Jennifer Lambert

A Sacred Balance

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Brushing Up on Our Smiles

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I participated in an Ambassador program on behalf of Influence Central for the TRICARE Dental Program. I received a promotional item to thank me for my participation.

Every new year, I review our family goals, make resolutions, and plan dental appointments for the year.

Doesn’t everybody?

Teeth are important.

We’re learning about teeth in science this week and the kids are all fascinated with how they’re made and whatall they do.

It’s a great time to teach them the importance of taking good care of our teeth and mouths with frequent flossing and brushing and healthy diets.

We love the kids corner and teens corner to brush up on our knowledge about dental care.

Two of my kids will visit the dentist in January. We pray they keep our family record of the past year with no cavities!

I love the convenience of visiting local dentist and oral specialists for our dental care. It’s easy and affordable, and my kids think going to the dentist is fun!

Fun fact: Wisdom teeth extractions are covered by TRICARE for patients between the ages of 15 and 30.

This coverage is considered with a 30% cost share for pay grades E1-E4, and a 40% cost share for pay grades E5 and above. This would be subject to the plan maximum of $1,300. Coverage for extractions outside of the age range can be considered if specific documentation is provided that substantiates the need for removal and is approved.

This is great to know since I have a teen daughter who will surely need this done soon! My husband had his wisdom teeth removed as an adult. I do not recommend waiting. Get it done as soon as a dentist notices the need!

Check out cost shares for dental services and plan premiums.

Another fun fact: December is the National Guard’s birthday – it turns 378!

I have friends and brothers-in-law who are Guard members. Awesome!

December 13, 1636, marks the beginning of organized militia, and the birth of the National Guard’s oldest organized units – symbolic of the founding of all the state, territory, and District of Columbia militias that collectively make up today’s National Guard. More history.

Sign up for the Dental HealthMatters Newsletter to stay updated on new info.

The Defense Health Agency continues to offer a comprehensive dental care
option available for purchase by eligible active duty family members and
National Guard and Reserve members and their families. Effective May 1, 2017,
United Concordia Companies, Inc. (United Concordia) will assume responsibility
for administering the TRICARE Dental Program, replacing the outgoing dental
contractor. Your monthly premium rate will also change and you may
need to find a new dental provider.

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Missing Home at Christmas

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So, we moved to Germany in May. I prayed for a simpler life, a life back to basics.

And we’re mostly happy with the results. We’re focusing on what is important.

We’re simplifying and purging our hearts and home.

An Expat Christmas

What I don’t miss about America:

Malls.

I don’t miss any of the shopping. I am so glad I am not inundated with all the commercialism, except on social media. We have enough. We are learning to be content. We order online if we want anything that we can’t find in stores here.

Competition.

We don’t have anyone to impress. We don’t do Elf on the Shelf. We don’t host family or even friends (since we haven’t made any yet and we live in the boonies). We can create holidays and daily traditions that mean something to our family. We can focus on Christ and family and deal with issues that we have buried too long.

Rushing.

We don’t have to go anywhere, be anywhere. We have no responsibilities or events. It’s refreshing. Previous years we had loads of holiday church events, recitals, appointments. The kids actually miss it just a tiny bit, but I am a little relieved at the slower pace.

What I do sorta miss:

Lights.

Electricity is very expensive here. We used to like to drive around and look at decorations during the holidays. There’s not much of that here. The Christmas markets are really tourist targets and the weather isn’t very conducive to our walking around at night to look at Etsy vomit or Made-in-China garbage.

Mail.

It takes Amazon Prime a couple weeks for shipments to arrive to our APO. Our essential oils orders take about three weeks. Personally shipped items are arbitrary: an envelope could take a week and a box several weeks to arrive. And the base post office has weird hours for when I can retrieve parcels. Several items will probably not arrive on time due to lack of planning on my part.

Potatoes.

The taters here just aren’t the same. They’re sweet or something and not the same as Idaho potatoes. They’re great chopped and fried or roasted, but not so great baked and mashed. I never thought something like this would be missed so much.

I do enjoy seeing many festivities on social media of friends and family. It helps me to feel close to you, whether we’ve met IRL or not.

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TRICARE Dental Program

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I participated in an Ambassador program on behalf of Influence Central for the TRICARE Dental Program. I received a promotional item to thank me for my participation.

I really appreciate the services offered with the TRICARE Dental Program.

We’re a busy homeschool family with four growing kids and the convenience of this dental program works well for our needs. It’s cost effective, worldwide, flexible, and easily accessible.
TRICARE Dental Program

November is National Military Family Appreciation Month. I am proud to serve my family as a military spouse. I take pride in caring for my family’s needs, including ensuring their dental health. I am so fortunate to have such services readily available for my family for just a little extra each month.

TRICARE Dental Program makes it easy for me to make sure my family has healthy teeth and mouths!

You can enroll in the TRICARE Dental Program if you’re a:

  • Family member of an active duty service member
  • Family member of a National Guard/Reserve member
  • National Guard/Reserve Member who isn’t on active duty or covered by the Transitional Assistance Management Program (TAMP) – You get active duty dental benefits if you’re on active duty or covered by TAMP.

The TRICARE Dental Program has many great benefits for military families!

Cost effective:

Families enrolled in the TRICARE Dental Program are eligible for:

  • low cost premiums
  • free annual exams
  • discounts on orthodontist services

The discount on orthodontics was a lifesaver when my eldest daughter needed braces! It would’ve been much, much more money for us without a dental program.

Worldwide:

The plan is conveniently available worldwide in two service areas:

  • CONUS: United States, D.C., Guam, Puerto Rico, and the U.S. Virgin Islands
  • OCONUS: All other locations

I love being able to go to local dentists for services no matter where we’re stationed in the world! We’ve loved our dentists and dental specialists in Georgia, Texas, Hawaii, Utah, and Germany!

Flexible:

The plan provides continuous dental coverage despite changes in life events, geographical locations, or military status.

We don’t have to worry about changing dentists in the electronic age. Our records can be forwarded digitally when we PCS. It’s easy to make appointments when we want. I like the ability to choose a dentist that suits our family’s needs.

Easily accessible:

After you enroll, you can create an account with to:

  • View dental coverage
  • Check a claim
  • View claims history
  • View explanation of benefits
  • Find a dentist
  • File a complaint
  • View frequently asked questions
  • View oral health information
  • Download forms and documents
  • Download the TRICARE Dental Program Benefit Booklet and other materials

I love being able to complete info online without leaving my house! It makes everything easier and saves costs on both ends.

Refer to the fact sheet for more information on TRICARE Dental Program.

The dentists on base are quick to recommend the TRICARE Dental Program since active duty members (and dependents, if they’re able to get appointments) are only allocated to receive a single cleaning each year. Two cleanings per year are recommended for optimal dental health. They know the benefits of the program! And I agree!

Our family certainly embraces a health and wellness lifestyle. We use natural and sustainable products, dietary supplements, and essential oils…some of our favorites are the Thieves Dental Care line from Young Living.

Our dentists are always so pleased to see our family in their offices since we are such model patients with great oral health! They say we should be tooth models and teach others how to care for their teeth.

The Defense Health Agency continues to offer a comprehensive dental care
option available for purchase by eligible active duty family members and
National Guard and Reserve members and their families. Effective May 1, 2017,
United Concordia Companies, Inc. (United Concordia) will assume responsibility
for administering the TRICARE Dental Program, replacing the outgoing dental
contractor. Your monthly premium rate will also change and you may
need to find a new dental provider.

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Outsider

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As  a military wife, there are certain…duties…that I must undertake to assist my husband in his career goals. Once such duty is that I attend functions with other mil wives. I seldom enjoy them. These meetings are certainly sacrifices I make for him and his career. He understands the anxiety that these events cause in my heart and he appreciates that I do these things {mostly} willingly because I love him.

In the beginning, I tried really hard to fit in and do the right things and be the right kind of military wife.

I had a mentor who became a dear friend and I learned a great deal from her about these events. She helped put me at ease.

So, at her prompting and my husband’s hints, I joined the Officers’ Spouses’ Club and even became a board member. I really tried to say and look and do all the right things.

31DaysofDyingtoSelf.jpg

Attempt #1:

Most of the officers’ wives were just mean girls. It was like middle school all over again. We were isolated on an island and had to rely on each other whether we wanted to or not. Most wives didn’t work outside the home. Their kids were all in school during the day. Since I was a homeschool mom with three very little ones, I missed many meetings or had to get a babysitter. It grieved my heart to do this and I felt so selfish.

I learned quickly just to not say much. I didn’t have to talk since most of the wives’ favorite pursuits were Bunco and drinking. I could be invisible. And observant.

There came a time when I could no longer sit back and listen and watch silently.  I was only in charge of the newsletter, website, and publicity. Many of the wives whose husbands had higher rank relished telling us younger wives what to do and how to do it. I even got called out for some of the ads I placed in the newsletter. The finances for the OSC were facing discipline for mismanaging funds and the honorary member (a general’s wife) and one of the advisors (a colonel’s wife) tried to threaten board members to cover it up.

I was so DONE. I am not one who can stand to be manipulated. This was not an organization in which I wanted to participate. I sent a very formal, well thought-out, and neutral resignation email citing exactly what I felt was wrong and why. I got an ugly response from an advisor. She felt my email was a personal attack on her. She replied “to all” in her email and she was rather inappropriate. That was her mistake and she eventually apologized to me. But the damage was done. I was blackballed by many members of the OSC.

In a way, this freed me to be more myself. I don’t think it hurt my husband in any way since most of those wives’ husbands didn’t work directly with mine. And I still had a few friends on my side.

Attempt #2:

A different base. A new group of officers’ wives. Different everything. My husband deployed for almost seven months. I became a key spouse because it made my husband look good. The monthly meetings and quarterly trainings just about killed me. I didn’t feel like I did a very good job since no one was really interested in even talking to me. Most of the enlisted spouses wouldn’t communicate with an officer’s wife. I felt I neglected my kids since I had to get a babysitter when I went to the functions.

I joined the OSC on the prompting of the group commander’s wife. Kinda hard to say no. It wasn’t really a request. And I just hate the whole pay-50-bucks to join a group that feels like a sorority (and no offense to you sorority girls, but it’s not my thing). I attempted to attend the weekly mommy play group and monthly preschool field trips. Again, I did not fit in. These mommies were just itching for the day they could send their kids to a school, any school, for all day long so they could play. (I am not judging moms who send their kids to school, but these moms weren’t kind about my choice to home educate.) They did not appreciate that I am with my four kids all day, every day, and I enjoy it. I chose this! I couldn’t take the judging comments disguised as polite questions about my kids’ welfare. If my kids had enjoyed the play groups, then I would’ve suffered silently, but they didn’t really like the other kids. So I quit going.

I wasn’t missed.

I didn’t renew my membership.

Now, we have a new base. More new commanders. New wives. Another attempt?

Not gonna happen.

I’m just tired. I’m tired of trying to fit in. I’m tired of being on the outside looking in.

Do you ever feel like you don’t fit in?

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Military Kids are Third Culture Kids

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We’re a third culture family.

Our lifestyle is vastly different than the way my husband and I grew up, and certainly different from that of our parents, except my dad’s life as a Navy brat.

My dad doesn’t have too many fond memories of growing up and I’m realizing my gregarious eldest daughter doesn’t enjoy moving around so much either.

We didn’t realize how different our lifestyles had become until I read this book, Third Culture Kids, and started evaluating our transitions since getting married and having a family.

Having grown up in Georgia, and living there for 29 years, my life was pretty stable, as was Liz’s for her first four years (not taking into account all that bustling back and forth to her birth father’s house every two weeks and alternate holidays).

Since then, our life has been a whirlwind of moving all over every few years. My kids’ lives are vastly different than many of their peers’ and even within the homeschool, Christian, military communities, we seem to be the oddballs.

Third Culture Kids

Our family’s most major life events (and stressors):

  1. Aaron and I got married in January 2005.
  2. We moved to San Antonio, in summer 2005.
  3. We were blessed by Victoria’s and Katherine’s arrival. We were a minority there, and our blonde babies were fascinating for many of the Latinos who were in our homeschool groups.
  4. Both Aaron’s parents passed away within a year. It’s been so hard.
  5. We moved to Hawaii, in 2007.
  6. We were blessed by our baby boy, Alexander, joining our family. Again, we were a minority, and my blonde, blue-eyed babies were petted and doted on by many of the Asians and Hawaiians we knew.
  7. We moved to Salt Lake City, Utah, in 2010. There, we were in a religious minority, not being LDS. It was difficult and we didn’t make many friends among homeschoolers or neighbors. We did find an amazing church family. We kinda miss it.
  8. And we recently moved to Germany in summer 2014. Of course, there’s a language and cultural barrier. We’re learning all sorts of new things to cope with living here. So far, we love it! In some ways, we stand out (like when I drive my very American Dodge Caravan), but in other ways, we fit in ok.

As a military family, we must learn to weather the transitions and fit in quickly.

We have different defense mechanisms than other people. We know we don’t have years to make deep friendships. We don’t have houses or backyards with fun building and creative projects that will last for generations.

We have to make memories and can’t be attached to things.

I love how Timothy Keller put it in The Prodigal God: “There seems to be a sense, then, in which we all are like the younger brother. We are all exiles, always longing for home. We are always traveling, never arriving. The houses and families we actually inhabit are only inns along the way, but they aren’t home. Home continues to evade us.”

If this concept is difficult for me sometimes, I know it’s hard on the kids!

To make transitions easier, I try to do something special for the kids to look forward to and help them adjust as quickly as possible.

We try to keep up with the local homeschool scene. We never seem to quite fit in. But I know the kids need playtime with other kids. So I take them to the group field trips and park or gym days. I usually sit in a corner, alone, playing on my phone or reading while the other moms ignore me and chat amongst themselves. They all go to the same Baptist church, so there’s that.

This PCS, I bought the three younger kids new bedding before we left the States {yay for planning ahead!} – (and we bought Alex a whole new big-boy loft bed as soon as we arrived in Germany!).

Alex’s bedding is Monster Trucks, and the comforter is on the floor. Of course. I found it at Target before we moved.

loftbed.jpg

Tori and Kate were so excited when we unpacked and they were anxious to get their beds made, all pretty and new.

I found their bedding at Bed, Bath, and Beyond before we moved.

It’s perfect and my girls’ favorite colors – teal and green.

MixMatchGirlsRoom.png

For my teen, Elizabeth, we got her connected right away with the Civil Air Patrol squadron here. (If you have a child interested, message me for her CAP # so she gets recruiter credit!)

They were super impressed that she packed all her uniforms and books. She had an FTX after we packed out, so she didn’t have much choice. She’s showing her true colors as a natural leader, promoting in rank and being a flight NCO. She’s looking forward to her second encampment.

We also had Liz check out the chapel youth activities while we stayed in TLF, but since we moved into our house, it hasn’t been convenient to drive her on base right at dinnertime on Tuesday evenings.

She’s loving the local community drama team and will perform in the play KinderTransport!

I realize the importance of keeping my social butterfly connected with positive social outlets.

As a family, we started attended the traditional church service at the base chapel. Our first Sunday, we started walking there (it was on the other side of base!) and we got offered a ride by a chaplain who saw us. That’s real Christian living, folks.

So far, the service is just ok and we understand that summer is the transition time for most military, so we await a new chaplain to see if we like the services more. Not sure what to do if we don’t…there’s always the liturgical service at 0900, if we can get up and get there.

There aren’t too many choices for English-speaking church services around here. Lots of Baptist, Pentecostal, and non-denominational churches that don’t appeal to us one bit (no offense to those of you who attend those kinds of churches, but to each his own). One Lutheran and one PCA. We haven’t been super successful maintaining a consistent church experience. Living all over makes it especially difficult for fringe denominations and non-Christians.

Church “shopping” is no fun at all.

I am so thankful that my kids get to grow up living, learning, and knowing different cities, states, countries, and cultures.

We are so blessed with getting to live in many different places and being able to travel and have so many unique experiences.

I look forward to seeing the adults my children grow up to be.

The world is a much smaller place for them than it was for me as a kid and young adult.

Nowhere is our home when everywhere is.

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PCSing OCONUS with a Vehicle

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When we PCSed to Hawaii, we didn’t ship a personal vehicle.
We sold both our cars since we needed a larger one for our growing family and we figured we’d only need one vehicle while living on base.

When we PCSed to Germany, we shipped our van at the latest possible moment.

The email said 20 June as the latest possible date for the arrival of my minivan in Germany.

We had waited as patiently as possible for almost a month, renting a car for Memorial Day weekend to find a house.

We prayed fervently and quickly purchased a second vehicle for Aaron to drive to and from work. It’s a 5-seater Audi A6 – and we crammed those kids in the back to go to church on base for a couple Sundays.

New Audi

Of course the website for the POV shipment was down all month so we couldn’t check the status. Did the boat sink? When would I get my van?

Thursday afternoon, my husband emailed the contract carrier, asking for a status report.

Nothing.

Nothing all day Friday.

What’s the point of a due date if it just passes us by?

Saturday, we went to the library so I could use the wi-fi and the kids could get their weekly reading prizes.

When my husband checked his email, there was one alerting us about the arrival of our van. Sent at 5:30 on Friday.

It wouldn’t have mattered if we had received that email immediately. The offices were closed by 4 or 5 on Friday.

Monday morning, we were up bright and early (way early for me – 0600!) and headed out to begin the paperwork to get my van.

We proceeded to jump through all sorts of hoops in order to get my minivan. (We’re thankful it’s paid for. It’s a 2007 Dodge Caravan. We bought it new in Hawaii and it’s served us well. We pray it lasts through this tour here in Germany.)

Because it’s really my T.A.R.D.I.S., remember?

My TARDIS

Three different buildings, luckily for us, they were all back to back to back. We were worried we’d have to drive all over base to get all the paperwork completed.

At the vehicle registration office, we had to show proof of ownership, the shipping documents, my military dependent ID, German USAREUR driver’s license. I expected them to ask for a pint of blood and rights to my firstborn. Forms were filled out and payment was made.

We were issued temporary license plates. We had to go to the shipment office to verify ownership and check it over for damage. One back taillight was chipped.

Then we had to drive to the next building over for vehicle inspection. We had heard horror stories of how picky they could be and would often fail vehicles for very minor cosmetic damage. I have a tiny chip in the windshield and the corner of the rear bumper has a little rust and dent. And that chipped tail light. We prayed.

They checked over the exterior, they drove it to check the brakes, lights, and horn. They viewed the undercarriage.

They informed us we had to remove all stickers (we still had an inspection sticker and base ID label from Hawaii) and to monitor that chip in the windshield. If it gets more than 1/2 inch, we have to replace the windshield.

They provided us with a razor blade, and we gladly scraped off those stickers in a hurry.

We passed. Whew!

On to the vehicle registration office (a different one beside the inspection building) to get our permanent license plates. We paid and then drove off to get our gasoline ration card.

At the Shoppette, we showed the registration to a clerk and received an Esso gas ration card (that only works for us in Germany) – it looks like a debit card and allows us to buy gasoline tax-free. We are allotted 400-600 ℓ each month. Each time we buy gas, we have to take this card from the pump into the Shoppette to pay with our ration card. Unleaded gas this week on base is about $3.92/gallon. Off base, it’s about E1.67/ℓ. We also can load the card with Euro to purchase at Esso stations throughout Europe for tax-free, but we still must remain under the ration amount.

The Vogelweh Shoppette has regular unleaded for about $3.92/g but the Ramstein Shoppette has only mid-grade and premium.

Guess where I get my gas?

So, we’re ready to roll now!

Now to become an expert in backing into tight parking spots and maneuvering my big American vehicle on these narrow German roads.

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When the Rhythm is Disrupted

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Recently, I was asked what my plans are for this summer. I replied that we’re creating a new rhythm.

We’re moving into our house in the cutest little German village next week. Out of that stressful disruption will come new experiences. We get to make memories in that house for three years.

I get to set the rhythm.

Our rhythm has been disrupted for too long. Packing, moving, traveling, living out of suitcases is taking its toll.

We’ve taken advantage of the lack of schedule.

We fit in school when we can. We buy ice cream from the German ice cream man (this is real ice cream – huge sundaes! None of that chemical gelatinous stuff I grew up with!). We play outside until after bedtime since it’s light here until almost 10 PM. We walk everywhere since we have no car. We don’t eat snacks since we don’t have any. We have the barest minimum of food to make simple meals in our apartment.

I have to rely on strangers to help me. I had to beg a ride to an Officers’ Spouses Welcome Breakfast. I had to beg a ride to my Intro to Ramstein class because it was way on the far other side of base. (I could’ve walked, but it would have taken a while and I would’ve had to have left early.) I had to beg a ride for myself and my four kids to this really neato shopping field trip. We went to many of the local German stores to see what they had. My kids made this mama proud with their awesome behavior.

My husband hasn’t been to the gym in ages and he used to go work out at least four times a week. I can tell it’s wearing on him. He’s sleepy and grouchy. All the in-processing, training, and hoop-jumping isn’t helping while he tries to get settled at his new job.

I certainly don’t want the days, weeks, months, years to fly by while we’re here. I don’t want to have regrets of what we could’ve done and should’ve seen. We’ve had that at every base we’ve ever been.

I want to get settled quickly and move on to the important parts.

We will have very little maintenance and virtually no storage at our new house. While we purged a great deal before moving, I feel there is some more purging in my very near future as we discover more of what we can live without.

While we certainly miss our books and clothes and kitchen supplies, it has been entirely possible and almost refreshing to live on so little the last few months.

For the remainder of this week, I get to dream and plan what rhythm I want to set for our new life.

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Chance of a Lifetime: Living in Germany

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Wondering what we’ve been up to?

You seriously need to follow me on social media if you don’t know we’ve been in the process of moving to Germany.

We arrived at last week.

Here are our adventures moving to Germany…

I had some creative packing and planning to do these last couple months, beginning in mid-April.

Traveling with pets is not cheap or fun, but they’re part of our family. We flew the cats out to my parents so we could pack up and not have to worry about them with the movers there. There was no way they were traveling in the van with us and meowing the whole way!

We stayed in TLF at Hill AFB for a couple weeks until my husband was released from base.

We road-tripped from Utah to Georgia in a very cramped minivan.

We stayed a couple weeks with my parents. I think they were tired of us after a week.

We flew from Atlanta to Baltimore to Germany with two cats and four kids, nine suitcases and twelve carryons.

We’re now in TLF in Germany until we can move into our house. Our cats are staying with one of my husband’s co-workers until we can get settled. They didn’t have anymore room at the pet TLF.

The cats were the most expensive part of our move.

We had vet fees – twice for each cat – to receive travel certificates. One set of travel certificates for the plane ride from Utah to Georgia and another set of travel certificates, certified by the USDA ($76!), for travel from Atlanta to Baltimore to Germany. We had to pay for their plane tickets to Atlanta and then to Baltimore and then to Germany. We had to pay fees (about  for their entrance into Germany. Altogether, the fees totaled out at about $1500!

Last week?

We flew out of Atlanta mid-morning and spent the afternoon in Baltimore. The USO at BWI was rather disappointing. We flew out about 5:30 PM. We arrived in Germany about 7:30 AM.

Aaron’s sponsor and co-worker met us and helped us store our luggage and get checked in to TLF. We ate a quick breakfast (at JR Rockers – yuck!) and even looked at a German house that was adorable but way too small. He then took us by the commissary for some supplies. He picked up Aaron the next couple days to drop him off at his in-processing appointments.

That’s kinda the last we saw of sponsors.

The kids and I walked around the base to get familiar with the library and BX. We could only bring back what we could carry. Apparently, we can carry quite a lot.

I attended an OSC welcome breakfast and had brunch at a darling coffeeshop and met a new friend. She took me to a German grocery store, Globus, that will sure become a favorite shopping place.

For Memorial Day weekend, we were gonna be stuck indoors with rainy weather, no transportation, and nothing to do.

So we rented a neato Audi wagon and found a house in a picturesque village. It’s perfect and we’re excited.

Chance of a Lifetime

On Monday, we opened a local checking account, ran some errands, had an amazing German lunch (in the BX no less!), and I was pretty exhausted by afternoon.

German Meal

Memorial Day has special meaning here in Europe.

If we had a car and I had planned better, we would have gone to see some of the events for Memorial Day.

We are tired of cooking our meals in our little TLF apartment with two pans. We are tired of being in a cramped space not our own. The kids are acting out from not having chores or a regular schedule.

You know your kids are getting spoiled when the boy asks: “When is the maid coming?”

And, yes, I do make my kids make their beds and keep their space clean, even in TLF.

We are so thankful to live here and experience a different culture and it’s coming together as only God could orchestrate.

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5 Things I’ve Learned During PCS

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We spent 10 days in TLF before heading out for a weeklong roadtrip on our way to PCS to Germany.

Of course, the HVAC was broken in the TLF unit (temporary housing facility – like a furnished apartment). Our bedroom averaged somewhere in the 50s and the girls’ room was mostly in the low 80s. We had windows open in their room and Aaron and I slept in sweatshirts each night. That was an adventure.

We had to pack for an almost three-month-long journey from Utah to Georgia to Germany.

While being in tight quarters, living out of suitcases, and having no real schedule, we all have to make concessions for each other.

We learn some great life lessons during a military PCS.

5 Things I’ve Learned During PCS

1. How to Self-Entertain

Tori, Kate, and Alex discovered all on their own talking into a fan and making their voices sound funny. Picture below.

I love that they find fun in something harmless and simple and free.

When I warned them to be careful and make sure not to get hair, fingers, or anything else too close to the fan, they offered pained expressions that I would think them that foolish. But I’m a mom and have to mention such warnings. It’s my duty.

I love that the kids found fun new ways to entertain themselves. Boredom is often good, and sparks creativity.

Talking into the Fan2. Cooking Simply is Good Enough

We managed to cook most of our meals until the last pack-out day in our house.

We certainly didn’t want to eat out for ten days while in TLF. Our budget and health would not thank us for that.

Not having access to our cookware, pantry items, and vast spice collection put a damper on some of the meals I like to make. We made do with limited supplies and tools.

We brought some of our pantry items with us that were opened already and too good to throw out – like quinoa, flour, some spices, and sauces.

We celebrated our final days in Utah and at Hill AFB with a cookie cake:

We bought disposable aluminum pans and grilled meat at the nearby playground for dinners.

We had lots of quinoa or rice and steamed veggies and/or salads to go with the grilled meat.

My final dinner, I used up lots of supplies by roasting some chicken thighs and making some harvest wild rice and veggies:

We picnicked for lunches on our road trip except for the last couple days. That saved money and was healthier.

We enjoyed cooking for my parents and they appreciated it too!

3. Quiet Time is Necessary in Tight Spaces

My kids quit naps at the age of two (alas!), and I’ve never been successful with maintaining quiet times with four rambunctious kids. Usually, they play in another part of the house or outdoors in the afternoon while I work.

A couple of cold, rainy days had us irritable and annoying each other, so I had to institute a quiet time those afternoons when everyone had to lie on his or her bed and read, color, or do something silent.

Also, since Alex slept on the living room sofa bed, early risers had to tiptoe around and be super quiet in the morning until he woke up. One morning when he must’ve been super tired, I had to wait to grind and brew my coffee until 08:30!

We often hushed our kids from being too rambunctious since the walls in TLF are so thin. We didn’t want to bother any other residents with jumping around or excessive noise in the mornings or evenings.

4. Less is More

We are only able to have what fits in suitcases, and this posed several problems for me while packing.

We had to account for almost three months and several different climates. We can only carry so much and it had to fit into our Dodge Caravan. We’re allowed 2 suitcases each and 2 carryons each, but we can’t fit all that in the van or manage it in airports.

There were the ten days in TLF where it was chilly and dreary and not quite yet spring where we had to wear layers and be prepared for rain or even snow.

We had to have comfy car clothes for the weeklong road trip from Utah to Georgia. I had a tiny carryon suitcase with pajamas and a change of clothes for everyone that I brought into our hotels each night along with our toiletry bags to minimize unpacking and stress.

We had to have summer clothes for the humid, hot days in Alabama and Georgia. I only brought a few outfits for the couple weeks in the South.

When we arrived in Germany, we went back to wearing layers since it’s cooler there.

I allowed only 2-3 dresses each for the girls and myself and only a few pairs of shoes.

The kids each have a backpack with art supplies and small toys. And I brought two tote bags of school items since we’re not quite finished with our curriculum this year and this helps maintain a routine.

5. Courtesy is a Necessity

Being together constantly and in such tight quarters helped us work on relationship issues. We had to focus on being courteous with each other.

I worked on teaching the kids to not have a “Me First” attitude.

While in TLF, six of us had to share one bathroom with only a shower.

We had to stay quiet while others were working or sleeping.

The kids had to be more helpful than usual and clean the six plates and forks provided for our use – to be ready for each meal.

We had a system for climbing into and out of the van at rest stops during our roadtrip. The van was jampacked and the kids couldn’t stretch out at all.

We taught them not be greedy at the free hotel breakfasts, but to only take what they could and would consume. And we couldn’t really linger since we had to get on the road.

Tori and Kate have always shared a room, but they had to share a double bed at hotels and at their grandparents’ house. Alex and Liz normally have their own rooms and beds, but had to share a double bed too.

They had to share activity supplies – and sometimes snacks and drinks if we got low or ran out.

All of these lessons are great to help them grow up to be servant leaders and compassionate towards others.

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We’re Not That Special

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“I don’t know how you do it.”

“I could never do what you do.”

“How do you do it?”

But I wonder if they really want to know and I don’t really know what to say.

It’s just life for us.

We are counter-cultural.

We love Jesus. We are a homeschool family. My father and husband are military.

Therefore, we do things differently and live our lives in a different pattern than most people.

We are raising our kids to be world changers.

I focus on servant leadership because I don’t want my kids to feel entitled. I want them to have grateful hearts and know contentment in all circumstances. I am still learning this too.

We are different than the mainstream. While I don’t fish for compliments, I do love hearing how our kids are courteous, polite, well-mannered, compassionate. It is affirmation.

Even among church friends, we were different. I often didn’t have my kids attend church events because we chose not to participate in worldly activities. I spent Sunday school hour with Elizabeth, working through a mother-daughter devotional since there was no Sunday school class appropriate for her or interesting to me.

Alex's baptism

We are homeschooling our four children.

Many people I know are amazed that I have all four children at home every day. While I understand homeschooling isn’t the right educational choice for many, I do think many parents seem to prefer to not have their kids around. Many parents fear actually parenting. Many people fear relationships.

In the beginning of our homeschooling journey, I was certainly among the fearful parents. I wasn’t trained to teach young kids and I was unsure what to do with my babies, preschoolers, early elementary kids.

Liz attended a private Christian preschool and one month of third grade in a public DoD school. My younger three kids have never attended school outside the home.

Again, we are different than the mainstream who send their kids to public or private school or even do part-time homeschooling for whatever reason. I feel we’re different than a lot of homeschoolers too.

We originally began homeschooling solely for academics. Within a few years, I had changed my perspective and methods to be more of a lifestyle choice.

After trying various co-ops and classes and extracurricular activities, we decided to take a break from all that and just stay home and learn. It’s saving us money and the kids are getting creative to find ways of learning what they want in the way of music or language.

Bouncy Dinosaur

I love the freedom we have to learn what we want, when we want, based on our interests. We can days off to travel or explore something new. We don’t keep a strict calendar since we school roughly year-round. This makes some school “years” longer than others – especially PCS years.

We are a military family.

My kids are third-culture kids (TCK), growing up in a different cultural environment than my husband – or myself. Whereas by definition, I am an adult third-culture kid (ATCK), my children are experiencing even more differences from the cultural norm than I did as a military child.

National Anthem

We don’t have a home.

We have temporary homes and I so relate to the verse:

For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come. Hebrews 13:14 NLT

By being TCKs, my kids experience a different normal than other kids. Military subculture permeates their existence as it did mine and it’s difficult for little kids to understand that not everyone they know understands BXes, commissaries, deployments, and other military things that are normal life for us.

Elizabeth has experienced four PCSes – permanent change of station moves. My younger three don’t remember moving at all. Victoria was four when we arrived in Utah and Katie was a year younger and Alex was only a few months old. They have no memory of packing, moving, or arriving.

For us, this is life. This is our normal. We do it because there’s not an alternative and we did choose this life. God called us to this. The kids took all of the recent PCS events with stride and great poise. I am so proud of them during this stressful time.

Saying goodbye to people, places, and things is normal for us. For many people we know, it is unfathomable to even imagine saying goodbye since they’ve never moved out of their town or away from family. Every two to four years, we pack up and move on to a new adventure. Goodbyes are hard. Hellos are harder.

Holidays are lonely for us. We spend every holiday with just the six of us. I make extra effort to make holidays special and create tradition since we don’t go to visit extended family or have anyone stay with us for holidays. These events could easily pass us by as just another day if I don’t remember to create tradition for the kids to have memories. You can always help a military family feel special by including them and inviting them to share special events with your family.

We get to live history. We’ve lived in Georgia, Texas, Hawaii, Utah, and are on our way to Germany. I take advantage of our locales to educate the kids about the cultural and historical events first-hand. I love experiential learning. The kids are super excited!

Every family is unique.

Before you blurt out: “I could never do what you do!” as an afterthought or compliment (or insult), take some time to understand that family’s dynamics, what makes them special.

Maybe you’ll make a new friend or learn from them.

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