Should I Label My Children?

This blog may contain affiliate links: disclosure.
Please see my suggested resources.

December 8, 2014 By Jennifer Lambert 4 Comments

I’m sure my kids would be inundated with all sorts of labels if they attended public school.

The one month my eldest attended third grade was a nightmare.

Schools need to place students inside convenient little boxes.

Almost everyone I know has one or more children with some disorder or another.

Is it real or imagined?

There is such competition for children to excel with schoolwork and test scores that parents are medicating kids to perform well – like little racehorses on steroids.

A diagnosis of ADHD brings so many benefits in the school system. Kids with ADHD are entitled to special classes and extra time on tests – even the SAT and ACT and college entrance exams. The schools have an invested interest in diagnosing kids with disorders and/or special needs to receive more tax funding. Teachers want quiet and compliant kids who stay silently in their seats.

Homeschooling allows me the freedom to teach each of my children however it best suits us. Each of my four children are individuals with needs that require much care and time on my part.

We all have strengths and weaknesses.

We don’t all have a disorder, or do we?

It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.
Jiddu Krishnamurti

A child’s identity should be based on their abilities rather than disabilities. And certainly not just on appearances or a list of symptoms that may vary with different circumstances.

This thread on Twitter is educational. I don’t want to be that abled mother who sees my kids as “less-than.”

I’ve seen mamas’ digital signatures in forums and whatnot, proudly displaying the whole “Wife to so-and-so, mother to 4 kids, 1 with {insert disorder acronym, spectrum tag, disability, whatever}”

Obviously, it’s informative and helpful for moms to find others to share and support each other.

But I think some mothers wear their kids’ disabilities and disorders like a badge of honor.

Some mothers seem proud they have such a burden in their kids’ disorders. They love the attention they get and the sympathy when they complain.

And I get eye rolls and tsk, tsk if I dare utter a complaint ever because my kids are neurotypical or even “above average.”

Who decides what is typical or divergent?

But what is normal?

Is mental illness the new norm?

I am all for people getting the services they need and deserve. There are more great therapies and medication to help people than there ever was before. Knowledge is power.

But where is the knowledge coming from? Is it correct? Who decides?

Movies and television programs deify psychology. The person with a psychology degree is considered a god. Social media encourages kids and teens to self-diagnose themselves.

It was worrying to think how labeling her like that, without a diagnosis or even a doctor’s appointment, could affect her for the rest of her life. Saying so nonchalantly that children have a psychological or neurological disorder as if they are hungry or cold is very serious. Not only does it belittle the severity and seriousness of those who truly suffer from these conditions, but it also labels children unfairly. When they hear a plotline repeated about their lives, they begin to associate themselves with these labels and draw identity conclusions from them. These narratives become their life story, and it is very hard to get our of them.
The Danish Way of Parenting

I know some parents with very real struggles with very real children with very real challenges. I am not discounting real diagnoses or real special needs or disabilities that are physical, biological, or psycho-social.

The issue with ADHD is that it has no biological markers. It is overdiagnosed in the USA.

Lots of kids don’t actually get a real medical diagnosis. You can’t just claim your kid has ADHD because he can’t sit still for hours or she daydreams sometimes instead of completing 60 algebra problems in an hour.

It’s so much easier to make our kids pop a pill than to teach them executive function or self-control or to learn it ourselves.

We are destroying children with our expectations.

In 1991, Congress included ADHD as a disability that falls under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). So the child’s family is entitled to disability benefits. It is more work for individual teachers completing IEPs for these kids. It is quite the conundrum.

Schools and the expectations for children is often a big part of the problem.

Since when is being a child an illness?

There should be comprehensive tests to diagnose disorders and syndromes (and physical issues as well). It should take more than 20 minutes and a little checklist of 6/15 symptoms for a doctor to determine a child has ADHD.

Online quizzes are dangerous. I look at those online medical quizzes and apparently I have every disorder, syndrome, disease, and illness known and unknown and will not live past next year.

Like astrology in which everyone relates to her horoscope, almost everyone who takes an ADHD quiz discovers she is “sick.”

Is this the new witchcraft?

So, without a battery of real medical tests that come back with a true medical diagnosis, don’t label kids to make up for a lack of relationship.

I think there is a vast overdiagnosis of American kids with ADHD and other psycho-social issues. We are medicating America.

It makes our society complacent and then no one is responsible for any behavior. They blame “The Disorder.”

Sure, lots of kids probably show signs of ADHD. It’s often a temporary thing that kids experience under stress. And we are surely a very stressed out society.

In America, the oddball is the mother with kids who have no labels.

Does everybody who is labeled with it actually have ADHD?

It’s way overdiagnosed in America. Fewer European kids are diagnosed or medicated for ADHD than American kids. They have a different lifestyle and priorities.

We monitor behavior in our family closely. We have a flexible schedule and structure. We stay close together to relate well.

A military pediatrician diagnosed my eldest as “OFF THE CHARTS ADHD” when she was seven. I just never fully agreed with it. Honestly? She was SEVEN. She was learning to cope with daily life with a new dad, two new sisters, a cross-country move, and beginning homeschooling. She had been abused by her birth father. Stress!

I don’t fear the ADHD label: I just think many kids diagnosed with it is unnecessary and imaginary. My little kids don’t even know these labels exist. They’re children. When they get rambunctious, I send them outside or we have a dance party. No one wants to sit still and quiet for hours.

“‘You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or serve them; for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments.
Deuteronomy 5:8-10

In John 5, Jesus asked the man at the pool: “Do you want to get well?”

“Many of us want freedom from pain, but we don’t always want the adversity that comes with spiritual wellness.”
Michelle Lazurek

I am not discounting real physiological illness that can be complex.

We weren’t always in a homeschool environment. As a classroom teacher, I saw all sorts of kids with very real family, medical, and personal problems.

My eldest attended day care and preschool until she was five. When she attended third grade (for a month), the school officials immediately labeled her. Many of her classmates were already labeled. It was a military (DoD) school and medical clinic. They certainly had an agenda.

I see many parents who reveled in their kids’ labels and hid behind them rather than do any real parenting. They’re winging it and perpetuating generational trauma. Many just don’t know any better. And just because a kid has real special needs doesn’t release a parent from setting some boundaries and education.

Many of my students acted differently with me than with other teachers. I treated them differently and tried not to listen to what others had to say about attitudes and behaviors. I gave those kids a chance to be themselves. I respected them. I listened.

I do know very real issues are out there, but I think some doctors and parents are too quick to smack an ADHD label and prescribe an addictive amphetamine rather than evaluate and learn the root of the problem. The doctors don’t have time to do a proper exam or listen to issues.

As a military family, there is little continuity in the medical field. We have new doctors frequently and records don’t get written up well, transferred timely, or read by new staff. We moved every 2-4 years and it’s just really hard to maintain a relationship with the medical staff.

There are many real reasons for the symptoms of ADHD that should be explored. Hormones, environmental causes, brain injury, dietary allergies, or emotional issues. This is not a biological illness as the drug companies and many doctors would have us believe. ADHD is usually a temporary psycho-social disorder that could be managed with therapy and addressing environmental and relational stresses. Drugs should be a last resort and only temporary. We don’t have many longitudinal studies about the effects of these drugs long-term.

The common drugs prescribed for ADHD: Ritalin, Adderall, Concerta, Quillivant, Methylin, Strattera – many highly addictive stimulants – are Schedule II controlled substances (the same category as Oxycontin).

Some help for brain (and physical) health for some people:

Vitamins: especially D, B complex, E, and other antioxidants.
Mineral supplements: magnesium, chromium, selenium
Cod liver oil. Everyone needs this to help maintain mental acuity.
Healthy real food diet. Start by limiting processed snacks and sweets and introducing more fruits and vegetables. Healthy fats and oils instead of trans fats. Be wary when eating out. Even if allergy tests return negative, don’t discount a sensitivity. Do an elimination diet to make sure!
Regular exercise. Get the whole family in the habit.
Outside time. Fresh air and sunshine works wonders.
Therapy. We need to overcome our triggers and generational trauma. We cannot continue to pass this along to our children.
Meds. Perhaps as temporary assistance while undergoing lifestyle changes and therapy.

If it takes two years to gain fifty pounds, it will take many months of hard work to lose weight. Too many Americans want instant gratification in the form of a miracle med that often exacerbates the issues with unwanted side effects. I know too many mothers who are exhausted due to a poor lifestyle during their childhood and youth. It often takes years, much time, and even money to get healthy again. It takes work.

Our lifestyles are a rat race trying to keep up when we really just need to slow down.

How is this affecting our children?

Instead of having a relationship with our children, we look to the screens as babysitters, food as drugs, and drugs as candy.

And we wonder why so many kids are asthmatic, obese, and inattentive? Some parents just aren’t the best role models. They don’t know any better. But kids learn by example. If we had poor role models, shouldn’t we educate ourselves so we can be better stewards of our bodies and teach our kids to be good stewards of their bodies? To leave a legacy of physical and mental health is important.

And I realize that receiving sufficient mental and physical health resources is a privilege many don’t have. It’s very expensive in the USA and there is a societal stigma that we are slowly removing, but kids, women, and people of color still have issues finding and receiving good medical care.

As kids get older, maybe we should ask them if they want the label. We should learn and help them understand the stigma so we can eliminate it in our society. We as an entire society need to shift and heal together.

What I’m NOT saying:

I’m NOT saying that everyone who has weight issues is lazy or a bad parent. Weight issues are quite real and are often hereditary and a sign of many other problems that can take generations to heal with help. Weight doesn’t always equal health. It’s often a struggle. But the medical community loves to only treat symptoms and not look for the reasons behind them. I realize our society has fatphobia.
Not every mom revels in her kids’ labels, disorders, special needs. If a child has a real medical illness, physical disabilities, mental disorders, or special needs, then by all means, doctors, specialists, medical professionals, and recommended services should be used. Use discretion. Just don’t make excuses or use bandaids.
All home and school environments are unique. I have experienced public, private, all levels, homeschool, co-ops…and I have seen all sorts of parents, kids, teachers, and administrators who did and did not serve children well. Learn to recognize toxic and abusive environments and avoid them.

The symptoms of ADHD do exist, but many of the symptoms can be explained by other medical or mental diagnoses.

Helpful: Hamilton Anxiety Rating Scale for ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences)

Even if and when kids are correctly diagnosed with a medical disability, disorder, or disease, they are more than a label.

Resources:

Scattered: How Attention Deficit Disorder Originates and What You Can Do About It by Gabor Maté
When the Body Says No by Gabor Maté
Suffer the Children: The Case against Labeling and Medicating and an Effective Alternative by Marilyn Wedge
Hype: A Doctor’s Guide to Medical Myths, Exaggerated Claims, and Bad Advice – How to Tell What’s Real and What’s Not by Nina Shapiro MD and Kristin Loberg
The Myth of the ADHD Child, Revised Edition: 101 Ways to Improve Your Child’s Behavior and Attention Span Without Drugs, Labels, or Coercion by Thomas Armstrong
The ADHD Explosion: Myths, Medication, Money, and Today’s Push for Performance by Stephen P. Hinshaw and Richard M. Scheffler
The ADD Myth: How to Cultivate the Unique Gifts of Intense Personalities by Martha Burge
The Myth of ADHD and Other Learning Disabilities: Parenting Without Ritalin by Jan Strydom and Susan Du Plessis
Smart but Scattered: The Revolutionary “Executive Skills” Approach to Helping Kids Reach Their Potential by Peg Dawson and Richard Guare
ADHD Does Not Exist: The Truth About Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder by Richard Saul
Eating Mindfully: How to End Mindless Eating and Enjoy a Balanced Relationship with Food by Susan Albers
The Danish Way of Parenting: What the Happiest People in the World Know About Raising Confident, Capable Kids by Jessica Joelle Alexander and Iben Sandahl
Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting by Pamela Druckerman
How Children Learn by John Holt
Free to Learn: Why Unleashing the Instinct to Play Will Make Our Children Happier, More Self-Reliant, and Better Students for Life by Peter Gray
Balanced and Barefoot: How Unrestricted Outdoor Play Makes for Strong, Confident, and Capable Children by Angela J. Hanscom
Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids by Kim John Payne
Free-Range Kids: How Parents and Teachers Can Let Go and Let Grow by Lenore Skenazy
Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships by Marshall B. Rosenberg, PhD
Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers by Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Maté
The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture by Gabor Maté

Pin1

1 Shares

You might also like:

Step Away From the Edge: Depression

This blog may contain affiliate links: disclosure.
Please see my suggested resources.

August 14, 2014 By Jennifer Lambert 5 Comments

I woke up to my social media feeds being inundated with people expressing their love for the iconic Robin Williams. Most were fans, but few seemed to understand that just because he was a professional comedian and actor, he was wealthy, attractive, probably had a loving family…he still was depressed and apparently committed suicide.

Bloggers immediately jumped on this viral topic to gain some pageviews off this tragic event. Parasites.

Some posted images and quotes from movies, commemorating his art. Others begged for mental illness awareness – honorable, that. Still others used this event as a platform to spew hatred and Bible verses down upon the weary.

Because that’s what Jesus wants.

He wants His Word used as a weapon against those who need Love and Truth and Understanding. Those who struggle every.single.day. to just complete menial tasks that you take for granted. Just to get through another day. To breathe. To live.

And I don’t discount The Gospel. We all need His saving grace, but we need people to speak with love and gentleness. The Christian church needs to quit spouting off that depression can just be cured with a magic wand of some joy, joy, joy down in my heart, three sessions of Christian counseling with some pompous pastor’s wife who has no life experience, and more church ministry involvement to keep our minds busier.

I haven’t showered in two days. I have an ear infection. I’m going through the motions of doing dishes and laundry and making peanut butter chocolate chip oatmeal cookie bars. I’m educating my three children really well (gasp!) this week…while I have panic attacks over Liz being away at Civil Air Patrol encampment for.seven.days. These are the longest days ever without her here.

And I remember.

It could’ve been me.

Because I know what I would leave behind.

A husband. Four children. Two cats. Parents. Friends, cousins, acquaintances…a dozen deadlines. They keep me here, plugging along. And I wonder those thoughts you don’t dare admit consciously. Sometimes, everything is so overwhelming. And no one understands.

Depression is not a choice. No one would choose this. No one wants to feel this way. If I had a choice, I’d be any other way but this.

Is it selfish? Maybe. But I felt cornered, alone, lost. Jesus and hope and love seemed far away. We who are trained to never be selfish feel guilt upon guilt and just want it all to stop.

Circumstances don’t matter.

Money and fame don’t mean a thing. Bible verses don’t help. Often, meds don’t help but exacerbate the problems or cause other unpleasantness. We’re surrounded by all these people who love us, but yet we still feel lost and alone. And in the midst of the darkness of depression, the desperation…I don’t hear Jesus. That’s the evil of it. The perfection of the darkness, the loss of self, the hatred of being.

I unconsciously push people away who try to get too close, even my husband and children. It’s not normal. Keeping them at arm’s length is a defense mechanism, a self-deprecating behavior, that we’re not good enough to accept love and affection.

People tell me to “snap out of it” or “pray more” or “seek joy,” as if it were that easy. People tell me to count my blessings. That just makes me feel guilty for still feeling this way. People remind me of my wonderful family and all the places I get to live. Of course, I realize all that, but locale doesn’t make a difference. For all the 1000 reasons to be thankful, if that were enough, then we’d all be shiny happy people all the time.

I was depressed in Georgia.

I was depressed in Texas. (It was triple bad, having had two babies fourteen months apart.)

I was depressed in Hawaii, people. Yes, even there.

I was depressed in Utah. Why doesn’t spring come until July?

I was depressed in Germany. Despite my happy lamp and all the fun travelling.

I manage it. I eat well and use essential oils and supplements.

But it’s always just at bay, waiting to rage down upon me, ravaging everything in its path.

I make sure my vitamin D levels are up. I make sure I get outside in the fresh air and sunshine. I exercise (sometimes), eat right, and drink water. I try not to take too much caffeine or alcohol because I know that can trigger a downward spiral.

I do all the “right” things…and it’s still there. A thorn in my flesh. A dark cloud hanging over my head. The slug who eats all my flower buds.

Pray for us, friends. Be compassionate. Pray for the Williams family. Pray for all the families who have lost loved ones to mental illness and its issues. Pray for all those suffering in silence because of the fear of admitting to the pain. Quit judging and pointing fingers and offering unsolicited advice. Sometimes medicine is the answer.

Don’t say you understand if you don’t. Don’t offer pompous advice if you have no clue what it’s like. Having a friend or loved one who is depressed is not knowing what it’s like.

You can see, but you don’t really understand unless you’ve been on the precipice.

Step away from the edge.

Keep pluggin’ on. Get help if you need it. Please. Don’t give up.

Get help here.

Note: I am not a doctor nor a therapist. These are just some methods that have helped me through the last ten years or so. Perhaps these resources can help others. If you feel hopeless, please tell someone immediately and seek professional help.

There’s always hope.

You might also like:

Moving On

This blog may contain affiliate links: disclosure.
Please see my suggested resources.

June 30, 2014 By Jennifer Lambert 6 Comments

I love having conversations with friends about God because it helps me to work out issues and learn more about myself and God.

That whole iron sharpening iron thing.

Sometimes I just need to be affirmed by other Christians.

When someone says or does something and I think it’s mean, my first reaction is to withdraw, second-guess, question what I did to deserve it.

A few months ago, someone said something inappropriate and mean on my personal Facebook wall and I wallowed in self-pity for a week.

Several of my bloggy friends messaged me to tell me they are sorry for that person’s poor behavior and they are praying about it and the relationship.

Another friend replied on that thread, explaining the way it should be. It left no room for argument.

I felt loved, having so many friends rally to my aid, affirming me, and I had the victory that I didn’t lash out or retaliate (like I kinda wanted to).

I didn’t even reply, because I didn’t trust my words to be edifying. I would have just made the situation worse.

This hasn’t always been the case.

I grew up being taught to look out for number one. It’s been a long hard road to relearn Christ’s way: to turn the other cheek, pray for enemies, move on.

We love because he first loved us.
1 John 4:19 ESV

I know I have a different life, moving around with the military, living on social media and in the blogging world. Many of our friends and most of my family don’t understand or care. Some are even resentful. They don’t comprehend affiliate links or how it would help me and they choose not to pay attention to it at all. They say they feel offended when I post about homeschooling and natural health.

That’s just their own guilty conscience because I never post an attack on anyone. I share posts and write about what matters to me and to educate others.

I respect teachers. I was a teacher before God led us to homeschool. I used to trust all doctors and medicine but now we use essential oils and alternative health with an improved diet.

Sometimes, we just have to move on from toxic relationships and let God sort out the pain and heartache.

Here are some books that have helped me.

0 Shares

You might also like:

When He Has a Headache

This blog may contain affiliate links: disclosure.
Please see my suggested resources.

June 5, 2014 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

So, I’m pretty disgusted with all the books, articles, Bible studies, and blog posts out there encouraging wives to be more available and willing for their husbands.

I’m tired of the church, therapists, bloggers, celebrities, writers, and anyone who perpetuates the myth and societal conditioning that men want sex all the time, anywhere, anyhow, with anyone.

I’ve kinda had it with that.

What if it’s not about a porn addiction? What if the wife has a higher sex drive and isn’t fulfilled? What if everything in the marriage is really pretty great but he’s just not interested in being intimate?

What about when he’s really not interested?

And I don’t mean unable.

We’ve all seen those silly bathtub commercials.

Sometimes, there are lengths of time when he just doesn’t desire intimacy.

What then?

Of course, it’s usually more than a headache. I don’t even try anymore, just to be disappointed.

I have important and fulfilling things to do with my time like read, do dishes, laundry, vacuuming, educating my kids, hiking, bird watching, Netflix, etc.

Communicate.

Of course, try to have a mature conversation about this. It’s a difficult topic and likely embarrassing due to our society and culture programming.

Our society conditions men to be virile and they’re ashamed if their sex drive is low and they don’t feel they can measure up to impossible standards.

Is he avoiding you because you’re a nag or have an ill temper? Then, you need to examine yourself and how you speak to and about your husband. And why.

Stay away from the blame game.

Often, he won’t know why himself and he might defensive and ashamed. Don’t feed those feelings. Try to comfort him and offer support and look for solutions together.

Pray.

Don’t go to your mama, his mama, sisters, friends, or any other male to complain or talk about your sex life.

That’s just opening up all sorts of trouble.

Pray and ask for help.

Pray with your husband if he’s willing. Continue to pray throughout your marriage for everything.

It’s a great habit to pray together and you’ll only experience blessings and peace.

Get tested.

Low testosterone levels in men are more normal than you think.

There are natural treatments to help. Idaho Blue Spruce essential oil is great to help balance and for energy.

A medical physical is always a good place to start to make sure he’s healthy and fit with no underlying medical conditions.

If he’s currently on medication, check the side effects to see if it lowers libido. Then see if he can change to something different without that side effect.

Reduce stress.

Sometimes emotional upheaval is just too much and men shut down.

They’re often not real metacognitive and experience alexithymia and can’t express how stress affects them.

They don’t understand why their bodies react the way they do.

Different schedules often pose problems. If you’re high-fiving each other at the door as one comes home and the other leaves for work, it doesn’t leave much time or energy for much else.

Screens can be distracting, especially in the bedroom. We only have one TV in our house and it’s in the basement. We have one desktop computer in my office. Everyone has an iPad. The adults and teens have smartphones. I like to read at bedtime. My husband watches shows or scrolls social media. This limits our healthy interaction.

Natural whole foods anti-inflammatory diet, regular exercise, sunlight and fresh air are simple ways to help relieve stress when life gets crazy.

Be a good listener and don’t interrupt or offer unsolicited advice.

Stay close.

Perhaps a weekend or overnight mini-vacation is in order. There’s nothing like a change of scenery and no responsibilities – even for a few hours – to help romantic, intimate, sexy feelings.

And if it doesn’t quite work out with heightened stress and expectations, cuddle and just be a couple for a little while.

Also, reduce expectations about what sex is and can be. You don’t have to strip down, have silence and darkness, full vaginal penetration, dual climax, or anything that the books, movies, society claims is good sex. Take it slow and get to know one another again.

Kids, extended family, home, school, jobs take their toll and it’s sometimes nice just to be away to regroup.

Get counseling.

Sometimes, there’s just something more going on and you need a professional to help sort it out.

I have a friend whose husband had this Madonna complex once she became a mother. He couldn’t look at her like a wife or woman anymore. It was sad for them.

There could be underlying psychological issues from his past rearing their heads for various reasons.

Often, military men experience PTSD from their jobs and deployments. This affects them in ways that are difficult to understand.

There is certainly still stigma surrounding counseling and meds, especially in the military. No, he won’t lose his security clearance. It’s not weakness to get help in order to live a full and satisfying life.

People experiencing depression and anxiety often do not desire sex or intimacy – or anything else they used to enjoy.

Perhaps it really comes down to:

Does he see the problem?
Can he communicate about the issues?
Is he willing to get help?
Does he love me enough to find out causes and seek solutions?
Will he put in the time and effort it takes to improve our marriage?

If the answer is no to any of these, then there are other issues that need to be addressed as well.

It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it’s for the purposes of prayer and fasting—but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. I’m not, understand, commanding these periods of abstinence—only providing my best counsel if you should choose them. 1 Corinthians 7:2-6 (MSG)

Resources:

The Marriage You Want: Moving beyond Stereotypes for a Relationship Built on Scripture, New Data, and Emotional Health by Sheila Wray Gregoire and Dr. Keith Gregoire
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert by John M. Gottman
The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships by John Gottman
Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
Love Worth Making: How to Have Ridiculously Great Sex in a Long-Lasting Relationship by Stephen Snyder M.D.
Come As You Are: Revised and Updated: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski Ph.D.
Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Esther Perel
The Sex-Starved Marriage: Boosting Your Marriage Libido: A Couple’s Guide by Michele Weiner Davis

Pin7

7 Shares

You might also like:

I Attempted Suicide

This blog may contain affiliate links: disclosure.
Please see my suggested resources.

April 9, 2013 By Jennifer Lambert 27 Comments

I am a survivor of an attempted suicide.

I spent Christmas 1997 in a series of hospital environments because I attempted to commit suicide.

Essentially, I was locked up for my own safety for over a week.

I had reached a breaking point.

Circumstances beyond my control, that were not my fault, wreaked havoc on my sensitive heart, mind, and soul. I have always felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. I want to help everyone, fix everything.

I was twenty years old.

The world was not my responsibility.

My parents were not my responsibility.

Friends were not my responsibility.

I should’ve been carefree and fancy free and my biggest worry should have been only my next semester classes at college. And they weren’t strenuous. I was in my last year.

My parents weren’t divorced. They fought. They were stressed. But they were together.

There were no drugs or abuse stories. Nothing exciting or tawdry there. No soap opera.

Normal boring middle class white kid with a brilliant future ahead of her.

Sure, there was that whole lack of trust, angst, misunderstood thing. First world problems. I should have occupied my time with meaningful activities. I wonder if that would have helped or just delayed the inevitable.

So, why? you’re probably asking. I’m hoping everyone who reads this will wonder and cannot relate. I hope and pray you never reach a breaking point like I did.

Depression and anxiety are very real. And in the midst of it, thinking clearly is seldom an option. Depression sucks the life and hope from your soul. Anxiety is all-encompassing and there is no rationale for those fears and worries. And I was not a Christian then.

I was lost.

In so many ways.

I felt abandoned. I felt stifled.

Helpless. Hopeless. Pointless. Worthless. Less than.

I was right where the devil wanted me.

I don’t feel I need to go into too many details. A bottle of pills. An ambulance. Lots of scary lights and loud voices.

Fear. So much fear. And I gave in to it.

It was a close call. It was a cry for help. I didn’t really receive the kind of help I thought I wanted at the time. My body was saved. The doctors said it was a miracle I didn’t damage any organs. I was perfectly fine after the drugs were removed from my system.

But it would be many years yet before my mind and soul would be fine.

I had to walk down that road. I had to be completely broken to accept true healing.

Essentially, I know God saved me. For a purpose. I didn’t realize anything then.

I really just wanted the pain to stop. It just hurt to be alive. It hurt to see others hurting themselves and each other. It hurt me to witness that. Since I couldn’t stop it, I wanted out. Like gasping for air, or clawing out of a hole, I just wanted freedom.

That kind of freedom isn’t escape. It’s bondage. When we believe those dark lies and spiral down into the pit of despair, it’s not escape. It’s fear. It’s ragged hopelessness that it will ever improve. And being oh, so alone in it.

Only Jesus is Freedom. But I couldn’t accept that yet.

But too many Christians are depressed and are not finding the help they seek within the Church or compassion from Christians. Why is that?

When I search online for depression and Christians, all the articles are shallow and unhelpful. They preach that Christians shouldn’t experience mental health problems because we believe in Jesus! Our experiences are discounted, unvalidated, and we feel even worse, so we shut up those feelings even more inside. We hurt in silence, alone.

Did you know that after a suicide attempt, you are locked up against your will for your own safety? It’s the law.

It felt like more punishment.

I experienced a couple weeks of in-house therapy and meds after my attempt. I lost almost ten pounds and I was only about 125 then! The other patients frightened me too. They seemed really quite ill in a different way than I felt I was. Many had attempted suicide multiple times and had lots of other issues. They were all so kind. I felt so out of place.

The therapists, of course, were not Christian. They were very New Age and humanistic. I got so many mixed messages about following my dreams no matter the cost to others. Please myself and let others go. Grow up and take responsibility for my actions. I was right and everything else was wrong. I was too young and inexperienced and just a lost little girl who needed her parents to guide her because I was too fragile to function on my own.

I think therapists just tell you what you want to hear. I didn’t know what to believe. The staff almost treated me like an adult, but then again, made me feel like a naughty little girl who disobeyed and rebelled against my attentive and loving parents. My parents were just mad at me.

Where was Jesus? He carried me, but I didn’t know.

Where was compassion or any real help? Where was the empathy?

No one understood.

I was eventually released. Too soon. Too little gained. So much lost.

Back to my parents’ house. Where I felt like was a little child again. They tiptoed around me, walking on eggshells, quiet and fearful. Where many rules were enforced and reinforced. No social activity for me. I felt like I was on restriction for a misbehavior. It was surreal.

I had no autonomy. I couldn’t individuate. I couldn’t grow or function normally.

I was medicated on Prozac, that go-to drug at that time, before other, somewhat safer alternatives were known or appreciated.

I did not function well on Prozac. The side effects were horrible. I felt so out of control with overwhelming emotions all the time. One of the weirdest things is that I would sleep exactly eight hours to the minute each night. Physically, I felt great.

I was still lost.

I had nothing to do while I waited for school to start again. No job. No friends. I was an embarrassment. To my family, friends. To myself.

Shortly after returning home, my mom took me to the mall. Retail therapy, I suppose. At the ice cream shop, I waited patiently for the clerk to finish cleaning up something so I could order a cone. Another lady apparently needed an ice cream fix so badly that she rudely shouldered me out of the way to order. I glared at her in frustration. I had been obviously standing there a while and she just walked up! Inside, I really wanted to hurt her. I’ve always been rather passive, letting it go when things like that happen. It’s not worth it. It’s just easier to let it go than confront people over situations like that that don’t really matter. My mind wandered to how I wanted to confront her and I stood there, daydreaming I slapped her. My palm itched almost uncontrollably. I was shaking when I sat down at a table with my ice cream. I could hardly enjoy the treat. I was scared of myself. I was frightened by the level of my anger. Over something so meaningless. That I would ordinarily shrug off.

It was frightening. The memory is so vivid that it makes me sick to my stomach. My palms still itch when I remember.

After a month or so, my life really fell apart, because nothing was fixed. Nothing was different. Everyone wanted to pretend it all away. But that’s another story for another day.

I think the suicide of Rick Warren’s son is a wake-up call to Christians. That poor boy hurt so badly that he desired to leave this world. It was too much for him. The world wakes up again with Robin Williams’ death. Many celebrities recently have chosen to end their lives, leaving behind devastated spouses and precious children and sad fans. But everyone just wants to argue and be pompous or saddened while nothing changes and no one is compassionate and few are helped. There is no empathy.

It’s not for us to understand or judge. But I think we should help each other more. We should try harder to support one another through trials. I think a lot of depression and anxiety is spiritual warfare. How easy to confuse Christians with a fog of mental darkness. We’re blinded too easily. And have no one and nowhere to turn for help.

Depression is evil.

What can we do?

Pray.

Prayer is powerful to ward off evil forces. Pray for light and protection from evil. Pray for the body’s chemistries to be healed and aligned. Find a prayer partner or group. Pray that our children will not share in this legacy. It’s often not the endall beall to healing, but it’s a beginning. Ask friends, family members, your church to pray. I often journal scripture, poetry, and prayer. Meditation and contemplation is great too.

Read.

Read holy books out loud. Do a Bible concordance search. Many of the prophets suffered from depression. Get a good Bible study. Again, this is often not the only help depression needs to heal. But it’s a great start. Get an accountability partner. Ask your pastor or church leadership for help and prayer. If they scoff at your illness, find a new church. Self-help books are great places to start for answers. Sometimes, I like to read about the struggles of others or just a sappy book.

Fellowship.

I rarely feel like it. It takes a lot of effort for me to be around people and be social. But when I hole up away from people, that’s when the darkness likes to creep in. It’s worse to be alone with it. Connection matters.

Take care of yourself, physically.

When I don’t feel well, then my emotions run down too. Eat right. Exercise. Get out in the sunshine whenever possible. Drink water. Dance. Play with your kids. Take cod liver oil. Diffuse essential oils to help boost your mood. Get a Happy Lampfor those dark days of winter. I know it’s hard.

Occupy your mind.

If your mind has too much free time and it wanders to negative thoughts, occupy it. Write. Start a blog. Read a book. Take up a hobby like art or woodworking. Learn to play music. Do a puzzle. Play a game. Learn something along with your spouse or child, sibling, or friend. Volunteer with children or the elderly. Go to church. Exercise. Take a class. Feed the birds. Get a pet. Create arts and crafts. Do good.

Counseling.

I know there are good counselors out there. You can also turn to trusted friends or family members. It might be hard to open up and be honest with yourself and others. {Do you think writing this post was easy?} Let the Holy Spirit guide you. Don’t be afraid to say no after a meeting or two and find someone else. Some secular therapists might be better to meet your needs. Here’s a good guide and checklist to finding a therapist.

Medication.

I know some people’s bodies just need help leveling out. Like high blood pressure or high cholesterol, you may need meds for your serotonin and/or dopamine levels. (I have never found a med that I could cope with, but you may have great success.)

Depression and anxiety are real illnesses.

Don’t judge people who take a pill for depression because I know you don’t judge those who take a pill for diabetes. Some people need meds just occasionally. Others need it daily for an extended time. Find a physician who can work with you, a therapist, your family, your needs, to find the right combination for your needs. I’ve tried different meds and I didn’t like any of them with their side effects. But I respect those who do need them and find they help.

People have told me that they didn’t know I have issues with depression.

What do I say to that? Should I be glad that it doesn’t show? Should I be proud that I’ve hidden it well? It’s not something people often discuss in polite company. Most shy away from mental illness conversations. There’s a societal stigma that we’ve done something to deserve this or we should be able to “snap out of it.”

I often hear phrases like, “Just smile more. Just be happy. Just imagine you’re in your happy place. What do you have to be sad about?”

And people can experience short-term blues, sure.

That is not depression.

People who have never experienced mental illness can’t possibly understand.

Contact a suicide hotline for help.

Suicide is selfish. It’s a cry for help. It’s a last resort. It’s because we have no voice or feel like no one hears us. We’re so desperate that we have to be that selfish.

I hold on during my darkest days because I have responsibilties to my children and husband. I want to be there for their future.

As Christians, we often think that we can’t or shouldn’t feel that way, ever. How can we love and serve Jesus and still be depressed? But I often am. I know others struggle too. Maybe it’s just our fallen world. Perhaps it’s our thorn we must bear. Maybe some of us are more empathetic than others. We feel everything more.

I think it hurts even more now that I am a Christian. But Jesus helps me bear it, especially when other Christians disappoint or hurt me.

I feel more acutely aware of others’ pain. I think that’s seeing with the eyes of Jesus. And if I hurt like this, what must He feel?

And what can I do about it?

It helps to serve others and take action to ease another’s burden.

There’s always hope.

My friend, Amanda, tells it like it is. She’s not scared. I hope her book helps you like it helped me: Finding Joy in Depression. I highly recommend it and there are some great resource links in it too.

More Help:

Homeschooling through Depression
How Kids Can Talk to Parents About Depression
Treating and Living with Anxiety
Addiction and Depression: Treating Co-Occurring Disorders
A Navigation Guide to Self-Discovery During Your Addiction Recovery Journey
Recognizing and Treating Depression During Pregnancy
Marriage and Mental Health: How to Cope When Your Spouse Has Been Diagnosed with Schizophrenia
7 Tips for Creating a Healthy and Positive Work Environment
A Healthy Home is a Happy Home: How to Optimize Your Home for Healthy, Stress-free Living
8 Common Misbeliefs about Suicide
Resources for Parents with Children with Mental Health Problems
For Teachers: Children’s Mental Health Disorder Fact Sheet for the Classroom
Promoting Mental Health at Home: How to Design the Perfect Meditation Room
Free Downloads
5 Ways to Use Feng Shui in Your Home Design
Drug Abuse and Addiction: Recognizing the Signs and Symptoms of Drug Addiction
Swift River Centers
Elderly Mental Health: How to Help Your Senior
Coping with the Loss of a Loved One

Pin32

32 Shares

You might also like:

Balancing Act

This blog may contain affiliate links: disclosure.
Please see my suggested resources.

October 11, 2012 By Jennifer Lambert 3 Comments

I’ve been reading many posts lately from bloggy friends about their struggles with anger and depression.

While my heart goes out to them, it’s so good to know that I’m not alone. I think it’s important for us to be transparent with our struggles so we can help each other through them. Online communities are great places for us to feel safe to reveal a part of ourselves without judgment. I think Jesus is blessing us through these Christian outreach programs. Moms need outlets and, seriously, who has the time or money to go to therapy? Or a spa?

While I would never confess to my Sunday school class the history or extent of my anger or depression issues, it seems more than ok to blog about it to the world. Are we that anonymous? I feel more love reaching out to me from strangers on the Interwebz than from real world acquaintances.

So, it’s time to get real, y’all.

While most people who know me in real life seem to think I have it all together, I know that I am just moments away from a total breakdown. The balancing act is so fragile that it takes all my efforts to maintain this façade of ease. I have battled depression since my childhood.

I could regale you with all sorts of sad tales of my miserable experiences at school, but I will suffice it to say that I had major anxiety that led to weekly migraines. I am absolutely socially inept. Being raised in the South, this was a nightmare for my socially adept mother. I just didn’t participate in social events. She still has not forgiven me for not attending senior prom.

Education became my escape. It was something I could lose myself in and not have to face reality. I wasted much time taking worthless college classes to postpone graduation. It was an idol. I was not a Christian.

When the inevitable graduation loomed, coupled with the abandonment of a boyfriend (an extremely unhealthy relationship), I attempted suicide.

God had plans for me. I should not have survived.

The resurrection of my life was slow and painful. My relationship with my parents was in shambles. The boyfriend was devastated and confused and regretful.

So we got married.

Misery.

That fear of reality? Oh yeah. Wham, in my face.

So I had a lovely worthless BA in English. I completed my M.Ed. I taught high school English.

We got divorced.

But I have my Elizabeth.

Jesus found me.

I lost five jobs in two years. Unprofessionalism. Anger issues. Relationship issues.

Church people betrayed me.

When I had virtually no prospects for my future, a mortgage, a car payment, a young daughter developing issues of her own…

God brought me Aaron.

And Aaron picked up the pieces. Just like the Humpty Dumpty nursery rhyme.

It’s so difficult for me to reconcile my past with my present.

My superiority complex means I hate myself more than you could ever…

Jesus forgives but I can never forget.

It took me a looooooong time to get comfortable with this whole stay at home mom thing. It really sucks sometimes that I have all this formal education and no one to whom to impart all this built up knowledge. I get frustrated that I seem to do the same drudgery each and every day with no appreciation. It seems like so little to impact the world. I feel so worthless.

My husband gets to bank blood from American soldiers to pump into wounded soldiers in Afghanistan. It may be hard to take seeing those poor people fight, but at least it’s something more than brainless domestic duties. He’s actively helping people and making a difference in the world.

At least I don’t hide in the closet anymore. God has seen me through terrible times. I am now able to look back at how I’ve grown. Aaron has loved me and saved me from myself. Both loved me before I loved myself. Both know that I am more than I was. Both are healing me.

But still I struggle. I forget. I stumble down that dark hallway. It gets so hard to find my way out again. I see the confused looks on my kids’ faces when I snap at them for no reason or break a promise because I don’t feel well enough or forget to plan a meal. It breaks my heart. I don’t want to be like this. Why does it have to be so difficult?

It shouldn’t be.

So, nowadays I struggle with seemingly silly stuff. (ooh, alliteration!)

I loathe doing dishes. I mean, even loading the dishwasher. It makes me feel all icky to get my hands greasy. It’s my least favorite chore. ew

I really don’t like pushing my two-year-old on the swing in the backyard. I hang my head in shame. I know that makes me the worst mommy ever. I’d really just rather read on the sofa and watch from the window.

I am not a crafter. Messy projects make me cringe. I wish I was more into art. In my head, it looks so appealing, but then I have to clean it all up. Again, the shame!

I struggle a great deal with menu planning and budgeting. I get great ideas. I get inspired (and disgusted) with all the great (and not so great) menu plans online. I don’t bother to post any of mine here because they usually fly out the window. I can stick with a menu for maybe a week. I just drew one up for October and it’s already fallen flat a couple times. We spend way too much money on food. We like to eat well and use all the best ingredients, but it’s getting ridiculous to have tenderloin with six mouths to feed. And bacon prices are going up? Guess we better buy some hogs and go into homesteading or something.

While this is mostly a homeschool blog, there’s only so much I can take with snapping pictures of my kids doing math or looking cute. Most of the time, we just do whatever it takes to get through the day. Again, the guilt sets in when I see all the great science experiments and arts projects all over the blog world. And, y’all, this is beyond the blog envy I recently read about in the blog world. I feel physically ill that I am not a good enough homeschool mama to my darlins because we don’t do all these fun activities.

I just get so overwhelmed sometimes. Attempting to figure how to balance everything: exercising, housework, frugal shopping, blogging, cooking, appearances, homeschooling, flossing. Am I the only one who stresses over flossing? I told my husband tonight that I should just complete all the reviews I have pending and delete the blog because I simply cannot do it all.

But I won’t.

I will wait until this season passes. I will take my vitamins and exercise and read God’s word. I will get through this. These seasons are getting shorter and better. Perhaps someday, they will cease to come at all.

You might also like:

Love Hurts

This blog may contain affiliate links: disclosure.
Please see my suggested resources.

October 5, 2012 By Jennifer Lambert 1 Comment

So, at Katie’s soccer practice, I’m sitting in my van, reading, and I see this mother of 4 boys walking to her van. Two school age, one in the preschool soccer, and a baby. She started screeching at the 2nd one, probably 5 years old or so, to not get dirty. She just berated him. It was really beyond scolding. Her tone was grating and mean. He was dressed neater than the others, so maybe he was going somewhere else afterwards and shouldn’t have gotten dirt on his clothes, shoes, or hands. Of course, I don’t know her circumstances. I don’t know her children. I don’t know what her day has been like. Is her husband deployed or working a late shift? She didn’t speak to her other 3 as far as I knew while loading the baby into his carseat and packing up the stroller. I felt sorry for her eldest. He glanced at me and I smiled forlornly at him. He didn’t return my smile. If she talks to those boys like this in public, what must it be like at home? They’re just little boys. My heart broke.

I know I’ve spoken harshly to my kids. I regret it. I’m sure there have been times I didn’t even apologize. My expectations might be misguided or I might not take into consideration their circumstances or my own. Is she hungry or tired? Does he just need some water? Does she need some alone time away from her siblings to recharge? I know I’m more snappish when I’m tired or hungry or hormonal. I’m a poor example to expect them to always be cheerfully obedient when I am not. I’m a poor example when I snap at my husband (whether or not they witness it). It’s the failures we all remember more than the successes. The niceties and pleasant days are too easily forgotten and the contempt, condescension, sarcasm, and other childishness is always remembered and comes back to haunt us in every argument.

I’m sure the devil loves these little phenomena. He’s laughing his horns off that we Christians struggle as much or more in our marriages and parenting than non-Christians. Why is that? The world makes it so easy to get caught up in unimportant activities and events that hinder our testimony. We may attend church and do all the “right” things, but where is our heart? We struggle with resentments and human frailties. But we are so, so blessed.

Don’t push each other away in your pain. Lean closer and accept the love.

Corrie ten Boom understood this so well:

Do you know what hurts so very much? It’s love. Love is the strongest force in the world, and when it is blocked that means pain. There are two things we can do when this happens. We can kill that love so that it stops hurting. But then, of course, part of us dies, too. Or we can ask God to open up another route for that love to travel.

People lash out when they’re hurting.

I don’t want to lash out at my children.

They deserve better.

The director of Christian education at our church recently approached me to ask if Aaron and I would teach an adult Sunday school class on marriage and parenting. She also mentioned to me that most of the kids who attend our church regularly never pray or see a Bible except during our Sunday school classes. That tells me so much about our “Christian” families. She then told me that she “knows we’re doing it right” since the girls tell her all about the Bible study we do. Way to put on the pressure! I’ll tell ya: it’s often a struggle to fit it all in. Isn’t it as important or even more so than math, science, grammar? Bible study with the kids every morning, quiet time on my own (almost) every night, devotionals with my eldest daughter once a week, reviewing her Bible history studies…they’re starting to really get it now, though, at ages 5, 6, 11…they see Christ in so much! It is humbling to me.

So, having all this responsibility just makes it so worse when I snap at my kids or husband. Shouldn’t I do better? Shouldn’t I have it more under control than that poor woman with her four boys? Shouldn’t I be a better example? I fail and I fail and I fail at that which I long to do better. Just like Paul.

I recently taught the kids about anger when I realized Katie needed some coping strategies, but I think we all benefited. We’re working through it together. Hopefully, they will grow up having learned sooner rather than later.

Do you struggle with anger issues?

Here are some sites that may help:

Mommy Anger Management Series from Meet Penny

Parenting and Anger Series from Creative with Kids, which is a safe haven community to discuss anger issues.

0 Shares

You might also like:

Anger Management for Kids

This blog may contain affiliate links: disclosure.
Please see my suggested resources.

September 18, 2012 By Jennifer Lambert 2 Comments

I cannot tell you how excited I was to come across this anger management lesson!

We’ve been experiencing some anger issues with our girls and this was an answer to prayer!

I printed it all out and laminated the posters. We took three days to go over the posters and fill in the booklets. I went over it with all the children. Elizabeth should be too old at almost 12, but she needs it too! Alex is young at 2.5, but he understood a lot of it!

I used a dry erase board to write our strategies on for the little girls to copy. We did the lessons together on the floor so we could all feel equal and the girls used their lap desks. We also needed to stay close to Alex and help him with his activities. It worked out beautifully.

We first discussed finding healthy outlets for our anger.

Rather than using angry eyes or cutting (more often in tone) words. Honestly, these are our worst issues. I think that’s pretty good. We’ve gotten beyond the throwing and hitting and total out of control stuff for the most part. There is the occasional time that Alex and Katie really get into it, but it’s getting rarer.

Katie and Tori loved filling in the booklets and coloring the birds. Each bird represents some aspect of anger or a management tool. I love it!

We suggested some cool down methods.

She can draw a picture when she is really angry or she can rip up paper that we can designate for that purpose. Elizabeth had anger issues at this age too and she offered advice on how she overcame it. She still gets angry, but she’s so much better now that she’s older. Tori is usually so sweet, but she often irritates Katie, so it’s good she realizes that she can be a trigger.

Liz and Tori fill in their booklets and color their birds. We love visuals.

We really focused on peacemaking.

I used our Child Training Bible to go through the anger and quarreling sections and we learned that it’s ok to feel anger, but never to sin in anger. We talked about how anger just upsets the whole family if it’s not handled maturely.

Tori and Katie loved hearing the story of Jesus being angry and overturning the tables in the temple. They have been helping each other when they see the anger danger signs. They know their anger triggers and are learning how to deal with them without losing self-control.

We discussed cooling down.

Like how we can put ourselves in a time out by isolating ourselves from others if we can’t control our anger. We can go to our room or “bird’s nest” to calm down. If they need the “eagle” they know to get me (Mom) to help out.

We learned about forgiveness.

I often suggest to Katie that she go to her room to collect herself. This is not a punishment but a time to cool down and pray. She is learning and getting better at self-control. They have always been taught to pray to Jesus to help them forgive. They are so good at forgiving after calming down. It’s always the heat of the moment that they just get irritated with each other.

Katie has the more difficult time being the youngest girl and the little brother knows how to push her buttons and she reacts and gets very upset. She has been so much better these last few days since we went through this training.

All the kids are noticing anger danger signs and reminding each other not to use angry eyes or cutting words and to go to a bird’s nest if they need to cool down. It’s great to have these visuals for the kids to understand and associate with a much-loved game!

These printables helped us work through our feelings of anger!

Resources:

What to Do When Your Temper Flares: A Kid’s Guide to Overcoming Problems With Anger (What-to-Do Guides for Kids Series) by Dawn Huebner
A Little SPOT of Anger: A Story About Managing BIG Emotions (Inspire to Create A Better You!) by Diane Alber
Anger Management Workbook for Kids: 50 Fun Activities to Help Children Stay Calm and Make Better Choices When They Feel Mad (Health and Wellness Workbooks for Kids) by Samantha Snowden, MA
Seeds and Trees: A children’s book about the power of words by Brandon Walden
When I Am Angry: Kids Books about Anger by Gordon Michael
I Feel Angry: Children’s picture book about anger management for kids age 3-5 by Aleks Harrison

0 Shares

You might also like: