My Priority

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December 11, 2014 By Jennifer Lambert 3 Comments

So, I have friends who are well into their 30s, 40s, 50s, – some with one or two kids and some without any kids and some with grown children. And others with part-time kids (they’re a stepparent).

The majority chooses to send their kids to public school. This is the expected norm. I get that. I know I swim upstream.

I don’t ask questions about lifestyle choices. I don’t pry. I don’t make snide remarks. I don’t say my way is best for you.

Why do you feel the right to make snarky comments to me because I choose to have four children? In my home. Every day. All day. Homeschooling. Working from home. Every day.

I have different priorities. My priorities have changed over the years. I’ve been refined.

I realize what’s important for me.

I’m tired of explaining that “I don’t have time” doesn’t always mean that I literally have every second of my life accounted for, but rather that “This isn’t a priority for me” or “I’m giving as much of myself as I’m able to right now.”

I’m also tired of explaining that “I don’t have the money” doesn’t always mean that I literally have every penny accounted for, but rather that “This or that isn’t a priority” or “I’m spending as much as I desire at this time.”

My Priority - I have different priorities. My priorities have changed over the years. I’ve been refined. I realize what’s important for me.

Things I Don’t Do

No, I don’t want to find a babysitter so I can go to the coffee at 10:30 in the morning and listen to the little wifeys complain about commanders who don’t like their husbands or landlords who don’t do what they want and when and the culture differences that they don’t like since we live in Germany – or Utah – or Hawaii.

No, I don’t want to go to the girls night out when I could be at home with a healthy homemade meal and listening to my kids laugh over games or arts and crafts. My husband leaves for work before I wake and gets home at dinnertime. We like to spend a couple hours together before exhaustion overcomes us. I don’t want to miss that nightly read aloud time or Bible stories before the sweet bedtime prayers, then all the jumbles of snuggles, kisses, and hugs that almost physically hurt when four growing bodies pile on my aging, aching, sagging (squishy) one – but it fills my heart to bursting.

No, I don’t want to go shopping with you. We have all that we need and opening up my mind and heart to commercial temptation isn’t what I want to do. I don’t need retail therapy. Shopping is not entertainment for me. I have more than I need and I’m diligently working on downsizing, organizing, and simplifying. I don’t watch the sales. When I need or really want something, I buy it online or I go directly to pick that one item up (if I know it’s available locally).

No, I don’t want to join whatever club, extracurricular activity, or even church group that will further send any of us out of the house an extra night a week when we prefer to just be home together. I understand many perceive Scouts, AWANA, and other organizations are great. I don’t do scrapbooking or crafts. And I’m sure they are great for you. I just don’t want our family run ragged as we compete for participating in the most activities. We have peace. We’ve done it and the stress wasn’t worth it. We like to have meals and bedtime routines at home, together as a family.

No, I don’t want to watch your kids. Just no. I have enough responsibilities with my family – and being home all day, every day doesn’t mean I’m lonely and bored. I am working and teaching. I’m sorry you have so many engagements where your kids aren’t welcome. It should not be described as a play date either, when you need to get rid of your kid to get your nails done. I turn down many important invitations because my kids come first.

Their childhoods are short. Perhaps, there will be time for me to play on the other side. For now, my priority is discipling and developing relationships with my four children. I joyfully sacrifice for them.

I don’t want to have regrets about what I missed out on when the kids are all grown up. I want them to have good memories of Mommy being available and not running off all the time, leaving them alone or with babysitters. I want to cherish this time.

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Being Still

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June 19, 2014 By Jennifer Lambert 1 Comment

Being without a phone, Internet, mobile, my minivan, or a washer and dryer makes one reevaluate what’s really important.

Obviously, it’s not laundry.

So, while I refuse to walk past that basket with the growing mounds of laundry eagerly awaiting the delivery of our washer and dryer…

I spend more time:

really listening to my children as they prattle on
reading to my children and discussing
making healthy meals from scratch (We don’t have a microwave! yay!)
going on walks and hikes to explore our new home
helping the kids with their chores (it goes much more quickly with many hands)
teaching Bible lessons every morning
singing while Liz plays piano
listening to the birds outside my window
taking the kids to the backerei on the corner and letting them pick out something new and fun and delicious
having homemade ice cream with coffee

This summer is teaching me many lessons in being still and patient and present with my babies. Being stuck in hotels and living out of suitcases for a couple months and then having no vehicle or even the ability to drive – being without the luxuries we come to expect as convenient is helping me slow down and appreciate my family more.

We purged a great deal before we moved and we’re realizing as we can’t find a place for some things that we don’t really need them that much.

I plan to continue with these positive changes after we get more organized and back on the grid. I refuse to let my mobile phone or the Internet control me like it once did.

I will be present for my family and only use the computer and phone during set office hours.

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31 Days of Servant Leadership: Truth

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October 16, 2013 By Jennifer Lambert 2 Comments

What is truth?

Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies. ~Philippians 4:8 The Message

Do you too often listen to lies – from society, the voices in our heads, from even other Christians?

Next week, I travel across the country to attend Allume.

This week, especially today…I am overwhelmed. Worried over forgetting to finish something before I leave. Wondering how I will fit everything I want to bring there and back and hoping I don’t forget anything important. Stressing about the blog posts I have yet to write or schedule. Anxious about my babies who want to come with me and wondering how they’ll do school with Dad. Concerned about all that I might miss while not here (control freak!). Trying to let it go that Dad can’t do their hair right. Praying no one gets sick (including me!) and everything goes smoothly, that there are no injuries, and the weather is nice on both sides of the country. I don’t have time to have anxiety about the conference, see?

But, what is truth?

Truth is when my eyes are opened to the needs of my family. Truth is when God whispers and I listen to Him instead of the shouting doubtful voices in my head. Truth is when I realize my selfishness is affecting the harmony of my family.

Servant leadership is about service before self (more on that next week).

Truth? I’ve been neglecting our homeschool. I’ve been neglecting our chore schedule. I’ve been neglecting our meal plan.

I’ve struggled with me, me, me. What example am I setting for my children?

I need to exhibit servant leadership if I am going to teach it to my babies. I have to be their model, their example. I tell Elizabeth that her siblings look to her for how they should act, look, answer and she needs to be diligent to be a good example for them to follow. How much more should I be a good example to all of them?

It’s easy to procrastinate lessons and meal planning and cleaning when there’s no one checking. My husband is gracious to seldom complain. I am the big complainer! When selfishness takes over, I play the martyr.

I have to examine my worldview. I have to focus on my calling to be a mother and homeschool teacher. I have to be more diligent to manage my household well.

Bombarded with lies from the world and the compromised Christian community, both of which tell me to take more time for myself, even at the expense of my family. It’s all about self-esteem, feeling good, looking good, prosperity, what others think, comparison.

No.

So, after this series, the blog is on hold. I have a couple of reviews to complete, but other than that…a sabbatical, if you will.

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Figuring it Out…

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April 6, 2012 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

I recently had a birthday.

You know, those things that make you reflect on the past and future and the present. I am not ashamed to say that I am 36 years old. I am proud of every wrinkle and blemish in my history (and on my body) that got me here.

God makes all things work together for good, right? All those broken roads led me to where I am right now. That was my wedding song.

So, I’ve been making some small changes lately.

Some people have questioned me: am I going through a mid-life crisis or something?

I think they are just improvements, or something to the effect of becoming the butterfly I was meant to be.

I am not changing who I am. I am just finally figuring it out.

I recently dyed my hair reddish blonde.

Part of that is because my husband commented that he liked a woman’s hair color in a restaurant a few weeks ago.

He rarely compliments me, so I think that’s the insecurity still peeking through. But I’ve always loved red hair and mine was in sore need of a change. I used to have gorgeous blonde highlights, but I haven’t colored my hair in about three years. It sure needed something. I think I could even go a brighter red next time. That first step was the hardest. I can be daring now!

I’ve been trying to exercise and run and eat less and better.

I’ve lost several pounds!

I think what it is, is that I’m finally starting to feel comfortable with myself. I know I have room to improve and I am taking steps toward who I want to be.

I’m just now starting to feel good about myself after so many years of struggling with…everything. Education? Work? Marriage? Children? Appearance? Spiritual life? Social life? Pulled in so many directions…I often feel like a failure at so much.

I want my kids to look back and remember their mom as a happy and healthy and beautiful lady.

I want to have energy to play with them and make memories. I want to teach them healthy habits. I want them to be independent adults. I have a whole post knocking around about how I finally feel like a (sorta) successful homeschool mom. Just recently started feeling comfortable with wrangling four kids through an educational experience day in and day out.

The other day, I took the kids to the park. I ran with Tori and Katie. I encourage the kids to play outside often, at least daily. We like to eat. We like to cook. We make our own breads, including pizza and English muffins. We make some awesome ice cream, y’all. We can smoke some amazing BBQ. We love soup. We all eat together as a family every day; usually the kids and I have breakfast and lunch together and dad joins us for dinner. Dad’s on duty on weekends! I require everyone to try a little of everything that is served, even if it’s just a tiny bite. I love vegetables and I serve at least two for dinner, and salad almost every night. Fruit is offered for breakfast and lunch. We eat lots of yogurt. It was one of Alex’s first words.

As for spiritual matters, I began reading through the Bible using a 7 day reading plan at New Year’s and I have stuck with it! I’ve gotten behind a few days here and there, but I’ve always caught up and I am on track! I usually read right before bed because that’s when it’s quiet and it helps me wind down for the night. I sure sleep better after I’ve read God’s Word. For the kiddos, we’re currently reviewing a Bible curriculum that I’m pretty excited about. I’ll be posting on that later this month. We needed something more hands on and that included something for all the kids’ levels.

I’m really trying to change my spending habits.

I admit it. I like stuff. But I shop for clothes mostly at thrift and consignment stores. I have cleaned house this last week while Aaron was out of town on business. I donated 5 bags of stuff and sold 4 bags of stuff to consignment, along with several large baby items we no longer need.

I am downsizing the kids’ clothes and toys. Once they outgrow the clothing they have, we’re being very selective in what we purchase. We’re slowly pulling ourselves out of debt. I am trying to differentiate between needs and wants. I want a lot. I know some people who have virtually nothing in their homes. I wonder if they’re happier or just too busy to care. Being home all the time, I want choices. I know we have too many choices.

I sure plan to remove distractions when we move next time. Baby and toddler and preschool items will no longer be needed and we sure have too much of all that. Don’t touch my books. Don’t talk to me about my kitchen tools. I need every. single. one.

So, happy birthday to me.

No crisis. Just improvement. I have a 5k to train for so I can run with the girls on their 2.5k!

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