With so many curriculum options out there and the rigors of a classical education, how do I know how much is too much or too little?

I certainly don’t want to overwhelm my kids, but I do want to challenge them.

• How do I maintain balance?

• How do I promote a love for learning?

• How do I make our school time fun and engaging?

• How do I get through those more difficult or disliked subjects?

• How do I know when I need to make changes – to our schedule, curriculum, or level?

While I still struggle with many of these issues…having an almost 17-year-old, an 11-year-old, a 10-year-old, and a 7-year-old boy makes me think I at least have gotten this far and I may know a little bit.

We certainly struggled in the beginning. We tried many different workbooks, curricula, even styles, before getting comfortable and somewhat settled. While I can’t even touch on all the issues that homeschool moms face, I can tell you what worked for us. It may work for you or guide you to evaluate and prioritize.

Start with the basics. Bible study, reading, writing, maths. Some seasons, this is all you need. Having the freedom and blessing to homeschool is enough. The kids learn so much about relationships and faith from being protected from the world. When they’re little, focus on manners, courtesy, and habits.

To borrow a little tidbit from Charlotte Mason …

“The well-brought-up child has always been a child carefully trained in good habits.” (Vol. 2, p. 174)

Find a history and science the whole family can do together. If you have two or more children, you will want to do this. Trust me. (We use Apologia sciences and Story of the World history and Tapestry of Grace.) There are options for every budget. We only do history and science a couple days a week until they’re 10 or so.

Determine which extras are important, interesting, within budget, or necessary. These vary from family to family. We study Latin. We have a soccer star, a runner, and a piano player so far. We desire to limit our time outside the house. We eat dinner together every night. Yes, even church events get in the way of family time sometimes. And we purposely do not participate in many church programs because they often undermine what we believe.

When our homeschool is out of balance, my kids tell me with misbehavior, whining, laziness, or tears. Instead of disciplining them for being overwhelmed, I must step back and reevaluate our priorities.

…Do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4)

We are blessed to school year round and we can take time off to focus on a unit we really love or to review a fun product. So I don’t stress the schedule much. Now, if we lived in a state where I’d have to keep attendance and turn in lesson plans and stuff, I’d have problems getting that organized! But I did that when I taught public school, so I’d work out something.

So, how do I stay focused and evaluate our success?

• Pray. Do Bible study as a family and teach your kids to do their own studies separately as soon as they are able. Even the littlest ones can have a Bible basket for quiet times. Pray for peace, balance, humility, patience, and contentment. Pray for direction and needs! Pray for your budget.
• Reread The Well-Trained Mind every year. At least hit the highlights to help you remember what you’re doing and why, especially if you have a child changing levels.
• Don’t attend a homeschool co-op if they take away from family and school time or your personal values. Do attend a co-op if they reinforce what you’re already doing. Don’t feel pressured. Do what’s right for your family and take a year off of co-op if necessary. Don’t feel guilty if that’s what you need to do. We do not attend a co-op.
• Guard yourself against naysayers. I know it’s hard if they are family members. Pray for grace and understanding and for their hearts to be open. This is your family and your decision or calling.
• Protect yourself against comparison. That homeschool blogger or family down the street, across town, at co-op, at convention, wherever…they’re not you. Their children are different from yours. Their marriage is different from yours. Their issues are different from yours. Their financial situation is different from yours. Their children learn differently from yours. And you don’t know the behind-the-scenes stuff. You don’t know their medical history, their debt problems, their therapy bills, or any of the highs and lows of their past and present. You only see what they allow you to see. Just be awesome you.
• Find a schedule that works for you. I know homeschoolers who school at night, on weekends, only 3 days a week, take Wednesdays off…whatever works for your family!
• Make a list. Keep to a budget. Ask your spouse to help make or guide decisions about curricula and activities.

Don’t be a hoarder or a collector. I am slowly purging all the workbooks, unit studies, manipulatives, and reference materials that I thought we’d someday use. My oldest is almost seventeen and my youngest is seven, but I realize now that less is more. If I haven’t used it by now, chances are we never will.

I had this fairy tale vision of Jane Austen governesses and girls in pastel dresses lying on the grass reading, reciting, and discussing. That dreamy Charlotte Mason model is just that – a dream. I could no more recreate that scene than I could stop a stampede of wild horses. My kids are themselves. They are individuals. They are rambunctious, precocious, sarcastic, and wonderful. I am raising them to be leaders, not mice. But I want them to be challenged just right. And that takes constant tweaking and evaluation to determine when to move on, when to skip something, or when to practice more.

I’m sure other teaching methods can be overwhelming, but I think classical homeschoolers want to do it all, learn it all, not miss anything. We often want to recreate that educational model of the past with its great rigors. I know I teach some subjects and topics very thoroughly because I didn’t learn it well in public school and I feel it’s of great value. And we can do all that – with balance and love – when the child is ready. There’s no need to push a three-year-old to read or a thirteen-year-old to write a research paper that’s university-worthy.

Work with your kids, not against them. They’re not the enemy. And we have all the time in the world.

For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. (Ephesians 6:12)

Allow God to lead you. Monitor your children’s frustration levels and behavior. Ask your husband for guidance, even if he isn’t involved in the homeschool. He still notices moods.

Do you also struggle with exasperating your children?

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When I began homeschooling almost thirteen years ago, it was solely for academic reasons. I’ve tried all sorts of methods and curricula over the years, and I’ve come full circle: back to the same academics.

Lots of curricula out there is faith-based, and we’ve gotten to the realization that most of it is dumbed down, biased, white-washed, Euro-centric…kind of the opposite of public school curricula with its absence of any religious doctrine, but still with bias. We use lots of book lists to study history and science. We want the truth, not some watered-down, evangelical, conservative view of the truth.

I have some different perspectives and priorities than other homeschoolers, for sure.

I have a bachelor’s degree in English literature (w o r t h l e s s). I have a master’s in education, specializing in teaching English grades 6-12. I earned an endorsement in gifted education and I was a school coordinator for the gifted program. Did you know “gifted” students fall under the special education umbrella? I was an educator in the public and private sector for almost ten years. I taught middle school, high school, and college. I had ESOL, gifted, advanced, and regular ed students. I taught literature, grammar, reading, and writing. I substitute taught, worked in after-school programs, and tutored students who scored low on standardized tests. I’ve worked as a private English tutor to high school students.

So, there’s that personal history. I was an “actual” teacher. I know the other side.

I hated the textbooks for their white-washed short stories, bland poetry, excerpts of novels, grammar drills, writing exercises, and busy work. I hated assigning homework and grades for meaningless assignments. I hated the politics of school.

Homeschool parents don’t have to have college degrees in education (or anything) to teach their children well.

I realize how daunting a task it can be to teach our own. Thank God my husband is a whiz in algebra, chemistry, and physics, because I’m not. But kids can and will learn on their own, despite us! Often, we should just get out of the way.

As a homeschool mom, I don’t recreate a school environment. I don’t waste time. I don’t give grades, tests, busy work, or projects. In our home, learning is a natural process, based on interests. We try not to suck all the joy out of it.

People think I know some stuff since I have a daughter finishing up her homeschool academics, taking the SAT, graduating, taking college courses, and taking off into the world.

I try really hard not to impose my beliefs on others. We have our reasons for homeschooling. We are staunch advocates for learning at home. We are anti-school. I don’t believe school is necessary at all. Home is base and everything else is just supplementary. I don’t even like co-ops or enrolling my kids in classes.

I realize many families homeschool their kids for different reasons, with different styles, sometimes temporarily or for just a season, and maybe one child attends school while another in the household stay home.  I may not understand some of this, but to each her own.

What I have to Say to a New Homeschooler:

You don’t need a script.

You don’t need to re-create school at home.

You don’t have to be driven by fear.

Don’t overdo it.

You don’t have to use Christian curricula. Or the same texts as a public or private school.

You can change your curricula anytime, for any reason.

You don’t even need a curriculum, actually.

You don’t need a DVD or online program.

You don’t need a chore chart.

You don’t have to join a co-op.

You don’t have to get up early and “do school” before lunch. You can learn anytime!

You don’t have to use schoolish words like “recess” or “class” or “seatwork.”

You don’t have to spend a lot of money.

You don’t need a classroom.

How We Homeschool

We don’t have a schedule.

We don’t do testing.

We don’t do grades.

We don’t participate in a co-op or many group activities at all.

Reading, writing, and discussion usually take about an hour each day. The rest of the time, the kids learn what and how they like.

We don’t worry about screen time.

We don’t use checklists, charts, agendas, calendars, etc.

We don’t use punishments or rewards systems of any kind.

We don’t overschedule our lives.

We stay home most of the time.

We have lots of free time to think, explore, read, play, cook, create, or do whatever we desire.

We’re more about the process than the outcome.

I respect my kids. I trust my kids.

Children can make their own decisions. They can teach themselves.

They know themselves best – their preferences, tastes, likes, and dislikes.

I’m a guide, a coach, a mentor.

It’s not my job to teach every lesson or provide everything for my kids. Most of my own learning happened after I became an adult. Learning is a lifetime activity.

I love to introduce my kids to new things – new foods, art, experiences, movies, books. If they love it, great. I try not to get my feelings hurt if they don’t care for something I love. Usually, my enthusiasm is enough to get them to at least try something new. It’s my role to introduce and I am proud I have enough knowledge and experience to give them so many choices and expose them to so many new things. I am constantly learning and researching and seeking new things to show them. I love it.

My Top 5 for Successful Homeschooling

1. Focus

   Many homeschool families have a central focus, and everything else revolves around that. For us, it’s the humanities. For some, it’s gymnastics or ice skating or math or science. Find your focus, and go after it.

2. Relationships

   Family relationships are the most important aspect of homeschooling. If you don’t set a stage for successful home relations, homeschooling will be miserable. Sure, there are times when someone is irritable or needs alone time, but we help each other, work well together, and respect each other. We enjoy being together, even the teens! Connection and relationship is the most important aspect of parenting and homeschooling.

3. Life Skills

   Everyone needs to learn the basics – basic finances, car maintenance, cooking, cleaning, clothes mending, appliance fixing, yard work, household management and maintenance. It’s super important. Team up with others to learn these if you don’t know it yourself!

4. Experiences

   Sure, you can learn lots from books or videos, but experiences are more memorable. We always try to find an experience to represent what we learn about – field trips, museums, road trips, travel, activities, hands-on.

5. Foundation

   Most of us realize the importance of a good academic foundation. The 3 R’s – Reading, wRiting, and aRithmetic. Also, a good moral foundation – religion, faith, social justice, or whatever personal concept is important to your family. Academics are actually secondary for us.

Our Favorite Homeschool Resources

THE LIBRARY! We go every week and gets lots and lots and lots of books on every subject that looks interesting!

ARTistic Pursuits and museums for art that we learn with history.

We create playlists on Spotify and learn about music with history.

• How we do History
• I Don’t Teach English
• How we do Math
• Foreign Language
• How we do Science

My parenting book list.

View my favorite books for parenting, marriage, and more.

How long have you been homeschooling?

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As I peruse social media, I always see lots of images and articles about school-related issues.

Since I homeschool our 4 kids and feel that school is not necessary at all, I thought about all the things we don’t have to do since the kids don’t attend school!

12 Things Homeschoolers Don’t Have to Do

1. Get up Early

   I am so, so, so happy we don’t have to get up early to catch a bus or make it to school on time. If my kids went to school, there would be three different drop-offs: elementary, middle school, and high school! I can’t imagine the logistics. We can sleep in and do whatever we want in the mornings rather than inhaling a non-nutritious Pop-Tart and rushing to a school to sit all day and be brainwashed.

2. Back to School

   I don’t have to worry about back to school lists. I can buy whatever supplies we need whenever we need them. We don’t have to buy uniforms or school clothes. While I do stock up on a few things during those BTS sales, like glue…we are not concerned with the stress of this time period. We school year-round. We can transition our curricula any time of year! We love to enjoy the end of summer and beginning of fall as natural transitions.

3. School Picture Day

   Ah, the dreaded school pictures. I can remember when they were simple and it was expected that kids wore their Sunday best. But, those laser backgrounds? Maybe not the best choice. And my hair in 7th grade? I shudder. Now, it seems the picture companies are really into profits and the purchase packages are unbelievable. Who needs a pricey 16×24 stretched canvas or body pillow of their kid?

4. Sit at a Desk all.day.long.

   We don’t sit around all day. I remember how exhausting it was to just sit all day long, under those fluorescent lights. We do what we want, when we want. We rush outside when it’s nice weather. We play games. We go to the library. We go hiking or on nature walks. We watch the birds. We garden. We read, watch Netflix, research. We have dance parties. We snuggle on the sofa for reading. We cook, clean, make arts and crafts. The girls love to knit and crochet and cross-stitch. We shoot a target in the backyard with a BB gun. We rarely sit at desks or tables. We don’t have to relinquish our creativity.

5. Fundraisers

   How I hated selling cookie dough and wrapping paper. How I hate it when kids come to my house, hawking stuff I don’t want or need. How I hate the contests for kids and classes for pizza parties or a skate night or tickets to the water park. Maybe we should have a better system or allocate money where it’s needed better? If the school fundraiser sold whiskey, then maybe I’d consider buying.

6. Teacher Appreciation Gifts

   I remember getting a few gifts when I taught school – the coffee mugs, stuffed animals, gift cards. Pinterest is full of creative and horrific teacher gifts. It’s obviously a competition to see who can outdo the other parents with the best or weirdest upcycled gift. Bribery much? Teachers just want more respect and fewer standardized tests. They really have a tough job. It’s a battle on all fronts.

7. Follow a Schedule

   So much time is wasted at school on transition time. Line up to go to lunch. Line up to go to art, music, PE, library, computer lab. Line up for restroom and water break. We have no schedule, or at the least, a very rough schedule. We get up when we want. We eat when we’re hungry. We use the bathroom when the need arises. We go outside when we want. We play, read, create when we desire. Downtime is thinking time. We follow natural rhythms.

8. Homework

   Homework is unnecessary. We complete lessons in only a few minutes. We don’t have to beat the dead horse with 40+ math problems unless they think math drills are fun. We don’t have to circle verbs in red and underline adjectives in blue in 20+ sentences ever. School kids attend classes 6+ hours every day and still have several hours of worthless homework? It’s ridiculous. We don’t do worksheets or extra work. We learn to mastery. We don’t even have to follow a curriculum! We can learn how we want!

9. Grades

   We don’t do grades. We don’t do tests. We don’t encourage that kind of competition. It’s meaningless and creates such discontent. No one has ever asked me as an adult what I made in 11th grade algebra II or senior English or 3rd year Spanish. No one cares about my master’s Faulkner course. Extrinsic motivation doesn’t teach anything or ensure success. We learn for the sheer love of it.

10. So Much Sickness

    A friend of mine had to send her special needs son to school because it’s German law. She complained that in the first month, he came home with diarrhea, Fifth’s disease, a cold, and more. He’d never been sick before. Schools are little breeding grounds for illness. Ew. I know teachers and students get sick so frequently, especially after summer and winter breaks. It’s not that we never get sick, but we seldom do. The kids play in the dirt, eat well, get plenty of rest, and have healthy immune systems.

11. Keeping up with Fads

    My kids don’t even know what’s popular except when their public schoolteacher aunt asks if they’re into Rainbow Loom or something that her public-schooled children and students are into. My kids don’t care about popularity, fashion, fads, or anything like that. We’re not exposed to advertisements or competition with other kids.

12. Rules

    My kids know how to stand in line. If they’re ever in a classroom environment, they know to raise their hand before speaking. They are polite and courteous. They don’t need arbitrary rules to control them, to make them behave or obey. We’ve encountered some strange rules at different organizations we’ve attended for music lessons or field trips. While I understand there is sometimes a need to protect others and property, it’s disheartening to see my homeschooled kids treated like criminals. Automatically guilty. Children are naturally empathetic and desire to please. Too many rules are just a setup rebellion.

We appreciate the freedoms that homeschooling offers our family!

We homeschool so we can have freedoms that schools stifle.

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