Jennifer Lambert

A Sacred Balance

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College Credit Plus in Ohio

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I started college early and took several courses before I graduated high school. It wasn’t easy to navigate in the mid-90s and it was a new concept. I am glad I did that and would do it again. It was good for me to ease in to college. I attended a local college – now called Clayton State University, then Georgia State University to complete my bachelor’s in English and master’s in education.

Every state and school district and college have different requirements for early college. For homeschoolers, sometimes it’s easier and sometimes it seems more difficult.

I have homeschooled my four children for over sixteen years.

One graduated our homeschool and started early college classes. I did pressure her a little, but she wasn’t as motivated as I would have liked. I wish I could go back and be more gentle.

Two are starting early college classes this upcoming fall semester. This is their choice and I’m excited to help them.

One kid left to go! He’s only twelve and has so many options and interests and we aren’t pressuring him at all.

Information about College Credit Plus for Homeschoolers

Students must be Ohio residents to participate in College Credit Plus. As a military family, this was tricky for us the first year we PCS’ed here from Germany.

View all CCP FAQ’s here.

Students in grades 7 through 12 can qualify for dual enrollment or early college courses.

Earning college credits while still in high school can reduce the time and cost of attending college after high school. It’s great to ease in and get a taste of college courses before committing to enrollment.

The College Credit Plus Program includes courses taken during the summer term also.

Be aware: classes failed or withdrawn with an “F” (or equivalent failing grade) will receive an “F” on the high school and/or college transcripts and will be computed into the high school and college GPA.

Many entry-level courses earned at an Ohio public college are guaranteed to transfer to any other Ohio public college.

In Ohio, there are lots of higher education options:

  • 14 universities with 24 regional branch campuses
  • 23 community colleges
  • More than 70 adult workforce education and training centers statewide

Check with the institution of your choice if they offer College Credit Plus and what their special requirements might be. This interactive map shows you which option might be near you.

Homeschoolers are responsible for purchasing or renting textbooks and supplies. It’s been noted by many that homeschooled students don’t seem to receive as many credit hours as they request or not as many as public and private schooled students.

Note that colleges are not required to modify course content based on the ages of the students. Some content may be for mature audiences.

Students will be expected to follow the rules and regulations set by the college/university. 

Transportation is the responsibility of the student. This can be sometimes difficult since we homeschool parents always chauffeuring our kids around to activities. I try to plan their courses only two days a week to limit travel.

The state education website breaks down the CCP process into four steps.

College Credit Plus applications open in February 1 and close April 1.

How to Navigate College Credit Plus

Step one: Set up a parent OH|ID account as soon as possible and save that login information.

Step two: After February 1, start state application for tuition funding for each child.

We usually request only 15 credit hours for the first year or two so they’re not too stressed. You can request up to 30 credits for the year, but I feel they won’t grant homeschoolers more than 15.

You have to upload your homeschool intent letter received from your school district.

Step three: Apply to college(s). The applications should be free for high school/CCP students. Pay attention to details like sending transcripts or test scores and if permission slips or extra forms are required. We had to sign maturity forms and permission slips.

Some common college choices:

Step four: College admissions office should contact you and/or the student with a tentative admission letter to send to the state to process tuition funding so there’s no holdup on that end. Upload these letters to state CCP files and submit before April 1!

Sometimes, there are additional requirements and instructions from the colleges depending on several factors such as age of child, test scores, transcripts.

My first child took the SAT, but the math score wasn’t high enough for her to take the college math class without a remedial course or placement exam. This also affected her ability to take some science courses.

My middle child hasn’t take any standardized tests in her life, and the placement exams were waived based on her age and transcripts. But she took the college placement tests to streamline her ability to take college writing and math without remediation.

My third child is deemed too young and is required to take college placement exams for admission into CCP, even though their transcript is almost the same as my middle child’s.

Step five: Funding letters from state should be received about the first week of May, before 5/6. Make sure you send that letter ASAP to the bursar at the college or you’ll be responsible to pay tuition!

Step six: Receive admission letters from colleges and instructions how to register for classes and student IDs. Usually, a physical appointment is required with a registrar to ensure all is understand and done correctly and they release the hold on registration. Only certain core classes are usually available to CCP students. Wright State advisor stated that students can request to take a class and it’s at the discretion of the dean.

It’s an exciting time for our homeschooled teens to enter into adulthood and attend college. We can learn to let go and let them navigate their education and future. It’s great to ease into it and determine if that’s the route they want to go.

I feel CCP allows homeschooled students to make decisions for themselves and preview college which could help them determine their direction for the future. It might make it easier to enroll in the college of their choice later, after high school. It’s a great opportunity!

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Let me know if your homeschooled child has done CCP!

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Teen Jobs

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My eldest child began college at age 16 and it was perhaps a little bit too soon for her. I encouraged her but she felt trapped into that life and didn’t enjoy it. She got a part-time job and had some bad experiences with employers exploiting her and sexual harassment that went unpunished. I worried since she had completed our homeschool that she needed to spend her time wisely. Maybe I should have let her lie around and do nothing instead of pushing her to be more productive.

She worked as a grocery cashier at a national chain, clerk at a tennis center, a local casual restaurant hostess, at a Halloween shop, as a bank teller, and now as a caregiver to disabled adults.

She is now living on her own, sharing an apartment with friends. She quit college and works full-time and I hope she’s happy. She just turned 21. It hurts me that she chose to do this. I wish I still had options to help her. I wish she was still on our family health insurance plan. I pray she doesn’t fall into debt or have an accident or illness.

But if I could back, I would be kinder to my daughter instead of pushing and challenging. If I knew then what I know now.

We are experiencing a vast shift where employees are protesting poor working conditions. I know that young people and those presenting as females are often treated worse in the workplace and I do worry for my kids. My eldest tells us horrible stories about her own work experiences and that of her friends and how they are not protected or helped by management. I worry my middle daughter won’t be treated well and won’t speak up. I am so anxious.

It irritates me how difficult it is to find entry level jobs. The requirements and preferences of employers frustrates me. Most potential employees have little experience or higher education or certification. How do these employers expect to hire people if they require so much for so little pay and often poor working conditions?

Why can’t cashiers have chairs? Who is it disrespecting? Why are so many shoppers angry and belligerent?

It also upsets me that so many career options are undervalued – beauty industry, cleaning, nursing, social work, teaching, secretarial work, child care, elderly care – typically women-centric jobs or “pink collar” that bring little pay and offer poor work conditions. Our society must think these jobs aren’t important. This past couple years certainly has brought to the forefront of our newsfeeds the lack of respect for food service and caregiving careers. These workers seem invisible unless they do an exceptional job with a smile for very little pay. I think it’s awful now that college isn’t even an answer to a good job. I have a master’s degree and that’s not even special anymore.

I worked nonstop from age 16 until I was 30. I had some horrible experiences. I didn’t know any better. Bosses and coworkers were often very abusive, but I had little recourse or knowledge of workers rights. I went to college full-time, beginning with skipping my senior year of high school, including summers. I never had a break. I do not recommend this.

My parents are Silent Generation and I am GenX and that’s a bizarre combo. My dad would make very unfunny gibes about owning me and all that I owed him for the expenses he incurred while raising me.

When I quit work with the birth of my second child, I was quite lost and didn’t know how to rest. That mindset is damaging. The pressure to become a SuperMom is overwhelming. I’ve learned to balance better and I want that peace for my kids.

I wish I hadn’t been such a coward. I wish I had been encouraged to speak up, to take risks, to rest, to quit.

We are not what we produce. We are whole and complete and we deserve rest.

Where are the Teen Jobs?

I feel that teens are exploited since many adults aren’t willing to work under the current conditions. Many adults juggle child care and/or elderly care that employers aren’t willing to work around or pay enough to cover those expenses. My daughters are working hard and picking up extra shifts when people call in.

But I’m not raising kids to maintain the status quo. I want them to be respected on the job. I want them to rest when they need to, not having to grow up too fast to join the adult world. I want improvements to workers rights and minimum wage. I am so, so sorry for the apathy of my generation that we didn’t fight for more change.

There are some options for teens to work part time for pay. There doesn’t seem to be as many options as when I was a teenager.

In July 1986, 57 percent of sixteen- to nineteen-year-olds were employed; in July 2017 only 36 percent worked.

Thrivers by Michele Borba

I did babysitting from the age of 12 when I went through a course with Girl Scouts. I worked at McDonald’s at age 16, Pizza Hut, a drugstore, Media Play (remember that place?), then as a secretary through college. I was able to do substitute teaching and after school care during college also. I taught full time in various schools. I was an adjunct English professor. I worked in a day spa. I occasionally tutored after my kids were born. I just don’t have time for side hustles anymore, and thankfully I don’t have to work.

My husband did lawn care during summers. He also did various farm chores from childhood for pay or volunteer. He grew up about an hour south of Chicago on three acres surrounded by farms.

My two daughters did babysitting, but they found many parents don’t want to pay even minimum wage and expected way too much and often felt unsafe in their homes.

My middle daughter got paid well for pet sitting the last couple years with a few families during the holidays.

We have a neighbor boy who does lawn care on our street, but many families in our city hire professional house cleaners and lawn maintenance companies.

One of my children wants to sell their art online, either stickers or something similar.

Many fast food restaurants are hiring as young as 14.

Typically, many shops and restaurants will hire teens beginning at age 16.

I wonder if some businesses just don’t want to deal with the child labor laws affecting minors.

Every state is different, but most stores seem to hire only adults over age 18. This makes it more difficult for teens to get experience or work after school and during summers.

My second child just got a part-time job as a bagger/cashier at a local privately-owned grocery, but I worry she will regret it. She’s so tired all the time. She wanted to start working soon, but maybe not this soon. She’s 15 1/2. I worry she might be treated poorly and not know to recognize it or what to do. She has plans and goals and ambitions. She wants a car and flying lessons and to travel the world.

I’m thrilled for her and I do believe that money can and will open doors – but at what cost?

If you think it’s good for kids to get “life experience” by working long shifts for $7.25 an hour, what kind of life do you want to prepare them for, exactly?

Joshua Potash

I just want my kids to be healthy, safe, protected. They do not have to work until they’re on their own. I provide all their needs and most of their wants. They have education investment funds for higher learning. I don’t want them to feel guilt or shame like I did that I spend so much money to give them a good start in the world. I am blessed to be able to do so.

I encourage my kids to volunteer or find part-time or temporary jobs that will help them learn skills for the future, but only if they want to. We are in a position that we can help our kids if they want to do summer internships. Sometimes, people need jobs just to make money to pay the bills. The idea of a career or dream job can seem far away. They have plenty of time.

My kids are super helpful with home maintenance and chores. They love to learn about cleaning and fixing things. I love having companionship and help.

I wish I could say this to myself and to my children:

My dear teenager, you do not have to work. You do not have to get a part-time job.

There is no need for you to struggle or hustle and grind.

You do not have to enter the adult world just yet.

Play in the woods.

Read the manga.

Jump in the leaf pile.

Draw the picture.

Watch Netflix.

Play videogames.

Collect cards.

Play the guitar.

Sleep in late.

Go to bed late.

Eat when you want.

Go to the bathroom when you need.

Lie around in your pajamas all day.

Dream of what you want to be when you grow up.

Keep on learning.

Stay a child a little longer.

Don’t grow up just yet.

My husband retires next year after twenty years in the Air Force, and he is anxious about that transition. It’s laughable that there are so many jobs available that he is overqualified for or that require a Ph.D., but the pay is less that what he makes now.

To make a living is not to make a killing; it’s to have enough.

Wendell Berry

I pray that worker conditions improve and minimum wages are raised to a livable income. I fear for our society if the status quo remains.

It’s not just the entry level jobs that are desperate. It’s the entire economy. The job market is falling apart. The media complains that no one wants to work. Of course no one wants to work! The work conditions are abhorrent. And what about the 700,000+ workers who have died from COVID-19 complications? Surely many, if not all of them, worked somewhere. Until the work conditions change to reflect valuing and respecting lives, our society will not improve.

One reason I love the wave of people quitting and the wave of strikes is that every time someone walks away from a paycheck or withholds their labor is a leap of faith that things can be better. And when people take that leap incredible things start to happen.

Joshua Potash

Most of us want to work. We are designed for work. When we have to work to live, yet never seem to keep our head above water, we lose sight of working for the sheer joy of producing enough to live and having balance. Our capitalist society has pushed, pushed, pushed us to the breaking point that bigger, better, faster, more, better is never enough.

I ask myself, my husband, and my kids: what would you do for work if money were not an option?

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Thirteen

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All three of my girls are now over twelve years old.

I feel poignant about this. I should feel happy to get over that hump, I guess.

My girls are getting much more independent, doing their own things. I encourage them to own themselves, speaking up, and managing their own appointments, activities, time.

Watching them walk away with my heart is the hardest thing I’ve ever faced. Keeping a smile on my face so they don’t see my anxiety is about to kill me.

My daughters are 19, 14, and 13.

My son is just now ten, but it seems different.

Having teen girls isn’t all the bad that society and the media portray it to be.

Parenting teens doesn’t have to break us.

I really love seeing my girls grow and mature. It’s fascinating to see their minds change as their bodies also develop. Two of my daughters are bigger than I am and they almost cradle me now as I once cradled their small childish forms. But they can also hip check me in a moment so I love how gracious and sweet they are.

I remember how awkward I was at age thirteen, lanky and uncomfortable in my skin, unsure of my thoughts, struggling to fit in with kids at school, wondering who I should be and what values I should have.

I love how much more capable and confident my daughters are than I was at their age.

When my kids were very little, they were highly active and energetic. My girls went through the typical awkward stage when the were like young colts learning how to canter gracefully. Gymnastics and sports help with getting through these awkward times. They’re pretty aware of their bodies and the space they take up and I encourage my girls to expand themselves instead of shrinking as our society and the church culture seem to require. I want them to regain their confidence they seemed to have misplaced the last few years.

I read a lot of child development, cognitive psychology, and education material. I’m not an expert, but I am fascinated in learning about these topics and how I can best teach and parent my four kids.

I often use the analogy with my family that adolescent brains change from a child caterpillar brain to confused mush like a chrysalis, then to the more mature butterfly young adult brain by the time they’re 25.

Changes I’m Noticing in my Teens

Attention spans

It’s great that I can hold my girls’ attention for longer than ten minutes. I can give multi-step instructions and usually expect them to be followed and completed. Their memories are getting better. I see them focus on activities for longer periods of time, often completing projects before getting distracted or moving on to something else. I love they have the ability to train their minds by staying at home. We work, work, work, on brain health and executive function so they can do their best.

Making connections

We’re in our last 4-year cycle of history in our homeschool, beginning the rhetoric phase. Witnessing the connections and abstract thinking in my girls just brings me the greatest joy as a mother and teacher. They can think critically younger and better than I could when I was in college! I love their hard questions that we research and work through together.

Awareness of current events

I enjoy having the hard conversations with my kids and hearing what they think of what’s happening in our city, state, country, and the world. I have to be careful not to overwhelm my younger kids with the horrors of our world and continue to focus on hope and love and reconciliation. They’re starting to ask what they can do to help make our world a better place. We recycle, compost, reduce, reuse. We try with our baby steps to ease our consciences any way we can. Every little bit counts.

Expansion of strengths

After years of exposing and strewing and providing so many opportunities and experiences for my kids, they’re starting to narrow down what they’re interested in, focusing more on what they love, looking at ways to turn their passions into careers. I love seeing them grow and teach themselves. We start out generalizing their education and seeing them begin to specialize is so fun.

Ability to take criticism

My kids are so much healthier than I ever was (and still am) about constructive criticism. I try to scaffold and prime my kids when I think a situation or experience might be difficult or stressful or just very new. I want them to be aware of what to expect. I can’t always predict what might happen or what people might say or do. I can’t always be there to protect my kids. They’re growing more and more independent. Other adults and kids often aren’t as kind with their words or actions. We discuss the situation afterwards.

Maturity

I love seeing the potential in my kids. I’m getting glimpses of the adults they will soon be. They use nonviolent language (mostly) and solve problems (usually well and without my input) together. We seldom have negative or immature conflicts in our household. They have more emotional intelligence than I ever did. I’m learning so much from my kids about how to be healthy in all relationships.

Around age 12, kids undergo a big change, a crisis, in their development. They are reaching puberty and hormones make physical and mental changes in their bodies. It’s a difficult age and many kids struggle to make this change and reach the other side unscathed. Two of my girls suffer depression and anxiety. I know I sure had trouble for several years from 12-15. There seems little I can do to help my girls overcome or avoid the inner struggle. Perhaps it’s genetic or just their personalities.

Of course, tweens and teens are weebly wobbly and sometimes it seems like one step forward and three steps back.

I love being with my kids all day, every day and learning academics with them and assisting them to explore their interests. I am privileged and blessed to travel this life with my children.

During the first seven years, children work mainly out of imitation, while from ages 7-14, children work out of authority. This is why attachment is so important to develop a trusting relationship with kids.

This is also why many families experience difficulties with teens not listening. They didn’t feel attached or safe or listened to as young children, so they won’t just magically begin when they’re older. They develop their own thoughts, values, opinions, preferences. Many parents feel threatened and triggered by kids who express themselves, question authority, and other natural developmental growth.

I’m seeing my girls begin to try on new personalities and personas like actresses. They’re trying to discover who they are and who they’d like to be, what they’d like to look like. They change their hair and clothes very frequently. I try to keep up. I try to be patient and welcoming. Sometimes, it’s frustrating and since I’m pretty constant and decrepit in my boring 40s, there are bound to be clashes when I don’t realize they’ve already moved on to something new.

The Waldorf curriculum is so incredible because it is so responsive to student development. I believe all children should have access to an education that respects their development and inspires their soul. I wish I had discovered it many years ago when we began homeschooling. I try to incorporate aspects of it in our learning rhythms.

Looking back at my children when they were babies, toddlers, preschoolers, learning to read and ride bikes, it’s easy to see the milestones they reached and achieved.

My girls look like women now and I have to look twice sometimes and my heart hitches as I remember their goofiness when they were small.

Now, my teens are looking more to the future and completing high school, making friends, planning for jobs and college and careers.

I love watching them learn how to fly.

Thirteen year olds are often withdrawn physically and emotionally, can be standoffish, tends to be critical – they are protecting their budding separate thoughts and personality!

The Parenting Passageway

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High School Homeschool

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I graduated my eldest daughter from our homeschool a few years ago.

Her homeschool high school years were exciting for us all, and unique since we lived in Germany at the time.

My two middle girls are entering their high school years.

I feel a little more comfortable for our second round.

We’re adding more multicultural and social justice books to our reading lists. I am much more relaxed.

More and more, I am watching them walk away from me.

What Homeschool High School Looks Like for Us the Second Time

We’re trying to max out their academic transcripts with 4 English, 4 Social Studies, 4 Math, and 4 Science.

My girls have already completed General science, Physical science, and Biology from Apologia.

We use Tapestry of Grace for humanities with a 4-year history cycle. Tapestry of Grace offers lovely descriptions for each thread to help with transcripts.

Electives are religion, art, cooking, sports, and foreign language.

My girls are 13 and 14 this year and we homeschool year-round so we don’t have to rush.

They expect to complete all my requirements around age 16, like their older sister did. They want to get part-time jobs, volunteer, explore hobbies, perhaps pursue dual college enrollment locally until beginning college full-time. And we don’t pressure about college.

9th grade curriculum

  • Ancient world literature
  • Ancient world history
  • Ancient world geography, philosophy, government
  • Ancient religion and Bible history
  • Algebra I (Life of Fred, VideoText, OpenStax)
  • Astronomy and Microbiology from OpenStax

10th grade

  • Middle Ages world literature
  • Middle Ages world history
  • Middle Ages world geography, philosophy, government
  • Middle Ages world religion and Bible history
  • History of language – King Alfred’s English
  • Algebra II (Life of Fred, VideoText, OpenStax)
  • Chemistry (either Apologia or OpenStax)

11th grade

  • Renaissance-Industrial Revolution world literature
  • Renaissance-Industrial Revolution world history
  • Renaissance-Industrial Revolution world and US geography, philosophy, government
  • Renaissance-Industrial Revolution world religion and Bible history
  • US History from OpenStax
  • Geometry (Life of Fred, VideoText, OpenStax)
  • Physics (either Apologia or OpenStax)

12th grade

  • Modern and Contemporary world literature
  • Modern and Contemporary world history
  • Modern and Contemporary world and US geography, philosophy, government
  • Modern and Contemporary world religion and Bible history
  • US History from OpenStax
  • Trig/Calc from OpenStax
  • Psychology and/or advanced science from OpenStax

Pinterest Boards

High School Homeschool Resources:

How do you homeschool high school?

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Homeschool Schedule with Teens

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Life has seemed to slow down lots now that my kids are older.

When the kids were little, it seemed like I constantly ran, was perpetually exhausted.

It’s so much easier now. But sometimes, it seems so difficult too.

We protect our time and space for peace.

Each child has only one or two activities so we’re not overscheduled.

My eldest daughter is starting college and does private art lessons.

My middle daughter practices aerial gymnastics and makes jewelry.

My youngest daughter does fall soccer and art lessons.

My son does fall and spring baseball and weekly ninja classes. He’s not quite a teen yet, but he’s sure not my little boy anymore.

They’re all so independent now. Time slips through my fingers.

I try to wake up early to make a hot breakfast, clean the kitchen, start laundry, get my writing completed for the day.

Bedtime is often haphazard. There is seldom snuggling, stories, and prayers anymore. Often, we still do reading and devotions after dinner on the sofas after evenings walks and before wind down. But something definitely is lost and I miss it.

I try really hard to do tuck-ins but it’s often spurned these days. I’m often ready for bedtime and sleeptime before they are.

The best times are when we gather to listen to owls or tree frogs, watch for backyard bats, notice the moon and stars and clouds, have a heron sighting, taste a fresh tomato and herbs that we grew, go giddy over first snowflakes, rolling thunder, the smell of rain on a hot summer day, the intricacies of a perfectly formed veiny golden leaf or butterfly.

I refuse to curate perfection for social media or have a showroom house.

I refuse to give up ties to Nature.

We cycle with the seasons.

We seldom set alarm clocks. We’re not rushed. We flow.

There are some things we do year-round for continuity.

It’s just good to be flexible.

Our Schedule with Teens:

In summer, we’re at play.

We sleep late, stay up late with the sunshine.

We eat breakfast or brunch whenever we get up, usually between 8 and 9. The kids pack themselves picnic lunches and hike into the woods. We have family dinners outside on the deck if it’s cool enough.

We catch up on Netflix shows.

We enjoy observing the hummingbirds and woodpeckers and other critters that come to our backyard feeders.

The kids often swim down the street with their friend at his pool. We play with water balloons and water guns.

They go on bike rides or rollerblading.

Boredom is a good thing and sparks imagination and creativity.

We look at the night sky. We watch thunderstorms.

I want to teach them a lifetime of wonder.

In fall, we begin a new school cycle.

We read together every morning after breakfast.

They complete their lessons and have the afternoons mostly to themselves to do what they want.

We cook more with cooler weather. It’s fun trying new recipes.

We go on nature hikes to look at leaves.

Learning is a lifestyle for us, but we are more focused and scheduled in fall and winter.

Family dinners are often rushed, later, or on the go with soccer and baseball season.

We enjoy celebrating the harvest festivals. Fall is a magical time.

In winter, we’re at rest.

While the world seems to go to sleep and become dormant, we snuggle up indoors with candles and blankets.

We read more and watch educational shows.

We practice Hygge.

We still go outside on walks to look at nature changes.

We make soups and stews and bake a lot.

Family dinners are more of an event. We have the time to be more elaborate.

We celebrate feasts and festivals.

In spring, we awaken.

We stretch towards the warm sun like flowers blooming after the winter.

We’re finishing up our school lessons for the year.

We look forward to summer while we watch the world wake up and be reborn.

We greet each new bud and shade of green with awe and joy.

We’re ready for playtime again.

How does your family flow?

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Eighteen

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18.

My baby is 18 now.

An official adult.

In America, this means you can vote! and buy tobacco products (don’t). You’re still treated like a child, but expected to be mature beyond your experience.

In Europe, you could buy liquor or we could have a cocktail together in a pub.

You still don’t have your driver’s license and that’s ok. I try not to push you to do anything until you’re ready.

I know how stubborn you can be.

You’re my first baby, and I did a lot of things wrong.

I hardly felt grown myself when I had you.

I was anxious about the silly things and screwed up some important things. I was too strict in the beginning. I yelled and hit. I was childish and mean.

Then I began to understand.

You’re the reason I’ve done everything.

I pulled myself out of emotional, financial, and relationship pits for you.

We homeschooled for you.

You were my anchor.

It’s a lot of responsibility for a child’s shoulders to bear.

I have lots of regrets and apologies. I’ve tried to always be honest with you, even when I’m ashamed.

I know growing up can be scary. I know there are so many difficult decisions. Sometimes, I get scared for you. It seems that life throws lots of curveballs within just a few years and it seems like you have to make all the right decisions superfast or you will fail miserably. I feel anxiety but you have to learn and make your own way. If I catch you all the time, you won’t be able to march on. Comparing yourself to others makes it worse. I know it seems like others have it made and it looks so easy for them. I know it’s lonely. Even if you make a wrong decision (like I made so, so many), you will still eventually succeed. Your success might look different than you imagine. You can always make amends, changes, u-turns. Hearts heal. You can change your major. You can get a different job. Relationships come and go.

Life hurts.

You are resilient and strong.

I am so proud of you.

What I pray for you now that you’re spreading your wings:

Voice

I love that you know who you are. I am just figuring that out for myself.

I’m learning to listen better.

I love that you’re assertive and have opinions, even when we disagree.

I love who you are as a big sister. Thank you for caring so much.

I admire your wit.

Be careful on social media.

Be kind.

Maintain integrity in everything.

Use your voice to lift up others and make a difference. I believe you can change the world for better.

Self-Care

Learn what your body needs for health.

Yes, it really does help to go outside and enjoy nature – in every kind of weather.

Drink lots of water. It helps flush out toxins and makes you feel better. Honest.

Eat well and regularly. It regulates your metabolism. You will thank me when you’re 35.

Take time for yourself to heal and recover. But make sure you get back out there.

Safety

I still worry.

I still want to know where you are and who you’re with.

I will always be concerned.

I hope you never have to utilize those skills you learned in that 2-hour self-defense class.

I know I can’t keep you safe like I could when you were little, but I hope you’re always aware of your surroundings.

Finances

We’ve tried really hard to stay debt-free. We’ve had our ups and downs.

I want you to have a better beginning, with no student loan debt. No car loan.

Debt can be crippling to recover from.

Credit cards are not for regular use, but only for emergencies.

Start saving for wants and emergencies as soon as you can.

Money is a tool like any other.

I pray we’ve given you a great beginning.

“Intelligence plus character—that is the goal of true education.” ~Martin Luther King Jr.

“Now go, and make interesting mistakes, make amazing mistakes, make glorious and fantastic mistakes. Break rules. Leave the world more interesting for you being here. Make good art.” ~Neil Gaiman

While we have few milestones or coming of age rituals in the USA, I hope I made your birthdays and life events special.

This is 18 Around the World.

What seems to emerge after the trials of the fifteen/sixteen change is a calmer, more self-assured young person.  They don’t need to talk about everything anymore.  They are trying to handle things themselves in a more self-contained way than ever before.  They are preparing for their own life where they must stand on their own two feet.  Parents often are not sure how much to intervene or offer help at this stage.

The Parenting Passageway

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Teen Driving Tips

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My eldest daughter got her learners permit to drive in Ohio when she was 18.

It’s been fun teaching her the basics of driving. I’m not worried about her at all. It’s the lack of control and issues with other drivers that concerns me. This is part of growing up and being independent but it scares me so much.

She knows not to text and drive. She knows not to play the radio too loudly. She’s very cautious. She tells me some of her friends are reckless. She mentions an acquaintance who got a big ticket for texting at a red traffic light.

She knows what to do and what not to do. She moved out last year and pays her for her own insurance now.

My middle daughter turned 15 1/2 and recently took the required classroom portion of drivers education, then completed the state computerized permit test. She completes her driving portion of required drivers ed in January, after completing at least 20 hours with parents.

Every time I get behind the wheel of our minivan, I’m teaching my kids about quick decisions, defensive driving, road conditions, and who is breaking the driving rules. They’re watching me and listening and learning how to be “backseat drivers” before they ever get behind the wheel. I narrate what I do and why and I try to model good driving safety and courtesy.

I had a pretty rough time with my parents teaching me how to drive and I want to make good memories with my children, starting in empty parking lots and low traffic areas, moving to slow neighborhood roads, then city roads, onto busier streets as they get more comfortable. I want to be patient and kind and not anxious with my kids.

I still get nervous making left turns and finding a parking space in a busy lot!

Teen Driving Tips

No distractions.

It’s so dangerous to be texting or talking on phones, or even playing with the radio and air conditioner. Don’t reach down for a fallen item while driving! Even insects inside cars are a hazard. Pull over when and where it is safe to deal with distractions.

Watch speed.

Be careful about speed, especially in road conditions that are not ideal. Rain, fog, ice, snow call make it more dangerous, even at lower speeds. Knowing the average speeds for certain areas is helpful, and staying under those until a posted sign is visible is helpful. Like residential areas are often 25 MPH and city roads are usually around 35 MPH. It’s important to try not being in a hurry, so we’re not tempted to speed or be reckless when we drive to an appointment.

Defensive driving.

This really just comes with experience. The first day on the road alone, my eldest daughter got her side mirror knocked off by a hit and run driver. It’s so hard to try to notice everything in the periphery and anticipate what other drivers might do.

Emergencies.

It’s important to know what to do in case of emergency. Don’t panic! Depending on state law, pull off the road or into median lane so as not to block traffic. Check everyone for injuries. Call response authority. Call parents or guardians or loved ones. Check vehicles for damage. Take pictures of damage. Exchange contact and insurance info. Call insurance to report. Repair or replace damages.

Maintenance.

Cars don’t just go forever. They need regular check-ups just like people and pets do. Changing oil, checking and rotating tires for proper air pressure and tread, replacing windshield wipers, and more are all for safety and good upkeep.

Driver’s Ed Resources

  • Driver’s Ed Requirements by State
  • Student Driver Printable Sign
  • Student Driver Car Magnets
  • Driver Ed in a Box–complete parent/teen driver training program for both classroom and in-vehicle phases offered by Driver Education Supplies & Training. The program provides parents with educational materials and training tools necessary to train their teens to be safe, collision-free drivers.
  • Driver-ZED–Full-screen, full-motion, real-life interactive video puts you in the driver’s seat! You’ll use your eyes and brain to spot trouble before it happens. Spot all the risks and handle them right, and you’ll score a perfect 100.
  • National Driver Training Institute–Comprehensive, step-by-step curriculum will guide you through all phases of driver education and training with the goal of “creating safe drivers for life.”
  • Zutobi is built like a game so teens can earn points and compete against friends all while learning important information.  The app offers over 450 state-specific questions that are almost identical to the real test. 

*You can get discounts off insurance or tax credits for driving courses and good grades.

Some driving statistics:

According to the University of Colorado-Colorado Springs survey, for every 100 students using NDTI’s parent-taught driver education program:

  • 8 were ticketed for speeding,
  • 8 were involved in accidents,
  • 6 were injured in automobile accidents,
  • 1 was ticketed for driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs, and
  • there were no fatalities.

With teens obtaining driver’s licenses during the summer more than any other season and an average of six teens dying every day from motor vehicle injuries, the personal-finance website WalletHub today released its report on 2018’s Best & Worst States for Teen Drivers.

In order to determine the safest and least costly driving environments for U.S. teenagers, WalletHub compared the 50 states based on 23 key metrics. The data set ranges from number of teen driver fatalities to average cost of car repairs to presence of impaired-driving laws.

 Best States for Teen Drivers Worst States for Teen Drivers
 1New York 41Arizona
 2Washington 42Alabama
 3Maryland 43Mississippi
 4Illinois 44Idaho
 5Delaware 45North Dakota
 6Louisiana 46Nebraska
 7Oregon 47Missouri
 8California 48Montana
 9Hawaii 49South Dakota
 10Texas 50Wyoming

Best vs. Worst

  • Vermont has the fewest teen driver fatalities per 100,000 teens, 1.83, which is 10.5 times fewer than in Wyoming, the state with the most at 19.30.
  • Nebraska has the lowest share of major roads in poor condition, 5.00 percent, which is 8.8 times lower than in Connecticut, the state with the highest at 44.00 percent.
  • Hawaii has the lowest premium increase after adding a teen driver to a parent’s auto-insurance policy, 8.10 percent, which is 18.9 times lower than in Rhode Island, the state with the highest at 152.70 percent.
  • Alaska has the fewest vehicle miles traveled per capita, 6,826, which is 2.4 times fewer than in Wyoming, the state with the most at 16,457.

Please view the full report and your state’s rank here.

It’s important to have conversations with our older kids, teens, and young adults about driving safety.

I feel confident in my teens to drive safely when they pull out of our driveway alone for the first time. They take a piece of my heart and so many prayers with them!

How did you learn to drive as a teen? How do you teach your teens to drive?

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How Teens Can Spend Summer

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School’s out and summer’s here.

Most teens are in limbo between childhood and adulthood…they might want to just hole up in their rooms and spend all their time on social media.

There are plenty of opportunities for teens to continue learning, get job training, and have fun during summer.

Here’s a list of the top ten ways that teens can spend time this summer:

Explore the Great Outdoors

With flourishing trees and fully blossomed flowers, it’s arguable that nature reaches its peak in the summer.  Getting outside and exploring its beauty is best done by taking the time to walk through and embrace it. You can even make a multi-day adventure out of hiking by pitching a tent with a few friends or family. Camping is an excellent way to take advantage of the cool summer nights and maximize your time enjoying the country’s wildlife. From dazzling beaches to soaring mountains, dense forests to vast plains, the U.S. is full of beauty calling for you to explore. The National Park Service has some handy resources for locating parks and trails near you.

Escape the Heat and Take a Dip

In most areas of the country, the weather is only suitable for swimming for a short period of time. Take advantage of the warmth and sunshine by going for a dip in the oceans, rivers, lakes, swimming pools, water parks or whatever you have access to in your area. There is nothing more refreshing than wading in the water on a hot summer day. With so many public access points at most bodies of water, there is no reason not to visit the thousands of water-spots in the country.

Become an Expert on History and Culture

Museums act as a window into places separated by time and location. They provide the tools to educate people on the history of our predecessors and the world’s intercultural development through the ages. From instructive science exhibits to experiential art displays, museums have a lot to offer for those with an open mind and a will to learn. Make a day trip to a local museum or plan a vacation around seeing multiple exhibits across the country. If you’re on a tight budget, do not fret. There are loads of free museums just a google search away. Check out National Geographic’s list of 20 free U.S. museums that are worth checking out.

Witness the World’s Wildlife

America is home to some of the best zoos and aquariums in the world. When looking into visiting a zoo or aquarium, you must consider the quality of the establishment. It is no secret that sometimes these institutions do not uphold the best treatment for animals. Despite the negligent ones, there are several zoos that do a great job caring for their animals. Read more about how to identify a good zoo.

Once you weed out the bad zoos and aquariums in your own research, there is an immense amount that society can take away from the high quality ones. They help conserve the extensive list of species at risk of becoming extinct, provide an outlet for scientists and animal-life experts to conduct research, and educate the public about our planet’s wildlife. Something to note is that if you research different zoos and aquariums in advance, you will most likely find some limited edition exhibits that pique your interest, so start planning today.

Earn Some Cash and Build Your Resume

With all of the spare time in the summer, getting a part-time job can never hurt. Whether you are saving up for college or earning some money to help fund your summer excursions, it is no doubt that the three-month break from school is a wonderful opportunity to earn some extra cash.  Aside from the financial aspect of getting a job, it is never too early to start gaining work experience. There is something to learn from any job you have, no matter how simple it may seem. Some examples of part-time jobs good for high school students include lifeguarding, working as a cashier, host/hostessing at a restaurant, or being a camp counselor.

If you already have a pretty firm grasp on what you want to study in your post-secondary studies, the summer is perfect for seeking opportunities such as internships or specialty camps that provide insight into your desired field of study. When looking for a job later down the line, it may be beneficial to prove to the potential employer that you had an early interest in the field and have several years of experience. Even if you are unsure of your interest, these programs can give you an idea of whether or not it is a profession that you would like to further consider.

Declutter and Dispose with a Garage Sale

Summer break is a time for not only cleansing your mind but for purging unused or unwanted possessions. Whether you’re going off to college in the fall or simply need a fresh start, garage and yard sales are a great way for you to declutter your living space and get rid of those belongings that you haven’t touched in years.

If you’re having trouble getting this project rolling, let the thought of earning a few extra dollars motivate you. All you have to do to start is throw open your attic door, have two boxes labeled “Keep” and “Sell,” and get to sorting. Pick a day that works for you and list your yard sale in the appropriate classified sections of both Craigslist and your local newspaper. People won’t know you’re selling all this great stuff if you don’t advertise the event. Whatever you don’t sell, you can donate to local charities or even friends and family.

Explore Yourself through Self Expression

Ever have a hairstyle or cool outfit you wanted to sport? With three months away from your peers and teachers, it’s your time to explore yourself without fear of judgement. Summer is the perfect opportunity for you to test out new ways of expressing yourself and find out just what it is you have to offer the world. This doesn’t stop at your appearance. With your spare time, you can sign up for a dance class, learn an instrument, stylize your room, join a sports team and so much more. Live your best life this summer and have fun finding yourself.

Visit Places Only Your Imagination Can Take You

During the year, it can be difficult to read for leisure when you’re constantly bombarded with reading assignments at school. This summer, take the time to read something for yourself without any deadlines or papers in the mix. You might be surprised where your imagination takes you and what you can learn from a good book. If you don’t know how to find the right book for you, join a local reading club or check TIME’s list of 100 best books for young adults.

Have Fun on the Fairgrounds

Carnival rides and fair food are the pinnacle of American culture. Each summer, people travel from surrounding towns to go to the nearest fairgrounds and come together for a celebration of life. If you’re on social media, you most likely have seen ferris wheels and funnel cake flood your Instagram feed when the season rolls around. The truth is, it’s usually as fun as the pictures suggest. Many of these fairs offer petting zoos, games, rides and other festivities perfect for a day of fun with your family, friends, or romantic interest. Look up county and state fairs that are happening near you and start planning your visit today.

Put Others Before Yourself

Don’t feel bad if you’re spending your summer focusing on yourself, but if you have the time, you can do some work for others. Completing community service leaves you with a feeling of fulfillment and a sense of achievement. You can always log your hours and add the experience to your resume. If you’re a college-bound teen, volunteering your time is a great way to stand out to college admissions counselors and show them your quality of character. Read more about why volunteering is a key component in the college admissions process.

The opportunities are endless when it comes to deciding how to spend your summer. No matter how you choose to spend it, the important part is that you have fun and stay safe. Be proactive and make the most of your time this summer.

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Learning to Let Go

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With a new year comes evaluation, changes, praise, regret, resolution.

Perhaps these are amplified for the homeschool mom. I sure feel the weight of responsibility on my shoulders constantly.

And even more so for the homeschool mom of a teenager.

Teens have a way of putting you in your place, don’t they?

We’ve spent the last few years tapering back, evaluating priorities, setting goals, discussing plans for success.

It’s time to simplify.

Several years ago, my daughter was fired from her piano lessons. Her teacher just called me and gave me no notice that lessons would not continue. Nice. Apparently, theory workbook hadn’t been completed in a month and practicing had been scarce to none. She needed to cut her client list and my daughter was at the top of that list. Ouch.

Way to feel inferior as a mom.

I should’ve been checking and encouraging, nagging about practicing and the homework, right?

But it’s not my piano lesson.

It’s her responsibility.

While reviewing curriculum for the blog is a blessing for our family, it also causes upheaval for a time to see if this or that is a good fit or is fun or works better than that other one. Often, changing mid stride is necessary if something doesn’t work. Sometimes it’s hard to make the call. Is it too difficult? Is the child just being stubborn? Does it not fit our learning or teaching style? I’ve struggled over the years with making changes and wasting time and money on curriculum that doesn’t work for us. But it’s also great to have the freedom to choose what works best for us. We seldom do reviews now and we’ve settled into a good routine.

Homeschooling and having my four children home with me all the time gives me a better glimpse into their needs, desires, personalities, preferences. I have a better idea of how to guide them since I’m with them all the time and see the dynamics of their interactions.

It’s my job to be proactive and recognize when their needs change and how I should adapt. It’s a constant dance of doubt and wonder. I read and research and pray that I’m not messing all this up too much.

As children grow up, relationships and responsibilities change.

I’m still set on mothering toddlers, young children, tweens…and suddenly, I’m stuck with this woman-girl and I’m at a loss as to what to do with her.

Me, who had no qualms as a high school English teacher, standing toe to toe with burly high school football players and telling them what for.

This girl with her flashing eyes undoes me.

I expect more from a 17-year-old than an 11-year-old than a 3-year-old. Yes, it sucks to not be able to play all the time.

Being a responsible citizen is sometimes tiresome and I would rather lie around and read novels than do dishes, laundry, or pay bills. It’s my job to be positive and proactive and teach my teen daughter these things are better done quickly and cheerfully. Work before play.

I must lead by example.

My attitude matters.

There are difficult years parenting teens when I doubted everything.

I’ve learned that my eldest daughter gets rather run down without one on one time with me. She needs to be away from her younger siblings to recharge once in a while. I need to be intentional about making this happen more. She’s very social but gets easily overwhelmed.

My middle girl needs lots of exercise and outside time to blow off steam and she gets very tired in the evenings, so we try to get book work finished early.

My youngest girl is a free spirit and it’s heartwarming to watch her explore and create.

My son is so compassionate and thoughtful of others and I pray that is never compromised by this cruel world.

It will be proactive to help our household be more stable too in any way I can. Despite moving every few years. Despite deployments. Despite illnesses. Despite the deaths of pets.

I’ve watched the kids blossom and grow and become so independent, but they still ask what I think, what should she do.

My eldest just began college and got a part-time job!

It’s a delicate balance, this granting little freedoms with open hands – while they still think that freedom is something I can grant them.

While wanting to clench the fingers into tight fists.

All the while, praying.

My eldest has an iron will. I know it will serve her well in the future, but it hurts so much sometimes.

Resources:

  • Jesus, the Gentle Parent: Gentle Christian Parenting by L.R. Knost 
  • Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers by Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Maté  
  • Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood by Lisa Damour, Ph.D. 
  • Hands Free Mama: A Guide to Putting Down the Phone, Burning the To-Do List, and Letting Go of Perfection to Grasp What Really Matters! by Rachel Macy Stafford  
  • Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason by Alfie Kohn 
  • Free to Learn: Why Unleashing the Instinct to Play Will Make Our Children Happier, More Self-Reliant, and Better Students for Life by Peter Gray 
  • The Danish Way of Parenting: What the Happiest People in the World Know About Raising Confident, Capable Kids by Jessica Joelle Alexander  
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5 Best Life Skills Books for Teens

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We try to prepare our kids for the world. We get through all the academics. We take them to sports, dance, music lessons, chess club. We do the field trips. Sometimes, it seems like certain skills slip through the cracks.

Life skills are important. I don’t want my kids let loose in the world without some proper basics.

Sometimes, books are the best teacher. Sure, you can learn really everything on YouTube and other Internet sites, but having some reference material is always a good idea.

These make great graduation gifts too!

My top five life skills books for teens:

  1. A Good Cookbook

    My suggestion: Better Homes and Gardens New Cook Book

    Since 1930, home cooks have turned to Better Homes and Gardens New Cook Book for guidance in the kitchen. This new edition includes more than 1,200 recipes, 1,000 color photos, and more tips and how-to information than ever. Teens and young adults need to know more than how to make a box of mac and cheese! I still have my grandmother’s copy!

  2. An Etiquette Book

    My suggestion: How Rude!: The Teen Guide to Good Manners, Proper Behavior, and Not Grossing People Out by Alex J. Packer

    In 480 pages, this edition describes the basics of polite behavior in all kinds of situations at home, in school, online, and in the world. I grew up with Emily Post and Miss Manners. This approach might be more interesting!

  3. A Leadership Book

    My suggestion: What I Wish I Knew at 18: Life Lessons for the Road Ahead by Dennis Trittin

    The book is organized into nine powerful chapters and 109 life success pointers that build leadership skills and prepare readers for key upcoming life decisions. Through stories and instruction, it helps young people develop a healthy life perspective, model strong character, build and sustain new relationships, overcome adversity, and become productive and wise decision makers. Also, it shares powerful strategies to succeed in college, career, family, and finances. This is just a great leadership book with words of wisdom.

  4. A Health Book

    My suggestions for GIRLS:

    Cycle Savvy: The Smart Teen’s Guide to the Mysteries of Her Body by Toni Weschler

    Answers that will help you understand what is really happening with your body on a day-to-day basis. It’s the first book specifically designed to teach young women about the practical benefits of charting their cycles. Explore the fascinating world of ovulation, fertility, and why you even have periods at all! And learn all about the body signals, mood changes, and other signs that accompany your cycle. This book was recommended to us by a doula friend of mine and it is wonderful!

    Girling Up: How to Be Strong, Smart and Spectacular by Mayim Bialik

    Growing up as a girl in today’s world is no easy task. Juggling family, friends, romantic relationships, social interests and school…sometimes it feels like you might need to be a superhero to get through it all! But really, all you need is little information.

    Want to know why your stomach does a flip-flop when you run into your crush in the hallway? Or how the food you put in your body now will affect you in the future? What about the best ways to stop freaking out about your next math test?

    Using scientific facts, personal anecdotes, and wisdom gained from the world around us, Mayim Bialik, the star of The Big Bang Theory, shares what she has learned from her life and her many years studying neuroscience to tell you how you grow from a girl to a woman biologically, psychologically and sociologically.

    And as an added bonus, Girling Up is chock-full of charts, graphs and illustrations — all designed in a soft gray to set them apart from the main text and make them easy to find and read.

    Want to be strong? Want to be smart? Want to be spectacular? You can! Start by reading this book.

    My suggestion for BOYS (reader recommendation!): Lintball Leo’s Not-So-Stupid Questions About Your Body by Walt Larimore, MD 

    “Everything a boy should know, but won’t ask!” Finally, everything you wanted to know about your body, but you’ve just been too chicken to ask. This is the first book for boys that gives honest answers to real questions about your body from a biblical perspective. No, you’re not falling apart—you’re just growing up! But there’s no need to fear, when Lintball Leo is near. He’s your personal guide to understanding your body. With information about everything from steroid use to body parts, there’s not a question Lintball Leo hasn’t heard. These aren’t questions some adult made up, but they’re real questions asked by real boys just like you. You want to know the truth? Now you can, because Lintball Leo’s Not–So-Stupid Questions About Your Body gives you the facts—no holds barred! I plan to get this for my son real soon.

    Another reader recommendation for boys:

    Guy Stuff: The Body Book for Boys by Cara Natterson

    This book will provide you with the answers that will help you take care of yourself better, from hair care to healthy eating, bad breath to shaving, acne to voice changes, and everything in between. With tips, how-tos, and facts from a real pediatrician, it’s the perfect book to help you learn about your body’s changes.

    Boying Up: How to Be Brave, Bold and Brilliant by Mayim Bialik

    Why does my voice crack like that? What should I eat to build muscle? How do I talk to someone I have a crush on? What do I do if someone calls me names or bullies me?

    Growing from a boy to a man is no easy task. Bodies are changing, social circles are evolving, hair is appearing in places it never was before — and on top of it all, there’s the ever-present pressure to conform to the typical idea of what it means to be “manly” and masculine. But it’s easier to do if you’re armed with facts.

    Using personal anecdotes as an overly observant mother of two boys and plenty of scientific information from her life as a neuroscientist, Mayim Bialik, PhD, star of The Big Bang Theory, talks directly to teen boys about what it means to grow from a boy to a man biologically, psychologically, and sociologically. Using the same cool, fun, and friendly tone that she took in Girling Up, Mayim takes boys–and their parents!–through the challenges and triumphs of Boying Up today.

    In six sections (How Boys Bodies Work; How Boys Grow; How Boys Learn; How Boys Cope; How Boys Love; and How Boys Make a Difference), she takes a look at what it means for boys to come of age in today’s world, how can they take control of their paths, and what can they do to help shape the types of futures they want for themselves.

  5. An Organization Book

    My suggestion: Smart but Scattered Teens: The “Executive Skills” Program for Helping Teens Reach Their Potential by Richard Guare, Peg Dawson, Colin Guare

    This positive guide provides a science-based program for promoting teens’ independence by building their executive skills–the fundamental brain-based abilities needed to get organized, stay focused, and control impulses and emotions. It’s great to work through together! This book is helpful to set up organization methods for teens to be independent.

Bonus Book:

Girls Garage: How to Use Any Tool, Tackle Any Project, and Build the World You Want to See by Emily Pilloton

Do you have any other favorite books for teens or life skills?

You might also like:

How to Prepare for After High School
Beauty and Makeup Unit Study
All High School Homeschool Posts

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