My Boys – Memorial Day unit study

Take a moment in between your summer celebrations to remember the fallen.

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Filed Under: Military Tagged With: memorial day, military, veterans

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