How I Teach Religion

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March 16, 2020 By Jennifer Lambert 4 Comments

My town hosted a big evangelical Christian rally last year on a summer Sunday evening at a local public park.

It was a big rock and roll concert, laser lights, food trucks, loud worship, and louder preaching.

I could barely hear the birds and cicadas in my backyard from 4:30-8:30.

Their purpose confuses me.

I looked up the sponsoring organization. They mostly advertise charity work. They’re independent of denomination.

They planted trees at a local school and they were very involved in tornado relief around Dayton for a couple months. Everything they post on social media screams, “Look at me! Look at the good we do – for Jesus!”

I’m reminded of the condemnation of showy religion in Matthew 6.

Their statement lists that marriage is between one man and one woman. Some of their language assumes that women are reduced to lesser jobs, unable to serve in leadership positions, like in many evangelical and fundamentalist denominations.

My biggest concerns are how a religious charity is involved with public schools (separation of church and state?) and the white saviors on their website and social media photos and videos – usually posed smiling with beautiful black and brown children. Do those families know their children are being exploited?

I see things like this more and more. Perhaps in the USA, people really just don’t know any better.

In seeking to fill a hole in our souls, people turn to performative activism and churchtainment instead of doing the work for sacred inner transformation.

Teaching religion to my children is very important to me. I didn’t attend church or learn anything of value about religion when I was growing up.

I don’t rely on church or Sunday school or pastors because they have always disappointed me. Sometimes, they have been outright wrong or hateful or exclusionary. I have certain values I want to instill and I want history and doctrine taught well.

As a family, we have been seekers of Truth. We’ve attended AWANA, Sunday school, VBS, and several different church denomination services over the years. I am often appalled by the curriculum, teaching (or lack thereof), refusal to answer questions (the kids’ and mine), advertisements for questionable charities and services, emotional and psychological abuse, and lukewarm attitudes.

I am disgusted by Christian celebrity worship.

I lean more towards Celtic mysticism, but I encourage my children to learn and worship on their own however they feel comfortable. It’s not my job to convert them to anything.

What is religion?

Religion is a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, especially when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs.

How do I guide and teach my kids religion? Do I just rely on a denomination, church leaders and officials, Christian TV and music, or do I let them loose on their own to figure it out?

It is religion’s job to teach us and guide us on this discovery of our True Self, but it usually makes the mistake of turning this into a worthiness contest of some sort, a private performance, or some kind of religious achievement on our part, through our belonging to the right group, practicing the right rituals, or believing the right things.
Richard Rohr, Falling Upward

Questions to ask when choosing religion curriculum:

How does the program support your mission statement?
What type of curriculum is best for my children? (Lectionary, workshop rotation, story-based, Montessori, etc.)
How are sacraments taught /covered? Is this in keeping with my tradition?
How is Jesus portrayed? God? The Holy Spirit? Is this in keeping with my tradition?
How are children incorporated into religious life: through worship, service projects, faith-in-action, fellowship?

Religious education is the teaching of the aspects of religion: beliefs, doctrines, rituals, customs, rites, and personal roles.

I feel a lot of churches really miss the mark on religious education. Church leaders wrongly assume that people have been raised in church, have healthy spiritual lives, are discussing spiritual topics with their kids, are active in their communities, have it all figured out.

In almost every world religion, we are commanded to LOVE GOD and LOVE OUR NEIGHBOR.

Good neighboring means we want to find a way to be part of the solution, not part of the problem.

How can we be loving neighbors?

That the cross stands at the center of the Christian faith, tells us that pain and suffering are not without meaning. In fact, we believe that they can serve a redemptive purpose. Not that we go looking for pain and suffering, it’s just that we don’t need to be afraid when pain and suffering come looking for us. Frederick Buechner, termed this approach the stewardship of pain. I think that’s what we’re after. Often, when I find myself bristling against the bridle of pain, I remember of the words of Barbara Brown Taylor: “Not to accept suffering as a normal, inevitable part of being alive seems like a big mistake, and finding ways to cover it up seems like choosing anesthesia. There is a sense in which…if I will trust that what comes to me in my life is for me and not against me…what I find is that it breaks my idols, that it breaks my isolation, that it challenges my sense of independence, it does all kinds of things for me that I would not willingly do that are for me, that are for my health.”
Tim Suttle

America is a culture of pew warmers who sing pretty songs while ignoring social justice and personal inner change.

Did I offer peace today? Did I bring a smile to someone’s face? Did I say words of healing? Did I let go of my anger and resentment? Did I forgive? Did I love? These are the real questions.
Henri Nouwen

As I read aloud the Quran and Womanist Midrash to my children every weekday morning, I feel deceived, lied to – by church, society, history.

It is my job to learn, learn, learn in order to teach my children best. I do lots of research and I have spent years deconstructing my faith and my life to get to the heart of religion – LOVE.

How I Teach Religion

Faith

It’s hard to teach religion if I don’t understand it.

It’s been a rough faith journey and I’m now realizing it’s a never-ending walk. I’m coming full circle.

I didn’t grow up in church or with any real understanding of Christianity.

I said a prayer before dinner and at bedtime and that was about it.

Learning to live a life of faith is important for me to model for my children.

I had to learn what faith meant to me by trial and error, reading lots and lots and lots, and watching what not to do.

Faith is not what some people think it is. Their human dream is a delusion. Because they observe that faith is not followed by good works or a better life, they fall into error, even though they speak and hear much about faith. “Faith is not enough,” they say, “You must do good works, you must be pious to be saved.” They think that, when you hear the gospel, you start working, creating by your own strength a thankful heart which says, “I believe.” That is what they think true faith is. But, because this is a human idea, a dream, the heart never learns anything from it, so it does nothing and reform doesn’t come from this `faith,’ either.
Instead, faith is God’s work in us, that changes us and gives new birth from God. (John 1:13). It kills the Old Adam and makes us completely different people. It changes our hearts, our spirits, our thoughts and all our powers. It brings the Holy Spirit with it. Yes, it is a living, creative, active and powerful thing, this faith. Faith cannot help doing good works constantly. It doesn’t stop to ask if good works ought to be done, but before anyone asks, it already has done them and continues to do them without ceasing. Anyone who does not do good works in this manner is an unbeliever. He stumbles around and looks for faith and good works, even though he does not know what faith or good works are. Yet he gossips and chatters about faith and good works with many words.
Faith is a living, bold trust in God’s grace, so certain of God’s favor that it would risk death a thousand times trusting in it. Such confidence and knowledge of God’s grace makes you happy, joyful and bold in your relationship to God and all creatures. The Holy Spirit makes this happen through faith. Because of it, you freely, willingly and joyfully do good to everyone, serve everyone, suffer all kinds of things, love and praise the God who has shown you such grace. Thus, it is just as impossible to separate faith and works as it is to separate heat and light from fire! Therefore, watch out for your own false ideas and guard against good-for-nothing gossips, who think they’re smart enough to define faith and works, but really are the greatest of fools. Ask God to work faith in you, or you will remain forever without faith, no matter what you wish, say or can do.
Martin Luther

Do we do all this alone?

Sola scriptura (“by Scripture alone”)
Sola fide (“by faith alone”)
Sola gratia (“by grace alone”)
Solus Christus or Solo Christo (“Christ alone” or “through Christ alone”)
Soli Deo gloria (“glory to God alone”)

While this oversimplifies the purpose of faith, I also worry about individualism in place of community.

Doctrine

I’ve taught Sunday school and Wednesday night classes to adults and children. I’ve taught parenting classes, Bible classes, financial classes, health classes.

I’ve been criticized for sarcasm, jokes, my appearance, photography, crafts, storybook read alouds, and more.

Not many of you should become teachers, because we know that we teachers will be judged more strictly.
James 3:1

I’m tired of being told I’m a sinner, evil, bad, wrong.

I’m tired of being told what I can and can’t read, watch, eat, do, wear.

I’m not caught up in rules or legalism.

The older and wiser I get, the fewer rules I find important.

We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28

I have no patience for discrimination or exclusion.

I’m not interested in a vanilla church that looks like a private country club and has worthless social events.

I don’t want our family members separated out at the door of a church building to go to age-segregated classrooms to learn about complementarianism.

It’s not my job to be the Holy Spirit to my family.

I don’t believe that my kids can’t doubt or ask hard questions about God, Jesus, the Bible.

I don’t believe in stressing out on the American idea of Heaven and Hell.

Jesus died on a cross to show us what love looks like in action.

Nearly half of young LGBT people who are left homeless after coming out are from religious backgrounds.
That’s according to research by the Albert Kennedy Trust (AKT), which supports young people who are at risk of homelessness.
The charity says three in four LGBT people are rejected by their families – and 45% of that number are from a faith background.
Nomia Iqbal and Josh Parry, BBC

We stopped going to church for many reasons. I have yet to find a church that is not complicit in racism and sexism, even if they are actively engaged in social justice and trying hard. I’m not interested in an American nationalist capitalist Jesus.

Being complicit only requires a muted response in the face of injustice or uncritical support of the status quo.
Jemar Tisby

I enjoy reading to my family and learning and growing in our faith together. We read lots about church fathers, saints, missionaries, poetry, nature…God is everywhere.

History

I feel it’s important to understand church history and the history of all world religions.

I love comparing and contrasting religions around the world.

I find history fascinating and I love learning how parallel and similar world religions are.

We learn a great deal about the origins of religions during our Ancient History studies every few years.

We enjoyed learning about and visiting churches in Europe.

We learn the Old Testament stories like the literature, myths, and legends they are.

We read about missionaries and discuss what they did wrong and right about evangelizing and helping people.

I enjoy exploring the music traditions, celebrations, and unique customs of religions.

Practice

Adhering to our faith, expanding our knowledge, and learning history isn’t enough.

We have to put into practice what we believe.

Acts of love, mercy, and grace are important.

Charity work and volunteering are difficult with young kids when most organizations want only adults.

What good is it, dear brothers and sisters, if you say you have faith but don’t show it by your actions? Can that kind of faith save anyone? Suppose you see a brother or sister who has no food or clothing, and you say, “Good-bye and have a good day; stay warm and eat well”—but then you don’t give that person any food or clothing. What good does that do? So you see, faith by itself isn’t enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless. Now someone may argue, “Some people have faith; others have good deeds.” But I say, “How can you show me your faith if you don’t have good deeds? I will show you my faith by my good deeds.” You say you have faith, for you believe that there is one God. Good for you! Even the demons believe this, and they tremble in terror. How foolish! Can’t you see that faith without good deeds is useless? Don’t you remember that our ancestor Abraham was shown to be right with God by his actions when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? You see, his faith and his actions worked together. His actions made his faith complete. And so it happened just as the Scriptures say: “Abraham believed God, and God counted him as righteous because of his faith.” He was even called the friend of God.So you see, we are shown to be right with God by what we do, not by faith alone.
James 2:14-24

I believe in “Kingdom come on Earth as it is in Heaven.”

We are the church and we are the hands and feet of God.

We need to show Heaven to the People.

We are the Kingdom of God. It is at hand. Reach out for it!

Inclusive Reading list:

World Faith

Christianity, Buddhism, Islam, Hinduism, and Judaism are the main world religions. There are lots of variations within them and other smaller faiths and beliefs throughout the world.

Panentheism: the belief or doctrine that God is greater than the universe and includes and interpenetrates it.

I teach my kids the history and customs of other faiths and traditions. I want them to understand and not fear others who are different. We are delighted by some of the customs in their simplicity, complexity, and beauty.

We see things on media that incite fear and otherness and I won’t allow that to dictate our views. We discuss it and refute it.

Love wins.

Resources:

How do you teach religion to your children?

Famous People of Church History Notebooking Pages

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Being Jesus to Others

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July 17, 2014 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

We went on a couple field trips this week: to the Karlsruhe Zoo and the Barefoot Park. The kids were thrilled.

We rode the train down to the zoo. We had to change trains at Neustadt. I think all that was the highlight of the trip for the kids.

So, I must say that Germans are super friendly and helpful. It’s so refreshing after living in several states where people would stare, and walk by, maybe glancing back in disgust, thinking what an awful mother I must be, kinda like the story of the Good Samaritan.

Did you know that’s a law here?

But, even before they see a mom struggling, the Germans offer to help – by lifting a stroller up a flight of stairs or onto the train, offering some candy as a distraction during a meltdown (better than casting angry glares or walking away in a huff).

The stranger who had balloons in his backpack. Seriously. Prepared, a little? He had those skinny, twisty balloons and he blew some up for my son and his friend to use as inner tubes in the water. And then he carried my son on his shoulders across the river rapids at the Barefoot Park.

It teared me up. He was so kind.

And the kids here? I am so impressed with the respect they have for everyone. I watched my friend’s toddler take off for the slide area at a playground (why do they always do that?!) and the boys who were sliding skidded to a stop and made sure he was safe. I have seen kids in the States kick kids in the face at the bottom of the slide and laugh at the crying. More than once, mothers of nasty children told me, with their eyebrows and shoulders shrugged, “Boys will be boys.” And I had all girls at the time.

That’s not an excuse.

People are just kind here. They care for others. I am so grateful. I point it out to my children that this is appropriate behavior. These people are blessings to others. This smile, wave, or simple helpfulness is being Jesus to others.

It doesn’t matter that there’s often a language barrier. I speak some German. I did learn lots in college, but that was many years ago. I try to speak it whenever I have the opportunity, even if I mispronounce words, or forget the proper conjugation or agreement. People are gracious. And my greatest pride is when I can have a successful conversation in German without a glance.

I love it here.

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Learning to Love

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July 8, 2014 By Jennifer Lambert 2 Comments

Jesus calls us to more than just rest; He calls us to an entirely different way of living.

Are you a reed swayed by the wind? Do you just live your life to please others? to make them more comfortable? to tell them what they want to hear?

I’ve struggled with this. And it pains me when my kids ask me why people lie or tell them something and never follow through.

Idle words.

“Every one of these careless words is going to come back to haunt you. There will be a time of Reckoning. Words are powerful; take them seriously. Words can be your salvation. Words can also be your damnation.” Matthew 12:36-37 The Message

It really just all comes down to Love.

Liz asked me today why all the songs and movies and books are about Love.

The truth is that humans need Love and most of modern first world society has everything we need, everything that money can buy, but we can’t buy Love, and we seek after it, pursuing it, idolizing it, craving it in all its impure and fleshly perversions.

I explained that people long for Love, but modern society has twisted it to be perverted and unhealthy and the media doesn’t portray real Love.

The teen books, shows, and music teach that everyone needs a boyfriend or girlfriend to be accepted and worthy in our society.

The Bible teaches a different Love and it’s my job as a mother to revitalize that education and make sure my kids understand the difference.

Am I modeling Love? Am I practicing hospitality? Am I lovely? Do my words portray Love? Do my actions show Love?

We’re all so worried about competition that we overlook Love. We compete for the attention and recognition of others in all we do. We even compete to appear more Christian than others.

Does my home look like something from HGTV before I can invite others over so I can love on them? Do my kids have to dress like Gap models before we can go out to witness? Does my hair and makeup look like that of the supermodel on the cover of a magazine before I can be charitable?

Why do we deny the Exodus? God tried to teach us that things don’t matter. People matter.

Why do we thwart the Gospel? Jesus teaches Love. Love before anything else.

How can I minister to others with where I am right now?

Jesus sent His apostles out with nothing. Why must we hide behind our stuff? We are of so little faith that we can’t offer Love to anyone since we don’t trust Him or accept Love ourselves.

Love your neighbor for real and the world can change.

Shake up your status quo.

Loving others isn’t supposed to be comfortable.

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Stop Watching the Wind

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February 2, 2014 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

We’ve all heard the lesson and seen the lovely images with the call to action about how we have to get out of the boat to follow Jesus.

And many of us do get out of the boat and then get bogged down in life and start to doubt and sink in despair. Some cry out to Jesus but others, too proud to ask, tread water and thrash and flail on our own rather than admit we need any help.

How far are you from Jesus?

Let’s look at how far away Peter was when he feared the wind and cried out to Jesus to save him:

Jesus Walks on the Water
²²Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. ²³After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, ²⁴and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.
²⁵Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. ²⁶When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.
²⁷But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
²⁸“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
²⁹“Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. ³⁰But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
³¹Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
³²And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. ³³Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”
³⁴When they had crossed over, they landed at Gennesaret. ³⁵And when the men of that place recognized Jesus, they sent word to all the surrounding country. People brought all their sick to him ³⁶and begged him to let the sick just touch the edge of his cloak, and all who touched it were healed.
Matthew 14:22-36

I assume Jesus was only an arm’s length away. Certainly, He was close.

Peter looked away from Jesus. He saw the wind. He was afraid. He cried out to Jesus.

Immediately, Jesus reached out his hand and caught him.

Jesus is never far away. He’s always right there, waiting for us to cry out to Him.

And He will immediately catch us.

How often are we in a storm and overwhelmed with watching the wind and waves and rain in fear – and we don’t see Jesus right there in front of us? He’s waiting, watching us, ready to come when we call.

How often are we distracted by emails, tablets, smartphones, husbands, children, chores, friends, church activities, family events, social activities…

And we don’t see Jesus because of all those distractions. He’s waiting, watching us, ready to come when we call.

“You of little faith,” he said, “why do you doubt?”

We often start walking on the water towards Jesus. We begin on the right path, then we get distracted. We get confused. Why do we doubt?

He’s waiting, watching us, ready to come when we call.

Stop watching the wind. Keep your eyes on Jesus.

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31 Days of Servant Leadership: Admirable

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October 21, 2013 By Jennifer Lambert 1 Comment

What is admirable?

The Free Dictionary defines admire:

To regard with pleasure, wonder, and approval.

To have a high opinion of; esteem or respect.

To regard with esteem, respect, approval, or pleased surprise.

When was the last time you expressed those emotions for the things of God?

As a society, we are drawing farther and farther away from a biblical worldview. Even Christians are too much in the world and compromise.

We regard with pleasure: food, flowers, jokes, entertainment.

We esteem: celebrities, leaders, idols, rich people

We approve: too much of the world.

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. 2 Timothy 2:15

There’s nothing wrong with regarding things with pleasure. I admire a great meal, flowers, a waterfall, a keen wit.

The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Psalm 19:1

We should respect worldly leaders, if only for their position of power. But they are not above God.

Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human authority: whether to the emperor, as the supreme authority, or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right. For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish people. Live as free people, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as God’s slaves. Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor. 1 Peter 2:13-17

We should not be too much in the world. If we are truly Christ followers, we will want less and less of the world and more and more of Him.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2

What do you want your children to admire? Do you want them to equate Jesus with celebrities? Do you want them to be fans…or followers?

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31 Days of Servant Leadership: Noble

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October 16, 2013 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

What is noble?

The Free Dictionary defines noble:

Having or showing qualities of high moral character, such as courage, generosity, or honor: a noble spirit.

Proceeding from or indicative of such a character; showing magnanimity.

Grand and stately in appearance; majestic.

As children of the King, shouldn’t we all be called noble? We should train ourselves to have and show qualities of high moral character.

But, many of us do have that, or believe it.

And they’re just really moral heathens.

When they stand before Jesus on Judgment Day, what will Jesus say?

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’ Matthew 7:21-23

Do you want to hear that?

I didn’t think so.

Too many people consider themselves Christians.

What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.
But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.”
Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds.
You believe that there is one God.
Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder. James 2:14-19

But too many people who believe in Christ are really just fans. They admire Jesus and know lots about Him and the Bible.

But they don’t really know Him.

“We’re drinking a cocktail that’s a mix of the Protestant work ethic, the American dream, and the gospel. And we’ve intertwined them so completely that we can’t tell them apart anymore. Our gospel has become a gospel of following your dreams and being good so God will make all your dreams come true. It’s the Oprah god.” Phil Vischer

Let’s really teach kids to follow Christ instead of morality.

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Love Your Neighbor

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April 16, 2013 By Jennifer Lambert 1 Comment

We are commanded to love.

Who?

All of us. Each and every one. To love.

To love.

To love whom?

Everyone.

Love Everyone.

It’s real simple, y’all.

Let all that you do be done in love. 1 Corinthians 16:14

http://www.etsy.com/shop/TrulyLoveThyNeighbor/

So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.
John 13:34-35

Love is a decision.

I read posts all the time about loving our spouses and children. If we need to be admonished to do that, how much more must we be reminded to love everyone else?

In light of everything in the news lately, I am disheartened. So much hate.

But Christians must not compromise. We must love.

We are the examples.

Little eyes and ears are always present.

What example are you setting if you love one and not the other?

What do your children think if they are confused by unforgiveness or bitterness?

We’ve traveled and moved all over and seen many different peoples and cultures.

We learn about them and their history. This is how we learn not to fear differences.

This is how we learn to love.

How can you love your neighbor today?

We are called to Love Everyone.

Learn how you can Lead Your Family Like Jesus.

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Casual Jesus

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October 17, 2011 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

My 11-year-old daughter commented on a Christian singer with tiny plain gold earrings in both his ears: “He’s a boy. He can’t have earrings. And he can’t be Christian.”

My four- and five-year-old daughters chimed in, “Yeah, and boys can’t have long hair!” (The singer had a shaved head, praise God, so I guess he’s half saved?).

After resuscitation from my husband and a crying jag on both our parts, I barely recovered enough to query, “Wha-?! Why can’t he be a Christian?” She could offer no explanation other than boys shouldn’t have earrings or long hair. I think she couldn’t really refute the irrational logic behind the earring/Christian analogy.

This conversation scares me.

And also sorta made me want to go out and get a punk makeover…What are my kids learning (and where are they learning it?) – about image and etiquette and society and Christianity?

I’m sure I’m failing as a mom and as a Christian.

Lord, help me counter this bigotry that my children have been taught by ignorant people. Help me to not judge others by their appearances and not to raise my eyebrows when I see that dude at Target who has real horns growing out of his head and an actual metal zipper in his tongue (we smile at him, but he may try to eat us).

Oh, and what about club clothes in church? If you feel the need to purchase stripper shoes and miniskirts, that’s between you and God. Maybe you’ve been out all night and came direct to church. If you wear your red patent leather platform stilettos with your black pleather silver studded halter mini dress to church so my kids can stare, it makes me uncomfortable. It’s inappropriate in a teenager and I wonder what your mother would say, unless of course, she’s sitting beside you in a matching ensemble. And when my four year old tells me she thinks your shoes are pretty and she wants a pair just like them, I just threw up a little in my mouth.

But I can see why she thinks they’re pretty.

Some churches stare at newcomers who aren’t dressed “right.” And other churches claim, “come as you are.” It shouldn’t be about numbers or a secret handshake to get in. We’re teaching church and not Christ.

Do we want people to follow rules or show love?

Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better. ~Maya Angelou

Our society has gotten so casual. While appearances shouldn’t matter, they do matter. Perhaps too much. Or perhaps, people are just concerned about the wrong things.

Casual Fridays, casual relationships, casual dining, casual décor, casual church…

I think we’ve missed the mark. This whole casual attitude has distorted what’s really important.

It’s all about respect. There just ain’t no respect no more.

Is Jesus casual?

I don’t think so.

I know the Bible says that appearances shouldn’t matter as much as the heart, and I agree, but surely there must be a line drawn somewhere. (And I desperately search for that line when my 4-year-old wants stripper shoes and my 11-year-old thinks all earring-wearing boys aren’t Christian.)

Do we imagine Jesus, wearing surfer shorts and a ball cap, sitting in a teal and orange restaurant playing raucous rock and roll music through its speakers, eating his cheesy garlic biscuit while discussing how we should pray to Daddy God or explaining the parable of the sowers to the Hot Topic-clad apostles?

Maybe.

Can we imagine Jesus wearing distressed jeans and biker boots and a silk shirt unbuttoned to there with a blinged-out cross necklace (bigger than the medallion the French maî·tre d’ wears at that trendy bistro downtown), preaching to the thousands in a church café stadium with laser lights with a chai vanilla skinny double shot no foam latte in one hand and a PowerPoint clicker in the other, and a pricey mike headset on his perfectly styled hair?

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

And what about Paul? I wonder if he wasn’t so casual. I’ll bet he was so uptight. He probably wore conservative clothes and all that. He was respected (except when that one dude fell asleep and out the window from boredom…and all that persecution he dealt and received…) And he and Peter didn’t get along at all.

But we live in a society where image is everything.

Did you want Madagascar cinnamon or organic molasses syrup on that latte?

John the Baptist wouldn’t fit in so well, I don’t think, as far as images go.

I think the whole image thing may even be worse in Utah (perhaps it’s a certain subculture here). And often, I just don’t have the energy to braid up three girls’ hair with flowers and ribbons while dressing my 18 month old boy like a Gap ad. Is it really worth it just to go to the grocery store or library? I’m always the last one to get ready and it’s haphazard, at best. I’ve gone out with my hair unwashed in a ponytail and different socks on and no jewelry (gasp! seriously, without the wedding ring, what will people think?!) while my 4 kiddos look like little Land’s End angels…for about 5 minutes. And my husband has on his 5 year old jorts and torn up tennis shoes with a holey T shirt he’s had since before we were married. And he still manages to look ok. I always feel judged whenever we go anywhere. No one cares what guys look like. At least my husband can’t wear earrings or long hair. He’s in the Air Force. whew! Should we just wear family uniforms like that weird family over there (khakis and matching polos)? It’d be SO much easier, and cheaper!

Jesus called the Pharisees vipers and hypocrites. What would he call the girl at church in the stripper shoes? What would he call the Pottery Barn indebted people or the moms who stress over their daughter’s braids being ruler perfect? What would he call the preacher in his trendy clothes with his latte? Of course, their hearts may be in the right place, but if they’re so concerned about their image, then I wonder.

And what are they portraying to my kids or anyone else? I’m working to learn myself and how best to teach my kids about love and respect.

And why does the Christian singer have to look like every other emo rock star? Why do the lyrics have to be so suggestive? Is Jesus supposed to be my boyfriend or my Savior?

What would we think if we saw Jesus or Paul or John, right now? How would we judge them by their appearances?

I think we should dress for success and be respectful. Church is a place of respect because it is the house of God. As Christians, we should honor Jesus however we can. As Christians, we are called to be separate from the world. If all you own are T shirts and jeans, or stripper shoes, then wear your best T shirt and shoes to church to show respect to God.

And who cares what others think?

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