Jennifer Lambert

A Sacred Balance

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Achievable Goals

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Everybody is making resolutions and choosing their one word for the new year.

I’m inside, trying to stay warm with temps in the single digits. Sure, the last couple years have been pretty hard-hitting.

Overall, I felt like I was pretty successful in the personal growth department.

It’s easy to get overwhelmed with resolutions that seem great now, but aren’t very achievable, then getting discouraged as it all fizzles out.

It’s important to make small goals that are actually attainable.

Instead of doing less of something, let’s discuss what we can do more.

Achievable Goals

  1. Get more sleep.

    Go to bed earlier. Turn off the electronic devices an hour before bedtime. Don’t lie in bed and use your devices (at least turn the blu light off). It helps with overall better health. I’ve been going to bed along with the kids and I feel better lately.

  2. Be adventurous.

    Go on a trip. Be more spontaneous. Try a new dish at the restaurant. Meet someone new. Call up someone you haven’t talked to in ages. Adventure means something different for everyone.

  3. Manage money wisely.

    Pay off debt, but don’t go broke doing that. Start adding a little into savings or put change in a jar. Make coffee and lunches at home instead of grabbing on the go. Start investing and planning for retirement or kids’ educations. Do you know how to budget?

  4. Minimize your closet.

    Donate what you haven’t worn in a year. Don’t keep what you don’t love. Find your style and color scheme. Update with some new classic accessories or timeless pieces. Minimizing reduces anxiety.

  5. Positive talk

    Reframe negative situations. Look for the positive details in your experiences and conversations and focus on those positive details. Also, focus on what you can do rather than what you can’t do.

  6. Use sunscreen.

    Protect your skin. Use a good natural sunscreen and cover up or go into shade during the prime sun times of the day.

  7. Purge

    Who needs more printables? Decluttering is good for the soul. Minimize your stuff. If you need containers to organize your stuff, you have too much stuff.

  8. Eating healthier

    Eat balanced and in moderation, mostly plants.
    Diets are so restrictive. Use smaller plates. Stock up on new seasonal veggies. Try new recipes every week. Drink green tea. Drink more water.

  9. Fitness

    You don’t have to waste time and money on a gym membership. Baby steps. There’s always room for improvement. Lift some small weights. Do some sit-ups. Do some pilates on the floor. Walk around the block. There are oodles of free YouTube videos to help get started with at home fitness routines.

  10. Read.

    There are so many books and so little time.
    Need some ideas?

  11. Respect

    Seriously, do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
    This goes for parenting too. Respect your kids. Have empathy. Don’t give ultimatums. Don’t use force. Don’t raise your voice or your hands.

  12. Get angry.

    There’s so much wrong in the world.
    So many -isms. All these government issues. So many hurting people. Poverty. Hatred. War.
    What are you doing to help?

What are your achievable goals?

 

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No Resolutions

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I’m really not into making New Year’s resolutions.

I felt in the past that I just set myself up for failure.

I don’t feel I need to make any drastic changes for improvement. Of course, there is always room for improvement, but I don’t need an overhaul or anything.

I don’t need any challenges for my health, weight, reading, happiness, or faith.

I don’t need a one word to live by. I’m a Christian and I don’t need any Eastern mysticism or New Age mantra.

I don’t need a gimmick to post online, to show anyone that I’m anything.

I don’t need a fancy expensive planner with stickers and colored pens. I don’t need a Bible coloring book. I would never use those.

I don’t need affirmation from strangers that I’m on the right track.

I just carry on.

I frequently set small goals that are attainable – all throughout the year.

What I do year-round:

I already read at least one book each week, in addition to multiple read alouds with my children. We don’t read fluff or self-deprecating pseudo-Christian self-help garbage. We read classic literature, the Bible, well-written non-fiction on a variety of subjects, and occasionally popular contemporary fiction.

We enjoy music and art, visiting museums often. We create and learn, listen and observe.

I read the Bible, write scripture, and pray every day. My children do a Bible study together every morning. We as a family have devotions every evening before bed.

I exercise almost daily for 30 minutes or more.

We all eat mostly natural whole foods. We all cook together and it’s fun to try new recipes. We’re incorporating more plant-based recipes into our repertoire.

We take vitamins, use a happy lamp, and try to go outside daily to stave off depression and winter blues.

We’re well on our way to being debt-free! Our only debt is a car payment and one low-interest loan.

What I’m not doing:

I realize I can’t change the world. While there are probably many great charitable organizations, we choose not to support any at this time. I realize this is an unpopular view and makes me seem callous, but I can’t justify spending time and money where I see so little change or good. I won’t share hearts on Facebook or dump ice water on myself. I’m not going to throw out all my clothes that might not be sustainable and only wear whatever the trend is this week to support whomever. Too many people have the “look at me!” addiction for all they do for whatever cause.

I focus on respecting my children. “Even if we fight against racial injustice, even if we fight for world peace, even if we fight for a sustainable world, if we are using our power over the children in our lives, we are perpetuating injustice and oppression. We are setting children up to accept a world that is based on the more powerful controlling the less powerful.” Teresa Graham Brett

Worrying what others think. I just don’t have any time for this. Moderators may delete my comments and posts from online groups. I may get hateful comments on my blog posts. I may be ridiculed by family or at church or in our local homeschool community for my personal views and parenting style. I’m secure in myself and I don’t need the approval of others. People may be rude or thoughtless, but I am responsible for my reactions.

I limit my screentime and social media use because of how negative it makes me feel. I don’t need any comparisons to feel less-than. I won’t shame or embarrass my children or cats or husband online or in public. I ask their permission before posting anything about them online. I watched Broken Mirror on Netflix recently. Technology is a tool. Social media should not be a way of life. It’s artificial and I prefer reality.


What are you doing this year?

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Setting and Keeping Goals

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With the new year, come all these resolutions that seem almost impossible to keep for more than a week or month or so.

It’s overwhelming and frustrating.

Like we need another reminder of failure, right?

We all have room for improvement.

Whether it’s more exercise, eating healthier, to stop saying bad words, eating at home more, stopping smoking, losing weight, reading our Bibles regularly, or budgeting better, whatever {your goal is here}.

Don’t go crazy and set like thirty goals. Don’t set yourself up to fail. Start with one, or five, or ten. Go slowly and complete one goal at a time.

No matter what your goals might be, here is an action plan to keep those resolutions through to completion.

1. Set a realistic, specific, measurable goal.

Instead of just saying “eating healthier,” state your goal very specifically.

“I will:

  • limit my sugar intake
  • get up earlier to make and eat a protein-rich breakfast
  • eat an extra serving or fruits and vegetables each day”

This is absolutely achievable. It is specific. It can be measured.

2. Write your goal down.

For real. You need to think it, read it, say it, learn it. Internalize that goal. Make it your own.

Write your goal down:

  • in your planner or calendar
  • on your dream board
  • in your prayer journal
  • on the bathroom mirror.

Write your goal down and place it somewhere you will see it regularly and often to remind you.

3. Tell a friend.

We all need accountability.

Ask someone to help you stay on track lovingly. Ask her to pray for you and help you during those times when you want to quit. Text her when you’ve reached a milestone or have her set up a reminder to check up on you weekly.

4. Set reasonable milestones.

Remember, goals should be measurable. But be realistic with your abilities to change. It’s difficult to stay motivated and harder to get out of a rut of bad habits.

Don’t expect to lose 50 pounds in a month. That’s not healthy or actionable.

Just like all the experts say not to weigh yourself every day so you don’t get discouraged.

Set reasonable stepping stones. Take each day at a time. Set weekly or monthly check-ins.

5. Celebrate and don’t beat yourself up.

We all have bad days. We forget. We get distracted. We lose hope. We get busy.

We eat that double chip mocha fudge almond ice cream sundae with whipped cream, chocolate drizzle, sprinkles, chopped nuts, and a raspberry on top. And we love it. Until the tummyache later.

Tomorrow is another day. Start over the next morning. Clean slate. Forgive yourself and move on.

But when you hit a milestone? Celebrate like crazy! Praise God! Call your friends and family to rejoice with you.

Send me a message and I will squeal like a teenage fangirl.

We set personal goals. I set goals for our family and homeschool to achieve each year.

What are your goals this year?

 


Linking up: Happy and Blessed Home, The Jenny Evolution

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5 Money Tips

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We all want to be considered wise and knowledgeable.

Sometimes, we can’t think straight when it comes to managing our money.

Are you good stewards of what the Lord provides you? Are you training your children to be good stewards? Are you leaving them a legacy?

Through skillful and godly Wisdom is a house (a life, a home, a family) built, and by understanding it is established [on a sound and good foundation],

And by knowledge shall its chambers [of every area] be filled with all precious and pleasant riches.

Proverbs 24:3-4 AMP

Debt is a harsh master.

Are you a victim of our culture’s lies about money?

More, more, more.

Are you trying to fill a hole in your soul with more stuff?

Only God can fill you up and teach you to be content. And help you achieve freedom from debt.

  

5 Money Tips

1. Pay Cash.

This seems like a no-brainer, but it’s really hard.

We have credit cards. We have a debit card. We have ATM fees. We have a spending plan. I use an Excel spreadsheet. We have debt. Back to square one.

We just need to quit buying stuff.  Just quit charging! Cut up those cards or put them in a big bag of water in the freezer. By the time it takes to unfreeze, you’ll have thought better of that purchase.

Don’t store your card numbers on websites – like Amazon. It’s too convenient.

Studies show that paying cash makes you really think about those purchases rather than swiping that plastic.

Live within your means. It might be shocking at first and there’s a steep learning curve, but you’ll get used to it.

Are you a debt slave?

Are you trying to fill a hole in your soul with more stuff? Only God can fill you up and teach you to be content. And help you achieve debt freedom.

The Bible says you’re a slave if you have debt.

Now, I know most of us don’t consider car loans and mortgages debt. Not many can pay cash for cars or houses.

Set your own goals. Our goals are to use no credit cards nor have any unsecured debt.

I know some people who forbid debt in their lives in totality. What freedom that must be!

The poor are ruled by the rich,
and those who borrow
are slaves of moneylenders.

Proverbs 22:7 CEV

Owe no man anything, save to love one another: for he that loveth his neighbor hath fulfilled the law.

Roman 13:8 ASV

2. Evaluate where you can save money.

Do you need to add energy savers to your home? Paying a little upfront to seal door cracks or upgrade windows or add insulation could save you lots in the future.

Can you bike to work? Can you live with one vehicle? Can you combine errands to only go out once a week to save on fuel?

Keep your cars maintained so they don’t end up costing more when things break.

Buy second hand items when you need something.

Can you grow a garden to save on groceries? Can you get paid to recycle in your state? Get a water filter and reusable bottles instead of purchasing plastic bottles of water.

Can you make your own cleaners? Can you replace paper and single use plastic products with reusable ones?

Set up a healthy menu and plan meals at home (we love eMeals!) instead of eating out.

Cancel those catalog and magazine subscriptions. Unsubscribe to store emails and alerts and texts. If the temptation isn’t there…

Subscribe to emails that list free apps and Kindle eBooks. Use your local library instead of purchasing the latest novel. The list is endless and it all depends on your comfort level. 

If you’re a homeschooler, there are oodles of options for free and frugal curriculum. 

Are you one of those pampered people who buys a latte at the coffee shop every day? Do you get mani pedis regularly? I’m not saying to stop caring for yourself, but you must set priorities. Treat yourself less frequently perhaps. I wish I had all that money back from when I wasted so much!

pamper-yourself-at-home.png

Do you go out for happy hour with friends periodically?

You can do all that at home for so much cheaper. Make life more meaningful and save money. Rotate homes every week or month. It’s easier for parents too.

backyard-cocktail-hour.png

The Bible says that God will provide all our needs.

Make sure you evaluate your needs vs. your wants.

I know. Sometimes I need chocolate too. Don’t starve yourself of treats or you’ll binge. Just be careful and frugal and set priorities. Communicate with your family.

3. Rethink gift giving.

Simplify.

We don’t throw huge birthday parties for our kids. We celebrate at home with a special meal and decorate frugally.

For Christmas and birthdays and other gift-giving holidays, we prefer experiential gifts to more stuff.

If you have family members who don’t understand or agree, look into group giving exchanges like a charity or memberships to museums.

Cards are pretty and thoughtful, but they’re just expensive clutter. Send eCards instead.

Shop thrift stores. Make your own decorations and invite the kids to help to make it more festive!

Teach a spirit of giving to others. You can give services or time instead of things.

If you give stuff, check out this shopping schedule and plan accordingly.

What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?

Mark 8:36 NIV

4. Educate yourself.

My husband and I come from very different money backgrounds.

His parents didn’t discuss money with their kids. At all. When they passed on during our first year of marriage, it was confusing and stressful to work out their affairs.

My parents were always very open with me about money. They are very organized. They have file folders for each account in a strong box with all the info so it’s easy to access in an emergency. My name is on the accounts to make my life easier when they pass so I won’t have to pay unnecessary taxes. They explained the process of banking and loans to me all my life. I attended their professional financial meetings so I could listen and ask questions. I so appreciate that practical education. They helped me buy cars – and my first house when I was in my 20s. I know what they’re worth and how they got there. They are very conservative, but they live very comfortably in retirement.

It’s an uncomfortable conversation for many.

Do you know how much you’re worth? Do you have investments? Are you utilizing the best options for saving towards retirement? Do you have enough insurance? What would happen in an emergency? Do you have enough in savings? Do you understand interest rates, CDs, money markets, savings bonds? Do you have parents or loved ones with whom you need to discuss finances? Will you or your siblings be responsible for caring for elderly parents? Are there funds in place for that?

Are you planning for your and your kids’ futures?

Read the Parable of the Talents. Which son do you relate to and why?

financial-goals.png

5. Be proactive.

Have a family notebook or protected computer file with all your information in case of an emergency.

We have IRAs. We have mutual funds.

We have 529s and CDs for our four kids. All the kids have life insurance and savings accounts.

We educate the kids about money and where it comes from and how banks work. I explain the dangers of credit cards. I want them to know the differences between debit and credit.

My teen has a checking account and a check card through USAA.

We know we receive an inheritance from Aaron’s aunt at certain intervals, dividends from Aaron’s mom’s IRA every September, when my parents pass on.

Consider your financial goals.

Are you prepared for your kids’ higher education? What is your vision for that?

Are you planning for retirement? What do you want retirement to look like?

Do you have extended medical needs? Look into flexible spending or separate savings accounts for that. Check into alternative medicine. Prevention is better than treatment sometimes.

Be sure you know the condition of your flocks,
give careful attention to your herds;
for riches do not endure forever…

Proverbs 27: 23-24a NIV

Money Resources:

Courtship Topics. These discussion topics (especially about money!) are great to discuss, even years after you’ve married. We weren’t on the same page at all in many areas nor did we even know! If you and your spouse don’t have the same financial goals, it will be almost impossible to get anywhere together. Finances are always an area of conflict in marriage.

Crown Ministries. I used to teach a Sunday school class for single moms on finances using these materials. They have some great tools for families.

The Money Couple. Take a money personality quiz to find out what you really think about money use. Discuss with your spouse.

Dave Ramsey. You either love him or hate him. I actually refuse to purchase his materials or pay for his course on principle. I know many who have achieved financial freedom through his teachings. I just think he capitalizes and profits off people’s ignorance and weakness. Judge for yourself.

USAA. Or your local bank or credit union. They have great teen resources to get your kids started out right in the financial world. We like our one stop shopping since we move around so frequently with the military.

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Homeschool Frugally:

Plans are established by seeking advice;
so if you wage war, obtain guidance.

Proverbs 20:18 NIV

Wage war on that debt!

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Figuring it Out…

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I recently had a birthday.

You know, those things that make you reflect on the past and future and the present. I am not ashamed to say that I am 36 years old. I am proud of every wrinkle and blemish in my history (and on my body) that got me here.

God makes all things work together for good, right? All those broken roads led me to where I am right now. That was my wedding song. 

So, I’ve been making some small changes lately.

Some people have questioned me: am I going through a mid-life crisis or something?

I think they are just improvements, or something to the effect of becoming the butterfly I was meant to be.

I am not changing who I am. I am just finally figuring it out.

I recently dyed my hair reddish blonde.

Part of that is because my husband commented that he liked a woman’s hair color in a restaurant a few weeks ago.

He rarely compliments me, so I think that’s the insecurity still peeking through. But I’ve always loved red hair and mine was in sore need of a change. I used to have gorgeous blonde highlights, but I haven’t colored my hair in about three years. It sure needed something. I think I could even go a brighter red next time. That first step was the hardest. I can be daring now!

I’ve been trying to exercise and run and eat less and better.

I’ve lost several pounds!

I think what it is, is that I’m finally starting to feel comfortable with myself. I know I have room to improve and I am taking steps toward who I want to be.

I’m just now starting to feel good about myself after so many years of struggling with…everything. Education? Work? Marriage? Children? Appearance? Spiritual life? Social life? Pulled in so many directions…I often feel like a failure at so much.

I want my kids to look back and remember their mom as a happy and healthy and beautiful lady.

I want to have energy to play with them and make memories. I want to teach them healthy habits. I want them to be independent adults. I have a whole post knocking around about how I finally feel like a (sorta) successful homeschool mom. Just recently started feeling comfortable with wrangling four kids through an educational experience day in and day out.

The other day, I took the kids to the park. I ran with Tori and Katie. I encourage the kids to play outside often, at least daily. We like to eat. We like to cook. We make our own breads, including pizza and English muffins. We make some awesome ice cream, y’all. We can smoke some amazing BBQ. We love soup. We all eat together as a family every day; usually the kids and I have breakfast and lunch together and dad joins us for dinner. Dad’s on duty on weekends! I require everyone to try a little of everything that is served, even if it’s just a tiny bite. I love vegetables and I serve at least two for dinner, and salad almost every night. Fruit is offered for breakfast and lunch. We eat lots of yogurt. It was one of Alex’s first words.

As for spiritual matters, I began reading through the Bible using a 7 day reading plan at New Year’s and I have stuck with it! I’ve gotten behind a few days here and there, but I’ve always caught up and I am on track! I usually read right before bed because that’s when it’s quiet and it helps me wind down for the night. I sure sleep better after I’ve read God’s Word. For the kiddos, we’re currently reviewing a Bible curriculum that I’m pretty excited about. I’ll be posting on that later this month. We needed something more hands on and that included something for all the kids’ levels.

I’m really trying to change my spending habits.

I admit it. I like stuff. But I shop for clothes mostly at thrift and consignment stores. I have cleaned house this last week while Aaron was out of town on business. I donated 5 bags of stuff and sold 4 bags of stuff to consignment, along with several large baby items we no longer need.

I am downsizing the kids’ clothes and toys. Once they outgrow the clothing they have, we’re being very selective in what we purchase. We’re slowly pulling ourselves out of debt. I am trying to differentiate between needs and wants. I want a lot. I know some people who have virtually nothing in their homes. I wonder if they’re happier or just too busy to care. Being home all the time, I want choices. I know we have too many choices.

I sure plan to remove distractions when we move next time. Baby and toddler and preschool items will no longer be needed and we sure have too much of all that. Don’t touch my books. Don’t talk to me about my kitchen tools. I need every. single. one.

So, happy birthday to me.

No crisis. Just improvement. I have a 5k to train for so I can run with the girls on their 2.5k!

 
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New Year Resolutions

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My New Year Resolutions

I’m keeping it simple.

  1. I vow to eat healthier, starting…today. I need to lose that baby weight! Seriously, my kid is almost 2! I have about 15 pounds or so that need to get gone. The kids only want peanut butter, chicken nuggets, and corn…that’s not working out so well for me. I’ll have to eat something better, separately from the kids, maybe during Alex’s naptime. (btw, I do provide fruits and veggies for the kids and not always chicken nuggets and corn!)
  2. I vow to drink lots more water. Not that big into soda, so that’s not a temptation, but I LOVE LOVE LOVE sweet tea. All that sugar is killing me, y’all. I also put way too much sugar in my morning coffee. Baby steps, people, baby steps.
  3. I should eat breakfast. Sugary coffee doesn’t quite count, I’m told.
  4. I need to exercise. I actually went to the gym last week {gasp!} I seriously would use an elliptical machine if we had one and somewhere to put the thing, like in front of the TV. When is Wii Fit coming out with one? I’ve been trying to do some yoga, ballet, Pilates stuff in the mornings.
  5. Intentional homeschooling and intentional blogging to keep me accountable. I have organized so much! I’m also using more Montessori materials with Alex, Katie, and Tori. I need to file papers more efficiently and promptly.

So, how’s it going so far, you ask?

Breakfast, nah. 2ish cuppas of coffee with less sugar than usual. I did pretty well with the breakfast thing last week. Not so much this morning. The Bubba didn’t help so much, getting up at 5 (%#&*@) AM. That’s at least an hour TOO EARLY. With the aforementioned 0530 wakeup call, the Bubba witnessed said attempts at exercise, and giggled at me! The nerve of that boy! Homeschooling and organizing: It’s always a process. I’ve done well to work closely with Alex and the girls in the mornings this last week…and not get as easily distracted by unimportant stuff like laundry and cooking and the cat puking on the front door rug.

So here is lunch.

I drank 2 glasses of water .
Berry walnut spinach salad:
Guilty pleasure of Brianna’s dressing. I could just drink this stuff, but I was good and just drizzled a tiny bit…
 
Found some leftover steamed veggies and pasta in the fridge…
Sautéed some onions, peppers, and mushrooms in olive oil.
Added some pesto sauce and parmesan cheese. Oh my!
 
Voilà!
 
Snacktime! (with more water.)
Dinner will be baked ginger rice and balsamic chicken thighs.

It’s a recipe from Not Your Mother’s Casseroles (NYM Series). yummy! And more water. yay.

Baby steps…

What are your New Year Resolutions?

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