My teen daughter probably would be labeled all sorts of letters if she attended school. We prefer to manage any potential issues without medication.

Liz is often difficult when she wants to be.  Most days, we get along well — with only a few squinty stares as she weighs a decision whether to obey.

What Does Stubborn Look Like?

I often struggle to successfully motivate and teach her while remaining unemotional and objective. I do know that she sometimes feels triumphant when I lose it over not being able to “control” her. She knows how to push all the buttons.

She is stubborn. Like, sit at the table for three hours, staring at one math page, refusing to pick up a pencil, stubborn.

Nothing we say or do seems to matter at these times.

Changing Behavior

My husband gets increasingly frustrated with not making any progress in prompting Liz to cooperate.

He finally turned to our oil table on a particularly difficult Saturday morning when we had hoped to have Liz quickly complete some school work before we all head outdoors for some fun. And she decided to be stubborn.

We had just ordered a Potential blend in our monthly essential oil shipment. We had purchased a Humble blend after testing it and liking it – and and we had used it before with great success.

He took both those bottles and dripped some of each into his palm and anointed her head.

Humble Blend + Potential Blend + Progesterone =

Obedience in a Bottle

While we don’t prescribe to blind obedience in our parenting methods, we do sometimes have to take more drastic measures to communicate to our children our desires, or override their potential poor choices. We have to coach and teach and model self-control. When stubbornness and stand-offs occur, we often take a step back to evaluate and look to natural methods like essential oils or massage to help ease the situation.

The Effects

Within a few minutes, Liz had gotten dressed, become amazingly more agreeable, and was working diligently on her math assignment.

We stood back in awe.

She completed her math more cheerfully than ever before. The rest of the day, she was compliant and good-natured.

It was really weird, y’all.

Natural Progesterone

We have encouraged Liz for several months to use a natural, plant-based Progesterone before bed. Our daughter does not use this regularly. We understand that hormone therapy is very sensitive stuff. She uses only a drop or two a couple evenings each month.

The Progesterone has helped to maintain balance with her changing hormones. We saw improvement in her mood steadily with essential oil use. Super helpful during this tumultuous time of being a fourteen-year-old girl!

I also like to use the Progesterone for a few days out of every month. I recognize when my body needs it now.

We also got labs completed to rule out any physical issues. Her vitamin D and iron levels were extremely low. Her cortisol levels were also very low, but the doctors assure us she will grow out of that. We upped the supplements and changed her diet and got a happy funshine lamp. Within a few months, her mood is much more even and she doesn’t feel so tired anymore. The endocrinologist visits were very helpful to rule out any issues, problems, and set our minds at ease. We all eat whole foods, so diet is not an issue.

We do not recommend playing with hormones without professional guidance.

My husband and I are quite amazed by how quickly the oils help us with all sorts of situations. While we use the oils frequently and for various reasons, we are constantly surprised by new methods and successes.

Why did these particular oils help?

We Need to Learn Humility

What is in the Humble essential oil blend?

• Rosewood (Aniba rosaeodora)
• Ylang Ylang (Cananga odorata)
• Geranium (Pelargonium graveolens)
• Melissa (Melissa officinalis)
• Frankincense (Boswellia carteri)
• Spikenard (Nardostachys jatamansi)
• Myrrh (Commiphora myrrha)
• Rose (Rosa damascena)
• Neroli (Citrus aurantium)

If My people, who are called by My name, shall humble themselves, pray, seek, crave, and require of necessity My face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven, forgive their sin, and heal their land. 2 Chronicles 7:14 AMP

We Need to Reach Our Potential

What will you find in the Potential essential oil blend?

• Cypress (Callitrus intratropica)
• Ylang ylang (Cananga odorata)
• Cedarwood (Cedrus atlantica)
• Tansy (Tanacetum annuum)
• Fir (Abies concolor)
• Galbanum (Ferula gummosa)
• Frankincense (Boswellia carteri)
• Sandalwood (Santalum album)
• Lavender (Lavandula angustifolia)
• Cinnamon (Cinnamomum verum)
• Rose (Rosa damascena)
• Spruce (Picea mariana)
• Geranium (Pelargonium graveolens)
• Jasmine (jasminum officinale)

Essential Oils can be Effective Parenting Tools

These essential oils (among many others!) are great parenting tools.

We hesitate to use the word obedience, but sometimes, we do want to firmly guide kids in a certain direction while keeping communication open and modeling self-control.

We encourage our children to work through their fleshly and sinful natures and to practice better behaviors, to develop self-control. We pray and discuss the behaviors that honor God and that we desire them to exhibit as they grow to adulthood. We don’t use rewards or punishments. We expect intrinsic motivation.

Essential oils are great tools to help us encourage the desired character we want exhibited in our children. I love that we can use oils, combined with prayer and the Word of God,  to help us achieve our family goals.

We try to focus on respectful parenting. We don’t use punishments and rewards. We don’t bully, coerce, or physically restrain our kids. We use our words calmly and reason with our children about expectations, needs, and desires. We listen. We explain. We teach and coach. There are occasional battles of wills and it’s not about winning. It’s about communication and relationship. Love is more important than getting one’s way. We have to shift our focus and figure out what’s really important. Some issues are non-negotiable.

Check out my favorite resource list here!

And the following are also valuable tools when used respectfully with kids:

• We Choose Virtues
• Virtue Training Bible
• Child Training Bible

Also see my Parenting and Leadership Pinterest boards.

Linking up: Blooming Homestead, The 36th Avenue, Mind Body Sole