Jennifer Lambert

A Sacred Balance

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12 Bullying Warning Signs

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When kids head back to school these days they face some big stressors in addition to homework grades and peer pressure. Concerns about bullying and its relationship to school violence add another layer of stress.

More than 43% of teens report being bullied online; additionally, teens are more than twice as likely to tell their peers about bullying than they are to tell parents or other adults, one study found. Victims of bullying and other early trauma often carry emotional scars into adulthood, Dr. Nelson, author of the bestselling book “The Emotion Code,” explains in this short video.

12 bullying warning signs parents should watch for:

  • Emotional upset, anxiety, and depression.
  • Frequent headaches and stomach aches.
  • Faking illness.
  • Unexplainable injuries.
  • Changes in eating habits.
  • Poor sleep / frequent nightmares.
  • A drop in school performance.
  • Not wanting to go to school.
  • Sudden loss of friends.
  • Avoidance of social situations.
  • Low self-esteem.
  • Self-destructive behaviors including self-harm, running away, or talking about suicide.

 

Dr. Nelson explains why some kids become bullies and others can become targets of bullying. He can share how parents can talk with their children to uncover and heal the emotional trauma of bullying, as well as other steps and when to take them.

“Many kids who are victimized by bullying don’t ask for help because they are afraid of being seen as weak or a tattletale, or fear backlash from the bully or rejection by friends,” Dr. Nelson says. “As a result, parents are often the last ones to know.”

“Take necessary action with the school and/or the bullies’ parents to assure the child’s safety,” Dr. Nelson says. “Help the child to know that he or she is valued and that it is safe to communicate with you as a parent or a counselor.”

About Dr. Bradley Nelson:

A holistic Chiropractic Physician and Medical Intuitive, Dr. Bradley Nelson is one of the world’s foremost experts in the emerging fields of Bioenergetic Medicine and Energy Psychology. He has certified thousands of practitioners worldwide in helping people overcome unresolved anger, depression, anxiety, loneliness, and other negative emotions and their associated physical symptoms. His bestselling book, “The Emotion Code,” provides step-by-step instructions for working with the body’s healing power. Download a free copy of the ebook and the audiobook by visiting www.EmotionCodeGift.com.

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Teen Driving

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My daughter recently got her learners permit to drive in Ohio.

It’s been fun teaching her the basics of driving. I’m not worried about her at all. It’s the lack of control and issues with other drivers that concerns me. This is part of growing up and being independent but it scares me so much.

She knows not to text and drive. She knows not to play the radio too loudly. She’s very cautious. She tells me some of her friends are reckless. She mentions an acquaintance who got a big ticket for texting at a red traffic light.

She knows what to do and what not to do.

Everytime I get behind the wheel, I’m teaching my kids about quick decisions, defensive driving, road conditions, and who is breaking the driving rules.

Driver’s Ed Resources

  • Driver’s Ed Requirements by State
  • Student Driver Printable Sign
  • Driver Ed in a Box–complete parent/teen driver training program for both classroom and in-vehicle phases offered by Driver Education Supplies & Training. The program provides parents with educational materials and training tools necessary to train their teens to be safe, collision-free drivers.
  • Driver-ZED–Full-screen, full-motion, real-life interactive video puts you in the driver’s seat! You’ll use your eyes and brain to spot trouble before it happens. Spot all the risks and handle them right, and you’ll score a perfect 100.
  • National Driver Training Institute–Comprehensive, step-by-step curriculum will guide you through all phases of driver education and training with the goal of “creating safe drivers for life.”

*You can get discounts off insurance or tax credits for driving courses and good grades.

Some driving statistics:

According to the University of Colorado-Colorado Springs survey, for every 100 students using NDTI’s parent-taught driver education program:

  • 8 were ticketed for speeding,
  • 8 were involved in accidents,
  • 6 were injured in automobile accidents,
  • 1 was ticketed for driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs, and
  • there were no fatalities.

With teens obtaining driver’s licenses during the summer more than any other season and an average of six teens dying every day from motor vehicle injuries, the personal-finance website WalletHub today released its report on 2018’s Best & Worst States for Teen Drivers.

In order to determine the safest and least costly driving environments for U.S. teenagers, WalletHub compared the 50 states based on 23 key metrics. The data set ranges from number of teen driver fatalities to average cost of car repairs to presence of impaired-driving laws.

Best States for Teen DriversWorst States for Teen Drivers
1New York41Arizona
2Washington42Alabama
3Maryland43Mississippi
4Illinois44Idaho
5Delaware45North Dakota
6Louisiana46Nebraska
7Oregon47Missouri
8California48Montana
9Hawaii49South Dakota
10Texas50Wyoming

Best vs. Worst

  • Vermont has the fewest teen driver fatalities per 100,000 teens, 1.83, which is 10.5 times fewer than in Wyoming, the state with the most at 19.30.
  • Nebraska has the lowest share of major roads in poor condition, 5.00 percent, which is 8.8 times lower than in Connecticut, the state with the highest at 44.00 percent.
  • Hawaii has the lowest premium increase after adding a teen driver to a parent’s auto-insurance policy, 8.10 percent, which is 18.9 times lower than in Rhode Island, the state with the highest at 152.70 percent.
  • Alaska has the fewest vehicle miles traveled per capita, 6,826, which is 2.4 times fewer than in Wyoming, the state with the most at 16,457.

Please view the full report and your state’s rank here.

How did you learn to drive as a teen? How do you teach your teens to drive?

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How Teens Can Spend Summer

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School’s out and summer’s here.

Most teens are in limbo between childhood and adulthood…they might want to just hole up in their rooms and spend all their time on social media.

There are plenty of opportunities for teens to continue learning, get job training, and have fun during summer.

Here’s a list of the top ten ways that teens can spend time this summer:

Explore the Great Outdoors

With flourishing trees and fully blossomed flowers, it’s arguable that nature reaches its peak in the summer.  Getting outside and exploring its beauty is best done by taking the time to walk through and embrace it. You can even make a multi-day adventure out of hiking by pitching a tent with a few friends or family. Camping is an excellent way to take advantage of the cool summer nights and maximize your time enjoying the country’s wildlife. From dazzling beaches to soaring mountains, dense forests to vast plains, the U.S. is full of beauty calling for you to explore. The National Park Service has some handy resources for locating parks and trails near you.

Escape the Heat and Take a Dip

In most areas of the country, the weather is only suitable for swimming for a short period of time. Take advantage of the warmth and sunshine by going for a dip in the oceans, rivers, lakes, swimming pools, water parks or whatever you have access to in your area. There is nothing more refreshing than wading in the water on a hot summer day. With so many public access points at most bodies of water, there is no reason not to visit the thousands of water-spots in the country.

Become an Expert on History and Culture

Museums act as a window into places separated by time and location. They provide the tools to educate people on the history of our predecessors and the world’s intercultural development through the ages. From instructive science exhibits to experiential art displays, museums have a lot to offer for those with an open mind and a will to learn. Make a day trip to a local museum or plan a vacation around seeing multiple exhibits across the country. If you’re on a tight budget, do not fret. There are loads of free museums just a google search away. Check out National Geographic’s list of 20 free U.S. museums that are worth checking out.

Witness the World’s Wildlife

America is home to some of the best zoos and aquariums in the world. When looking into visiting a zoo or aquarium, you must consider the quality of the establishment. It is no secret that sometimes these institutions do not uphold the best treatment for animals. Despite the negligent ones, there are several zoos that do a great job caring for their animals. Read more about how to identify a good zoo.

Once you weed out the bad zoos and aquariums in your own research, there is an immense amount that society can take away from the high quality ones. They help conserve the extensive list of species at risk of becoming extinct, provide an outlet for scientists and animal-life experts to conduct research, and educate the public about our planet’s wildlife. Something to note is that if you research different zoos and aquariums in advance, you will most likely find some limited edition exhibits that pique your interest, so start planning today.

Earn Some Cash and Build Your Resume

With all of the spare time in the summer, getting a part-time job can never hurt. Whether you are saving up for college or earning some money to help fund your summer excursions, it is no doubt that the three-month break from school is a wonderful opportunity to earn some extra cash.  Aside from the financial aspect of getting a job, it is never too early to start gaining work experience. There is something to learn from any job you have, no matter how simple it may seem. Some examples of part-time jobs good for high school students include lifeguarding, working as a cashier, host/hostessing at a restaurant, or being a camp counselor.

If you already have a pretty firm grasp on what you want to study in your post-secondary studies, the summer is perfect for seeking opportunities such as internships or specialty camps that provide insight into your desired field of study. When looking for a job later down the line, it may be beneficial to prove to the potential employer that you had an early interest in the field and have several years of experience. Even if you are unsure of your interest, these programs can give you an idea of whether or not it is a profession that you would like to further consider.

Declutter and Dispose with a Garage Sale

Summer break is a time for not only cleansing your mind but for purging unused or unwanted possessions. Whether you’re going off to college in the fall or simply need a fresh start, garage and yard sales are a great way for you to declutter your living space and get rid of those belongings that you haven’t touched in years.

If you’re having trouble getting this project rolling, let the thought of earning a few extra dollars motivate you. All you have to do to start is throw open your attic door, have two boxes labeled “Keep” and “Sell,” and get to sorting. Pick a day that works for you and list your yard sale in the appropriate classified sections of both Craigslist and your local newspaper. People won’t know you’re selling all this great stuff if you don’t advertise the event. Whatever you don’t sell, you can donate to local charities or even friends and family.

Explore Yourself through Self Expression

Ever have a hairstyle or cool outfit you wanted to sport? With three months away from your peers and teachers, it’s your time to explore yourself without fear of judgement. Summer is the perfect opportunity for you to test out new ways of expressing yourself and find out just what it is you have to offer the world. This doesn’t stop at your appearance. With your spare time, you can sign up for a dance class, learn an instrument, stylize your room, join a sports team and so much more. Live your best life this summer and have fun finding yourself.

Visit Places Only Your Imagination Can Take You

During the year, it can be difficult to read for leisure when you’re constantly bombarded with reading assignments at school. This summer, take the time to read something for yourself without any deadlines or papers in the mix. You might be surprised where your imagination takes you and what you can learn from a good book. If you don’t know how to find the right book for you, join a local reading club or check TIME’s list of 100 best books for young adults.

Have Fun on the Fairgrounds

Carnival rides and fair food are the pinnacle of American culture. Each summer, people travel from surrounding towns to go to the nearest fairgrounds and come together for a celebration of life. If you’re on social media, you most likely have seen ferris wheels and funnel cake flood your Instagram feed when the season rolls around. The truth is, it’s usually as fun as the pictures suggest. Many of these fairs offer petting zoos, games, rides and other festivities perfect for a day of fun with your family, friends, or romantic interest. Look up county and state fairs that are happening near you and start planning your visit today.

Put Others Before Yourself

Don’t feel bad if you’re spending your summer focusing on yourself, but if you have the time, you can do some work for others. Completing community service leaves you with a feeling of fulfillment and a sense of achievement. You can always log your hours and add the experience to your resume. If you’re a college-bound teen, volunteering your time is a great way to stand out to college admissions counselors and show them your quality of character. Read more about why volunteering is a key component in the college admissions process.

The opportunities are endless when it comes to deciding how to spend your summer. No matter how you choose to spend it, the important part is that you have fun and stay safe. Be proactive and make the most of your time this summer.

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Learning to Let Go

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With a new year comes evaluation, changes, praise, regret, resolution.

Perhaps these are amplified for the homeschool mom. I sure feel the weight of responsibility on my shoulders constantly.

And even moreso for the homeschool mom of a teenager.

Teens have a way of putting you in your place, don’t they?

We’ve spent the last few months tapering back, evaluating priorities, setting goals, discussing plans for success. It’s time to simplify.

My daughter was fired from her piano lessons. Her teacher called me and gave me no notice that lessons would not continue. Nice. Apparently, theory hadn’t been completed in a month and practicing had been scarce to none. She needed to cut her client list and my daughter was at the top of that list. Ouch.

Way to feel inferior as a mom.

I should’ve been checking and encouraging, nagging about practicing and the homework, right?

But it’s not my piano lesson. It’s her responsibility.

While reviewing curriculum for the blog is a blessing for our family, it also causes upheaval for a time to see if this or that is a good fit or is fun or works better than that other one. Often, changing midstride is necessary if something doesn’t work. Sometimes it’s hard to make the call. Is it too difficult? Is the child just being stubborn? Does it not fit our learning or teaching style? I’ve struggled over the years with making changes and wasting time and money on curriculum that doesn’t work for us. But it’s also great to have the freedom to choose what works best for us. We seldom do reviews now and we’ve settled into a good routine.

Homeschooling and having my four children home with me all the time gives me a better glimpse into their needs, desires, personalities, preferences. I have a better idea of how to guide them since I’m with them all the time and see the dynamics of their interactions.

It’s my job to be proactive and recognize when their needs change and how I should adapt.

As children grow up, relationships and responsibilites change.

I’m still set on mothering toddlers, young children, tweens…and suddenly, I’m stuck with this woman-girl and I’m at a loss as to what to do with her.

Me, who had no qualms as a high school English teacher, standing toe to toe with burly high school football players and telling them what for.

This girl with her flashing eyes undoes me.

I expect more from a 17-year-old than an 11-year-old than a 3-year-old. Yes, it sucks to not be able to play all the time. Being a responsible citizen is sometimes tiresome and I would rather lie around and read novels than do dishes, laundry, or pay bills. It’s my job to be positive and proactive and teach my teen daughter these things are better done quickly and cheerfully. Work before play. I must lead by example.

My attitude matters.

There were a couple difficult years in the teens when I doubted everything.

I’ve learned that my eldest daughter gets rather run down without one on one time with me. She needs to be away from her younger siblings to recharge once in a while. I need to be intentional about making this happen more. She’s very social but gets easily overwhelmed. My middle girl needs lots of exercise and outside time to blow off steam and she gets very tired in the evenings, so we try to get book work finished early. My youngest girl is a free spirit and it’s heartwarming to watch her explore and create. My son is so compassionate and thoughtful of others and I pray that is never compromised by this cruel world.

It will be proactive to help our household be more stable too in any way I can. Despite moving every few years.

I’ve watched them blossom and grow and become so independent, but they still ask what I think, what should she do.

My eldest just began college and got a part-time job!

It’s a delicate balance, this granting little freedoms with open hands. While wanting to clench the fingers into tight fists. All the while, praying.

My eldest has an iron will. I know it will serve her well in the future.

The Holy Spirit can mold them to His will and they will do great and wonderful things for the Kingdom.


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5 Best Life Skills Books for Teens

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We try to prepare our kids for the world. We get through all the academics. We take them to sports, dance, music lessons, chess club. We do the field trips. Sometimes, it seems like certain skills slip through the cracks.

Life skills are important. I don’t want my kids let loose in the world without some proper basics.

Sometimes, books are the best teacher. Sure, you can learn really everything on YouTube and other Internet sites, but having some reference material is always a good idea.

These make great graduation gifts too!

My top five life skills books for teens:

  1. A Good Cookbook

    My suggestion: Better Homes and Gardens New Cook Book

    Since 1930, home cooks have turned to Better Homes and Gardens New Cook Book for guidance in the kitchen. This new edition includes more than 1,200 recipes, 1,000 color photos, and more tips and how-to information than ever. Teens and young adults need to know more than how to make a box of mac and cheese! I still have my grandmother’s copy!

  2. An Etiquette Book

    My suggestion: How Rude!: The Teen Guide to Good Manners, Proper Behavior, and Not Grossing People Out by Alex J. Packer

    In 480 pages, this edition describes the basics of polite behavior in all kinds of situations at home, in school, online, and in the world. I grew up with Emily Post and Miss Manners. This approach might be more interesting!

  3. A Leadership Book

    My suggestion: The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens by Sean Covey

    Imagine you had a roadmap—a step-by-step guide to help you get from where you are now, to where you want to be in the future. Your goals, your dreams, your plans…they are all within reach. You just need the tools to help you get there. This is just a great leadership book with words of wisdom.

  4. A Health Book

    My suggestions for GIRLS:

    Cycle Savvy: The Smart Teen’s Guide to the Mysteries of Her Body by Toni Weschler

    Answers that will help you understand what is really happening with your body on a day-to-day basis. It’s the first book specifically designed to teach young women about the practical benefits of charting their cycles. Explore the fascinating world of ovulation, fertility, and why you even have periods at all! And learn all about the body signals, mood changes, and other signs that accompany your cycle. This book was recommended to us by a doula friend of mine and it is wonderful!

    Girling Up: How to Be Strong, Smart and Spectacular by Mayim Bialik

    Growing up as a girl in today’s world is no easy task. Juggling family, friends, romantic relationships, social interests and school…sometimes it feels like you might need to be a superhero to get through it all! But really, all you need is little information.

    Want to know why your stomach does a flip-flop when you run into your crush in the hallway? Or how the food you put in your body now will affect you in the future? What about the best ways to stop freaking out about your next math test?

    Using scientific facts, personal anecdotes, and wisdom gained from the world around us, Mayim Bialik, the star of The Big Bang Theory, shares what she has learned from her life and her many years studying neuroscience to tell you how you grow from a girl to a woman biologically, psychologically and sociologically.

    And as an added bonus, Girling Up is chock-full of charts, graphs and illustrations — all designed in a soft gray to set them apart from the main text and make them easy to find and read.

    Want to be strong? Want to be smart? Want to be spectacular? You can! Start by reading this book.

    My suggestion for BOYS (reader recommendation!): Lintball Leo’s Not-So-Stupid Questions About Your Body by Walt Larimore, MD 

    “Everything a boy should know, but won’t ask!” Finally, everything you wanted to know about your body, but you’ve just been too chicken to ask. This is the first book for boys that gives honest answers to real questions about your body from a biblical perspective. No, you’re not falling apart—you’re just growing up! But there’s no need to fear, when Lintball Leo is near. He’s your personal guide to understanding your body. With information about everything from steroid use to body parts, there’s not a question Lintball Leo hasn’t heard. These aren’t questions some adult made up, but they’re real questions asked by real boys just like you. You want to know the truth? Now you can, because Lintball Leo’s Not–So-Stupid Questions About Your Body gives you the facts—no holds barred! I plan to get this for my son real soon.

    Another reader recommendation for boys:

    Guy Stuff: The Body Book for Boys by Cara Natterson

    This book will provide you with the answers that will help you take care of yourself better, from hair care to healthy eating, bad breath to shaving, acne to voice changes, and everything in between. With tips, how-tos, and facts from a real pediatrician, it’s the perfect book to help you learn about your body’s changes.

    Just released!

    Boying Up: How to Be Brave, Bold and Brilliant by Mayim Bialik

    Why does my voice crack like that? What should I eat to build muscle? How do I talk to someone I have a crush on? What do I do if someone calls me names or bullies me?

    Growing from a boy to a man is no easy task. Bodies are changing, social circles are evolving, hair is appearing in places it never was before — and on top of it all, there’s the ever-present pressure to conform to the typical idea of what it means to be “manly” and masculine. But it’s easier to do if you’re armed with facts.

    Using personal anecdotes as an overly observant mother of two boys and plenty of scientific information from her life as a neuroscientist, Mayim Bialik, PhD, star of The Big Bang Theory, talks directly to teen boys about what it means to grow from a boy to a man biologically, psychologically, and sociologically. Using the same cool, fun, and friendly tone that she took in Girling Up, Mayim takes boys–and their parents!–through the challenges and triumphs of Boying Up today.

    In six sections (How Boys Bodies Work; How Boys Grow; How Boys Learn; How Boys Cope; How Boys Love; and How Boys Make a Difference), she takes a look at what it means for boys to come of age in today’s world, how can they take control of their paths, and what can they do to help shape the types of futures they want for themselves.

  5. An Organization Book

    My suggestion: Smart but Scattered Teens: The “Executive Skills” Program for Helping Teens Reach Their Potential by Richard Guare, Peg Dawson, Colin Guare

    This positive guide provides a science-based program for promoting teens’ independence by building their executive skills–the fundamental brain-based abilities needed to get organized, stay focused, and control impulses and emotions. It’s great to work through together! This book is helpful to set up organization methods for teens to be independent.

Do you have any other favorite books for teens or life skills?

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Sweet Sixteen

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A letter to my firstborn.

It’s been sixteen years.

Ups and downs. Thrills and disappointments for both of us. Moments of intense pride and utter sorrow. A roller coaster of emotions and experiences.

You were my easiest and quickest birth. You were born on your due date!

And while I wouldn’t trade in any of it for anything,

I wish I could go back and do some things differently:

I wish I had eaten better when I was pregnant with you. I survived on Carnation Instant Breakfast drinks, grilled cheese sandwiches, fish sticks, and frozen French fries.

I should have made the effort to breastfeed you longer. I had 12 weeks off from work, but I weaned you onto formula sooner than I had to, and you liked it better, so I convinced myself it was the right thing. Since it was easy.

I  listened too much to all the noise. From family members, friends, co-workers, magazines, TV shows, then later, from the Internet with its articles and blogs. I wish I had just silenced it all to do what I felt in my heart was best for you, for us.

Sometimes, I’m sad that you don’t know your birth father or his family. I regret some of the choices he and I made and that you’ve suffered from those.

I was selfish when you were a toddler. I missed out on a lot of you since you attended day care all weeklong, visited your father every other weekend and every other holiday, while I was so busy pursuing a career that fizzled and relationships that were toxic.

I wish I had listened more when you were very young. So many drastic changes occurred during that pivotal time of 5-8 years old. A new stepdad, two new sisters, new home far away from family and friends, and beginning homeschooling. It was stressful and I didn’t support you enough.

I regret listening to doctors when you were 8. We tried ADHD meds and even public school for a month. Diet and lifestyle changes helped more.

I also regret the legalistic churches we attended at that time. Their teachings for parenting were wrong.

I should have focused more on relationship rather than stuff. We’re prioritizing better now.

I’m glad that:

We homeschooled you (except for preschool and that one horrendous month of third grade). We’ve had a lot of fun with some really cool experiences.

We’ve had the opportunity to live in Hawaii and Germany and travel all over Europe.

You love to read.

I’ve gotten to watch you perform – at piano, singing and dancing and acting on stage.

We have great conversations about life, education, theology, pop culture, and everything in between.

sweet-sixteen

Happy Birthday!

Sixteen is a fabulous age to be, but also one of the hardest.

The culmination of childhood.

Many expect you to be an adult, but society doesn’t quite accept you as an adult yet.

Your academic education is mostly completed, but requirements for university loom large and cause so much stress.

You’re learning to balance the expectations of society with who you are.

Don’t ever lose yourself.

I love who you’re becoming.

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Obedience in a Bottle

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My teen daughter probably would be labeled all sorts of letters if she attended school. We prefer to manage any potential issues without medication.

Liz is often difficult when she wants to be.  Most days, we get along well — with only a few squinty stares as she weighs a decision whether to obey.

What Does Stubborn Look Like?

I often struggle to successfully motivate and teach her while remaining unemotional and objective. I do know that she sometimes feels triumphant when I lose it over not being able to “control” her. She knows how to push all the buttons.

She is stubborn. Like, sit at the table for three hours, staring at one math page, refusing to pick up a pencil, stubborn.

Nothing we say or do seems to matter at these times.

Changing Behavior

My husband gets increasingly frustrated with not making any progress in prompting Liz to cooperate.

He finally turned to our oil table on a particularly difficult Saturday morning when we had hoped to have Liz quickly complete some school work before we all head outdoors for some fun. And she decided to be stubborn.

We had just ordered a Potential blend in our monthly essential oil shipment. We had purchased a Humble blend after testing it and liking it – and and we had used it before with great success.

He took both those bottles and dripped some of each into his palm and anointed her head.

Humble Blend + Potential Blend + Progesterone =

Obedience in a Bottle

Obedience in a Bottle | https://www.jenniferalambert.com/

While we don’t prescribe to blind obedience in our parenting methods, we do sometimes have to take more drastic measures to communicate to our children our desires, or override their potential poor choices. We have to coach and teach and model self-control. When stubbornness and stand-offs occur, we often take a step back to evaluate and look to natural methods like essential oils or massage to help ease the situation.

The Effects

Within a few minutes, Liz had gotten dressed, become amazingly more agreeable, and was working diligently on her math assignment.

We stood back in awe.

She completed her math more cheerfully than ever before. The rest of the day, she was compliant and good-natured.

It was really weird, y’all.

Natural Progesterone

We have encouraged Liz for several months to use a natural, plant-based Progesterone before bed. Our daughter does not use this regularly. We understand that hormone therapy is very sensitive stuff. She uses only a drop or two a couple evenings each month.

The Progesterone has helped to maintain balance with her changing hormones. We saw improvement in her mood steadily with essential oil use. Super helpful during this tumultuous time of being a fourteen-year-old girl!

I also like to use the Progesterone for a few days out of every month. I recognize when my body needs it now.

We also got labs completed to rule out any physical issues. Her vitamin D and iron levels were extremely low. Her cortisol levels were also very low, but the doctors assure us she will grow out of that. We upped the supplements and changed her diet and got a happy funshine lamp. Within a few months, her mood is much more even and she doesn’t feel so tired anymore. The endocrinologist visits were very helpful to rule out any issues, problems, and set our minds at ease. We all eat whole foods, so diet is not an issue.

We do not recommend playing with hormones without professional guidance.

My husband and I are quite amazed by how quickly the oils help us with all sorts of situations. While we use the oils frequently and for various reasons, we are constantly surprised by new methods and successes.

Why did these particular oils help?

We Need to Learn Humility

What is in the Humble essential oil blend?

  • Rosewood (Aniba rosaeodora)
  • Ylang Ylang (Cananga odorata)
  • Geranium (Pelargonium graveolens)
  • Melissa (Melissa officinalis)
  • Frankincense (Boswellia carteri)
  • Spikenard (Nardostachys jatamansi)
  • Myrrh (Commiphora myrrha)
  • Rose (Rosa damascena)
  • Neroli (Citrus aurantium)

If My people, who are called by My name, shall humble themselves, pray, seek, crave, and require of necessity My face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven, forgive their sin, and heal their land. 2 Chronicles 7:14 AMP

We Need to Reach Our Potential

What will you find in the Potential essential oil blend?

  • Cypress (Callitrus intratropica)
  • Ylang ylang (Cananga odorata)
  • Cedarwood (Cedrus atlantica)
  • Tansy (Tanacetum annuum)
  • Fir (Abies concolor)
  • Galbanum (Ferula gummosa)
  • Frankincense (Boswellia carteri)
  • Sandalwood (Santalum album)
  • Lavender (Lavandula angustifolia)
  • Cinnamon (Cinnamomum verum)
  • Rose (Rosa damascena)
  • Spruce (Picea mariana)
  • Geranium (Pelargonium graveolens)
  • Jasmine (jasminum officinale)

Essential Oils can be Effective Parenting Tools

These essential oils (among many others!) are great parenting tools.

We hesitate to use the word obedience, but sometimes, we do want to firmly guide kids in a certain direction while keeping communication open and modeling self-control.

We encourage our children to work through their fleshly and sinful natures and to practice better behaviors, to develop self-control. We pray and discuss the behaviors that honor God and that we desire them to exhibit as they grow to adulthood. We don’t use rewards or punishments. We expect intrinsic motivation.

Essential oils are great tools to help us encourage the desired character we want exhibited in our children. I love that we can use oils, combined with prayer and the Word of God,  to help us achieve our family goals.

We try to focus on respectful parenting. We don’t use punishments and rewards. We don’t bully, coerce, or physically restrain our kids. We use our words calmly and reason with our children about expectations, needs, and desires. We listen. We explain. We teach and coach. There are occasional battles of wills and it’s not about winning. It’s about communication and relationship. Love is more important than getting one’s way. We have to shift our focus and figure out what’s really important. Some issues are non-negotiable.

Check out my favorite resource list here!

And the following are also valuable tools when used respectfully with kids:

Also see my Parenting and Leadership Pinterest boards.

Linking up: Blooming Homestead, The 36th Avenue, Mind Body Sole

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Homeschool Planner

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The kids are finishing up curriculum and January is typically when we evaluate our successes and whether we need a change.

We tend to follow a calendar year rather than a fiscal or traditional school year.

I realize that my teen needs some direction for time management and must learn to keep a time budget for herself so she can stay on track with her school assignments and not get further behind.

I have some great planning printables on my Pinterest board, but I realize that some of them aren’t exactly what we need.

There are some great calendars and planners for sale all over the Internet but they’re not exactly what we need either and I’ve been so disappointed when I’ve purchased them in the past and they didn’t work well for us.

We made our own student planner.

Here’s what we found and put together for the perfect planner.

A pretty cover.

We love this neato zebra cover page that’s just perfect (she has oodles to choose from).

Goal-setting pages.

Since I’m raising servant leaders, we need goals. I love these free printable goal-planning pages.

I plan to take some time after our holiday to discuss goals with my kids. She can have these planning pages to refer to throughout the year and make sure she stays on track. I think this would be a great motivational tool so she will complete her work.

Calendar pages.

I love the colors for these monthly calendar pages! 

And I printed some pretty weekly planning pages to help Liz keep track of her school and extracurricular schedule. I saved them ages ago and have no idea where I got them.

Assignments pages.

I designed some weekly assignment planning pages of our own. There are some really beautiful pages out there, but I need simple, lots of room to write in assignments, checklists, and no bells or whistles to distract. Download our simple student pages below.

As we complete her planner and get all the pages printed for the rest of the year, I will comb bind it and help her fill it out and coach her to keep track every day.

What I’m not including:

  • cutesy journal pages
  • artsy freestyle pages
  • Bible study journals

I saw oodles of these pretty pages to print, but I just know it would end in disaster if I included these in this planner. They would distract the girls and take the focus off time management. They would waste lots of time playing with filling in the blanks and doodling rather than completing and checking off appointments and assignments.

I have an art journal and a great Bible study for teen girls as part of regular homeschool work.

I pray that this pretty new planner will help Liz with time management this year!

I also like this blog planner for me.

Subscribe to the blog and download our student planning pages:

 

The #1 Writing Tool

 

 

 

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Shepherding Teens

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When I was pregnant with our third child, my husband asked me in bewilderment, “How will we do bedtime?”

At the time it seemed to me a ridiculously silly question.

“We’ll just do it,” I thought, exasperated.

As parents, we sometimes do what we must to survive.

I soon realized that having more than one child was hard. I envied the families with only children. I also had no idea how large families did anything well.

And I’ve never considered ours a large family.

Until we moved to Germany.

We stand out here in Europe among the families of single kids or perfect pairs. The parents aren’t outnumbered. They can drive small cars with four seats. They don’t have to wait forever at restaurants to be seated. They’re mathematically correct.

Now, with a thirteen-year-old, eight-year-old, seven-year-old, and four-year-old, it does seem like a legitimate concern. How do I do bedtime well? How do I divide my time and mothering well?

A few harried years went by with rushed bedtimes. Rushed baths. Rushed prayers. Rushed affection. Exhausted, ready to be done with the day, and still facing the destruction of a kitchen well-used every night.

I traded a relationship with my children at bedtime for me time.

The eldest child often went unheeded as I rocked the baby and Dad prayed with the girls. Night after night. Not every night, but too many. I dreaded the never-ending chores of cleaning up and just wanted to collapse into writing or reading or sleep.

Teens are just as needy as toddlers.

Perhaps needier.

I missed out on many bedtime conversations and prayers and opportunities for heart training and answering difficult questions.

Because I was exhausted.

Or thought I was.

I’d read all the right books (and many wrong ones!) about parenting, shepherding and training hearts, but all those words won’t substitute for the proactive parent relationship a child needs.

It took near disaster to wake us up to how much we are needed as the parents of a teen. To pray for the reversal of damage. To pray for redemption of time and the experiences that we missed. To pray for improvement in our family relationships.

We were living on the surface.

We lived superficially instead of getting at the marrow of life. We were in the wings, instead of actively directing and counseling. We were focused on all the wrong things.

Every day was an uphill battle as defiance reigned and I was ready to just give up.

I almost lost her.

Then a not-so-gentle nudge from God.

Pray.

I’m not a prayer warrior. It’s not my nature. I wasn’t raised to this. We’re not a hymn-singing, Bible-quoting, tract-giving family. We don’t spend hours on Bible study or scripture reading every morning. Maybe we should do some things differently.

Such a simple thing, really–to pray earnestly for and with this child. This child so different from myself. Despite the hard days, the mean looks, the saucy attitude. This child whom I have seen withering away and growing cold and distant is now blossoming again with the nourishment of relationship she needs and now receives that she didn’t know how to ask for.

I know that God can redeem that lost time and restore this relationship. He is a God of reconciliation. He reminds me of the good memories we shared and the knowledge that we can make more good memories. I look forward to the future as it unfolds in excitement and anticipation and opportunity.

It’s not always a matter of good or bad parenting. Kids eventually make their own choices. They’re too often stuck in the middle. I can actively pray for and with my daughter and know it’s in God’s hands.

And I will love her no matter what.

 

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The Dirty Dozen Apps

Teaching Self-Control

Teaching Kindness

Teaching Diversity

5 Best Books for Teen Life Skills

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I Almost Lost Her

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We all know the tween years are tough.

It doesn’t matter the kind of school: public, private, homeschool.

It’s hard with the pressures from the outside and the changes on the inside.

I feel like those were the lost years. Literally.

I am just now realizing how close I came to almost losing my daughter.

She’s thirteen and half now and I see my little girl peeking through again lately. She laughs and is silly and her eyes twinkle again. She’s growing up and she’s super smart and the past is now a fading shadow.

For several years, she was buried down deep.

She had rough beginnings, torn between two households every other weekend and most holidays. Then, being uprooted and traveling where the Air Force sends us, homeschooling, three siblings, more responsibility than she should have for one so young.

I relied too heavily on her as my support. She was more to me than just a mother’s helper. I had no one else but her.

Having three babies and no family or friends, I expected her to help more than she should. She was too willing and able and I am ever grateful to her, but I wish I could have those years back for her.

She lost part of her childhood.

She did her schooling very independently for a couple years. I was busy, busy, busy with a baby and two toddlers. She liked playing computer games. I was a lazy mother with her, thinking she was fine, that she was doing well. I was so stressed and barely hanging on.

We were in survival mode.

When I asked her about some things, she fought me and dug her heels in. She became quiet and aloof. She didn’t want to eat. She was irritable. She was depressed.

Her Latin assignments weren’t completed and most lessons were done poorly. We started over but then mostly she gave up. She got “fired” from piano class for not completing the lessons or practicing. She refused to complete science experiments. She lost interest in many things she used to love.

I didn’t know what was wrong or what to do.

No one tells you that those computer parenting controls and services often don’t monitor chats or instant messaging.

(At least the service we had then did nothing to block Yahoo Messenger.)

For her protection and privacy, I won’t go into details.

Two months can cause damage that lasts years.

The ripples affected too much.

Predators are everywhere and this is why our children have no social media and we very, very closely monitor email and all online activity. Computers stay in the main rooms with screens facing out so I can see – at all times. Emails are filtered through our accounts. My husband receives every single email and can preview them. Chat and messaging are disabled.

We always said it wouldn’t happen to us. We were so diligent. We checked histories and installed parental control programs. We had Internet contracts and talked openly about dangers online.

I almost lost her.

We didn’t go to counseling. We didn’t involve our church or the FBI. We probably handled the whole thing really poorly and made it worse. But I don’t think we overreacted. We put our electronics on lockdown. Settings are restricted and long complicated passwords block the kids from making changes on their iPads. We blocked YouTube completely.

God can and will redeem those lost months. I am gradually rebuilding my relationship with my daughter. She is reemerging a lovely young lady who delights in so much like she used to. She’s healing and moving on. We all are.

I love seeing my daughter again. I missed her so much.

We’re still in a battle for her soul. Please pray.

We are very concerned about G+ communities.  Just doing an innocent search of “teen” and up pops all sorts of porn communities where teens are sucked into an ugly, evil world. Too many apps have potential for misuse. And I don’t think it’s right to allow children under age 13 to have social media accounts. Who cares if their peers don’t think they’re cool?

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