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Learning to Let Go

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August 29, 2017 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

With a new year comes evaluation, changes, praise, regret, resolution.

Perhaps these are amplified for the homeschool mom. I sure feel the weight of responsibility on my shoulders constantly.

And even more so for the homeschool mom of a teenager.

Teens have a way of putting you in your place, don’t they?

We’ve spent the last few years tapering back, evaluating priorities, setting goals, discussing plans for success.

It’s time to simplify.

Several years ago, my daughter was fired from her piano lessons. Her teacher just called me and gave me no notice that lessons would not continue. Nice. Apparently, theory workbook hadn’t been completed in a month and practicing had been scarce to none. She needed to cut her client list and my daughter was at the top of that list. Ouch.

Way to feel inferior as a mom.

I should’ve been checking and encouraging, nagging about practicing and the homework, right?

But it’s not my piano lesson.

It’s her responsibility.

While reviewing curriculum for the blog is a blessing for our family, it also causes upheaval for a time to see if this or that is a good fit or is fun or works better than that other one. Often, changing mid stride is necessary if something doesn’t work. Sometimes it’s hard to make the call. Is it too difficult? Is the child just being stubborn? Does it not fit our learning or teaching style? I’ve struggled over the years with making changes and wasting time and money on curriculum that doesn’t work for us. But it’s also great to have the freedom to choose what works best for us. We seldom do reviews now and we’ve settled into a good routine.

Homeschooling and having my four children home with me all the time gives me a better glimpse into their needs, desires, personalities, preferences. I have a better idea of how to guide them since I’m with them all the time and see the dynamics of their interactions.

It’s my job to be proactive and recognize when their needs change and how I should adapt. It’s a constant dance of doubt and wonder. I read and research and pray that I’m not messing all this up too much.

As children grow up, relationships and responsibilities change.

I’m still set on mothering toddlers, young children, tweens…and suddenly, I’m stuck with this woman-girl and I’m at a loss as to what to do with her.

Me, who had no qualms as a high school English teacher, standing toe to toe with burly high school football players and telling them what for.

This girl with her flashing eyes undoes me.

I expect more from a 17-year-old than an 11-year-old than a 3-year-old. Yes, it sucks to not be able to play all the time.

Being a responsible citizen is sometimes tiresome and I would rather lie around and read novels than do dishes, laundry, or pay bills. It’s my job to be positive and proactive and teach my teen daughter these things are better done quickly and cheerfully. Work before play.

I must lead by example.

My attitude matters.

There are difficult years parenting teens when I doubted everything.

I’ve learned that my eldest daughter gets rather run down without one on one time with me. She needs to be away from her younger siblings to recharge once in a while. I need to be intentional about making this happen more. She’s very social but gets easily overwhelmed.

My middle girl needs lots of exercise and outside time to blow off steam and she gets very tired in the evenings, so we try to get book work finished early.

My youngest girl is a free spirit and it’s heartwarming to watch her explore and create.

My son is so compassionate and thoughtful of others and I pray that is never compromised by this cruel world.

It will be proactive to help our household be more stable too in any way I can. Despite moving every few years. Despite deployments. Despite illnesses. Despite the deaths of pets.

I’ve watched the kids blossom and grow and become so independent, but they still ask what I think, what should she do.

My eldest just began college and got a part-time job!

It’s a delicate balance, this granting little freedoms with open hands – while they still think that freedom is something I can grant them.

While wanting to clench the fingers into tight fists.

All the while, praying.

My eldest has an iron will. I know it will serve her well in the future, but it hurts so much sometimes.

Resources:

Jesus, the Gentle Parent: Gentle Christian Parenting by L.R. Knost
Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers by Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Maté
Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood by Lisa Damour, Ph.D.
Hands Free Mama: A Guide to Putting Down the Phone, Burning the To-Do List, and Letting Go of Perfection to Grasp What Really Matters! by Rachel Macy Stafford
Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason by Alfie Kohn
Free to Learn: Why Unleashing the Instinct to Play Will Make Our Children Happier, More Self-Reliant, and Better Students for Life by Peter Gray
The Danish Way of Parenting: What the Happiest People in the World Know About Raising Confident, Capable Kids by Jessica Joelle Alexander

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Critical Tips to Acing the SAT and ACT

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April 14, 2016 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

High school students have been studying for and taking the SAT and ACT exams for years, but that doesn’t stop the same questions on how to prepare from cropping up each year. As a new set of students approach this stressful exam time they can find themselves missing important details and wondering how best to study for such a comprehensive exam.

Breaking the process down into planning stages and highlighting important key steps helps keep students on track and ensures they don’t miss a deadline or forget an important tool on the morning of the test. Start with the basics and work your way down into the important details (from what kind of pencil you need to how to study for your weakest topic). Getting a firm grasp on one step will make the rest of the decisions easier to focus on.

Decide Which Exam to Take

The SAT used to reign supreme across much of the country, but the ACT overtook it in popularity in 2012. These days most colleges are used to evaluating either exam when considering admission.

You guidance counselor should be able to help you decide which exam to take, but be sure to also check the requirements of any colleges or universities you’re applying too. Some schools have a preference and may even share the average exam score of their freshman class. This will give you a good gauge of how well you’ll need to do on the SAT or ACT to land a spot at your dream school. Some prominent schools have begun doing away with the test requirement for admission. Take the time to carefully evaluate the requirements of your top schools before deciding on your exam course of action.

Some states require all graduating high school students to take the ACT or SAT as a school exit exam (including Connecticut, Colorado, Minnesota, Michigan and Washington D.C.). In these cases, unless a university specifically requests the other exam or you feel you may do better on the other one, the decision of which test to take is easy.

Know the Important Dates

Both the SAT and ACT is offered multiple times during the year and require pre-registration. Keeping an eye on these dates not only makes sure you don’t miss your chance to take the SAT or ACT, but also gives you the advantage of choosing which date works best for you. If you take the exam during one of the earlier sessions you also have a chance to retake it if you’re not happy with your score.

The SAT is offered in October, November, December, January, March, May and June. Registration deadlines are typically about a month before the exam, however, you can register late for an additional fee.

The ACT is offered in September, October, December, February, April and June. The regular registration deadline for the ACT is also roughly a month before your chosen exam date with a select window for late registration, also requiring a fee.

If you plan on taking both the ACT and SAT select your exam dates carefully so you don’t get overwhelmed and have enough time to appropriately study for each test.

Study, study, study

More than 80% of college admission teams rank grades in college prep courses (essentially any course a college may look at) as having “considerable importance” to college acceptance, according to a survey by National Association for College Admission Counseling. SAT and ACT test scores are considerably important to 58.3% of those surveyed. Doing well in prep classes and on college admissions tests is important to college acceptance.

While you can take the SAT and ACT more than once, doing the best you can is important to getting into the college of your choice. Some universities require you to submit all SAT and ACT test scores, even if you retested to get a better score. The better you do the first time, the better you’ll look to an admissions counselor.

Investing in an ACT or SAT prep course will keep you focused on your studies and help you prepare for the material and format of the exam. If you struggle with a particular subject area, such as Algebra 2, spend extra time focusing on that topic with drill down courses, lessons and practice tests. This is particularly important if you plan on taking any SAT Subject Tests, which the College Board notes are “an additional opportunity to show colleges what you know and what you know you can do.”

Create a Day-of Checklist

The SAT and ACT organizations are extremely strict on what can and can’t be brought into testing environments. For instance, cellphones, tablets, laptops and iPods aren’t allowed into SAT testing rooms and must be turned off and out of reach when taking the ACT – so don’t plan on listening to music during the exam. If you want to keep track of time you’ll need to wear a wrist watch. If you have a smartwatch leave it at home and opt for a more traditional alternative.

To take either exam you’ll need at least two soft lead No. 2 pencils. Soft lead generally means a pencil that you have to sharpen, not a mechanical pencil. The ACT specifically prohibits mechanical pencils. You’ll also need your printed exam ticket and a valid photo ID.

Review the exact requirements the week before your exam date so you can plan according and buy or borrow any tools you might need. Once you know what you can and can’t bring, make a list and lay out everything the night before so you’re not stressed the morning of the exam.

With some careful attention and preparation, the day of the test will be a breeze.

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How to Prepare for After High School

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March 29, 2016 By Jennifer Lambert 8 Comments

When we begin our homeschooling journey, we think that high school is so far away.

Thinking about “after high school” seems silly when you’re playing patty cake with a toddler, singing ABCs with a preschooler, or teaching a 6-year-old how to read and add.

But the goals we set when our kids are young ensure our children’s success when they are adults.

How should you prepare your child for college, vocational school, or work?

How do you know your child is ready for life after homeschool?

Three important areas should be addressed for success after high school: our child’s Heart, Hands, and Head.

Humans have three areas in our bodies that are in communication with each other through the vagus nerve:

• the heart = intelligence

• the gut = intuition

• the head = intellect

Heart:

Spiritual, emotional, and psychological well-being are important for success after high school.

What is your child’s worldview and character like?

Is your child equipped with critical thinking skills? Does your child know how to handle adversity, relationships, emotions, communication? It’s important to learn how to apologize and be emotionally healthy.

Is your child able to show self-control when her peers indulge in poor behavior? Teaching self-control is probably the most important lesson children can learn.

Can your child exhibit empathy if a friend experiences a tragedy – illness, injury, death in her family, failing a course, an ugly breakup with a boyfriend? Teaching and modeling kindness is integral for a child to show compassion to others.

Hands:

Life skills are necessary for success after high school.

Life skills books are helpful, but doing makes for more lasting learning.

Most teens get a driver’s license before age 18. It’s important that young adults learn defensive driving skills. Driver’s ed is a requirement in many states for teens under age 18.

Car maintenance schedules and simple auto tasks should be taught so they don’t get taken advantage of by mechanics due to their ignorance.

We love this book: Girls Garage: How to Use Any Tool, Tackle Any Project, and Build the World You Want to See by Emily Pilloton.

Make sure your child understands finances: balancing a checkbook, the difference between a credit card and a debit or check card, avoiding debt, the basics of investing or planning for retirement, and taxes.

Cooking skills are super important. An easy way to ensure this is to include your children in meal planning, shopping, cooking, and cleaning up. Have your child practice simple cooking with help and supervision – building up to planning and preparing several simple, frugal, and healthy meals. We build recipe binders for our four kids with their favorites that they are very proud of that they will eventually take with them when they grow up and away.

Laundry care is important. Kids should learn all the washing and drying basics. Reading labels is necessary to keep clothing well maintained. Learning how to remove tough stains and make small mending repairs is helpful. We’ve even made our own laundry soap.

Housekeeping chores and home maintenance are very necessary skills. Everyone should know how to do dishes, laundry (to include ironing and mending), deep cleaning of every room, and minor handyman tasks.

Basic safety tips for real life and online are necessary. It’s more than a single conversation about sex ed. I give my kids a lot of freedom online, but we constantly discuss online safety and problematic apps.

Survival skills are a lost art. We love to go hiking and camping so my kids know how to prep fish and use a compass. What happens when the

First aid knowledge will be helpful in all sorts of situations and emergencies. Practice using a fire extinguisher and know when to use it. Also discuss kitchen fires and how to use salt or baking soda on grease. Knowing what to do in emergencies and car accidents is imperative so the child doesn’t panic. Calling authorities for help is scary and should be discussed so teens know what to expect when they’re in their first fender bender. Role playing and checklists can help.

Head:

Academics are certainly important for success in college, many technical schools, and jobs.

Here’s an unpopular thought: Academics are the smallest factor for success in life.

That being said, let’s not be lazy.

Too many homeschoolers I know seem to take the easiest way out. Parents choose a simpler, cheaper, or easier curriculum, often DVD, online, or workbook, just to check it off on the transcript. And that may be fine for some of the hoops we homeschoolers have to jump through, depending on state graduation requirements. Just don’t fear a challenge or shortchange yourself.

I’ve even known some homeschoolers who “graduated” without completing all their high school coursework. Is a ceremony and party so important that we shouldn’t have integrity?

Homeschoolers need to complete a decent course of study in the core academic areas: English, math, science, and social studies.

If a teen has his heart set on a specific career, then tailoring his high school focus towards that academic goal is wise. Look at the college or technical school requirements and make sure he completes all that – to excellence.

Electives are a great way to customize a homeschooler’s education to interests and strengths.

Many homeschoolers have the freedom to get a headstart on college courses online or at local colleges during their junior or senior year. This is a great way to gently transition into college life or to prove to a chosen university that the homeschooler can succeed at college coursework.

Liberal arts college isn’t the only option.

There are many training opportunities after high school.

Teens need career counsel to help them on their future path.

Teens need to know how to fill out applications and conduct a successful interview. Following up with thank you letters or emails are good too.

Good communication and organization skills are necessary before independence.

Ensuring our children grow up to be successful, content adults who contribute well to society is a tough job.

It requires diligence, consistency, and discipline.

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The Power of a Military Friendly College

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February 17, 2014 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

The sacrifices made by the members of the U.S. military are unparalleled, so it is good to see schools whose efforts to help those who serve in the American uniform fulfill their academic aspirations are also unparalleled. So called “military friendly colleges” are helping offset some of the burdens thrust upon military personnel due to the government shutdown. The services offered by these schools are sorely needed at this moment.

Government Shutdown

According to a report by “Real Clear Politics,” the government shut has placed education funding for military personal in peril. The report reveals that a law that was enacted prior to the partial government shutdown that has affected thousands of government workers, protected the pay of military personnel; however, the funding for educational programs for military personnel and their families was not a part of the law. The funding for educational programs and military pension funding emptied out at the end of October.

Military Friendly Colleges

Fortunately, there are military friendly schools that can help bear some of the load levied because of the shutdown. Military friendly colleges are schools that consider the challenges that military personnel face when seeking to obtain degrees. Because of the unique challenges that service members face, it can be quite a challenge to integrate college studies into an already hectic schedule. These type of schools create programs and systems that allow students who serve in the military to actively pursue their academic aspirations without interfering with current military responsibilities.

Programming Designed for Active Duty Personnel

Being on active duty in the military creates some specific challenges in maintaining a normal course of study in a school environment. For example, active duty personnel can be deployed on a moment’s notice. Military friendly colleges take these type of situations into consideration and develops programs that will allow for these situational issues.

Online and On Ground Campuses

For those who do well working at their own pace, online campuses will work exceptionally well. Studying online creates the flexibility necessary for someone actively serving in the military to engage and manage their studies.

Whether these students are looking to develop skills that will serve them once they leave active duty or they are looking to advance in their military career.

Tuition Assistance

Military friendly schools offer tuition assistance for all eligible Active Duty, National Guard and Army Reserve Soldiers. This is definitely a plus, considering the absence of funding from the government at this moment. These individuals can apply for tuition assistance online from anywhere at any time. There are even scholarship programs that are made available to those that qualify. Again, the goal is access. Military personnel can work directly with a tuition assistance counselor to ensure that they receive the necessary funding to further their education.

The shutdown has impacted a number of military centered funding programs, but hopefully military friendly schools help ease some of the burden placed on members in the military by the partial shutdown of the government.

This is a sponsored post.

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