Jennifer Lambert

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Homeschooling as a Military Family

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March 28, 2017 By Jennifer Lambert 19 Comments

Families decide to homeschool their children for so many different reasons: academics, extra-curricular activities, special needs, allergies, religion, and more all bring families to the decision to homeschool.

Who homeschools?

Homeschooling families are as diverse as our United States military families!

According to the National Center for Education Statistics (NCES), in 2012, there were an estimated 1.8 million homeschooled students in the United States, and those numbers are increasing!

Many families homeschool temporarily for various reasons and some families are in it for the long haul.

Why homeschool in the military?

Transitions

Many military families find PCS season easier without having to deal with school transfer paperwork. Who wants more paperwork?

Different standards in each state can make it difficult for children transferring between school districts. With homeschooling, fewer credits are missed because it is a more cohesive transition if parents are in control. Many parents also complain of “gaps” in education standards in the states where they’ve lived.

Flexibility

Instead of worrying about school break schedules and half-days, homeschoolers can travel whenever they want or take time off from book work to spend more time with a soon-to-be deployed or returning parent.

Opportunity

Homeschoolers receive a “real world” education, especially in military families, since we often have the opportunity to live in or travel to so many interesting places around the world! We learn to be more culturally aware. We are third culture families! We’re often “road schooling” so we can see the places we’re learning about in our homeschool.

Homeschooling can be done anywhere, anytime.

What you need to know:

Homeschool families in CONUS locations must abide by the state law where you live (not your sponsor’s state of residency) which may include submitting an “intent to homeschool” letter or form, providing standardized test scores, assessments, portfolios, curricula titles, attendance records, and more annually.

You could be penalized for truancy or worse if you don’t comply.

Know the law and your rights.

For OCONUS locations, homeschool families do not have to report or submit anything to anyone, but it is recommended (not required) to mention it to the sponsor’s commander. Realize that homeschooling is often illegal for local citizens in host countries, so it is good to know your rights under the SOFA agreement. And it’s also nice to be respectful of daytime hours when neighbors might question your or your kids.

It is advisable to keep good records of homeschool documents in case of PCS to a state with stricter policy – or the possibility of future enrollment into public, private, or DoD schools. You just never know what the future may hold.

What about socialization?

Homeschoolers are not all stuck in little closets, reading quantum physics, rebuilding computers, composing symphonies, or hacking into secure servers.

Socialization is a concern, especially for many parents beginning homeschooling. We worry about isolation and how our children will be able to interact with others in a healthy way.

School environments cannot recreate natural socialization within controlled age-segregated institutions.

We’ve discovered many unique opportunities to socialize!

Libraries offer all kinds of fun: storytime, crafts, clubs, games, classes, contests. Ask your librarian to plan homeschool events!

Our children have always taken music lessons from amazing teachers in our community.

My kids participate in gymnastics, soccer, track, and baseball. There are many sports opportunities within most communities.

We attend church frequently where our children interact with so many different people of all ages.

Volunteering is a great opportunity for homeschoolers who have a flexible schedule. My teen daughter works at our installation hospital twice a week. She is certified with the Red Cross and loves it!

My teenage daughter is also a member of a local drama troupe where she performs with many amateur thespians of all ages in our community.

We are members of a local homeschooling organization that holds art shows, science and geography fairs, co-op classes led by parents, talent shows, field trips, holiday parties, and special events. We can participate as much or as little as we want.

Many homeschoolers are involved in Girl Scouts or Boy Scouts or similar extra-curricular activities.

My eldest daughter has participated in Civil Air Patrol since she was 12 years old.

Even shopping, medical appointments, and dining out is educational. It’s a learning experience to interact with and be courteous to store clerks, cashiers, nurses, wait staff, and other patrons.

We as homeschool parents get to choose our children’s socialization…who they associate with and what they spend their time doing.

Our attitudes and experiences impart knowledge to our kids.

What if you can’t (or don’t want to) teach something?

I am so lucky that I am the English and history expert and my husband is the math and science guy. Together, we can tackle almost anything our kids want to learn, even the tougher high school courses.

But what if you don’t want to teach writing or algebra gives you hives?

Many homeschool classes are offered online! Lots of companies provide classes especially for homeschoolers.

Private tutors are an available resource, both online and locally. Many local and DoD libraries offer free or reduced educational services.

You can check for local co-op classes. If there is nothing available in your area to suit your family’s needs, ask other parents to help you create a course! There are probably other parents in need of your skills who can offer their expertise.

Homeschoolers can enroll part-time in many local or DoD schools for academics, electives, or extra-curricular activities. Just speak to the school office for procedure.

What about high school and beyond?

We are navigating this right now and it’s both scary and exciting!

It’s important to keep good records.

Calculate high school credits and complete a transcript.

Prepare for the ACT or SAT.

Complete paperwork for financial aid, applications, scholarships.

Visit college or job fairs.

Homeschool high school doesn’t have to look like traditional school.

Coach your homeschooled students well for after high school – no matter if that’s work, college, a gap year, or whatever.

Whether it’s for a semester or 12+ years, homeschooling is an educational option many military families all over the world choose for their children.

Homeschooling is the hardest job you will ever love.

Resources:

The Homeschool Foundation assists military homeschool families who struggle financially to meet their children’s educational needs.
The Homeschool Association for Military Families is a group advocating for military families to be allowed to choose one location (a family home state) and a set of laws to follow throughout a child’s education. I think that’s great!
Get a starter kit from the Home School Association for Military Families.
Remember: You can get military and teacher discounts at many stores! Check with curricula providers, bookstores, services, and stores for military and teacher discounts.

Homeschool Support Groups:

Military Homeschoolers (Worldwide)
Military Homeschoolers Overseas
Secular Homeschoolers

OCONUS Homeschool Support Groups:

There are lots of groups for each installation. Ask or do an online search to find one near you!

United Homeschoolers of Germany (KMC, Germany)
KMC Christian Homeschoolers (KMC, Germany)
KMC Inclusive Homeschool Group (KMC, Germany)
Eifel Homeschool Group (Spangdahlem, Germany)
Grafenwoehr and Vilseck Homeschoolers and Facebook Group (Germany)
Sigonella Homeschoolers (Italy)
Naples Homeschooling (Italy)
Naples Christian Homeschooling (Italy)
L.I.F.E. Homeschool Group – Lakenheath and Mildenhall (UK)
Okinawa Homeschool Group
Seoul Homeschool Group

Let me know if there’s a group where you live that I don’t have on my list!

Book Resources:

  • The Well-Trained Mind: A Guide to Classical Education at Home by Susan Wise Bauer
  • Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children From Nature-Deficit Disorder by Richard Louv
  • Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason by Alfie Kohn
  • The Danish Way of Parenting: What the Happiest People in the World Know About Raising Confident, Capable Kids by Jessica Joelle Alexander and Iben Sandahl 
  • Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting by Pamela Druckerman
  • How Children Learn by John Holt
  • Free to Learn: Why Unleashing the Instinct to Play Will Make Our Children Happier, More Self-Reliant, and Better Students for Life by Peter Gray
  • Balanced and Barefoot: How Unrestricted Outdoor Play Makes for Strong, Confident, and Capable Children by Angela J. Hanscom
  • Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids by Kim John Payne
  • Free-Range Kids: How Parents and Teachers Can Let Go and Let Grow by Lenore Skenazy
  • Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships by Marshall B. Rosenberg, PhD 
  • Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers by Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Maté  
  • The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture by Gabor Maté

You might also like:

  • PCS While Homeschooling
  • Preparing Kids for a PCS
  • Military Kids are TCKs
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Life is an Adventure

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Please see my suggested resources.

September 23, 2016 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

Life is an ADVENTURE!

I kind of knew what I was getting into back in 2005, marrying an Air Force officer.

I knew the military life, even though my family was never transcient. My dad was in the Army. I grew up familiar with military protocol and all that.

We got married in January, and the Air Force scheduled a deployment for spring, that got canceled when his father suddenly passed away. Then they PCSed us in June. I found out I was pregnant the day the movers came to pack out the house.

It was the first time I’d ever lived outside my home state of Georgia.

The transition was a bit brutal for me, being away from all family and friends.

We had our two middle girls during the two years we lived in Texas. My husband’s mother passed away suddenly.

Then we moved to Hawaii and had our son.

Then we lived a rather uneventful four years in Utah, though my husband did deploy during my first winter season ever in my life.

We live in Germany now and are preparing for another PCS this spring, probably back to the States.

Life is definitely an adventure!

I have the T-shirt to prove it!

I love the soft material and V-neckline! It’s a dressier tee shirt than most. A great length and feminine shape. Cents of Style is the best!

life-is-an-adventure-tee-shirt

Military life has taught me a few things:

I’ve learned to handle stress well.

We experienced almost all the major life stress events within our first two years of marriage (marriage, deaths, births, moving) and we survived. It made our family stronger to overcome these events.

I’ve learned to be flexible.

Orders change. Things happen. I am not in control. I look to God for my strength.

I’ve learned to be optimistic.

Every military base has benefits and interesting things about the location. There’s no sense in being miserable when we must live there for 2-4 years. We knew people who hated living in Hawaii! Having a good attitude is important and modeling optimism for my kids teaches them how to be content in all circumstances.

We love to travel.

We’ve gotten the opportunity to go to the Hawaiian islands, Yellowstone and the Tetons, camping and fishing in Utah, road trip from Utah to Georgia, visiting my husband’s two sisters in Illinois, and explore all over Europe. We homeschool, so I can teach my children wherever we are, focusing on historical and cultural places I only learned about in books.

We look forward to more exciting adventures!

I’ve learned that military life is…an adventure.

life-is-an-adventure

Get your own Life Is… tee shirt!

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This weekend, the code is LIFEIS1 and it will make the Cents of Style NEW Life Is Tees $15.95, with FREE SHIPPING! The code is good Friday, 9/23 – Sunday, 9/25.

Photos taken by my 10-year-old daughter, Victoria!

The necklace is also by Cents of Style. We love their accessories and leggings!

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Preparing Kids for a PCS

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August 25, 2016 By Jennifer Lambert 14 Comments

Moving is stressful for anyone, but especially so for children.

PCS is a huge change, whether it’s the first or the fifth.

PCS=Permanent Change of Station, even though it seems temporary – usually only 2-4 years!

According to the DOD, the average military child moves 6 to 9 times between kindergarten and high school graduation.

Military families relocate 10 times more often than civilian families – on average, every 2 to 4 years.

That’s a roller-coaster!

Moving is more stressful than divorce.

Think about that.

Preparing Kids for a PCS

How can we make the moving transition easier on our kids?

Prepare

As soon as you know a PCS is coming up, start preparing the kids for the transition.

Talk about it, explain that you’ll have to pack up everything you own and move to a new home.

Even though it could take a few more months to receive actual orders, it’s important to start the conversation so that kids can prepare their hearts and minds for the changes.

Discuss purging items and having a yard sale. I have a PCS checklist you can download!

Educate

Start reading about moving. Show your child what to expect.

Learn about your new location as soon as you know where you’re going. Research the area, school opportunities, activities, church, day trip ideas.

It’s exciting to move to a new town and explore all it has to offer!

There’s an app from Sesame Street: The Big Moving Adventure, available from iTunes, Amazon, and Google Play. I have a book list at the end of the post for you!

Listen

Pay attention to your kids’ needs. Listen to their complaints and concerns.

Moving is never easy and it might be very difficult for kids to leave their friends, school, activities.

Babies and toddlers have a hard time understanding. Teens might rebel.

Try to handle disappoint well. If you’re upset about where you’re going, the kids will internalize that and have bad feelings about their new locale – and you’re stuck with it for a few years!

Every location has benefits. We’ve PCSed to some places not on our list and we made the best of it.

We also knew people who hated living in Hawaii and Germany, so there’s that.

Prayer does wonders!

Celebrate

Have a farewell party to say goodbyes.

Give your child a job to do during packing out and moving in so they feel like a valuable part of the process.

Do something silly and fun like having a pizza picnic on the empty floor after packing out, or sleeping on an air mattress the last night. You can repeat this on the other end!

Let your child pack a few treasures for comfort during travel.

Try to stay at cool hotels if possible during travel to your new location.

Start out at the new location with new traditions.

Let your child choose something for his or her new room, within reason and budget – new bedding, a paint color for an accent wall, a collectible, a new rug or picture.

Keep in Touch

With today’s technology, it’s easier than ever to keep in touch with friends from around the world.

Make it easy with your children and their friends with social media or free email accounts. There’s Skype and Facetime too.

I know some families who even plan vacations back to visit friends or somewhere in between to meet every year.

Get Help

It’s an added stress to have little ones underfoot during packing out and moving. Enlist a trusted teen or adult friend to help keep little kids occupied in the backyard, with a video in a corner, or even taking them out to get ice cream or to the park. This gives them a break from the tediousness of packing and protects them from getting in the way. Then you get to focus on the task at hand.

Put aside big changes during a move. Don’t potty-train or wean babies during this stressful time. Schedules go out the window.

Get Kids Settled ASAP

Get kids’ rooms back in order as soon as possible to make the transition easier on them. Familiar blankets and toys will help them feel comfortable in a new home.

Then work on the kitchen and common spaces – with the necessary items you need immediately.

Find fun new places to explore and meet new friends! Let your child lead you in her time. We have a couple very social, outgoing kids and two who are more reserved and quiet.

Look at moving as an adventure! Happiness is contagious and the kids will catch that mood if you show it.

Resources:

  • The Berenstain Bears’ Moving Day
  • Little Critter: We Are Moving by Mercer Mayer
  • Henry And Mudge And Annie’s Good Move by Cynthia Rylant 
  • Alexander, Who’s Not (Do You Hear Me? I Mean It!) Going to Move by Judith Viorst and Ray Cruz
  • Moving Day! by Jess Stockham
  • Boomer’s Big Day by Constance McGeorge
  • My Very Exciting, Sorta Scary, Big Move: A workbook for children moving to a new home by Lori Attanasio Woodring, Ph.D.
  • Moving Journal for Kids by Janet Corniel
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Stop Complaining About Military Life

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March 16, 2015 By Jennifer Lambert 3 Comments

Who is helped by hearing constant complaints?

I understand that some spouses find military life hard. But I also think some people would just find any kind of life hard. Some people just suck the joy right out of life. And if someone is struggling, let’s be uplifting instead of tearing them down.

Some spouses seem to constantly complain of every aspect of military life. They’re so weary with the PCSing and the deployments and the stress and inconveniences.

I’m weary too.

I’m weary of the negativity and complaining about military life.

I’m also tired of people proclaiming that all military spouses are the same. We’re just lumped all together with Coach bags, MLMs, pregnant, flouting our husband’s rank. It’s a tired stereotype.

I’m sick of hearing that military spouses are uneducated and jobless and mooching off the government.

Stop Complaining About Military Life - I’m weary of the negativity and complaining about military life.

I don’t raise my family any differently because we’re a military family.

I’m not a different wife because my husband is active duty Air Force.

But perhaps I have a bit of an edge having grown up a military brat. I don’t remember a time when I didn’t go to a commissary or eXchange or travel on a road trip without stopping at a base or post to check out the history there or even stay in TLF on the off-season. My dad traveled lots as a reservist and GS. His dad was active duty Navy and he lived all over the coastal USA.

I realize some spouses have no prior experience with military life, but they should certainly research before starting a serious relationship with a service member.

Normal life is what you make of it.

We live in the greatest era for connection there has ever been. It’s 2020, not 1915! We have the Internet – with Facebook and Skype and Google and all sorts of ways to research and communicate with others. There are no excuses for lack of availability of information. Learn how to Google. Stop crowdsourcing for your affirmation. Seriously.

When my husband deployed the first time, we had just PCSed to a new state. I had four kids under the age of ten. No friends, no church, no family nearby. I homeschooled and I got no break for almost a year.

And he left on our anniversary.

And I had never experienced winter before.

saying good bye

For like that whole deployment, it was winter, y’all. I’d never lived anywhere that had winter. I learned to drive in blizzards and buy snowsuits and boots for our kids. I found out where to go sledding. Then it snowed again and our basement flooded on Memorial Day in May. Fun times. {I’m not made for winter.}

There were occasions when I was miserable. There were evenings when I cried in a ball on the kitchen floor. There were nights I put the kids to bed at 6:30 so I could just be alone. I lost my temper with my kids. I hated my husband. I hated myself. I hated God.

But mostly, life ran like clockwork.

There was so much less laundry! I had leftovers from dinner for lunch the next day. I could cook bell peppers all I wanted (Aaron doesn’t like them)!!! My eldest daughter and I stayed up late on weekends, talking and watching movies, after the babies went to bed. The house was spotless. Everything was so efficient.

I am quite capable of parenting, housework, homeschooling, yard work, and simple home repairs. I knew other military wives who really could not function alone, and they had way more help from family, friends, church, and community than I’ve in my entire life. I was a single mom and homeowner for four years. So maybe that’s why it’s no big deal to me to go it alone sometimes. I trust myself.

I can get lazy and rely on my husband too much when he’s available to help. I get expectations. Without having to defend my parenting or having to divide my time between a wife’s role and parent’s role, it was often more peaceful.

I missed most the being able to sleep in an extra half hour or so on Saturday mornings while he made pancakes for the kids. But I also learned how capable my kids could be if given the chance.

Our expectations must change if we are to focus on the positives instead of the negatives. If we see everything as a learning opportunity rather than an inconvenience, it will help us make better memories for our families as we teach our kids what’s most important.

Homecoming

Are we different or special because we’re a military family?

Sometimes.

Is life hard for us because we’re a military family?

Sometimes.

Sure, there is often a lot of stress.

But despite all the negatives we could focus on, we realize how blessed we are to be able to live in different places and experience different cultures and learn so much about the world when other families miss out on that.

My son, our youngest child, told me the other day: “Mama, I love it that we get to move around and live in all these cool places and see the world.”

I just won life.

We got to live in Hawaii, Germany, Texas, Georgia, Utah, Germany, Ohio – and see such amazing sites rather than just the challenges – the stress and negativity that can come with inconveniences, deployments, TDYs, and PCSes.

I want my kids’ memories to be about the great opportunities we get to experience!

Resources:

  • Third Culture Kids 3rd Edition: Growing up among worlds by Ruth E. Van Reken, Michael V. Pollock, David C. Pollock
  • This Is Where You Belong: Finding Home Wherever You Are by Melody Warnick 
  • Almost There: Searching for Home in a Life on the Move by Bekah DiFelice
  • God Strong: The Military Wife’s Spiritual Survival Guide by Sara Horn
  • Tour of Duty: Preparing Our Hearts for Deployment: A Bible Study for Military Wives by Sara Horn
  • Chicken Soup for the Military Wife’s Soul: 101 Stories to Touch the Heart and Rekindle the Spirit by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, and Charles Preston
  • Faith Deployed: Daily Encouragement for Military Wives by Jocelyn Green
  • Faith Deployed…Again: More Daily Encouragement for Military Wives by Jocelyn Green
  • Faith, Hope, Love, & Deployment: 40 Devotions for Military Couples by Heather Gray

You might also like:

  • Celebrating the Holidays During Deployment
  • Reintegration
  • How Deployment Affects Kids
  • When a Parent Travels
  • Military Children and Toxic Stress
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