Jennifer Lambert

A Sacred Balance

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How Does My Garden Grow?

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We’ve lived in this house for about five years now, purchased it two years ago after we realized we were staying and my husband retiring from the Air Force here.

I feel like it’s finally starting to feel like home.

The kids love to help me in the garden and enjoy the veggies and herbs we grow. We all love bird watching and seeing the wildlife in our backyard woods.

We’ve always rented and it’s so nice to finally have a place to call home and the kids can start to grow some roots figuratively and literally. We have no family and few friends and always feel like outsiders since we’ve moved around so frequently.

It took me over a year to get the front yard weed-free. We had so much crabgrass from all the years of neglect. Neighbors who have lived on this street for decades have stopped to compliment my hard work, that it’s never looked better.

It’s a stress reliever for me to work in my yard and garden. I love cutting the grass and digging in the dirt, weeding, all of it.

I’ve had the herb garden since our first year here. The oregano, chives, and sage does come back every year. I can’t seem to get hardy rosemary and my thyme didn’t come back this year, so I had to replace it. I buy parsley and basil every year. I keep fighting cilantro which does ok until I harvest some, then it seems to get mad and wilt or go to seed.

I have strawberries, some lettuces, and a rogue green bean! I transplanted my Russian sage and a trumpet vine on the other side of the fence.

I love gnomes, mushrooms, and frogs. I have lots of fun little statues around the garden.

My spiderwort is very happy this year! I also have a huge hellebore. I got some free Heucheras that are doing great. My lavender is coming back from winter. The irises and gladiolas won’t bloom, so I think they need more direct sunshine, so I will have to find another place for them. In early spring, we have lots of daffodils and hyacinths.

I have a small sun-loving garden in front of our wood pile, at the end of the driveway.

I got this lovely forsythia free from a Buy Nothing group. I bought two purple azaleas and transplanted some grape hyacinths from the yard. There’s also some forget-me-nots in there from seed that I hope aren’t choked out! It was so pretty when it bloomed.

I have two rose trees that were just given to me and I really hope they make it, but their roots were chopped pretty bad, so we will see.

I have three kinds of mint in a half barrel pot so it doesn’t take over. I have prolific lemon balm growing, so I may have to put that in another pot or thin it out.

I love, love, love roses and I wish I had a larger space for a magnificent rose garden.

I’ve had roses at every house I’ve lived in and it’s always sad to move and leave them. I hope they’re being loved and cared for by whoever lives in those homes now.

There was one rose already here when we moved in. I have acquired the others from our local Buy Nothing group and I’ve purchased two – a Blue Girl and Elizabeth. I also have lavender, mini irises, and a peony that has been transplanted for the third time and looks like it might finally be happy to bloom!

I also just ordered some allium that I think will look lovely poking up around the roses. They also are supposed to ward off pests.

I just read that white geraniums ward off Japanese beetles, so we will see if these work!

Here’s my first rose bloom this year – Blue Girl!

The backyard is a lot brighter after we had the walnut trees removed. We tilled the soil and fertilized it well. This is our second year with a nice little vegetable garden. We had a truckload of topsoil and compost delivered last month and that really helped!

I love the raised beds my husband made out of pallets. We have carrots, beets, radishes, bok choy, leeks, green onions, sweet onions. We have several kinds of sweet and hot peppers.

We have peas, potatoes, tomatoes, yellow squash, zucchini, eggplant, cucumbers, raspberries.

I plan to get in green beans and sweet potatoes this weekend.

In the far right corner, I am slowly building up a shade garden with more hostas, astilbe, bleeding hearts, lily of the valley, Solomon’s seal, and a little lacy Japanese maple.

The hostas were almost all here when we moved in. I have divided them and acquired more from our local Buy Nothing group.

This is the edge of our backyard fenceline and I love the birdbath from Lowe’s and plan to get a 4×4 to make a more permanent bird feeder.

I have a jungle on my deck. I bring all my houseplants outside for the summer and they love it!

I love annuals in pots that attract hummingbirds and also help to keep mosquitoes and wasps away.

Lots of houseplants were given to me from our Buy Nothing group. I also scout the clearance corners at Home Depot, Lowe’s, and Walmart.

The clearance section also a great way to get very cheap orchids and tropicals!

These two plants were crammed into one container and very unhappy and I think it was only $7 or $8. I separated them and they seem more cheerful alone.

My bathroom windowsill is full of orchids! I can never have too many. Many people don’t want them after the blooms fall off. Maybe they’re not interested in waiting for more blooms or think orchids are difficult to maintain. I don’t know. But I love them!

I’ve always loved geraniums on the front porch. I bring my big geraniums inside for the winter, and they’re happy under the dining room window, so these are about four years old!

So, the landlady replaced the front door and sidelights all of a sudden with no notice while my husband was deployed. She wanted me to paint it, inside and out but I refused. After she berated the poor contractors from Lowe’s who didn’t have the holes drilled for a deadbolt, she painted it herself, white. I didn’t think there was anything wrong with the old door, which was red, like the frame surround. I would have never chosen this plain door with plain windows! Now that we’ve bought the house, I plan to get a beautiful front door and sidelights someday.

We have a magnolia and redbud tree that the kids enjoy when they bloom.

I toy with removing the boxwoods and barberry from the front of the house, but they’re quite large and I worry it would be a huge job and mess up all the other plants. I think it’s odd that the boxwoods do great on one side and always look burnt and yellowed on the other side. I don’t think they get enough sun. I’m not sure what to replace them with, and I can’t afford replacement plants that large, so it would look silly with tiny plants.

We have a hedge of lovely lilacs in front of our garage.

I’m so, so proud of our little pollinator garden.

Coneflowers were already here and I have added hyssop, bee balm, salvia, milkweed, SO MUCH YARROW, dill, fennel, a passion vine, cardinalis, foxglove, black eyed susans.

I love how all the plants are getting established and seem happy.

I enjoy working in my yard and garden and I’m constantly moving and evaluating and adding. I can never just sit and not think about how I could change or update some part of it. I love how it’s growing every year!

How does your garden grow?

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Foodie Gift Guide

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My family and I love to cook and eat and cool gadgets often make our lives easier. Here are some fun gifts for people who love spending time in the kitchen or around the dining table.

We have certain kitchen essentials and have/had some fun cooking tools for our kids when they were little.

We don’t really care for many unitaskers or any multicookers. I actually enjoy cooking and my counters are already cluttered enough. I want good quality tools that are functional and beautiful that will last a long time.

We love good food and good wine. Dinner each evening is a feast.

Gift Guide for Foodies

Pepper Mill

I love this pepper mill because it’s easy to turn and refill. It gives lovely coarse grinds.

Whipped Cream Dispenser

We love, love, love this whipped cream dispenser, especially during holiday dessert season! I love making my own whipped cream with natural ingredients and flavors.

Kitchen Torch

I never thought I would like, use, or need a torch in the kitchen, but it comes in handy for more than just  crème brûlée!

Electric Milk Frother

I have a microwave frother but I also love my electric frother. We can use the flavored Silk almond creams or regular whole milk, cream, or half and half.

Dehydrator

It comes in handy to dehydrate foods when we garden and can’t eat everything right away. Also fun to make homemade fruit rollups or gummy snacks from fresh fruit! Loads of uses.

Food Sealer

We like our Food Saver, but we may get this Zwilling system. We like to marinate meats with no spilling. I often separate bulk buys into servings for our deep freezer. I need to remember to label everything!

Wine Opener

There are some fancy and expensive wine openers out there, but this is still my favorite! The electric ones worry me and my husband loves his waiter’s corkscrew from Laguiole from our last trip to Paris. This is easy to use and doesn’t hurt my hands or break the corks.

Wine aerator

We like aerating our red wines and the more complex white wines either direct into glasses or into a decanter for better and fuller flavor.

Decanter

We love our glass decanters to air our red wines and make pouring without spilling easier. And they’re pretty on the table!

Vacuum sealer

We don’t often have leftover wine or soda, but these vacuum pump sealers work wonders to save bottles. They can then last up to a week!

Wine Rack

We have a simple wine rack in our basement where the temperature is always cool.

Wine Books

These books are great for learning about how to pair wine with food or discovering what you love!

Also, fun cookbooks are great gifts!

Specialty Glassware

I bought an engraved whisky glass for my husband last year and he loves it!

Fun wine glasses with cute sayings or insulated/unbreakable cups for picnics or backyard entertaining are popular.

Food gifts or subscriptions

I am always excited to receive a bottle of whisky or wine.

Cheese or salami is always welcome!

I love gourmet chocolate with fancy unique ingredients. My favorite is saffron!

One year, my husband game me an olive oil of the month subscription.

We’re excited to see fun food Advent calendars in our local grocery stores – cheese, wine, beer. These make great gifts or fun to try new flavors.

Wine

Firstleaf wine gifts are versatile and they can customize which wines they prefer – sweet or dry, sparkling, white, rosé, or red.

My husband and I gave ourselves a Firstleaf subscription last year. It’s been a fun adventure!

Seafood

KnowSeafood gifts or subscription for the seafood lovers! We live in Dayton, Ohio, and finding good affordable fresh seafood is difficult. We love, love, love the selection and quality at KnowSeafood!

What’s your favorite foodie find?

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Making a House a Home

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We bought a house!

The dream of a house can be the eternally postponed preliminary step to taking up the lives we wish we were living…If you lived in your heart, you’d be home right now.

Rebecca Solnit

We’ve rented this house for almost three years. I’m tired of paying high rent when we could be earning equity.

Aaron has about a year and a half until retirement from the Air Force.

We’re settling down in Dayton, Ohio.

Having always rented a house made us feel like we never had a home. We often wanted to do updates or improvements, but we didn’t want to sink a lot of money into a rental and landlords are often weird.

Home is another word for the Spirit that we are, our True Self in God.

Richard Rohr, Falling Upward

My husband and I have lived together in five houses:

  1. My little 3 BR that I bought and sold within a year in the town where I grew up. It doesn’t even count because we had just met, married, and he was going away for a year, but then we moved.
  2. The tiny hot ranch we rented in Texas where I had my two middle girls
  3. The handicapped accessible Hawaii house on Hickam AFB that the kids still call home
  4. The huge ramshackle rental behind the Mormon curtain in Salt Lake City, with our big vegetable garden
  5. The German house over the Getränke shop in a little village

Now, our Ohio suburban with a creek in the backyard. 

When we moved in, our son asked us if this was our forever home. He was tired of moving. We all were and are. We didn’t know then that we would be able to purchase this house and stay here.

The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.

Maya Angelou, All God’s Children Need Traveling Shoes

I lived in the same house for my first sixteen years. We moved to another house until I moved out. My parents now live in a house that will never be my home. I have no memories there.

My husband grew up in the same town – in two houses – where he lived all his youth and young adult life. His sisters still live there. His middle sister still lives in the house where they all grew up.

It’s hard looking back at all the houses I’ve lived in, all the houses our family has lived in during our military moves. I often get confused when I am sleepy or sick, my memories getting befuddled in all the hallways and rooms in my mind.

Home is that youthful region where a child is the only real living inhabitant. Parents, siblings, and neighbors, are mysterious apparitions, who come, go, and do strange unfathomable things in and around the child, the region’s only enfranchised citizen.

Maya Angelou, Letter to My Daughter

I can finally throw out all the boxes I’ve saved over the years since we had to pack some items in their original boxes for the movers to ship them, like our flat screen TV.

I love getting rid of the clutter! I don’t have to save anything “just in case” we might need it at our next destination.

I only have to keep things I find beautiful, special, nostalgic.

I can paint walls, update the garden, remove and replace fixtures. I can do anything I want!

At a crossroad, a kind soul asked aloud,

“Which way shall I turn? Which way is best?”

Quietly the Universe responded,

“Go until it feels like home.”

Adrian Michael

How I’m Decorating Our First Home

Entry Way

We usually enter our home through the garage.

We have some hooks for bags, hats, and jackets.

We can go straight through another door to the backyard. I have a shoe rack there blocking the seldom used door and I don’t like it, but it’s what it is for now.

We have a large pantry where we store seldom used and bulky kitchen appliances.

The coolest thing is there is a laundry chute from my closet to that pantry and I can scoot the clothes into the laundry room!

Laundry Room

I love having a large laundry room with lots of storage.

I have room for my chest freezer at the end of the counter. We store our baking molds, raclette, fondue, ice cream maker, and slicer on the shelf above the counter.

We often use it as a mud room since it’s right by the doors to the backyard and garage.

I have a huge pantry on the right and a big sink.

There are wire shelves over the washer and dryer and I would like to replace those with cabinets and solid shelves.

We may replace the tile floor. It seems like it needs regrouting or something.

Kitchen

All the flooring on our main level was updated with Pergo wood grain and it’s nice.

The cabinets were painted a weird textured grey and we plan to update those by painting the lower cabinets black and upper cabinets white. It should brighten the room immensely.

I love the granite countertops.

The stainless GE appliances are the best I’ve ever had.

On the right side is our fridge and coffee nook with the pantry we redid when we first moved in.

Breakfast Nook

I love my bay windows and mini jungle in our breakfast nook.

I scored this table and chairs in Utah over ten years ago- at two different yard sales – for a total of $30!

I loathe the little chandelier and will replace it soon with something less ostentatious.

Dining Room

The china cabinet and dishes belonged to Aaron’s grandma.

We all eat dinner together here almost every evening.

Fridays, we have homemade pizza in the basement with a movie on our TV.

Powder Bathroom

Could you believe we lived here almost three years and suffered with these light fixtures being upside down? And I would hit my head when I washed my hands!

We plan to get a better mirror, repaint, and maybe wallpaper an accent wall, buy a small cabinet vanity in place of the tiny pedestal sink and perhaps a shelf or cabinet over the commode. New rugs too.

Living Room

We have six people in our family, so all the cutesy seating arrangements for four I see on design sites aren’t right for us.

I bought a new sofa and loveseat last year. I love the sleek design. I chose the La-Z-Boy Dixie Sofa and Loveseat in Mocha.

The pink gooseneck rocker belonged to my grandma. My parents bought me the Harbor Town recliner last year.

I’m getting a new rug soon. I already have the smaller one by our sliding door to the deck and a runner and little rug at the front door.

It looks a little crowded, but it’s working for now.

Hearth

I love having a brick hearth and mantel.

We have shells from our travels and some fun collected items. I love candles and lanterns.

Reading Nook

We have this weird landing at the top of the stairs that seems like wasted space to me.

Other homes with our similar floor plan have four bedrooms upstairs, but we have only three. Our middle girls have always shared a bedroom.

Thanks to everyone who helped me create this space!

Aaron’s grandma’s chair with the kids’ bookshelf.

Photos of our parents and grandparents watch over the kids.

I plan to get some tall houseplants since it’s pretty bright from our foyer windows.

I just added a floor lamp too.

Bedroom

We have a tall vaulted ceiling that I have no real ideas what to do with. Maybe a center beam?

We plan to paint the walls a pale grey and perhaps get some crown molding.

I ordered some navy and beige paneled drapes to match our new bedding (from Target).

We finally got a new mattress set – after twenty years!

I’m still in love with my bedroom furniture and I couldn’t find any better. No need to update it when it works great.

Not in love with my crooked wedding pics over the bed. We have so much wall space and I have few ideas.

Kids’ Rooms

My middle girls share a room with bunk beds with one window overlooking the backyard. They hate it, but it’s the way it is. They share the hall bathroom that has two sinks.

My son has the other upstairs bedroom with two front windows and ceiling fan. We gave him that room because they bunks wouldn’t fit any which way and the fan would have been dangerous for the top bunk. He uses my bathroom but we may have to reevaluate this soon.

Basement

We love having a finished basement.

I like having the TV and video games tucked out of sight.

I have the kids’ white erase boards on one wall. I have the three kids’ desks where we do any formal homeschool lessons, mostly math. My home office is upstairs with all my bookcases is in a room opposite our dining room.

We bought a used elliptical very cheaply from an older couple moving away and it’s awesome.

Our sectional sofa is still holding up ok after 10+ years.

There is a wet bar that I want to update with a new updated counter, faucet, and hopefully a narrow refrigerator in place of the pantry or a short beverage cooler in place of a cabinet.

My eldest daughter, almost twenty, has a bedroom and bathroom to herself in the basement but no windows.

Garden

We have a large front yard. We’re tackling the clover and weeds and trying to grow grass in the bald spots.

We have a little garden beside the garage where we get the most sunshine. We have peas, spinach, lettuce, green beans, cucumber, yellow squash, radishes, and carrots.

Our back yard slopes down to a lovely creek. It’s very shady.

We’re updating slowly as we can afford it.

We added pretty stepping stones and pine wood chips to a muddy area.

I plan to turn the sand pit into a Japanese shade garden.

We plan to sand, repair, and repaint the deck in brown or gray floor with white railings.

There is a firepit surrounded by too large gravel. I want to place some flat stones around it for a seating area.

Hostas are poking through the wood chips on either side. We need a new fence and I think I will prefer a picket instead of rail and wire.

Four walnut trees are coming down next month. You can see two on the right. The walnuts fall on our deck and it’s dangerous!

It’s really quite scary knowing we are responsible for all the maintenance on this home.

We know we need new siding and deck repairs. Most of the inside is in fantastic shape and we just want to make some updates.

We got a 30-year VA loan and I wonder if it will ever get paid off.

Elemental Blessing For A New Home

Before a human voice was ever heard here,
This place has known the respect of stone,
The friendship of the wind, always returning
With news of elsewhere, whispered in seed and pollen,
The thin symphonies of birdsong softening the silence,
The litanies of rain rearranging the air,
Cascades of sunlight opening and closing days,
And the glow of the moon gazing through darkness.
May all that elemental enrichment
Bless the foundation and standing of your home.
Before you came here, this place has known
The wonder of children’s eyes,
The hope of mornings in troubled hearts,
The tranquillity of twilight easing the night,
The drama of dreams under sleeping eyelids,
The generous disturbance of birth,
The anxieties of old age unclenching into grace
And the final elegance of calmly embraced death.
May the life of your new home enter
Into this inheritance of spirit.
May the rain fall kindly,
May daylight illuminate your hearts,
May the darkness never burden,
May those who dwell here in the unseen
Watch over your coming and going,
May your lives of love and promise
Refine and deepen the mind of this land.

John O’Donohue, To Bless the Space Between Us

For a New Home

May this house shelter your life.
When you come in home here,
May all the weight of the world
Fall from your shoulders.
May your heart be tranquil here,
Blessed by peace the world cannot give.
May this home be a lucky place,
Where the graces your life desires
Always find the pathway to your door.
May nothing destructive
Ever cross your threshold.
May this be a safe place
Full of understanding and acceptance,
Where you can be as you are,
Without the need of any mask
Of pretense or image.
May this home be a place of discovery,
Where the possibilities that sleep
In the clay of your soul can emerge
To deepen and refine your vision
For all that is yet to come to birth.
May it be a house of courage,
Where healing and growth are loved,
Where dignity and forgiveness prevail;
A home where patience of spirit is prized,
And the sight of the destination is never lost
Though the journey be difficult and slow.
May there be great delight around this hearth.
May it be a house of welcome
For the broken and diminished.
May you have the eyes to see
That no visitor arrives without a gift
And no guest leaves without a blessing.

John O’Donohue, To Bless the Space Between Us
We removed the bottom hooks! We are HOME.

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What makes your house a home?

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How to Be a Good Homeowner

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Whether you think you’re currently living in a transition house or your forever home, there are things you should do to take care of your property on a regular basis, to ensure that you’re being a good homeowner.

After all, if you did ever decide you wanted to sell, it’s easier to do when your house has been well cared for, rather than being allowed to get a little run down and tired. But beyond the salability of your house, your family’s safety and comfort are even more important. 

Monthly and seasonal upkeep and maintenance routines

There are a few things that you should do on a regular basis, as part of your home care routine. Some are essential to the safety of your home and family and others are just a good idea to ensure that you get maximum enjoyment out of your home.

  • Check filters and vents throughout your home. This includes:
    • Cleaning / replacing your furnace filter / checking the AC filter for debris; 
    • Making sure the dryer exhaust is clear and reminding everyone who does laundry to clean the in-machine filter every time they use it; 
    • Checking your kitchen and bathroom exhaust vent / filters to make sure they are clean and in good working order; 
    • Vacuum dust from air vents throughout your house to avoid breathing in dust when air is circulated;
    • Check other external air vents, beyond the dryer, to make sure they are clear of debris, snow or other blockages.
  • Clean the garbage disposal by running it with something as simple as ice, and then flushing it with hot water and baking soda, to give it a thorough going over.
  • Check drains and faucets. 
    • Showerheads and faucets can get clogged up with mineral deposits, depending on how hard your water is, so keeping them clean will keep them running smoothly;
    • Check drains in showers, sinks and tubs for blockages: a hunk of hair can do a lot of damage if it’s not dealt with! If you’ve got a jet tub in the bathroom, make sure all the jets are clean and working properly.
  • Keep up the pool. When in use—and depending where you live, that can be year round or just a few months in the summer—make sure that all the systems for your pool and/or spa are working correctly, including filters, heaters and so on. Regular maintenance of these will save you a lot in the long run.

On a seasonal basis, you should also:

  • Check your alarms. Smoke alarms and carbon monoxide detectors should be checked and batteries replaced; and double check the location of your fire extinguishers. You should also check all electrical cords at this time to ensure they aren’t fraying, which can be a major fire hazard.
  • Do a closet change over. Move fall and winter clothes out into storage closets or boxes and bring spring / summer clothes into your everyday use closets and vice versa. There’s no need for mittens to be handy in July!
  • Deal with your lawn care seasonally as well: 
    • In fall, you need to prepare your garden to settle down for the winter; you should also make sure that your gardening equipment is cleaned and stored, hoses are drained and water is shut off to the exterior.
    • In spring, you need to help it back to life by raking up leaves and debris, aerating your lawn and getting the planting beds ready for another season.
  • Check the pool. If you have a swimming pool, spa or both, make sure that you are doing what’s necessary to open and close them diligently. Repairs are a lot more costly than just making sure everything is in good repair along the way.
  • Service all appliances. Have your furnace and AC checked and serviced seasonally, as well as fireplaces; make sure to have your wood fire chimney swept before you put it to good use and avoid a chimney fire. If you use window units for AC, make sure they’re clean, to avoid spraying dust and debris when you turn them on.
  • Check gutters and downspouts. Keeping water flowing away from the foundation of your house, whether in a spring storm or days of autumn showers is essential for a safe, dry basement. Make sure your gutters are clean and free of debris and check downspout positioning.

Annual upkeep and maintenance routines

  • Keep out drafts. Checking and fixing/replacing caulking and weather stripping around windows and doors can go a long way to keeping out drafts and avoiding losing all your heat or air conditioned air—with costs that go with it—to the outdoors!
  • Keep water out. If you live in an area that sees flooding, make sure your sump pump is in good working order and if you don’t already have one, get a battery back up for it! Just fill it with water to test that the sump runs and then go outside to make sure it’s draining. A power outage is all it takes to go from a bad storm to a flooded basement! Check foundation seams as well, to make sure you aren’t on your way to a leak.
  • Look over appliances. While the furnace and AC probably get regular maintenance, how often do you inspect / clean the refrigerator coils or check the drainage hose from your dishwasher or clothes washer? A regular inspection and cleaning of all your appliances can keep them in good working order for longer.
  • Check the roof. What you’re looking for is tiles that are peeling or lifting up, which can let water, snow and ice leak into your home, causing a lot of damage to the interior. This is also a good time to check the siding or brick work on your home, to make sure that it is all in good repair.
  • Mend the drive. If you have a driveway, fix cracks or have it resealed to ensure that it remains in good repair over the long term.
  • Check the deck. Wooden decks, stairs and railings can rot over time so a regular inspection to make sure that they aren’t loose or coming loose is a good idea, for everyone’s safety.
  • Deal with interior organizational projects. If you’ve always been meaning to clean out and reorganize the garage, your basement or all the closets in the house, it’s a good idea to take a look at these projects on at least an annual basis. Otherwise, it can get a little overwhelming to dig into and you might never do it! Having a home for all of your stuff is essential to keeping it tidy and clean, making it a comfortable living space for everyone.

Every few years upkeep and maintenance routines

  • Water heater. It’s worth making sure your water heater is in good order, particularly if you own it versus renting. The last thing you need is a rusted out heater base to give way! You should also check the pressure valve to make sure it’s operating as it is supposed to.
  • Attic insulation. Take a peek up in the attic to make sure that your insulation is in good shape, hasn’t been disturbed or otherwise lost its loft. You may need to add some every 5 years or so, depending on the quality and type of insulation.

Over the longer term

Life expectancies for various appliances and fixtures of your home vary, depending on the whether patterns you experience but as a rule, you should be thinking about budgeting to  replace the following items over time:

  • Roofs – every 25-30 years for asphalt shingles
  • Windows – every 10-12 years for vinyl encased windows
  • External doors – every 15-17 years
  • Siding – 30-40 years
  • Eaves / Soffit – 30-40 years
  • Garage doors – 10-15 years
  • Water heater – 8-10 years
  • Sump pump – 4-6 years
  • Furnace – 18-20 years
  • AC – 15-20 years

It might seem like an overwhelming list, but a lot of it is just a matter of habit. A little upkeep and maintenance will help your home look good and take care of you longer, avoiding costly repair bills and allowing you to budget for big replacements when they might be needed.

Source: Marty Basher is the improvement and organization expert with Modular Closets, https://www.modularclosets.com. Marty regularly contributes on topics of DIY renovations, home design, organization, improvement and more, helping homeowners get the most out of the spaces in their home. Modular Closets are high-quality and easy-to-design closet systems made in the USA you can order, assemble and install yourself, in no time at all. Using closet modules (closet pieces you can mix & match to design your own modular closet), homeowners everywhere are empowered to achieve a true custom closet look- for nearly 40% less than standard custom closets. 

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Creative Leftovers

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As the kids get bigger and older, we don’t often have as many leftovers as we used to have, but occasionally, there is a serving or two left that gets shoved to the back of the fridge shelf.

I try to do a fridge cleanout a couple times a week for lunches and maybe a dinner if there’s a lot.

Using up leftovers is a necessity for a frugal waste-free lifestyle.

Having a good pantry and freezer system is key to using up leftovers. I have to plan to have certain items to make this successful and tasty.

I keep chicken and beef stock in the freezer and have some boxes of storebought organic stock in the pantry.

I have a huge assortment of spices and sauces.

I stock up on canned beans when they’re on sale. I just don’t have the freezer room to batch them from dried. Bags of frozen veggies when they go on sale for $1 or less.

We can our own marinara sauce.

I occasionally buy rotisserie chickens if I have a coupon or they’re on a really great sale. They’re awesome to use in many different recipes and I make stock from the bones.

I try to keep potatoes and onions on hand at all times. Also fresh carrots and celery.

These are our favorite ways to use up leftovers creatively:

Soup

I love making soups with various leftovers. This is a great way to clean out the fridge after a busy week!

Creamed vegetable is a favorite at our house to use up old veggies in the drawer.

I can always make soup with leftover chicken like this lovely lemony dill chicken soup.

Vegetable soup is my go-to to throw everything together, especially with leftover beef. I like to add beans and noodles to make it like minestrone.

Beans, lentils, or split peas are great in soup with a ham bone or smoked turkey.

Leftover ham is great for soup like ham and bean soup.

We like to make stock from turkey, chicken, and beef bones. Nothing goes to waste!

Split pea soup with leftover ham and poultry stock is a winner.

Casseroles

Noodles and rice with a cheesy sauce and leftover meat with some veggies makes a great casserole.

Turkey Divan is a great way to use up poultry leftovers.

Pot pie is another favorite with gravy, meat, and vegetables. Refrigerated or frozen dough, or drop herb biscuits on top make it quick and easy!

Salad

Leftover grilled meats and all sorts of veggies can be served cold over lettuce greens. I sometimes sneak a bit of bacon to save for later in a salad. This is a great lunch idea.

See our favorite salads.

Remix

I love making fried rice for my family. It’s a simple, frugal, easy way to use up leftovers. I often make extra rice just to have leftover for this meal.

My girls like ramen, and I love making it healthier with an egg, leftover meats and veggies, and homemade teriyaki sauce.

Stuffing canned biscuits or crescent rolls with cheese and chopped meats is a fun instant snack or lunch.

What’s your favorite way to use up leftovers?

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Organizing Recipes

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We have a lot of cookbooks.

I have a bin full of handwritten recipes from my husband’s two grandmothers. I plan to scan those in to my computer so they’re never lost. I’m working to organize them in page protectors or even a printed scrapbook cookbook.

All recipes tell a story.

I have two BHG cookbooks. My mom’s with handwritten notes and a newer one. I prefer my mom’s where she jotted down when I made wheat bread for a colonial class project. She also added the years she made which Christmas cookies or cakes.

We also collect a lot of recipes – from magazines and online sites.

How to Organize Recipes

Recipe Binders

Super easy to make a recipe binder and fun for gifts for the cook or foodie.

I have started compiling recipe binders for my kids as keepsakes of our favorite family recipes for them.

What you need for a recipe binder:

  • Big 3 ring binder or several small binders for various cooking styles (desserts, main dishes, grilling, baking)
  • Pretty cover for binder
  • Dividers
  • Clear page protectors
  • Clear small pockets for small recipe cards and/or recipes clipped from magazines

Cooking Journals

I have a couple recipe journals to make notes when I try new recipes.

I seldom follow a recipe exactly, and it’s a huge joke with my kids that no recipe is perfect for me. I always want more of something, add a little of this or that, or don’t measure.

My grandmother never measured anything.

We measure garlic with our hearts.

My husband is often irritated that I don’t make the same dish twice because I often don’t measure or follow the recipe the same way or I don’t remember how I tweaked it last time and everyone loved it. I’m trying to remember to make notes in the journal!

Computer and/or Software

Apps

Many cooks prefer to declutter and have recipes digitized.

This makes recipes searchable by several criteria, saving time and space. You can easily pull up a recipe on a tablet or laptop on the counter or table while you cook.

Pinterest

I have pin boards for lots of our family interests, and several for various cooking genres.

This helps me to find the recipes easily again and also share my faves with you!

Organizing recipes is a huge task to undertake, but I may digitize most of our recipes this summer to clear up space and get them all in one place.

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A Mother’s Résumé

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I haven’t worked at a “real job” for at least a dozen years.

It’s frustrating that introductory small talk still focuses on “What do you do?” and is disdainful or even scornful of motherhood as a vocation. People even dare ask or mention that my education was a waste. It’s like my only worth is in a salary or job for pay outside my home.

These microaggressions don’t endear me to people whom I’ve just met. They dismiss me as unimportant because I don’t have a salary and it’s so frustrating.

Motherhood isn’t valued in American culture. Homeschooling is still considered weird.

There’s little purpose to keeping up my LinkedIn profile.

I can’t imagine going back to teach at any school, at any level. I sometimes miss the classroom, but the hassles and negatives don’t outweigh the few positives. I don’t have current state certification and I don’t have any desire to jump through hoops to recertify.

If you hired someone to do the work of maintaining a household, especially if you have children, the cost would be approximately $ 90,000 a year. This is what a “traditional” at-home spouse would get paid today to clean the house, be a personal shopper and personal assistant, run errands, and take care of the children.

Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by John Gottman, Ph.D., Julie Schwartz Gottman Ph.D., Doug Abrams,  Rachel Carlton Abrams M.D.,

Things You Didn’t Put on Your Résumé

How often you got up in the middle of the night
when one of your children had a bad dream,

and sometimes you woke because you thought
you heard a cry but they were all sleeping,

so you stood in the moonlight just listening
to their breathing, and you didn’t mention

that you were an expert at putting toothpaste
on tiny toothbrushes and bending down to wiggle

the toothbrush ten times on each tooth while
you sang the words to songs from Annie, and

who would suspect that you know the fingerings
to the songs in the first four books of the Suzuki

Violin Method and that you can do the voices
of Pooh and Piglet especially well, though

your absolute favorite thing to read out loud is
Bedtime for Frances and that you picked

up your way of reading it from Glynis Johns,
and it is, now that you think of it, rather impressive

that you read all of Narnia and all of the Ring Trilogy
(and others too many to mention here) to them

before they went to bed and on the way out to
Yellowstone, which is another thing you don’t put

on the résumé: how you took them to the ocean
and the mountains and brought them safely home.

~Joyce Sutphen

As a mother for the past 19 years, I can attest to having quite an impressive work history and specific skill set.

The mental workload of being a mother far outweighs any “job” I’ve ever had.

As a teacher in various school and classroom environments, then as a homeschool educator for the last 15 years, I honed my expertise by focusing on my students’ unique needs.

As a military spouse, I retained my skills and honed a lot of new ones over the last decade and a half.

There are no gaps in my work history. I worked constantly, year-round, daily, overnights, with no vacation days, through sickness and injury, and during two deployments with no assistance or support.

Experience

Director of Child Development

$39,744 average annual salary

  • Oversee social, academic, and emotional development of students from birth until adulthood
  • Develop educational programs and standards
  • Design program plans, oversee daily activities, and prepare budget for activities and curriculum
  • Support gross and fine motor skills
  • Maintain instructional excellence

Educational Leadership

$88,390 average annual salary

  • Knowledge of pedagogy and methodology
  • Relationship building
  • Continuing education in field regarding trends, concerns, issues
  • Global mindset
  • Plan cross-curricular lessons for various ages, abilities, interests
  • Conflict resolution
  • Extensive library
  • Use of technology
  • Personalize feedback on student assignments
  • Advise students regarding academic courses and career opportunities
  • Encourage students to present their views and participate in discussion
  • Share personal experiences and values
  • Record keeping

Project Management

$134,182 average annual salary

  • Initiating, planning, executing, controlling, and closing the work of a team to achieve specific goals and meet specific success criteria at the specified time.
  • Establish expectations
  • Be proactive
  • Organization
  • Risk management
  • Delegation
  • Teamwork
  • Growth Mindset

Life Coach

$46,678 average annual salary

  • Discuss needs and goals
  • Develop strategies and plans
  • Keep records of progress
  • Evaluation
  • Adjust goal strategies as needed
  • Assist manage stress and increase productivity
  • Excellent listening and questioning skills
  • Confidence to challenge in a caring way
  • Support goal-setting, personal growth, and behavior modification 

Domestic Engineer

$59,496 average annual salary

  • Oversee operations of all systems and procedures
  • Budget for and allocated appropriate expenditures
  • Delegate operational tasks to promote equal labor division
  • Maintain cleanliness and sanitation of all work, play, and living areas
  • Food purchasing, preparation, and storage
  • Multi-tasking
  • Home economics
  • Laundry expertise
  • Basic mending ability by hand and sewing machine
  • Organization and efficiency

Religious Advisor

$58,130 average annual salary

  • Education about religion and faith through various books, activities, social justice, music, tradition, travel
  • Evolve faith through experience and learning
  • Help understand spirituality to promote peace, healing, and union with God and others
  • sensitivity, empathy, and understanding
  • Ensure proper growth and relational development
  • Spiritual counsel and advice
  • Meet their spiritual, emotional, and relational goals
  • Meditation and contemplation

Protocol Officer

$71,135 average annual salary

  •  Research traditions and customs
  • Distinguish between time-honored tradition and mindless repetition
  • Knowledge of preferences and customs of each person
  • Prioritize welcome and respect
  • Educate daily on etiquette and customs for various situations
  • Minimize or eliminate any opportunity for embarrassment or offense
  • Establish and enforce consistency using logic
  • Develop itineraries and agendas
  • Identify security risks and create safety plans

Travel and Event Planner

$41,873 average annual salary

  • Research, suggest, and decide where to go, methods of transportation, car rentals, hotel accommodations, tours, and attractions
  • Advise about weather conditions, local customs, attractions, necessary documents, and currency exchange rates
  • Visualization
  • Organization and planning
  • Plan and execute ceremonies and special events     

Budget Analyst

$71,590 average annual salary

  • Manage family finances, analyze and prepare monthly expenditures
  • Estimate future financial needs
  • Research of domestic economic and spending trends
  • Develop projections based on past economic and spending trends
  • Technical analysis, monitoring spending for deviations, and preparing monthly and annual reports
  • Analyze investments and their market performance
  • Education about financial terms, issues, trends, economic history

Historian

$55,800 average annual salary

  • Organize data, and analyze and interpret its authenticity and relative significance
  • Gather historical data from sources such as archives, court records, diaries, news files, and photographs, as well as collect data sources such as books, pamphlets, and periodicals
  • Thorough investigative and research skills
  • Analyze and interpret information
  • Interest in human behaviour, culture and society
  • Enquiring mind

Personal Stylist

$50,346 average annual salary

  • Attention to detail
  • Analytical mind
  • Problem-solving ability
  • Knowledge of fabrics, colors, seasonal items, accessories, etiquette
  • Knowledge brands, designs, trends

Personal Chef

$62,282 average annual salary

  • Customize unique meal and snack plans
  • Skilled at recognizing flavors and judging the balance of seasonings
  • Knowledge of kitchen tools and appliances and their uses
  • Procure and organize various recipes
  • Shop for all groceries within budget
  • Prepare the meal in a timely manner
  • Clean up the kitchen to excellent standards
  • Store leftovers promptly

Chauffeur

$22,440 average annual salary

  • Transport people to various activities in a safe and timely manner
  • Stock vehicles with amenities
  • Keep vehicles shiny and clean
  • Vehicle maintenance and repair

Waste Management

$64,000 average annual salary

  • Plan, implement, and coordinate comprehensive waste systems designed to maximize waste prevention, reuse, and recycling opportunities.
  • Evaluate the success of plans and make changes as necessary.
  • Minimize the impact of waste to protect the environment.

Plumber

$50,620 average annual salary

  • Unclog sink drains and pipes as needed
  • Replace salt in home water softener
  • Humidify and/or dehumidify the air in home
  • Repair water supply lines, waste disposal systems, and related appliances and fixtures

Special Skills

  • Good at untying knots
  • Feeding picky children and spouse
  • Finder of lost things
  • Making shoddy rental houses comfy and homey
  • Empath
  • Introvert
  • Comforter
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Initiative
  • Time management
  • Stress management
  • Interpersonal relationships
  • Excellent verbal and written communication

Research

I can research anything. I enjoy researching. I loved researching literary, psychological, and educational analyses in university – and all the details of citing the sources properly. I can find anything on Google. Over time, I just have learned the best keywords for a search. I can find the best whatever we’re looking for in minutes, before we move to a new base or city. I research what we’re learning about in our homeschool and design my own curriculum.

Frugal

We have learned to thrive with one income. We’ve learned to survive with one vehicle. I’ve worked with very tight budgets as we’ve raised and homeschooled four kids all over. We focus on eating well and traveling and living life to the fullest. We’re investing for the future with 529s, IRAs, mutual funds, life insurance, and retirement plans. We’re paying down debt.

Multitasking

I can do it all and do it well. When life gets hectic, I’m in charge to streamline everything. I have a great memory and seldom get sidetracked for long.

Adaptable

Things change. We’ve received written orders that have changed last minute. We had to cancel plans to travel on vacation in order to PCS. We’ve had extensions fall through. We’ve experienced deployments. I have to stay flexible. I have to be strong for my kids.

Critical Thinking

I don’t want my kids just to regurgitate information and blindly obey. I want them to know right from wrong and question everything – me, tradition, reality, authority – why? why? WHY?

Observation, analysis, interpretation, reflection, evaluation, inference, explanation, problem solving, and decision making

  • Understand the logical connections between ideas.
  • Determine the importance and relevance of arguments and ideas.
  • Recognise, build, and appraise arguments.
  • Identify inconsistencies and errors in reasoning.
  • Approach problems in a consistent and systematic way.
  • Reflect on the justification of their own assumptions, beliefs, and values.

Education

M.Ed. secondary English education, gifted endorsement

B.A. English literature with minor in psychology, cum laude

Summary

As a military spouse, I have some unique skills.

I may have developed these abilities anyway.

But my life is very different than it could have been because I married an Air Force officer, my dad retired from the Army Reserves, and both my parents worked as GS employees since forever.

Being a military spouse can be like having a full-time job. Much of the expertise I’ve developed over the years are highly transferable and marketable in the workforce.

All in different seasons and different bases, I have worked outside the house, stayed at home, worked from home, and considered going back to school. I have a master’s degree in education, so that’s essentially an expensive piece of paper at this point since I don’t want to go back to teach in a school.

Every day, I develop and further solidify impressive marketable life experience just by supporting my active duty husband, being a stay-at-home mom, and homeschooling my kids. 

I may not have an impressive résumé or curriculum vitae, but I know what my abilities are.

My worth is not only in what I do. My value is not in the income I bring or don’t bring into our household. As a wife, mother, and homeschooler, I have intrinsic value in the efficiency of my household management.

The TRUTH about the military spouse job search.

There’s little to no personal fulfillment.

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7 Tips for Designing With Artificial Plants

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Opting to decorate your home with artificial plants may seem like an unforgivable decision if all you know of faux plants and flowers are plastic options which look as fake as they are.

Artificial plant manufacturers have significantly honed their craft in recent years and they now offer an excellent option when laying out your interior design. From lower costs to higher versatility, artificial plants bring a lot to the table.

Here’s everything you need to know to craft a knockout look with faux plants.

Choose the Right Artificial Plants

While there are incredible faux plants and flowers on the market, there are still many other inferior options which look tacky and fake. Make sure that you see the plants in person or choose a product with a proven track record. Many Balsam Hill reviews rave about the realistic look of their faux plants, for example, which helps you to make sure that online purchases will still meet your expectations for realism when they show up on your doorstep.

Find Unique Spots for Surprising Designs

Because fake plants don’t need real sunlight, this means you can create unique designs by utilizing plants in locations that their real counterparts could not survive. If there’s a specific plant you want in your home but it can’t thrive where you need it, look into purchasing an artificial plant of the same variety.

Change-Up the Way You Pot Them

The benefits of not having to keep your plant healthy don’t stop in where you place them, there’s also how you place them. Because you don’t have to worry about what the plant needs to survive you can get creative with the vessels you use to hold your plants. Change it up and create some truly one-of-a-kind designs.

Hide Them With Realistic Layouts

While the prior points touch on way to use your artificial plants to get looks that simply aren’t possible with real plants, sometimes you still want your plants to look like they are alive. The best way to create this illusion is to get realistic with your planting. Place them in a location that a plant could reasonably grow, and use real soil in the pot to give the impression of a living plant.

Add Living Plants Into the Mix

Just because you are decorating with artificial plants doesn’t mean you have to fully zero out your budget for fresh plants. Combining real plants with faux plants gives you the best of both worlds. Your artificial plants help to fill out your displays and create contrast to the areas where you swap in fresh plants. This is an excellent way to have the benefits of fresh flowers while also having a larger array of flowers to show off and keeping a reasonable budget.

Accent Your Designs With Plants

One of the biggest benefits of artificial plants is the ability to use them as decoration on other pieces of interior design. Because you don’t need to worry about keeping your Balsam Hill flowers and plants in the sun, planted or watered you can add them onto structures and pieces where real flowers would wither and die to create beautiful floral arrangements.

Adjust Each Plant for the Right Look

Artificial flowers are often made from sturdy materials which makes them more malleable than real plants. This means you can lay out your design, then fine tune it by adjusting petals or stems to manipulate them until they look just right, without worrying that you’re going to break the stem.

The days of tacky faux plants are in the past. Modern artificial flowers and plants allow you to create looks that can’t be matched with real plants, all while spending less in the long run because they don’t die. As you plan your next project, consider utilizing artificial plants into the design

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Teaching Kids to Cook

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My kids have been in the kitchen alongside me and my husband since they were babies.

I wanted my children exposed to cooking from the earliest possible age. I wanted them growing up around warm ovens and simmering stovetop sauces. I wanted the kitchen to be our symbolic family hearthfire.

So many of my peers didn’t learn how to cook and were forced to either learn as young adults or spend lots of money on takeout and eating in restaurants, which isn’t really healthy. Cooking shows and competitions are all the rage, but how many of us could actually put a nice meal together before our mid-twenties?

Many of our mothers either didn’t want us underfoot in the kitchen or they worked outside the home. My mom has never enjoyed cooking. She was great at preparing! We had lots of semi-homemade quick, simple, cheap and mostly unhealthy meals growing up. I was a terrible eater and would spend hours at the dinner table, staring at my congealing plate. My dad was a “clean your plate” parent. It’s a miracle I never really developed an eating disorder.

There is a generation gap with many of us now choosing to be stay-at-home or work-at-home moms or working part-time or having flexible work hours – and we don’t have any domestic skills.

I taught myself how to cook at about age 12 – from an old Weight Watchers cookbook. I started making some simple dinners straight from the recipes in the book. My dad started looking great and felt better, until I left home at age 21. I grew up with The Cajun Chef, Wan Can Cook, and Julia Child cooking shows on PBS. With trepidation and no guidance, I learned to play with flavors, colors, textures…what went well together. I would savor restaurant meals, seeking to discover this herb in the potatoes by smell and flavor or later researching the cooking technique of a seared pork chop. This was long before Internet and search engine days. Taking a snapshot of your plate for social media was unthought of.

As a young wife, I struggled to work full-time as a new teacher and get a frugal but healthy dinner on the table each evening. When I became pregnant, I struggled even more with fatigue. I resorted to chicken nuggets, fish sticks, frozen potatoes, and grilled cheese sandwiches. I realized the dilemma many families face with little money, stressful lives, and growing families. How can we purchase, prep, and cook healthy meals when we’re barely surviving financially and emotionally?

Sometimes, it takes a crisis or two to make changes happen.

Fast forward to a few years later, with three young kids – homeschooling and desperately seeking solutions to sensitive skin in one child, adrenal failure for me, and potential ADHD for another child. My husband took several prescription meds for high blood pressure and high cholesterol.

We knew it didn’t have to be that way.

We started searching for better solutions.

We had to change our food philosophy.

We started cooking and eating chemical-free.

And I mean no artificial flavors, sweeteners, or colors.

Giving up M&Ms was really hard, y’all.

We simplified.

It sure made grocery shopping easier and quicker.

We said no a lot in the beginning until we and the kids learned what we shouldn’t buy and eat. It was easier for our youngest kids who never knew any differently.

We made our own bread, with our littles alongside, watching and helping and learning.

We cooked meals and treats from scratch, with little hands chopping and stirring and helping.

And yes, I can tell you that no one in our family takes prescription meds, but that’s our lifestyle, choice, and doctor recommendation. It might not work for you or your family, so please don’t stop taking something you may need. I don’t recommend that at all. That’s just dangerous.

My husband tapered off his meds over a couple years under doctors monitoring his health and lab results. He lost lots of weight and we became much more active and outdoorsy as a family. Yeah, we got into essential oils and natural health too.

Food really can heal, but not without exercise, nature time, and many other factors. There’s still so much we don’t understand about the human body.

We went way too far in the other direction but now we’re more balanced.

I occasionally even buy and eat M&Ms. And I must have my Starburst jelly beans at Easter. We like Cheetos and Doritos occasionally.

We try to make good choices, but we’re not legalistic about food.

Kids learn to cook by example.

Sure, it’s often easier for me to make a meal or treat without helping hands. But I want to also make memories. I want a legacy of wonderful smells and memories in the kitchen. Like I had with my grandma.

Cooking together as a family is a spiritual experience.

My toddler son often didn’t want to wait and I once found him in the kitchen with his stool at the counter, chopping garlic cloves and potatoes for himself with his little Kinder knife. He wanted mashed potatoes right now.

So, that was a scary moment and we had to request he wait for us and ask for help.

I have started compiling recipe binders for my kids as keepsakes of our favorite family recipes for them.

Teaching Kids to Cook

Teaching Kids to Cook

We don’t often give cooking lessons; it just comes naturally as we’re often together in the kitchen.

Babies

Exposure. Babies naturally want to be with us. We need to prepare meals. I often wore my babies while prepping and cooking, as long as there was no danger, like hot oil. I narrated what I was doing or sometimes, they would fall asleep to the motion.

Toddlers

As soon as babies are able to sit in the high chair, I would have them as close to the action as we could. I would narrate and allow them to “help” with safe tools or playing with food and safe utensils.

I have some favorite kitchen tools for kids. We like to teach with real tools.

They love to be a part of daily life. We shouldn’t isolate them for our ease.

We often make things for fun that are perfect for training little chefs – cookies, simple treats, snacks.

Preschoolers

This is such a fun time. My kids would love to help in the kitchen. And they’re able to really help from age 3-5.

They love to help measure and add ingredients.

They love to mix the dough or batter for breads, cakes, and cookies.

I do the heavy lifting and the getting out of the oven part.

I love to watch their proud faces when they help in the kitchen.

We have a Montessori philosophy to cooking and meal times. The kids do everything they can by themselves with real tools, or smaller versions of real tools. Sure, there are messes and mistakes. We can clean that up, and protecting little hearts while learning is more important than a spill.

Elementary

My kids became quite independent in the kitchen at about age 8.

We’ve worked on practical lessons like reading recipes and learning fractions with measuring ingredients.

I’ve narrated and taught by example which flavors work well, allowing them to sometimes experiment with spices and herbs.

Making eggs, real mashed potatoes, box couscous or mac and cheese, milkshakes or smoothies in the blender are great early skills.

Timing the making of different items for a breakfast that’s fresh and hot is a great skill to practice.

Super easy to make rice in the rice cooker.

They can help prep and set the slow cooker.

The bread machine is another great tool, and we often use it for dough.

Check out my kitchen essentials. We believe working with the best tools we can afford.

My son is becoming a master on the grill. He now supervises me!

I made them each a recipe binder with our favorite recipes and we add to it frequently.

Middle School

My youngest daughter is quite the baker, making breakfast muffins and cakes quite frequently.

My middle daughter can make a full meal with almost no help or supervision. It’s amazing and so helpful when things get hectic in our schedule.

My eldest daughter has perfected the Coca-Cola cake.

I give guidance and offer tips as we dance around the kitchen together, making treats and meals. They have more freedom and choices. They have preferences. I’m becoming their assistant and coach.

High School

Teens need to develop life skills before they’re on their own – to college or workforce.

The goal is having successful and independent cooks as they enter adulthood.

I don’t want my kids having to live on ramen, mac and cheese, frozen dinners, or takeout because they don’t know how to navigate a kitchen.

Basic cooking skills I want my kids to learn:

  1. Basic knife skills.
  2. Food safety.
  3. Separate egg yolk and white.
  4. Hard boil an egg.
  5. Basic omelette.
  6. Knead dough.
  7. Homemade salad dressing.
  8. Cook pasta well – al dente.
  9. Melt baking chocolate.
  10. Bake a potato.
  11. Roast a whole chicken. or turkey. or pork. or beef. or veggies.
  12. Make meat stock – as the basis for soups and other recipes.
  13. The 5 mother sauces.
  14. Make rice – in a pan or pot. Great for Spanish or Asian flavors.
  15. Cook the perfect steak – indoors or on the outdoor grill. (If you want a steak well-done, just have chicken.)

These skills are the cornerstones of cooking.

There are a few skills that I didn’t include.

My kids long ago learned how to make batter for various recipes.

Not many people need or want to know how to make the perfect cocktail.

I don’t even know (or care to know) how to make a poached egg. My husband and middle daughter do – for their eggs Benedict.

Not many are into canning and preserving. We have canned tomato sauce and applesauce.

We follow our interests, constantly improving and learning.

I didn’t have most of these skills until I had been married a few years and got interested in watching food shows in the evenings and wanted to eat and cook healthier real food from scratch. There is a plethora of information on the Internet to teach these skills and more.

How did you learn to cook? How do you teach your kids how to cook?

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Consider This Before Renting a Home

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We’ve always rented our homes.

As a military family, we PCS or move residences every 2-4 years. Purchasing a home just doesn’t make financial sense to us.

Most of us move out of our parents’ homes into apartments with friends or college roommates, then we eventually get a real job, find a partner, and buy a house. It’s so linear.

My life has never been linear.

My active duty Air Force husband receives a housing allowance that differs everywhere we go based on cost of living and various military installations. It’s supposed to cover about 80% of housing expenses, but it often doesn’t even cover that much.

We feel the stigma of renters. Neighbors come to meet us and visibly shy away when they realize we’re renting in their neighborhood.

Do they think we won’t care for the lawn? Do they feel we bring down their property value?

They realize we’re transient and they don’t want to make the effort of a temporary friendship. Most of the people we’ve met in our Ohio town don’t understand military life.

And we homeschool, which often puts up another barrier.

It can be a lonely life.

What Do We Consider Before Renting a Home?

We’ve often rented sight unseen – and I don’t really recommend that, but it’s stressful enough moving across the country or around the world.

We use online sites that specialize in finding military housing like Military By Owner. We’ve found some great deals. And homeowners who use these sites know military families.

We try to find a house to suit us that is less than our allowance. We don’t want to be house-poor. It’s really hard to find what we want since we have a rather large family and we’re at home a lot more than other families.

We pray about what we want and need. After so many years of renting, we have a few items we really don’t want to budge on in a house. It’s amazing to see those prayers get answered in amazing ways.

Research the Neighborhood

Some families are concerned about school districts. We homeschool, so that’s not a worry for us.

I usually join a social media group for military families, homeschoolers, or a city-based group to get info on the area. These are great places to ask questions.

We want a good balance of families with kids so our children can make friends. I want the streets to be safe for walking and biking and rollerblading, so sidewalks are a bonus.

Is it near enough to the base where my husband works? He doesn’t want to commute more than 30 minutes each way and I don’t blame him. Traffic sucks.

Is it easily accessible to a good grocery store and library? These are our priorities.

Ask Owner about Pets and other Things

We have two cats. We know we have non-refundable deposits for them. It’s sometimes very hard to find a good rental that will accept us with pets or cats.

Can I paint walls? Hang curtains or drapes? Can I get blinds or shades?

Can I plant flowers? Can I transplant something that is unhappy in its current location? Do I have to replace a plant that dies? Can I trim trees?

Is there something special I need to know about and maintain – like a water softener? Or a sump pump?

Be proactive. This is not the time to ask forgiveness instead of permission.

Inspect the Home

Document any damages to prove you didn’t make them – inside and out.

Perhaps have a friend come help who isn’t emotionally invested and has a good eye. Make note of broken tile, wall holes, floor scratches, torn carpet, window sills, door frames, counters, cabinets…

If there is furniture left inside the house, make sure it’s in the contract and you’re not liable if it breaks. I prefer to have all the owner’s stuff removed.

Take photos and write it all down on the contract or make a list and have the landlord sign and date it as proof of agreement.

For example, our landlady knows the windowsill in the laundry room was chewed up from her dogs, so we won’t be held liable.

Study the Contract

Make sure you understand everything in it.

Look up your state’s landlord tenant laws and know those.

Ask questions. Make changes. Initial every page and have the landlord do so also and make copies.

Landlords always want to know everything about you before renting, but that should be a two-way street. How many units do you own? What’s your monthly income? Mortgages? How many people have you evicted? What were the circumstances? I need references from your previous tenants.

Kelgore Trout

Discuss Deposits, Repairs, Requirements, Responsibilities

Is the deposit refundable? What could invalidate the refund?

Are there fees or deductibles for repairs? We usually have to pay for minor repairs like plumbing. For larger repairs, we’ve had a $50 deductible. I guess this is to help ensure we don’t just go around breaking stuff.

What is the landlord’s responsibility? The way I see it, it’s not my house, so they should handle the major stuff. I replace light bulbs and filters. If an appliance stops working, I expect it to be repaired or replaced.

What will you as the tenant be responsible to do? I take care of the lawn by mowing and edging, but I’m not paying for a chemical service to keep it “golf course weedfree.”

Worst Case Scenarios

It seems to me that most landlords don’t want to return deposits. They seem to do anything, make outrageous complaints so they don’t have to return the deposit money – even when there’s nothing wrong with the house. “Normal wear and tear” is a relative term. I can’t imagine moving without a previous deposit to place on the new place. What do people do when it’s required to pay two months’ rent upfront as a deposit?

I owned my home in Georgia when I met Aaron. He was stationed at Robins AFB then. Selling it was a hassle and I regret not keeping it and being a landlady myself. It was a cute little 3BR ranch on a pretty lot, convenient to everything!

Our first rental house in San Antonio, Texas, was near Lackland AFB. Aaron’s cousin went to check out the house for us. It was clean and pretty new. I don’t think we could have done any better with our financial situation at the time. The owners were dual military officers, stationed overseas and the house was through a management company. When our brick patio started eroding and deteriorating, we took photos as proof and repaired it as best we could. We cleaned it well upon move-out and got our deposit back, no problem. We lived there two years.

We lived on Hickam AFB in Hawaii. There weren’t many other options. The housing office is generally fine to deal with, but our neighbors were nightmares. They dug up plants and chopped down protected trees and when housing came to accuse me about it, I got very upset. The housing allowance just disappears when you live on base, but some utilities are usually included. We lived there three years.

We rented sight unseen in Utah – near Hill AFB. When we showed up in our rental minivan in the driveway from a very long flight, the man with our key was unavailable for a while. The condition of the house wasn’t as described or the photos in the ad. It was much more rundown than we expected. The owner was a Navy 06 living in Maryland. Repairs were always a hassle. The local contact down the street we had for “management” suddenly passed away from a heart attack. The neighborhood handyman we were told to call refused to help and complained he never got paid! We always felt the landlord and his wife were suspicious of us. We seldom complained. We did so much to that house that was falling apart around us. We stripped wallpaper and painted the living room and kitchen to match the dining room. They even traveled to inspect the house in person and criticized my cleaning. There was a leak in the basement bathroom wall and the owner’s son spent a month repairing it – with no rent deduction and supplies and dust were everywhere. The entire basement flooded on Memorial Day. The neighborhood rallied together to help me. And the owner’s wife swore there was a sump pump and I could have prevented the flood. There was no sump pump. Upon move-out, we cleaned the house top to bottom and several ladies came to help us. We had to pay for a commercial whole house carpet cleaning and show the receipt. The owner was moving back into the house with his wife. He refused to return our deposit. He made petty complaint after complaint. The wallpaper in the stairwell to the basement was torn, but it was like that when we moved in. The flat stovetop wasn’t cleaned and we should replace it – for $650. I rushed over and scraped it with a razor. Supplies were left in a storage room – by his son. The grass wasn’t manicured and my husband and son rushed over in the dark to borrow an edger and fix it. My kids drew a welcome sign in chalk on the front stoop and he wanted it scrubbed off – even though it was supposed to rain later that week. Really?! Finally, we complained to the neighbors and asked what should we do since he kept adding to his list. They gave him a talking-to and we finally got the deposit check returned – only a couple days before we were leaving the state! We lived there four years.

Overseas housing is a little different. Rental houses must get approval through the military housing office and applications are handled through them. This is supposed to protect us as the American military tenant. Also, rent is due in Euro and our housing allowance is in American dollars. It’s all a bit stressful. We found a nice house in a village near Kaiserslautern, Germany, that was about 45 minutes from where my husband worked at the Landstuhl hospital. We rented this house because it had an amazing kitchen with a big stovetop and two ovens – American size! and an American refrigerator. The bathroom was pretty great too. The housing office puts a lot of pressure on to find a house ASAP so they don’t have to support us staying in temporary housing on the bases. We looked at 3-4 houses before deciding on this one and it was a relief. The landlady and her daughter and son-in-law seemed delightful. They invited us over for New Year’s and were always friendly. We had them over for a celebration dinner with American grilled food. When we did our final walkthrough with a checklist for the housing office, they said everything was cleaned and in order. We breathed a sigh of relief. We had about 10 days until we flew back to the States. The housing office called and said the landlady claimed we owed €3000 for the kitchen wallpaper and another €650 for a cleaning fee. When we questioned this, she didn’t think the bathroom was cleaned well nor the blinds dusted. My husband and daughter rushed over to rewash everything, even though it had been spotless when we left. Germany and old stone houses are dusty. So they canceled that cleaning fee. They still wanted wallpaper money and that ate up our whole deposit. The housing office clerk said they couldn’t request that much as a going rate for paint. They played semantics and we ended up getting part of our deposit back – only €2400. The final insult was that “they were trying to prepare the house for German tenants and they were pickier than Americans.” We lived there three years. Apparently, the house is still vacant – after more than a year. They can’t find or maybe they don’t want another American tenant. Rumor has it that Germans won’t pay the rental fees that is set for Americans through the housing office agreements. The landlady owns 7 or more homes in the area that she rents out – mostly to Americans, because it pays.

We’re now in Ohio near Wright-Patterson AFB. This house is undoubtedly the best house we’ve ever lived in. It’s on a quiet street. There’s a creek in the backyard and lots of wildlife. The landlady just updated the kitchen and flooring and it seems brand new. There are very few problems or inconveniences. She pays for an exterminator to come out quarterly. We have fixed all the toilet mechanisms ourselves since the hard water destroys plastic quickly. We’re being proactive about making minor repairs like patching picture holes in the walls and fixing paint stains. None of the paint in this house is washable!

I hope we don’t have issues upon move-out time. I am pretty weary of fighting with landlords over little things.

After all this renting, we know exactly what we want when it comes time to buy our own home.

Do you have a rental horror story? Do you have rental tips?

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Decorating on a Budget
DIY Kitchen Pantry Makeover
Our Learning Spaces
How to Clean a House
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