Jennifer Lambert

A Sacred Balance

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Favorite Movies to Watch with My Kids

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I love introducing my kids to my favorite movies. I love watching movies with my kids. Cinema history and appreciation is super important.

There is such delight when they get the jokes in classic film (gasp – the 80s are classic now!). Sometimes, I explain a pop culture reference that is now obsolete.

Sometimes, I am shocked by innuendo, language, or scenes that I never picked up on these movies, most of which were filmed before the PG-13 rating existed.

But mostly, these films are educational as they commemorate my childhood and youth.

We especially love films about aliens, space, time travel, dinosaurs, history…pretty much all sci-fi and fantasy. We love Star Wars and Star Trek. I used to love horror films and my girls are getting into it, but some of the modern stuff is still too much. They keep asking about some great horror movies and I keep putting them off until they’re in their later teenage years.

Favorite Movies to Watch with My Kids

My kids are 10, 13, 14, and 20 this year. My son is the youngest and very sensitive. He doesn’t like horror films yet and that’s just fine.

John Hughes Films

These are just classic teen films.

John Carpenter Films

My girls really appreciate good horror and his music scores!

Fun Nostalgic Films

These films built my youth.

Jim Henson Movies

This is an epic part of my childhood.

Mel Brooks Movies

I think he created comedy.

Monty Python

My kids really get British humor. We quote these all the time!

Ernest Movies

I used to watch these with my dad. Yes, they’re sometimes crass and ridiculous.

The Addams Family

These are timeless tales about a loving unique family. I really love the new cartoon!

Tim Burton

These films are unique.

DC Universe

For the love of Batman.

Marvel Universe

There are too many to choose! I love comics.

I love that my kids are growing up in a time when we can find almost any film or show online to stream for free or cheap!

We have movie night every weekend with homemade pizza.

What’s your family’s favorite film?

Linking up: Random Musings, Welcome Heart, Anita Ojeda, Marilyn’s Treats, April Harris, Little Cottage, Kippi at Home, Create with Joy, Home Stories, Suburbia, Mary Geisen, InstaEncouragements, Purposeful Faith, Our Home, LouLou Girls, Our Three Peas, Grandma’s Ideas, Anchored Abode, Worth Beyond Rubies, Soaring with Him, Ducks in a Row, Girlish Whims, Fluster Buster, Gingersnap Crafts, Katherine’s Corner, Penny’s Passion, Debbie Kitterman, Crystal Storms, CKK, Imparting Grace, Slices of Life, Life Beyond the Kitchen, Chic on a Shoestring, Answer is Choco, Being a Wordsmith, Simply Sweet Home, Lyli Dunbar, Heartsie Girl, CWJ, Mostly Blogging,

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How I Teach Religion

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My town hosted a big evangelical Christian rally last year on a summer Sunday evening at a local public park.

It was a big rock and roll concert, laser lights, food trucks, loud worship, and louder preaching.

I could barely hear the birds and cicadas in my backyard from 4:30-8:30.

Their purpose confuses me.

I looked up the sponsoring organization. They mostly advertise charity work. They’re independent of denomination.

They planted trees at a local school and they were very involved in tornado relief around Dayton for a couple months. Everything they post on social media screams, “Look at me! Look at the good we do – for Jesus!”

I’m reminded of the condemnation of showy religion in Matthew 6.

Their statement lists that marriage is between one man and one woman. Some of their language assumes that women are reduced to lesser jobs, unable to serve in leadership positions, like in many evangelical and fundamentalist denominations.

My biggest concerns are how a religious charity is involved with public schools (separation of church and state?) and the white saviors on their website and social media photos and videos – usually posed smiling with beautiful black and brown children. Do those families know their children are being exploited?

I see things like this more and more. Perhaps in the USA, people really just don’t know any better.

In seeking to fill a hole in our souls, people turn to performative activism and churchtainment instead of doing the work for sacred inner transformation.

Teaching religion to my children is very important to me. I didn’t attend church or learn anything of value about religion when I was growing up.

I don’t rely on church or Sunday school or pastors because they have always disappointed me. Sometimes, they have been outright wrong or hateful or exclusionary. I have certain values I want to instill and I want history and doctrine taught well.

As a family, we have been seekers of Truth. We’ve attended AWANA, Sunday school, VBS, and several different church denomination services over the years. I am often appalled by the curriculum, teaching (or lack thereof), refusal to answer questions (the kids’ and mine), advertisements for questionable charities and services, emotional and psychological abuse, and lukewarm attitudes.

I am disgusted by Christian celebrity worship.

I lean more towards Celtic mysticism, but I encourage my children to learn and worship on their own however they feel comfortable. It’s not my job to convert them to anything.

What is religion?

Religion is a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, especially when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs.

How do I guide and teach my kids religion? Do I just rely on a denomination, church leaders and officials, Christian TV and music, or do I let them loose on their own to figure it out?

It is religion’s job to teach us and guide us on this discovery of our True Self, but it usually makes the mistake of turning this into a worthiness contest of some sort, a private performance, or some kind of religious achievement on our part, through our belonging to the right group, practicing the right rituals, or believing the right things.

Richard Rohr, Falling Upward

Questions to ask when choosing religion curriculum:

  1. How does the program support your mission statement?
  2. What type of curriculum is best for my children? (Lectionary, workshop rotation, story-based, Montessori, etc.)
  3. How are sacraments taught /covered? Is this in keeping with my tradition?
  4. How is Jesus portrayed? God? The Holy Spirit? Is this in keeping with my tradition?
  5. How are children incorporated into religious life: through worship, service projects, faith-in-action, fellowship?

Religious education is the teaching of the aspects of religion: beliefs, doctrines, rituals, customs, rites, and personal roles.

I feel a lot of churches really miss the mark on religious education. Church leaders wrongly assume that people have been raised in church, have healthy spiritual lives, are discussing spiritual topics with their kids, are active in their communities, have it all figured out.

In almost every world religion, we are commanded to LOVE GOD and LOVE OUR NEIGHBOR.

Good neighboring means we want to find a way to be part of the solution, not part of the problem. 

How can we be loving neighbors?

That the cross stands at the center of the Christian faith, tells us that pain and suffering are not without meaning. In fact, we believe that they can serve a redemptive purpose. Not that we go looking for pain and suffering, it’s just that we don’t need to be afraid when pain and suffering come looking for us. Frederick Buechner, termed this approach the stewardship of pain. I think that’s what we’re after. Often, when I find myself bristling against the bridle of pain, I remember of the words of Barbara Brown Taylor: “Not to accept suffering as a normal, inevitable part of being alive seems like a big mistake, and finding ways to cover it up seems like choosing anesthesia. There is a sense in which…if I will trust that what comes to me in my life is for me and not against me…what I find is that it breaks my idols, that it breaks my isolation, that it challenges my sense of independence, it does all kinds of things for me that I would not willingly do that are for me, that are for my health.”

Tim Suttle

America is a culture of pew warmers who sing pretty songs while ignoring social justice and personal inner change.

Did I offer peace today? Did I bring a smile to someone’s face? Did I say words of healing? Did I let go of my anger and resentment? Did I forgive? Did I love? These are the real questions.

Henri Nouwen

As I read aloud the Quran and Womanist Midrash to my children every weekday morning, I feel deceived, lied to – by church, society, history.

It is my job to learn, learn, learn in order to teach my children best. I do lots of research and I have spent years deconstructing my faith and my life to get to the heart of religion – LOVE.

How I Teach Religion

Faith

It’s hard to teach religion if I don’t understand it.

It’s been a rough faith journey and I’m now realizing it’s a never-ending walk. I’m coming full circle.

I didn’t grow up in church or with any real understanding of Christianity.

I said a prayer before dinner and at bedtime and that was about it.

Learning to live a life of faith is important for me to model for my children.

I had to learn what faith meant to me by trial and error, reading lots and lots and lots, and watching what not to do.

Faith is not what some people think it is. Their human dream is a delusion. Because they observe that faith is not followed by good works or a better life, they fall into error, even though they speak and hear much about faith. “Faith is not enough,” they say, “You must do good works, you must be pious to be saved.” They think that, when you hear the gospel, you start working, creating by your own strength a thankful heart which says, “I believe.” That is what they think true faith is. But, because this is a human idea, a dream, the heart never learns anything from it, so it does nothing and reform doesn’t come from this `faith,’ either.

Instead, faith is God’s work in us, that changes us and gives new birth from God. (John 1:13). It kills the Old Adam and makes us completely different people. It changes our hearts, our spirits, our thoughts and all our powers. It brings the Holy Spirit with it. Yes, it is a living, creative, active and powerful thing, this faith. Faith cannot help doing good works constantly. It doesn’t stop to ask if good works ought to be done, but before anyone asks, it already has done them and continues to do them without ceasing. Anyone who does not do good works in this manner is an unbeliever. He stumbles around and looks for faith and good works, even though he does not know what faith or good works are. Yet he gossips and chatters about faith and good works with many words.

Faith is a living, bold trust in God’s grace, so certain of God’s favor that it would risk death a thousand times trusting in it. Such confidence and knowledge of God’s grace makes you happy, joyful and bold in your relationship to God and all creatures. The Holy Spirit makes this happen through faith. Because of it, you freely, willingly and joyfully do good to everyone, serve everyone, suffer all kinds of things, love and praise the God who has shown you such grace. Thus, it is just as impossible to separate faith and works as it is to separate heat and light from fire! Therefore, watch out for your own false ideas and guard against good-for-nothing gossips, who think they’re smart enough to define faith and works, but really are the greatest of fools. Ask God to work faith in you, or you will remain forever without faith, no matter what you wish, say or can do.

Martin Luther

Do we do all this alone?

  1. Sola scriptura (“by Scripture alone”)
  2. Sola fide (“by faith alone”)
  3. Sola gratia (“by grace alone”)
  4. Solus Christus or Solo Christo (“Christ alone” or “through Christ alone”)
  5. Soli Deo gloria (“glory to God alone”)

While this oversimplifies the purpose of faith, I also worry about individualism in place of community.

Doctrine

I’ve taught Sunday school and Wednesday night classes to adults and children. I’ve taught parenting classes, Bible classes, financial classes, health classes.

I’ve been criticized for sarcasm, jokes, my appearance, photography, crafts, storybook read alouds, and more.

Not many of you should become teachers, because we know that we teachers will be judged more strictly.

James 3:1

I’m tired of being told I’m a sinner, evil, bad, wrong.

I’m tired of being told what I can and can’t read, watch, eat, do, wear.

I’m not caught up in rules or legalism.

The older and wiser I get, the fewer rules I find important.

We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28

I have no patience for discrimination or exclusion.

I’m not interested in a vanilla church that looks like a private country club and has worthless social events.

I don’t want our family members separated out at the door of a church building to go to age-segregated classrooms to learn about complementarianism.

It’s not my job to be the Holy Spirit to my family.

I don’t believe that my kids can’t doubt or ask hard questions about God, Jesus, the Bible.

I don’t believe in stressing out on the American idea of Heaven and Hell.

Jesus died on a cross to show us what love looks like in action.

Nearly half of young LGBT people who are left homeless after coming out are from religious backgrounds.

That’s according to research by the Albert Kennedy Trust (AKT), which supports young people who are at risk of homelessness.

The charity says three in four LGBT people are rejected by their families – and 45% of that number are from a faith background.

Nomia Iqbal and Josh Parry, BBC

We stopped going to church for many reasons. I have yet to find a church that is not complicit in racism and sexism, even if they are actively engaged in social justice and trying hard. I’m not interested in an American nationalist capitalist Jesus.

Being complicit only requires a muted response in the face of injustice or uncritical support of the status quo.

Jemar Tisby

I enjoy reading to my family and learning and growing in our faith together. We read lots about church fathers, saints, missionaries, poetry, nature…God is everywhere.

History

I feel it’s important to understand church history and the history of all world religions.

I love comparing and contrasting religions around the world.

I find history fascinating and I love learning how parallel and similar world religions are.

We learn a great deal about the origins of religions during our Ancient History studies every few years.

We enjoyed learning about and visiting churches in Europe.

We learn the Old Testament stories like the literature, myths, and legends they are.

We read about missionaries and discuss what they did wrong and right about evangelizing and helping people.

I enjoy exploring the music traditions, celebrations, and unique customs of religions.

Practice

Adhering to our faith, expanding our knowledge, and learning history isn’t enough.

We have to put into practice what we believe.

Acts of love, mercy, and grace are important.

Charity work and volunteering are difficult with young kids when most organizations want only adults.

What good is it, dear brothers and sisters, if you say you have faith but don’t show it by your actions? Can that kind of faith save anyone? Suppose you see a brother or sister who has no food or clothing, and you say, “Good-bye and have a good day; stay warm and eat well”—but then you don’t give that person any food or clothing. What good does that do? So you see, faith by itself isn’t enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless. Now someone may argue, “Some people have faith; others have good deeds.” But I say, “How can you show me your faith if you don’t have good deeds? I will show you my faith by my good deeds.” You say you have faith, for you believe that there is one God. Good for you! Even the demons believe this, and they tremble in terror. How foolish! Can’t you see that faith without good deeds is useless? Don’t you remember that our ancestor Abraham was shown to be right with God by his actions when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? You see, his faith and his actions worked together. His actions made his faith complete. And so it happened just as the Scriptures say: “Abraham believed God, and God counted him as righteous because of his faith.” He was even called the friend of God. So you see, we are shown to be right with God by what we do, not by faith alone.

James 2:14-24

I believe in “Kingdom come on Earth as it is in Heaven.”

We are the church and we are the hands and feet of God.

We need to show Heaven to the People.

We are the Kingdom of God. It is at hand. Reach out for it!

Inclusive Reading list:

World Faith

Christianity, Buddhism, Islam, Hinduism, and Judaism are the main world religions. There are lots of variations within them and other smaller faiths and beliefs throughout the world.

Panentheism: the belief or doctrine that God is greater than the universe and includes and interpenetrates it.

I teach my kids the history and customs of other faiths and traditions. I want them to understand and not fear others who are different. We are delighted by some of the customs in their simplicity, complexity, and beauty.

We see things on media that incite fear and otherness and I won’t allow that to dictate our views. We discuss it and refute it.

Love wins.

Resources:

How do you teach religion to your children?

Famous People of Church History Notebooking Pages
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Languages of Learning

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As a teacher and homeschool mom, it’s important that I know how best to teach each of my individual students so that they learn best.

There are many different personality types and styles of learning and I want to utilize best methods to teach my kids so they are most successful.

Five Languages of Learning

There are at least five main ways that people express their learning language, with one way usually being more predominant than others.

1. Visual (Spatial):

Visual learners benefit when they have an image or cue to help them process information. They may need to map things out in order to completely understand their thoughts.

Characteristics of visual learners include: 

  • A good spatial and directional sense
  • Can easily visualize objects, plans, and outcomes
  • Are good at using maps and rarely get lost

2. Aural (Auditory-Music):

This is a very unique type of learning and is classified by those who primarily respond to sound. Many people who are aural learners are also musicians, and learn the information better when it’s presented through the medium of a song or a clever rhyme.

Characteristics include:

  • Listens to music in the background while learning or working
  • Has a good sense of pitch or rhythm
  • Often hears songs, jingles, and themes in their head without prompts

3. Verbal (Linguistic):

Verbal learners are successful when they receive instruction verbally or through writing, and excel with both. These learners usually pursue careers in public speaking, writing, journalism, and debate. You may be a verbal learner if you need to read content aloud in order to learn something or if you prefer to have someone speak the information to you so you can process it.

Characteristics include:

  • Enjoys reading and writing
  • Likes tongue twisters and rhymes
  • Has a large vocabulary and enjoys learning new words

4. Physical (Kinesthetic):

The people who learn physically are the people who like to get their hands dirty. Physical learners are very animated and are always moving. If you don’t learn something until you do it, or are constantly in motion while you speak, you might be a physical learner.

Other characteristics include:

  • Appreciation for the physical world around them
  • Enjoys sports, exercise, and other outdoor activities
  • Tends to use and pick up on body language

5. Logical (Mathematical):

Many logical thinkers end up being engineers, mathematicians, or pursuing the sciences. This is because of their unique way of learning. These individuals want to understand the reason behind everything and enjoy games like chess and doing brainteasers. Logical learners tend to prefer making organized lists while studying and extracting key points from the material.

Logical learner characteristics also include:

  • Create procedures for future use
  • Classify and group information together to gain a better understanding
  • Planning and ranking agendas and itineraries

Which learning language do you speak best?

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Our Family’s Learning Styles and Personality Types

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Realistic Homeschool Schedule

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I struggled with *getting it all done* when the kids were young.

I thought I had to get up before the crack of dawn and read Bible devotionals and do high impact workouts before the kids woke up.

I wondered why I was so stressed and tired all the time.

My kids are 19, 14, 13, and 10 this year.

I would love to say that life’s a breeze now but that would be a lie.

I could paint a rosy picture of everyone being super independent and getting along 100% with all chores and work completed to excellence and in a timely manner all day, every day.

But that’s not reality for anyone.

Our schedules have evolved over the years:

I update my philosophy for homeschooling and living priorities frequently. I prefer relaxed, streamlined, stress-free to busy, rushing, and cluttered. I thrive with a slow schedule.

If a chore or assignment doesn’t get completed today, there’s always tomorrow. My kids don’t need harsh deadlines right now.

We clean what needs to be cleaned without a strict chore chart. We all live here and we all pitch in when we can. Some things get tidied almost daily and others weekly. Some things get forgotten until it’s embarrassing. I’ve made sure to encourage my kids to be helpers from a very young age and they almost always have great attitudes when asked to help with a task.

We all live here all day, every day. I won’t apologize when it seems most people who work full time and have their kids go to school have spotless homes because they’re never there and/or hire maids.

I like getting up when my body is ready and feeding the birds while I wait for my coffee. I enjoy the ease of snuggles on the sofa during read alouds every day. I don’t mind postponing dinner to look at sunset or the moon or because they don’t want to come inside just yet.

This is my mission field. This is my church.

I am raising life givers, world changers, lovers of nature and humanity, laughers at the impossible, greeters of the birdsong.

Our Realistic Schedule:

My eldest works a part time job at a local bank typically Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Saturday mornings. I drive her and sometimes pick her up for her lunch break and my husband or I pick her up when her shift is over.

She shares our VW Beetle, and my husband drives it to work Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. We also have a minivan for the family.

She takes college courses Tuesdays and Thursdays. She drives herself to class in the VW and my husband takes the minivan to work those days.

I don’t have access to a car those days. It works fine for us for now. I just schedule appointments and make sure to run errands and go grocery shopping Monday, Wednesday, or Friday.

Every weekday

My son and I usually get up around 8 AM.

I make a hot breakfast for my younger three kids.

I get the middle girls up.

My youngest daughter never wants to get out of bed. Her breakfast is usually cold by the time she comes downstairs, no matter how proactive my planning might be.

I unload the dishwasher and usually start a load of laundry. Doing a load of laundry every day keeps me on top of it. It’s mostly pajamas, loungewear, workout clothes, and my husband’s uniforms. I really don’t wash the towels and bedding as often as I should.

I plan dinner if it’s not already thought out and thawed.

After breakfast, I do read alouds – religion, history, literature, science, and Life of Fred math.

Then the kids individually work on their science, vocabulary workbooks, foreign language, notebooking pages.

I switch the laundry to the dryer. I catch up on writing and social media.

Lunchtime is usually leftovers or something quick and easy.

Afternoons (usually Monday, Wednesday, Friday) are reserved for errands, shopping, or finishing up school work. I help the kids with notebooking or maps.

When Dad gets home from work, he does the math lessons and reviews science and completes any demonstrations or experiments with the kids.

I often go on a walk (about 1.5 miles) in the evenings, before dark, so earlier in winter and later in summer. The kids and my husband sometimes accompany me.

We all eat a hot dinner together every night.

When it’s nice out, the kids play, ride bikes, roller blade, scooter, go to their friends’ houses in the neighborhood, play catch or scoops in the front yard. Otherwise and in addition to that, the kids read, play video games, watch shows after dinner.

Almost every night, I take an Epsom salt bath before bed – with chamomile tea. It’s me time.

Bedtime is usually around 10 PM. iPads are plugged in to charge in my bedroom and wifi is turned off at midnight so we sleep better.

Sundays

These are usually easy days. I have little responsibility on Sundays. We have a big breakfast and usually a nice relaxing dinner. When it’s nice out, we go on nature hikes. Some seasons, there are soccer or baseball games.

Mondays

I feel most productive on Mondays. I clear away the stress and mess of the weekend.

Tuesdays

This is our boring day. Nothing special and I’m ok with that.

Wednesdays

My husband takes our son to ninja lessons. Dinner is after that.

Thursdays

The two oldest girls have aerial gymnastics. Dinner is after that.

Fridays

Homemade pizza and movie night!

Saturdays

We don’t really have a weekend schedule. Saturdays are for yard work and big chores. Relaxing with movies if it’s rainy or very cold. Catching up with math and science and projects. There are sometimes baseball or soccer games during those seasons. We often like to grill and have a relaxed dinner.

I keep our schedule flexible so we don’t get overwhelmed.

I like having a lot of free time to be spontaneous like hiking in the woods near our backyard creek or baking brownies. We can go for a walk or watch a movie together.

I do not limit screentime or food. I make suggestions. I try to model healthy behavior. Some days, it’s a down day because someone doesn’t feel well or whatever. If someone tries to get a lot of junk food right before a meal time or bedtime, I ask if they think that’s a good idea. I also don’t buy a lot of junk food except on special occasions. If someone doesn’t like a meal or misses it due to an event, she is free to eat whatever they like afterwards.

We don’t stress over any academics because they will always get done one way or another. Academics aren’t the most important thing to me. I am not striving for my kids to get perfect scores on standardized tests or into the best college. Since we don’t follow a public school schedule, we don’t do grades or levels or testing, and my kids are happy.

I prefer to focus on guiding my kids in their critical thinking and being kind and loving to everyone.

We flow along with the seasons and I love watching my children grow and change as I guide them along with life and learning.

Resources:

  • Teach Your Own: The Indispensable Guide to Living and Learning with Children at Home by John Holt
  • Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers  by Gordon Neufeld
  • Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids by Kim John Payne and Lisa M. Ross
  • Free-Range Kids: How Parents and Teachers Can Let Go and Let Grow by Lenore Skenazy
  • Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason by Alfie Kohn
  • Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children From Nature-Deficit Disorder by Richard Louv
  • Balanced and Barefoot: How Unrestricted Outdoor Play Makes for Strong, Confident, and Capable Children by Angela J. Hanscom
  • Free to Learn: Why Unleashing the Instinct to Play Will Make Our Children Happier, More Self-Reliant, and Better Students for Life by Peter Gray

What does your schedule look like?

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Homeschool Space in Texas

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We began homeschooling in 2005, in San Antonio, Texas.

We didn’t have much of a clue what we were doing at that time and that ended up being the best thing!

We had no formal homeschooling space.

Liz used the kitchen table and a little plastic desk for a couple years to do workbooks and crafts.

We had an easel with a whiteboard on one side and a chalkboard on the other side.

We had a little aquarium on the other side of the half wall. Seamus the cat was always fascinated with it.

We had a little backyard garden.

We had lots of books. We spent most of our time on field trips, park days, playgrounds, libraries, running errands.

We cooked and cleaned and did chores. I sewed curtains and crafts with Liz.

I had two babies those two years in Texas, and Liz learned how to be a mama’s helpers with two new little sisters.

I love that we were actively living and learning the most during our first two years of homeschooling rather then the formality I explored for a few years. We went back to a more unschooling life as soon as a I knew better!


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Homeschool Space in Ohio
Homeschool Space in Utah
Homeschool Space in Hawaii
Homeschool Space in Germany

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Teaching Cinema History

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We live in an era of wonderful technology with streaming videos that I never imagined as a kid.

I look back on the history of movies and I am in awe of the imaginations and wonder and inventions that made it all possible.

I would spend my time after school and during summers watching classic films on AMC and TMC. I roamed Blockbuster and indie rental shops. I collected favorite films. I love having access to various films with streaming.

I love sharing my love of movies with my children.

There is a plethora of topics in film. It would take years to learn all the details, but I can outline a few that I discuss with my kids.

I like to watch movies like I read books. We discuss archetypes, themes, symbolism, method, theory.

Film is a great way to learn history, science, review literature, and enjoy science fiction and speculative fiction topics.

We often check out DVDs from the library. We stream movies and shows on Netflix, Amazon, Hulu, and Disney+. We also have a vast collection.

Cinema Topics Discussion:

McCarthyism and blacklisting during the anti-Communist hysteria of the 1950s.

How is the use of propaganda and advertising in film and video media used?

The Bechdel Test, or Bechdel–Wallace Test, is a measure of the representation of women in fiction. It asks whether a work features at least two women who talk to each other about something other than a man. The requirement that the two women must be named is sometimes added.

The #MeToo Movement and Weinstein (and others) sexual assault cases.

Minority representation – race, gender, sexual orientation and stereotypes portrayed in film. We need to talk about how people are portrayed in film. Compare films from decades ago (and there’s sure to be another dang remake or reboot soon) and recent films. Did they improve their stereotypes or dialogue?

How is mental illness portrayed? Is it accurate, stereotyped, toned down, or acceptable?

How are villains idolized? Has the good vs. evil theme changed over the decades? Is it more gray or blurred now?

Censorship has evolved over the decades. Should films with questionable or offensive or outdated content be censored or unavailable?

Awards events are popular to watch, even if it’s just to see the red carpet costumes. Which movies are most represented and nominated for awards? Who are the sponsors, judges, announcers?

Cinema History

Early Cinema

In 1891, the Edison Company in the USA successfully demonstrated a prototype of the Kinetoscope, which enabled one person at a time to view moving pictures.

The first to present projected moving pictures to a paying audience were the Lumière brothers in December 1895 in Paris.

Silent Film Era

The work of Muybridge, Marey, and Le Prince laid the foundation for future development of motion picture cameras, projectors and transparent celluloid film, which lead to the development of cinema as we know it today. American inventor George Eastman, who had first manufactured photographic dry plates in 1878, made headway on a stable type of celluloid film in 1888 of sensitized paper roll photographic film (instead of metal or glass plates) and a convenient “Kodak” small box camera (a still camera) that used the roll film. He later further improved the paper roll film with his 1889 invention: perforated celluloid.

From the mid-1890s to the late 1920s, a pianist, theater organist—or even, in large cities, a small orchestra—would often play music to accompany the films.

Sound

The first feature-length movie incorporating synchronised dialogue, The Jazz Singer in 1927, used the Warner Brothers’ Vitaphone system, which employed a separate record disc with each reel of film for the sound.

Technicolor

The Technicolor process, perfected in 1932, originally used a beam-splitting optical cube, in combination with the camera lens, to expose three black-and-white films. Each image was captured simultaneously on a separate band of black-and-white film.

Hollywood

During the 1930s and 1940s, cinema was the principal form of popular entertainment in the USA and is considered The Golden Age.

The House Un-American Activities Committee investigated Hollywood in the early 1950s. This decade marked a “golden age” for non-English world cinema, especially in Asia. Television caused many film theatres to close.

The 1960s saw a rise in British and French film.

The production code was replaced in 1968 by the MPAA film rating system.

The 1970s saw an increasing popularity of the auteur theory, which assumes a film director’s films express their personal vision and creative insights. Also, a rise of West German cinema. Called the “post-classical” era, films from this decade are characterized by shady protagonists, endings with a twist and flashbacks. Adult cinemas also were popular, but died out in the 1980s when the VCR allowed home viewing.

Bollywood was coined for the growing Hindi film industry in Mumbai that dominates South Asian cinema. Hindi filmmakers combined the Hollywood musical formula with the conventions of ancient Indian theatre to create a new film genre called “Masala.” These films portray action, comedy, drama, romance, and melodrama all at once, with “filmi” song and dance routines thrown in.

The 1980s saw the rise of Hong Kong action cinema and huge blockbuster Hollywood hits.

First British multiplex at Milton Keynes in 1985. The rise of the multiplex cinema did not allow fewer mainstream films to be shown, but allowed major blockbusters to get an even greater number of screenings. Films that were overlooked in cinemas were increasingly being given a second chance on home video.

The 1990s saw popularity in indie film to finance and produce non-mainstream fare. Special effects films were spectacular. DVDs replaced VCRs for home viewing media.

The 2000s saw increasing globalization of cinema.

After 2010, the largest film industries by number of feature films produced were those of India, the United States, China, Nigeria and Japan.

3D and IMAX

3D films have existed in some form since 1915. The earliest confirmed 3D film shown to an out-of-house audience was The Power of Love, which premiered at the Ambassador Hotel Theater in Los Angeles on September 27, 1922.

The standard for shooting live-action films in 3D involves using two cameras mounted so that their lenses are about as far apart from each other as the average pair of human eyes, recording two separate images for both the left eye and the right eye.

The first IMAX cinema projection standards were developed in the late 1960s and early 1970s in Canada. The IMAX film standard uses 70 mm film run through the projector horizontally.

3D films were prominently featured in the 1950s in American cinema, and later experienced a worldwide resurgence in the 1980s and 1990s driven by IMAX high-end theaters and Disney-themed venues.

Animation

Wow, this is a whole other unit study. My youngest daughter is fascinated by animation and we love learning about it.

Timeline:

  1. Shadow play
  2. Magic Lantern
  3. Mechanics
  4. Stop Motion
  5. Traditional
  6. Silent
  7. Sound
  8. Cartoons
  9. Feature films
  10. TV

I want my kids to have a wide range of knowledge of cartoons in all their joy. They’ve watched all the stuff I watched as a kid. We really love Anime like Studio Ghibli and how gorgeous the drawings are.

Television/Cable/Satellite

Television networks are in control of the most valuable prime time slots available for programming, so syndicators of independent television films have to settle for fewer television markets and less desirable time periods. This means much smaller advertising revenues and license fees compared with network-supplied programming.

Cable television originated in the United States almost simultaneously in Arkansas, Oregon and Pennsylvania in 1948 to enhance poor reception of over-the-air television signals in mountainous or geographically remote areas.

By 1952, 70 “cable” systems served 14,000 subscribers nationwide.

By 1962, almost 800 cable systems serving 850,000 subscribers were in business.

In 1972, Charles Dolan and Gerald Levin of Sterling Manhattan Cable launched the nation’s first pay-TV network, Home Box Office (HBO). This venture led to the creation of a national satellite distribution system that used a newly approved domestic satellite transmission. Satellites changed the business dramatically, paving the way for the explosive growth of program networks.

Deregulation provided by the 1984 Act had a strong positive effect on the rapid growth of cable services. From 1984 through 1992, the industry spent more than $15 billion on the wiring of America, and billions more on program development. This was the largest private construction project since World War II.

In 1998, America On-Line moved on an historic merger with Time Warner and its cable properties to form AOL Time Warner.

In 2001, AT&T agreed to fold its cable systems with those of Comcast Corp., creating the largest ever cable operator with more than 22 million customers.

The digital TV transition leapt forward in 2003, as substantial gains were made in the deployment of High-Definition Television (HDTV), Video-on-Demand (VOD), digital cable, and other advanced services.

Cable Operators have reinvented television, creating TV that goes where customers go. Wherever you are, on whatever device you choose.

VCR/DVD/Streaming

The first VCR player was developed by the Ampex Corporation – VRX-1000 in 1956.

The first DVD player was the Toshiba SD-3000. It was first released over in Japan November, 1996, and was crazy expensive.

“Streaming” was applied in the early 1990s as a better description for video on demand and later live video on IP networks. It was first done by Starlight Networks for video streaming and Real Networks for audio streaming.

Copyright infringement of films has run rampant.

It’s amazing how technology has changed and how much movies mean to us throughout history.

Fave directors:

  • Alfred Hitchcock
  • Stanley Kubrick
  • Ridley Scott
  • John Carpenter
  • Sam Raimi
  • Tim Burton
  • George Lucas
  • Steven Spielberg
  • Robert Zemeckis
  • Jane Campion
  • Yimou Zhang
  • Jordan Peele

Resources:

What’s your favorite movie of all time?

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A Mother’s Résumé

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I haven’t worked at a “real job” for at least a dozen years.

It’s frustrating that introductory small talk still focuses on “What do you do?” and is disdainful or even scornful of motherhood as a vocation. People even dare ask or mention that my education was a waste. It’s like my only worth is in a salary or job for pay outside my home.

These microaggressions don’t endear me to people whom I’ve just met. They dismiss me as unimportant because I don’t have a salary and it’s so frustrating.

Motherhood isn’t valued in American culture. Homeschooling is still considered weird.

There’s little purpose to keeping up my LinkedIn profile.

I can’t imagine going back to teach at any school, at any level. I sometimes miss the classroom, but the hassles and negatives don’t outweigh the few positives. I don’t have current state certification and I don’t have any desire to jump through hoops to recertify.

If you hired someone to do the work of maintaining a household, especially if you have children, the cost would be approximately $ 90,000 a year. This is what a “traditional” at-home spouse would get paid today to clean the house, be a personal shopper and personal assistant, run errands, and take care of the children.

Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by John Gottman, Ph.D., Julie Schwartz Gottman Ph.D., Doug Abrams,  Rachel Carlton Abrams M.D.,

Things You Didn’t Put on Your Résumé

How often you got up in the middle of the night
when one of your children had a bad dream,

and sometimes you woke because you thought
you heard a cry but they were all sleeping,

so you stood in the moonlight just listening
to their breathing, and you didn’t mention

that you were an expert at putting toothpaste
on tiny toothbrushes and bending down to wiggle

the toothbrush ten times on each tooth while
you sang the words to songs from Annie, and

who would suspect that you know the fingerings
to the songs in the first four books of the Suzuki

Violin Method and that you can do the voices
of Pooh and Piglet especially well, though

your absolute favorite thing to read out loud is
Bedtime for Frances and that you picked

up your way of reading it from Glynis Johns,
and it is, now that you think of it, rather impressive

that you read all of Narnia and all of the Ring Trilogy
(and others too many to mention here) to them

before they went to bed and on the way out to
Yellowstone, which is another thing you don’t put

on the résumé: how you took them to the ocean
and the mountains and brought them safely home.

~Joyce Sutphen

As a mother for the past 19 years, I can attest to having quite an impressive work history and specific skill set.

The mental workload of being a mother far outweighs any “job” I’ve ever had.

As a teacher in various school and classroom environments, then as a homeschool educator for the last 15 years, I honed my expertise by focusing on my students’ unique needs.

As a military spouse, I retained my skills and honed a lot of new ones over the last decade and a half.

There are no gaps in my work history. I worked constantly, year-round, daily, overnights, with no vacation days, through sickness and injury, and during two deployments with no assistance or support.

Experience

Director of Child Development

$39,744 average annual salary

  • Oversee social, academic, and emotional development of students from birth until adulthood
  • Develop educational programs and standards
  • Design program plans, oversee daily activities, and prepare budget for activities and curriculum
  • Support gross and fine motor skills
  • Maintain instructional excellence

Educational Leadership

$88,390 average annual salary

  • Knowledge of pedagogy and methodology
  • Relationship building
  • Continuing education in field regarding trends, concerns, issues
  • Global mindset
  • Plan cross-curricular lessons for various ages, abilities, interests
  • Conflict resolution
  • Extensive library
  • Use of technology
  • Personalize feedback on student assignments
  • Advise students regarding academic courses and career opportunities
  • Encourage students to present their views and participate in discussion
  • Share personal experiences and values
  • Record keeping

Project Management

$134,182 average annual salary

  • Initiating, planning, executing, controlling, and closing the work of a team to achieve specific goals and meet specific success criteria at the specified time.
  • Establish expectations
  • Be proactive
  • Organization
  • Risk management
  • Delegation
  • Teamwork
  • Growth Mindset

Life Coach

$46,678 average annual salary

  • Discuss needs and goals
  • Develop strategies and plans
  • Keep records of progress
  • Evaluation
  • Adjust goal strategies as needed
  • Assist manage stress and increase productivity
  • Excellent listening and questioning skills
  • Confidence to challenge in a caring way
  • Support goal-setting, personal growth, and behavior modification 

Domestic Engineer

$59,496 average annual salary

  • Oversee operations of all systems and procedures
  • Budget for and allocated appropriate expenditures
  • Delegate operational tasks to promote equal labor division
  • Maintain cleanliness and sanitation of all work, play, and living areas
  • Food purchasing, preparation, and storage
  • Multi-tasking
  • Home economics
  • Laundry expertise
  • Basic mending ability by hand and sewing machine
  • Organization and efficiency

Religious Advisor

$58,130 average annual salary

  • Education about religion and faith through various books, activities, social justice, music, tradition, travel
  • Evolve faith through experience and learning
  • Help understand spirituality to promote peace, healing, and union with God and others
  • sensitivity, empathy, and understanding
  • Ensure proper growth and relational development
  • Spiritual counsel and advice
  • Meet their spiritual, emotional, and relational goals
  • Meditation and contemplation

Protocol Officer

$71,135 average annual salary

  •  Research traditions and customs
  • Distinguish between time-honored tradition and mindless repetition
  • Knowledge of preferences and customs of each person
  • Prioritize welcome and respect
  • Educate daily on etiquette and customs for various situations
  • Minimize or eliminate any opportunity for embarrassment or offense
  • Establish and enforce consistency using logic
  • Develop itineraries and agendas
  • Identify security risks and create safety plans

Travel and Event Planner

$41,873 average annual salary

  • Research, suggest, and decide where to go, methods of transportation, car rentals, hotel accommodations, tours, and attractions
  • Advise about weather conditions, local customs, attractions, necessary documents, and currency exchange rates
  • Visualization
  • Organization and planning
  • Plan and execute ceremonies and special events     

Budget Analyst

$71,590 average annual salary

  • Manage family finances, analyze and prepare monthly expenditures
  • Estimate future financial needs
  • Research of domestic economic and spending trends
  • Develop projections based on past economic and spending trends
  • Technical analysis, monitoring spending for deviations, and preparing monthly and annual reports
  • Analyze investments and their market performance
  • Education about financial terms, issues, trends, economic history

Historian

$55,800 average annual salary

  • Organize data, and analyze and interpret its authenticity and relative significance
  • Gather historical data from sources such as archives, court records, diaries, news files, and photographs, as well as collect data sources such as books, pamphlets, and periodicals
  • Thorough investigative and research skills
  • Analyze and interpret information
  • Interest in human behaviour, culture and society
  • Enquiring mind

Personal Stylist

$50,346 average annual salary

  • Attention to detail
  • Analytical mind
  • Problem-solving ability
  • Knowledge of fabrics, colors, seasonal items, accessories, etiquette
  • Knowledge brands, designs, trends

Personal Chef

$62,282 average annual salary

  • Customize unique meal and snack plans
  • Skilled at recognizing flavors and judging the balance of seasonings
  • Knowledge of kitchen tools and appliances and their uses
  • Procure and organize various recipes
  • Shop for all groceries within budget
  • Prepare the meal in a timely manner
  • Clean up the kitchen to excellent standards
  • Store leftovers promptly

Chauffeur

$22,440 average annual salary

  • Transport people to various activities in a safe and timely manner
  • Stock vehicles with amenities
  • Keep vehicles shiny and clean
  • Vehicle maintenance and repair

Waste Management

$64,000 average annual salary

  • Plan, implement, and coordinate comprehensive waste systems designed to maximize waste prevention, reuse, and recycling opportunities.
  • Evaluate the success of plans and make changes as necessary.
  • Minimize the impact of waste to protect the environment.

Plumber

$50,620 average annual salary

  • Unclog sink drains and pipes as needed
  • Replace salt in home water softener
  • Humidify and/or dehumidify the air in home
  • Repair water supply lines, waste disposal systems, and related appliances and fixtures

Special Skills

  • Good at untying knots
  • Feeding picky children and spouse
  • Finder of lost things
  • Making shoddy rental houses comfy and homey
  • Empath
  • Introvert
  • Comforter
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Initiative
  • Time management
  • Stress management
  • Interpersonal relationships
  • Excellent verbal and written communication

Research

I can research anything. I enjoy researching. I loved researching literary, psychological, and educational analyses in university – and all the details of citing the sources properly. I can find anything on Google. Over time, I just have learned the best keywords for a search. I can find the best whatever we’re looking for in minutes, before we move to a new base or city. I research what we’re learning about in our homeschool and design my own curriculum.

Frugal

We have learned to thrive with one income. We’ve learned to survive with one vehicle. I’ve worked with very tight budgets as we’ve raised and homeschooled four kids all over. We focus on eating well and traveling and living life to the fullest. We’re investing for the future with 529s, IRAs, mutual funds, life insurance, and retirement plans. We’re paying down debt.

Multitasking

I can do it all and do it well. When life gets hectic, I’m in charge to streamline everything. I have a great memory and seldom get sidetracked for long.

Adaptable

Things change. We’ve received written orders that have changed last minute. We had to cancel plans to travel on vacation in order to PCS. We’ve had extensions fall through. We’ve experienced deployments. I have to stay flexible. I have to be strong for my kids.

Critical Thinking

I don’t want my kids just to regurgitate information and blindly obey. I want them to know right from wrong and question everything – me, tradition, reality, authority – why? why? WHY?

Observation, analysis, interpretation, reflection, evaluation, inference, explanation, problem solving, and decision making

  • Understand the logical connections between ideas.
  • Determine the importance and relevance of arguments and ideas.
  • Recognise, build, and appraise arguments.
  • Identify inconsistencies and errors in reasoning.
  • Approach problems in a consistent and systematic way.
  • Reflect on the justification of their own assumptions, beliefs, and values.

Education

M.Ed. secondary English education, gifted endorsement

B.A. English literature with minor in psychology, cum laude

Summary

As a military spouse, I have some unique skills.

I may have developed these abilities anyway.

But my life is very different than it could have been because I married an Air Force officer, my dad retired from the Army Reserves, and both my parents worked as GS employees since forever.

Being a military spouse can be like having a full-time job. Much of the expertise I’ve developed over the years are highly transferable and marketable in the workforce.

All in different seasons and different bases, I have worked outside the house, stayed at home, worked from home, and considered going back to school. I have a master’s degree in education, so that’s essentially an expensive piece of paper at this point since I don’t want to go back to teach in a school.

Every day, I develop and further solidify impressive marketable life experience just by supporting my active duty husband, being a stay-at-home mom, and homeschooling my kids. 

I may not have an impressive résumé or curriculum vitae, but I know what my abilities are.

My worth is not only in what I do. My value is not in the income I bring or don’t bring into our household. As a wife, mother, and homeschooler, I have intrinsic value in the efficiency of my household management.

The TRUTH about the military spouse job search.

There’s little to no personal fulfillment.

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Our Curriculum for 2019-2020

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I have reached the apex of homeschooling where my kids are pretty much independent learners!

I highly recommend the books by Louise Bates Ames. A good guide to follow are the What Your ?-Grader Needs to Know by E.D. Hirsch, Jr.

I don’t have little kids anymore!

More and more, I just stand back in awe and watch them create and perform.

We love learning and exploring together!

My eldest daughter is 18 and beginning her first official year of college! She has a part time job as a bank teller.

My middle girls are doing 8th grade work.

Tori is 13 and doing Greek 2 and Katie is 12 and is continuing German.

We’re looking into private art lessons for Katie. She does fall soccer. She loves to cook and draw and create.

Tori practices weekly aerial arts at a local gym.

My son is doing 5th grade work.

Alex is 9 and does fall and spring baseball and weekly ninja classes. He won 3rd place recently in a ninja competition!

We’re in year 4 of our history cycle.

We still do lots of morning read alouds together for Bible, church history, natural history, Life of Fred, world and American history, and literature.

I can’t believe how time has flown!

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Homeschool Schedule with Teens

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Life has seemed to slow down lots now that my kids are older.

When the kids were little, it seemed like I constantly ran, was perpetually exhausted.

It’s so much easier now. But sometimes, it seems so difficult too.

We protect our time and space for peace.

Each child has only one or two activities so we’re not overscheduled.

My eldest daughter is starting college and does private art lessons.

My middle daughter practices aerial gymnastics and makes jewelry.

My youngest daughter does fall soccer and art lessons.

My son does fall and spring baseball and weekly ninja classes. He’s not quite a teen yet, but he’s sure not my little boy anymore.

They’re all so independent now. Time slips through my fingers.

I try to wake up early to make a hot breakfast, clean the kitchen, start laundry, get my writing completed for the day.

Bedtime is often haphazard. There is seldom snuggling, stories, and prayers anymore. Often, we still do reading and devotions after dinner on the sofas after evenings walks and before wind down. But something definitely is lost and I miss it.

I try really hard to do tuck-ins but it’s often spurned these days. I’m often ready for bedtime and sleeptime before they are.

The best times are when we gather to listen to owls or tree frogs, watch for backyard bats, notice the moon and stars and clouds, have a heron sighting, taste a fresh tomato and herbs that we grew, go giddy over first snowflakes, rolling thunder, the smell of rain on a hot summer day, the intricacies of a perfectly formed veiny golden leaf or butterfly.

I refuse to curate perfection for social media or have a showroom house.

I refuse to give up ties to Nature.

We cycle with the seasons.

We seldom set alarm clocks. We’re not rushed. We flow.

There are some things we do year-round for continuity.

It’s just good to be flexible.

Our Schedule with Teens:

In summer, we’re at play.

We sleep late, stay up late with the sunshine.

We eat breakfast or brunch whenever we get up, usually between 8 and 9. The kids pack themselves picnic lunches and hike into the woods. We have family dinners outside on the deck if it’s cool enough.

We catch up on Netflix shows.

We enjoy observing the hummingbirds and woodpeckers and other critters that come to our backyard feeders.

The kids often swim down the street with their friend at his pool. We play with water balloons and water guns.

They go on bike rides or rollerblading.

Boredom is a good thing and sparks imagination and creativity.

We look at the night sky. We watch thunderstorms.

I want to teach them a lifetime of wonder.

In fall, we begin a new school cycle.

We read together every morning after breakfast.

They complete their lessons and have the afternoons mostly to themselves to do what they want.

We cook more with cooler weather. It’s fun trying new recipes.

We go on nature hikes to look at leaves.

Learning is a lifestyle for us, but we are more focused and scheduled in fall and winter.

Family dinners are often rushed, later, or on the go with soccer and baseball season.

We enjoy celebrating the harvest festivals. Fall is a magical time.

In winter, we’re at rest.

While the world seems to go to sleep and become dormant, we snuggle up indoors with candles and blankets.

We read more and watch educational shows.

We practice Hygge.

We still go outside on walks to look at nature changes.

We make soups and stews and bake a lot.

Family dinners are more of an event. We have the time to be more elaborate.

We celebrate feasts and festivals.

In spring, we awaken.

We stretch towards the warm sun like flowers blooming after the winter.

We’re finishing up our school lessons for the year.

We look forward to summer while we watch the world wake up and be reborn.

We greet each new bud and shade of green with awe and joy.

We’re ready for playtime again.

How does your family flow?

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Teaching Kids About Money

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I’ve always talked openly to my children about money.

It never occurred to me to be any other way. My parents were open with me and I learned so much as a teenager, sitting in on their meetings with financial advisors, housing brokers, and bankers.

My husband’s family did not discuss finances and it shows.

It’s important that I actively teach my kids about finances.

State and federal salaries are public knowledge, so I’ve always been open with my kids about what we have, how we save, investing, and spending.

While I don’t necessarily expect them to maintain all my values explicitly, I want them to have the knowledge to make wise money decisions.

How I Teach My Kids About Money

Value

From as early as they express interest or show readiness, I teach about value.

Value isn’t just monetary worth. It’s the regard it is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something.

I hold certain things with very high value that others do not. It’s about priorities.

When my kids accompany me while shopping, I constantly point out value to them, why we buy this item instead of that item. I’m not brand loyal, except for a very few items that have proven quality.

It’s important the kids assist me while shopping and conversations often come up about our purchases and shopping trends.

When our toaster went belly-up, I researched a good replacement instead of just ordering one or rushing out to the store to purchase what was in stock.

We also discuss waste and limits. We eat leftovers. We prefer sustainability practices.

As my kids grow, they will develop their own priorities and set their own value to goods and services.

Quality is better than quantity.

Saving

My parents opened savings accounts for each of our children when they were born.

We encourage our children to contribute to their savings when they’re older and start working part-time jobs.

We explain the importance of having some liquid emergency savings for contingency.

We teach about investments. We teach about insurance.

We have 529s for our children for higher education. We have IRAs and mutual funds for retirement.

Pay yourself first.

Giving

Philanthropy is important.

I believe being generous should be a life goal.

While we are not wealthy by any standard, we donate often to charities with our funds and handmedowns.

We look for needs to fulfill. We don’t expect recognition or thanks.

Giving is more than just offering money. It’s a way of life, an attitude. Generosity of spirit.

“You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you.” ― John Bunyan

Spending

Many think spending is the easy part of money management.

After monthly bills are paid, investments funded, savings bumped, what is left over?

Sometimes, it’s not much.

I have a spending plan instead of a strict budget. We shop for groceries every week and clothing and miscellaneous as needed.

As my children get older and acquire their own money from gifts or small jobs, they learn how to spend it on items they want. They also learn about sales tax.

When teens get their first part time job, they learn first-hand about taxes and other deductions.

I recently had to have a conversation with my eldest about what she termed “our money troubles.” When I was confused, she explained she didn’t want to burden us financially. I was still confused. She asked why I always said we didn’t have any money.

When I say I don’t have the money, I mean that we have prioritized saving and investing over instant gratification.

I can afford almost anything.

I have the ability to accept risk of credit and debt, but I choose not to, so to me, that means I don’t have the cash money to buy something I consider frivolous or valueless.

I choose to make different financial decisions based on what I value. And I choose not to incur further debt.

Instead of buying another car, we are choosing to share vehicles right now.

Instead of choosing to travel or vacation, we are staying close to home and occasionally go on day trips nearby.

Opportunity Cost

It’s important to learn and teach the loss of potential gain from other alternatives when one alternative is chosen.

For instance, if my son wants to buy YuGioh cards with his birthday money, he can’t buy the BeyBlades. He has to make a choice.

I make harder choices all the time.

We batten down the hatches and get very frugal if an emergency comes up, like a car repair or pet surgery. We like to pay cash and not use credit cards whenever possible.

If I choose to get takeout for dinner one busy night, we have to eat home-cooked meals and clean out the freezer and pantry the rest of the pay period. It sometimes requires creativity.

We often wait for the hit movie to go to online streaming (even if we pay $5 to rent it) instead of paying so much for 6 of us to see it in the theater.

If my daughter needs new shoes, I wait to buy myself something, even if I “need” it.

It’s really important to learn the difference between needs and wants in our consumer post-capitalism society.

We discuss propaganda, marketing, and advertising. We discuss ads on social media and games.

I’m always last. I go without so they can have abundance.

Allowance or Commission

I don’t give my kids an allowance.

No one gives me an allowance.

We all complete chores that makes our household run smoothly.

Allowances aren’t natural. Commissions for small jobs work better and teach financial lessons.

My kids often ask if there’s some special task they can complete for some spending money and I almost always oblige.

Many banks offer teen debit cards that help them to learn how banking works. My kids all had savings accounts from birth and they added checking accounts when they began working part-time.

Often, I create little jobs they can do for a few dollars so they learn the value of working for pay. If they don’t do a good job, they don’t get paid. Sometimes, they have to go back over their work to do it well.

Debt

Living as a middle class American, we grew up thinking and believing that debt is just a part of life.

We live in an instant gratification disposable society. Advertisements are everywhere, affecting our emotions by telling us we aren’t good if we don’t have the newest smartphone, car, clothes, or toys.

Debt is a risk many accept as being a normal and expected part of our society.

Debt can also be slavery and devastating during financial downturns.

I actively teach my children that debt is typically bad in most, if not all, circumstances.

I know few people who are able to pay cash for cars or houses.

But we know many people who would be bankrupt or even homeless within a month if all their debt was called in or they lost their jobs.

I don’t believe in using credit cards except in emergencies.

Credit cards are ways to help teens and young adults gain credit, but they must be monitored well and paid off each month.

I don’t believe in student loans for college.

We have one car loan and one credit card. We are paying off a consolidation loan.

I teach my kids that by using loans and credit cards, you are paying twice.

You can’t pray debt away. I don’t buy into the prosperity gospel at all.

Personal Financial Goals

Everyone develops his or her own financial goals based on priorities, past history, income, and interests.

We choose to invest for our future.

We limit our instant gratification. It’s easier sometimes since we move around so frequently and can’t justify buying things just to sell them if we can’t take them with us.

We choose to travel rather than buy frivolous gifts, usually.

I choose to buy cut flowers every week to brighten my dining room. It’s something that makes me happy and I value that.

My kids seldom ask for things when we go shopping. When they do, it’s something super practical or for all of us. They understand the difference between needs and wants. They seldom ask to eat out.

I choose to buy the best quality food and cook most things from scratch because I enjoy it and it’s healthier for us. Yes, it costs more than beans, rice, ground meat. But we seldom eat out – which does cost a whole lot for a family of 6.

An acquaintance lives in a house valued at a $half million. Then I learned they haven’t invested anything for their kids’ college or for retirement. They just spend everything.

How do you teach your kids about value?

What are your financial goals?

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