Jennifer Lambert

A Sacred Balance

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5 Best Life Skills Books for Teens

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June 8, 2017 By Jennifer Lambert 22 Comments

We try to prepare our kids for the world. We get through all the academics. We take them to sports, dance, music lessons, chess club. We do the field trips. Sometimes, it seems like certain skills slip through the cracks.

Life skills are important. I don’t want my kids let loose in the world without some proper basics.

Sometimes, books are the best teacher. Sure, you can learn really everything on YouTube and other Internet sites, but having some reference material is always a good idea.

These make great graduation gifts too!

My top five life skills books for teens:

  1. A Good Cookbook

    My suggestion: Better Homes and Gardens New Cook Book

    Since 1930, home cooks have turned to Better Homes and Gardens New Cook Book for guidance in the kitchen. This new edition includes more than 1,200 recipes, 1,000 color photos, and more tips and how-to information than ever. Teens and young adults need to know more than how to make a box of mac and cheese! I still have my grandmother’s copy!

  2. An Etiquette Book

    My suggestion: How Rude!: The Teen Guide to Good Manners, Proper Behavior, and Not Grossing People Out by Alex J. Packer

    In 480 pages, this edition describes the basics of polite behavior in all kinds of situations at home, in school, online, and in the world. I grew up with Emily Post and Miss Manners. This approach might be more interesting!

  3. A Leadership Book

    My suggestion: What I Wish I Knew at 18: Life Lessons for the Road Ahead by Dennis Trittin

    The book is organized into nine powerful chapters and 109 life success pointers that build leadership skills and prepare readers for key upcoming life decisions. Through stories and instruction, it helps young people develop a healthy life perspective, model strong character, build and sustain new relationships, overcome adversity, and become productive and wise decision makers. Also, it shares powerful strategies to succeed in college, career, family, and finances. This is just a great leadership book with words of wisdom.

  4. A Health Book

    My suggestions for GIRLS:

    Cycle Savvy: The Smart Teen’s Guide to the Mysteries of Her Body by Toni Weschler

    Answers that will help you understand what is really happening with your body on a day-to-day basis. It’s the first book specifically designed to teach young women about the practical benefits of charting their cycles. Explore the fascinating world of ovulation, fertility, and why you even have periods at all! And learn all about the body signals, mood changes, and other signs that accompany your cycle. This book was recommended to us by a doula friend of mine and it is wonderful!

    Girling Up: How to Be Strong, Smart and Spectacular by Mayim Bialik

    Growing up as a girl in today’s world is no easy task. Juggling family, friends, romantic relationships, social interests and school…sometimes it feels like you might need to be a superhero to get through it all! But really, all you need is little information.

    Want to know why your stomach does a flip-flop when you run into your crush in the hallway? Or how the food you put in your body now will affect you in the future? What about the best ways to stop freaking out about your next math test?

    Using scientific facts, personal anecdotes, and wisdom gained from the world around us, Mayim Bialik, the star of The Big Bang Theory, shares what she has learned from her life and her many years studying neuroscience to tell you how you grow from a girl to a woman biologically, psychologically and sociologically.

    And as an added bonus, Girling Up is chock-full of charts, graphs and illustrations — all designed in a soft gray to set them apart from the main text and make them easy to find and read.

    Want to be strong? Want to be smart? Want to be spectacular? You can! Start by reading this book.

    My suggestion for BOYS (reader recommendation!): Lintball Leo’s Not-So-Stupid Questions About Your Body by Walt Larimore, MD 

    “Everything a boy should know, but won’t ask!” Finally, everything you wanted to know about your body, but you’ve just been too chicken to ask. This is the first book for boys that gives honest answers to real questions about your body from a biblical perspective. No, you’re not falling apart—you’re just growing up! But there’s no need to fear, when Lintball Leo is near. He’s your personal guide to understanding your body. With information about everything from steroid use to body parts, there’s not a question Lintball Leo hasn’t heard. These aren’t questions some adult made up, but they’re real questions asked by real boys just like you. You want to know the truth? Now you can, because Lintball Leo’s Not–So-Stupid Questions About Your Body gives you the facts—no holds barred! I plan to get this for my son real soon.

    Another reader recommendation for boys:

    Guy Stuff: The Body Book for Boys by Cara Natterson

    This book will provide you with the answers that will help you take care of yourself better, from hair care to healthy eating, bad breath to shaving, acne to voice changes, and everything in between. With tips, how-tos, and facts from a real pediatrician, it’s the perfect book to help you learn about your body’s changes.

    Boying Up: How to Be Brave, Bold and Brilliant by Mayim Bialik

    Why does my voice crack like that? What should I eat to build muscle? How do I talk to someone I have a crush on? What do I do if someone calls me names or bullies me?

    Growing from a boy to a man is no easy task. Bodies are changing, social circles are evolving, hair is appearing in places it never was before — and on top of it all, there’s the ever-present pressure to conform to the typical idea of what it means to be “manly” and masculine. But it’s easier to do if you’re armed with facts.

    Using personal anecdotes as an overly observant mother of two boys and plenty of scientific information from her life as a neuroscientist, Mayim Bialik, PhD, star of The Big Bang Theory, talks directly to teen boys about what it means to grow from a boy to a man biologically, psychologically, and sociologically. Using the same cool, fun, and friendly tone that she took in Girling Up, Mayim takes boys–and their parents!–through the challenges and triumphs of Boying Up today.

    In six sections (How Boys Bodies Work; How Boys Grow; How Boys Learn; How Boys Cope; How Boys Love; and How Boys Make a Difference), she takes a look at what it means for boys to come of age in today’s world, how can they take control of their paths, and what can they do to help shape the types of futures they want for themselves.

  5. An Organization Book

    My suggestion: Smart but Scattered Teens: The “Executive Skills” Program for Helping Teens Reach Their Potential by Richard Guare, Peg Dawson, Colin Guare

    This positive guide provides a science-based program for promoting teens’ independence by building their executive skills–the fundamental brain-based abilities needed to get organized, stay focused, and control impulses and emotions. It’s great to work through together! This book is helpful to set up organization methods for teens to be independent.

Bonus Book:

Girls Garage: How to Use Any Tool, Tackle Any Project, and Build the World You Want to See by Emily Pilloton

Do you have any other favorite books for teens or life skills?

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Teaching By Example with Chores

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April 24, 2014 By Jennifer Lambert 15 Comments

We like to train our children from very early on to help out at home. We also train the older kids to help the younger kids, teaching them and kindly guiding them to do jobs well and completely.

I expect the older ones to give grace and not be too demanding. This helps build teamwork and leadership skills.

Working together is important. Teaching helps us learn a task completely, when students ask questions or do something differently, it expands our knowledge base.

I use some of these times to teach my older kids the difference between being a leader and being a boss.

Let them help in a real way from the time they are toddlers, rather than assuming they need to be otherwise distracted while we do the work.

Kids benefit from REAL responsibilities.

A basic list of various household chore ideas by age.

These are what my kids are and were able to accomplish. Every child and family is different.

These are tasks my kids complete daily or weekly. And of course, each level can do the previous level work.

I have learned to not say no if my child wishes to do a chore. Even if that chore doesn’t need to be done. That window or mirror could be wiped every hour, but my son does it so cheerfully, why would I discourage him?

Toddlers (under age 3)

Model to them how to help.

Babies want to be with Mama. Mama has to do chores. I often wore my babies while doing chores too.

Babies and toddlers love it when you narrate what you’re doing. This teaches them language, relationship, and work ethic, and skills.

I began training my babies to help as soon as they were able to sit up on their own. They love helping. It’s amazing what they’re capable of doing if you let them!

We start with the lessons that we always clean up our messes and finish what we begin. We establish routine and structure to our days.

  • Folding towels or napkins and helping to put them away
  • Sorting laundry by colors and throwing sorted clothes in the washer
  • Slicing soft fruits (use a safe knife)
  • Helping to set the table
  • Put toys away (with lots of guidance, encouragement, games and songs, and help)
  • Push buttons to begin dishwasher or laundry cycles (my kids always begged to do that!)
  • Wipe a mirror or cabinet with a cleaning cloth

Preschoolers (ages 3-5)

I love preschoolers with their “I do it!” attitude. They want to do everything themselves.

Let them.

Encourage them to contribute. They love it. Even if it’s more work for you. Don’t ever let them see you go back and fix it!

I am amazed at how independent kids can be if you just allow them the freedom to try. I wish I hadn’t been so anxious with my daughters. By the time my son Alex came along, I was relaxed and loved to just sit back and watch what he would do on his own. He impresses me. He can complete multi-step commands very well!

I encourage critical thinking by asking what we need to do next rather than giving commands.

  • making a bed
  • cleaning up toys (with lots of encouragement, help, a game or song) – I often tell him to get started and I come around to help him finish.
  • slicing fruits or vegetables (we love these knives)
  • sorting laundry, helping to switch it from washer to dryer, folding and putting away
  • setting the table
  • sweeping the floor (they need help with the dustpan part)
  • vacuuming (my kids are strong – our vacuum cleaner weighs a ton!) but we also have a small vacuum for small cleanups
  • spray and wipe mirrors, cabinets, doors, doorknobs with a cleaning cloth
  • help empty trashcans
  • feed and water pets

Primary (ages 6-8)

This is really the golden age.

These kids are still cheerful and helpful about chores. My middle children were a beautiful thing at this age. They were compliant and agreeable and regularly came to me, asking: what more can we do to help?

My kids totally embarrassed a friend of mine when they stayed with her so Aaron and I could spend a weekend in the mountains on a marriage retreat. They cooked, cleaned (even wiped down her kitchen cabinets in and out), and were just very, very, very helpful. She now expects way more of her own kids (who are the same age as my younger three) since mine were so capable. (I’m proud!)

I encourage my kids to accept personal responsibility with words and actions. For example, if they lose a library book, they have to earn the replacement cost or late fee.

  • laundry with supervision
  • setting and clearing the table
  • unload and load the dishwasher
  • sweeping and mopping (still help with that blasted dustpan)
  • vacuuming
  • dusting
  • helping in the kitchen with food prep
  • cooking simple items with supervision
  • keeping bedroom, play space, and school work neat and organized (with help)
  • sorting clothes for donation, resale, or rag bin
  • help with gardening or yard work
  • wiping down bathrooms
  • getting the mail
  • putting groceries away

Tweens (ages 9-12)

This is the age when chores have lost their magic.

These kids start expecting to earn an allowance or extra privileges for doing chores they’ve done since they were in diapers. They live in my house, eat my food, use my water and electricity, and occasionally get new clothes. They must do chores. They must contribute to the common good. I teach them to make to do lists. We try to make chores fun and dance and listen to music and play games. Occasionally, they can do extra chores for pay to help learn responsibility.

  • laundry
  • dishes
  • cooking simple meals
  • keeping bedroom, play space, and school work neat and organized
  • gardening and yard work
  • cutting the grass
  • cleaning the car, inside and out
  • cleaning kitty litter boxes
  • putting garbage cans on the curb (and bring them back to the garage)
  • pet sitting or dog walking

Teens (ages 13+)

By the time kids are teens, they should be parents’ helpers.

Training should be finalized in the early teens and they should gradually become independent and capable as they approach adulthood. It’s our purpose as parents to train ourselves out of the job. Our kids should become self-sufficient. I won’t allow my kids to be like some of the friends I had as a teen and young adult who didn’t know how to make even a simple meal or sew on a button!

  • meal planning (we like eMeals!)
  • cook complete meals from scratch
  • oil change for the car
  • rotating or changing tires on the car
  • running a yard sale (I love that my eldest is a whiz with customer service and money and I can just supervise)
  • babysitting
  • sewing and mending
  • organizing and tidying
  • elderly companion (I did that as a teen, reading and assisting a family friend)
  • filing and paperwork, applications for college or jobs, tax prep help
  • household management
  • technology help, even VA training – We need to make sure our kids are Internet savvy and use discretion online. I monitor closely and teach.

We encourage our kids to help Daddy and learn about handyman activities.

I will say my kids are a bit advanced in the kitchen. All four of my kids are pros at making perfect scrambled eggs – without supervision at a very young age. The girls are very able to prepare to prepare simple meals with very little supervision. We all love to cook and eat together!

All the men in my and Aaron’s family were very handy and I want my kids to learn those skills. And it’s wise and frugal to know some basic handyman methods and be able to fix things yourself.

We don’t do cute little charts or lists or any of that extrinsic motivation. Chores get completed daily and weekly as needed. The kids are trained to complete a task when it’s necessary. We do zones each week. Sure, we sometimes get behind if our schedule gets crazy, but we catch up. Work before play.

I expect the younger kids to complete a task to the best of their ability. Older kids have to meet higher standards.

For instance, I expect a floor vacuumed.

The 4-year-old sweeps the vacuum across the floor 3-4 times until he is physically exhausted from the effort of that monstrosity of a vacuum. Awesome.

The 7-year-old vacuums up visible dirt around the paths made from furniture. Awesome.

The 13-year-old should move the ottoman and coffee table and vacuum under those, get that wand out and vacuum along the baseboards. Awesome.

The husband vacuums and there’s a ticker tape parade.

No, not really.

Not every time.

We used this chore chart for a while with our littles to help them.

How do your kids help with household chores?


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Bible Studies for Kids

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October 7, 2013 By Jennifer Lambert 1 Comment

I have a really hard time finding good Bible study resources for kids!

I seldom liked the way Sunday School was taught to my young children, so we stoped going.

Most materials for kids’ Bible studies are geared for large groups like Sunday School or Christian school classrooms. Not much is available for individuals or homeschool use.

I tried to gather resources for Scripture memorization, Bible study, and character development, as well as handwriting practice, letter recognition, and more for my small kids to learn about the Bible.

Write Through the Bible by Luke and Trisha Gilkerson

Exodus, Psalms, Proverbs, Philippians, Prayers, and Creeds. Luke & Trisha’s Write Through the Bible program provides 131 days of handwriting, copywork and dictation practice along with Scripture memorization, and this set includes both the cursive and manuscript versions of the workbook.

The Dig by Patrick Schwenk

The Dig for Kids is a simple and easy way for parents to study the Bible with their children. The Dig takes the guesswork out of teaching with one-page lessons that consist of: The Map, an overview of each lesson; The Dig, the main passage of the Bible you will be reading and three or four questions that will help with discussion and review; The Treasure, the big idea of the passage being studied; and The Display, to help your child live out what he or she has just learned. Luke Volumes 1 and 2, Proverbs, and James.

Bible Study Guide

The Bible Study Guide was born in 1980 after Mary Baker, a mom of four children, couldn’t find a curriculum she felt would help her kids, and her church’s Bible class, learn and understand the Bible.

My kids liked working on the Bible timeline and fun activities.

Grapevine Studies

Fact-based Bible curriculum for kids to stick figure through the Bible with a clear teaching plan.

  • Esther
  • Ruth
  • Old Testament Survey
  • Epiphany
  • Birth of Jesus
  • Resurrection

What’s your favorite Bible study for kids?

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31 Days of Servant Leadership: Resources for Littles

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October 5, 2013 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

It is so helpful to start young. The younger the better. It’s always more difficult to undo worldly ideals than to begin with a blank slate and build them up to look only to Jesus. Here is my list of resources for little for Bible, heart training, discipleship, beginning training in servant leadership.

resources-for-littles.jpg

*contains affiliate links

These are some of our favorite resources to begin with our kids when they’re really young to build a solid foundation.

  • Child Training Bible (also Virtue Training Bible available!)

Spread the Word

You get these cards and you place colored tabs and highlight verses for easy reference. My girls know when they misbehave and we find the topic together and read the verses and pray. Educating them about living for Christ is so much better than punishment.

Buy

  • Glow in the Dark Fish

Now a family favorite. I wish I’d found this book years ago! The whole family loves this one. It doesn’t mince words or dumb down lessons. There’s something to interest everyone and there are extras for deeper learning.

We love this book and all my girls read it over and over again. The book’s theme is about purity for girls, but it can applied to all integrity.

We read this last year as part of our history studies with Tapestry of Grace Year 2. Just delightful. Great for girls as well as boys. Encourages keeping a pure heart despite temptation.

My kids and I love We Choose Virtues. Through coloring pages, posters, sticker charts, and simple lessons, we learn core Christian values to improve our spiritual lives. Lots of options to design a package your family will use and love.


From Catechism studies to tracing and stick figuring through the books of the Bible, Grapevine Bible Studies has something for the whole family to learn together – at different levels all at the same time. Kids need to learn the basics before they can apply it to their lives.

For meatier curricula, my girls completed (and my son is now working through)

  • Songs for Saplings

Songs for Saplings

Corresponding Printables for Songs for Saplings!

We love that these lessons use Susan Hunt Books as a base.

  • Raising Rock Stars Preschool

  • Raising Rock Stars Kindergarten

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Stay tuned for more servant leadership resources each week!

{I will not be blogging on Sundays.}

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31 Days of Servant Leadership: Leaders Listen

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October 4, 2013 By Jennifer Lambert 2 Comments

I am not an aural learner and if I listen to something, I do better if I’m able to read along or see visuals to help understanding.

We all have a fundamental need to be heard.

Leaders listen.

Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak… James 1:19b

leaders-listen.jpg

This. why I’m writing this post at 9 PM the night before it’s due.

Alex demanded for about half an hour for me to lay with him and watch a show on the iPad. So, I rushed through helping Tori organize her cold weather clothes in her drawers so I could oblige.

He snuggles up and lays his head on my squishy tummy. He strokes the back of my hand. Then he pinches my knuckle, which means I’m supposed to rub his back. He puckers up for a kiss, all while watching his show on the iPad.

I realize that these moments are fleeting.

While I formulate in my mind what I need to write, review, plan, clean, organize…I need to be present with my baby boy.

Right. Now.

That is servant leadership. The dishes can wait. The books and Netflix DVDs on my desk aren’t that important. Social media will not blow up without my being there to share.

After a few minutes, I had two cats and two daughters in the room too. They long to be near. After cleaning up the garden (since it’s due to frost tonight), my husband joined us.

It was beautiful. I felt God smile.

Shouldn’t we long to be close to our Daddy God too? Like our children long to be in our presence, shouldn’t we seek His? And by drawing nearer to Him, we draw our children closer to Him.

I need to set the example for my children. Where I lead, they will follow. Do I want to lead them down a trail of busyness and worthless pursuits? Or do I want to lead them in paths of righteousness?

We have a Siamese cat. She still looks like a kitten after two years. She is darling. When I first acquired her, she was skittish and unfriendly. She didn’t seem to hear well and seldom allowed us to pet her for very long.

For the first 6-9 months, she would wet my bed. My lovely comforter is raggedy and has a hole in a corner from so many washings. We couldn’t figure out her triggers. The litter boxes were spotless. I was diligent with clean water and plenty of food. The vet was no help without catheterizing her since she wouldn’t urinate on command for a sample.

I think she was stressed by the noise of four children and our adult cat. It was a very different environment for her. She is naturally shy and perhaps she wasn’t treated so well before we adopted her. I think she was the runt.

I am ashamed to say that we considered finding a new home for her.

I prayed. For my cat. Yes, I did. I prayed that God would help. That He would give me answers. Selfishly, that He would save my bed comforter.

Then, miraculously, it stopped. Either she outgrew it or suddenly got comfortable in her surroundings or learned to trust us…or God answered my prayer…it just ended. She became a happy, loving, talkative cat. She now seeks us out and demands attention.

Now, how often do we get frustrated with our children’s behaviors? How often do we lash out in anger at our children – simply for acting like kids? Don’t we punish instead of instructing in love, instead of heart training, taking the time to disciple so our children learn The Way instead of The World.

What if we thought of our kids as an ill-trained runt of an animal? But, don’t you sometimes think that way? I’m ashamed that I have.

Do we pray for and with our kids as often as we should? More than the meal time recitations and the bedtime “Now I lay me down to sleeps”?

How often do I push my kids away because I’m “busy” instead of reaching to bring them in close and smell them and show them how much they’re worth to me? I need to show them that they’re worth more than the empty words on a computer screen.

I need to listen.

I need to listen to what they’re really saying. Their words, actions, heartcries for attention. Instead of just hearing defiance in a tone, I need to listen to the hurt in my daughter’s voice that I didn’t fill her love tank in the way that made her feel loved. Instead of reacting to the tantrum my son has, I need to listen to his desire for food or a hug. Instead of hearing the disrespect in my daughters’ flippant comment, I need to listen to their confusion over a math problem or multi-step instruction.

I pray that I listen and not react. I pray that I am present. I pray that my heart is open to their needs and I am a servant to my family. I pray that I disciple them and train their hearts to seek after Jesus despite the crashing cymbals of the world’s temptations and even the compromises of the church.

What do I want them to remember? Do I want Kate to remember that I dropped everything to play Uno with her? Do I want Alex to remember that I dropped everything to see him dance? Do I want Tori to remember that I dropped everything to watch her ride her bike? Do I want Liz to remember that I dropped everything to listen to her read a funny quote from a book she’s reading?

Yes.

I don’t want their memories of childhood to be that their mama sat at a computer day in and day out, too busy to see or listen to them being who God meant them to be.

I want them to look back and remember a mama who was present and fun and prayed and laughed and played games and took time to be silly. A mama who listened.

shhhh. Listen. Do you hear it?

That’s the sound of God smiling.

Children are not cats.

But wouldn’t it be nice if children could be toilet-trained at 6 weeks like kittens are trained to litter boxes? That would sure simplify life!

Tweetables:

We all have a fundamental need to be heard. Leaders listen.

I pray that I disciple them and train their hearts to seek after Jesus despite the crashing cymbals of the world’s temptations and even the compromises of the church.

Don’t we punish instead of instructing in love, instead of heart training, taking the time to disciple so our children learn The Way instead of The World.

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31 Days of Servant Leadership: What is Honor?

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October 3, 2013 By Jennifer Lambert 5 Comments

Welcome back to 31 Days of Servant Leadership!

Today we discuss honor.

What is honor?

High respect, esteem, a privilege.

1. honesty, fairness, or integrity in one’s beliefs and actions

2. a source of credit or distinction

3. high respect, as for worth, merit, or rank

4. such respect manifested

5. high public esteem; fame; glory

“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you. Exodus 20:12

This is the first commandment with a promise.

But, as parents, do we deserve honor just because we’re parents? So many abuse this power. How often do you irritate your children with expectations that are unreasonable? Do you expect them to complete tasks without training them properly?

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:1-4

Mamas, I know we’re only human and we expect a lot from our kids, especially our older kids and teens. We often forget that we demand them to be responsible for too much sometimes.

We need to serve our families well by training and having our kids work alongside us. We need to be leaders by leading our daughters in the chores and training our kids how to do them well.

We lead by example.

Sure, we must teach our children to be respectful, but we also must be worthy of that respect. I know there are lots of books and articles out there exhorting us to do what we should do – love or respect – without waiting for the other to show it. But I’m talking about kids here. We must teach them by showing them. How else will they know how when they grow up?

As a military wife, it’s common and known that many officers are “honored” or respected just because of that eagle or star or leaf on their collars. They don’t deserve any honor because they don’t lead well, but troops respect the rank. I get it. We need to teach respect for authority even if they don’t deserve it.

There are so many differences between being a boss and a leader.

Leaders are inspirational. They guide, encourage, work with their people.

Bosses sit back and bark orders, take all the credit, and none of the blame.

What about rules? It depends on how they’re framed.

This is one of my favorite books and an incredible quote. Quit whining about credit! And teach the kids not to worry about it as long as the job gets done well.

“Real leaders don’t care [about receiving credit]. If it’s about your mission, about spreading the faith, about seeing something happen, not only do you not care about credit, you actually want other people to take credit…There’s no record of Martin Luther King, Jr. or Gandhi whining about credit. Credit isn’t the point. Change is.”

― Seth Godin, Tribes: We Need You to Lead Us

And this has always been a favorite quote, being an Army brat and Air Force wife.

“Always do everything you ask of those you command.”

– George S. Patton

Instead of barking orders at your kids – work with them, show them how to fold the laundry and pray for each family member as you tuck in socks and roll up towels.

Instead of nagging your children – help make the chores go faster by helping load the dishwasher and then play a game together.

Instead of constantly lecturing, stop to listen to your babies. They have lots to say. They can teach us so much about the world, about God, about love and forgiveness.

How to compose a successful critical commentary:

  1. You should attempt to re-express your target’s position so clearly, vividly, and fairly that your target says, “Thanks, I wish I’d thought of putting it that way.
  2. You should list any points of agreement (especially if they are not matters of general or widespread agreement).
  3. You should mention anything you have learned from your target.
  4. Only then are you permitted to say so much as a word of rebuttal or criticism.

Be a parent. Enjoy your children. Look at them and listen to them. Show them what leadership is. {Tweet This!}

I’m guilty of this too. I like my alone time and being with the kids all day long every day can be exhausting, but they long for downtime with me – no school lessons, no chores, no lecturing. I need to be intentional and present.

Be honorable. Show honor. That is true leadership.

Resources:

  • In the Name of Jesus: Reflections on Christian Leadership by Henri J. M. Nouwen
  • Canoeing the Mountains: Christian Leadership in Uncharted Territory by Tod Bolsinger
  • Lead Your Family Like Jesus: Powerful Parenting Principles from the Creator of Families by Ken Blanchard, Phil Hodges, and Tricia Goyer
  • The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader by John C. Maxwell
  • The Servant Leader’s Manifesto by Omar L. Harris
  • Leaders Eat Last: Why Some Teams Pull Together and Others Don’t by Simon Sinek
  • Servant Leadership Roadmap: Master the 12 Core Competencies of Management Success with Leadership Qualities and Interpersonal Skills by Cara H. Bramlett
  • How to Talk So People Will Listen by Steve Brown
  • Trust and Inspire: How Truly Great Leaders Unleash Greatness in Others by Stephen M.R. Covey
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Filed Under: Leadership Tagged With: 31Days, honor, leadership

31 Days of Servant Leadership: What is Chivalry?

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October 2, 2013 By Jennifer Lambert 6 Comments

Welcome back to 31 Days of Servant Leadership!

chivalry.jpg

What is chivalry?

The word’s first use is from the 14th century. It derived from the French term chevalerie, meaning horse culture. Now, I don’t know about you, but I immediately think of the Dothraki, and that’s not my idea of anything chivalrous. They had rules and customs though. Rather unpleasant ones. Since we’re not in feudal times, in the Middle Ages, most think that chivalry is dead.

Chivalry originally meant courage, training, and service. Over time, it became more refined to mean honor and courtesy, and less martial.

The idea of chivalry brings to mind an ideal. A standard to weight all others.

Chivalry was duty. Three standards: Duty to God. Duty to women. Duty to countrymen and/or fellow Christians.

We have many historians and works of literature to thank that gave us a well-rounded view of what chivalry was and should be. Charlemagne. The Arthurian legends. Leon Gautier. Philip III, the Duke of Burgundy.

In the 14th century, the Duke of Burgundy defined for the Order of the Golden Fleece the knight’s twelve chivalric virtues as ~

faith, charity, justice, sagacity, prudence, temperance, resolution, truth, liberality, diligence, hope and valor.

Isn’t that rather similar to Philippians 4:8?

I found one definition that says “polite, honest, and kind.” I like that one! Don’t we all want our children to be that way? How do we teach our kids to be “polite, honest, and kind”?

We need Jesus.

We need to pray. Constantly, unceasingly, specifically. Who do you want your children to be for Jesus?

Raise your sons to be knights and your daughters to be princesses. We are all royal – princes and princesses of the One True King. Act nobly. {Tweet that!}

Teach them to be strong. Teach them to be polite, honest, and kind. Teach them to love.

It’s easy to be a lazy parent and not be consistent. But if you’re lazy, you can’t get mad at your kids for being children, for having poor manners, for not knowing any better. You have to actively teach them, remind them in love, and guide them by example. Every single day, every single time they do an undesirable behavior. It will pay off.

You can’t be a “do what I say, not what I do” kind of parent. That’s not leadership. {Tweet that!}

This parenting thing. I know. It’s not easy. There are no breaks. It’s a constant erosion of our energy, a wearing down of us spiritually, a tearing of our hearts, a searing of our souls.

We must get our own fill at the Well of Life. We must pray, read our Bibles, ask Jesus for help.

He was the ultimate servant leader.

Are you a servant leader?

You need to be to raise up your children as servant leaders.

Join me as we learn how we can be servant leaders and examples to our children as we follow Jesus and point our families to Him.

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Filed Under: Leadership Tagged With: 31Days, chivalry, Christ, heart training, leadership, parenting

What is Servant Leadership?

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October 1, 2013 By Jennifer Lambert 2 Comments

Welcome to the first official day of the 31 Days series. Happy October! There are some amazing series going on. Be sure to check them out!

I’m writing a parenting series about servant leadership. How do we raise our children to be godly leaders in this fallen world?

Subscribe do you can follow along.

Follow along with hashtag #RaisingServantLeaders

servant-leadership.jpg

When God spoke to me recently – about my family, blog, dreams, and direction…He gave me the idea for this series. I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to present it. Then someone mentioned this 31 Day Challenge. Voilà! Amazing how God can work out something so creatively over such a long period of time.

I didn’t realize, eight years ago, that my blog name would be so powerful to me. And, yes, it’s taken that long for me to culminate the vision I had as a teeny tiny seed then. So, be patient. I could never have written then like I can write now. I was in a very different place. And there’s still so much growth. So much forward.

So, what is servant leadership?

Servant
1. a person employed by another, especially to perform domestic duties.
2. a person in the service of another.
3. a person employed by the government: a public servant. (dictionary.com)
 
Leadership
1. to go before or with to show the way; conduct or escort
2. to conduct by holding and guiding
3. to influence or induce; cause
4. to guide in direction, course, action, opinion, etc.; bring
5. to conduct or bring (water, wire, etc.) in a particular course.

This is the verse I’m standing on. The verse God spoke to me about my children.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ~Philippians 4:8

God didn’t stop there. He also spoke to me at length – about royalty. chivalry. nobility. A theme arose in my heart and mind.

What is noble these days? Is chivalry and courtesy dead?

And so I went back and researched noble and chivalry and compared it to our ideas today. They’re interesting concepts. Not entirely un-Christian, but there’s a fine line with some of it.

Don’t we all walk a fine line? Do we want our children to ever waver to the other side of that line? By raising servant leaders in this world, we must be diligent. We cannot compromise. We must choose to be servants of Christ or followers of the world.

And we must disciple our children. If we don’t, the world will. {Tweet that!}

We must be diligent with training our children the way they should go. Pray for what your family’s goals are. What is your idea of success for your children? And I’m not talking about a corner office or a bunch of letters after his name. For the Kingdom of God. What does that success look like?

Like me, you may focus on what you don’t want for your kids. I know I don’t want them to be promiscuous, experiment with drugs, lack honor or integrity.

Work backwards from your ultimate goal of Kingdom success for your family. How do you get there? We’re going to discuss that this month.

I found a couple relevant posts:

  • Today’s Code of Chivalry
  • Parents as Servant Leaders

Join me this week as I discuss the Code of Chivalry and compare it to Philippians 4:8.


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Filed Under: Leadership Tagged With: 31Days, leadership, parenting

31 Days of Servant Leadership

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September 30, 2013 By Jennifer Lambert 3 Comments

Are you ready?

We’re spending a month discussing Servant Leadership.

Raising Royal Little Lambs.

Follow along: #RaisingServantLeaders

31 Days of Servant Leadership

Jesus came to be a servant.

Our Bible lesson hit home for me – and the girls really understood this one. And they understand that this is different than the way of the world. And it’s hard.

“Being a servant means not just looking at your own wants or desires, but looking to help others.” ~The Dig for Kids, Volume 2

The greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves. For who is greater, the one who is at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one who is at the table? But I am among you as one who serves. Luke 22:26-27

Read all of Luke 22.

So, we’re looking for ways to serve, to help others. Even the smallest overlooked things can be so appreciated. I just want my kids to be courteous and thoughtful.

I want our family to be lights for Jesus.

Being counter-cultural is hard.

So, I let go and let God. It’s amazing what my kids do on their own without my nagging them. They’re serving joyfully.

List of posts in this series:

  1. What is Servant Leadership?

  2. Chivalry

  3. Honor

  4. Leaders Listen

  5. Heart Training Resources for Littles

  6. Sunday-no post

  7. Humility and Bible Studies for Kids

  8. Fun

  9. Youth part 1

  10. Youth part 2

  11. Seeking Counsel

  12. Prayer Resources

  13. Sunday-no post

  14. Fear

  15. Comparison

  16. Noble

  17. Truth

  18. Parent Resources

  19. Girl Resources

  20. Sunday-no post

  21. Admirable

  22. Lovely

  23. What is Right?

  24. The Purpose of Church

  25. Praiseworthy

  26. Excellent

  27. Sunday-no post

  28. Boy Resources

  29. Valor

  30. Heart Training Resources

  31. What is Purity?

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Filed Under: Leadership Tagged With: heart training, leadership, parenting

Love Your Neighbor

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April 16, 2013 By Jennifer Lambert 1 Comment

We are commanded to love.

Who?

All of us. Each and every one. To love.

To love.

To love whom?

Everyone.

Love Everyone.

It’s real simple, y’all.

Let all that you do be done in love. 1 Corinthians 16:14

http://www.etsy.com/shop/TrulyLoveThyNeighbor/

So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.

John 13:34-35

Love is a decision.

I read posts all the time about loving our spouses and children. If we need to be admonished to do that, how much more must we be reminded to love everyone else?

In light of everything in the news lately, I am disheartened. So much hate.

But Christians must not compromise. We must love.

We are the examples.

Little eyes and ears are always present.

What example are you setting if you love one and not the other?

What do your children think if they are confused by unforgiveness or bitterness?

We’ve traveled and moved all over and seen many different peoples and cultures.

We learn about them and their history. This is how we learn not to fear differences.

This is how we learn to love.

How can you love your neighbor today?

We are called to Love Everyone.

Resources:

  • Same, Same But Different by Jenny Sue Kostecki-Shaw
  • All Are Welcome by Alexandra Penfold
  • People by Peter Spier
  • Whoever You Are by MEm Fox
  • It’s Okay To Be Different by Todd Parr
  • The Skin You Live In by Michael Tyler
  • Our Skin: A First Conversation About Race by Isabel Roxas and Meghan Madison
  • The Colors of Us by Karen Katz
  • The Hundred Dresses by Eleanor Estes
  • Max Lucado’s Wemmicks (9 books)
  • The Sneetches and Other Stories by Dr. Seuss
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Filed Under: Faith Tagged With: civil rights, Jesus, leadership, love, MLK

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