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Celebrate Your Child During the Holidays

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Guest post by Annette Hines :

The holiday season is not an easy time when you’ve lost a child. It’s a time of year when you get together to celebrate family. And lots of things happen that accentuate that loss. You see people that you don’t normally see all year such as grandparents, aunts and uncles. You take time off work so you have more down time and time out of your daily routine to think about that loss. It’s also particularly time for celebration of children with gift giving and sweets!

In my world, it’s even more meaningful and charged with emotion because my daughter death anniversary is November 18th, so it leads off the holiday season with a bang! For me it has been six years now. Our new holiday traditions are evolving, and everybody’s new holiday journeys will be their own for sure. Also, I am not an expert and by no means am I trying to offer clinical advice. Although, in my law practice I have had the opportunity to speak with many families who have been through a loss like mine. It’s not an experience you want to share, but it is also comforting to not be alone, especially this time of year.

5 ways to remember and celebrate your child during the holidays:

1. Telling Stories of Remembrance

This is my favorite and best advice. I love love love telling stories of “remember when Elizabeth laughed so hard that the sweet potatoes came flying out of her mouth and then the dog ate them off the floor!?” Ha,Ha! Pulling out videos and photo albums can help with the memories. Some family members and friends may not have known your child that well, or at all, so this will help them enormously in both supporting you and sharing in your joys and sorrows. I love the idea that it keeps Elizabeth’s memory alive because I am always afraid of the idea that people are going to forget her and the world is going to move on without her.

2. A Celebration Meal That Includes Your Child’s Favorite Food Items

In our family, I still serve some of Elizabeth’s favorite things on certain holidays: Christmas breakfast has pancakes, and Easter will definitely have a ham. For many families, food is part of the tradition and food is love! It definitely is for us.

It also includes eating popcorn, pizza potato chips and onion dip while watching our favorite holiday movies: Christmas Vacation, and Planes, Trains and Automobiles.

3. Hanging Decorations That Your Child Made

Thank you so much to every teacher, aide and nurse who helped Elizabeth make every Christmas ornament, Mother’s Day Card and Thanksgiving Poem. I pull them out and go through them. Then I hang them throughout the house to have her close to me during the Holidays.

4. Doing For Others

During this time of sorrow – and it is always a time of sorrow for me – it really helps me to give to others. It’s a fact that getting up out of our own misery to help others can be just what we need to beat the holiday blues. Sign up to serve a holiday meal, deliver presents or warm clothes at your church or temple, or sing holiday songs at a local nursing home. Find some way to give back to your local community.

5. Self-Care is Very Important Too

Please be sure to take time for yourself as well. You may need time to be sad and grieve on your own. Be sure to seek counsel if that is in your self-care routine, get lots of sleep, exercise and eat well. The holidays can be stressful under the best of circumstances. Grief can be tricky and sneaks up on you!

Practice the art of saying no. Let someone else cook dinner for 20 people! It can be very stressful to do all that work, and as mentioned previously, seeing people that you haven’t seen all year who are naturally going to want to ask you about how you are doing. I used to get anxious for weeks before the holidays about what people were going to say or ask. And then I would be sleepless for days cooking and cleaning to get ready for the day.

It was a recipe for disaster! I was tired and sad and on edge. And of course, I would end up either being completely sad and withdrawn or blowing up at people. Not good!

This year, what is working for me is a change of scenery. My husband and I have decided to go the mountains with our puppy for a holiday getaway hiking extravaganza. I hope you find your way to both old and new traditions that work for you and your family.

Annette Hines, Esq., is the author of Butterflies and Second Chances: A Mom’s Memoir of Love and Loss. She is a powerhouse advocate for the special needs community. Not only has she founded the Special Needs Law Group of Massachusetts, PC, specializing in special needs estate planning, where special needs families compromise 80 percent of the firm’s clients, Hines brings personal experience with special needs to her practice, as the mother of two daughters, one of whom passed away from Mitochondrial disease in November 2013. This deep understanding of special needs fuels her passion for quality special needs planning and drives her dedication to the practice. For more information, please visit, https://specialneedscompanies.com/ and connect with her on Facebook, @SpecialNeedsLawGroup and listen to her podcast, Parenting Impossible – The Special Needs Survival Podcast.

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Gift Guides for Everyone

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I try to recommend items that we love and currently use or have used when my kids were little.

I do most of my shopping online. I use some neat sites to save money or get cash back.

I’ve also been saving some really cool things from our local “Buy Nothing” group for the holidays.

This year, I loved shopping for unique finds on Etsy. TikTok viral trends are exciting for my teens and we have a few of those under the tree. I always buy calendars for the upcoming year.

Gift Guides for Everyone

Book Lists

Books for Every Season

Holiday Books

Books by Topic

Amazing Amazon

What is the best present you ever received?

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Introvert Holiday Survival Guide

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The holiday decorations are for sale in stores before Halloween and Christmas music blasts everywhere on or even before November 1.

Christmas in America is all about commercialism. It’s about rushing, doing, more. I kinda hate it.

As an introvert, I really do dread the holidays. They wear me out. I try to be bright and cheery for my kids, but I really would love to hibernate from Halloween until about Mid-March. I often wake up early or go to bed late just to get some alone time.

As a military family, we’ve seldom been near family to visit over the holidays. While in a way, this relieves me of the potential stress, it also makes me feel very, very guilty.

We visited my husband’s mom at Christmas the year after we married. I was worried about her since it was her first holiday alone since his dad had passed in April. Then she passed the following April, so I’m so glad we went.

I invited my parents to visit the kids and me last Christmas while my husband was deployed. They’re getting older and I worry how many more opportunities we will have. It was actually mostly pleasant.

My kids have missed out on so much. Holidays are just the six of us. But still, it’s stressful to me.

What’s an introvert to do with all the expectations that come with the holidays?

Priority

Everyone has her favorite and least favorite aspects of holidays. What’s yours?

Discover your priority for the season.

Be mindful of what you’re doing, giving, having during the holidays.

Give to charity or volunteer. Try new recipes. Travel. Offer experiences instead of presents. Join a cookie or ornament swap.

Save money, time, and effort by forgoing card sending. It’s also more ethical and less wasteful. Send texts or social media greetings, or individual emails and online cards. Recycle or upcycle the cards you receive.

Take time to get outside in nature to unwind and think. There’s no bad weather, only bad clothing choices!

Make time for selfcare. I keep up my exercise routine and take a very hot Epsom salt bath almost every evening with chamomile or lavender tea. It really makes a difference.

The Thanksgiving holiday is rather a disappointment for me. We used to travel over the long weekend. We went to Prague and Porto and Venice. Several family members don’t even like turkey. We don’t really care about football. We certainly do not go shopping.

We’ve traveled to Chicago and Maui and Rome over Christmas. Magical!

We’ve lived in so many different places as a military family that travel was a priority until the kids asked to stay home with a Christmas tree and home-cooked dinner. But we miss it too.

Focus

Each year, I focus on something different.

We’ve traveled over holidays. That really eased up a lot of stress for me. But, it created other stresses.

Some years, I really get into the Advent readings with my family.

Other years, I decorate all out. My front yard was a zoo last year with light up animals.

We often go to a local drive-through Christmas park to look at the decorations. We really enjoy those!

We went to see The Nutcracker ballet a couple years ago.

We try new recipes during the holidays, but not on the actual day in case of disappointment for tradition.

Tradition

I realize that I’m making memories for my kids.

What are your favorite memories of the holidays? Do that for yourself and your family.

It’s all about the food for us.

While I don’t make a lot of sweets, we really do love the fancy dinners.

I roast a turkey breast for Thanksgiving. I make the most wonderful herb sausage cornbread dressing. Two of my kids don’t like turkey so much. I try to have lots of sides and maybe some ham for them.

The kids get Advent calendars. Everyone gets chocolate. My son and husband share the Star Wars Lego. This year, the kids asked for Yu-Gi-Oh! My eldest daughter gets a bath bomb or makeup calendar.

We celebrate Saint Nicholas. We do stockings for St. Nick with chocolate orange candies and small gifts. This has relieved a lot of pressure for Christmas Eve and Day.

We celebrate Hanukkah with roast beef. When Hanukkah falls mid-December instead of during Christmas week, it’s extra special because it’s like we celebrate more and longer. I seldom can do eight nights of presents, but I try to make it special with a nice family gift. We read Hanukkah stories and celebrate the Light.

We have prime rib and Irish ham for Christmas Eve and Day dinners. My third child really loves the slow roasted ham.

With twice baked potatoes. They’re a favorite!

We also look forward to ham au gratin potatoes as leftovers!

I try to purchase my children an ornament each year so they will have a starter box of their very own Christmas when they grow up.

We almost always get new winter pajamas. And lots of books. And new house slippers.

We read lots of holidays books and watch fun holiday movies every year.

We have a simple celebration for New Year’s.

Our holiday season ends after Epiphany with Candlemas.

Delegate

Trusting my kids is a huge part of sanity over the holidays.

While my husband has a panic attack when they carry his grandmother’s china dishes and my crystal butter dish to and from the dining table, I know they can handle it. They take great care with these items. And they’re just things. Someday, it will all be theirs.

My kids always wanted to help put up our artificial Christmas tree when they were very little. I think they considered it a fun puzzle with the colored branch tips.

Nowadays, I bring the big duct-taped box out of the cellar and let them have at it. They’re plenty old enough and do a great job putting it up and pulling it down to store away for another year. I stand back in awe at their methods and cooperation. My husband and I usually string the lights. We all help sort and hang the ornaments.

The kids completely decorated the front of the house during deployment. It looked like a holiday zoo! I hardly had to help at all. They were amazing.

My middle daughter is quickly becoming self-proficient in the kitchen. She’s in charge of any potato dish. She also sets the table just lovely. I never have to check the placement of a fork or wine glass with her!

My husband is in charge of the prime rib or tenderloin. My son loves cooking meats – frying, grilling, all of it. He loves thermometers! He wants to work in a butcher shop when he’s older.

Let it go

I don’t go to holiday parties.

Most of my husband’s work obligations don’t include me anyway. Our street has had an adults-only progressive dinner, but I’d rather spend time with my family than drunk overgrown frat boys and their second wives. For unavoidable events where it’s important to make an appearance, know when and how to leave as early as possible without seeming rude.

We don’t go to church anymore. I kinda miss the advent readings and candle lighting and midnight singing. Years ago, the church we attended did a fun ladies ornament exchange. But I don’t miss the stress and drama at all.

I really, really, really hate shopping, even throughout the year. It’s not hard for me to say no to shopping in November and December. I shop online all year round. I save money with cash back apps. Giving experiences is better as my kids get older.

Declutter before the presents arrive so it’s less stress. One in, one out is our flexible rule. We don’t give lots, but try to limit presents to about four with this little poem.

We do a few gifts within our immediate family. No gifts for extended family. I don’t send cards. I absolutely don’t send braggy annual newsletters, not even on social media. I don’t like receiving those humble brags either. This is all for my sanity and for ethical reasons.

Resources:

What do you want your family to remember about the holidays?

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Holiday Blues

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With the holidays upon us it’s easy for us to get caught up in the rush of it all. While we may be cooking, shopping, and enjoying holiday events, there are others, many of whom are in our very own circles, having a tougher time.

Most holiday stress and anxiety come from:

  1. Gifts
  2. Expectations
  3. Overwhelm

We can reduce our gift-giving and offer experiences or fewer things.

We can simplify our expectations and stop comparing and refuse to look at Pinterest.

We can say no to situations or things that are not priority.

5 Kinds of People Most Likely to Get the Holiday Blues and How to Help:

1. Divorced or widowed

Loss is a sad, life-changing event at any time of the year. 

However, it tends to be harder when everyone around you is joyful celebrating the holidays and you feel it’s an effort to get out of bed. 

If someone in your circles is going through a major loss and life transition, be supportive and understanding.

They are grieving and mourning and are especially sensitive around the holidays. It’s important that they feel included but don’t be offended if they choose to opt out of certain events.

Checking in and offering them the option to participate in whatever they want, when they want is a great way to help. Love them through it.

2. Entrepreneurs

The holidays could be stressful for small business owners because so much rides on the end of year.

They may be fretting over their profits (or lack thereof), the goals they didn’t reach, and the many things still to do.

They feel overwhelmed and when they are expected to shop, entertain and be present for their families, they may be short tempered and anxious.

The best way to help the busy entrepreneur is to make their life easier in any way possible. If they can’t make it to a family dinner, tell them your door is open for dessert. Oftentimes they feel guilty and obligated which only adds to their frustration.

Also consider that these worker-bees are conflicted. When they are working, they miss their families and when they are with family, they are thinking of work.

3. Caretakers

Adults who are caretakers to their chronically ill children, relatives, or elderly parents are incredibly overwhelmed and often overlooked.

As a caretaker, they always have to consider the well-being of their patient. They can’t just get up and go. 

Caretakers may feel resentful, isolated and stuck during the holidays which leads to conflicted feelings of resentment and guilt. They also believe they have to be hands on managing everything.

It’s important to lighten the caretakers load by offering support even if it means asking them how they are doing.

Be patient and ask the caretaker what they need. It could be something as simple as having food delivered to their home to free up time for other tasks.

4. Recovering addicts

Recovering from addiction is hard.  Period. 

But it’s harder when holiday festivities are filled with friends and family drinking everything from spiked eggnog to champagne. 

Understand that those in recovery from substance abuse are hyper-sensitive about being judged. They feel as if all eyes are on them and that pressure may trigger the desire to use drugs or alcohol to soothe their anxiety. When they aren’t fully recovered, they may anticipate possible “landmines” and avoid them. They may choose to stay to themselves and observe more and participate less. They might opt out of larger family gatherings that are too overwhelming.

Offer an open invitation and remind them they are welcome whenever they are ready.

Offer a safe celebration inclusive of all – with no temptation for alcohol, drugs, or gambling.

A balance of love, support, and acceptance is what they are in most need of.

5. Children of divorce

Divorce means two separate holidays at two different places and kids often feel overwhelmed having to double up.

It’s incredibly important for parents to agree civilly on where the kids are going during the holidays and all the logistical details.

Kids want to feel safe and secure. They don’t want to feel as if they are the expected to be rushed here and there because their parents chose to divorce.

It could be unsettling to younger kids and teens may isolate and rebel against any family events as they are sorting out their own emotions as they get used to a new normal.

Don’t burden kids with guilt trips or overdo it with presents to make up for the stress. Just be honest and supportive and loving.

You really want to establish a game plan for the holidays and if possible, stick to it every year.

The holidays can be a stressful time of year for many of us. It’s a time when we must be aware and extra kind to those on the fringes.

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Resources:

Quotes from Dr. Sanam Hafeez, a NYC based licensed clinical psychologist, teaching faculty member at the prestigious Columbia University Teachers College and the founder and Clinical Director of Comprehensive Consultation Psychological Services.

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Celebrating Candlemas

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I know everybody is going on and on about groundhogs, but I think Candlemas is a beautiful and meaningful holiday.

Candlemas occurs 40 days after Christmas. 

Candlemas is the most ancient of all the festivals honoring Mary.

Celebrating Candlemas

The Presentation of Jesus at the Temple is the ceremony described in the Gospel of Luke, combining the purification rite with the redemption of the firstborn:

22 And when the days of her purification according to the law of Moses were accomplished, they brought him to Jerusalem, to present him to the Lord;

23 (As it is written in the law of the Lord, Every male that openeth the womb shall be called holy to the Lord;)

24 And to offer a sacrifice according to that which is said in the law of the Lord, A pair of turtledoves, or two young pigeons.

25 And, behold, there was a man in Jerusalem, whose name was Simeon; and the same man was just and devout, waiting for the consolation of Israel: and the Holy Ghost was upon him.

26 And it was revealed unto him by the Holy Ghost, that he should not see death, before he had seen the Lord’s Christ.

27 And he came by the Spirit into the temple: and when the parents brought in the child Jesus, to do for him after the custom of the law,

28 Then took he him up in his arms, and blessed God, and said,

29 Lord, now lettest thou thy servant depart in peace, according to thy word:

30 For mine eyes have seen thy salvation,

31 Which thou hast prepared before the face of all people;

32 A light to lighten the Gentiles, and the glory of thy people Israel.

33 And Joseph and his mother marvelled at those things which were spoken of him.

34 And Simeon blessed them, and said unto Mary his mother, Behold, this child is set for the fall and rising again of many in Israel; and for a sign which shall be spoken against;

35 (Yea, a sword shall pierce through thy own soul also,) that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.

36 And there was one Anna, a prophetess, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Aser: she was of a great age, and had lived with an husband seven years from her virginity;

37 And she was a widow of about fourscore and four years, which departed not from the temple, but served God with fastings and prayers night and day.

38 And she coming in that instant gave thanks likewise unto the Lord, and spake of him to all them that looked for redemption in Jerusalem.

Luke 2:22-38

I love the Nunc Dimittis. 

There are lovely works of art and music by Bach commemorating this time.

History:

The earliest reference to specific liturgical rites surrounding the feast are by the nun Egeria, during her pilgrimage to the Holy Land (381–384).

The Emperor Justinian I, after a terrible plague, ordered a period of fasting and prayer throughout the entire Empire in 541 and thanksgiving in 542.

In Rome, the feast appears in the Gelasian Sacramentary, a manuscript collection of the seventh and eighth centuries associated with Pope Gelasius I.

The tenth-century Benedictional of St. Æthelwold, bishop of Winchester, has a formula used for blessing the candles.

It was the traditional day to remove the cattle from the hay meadows, and from the field that was to be ploughed and sown that spring.

References to it are common in later medieval and early Modern literature; Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night is recorded as having its first performance on Candlemas Day 1602.

It was one of the Scottish quarter days, at which debts were paid and law courts were in session, until a change in the law in 1991.

In Irish homes, there are many rituals revolving around welcoming St. Brigid into the home on Imbolc with candles, wheat, and milk. She was seen by Celtic Christians as the midwife of Christ and “Mary of the Gael.” In Ireland and Scotland, Brigid is the “foster mother of Jesus.”

In Poland, the feast is called Święto Matki Bożej Gromnicznej (Feast of Our Lady of Thunder). This name refers to the candles that are blessed on this day, called gromnice, since these candles are lit during thunderstorms and placed in windows to ward off storm damage.

The Western term Candlemas refers to the practice where a priest blesses candles for use throughout the year.

Some Christians observe the practice of leaving Christmas decorations up until Candlemas.

Downton Abbey

“If Candlemas Day is clear and bright,
winter will have another bite.
If Candlemas Day brings cloud and rain,
winter is gone and will not come again.”

“Down with the rosemary, and so
Down with the bays and mistletoe;
Down with the holly, ivy, all,
Wherewith ye dress’d the Christmas Hall”
~Robert Herrick (1591–1674), Ceremony upon Candlemas Eve

Moch maduinn Bhride, Thig an nimhir as an toll; Cha bhoin mise ris an nimhir, Cha bhoin an nimhir rium.
(Early on Bride’s morn, the serpent will come from the hollow I will not molest the serpent, nor will the serpent molest me)
Thig an nathair as an toll, la donn Bride Ged robh tri traighean dh’ an t-sneachd air leachd an lair.
(The serpent will come from the hollow on the brown day of Bridget Though there should be three feet of snow on the flat surface of the ground)
~Carmina Gadelica

I printed a lovely image of Mary and Jesus on tracing paper and we colored them and attached to candle holders. They look lovely!

Celebrating Candlemas:

  • Eat crêpes! Crêpes or pancakes, with their round shape and golden color reminiscent of the solar disc, refer to the return of Spring after the dark and cold of Winter.
  • Candles! Candles! Candles!
  • Make candle holders
  • Read books, especially springtime poetry
  • Take down Christmas decorations
  • Look at weather predictions for the week
  • Have a fun spring teatime and decorate the table with lilies for Mary
  • Get a head start on spring cleaning!

Resources:

Lord, now you let your servant go in peace,
your word has been fulfilled:
My own eyes have seen the salvation,
which you have prepared in the sight of every people:
a light to reveal you to the nations
and the glory of your people Israel.

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Celebrating Epiphany

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Three Kings Day or Epiphany or Twelfth Night on January 6 celebrates three events:

  1. the arrival of the Magi, or Three Wise Men, or Three Kings, in Bethlehem to see the child Jesus
  2. the baptism of Jesus
  3. Jesus’ first miracle.

In Germany and other places in Europe, chalk is used to write the initials of the three magi over the doors of churches and homes.

The letters stand for the initials of the Magi (traditionally named Caspar, Melchior, and Balthasar).

Also the phrase Christus mansionem benedicat, which translates as

“May Christ bless the house.”

In Spain, there are processions of the Three Kings through city main streets and big festivals.

In France, they eat lovely almond cake. And in New Orleans, it’s King Cake!

Read more about the extensive world traditions of Epiphany.

We were so happy to finally visit Köln/Cologne to see The Shrine of the Three Kings before we moved back to the States. It’s a beautiful cathedral.

I love this image so much from an old holiday card that I saved it:

We learn about frankincense and myrrh as we read books about the Magi. Reese’s Pieces represent gold so well!

I have our family nativity scene displayed through January 6, and have the magi travel throughout the living room until they reach the Holy Family.

May Christ Bless This House

And Yours.

Celebrating Epiphany

  • Make a King Cake or Galette des Rois
  • Read about Daniel (precursor to the Magi?)
  • Watch The Star (for little ones)
  • Watch The Star of Bethlehem (for older)
  • Put on a funny skit or play
  • Crafts
  • Read books about the Magi
  • Visit, make, or learn about the Nativity scene
  • Listen to Bach
  • Sing carols about the Wise Men (I love We Three Kings of Orient Are)

Activities:

Books:

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Celebrating Saint Lucia’s Day

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We enjoy celebrating holidays from around the world.

St. Lucia’s Day is a lovely celebration for children.

Celebrating Saint Lucia's Day

St. Lucia Day History

The celebration of St. Lucia comes from stories that were told by monks who first brought Christianity to Sweden.

December 13th was also the Winter Solstice, the shortest day of the year, in the old “Julian” calendar and a pagan festival of lights in Sweden was turned into St. Lucia’s Day.

St. Lucia’s Day is celebrated by a girl dressing in a white dress with  red sash and a wreath with candles on her head. Small children use electric candles, but from about 12 years old, real candles are often used. The crown is traditionally made of lingonberry branches which are evergreen and symbolise new life in winter.

A national Lucia is chosen in Sweden every year. Lucias visit hospitals and homes for the elderly, singing a song about St. Lucia and handing out Pepparkakor, ginger biscuits.

Boys might dress up as Stjärngossar (star boys) and small girls might be attendant Tärnor (like Lucia but without the candles).

A popular food eaten at St. Lucia’s day are Lussekatts, buns flavored with saffron and dotted with raisins which are eaten for breakfast.

St. Lucia Crafts and Activities

St. Lucia Books

What interesting holidays does your family celebrate?

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Celebrating Holidays During Deployment

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Deployment.

The HoLidAyS.

Halloween to New Years.

Can you say S-T-R-E-S-S?

The holidays get me down anyway, and doing them alone is no fun at all. If it were just me, I would forego the whole winter season completely.

I do it for the kids.

Celebrating Holidays During Deployment

October to January. It feels like so many expectations to make everything perfect, all by myself.

The kids are older now and they have a say. They like to stay home, mostly.

We don’t want potlucks with strangers. We don’t participate in events on base. We don’t know the people Dad works with at all.

We stopped going to church because it was so fake. I don’t want pity or questions. I’m healing in my solitude.

How We Celebrate the Holidays During Deployment:

Tradition

For many families and certainly for young kids, maintaining tradition is important. It offers continuity and comfort. We have certain expectations every year. Some things can be omitted or mixed up, but other things are just necessary for the holiday to feel special.

I’m an only child, so we really never did much on holidays, except with my grandmothers and they passed when I was a teenager.

My husband’s parents passed the first year we married. We’ve never celebrated holidays with family.

It was a blank slate.

We could create our own traditions!

We like to keep things simple. It keeps my stress levels down, knowing I don’t have to make everything perfect and Pinterest-worthy. We don’t do Santa. We do St. Nicholas, but they know it’s me.

For our family of six, we have several traditions.

We make and eat latkes the first night of Hanukkah, even though we’re not Jewish. We learned about Judaism in depth for homeschool church and world history and we’ve just always continued with some of the Jewish traditions.

We like to drive around, looking at Christmas lights. This is the first year in ages that we didn’t do that. I just couldn’t fit it in with the weather, kids’ schedules, and my parents visiting.

We try new recipes for cookies, muffins, cakes.

We watch certain movies during the holiday season.

New Traditions

Shopmas, er, Thanksgiving, is kind of a worthless holiday for us. We practice gratitude year-round.

My eldest doesn’t even like turkey. Only one child likes dressing/stuffing. There’s hardly a point making a lot of food for Thanksgiving that no one likes. We don’t care about or watch football. We can have pizza on Thanksgiving if we want to. I can make a mini buffet of lots of little snacks or appetizers and we can all eat what we like. We can do what we want. We can go to the movies. It doesn’t matter. No one dictates to us! Maybe it will even become a new tradition.

My son just announced that he can’t wait for Thanksgiving! He loves turkey and my homemade pie. Well, then. Guess there will be no deviating from that tradition at this time.

We don’t do Black Friday or Cyber Monday. I’ve been finished with holiday shopping for weeks. We want a debt-free holiday.

We eat an awful lot of ham year-round so it’s just not special. I’m not making a prime rib without my husband here to enjoy it. We can have Chinese food, Italian, or anything we want for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day dinners! There’s a scary freedom to that.

There are some things only Dad can do or do well. So without him here, I have to mix things up.

We normally make chicken wings on New Year’s Eve, but I’m kinda scared of the deep fryer. We may have a living room picnic with a movie or even go out. Update: I did great frying chicken wings!

We can go to a movie on New Year’s Day. We usually have the traditional Southern pork, greens, and black-eyed peas for dinner.

We really like Chinese New Year and often make Asian food or go out for a special meal.

Travel

We used to travel over holidays.

The long 4-day Thanksgiving weekend offered great opportunities when we lived in Germany – and we went to Prague, Porto, and Venice. We went to Maui and Rome over Christmas.

We’ve been saving money and I don’t know if I want to venture out too far in snow or ice. I’m from Georgia.

My parents are 12 hours away by car.

My eldest works more when school is out.

I know lots of families move in with family or visit extensively to stave off the loneliness.

Presents

We are always trying to be frugal and debt-free, but I’m doing presents this year.

Yes, there is a bit of guilt that Dad’s not here and I probably spent more than I would have if he were home.

We may open some gifts during the nights of Hanukkah. We may open them all on Christmas Eve. I’m letting the kids decide but they can’t complain later.

Presents aren’t the most important part of the holidays, but they’re fun. The anticipation is exciting.

Presence

There’s only me, so I feel obligated to do all the things.

We celebrate Advent with reading and candles every evening.

We spent the cold dreary days and nights together playing board games, Wii, reading, puzzles, baking.

Sometimes the togetherness gets to be a bit much and we separate to draw, read, cook, watch Netflix, or sit with the cats.

I want to rest in the presence of Jesus during Advent.

I want to model calm presence throughout the holidays in spite of the chaos and loneliness.

Junktastic Creations

How do you celebrate holidays when your spouse is deployed?

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Blue Christmas

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I led a Longest Night Service on Winter Solstice at my church one year.

Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted. Matthew 5:4

The Longest Night Service or Blue Christmas is held on the Winter Solstice to temper the struggle with darkness and grief faced by those living with loss, separation, or illness. The service coincides with the traditional feast day for Saint Thomas the Apostle.

Jesus said, “Come unto me all you who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

And so we invite each other to this time of peaceful worship.  Flee for a while from your tasks.  Hide yourself for a little space from the turmoil of your thoughts.  Come, cast aside your burdensome cares and put aside your laborious pursuits.  Give your time to God, and rest in God for a little while.

Much of the liturgy I borrowed from a pdf I found online from Palo Cristi Presbyterian Church. I already have ideas for next year!

It was a calm, quiet, casual service. No standing, no greeting. No wishing anyone “Merry Christmas.”

The lights were dim.

About 25 people worshiped together on the longest night of the year.

Our pastor welcomed everyone.

Her husband played guitar.

Our music director played piano.

My middle daughters were acolytes and lit the altar candles.

A poem, First Coming by Madeleine L’Engle:

He did not wait till the world was ready,
till men and nations were at peace.
He came when the Heavens were unsteady,
and prisoners cried out for release.

He did not wait for the perfect time.
He came when the need was deep and great.
He dined with sinners in all their grime,
turned water into wine. He did not wait

till hearts were pure. In joy he came
to a tarnished world of sin and doubt.
To a world like ours, of anguished shame
he came, and his Light would not go out.

He came to a world which did not mesh,
to heal its tangles, shield its scorn.
In the mystery of the Word made Flesh
the Maker of the stars was born.

We cannot wait till the world is sane
to raise our songs with joyful voice,
for to share our grief, to touch our pain,
He came with Love: Rejoice! Rejoice!

HYMN: It Came Upon a Midnight Clear 

CLAIMING A PLACE OF SAFETY

One:  This night is ours.

All:  Here we find refuge from bright lights, holiday songs, celebrations, and the expectations of everyone around us.

One:  In this safe place, we can admit our pain, our loss, our fears, and no one will judge us.

All:  No one will tell us to be happy or merry.  No one will think less of us because we cannot celebrate this season.   Above all, no one will find our tears inconvenient or inappropriate.

One:  Here, we can pour our hearts out honestly and claim our own kind of meaning from this season.

All:  Here, we are welcome even if we’re cynical, even if we’re angry, even if we scoff at the mention of hope and meaning.

One:  Tonight, we can be where we are.  We do not need to hide or pretend or feel guilty, even if our grief, our pain, our anger seems ugly to the world.

All:  We can release our need to please others and be ourselves.

One:  Let us be at peace.

All:  We are safe here.  We are accepted here.  There are no demands. 

One:  Let us be sanctuary for one another.

All:  We say to each other: Lay your burdens here.  Cast your sorrows into the circle of light.  Bask in the warmth that is life.

One:  We say to each other: There is more to life than pain.  There is more to life than sorrow.  Wait for it. Watch for it. Welcome it.

This evening we confess that we are profoundly in need of God’s mercy, so let us sing “Kyrie Eleison,” the Greek words meaning “Lord, have mercy.”

SUNG CONFESSION: Kyrie Eleison

RESPONSIVE PRAYER

One:  Signs of celebration surround us.

All:  What can we celebrate?

One:  Here.  Now.  We can only celebrate and embrace this moment.  This breath.  Even if it hurts.

All:  There is breath.  There is life.  Each new moment we breathe this air, there is hope of unexpected comfort, joy, and love.

One:  We are precious.  Every breath we take is significant and a victory.  Our being and Our lives are the greatest and most irreplaceable treasure.

All:  Even when life is filled with pain, it is a miracle worthy of awe and reverence.

One:  There is a miracle to celebrate on this dark and quiet night.  It is within us.

All:  Our eyes see the stars of the night sky.  Our lips form words of comfort and truth.  Our feet carry us where we bid them.  Our backs bear our burdens until we can put them down.   Each courageous act is a triumph.

One:  We are privileged to live out our lives surrounded by everyday wonders:

All:  Trees and their dappled shade, birds and their varied songs, blue skies and changing clouds;

One:  Thunderstorms and sea breezes, mugs of hot coffee or tea, music, afternoon naps,

All:  hot baths and hot showers, good-smelling soaps,

One:  the Milky Way, and warm smiles from strangers,

All:  And every day the pale creeping dawn signals new beginning.  Each day the commonplace is miraculous.

One:  We are not alone.  Isolation is a myth and a lie.

All:  There are thousands of people, hundreds of thousands of people, who tonight are one with us in our questions and doubts. 

One:  Some are in this room.  Some we cannot see or touch.  But the human bond is there nonetheless.

All:  Hundreds of thousands of people whose simple existence makes each of us stronger,

One:  A human community where we can comfort and serve each other.

All:  Even in the face of sorrow we can find sources of hope and reasons to rejoice we can share that hope and that joy with each other. 

One:  We can put our arms around each other in unity and understanding.

All:  We are not alone. 

GATHERING HYMN: Wait for the Lord by Taizé

SCRIPTURE READINGS

Two of our church leaders and my teen daughter read these.

Luke 14:15-24: This story offers hope for those who have no one to invite them. It reminds us that in God’s divine order, no one is excluded-all are invited.

Matthew 11:28-29: When burdens get piled on top of other burdens, the load can crush us. In his promise, Jesus offers us help to carry our burdens and responsibilities.

Revelation 7:15-17: Our present world is not how God wants things to be. Those who weep now will not weep later. In this new heaven and new earth, there will be no more need for tears.

HYMN: O Come, Emmanuel #123

CANDLELIGHTING

My four children did this part so beautifully.

We light four candles tonight. We light one for our grief, one for our courage, one for our memories, and one for our love.

Reader 1: This candle represents our grief. We own the pain of losing loved ones, of dreams that go unfulfilled, of hopes that evaporate in despair.

Reader 2: This candle represents our courage. It symbolizes the courage to confront our sorrow, to comfort each other, to share our feelings honestly and openly with each other, and to dare to hope in the midst of pain.

Reader 3: This candle represents our memories. For the times we laughed together, cried together, were angry with each other or overjoyed with each other. We light this candle for the memories of caring and joy we shared together.

Reader 4: This candle represents our love. The love we have given, and the love we have received. The love that has gone unacknowledged and unfelt, and the love that has been shared in times of joy and sorrow.

Leader: You are now invited to come forward to light one of the tealight candles which represents your burdens, griefs, sorrows, all those things that make Christmas a “blue” time for you.

Leader: We now light the Christ candle, remembering that Jesus Christ is always in the center of our lives. He hears our cries, he knows our hearts and, in the midst of all our thoughts and emotions, he offers us hope and healing.

PRAYER

Comforting God, wrap us in your presence in this time of remembrance.

With these candles, help us find your light, a light that will guide us day by day, step by step, as we try to live life fully and whole.

We cherish the special ways in which we have been touched by our loved ones.

We thank you for the gift their lives have been to us. Now comfort us, encourage us, and empower us. AMEN.

HYMN: In the Bleak Midwinter

HOMILY by Jennifer Lambert

I am a failure.

I’ve failed at so many things.

I’ve failed at school, at work, as a friend, as a wife, as a mom, in my community, as a Christian.

I imagine most people can relate to failing at some point.

During the holidays, many of us feel like a failure.

All the lights, music, decorations, events, celebrations are overwhelming.

It can make one’s mouth hurt to constantly speak with such forced merriment.

I don’t have Pinterest-worthy decorations. I get overwhelmed making homemade meals and treats all season-long. I can’t buy all the gifts for all the people on my list. It’s a comparison trap, looking over my shoulder, on social media at what others are doing, making, buying that seem better, more meaningful, more memorable.

I need more time, more energy, more money.

Or I do I need to just change my expectations?

Most failure is because of failed expectations.

Mary was a failure.

Mary was pregnant before her wedding to Joseph. In any time period, that is scandalous.

Her pregnancy was unexpected. She was an unexpected bride. She lived an unexpected life.

Did Mary feel like a failure as a wife?

She delivered her firstborn son in a stable. Suddenly, unexpectedly. Was she scared? Was she disappointed at those conditions?

She later witnessed her firstborn son ridiculed, beaten, crucified, dead, buried.

Did Mary feel like a failure as a mother?

Joseph was a failure.

Joseph wanted to quietly divorce Mary when he found out she was already pregnant and he knew he wasn’t the father. Joseph followed through after the angel commanded him to take Mary as his bride anyway.

Joseph traveled to Bethlehem with a very pregnant Mary for the census. He couldn’t find a room for her to stay in, much less to give birth in.

How uncomfortable must that journey have been? I’ve had 4 traumatic birth experiences, but in a stable?

Did Joseph panic?

Did Joseph feel ashamed?

He knowingly entered into a blended family.

Did Joseph feel like a failure as a husband and stepfather?

Jesus was a failure.

Born in a stable.

Exiled to Egypt.

Living in obscurity as a carpenter.

Rising as an unexpected leader.

Nathanael claimed: “Nothing good can come out of Nazareth.”

Jesus was supposed to rescue the Jews from the Romans. He wasn’t the king they were expecting.

The Jews rejected Jesus as the Messiah. Even though He fulfilled prophecy, Jesus’ radical teachings and ways were unexpected. He shook the bureaucracy.

Then Jesus was arrested, tortured, crucified, killed, buried.

He rose from the grave, but still they struggled to understand.

Jesus was a failure because He didn’t fulfill human expectations.

And yet He loves us because we know not what we do.

Who has seen the new Star Wars movie? No spoilers, but I love this line:

Failure is our greatest learning.

We can’t avoid failure. But what do we do with it? Do we mope and wallow in the negativity, beating ourselves up, refusing to try again?

We must learn from our failures.

When we are weak, He is strong. In our failure, He is magnified and glorified.

We must realize our potential,

practice peace,

and learn our purpose.

It’s one thing for others to see your potential. It’s quite another for you to understand and see potential in yourself.

We must have courage to fail and have peace with ourselves and others. We must forgive ourselves and others. We must learn to apologize and make amends to heal relationships with others. We have to learn to let go of hurts.

Growth is painful. We must pray to realize our purpose, even if it’s unexpected. We must stop striving to be someone else, listening to those inner voices telling us we’re not good enough. Looking ahead and planning is good, but let’s not lose sight of the blessings and opportunities right in front of us, in this moment.

Being a student is enough. Being a spouse is enough. Being a parent is enough.

You are enough.

Pray with me:

May God bless us with discomfort at half-truths, easy answers, and superficial relationships, so that we will live deeply and from the heart.

May God bless us with righteous anger at injustice, oppression, and the exploitation of people, so that we will work for justice, freedom, and peace.

May God bless us with tears to shed for those in pain, so that we will reach out our hands to them and turn their pain into joy.

And may God bless us with just enough foolishness to believe that we can make a difference in this old world, so that we will do those unexpected things that others say cannot be done.

Jesus Christ is the light of the world, the light no darkness can overcome.

Stay with us, Lord, for it is evening, and the day is almost over.

Let your light scatter the darkness and illumine your people. Amen.

LORICA OF ST. PATRICK

L:  I arise today
C:  Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity
Through belief in the threeness
Through confession of the Oneness
Towards the creator.

L:  I arise today
C:  Through God’s strength to pilot me:
God’s might to uphold me,
God’s wisdom to guide me
God’s eye to look before me,
God’s ear to hear me,
God’s word to speak for me,
God’s hand to guard me,
God’s way to lie before me,
God’s host to secure me.

L:  I arise today
C:  Through the strength of Christ with his baptism,
Through the strength of his crucifixion with his burial,
Through the strength of his resurrection with his ascension
Through the strength of his descent for the Judgment of doom.

L:  Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
C:  Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
L:  Christ on my right, Christ on my left
C:  Christ where I lie, Christ where I sit, Christ where I arise
L:  Christ in the heart of everyone who thinks of me,
C:  Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
L:  Christ in every eye that sees me,
C:  Christ in every ear that hears me.

L: Salvation is of the Lord
C: Salvation is of the Lord
L:  Salvation is of Christ
C:  May thy salvation, O Lord, be ever with us.

HYMN: Silent Night #147

BLESSING

One:  Let us face the trials of a bright season with an inner calm because we know there are deeper meanings.

All:  We have looked into the pool of suffering and we have not lost all hope.  Let that knowledge strengthen us.

One:  When we are overcome with despair, let us be glad of our improbable existence and be content to wait for the next moment and the possibility it brings for unexpected joy.

All:  For a little space of time, we have laid our burdens down.  For a little space of time, we have cast our sorrows into the circle of light.  For as long as we are able, we will bask in the warmth that is life.

One:  These candles will flutter and burn out sending the room into darkness, but our hearts contain a more powerful flame.

All:  In our hearts burns life, complex and difficult, in all its uniqueness and mystery.

One:  We carry hope into the world simply by carrying on, helping others, and living our lives as best we can.

All:  Even on the darkest nights when all we can do is curl up and weep, the ember of life is in us, burning intensely.

One:  That radiance is more brilliant than any holiday decoration; it is more enduring than any loss; it is a flame worth protecting, worth fighting for.

All:  Let us nurture that warmth and life in us. 

One:  Let us go into a cold winter night and warm its air even slightly with our breath as we go.  Let us pass from this safe place, knowing that we carry sanctuary in us. 

All:  In the coolness of the night, we will walk in peace.  In the quiet of the starlight, we will walk with hope.  In the company of all life, we will do our best to love.

One:  Go forth!  Breathe in the crisp air, feel your feet upon the earth, know you are in good company.  Nurture the ember that glows inside you, for it is robust and will give you strength.

All:  So be it.  So we will go.

Do you struggle during the holidays?

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Favorite Holiday Movies

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We begin watching holiday movies around Halloween.

You know it’s not Christmas until Hans Gruber falls from Nakatomi Tower.

This list has something for everyone – kids cartoons, comedies, romance, nostalgic, endearing…and those ridiculous or action movies that just happen to take place over Christmas.

A lot of these films are in the discount bins at Walmart. Some are on Netflix or stream free or cheap on Amazon. Others, we borrow from the library. We’ve collected quite a few over the years.

50+ Best Holiday Movies:

  1. Elf

    One Christmas Eve a long time ago, a baby crawled into Santa’s bag of toys Raised as an elf. Buddy goes looking for his true place in the world–in New York City.
  2. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

    The comic misadventures of the beleaguered Griswold family continue in this latest “Vacation” outing, the third and most successful of the series.
  3. White Christmas

    Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye team up to enliven a winter resort inn. The Irving Berlin musical score sparkles with some great tunes, including the magical title track.
  4. A Christmas Story

    Ralphie wants only one thing: a Red Ryder Range 200-Shot BB gun. When he mentions it at the dinner table, his mother’s immediate reaction is that he’ll put his eye out. He then decides it’s the perfect theme for a report for his teacher, but her reaction is like his mother’s. He fantasizes about what it would be like to be Red Ryder and catch the bad guys. When the big day arrives he gets lots of presents under the tree including a lovely gift from his aunt that his mother just adores. But what about the BB gun?
  5. Home Alone

    Accidentally left behind when his parents rush off on their Christmas vacation, eight-year-old Kevin McCallister (Macaulay Culkin) embarks on a hilarious, madcap mission to defend the family home when two bumbling burglars (Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern) try to break in and find themselves tangled in Kevin s bewildering battery of booby traps!
  6. The Nativity Story

    In a story of profound faith one young woman struggles with the destiny as she is chosen to give birth to the Son of God and to become the object of salvation for billions of souls.
  7. The Star of Bethlehem
    From Producer Stephen McEveety comes an amazing documentary on the Star of Bethlehem. This presentation, has rapidly grown in popularity around the world by thousands who have seen this dramatic revelation as it explores the exciting truth of scripture and reveals the evidence for God’s existence as seen in the stars above. Presenter Rick Larson walks you through Biblical and historical clues revealing the incredible significance of this celestial event as well as the vastness of God’s creativity. Features: Produced by Stephen McEveety, Dramatic presentation on the significance of Bethlehem’s Star and its connection to the life of Christ.
  8. The Star
    Bo, a brave donkey, and all his new hilarious animal friends go on the adventure of their dreams filled with lots of laughter.
  9. The Nightmare Before Christmas

    Jack Skellington, king of Halloween Town, discovers Christmas Town, but his attempts to bring Christmas to his home cause confusion.
  10. Ernest Saves Christmas

    High-flying reindeer! Mischievous elves! Warp-speed sleigh rides! Get set for a magical dose of holiday cheer, zany season’s greetings, and spell-binding special effects in this fast-paced, heartwarming comedy hit! When Santa Claus decides to retire and pass on his magic bag of Christmas surprises to a new St. Nick, he enlists the aid of a hilarious assortment of characters, including that lovable know-it-all Ernest P. Worrell (Emmy Award-winning comedian Jim Varney)! Along the way, Santa and Ernest help a cynical teen experience the season’s spirit like never before. And that’s where the fun — and magic — begin!
  11. Gremlins

    A small town is besieged by some furry and not-so-cute little creatures after a young man ignores the warnings of a wise elder regarding their care and feeding.
  12. Planes, Trains, and Automobiles

    Steve Martin and John Candy star in John Hughes’ classic tale of holiday travel gone awry. Neal Page (Martin) is an uptight advertising executive trying to get home to Chicago for Thanksgiving. When his flight is rerouted to Wichita, he reluctantly partners with Del Griffith (Candy), a n obnoxious yet lovable salesman. Together, they embark on a cross-country adventure that includes various m odes of transportation, hilarious mishaps, and unforgettable rental car shenanigans
  13. Mixed Nuts

    Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, the only creatures stirring were a transvestite, a homicidal Santa, a serial killer, the staff of a suicide hotline and a very crazy pregnant woman.
  14. Trading Places
    The fun begins when the rich and greedy Duke Brothers wager a bet over whether born loser Valentine could become as successful as the priggish Winthorpe if circumstances were reversed.
  15. The Family Man

    Jack Campbell (Academy Award winner Nicolas Cage) is a single, wealthy Wall Street trader living the high life in New York City. All that magically changes one winter morning when he wakes up in suburban New Jersey next to Kate (Tea Leoni), the girlfriend he left 13 years ago. He’s now got two kids, he’s traded in his Ferrari for a minivan all while trying not to lose his mind. Find out what it takes for a single-minded businessman to become The Family Man in this heartwarming holiday comedy about second thoughts and second chances.
  16. Charlie Brown Christmas

    Christmastime is here. Happiness and cheer. And for Peanuts fans everywhere, it just wouldn’t be Christmas without this classic holiday delight. Christmas lights may be twinkling red and green, but Charlie Brown has the Yuletide blues. To get in the holiday spirit, he takes Lucy’s advice and directs the Christmas play. And what’s a Christmas play without a Christmas tree? But everyone makes fun of the short, spindly nevergreen Charlie Brown brings back – until the real meaning of Christmas works its magic once again
  17. Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

    Every who down in Who-ville likes Christmas a lot, but the Grinch who lived just north of Who-ville did NOT! So the cuddly as a cactus Grinch (with termites in his smile and garlic in his soul) tries to wipe out Christmas for the cheerful Who-villains, only to discover: maybe Christmas, he thought doesn’t come from as store. Maybe Christmas perhaps means a little bit more! Magnificently narrated by Boris Karloff and animated by cartoon legend Chuck Jones, it’s an award-winning Who-roast-beast-feast of a holiday classic!
  18. Joyeux Noël

    JOYEUX NOEL (Merry Christmas) tells the true-life story of the spontaneous Christmas Eve truce declared by Scottish, French and German troops in the trenches of World War I. Enemies leave their weapons behind for one night as they band together in brotherhood and forget about the brutalities of war.
  19. A Midnight Clear

    This WW2 psychological drama plays out at Christmas. US GIs hold an isolated cabin in the Ardennes against a handful of Germans cut off from their main force. Combat-weary and short of rations, both sides are determined to survive.
  20. The Muppet Christmas Carol

    Greetings, holiday movie fans and culture lovers, I am the Great Gonzo…or, as I am better known to fans of this classic motion picture – literary legend Charles Dickens. Ready to laugh, cry, sing, frolic, cavort and enjoy yourself beyond belief!? Well, you’re in luck, because this 20th Anniversary Edition of Disney’s THE MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL is guaranteed to put you in a holiday spirit that will stay with you forever – or at least until your Aunt Ruth starts complaining that nobody is eating the fruitcake she brought…again! The incredible spectacle of Kermit the Frog as Bob Cratchit, Miss Piggy as Emily Cratchit, Michael Caine as Scrooge, wonderful songs by Paul Williams, and, of course, my pal Rizzo the Rat as…well, Rizzo the Rat. A heartwarming and hilarious holiday classic, told as never before! Yule love it! Happy Holidays!
  21. A Muppet Family Christmas

    You’re invited to a zany holiday celebration, as Fozzie Bear and all of his showbiz pals head for the country to spend Christmas at Fozzie’s Mom’s farmhouse! With snow falling outside and more friends dropping by carolers from Sesame Street and visitors from Fraggle Rock something magical happens! The sparkle of the stage lights up the farmhouse as the Muppets share their gifts of music, a play, and of course Fozzie’s stand-up comedy act! When Miss Piggy arrives through sleet and snow to catch Kermit under the mistletoe the cast is complete for a warm and wonderful MUPPET FAMILY CHRISTMAS.
  22. It’s a Very Merry Muppet Christmas

    Join Kermit the Frog, Fozzie Bear, Gonzo, Miss Piggy and the entire Muppet gang in It’s a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie! ‘Tis the night before Christmas and the Muppet Theater is in danger of being torn down. When bad goes to worse, Kermit begins to believe that the world would be a better place if he had never been born. With heavenly help and hilarious send-ups of just about every holiday movie ever made, Kermit and the Muppets discover what matters most is their love for each other. Featuring a celebrity cast including David Arquette, Joan Cusack and Whoopi Goldberg plus show-stopping musical numbers like ‘Moulin Scrooge!’, this heartwarming holiday classic will bring joy to the world every Christmas season!
  23. Mickey’s Once Upon a Christmas

    Disney’s biggest stars shine in a magical, heartwarming movie sure to become a holiday classic! Mickey, Minnie, and their famous friends Goofy, Donald, Daisy, and Pluto gather to reminisce about love, magic, and surprises in three wonder-filled stories of Christmas past. In the fine tradition of Disney’s superb storytelling, Minnie and Mickey recall the year they both gave up what was most important to them for the sake of the other, making for one unforgettable Christmas. Goofy and Max retell when they experienced a series of hilarious but season-shaking events … until a visit from the real Santa made it a most magical holiday. Thinking back to when they wished Christmas was every day, Donald’s nephews Huey, Dewey, and Louie remember their dream turning into a comical catastrophe, eventually teaching them what true holiday spirit is all about. Featuring the entire cast in a finale of merry, magical Christmas songs — all the excitement of MICKEY’S ONCE UPON A CHRISTMAS is ready to unwrap for holiday family fun!
  24. Rise of the Guardians

    An epic adventure of a group of heroes with extraordinary abilities. When an evil spirit, Pitch, tries to take over the world, the immortal Guardians must join forces to protect the hopes, beliefs and the imagination of children all over.
  25. Alvin and the Chipmunks

    When down-on-his luck musician Dave Seville discovers singing trio Alvin and the Chipmunks, he seizes the opportunity to put together his songwriting skills with the ‘Munks unique talents.
  26. Babes in Toyland

    A little girl from Cincinnati is suddenly catapulted into a dream world, a fantasy town called Toyland. Populated by life-size teddy bears and puppets, Toyland seems to be a happy, cheerful community. But villainous Barnaby is scheming to turn Toyland into a nightmare and when the little girl finds out she tries to stop him.
  27. The Nutcracker

    The New York City ballet performs the Tchaikovsky-Petipa fairy tale of a girl and her doll-turned-prince.
  28. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, The Little Drummer Boy, The Miser Brothers, Frosty the Snowman…all those classics!
    The perfect way to get the Christmas season started. 4-disc gift set includes Rankin and Bass’s most beloved Christmas specials plus the Dr. Seuss Holiday classic. DISC 1: DR. SEUSS’ HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS! From animation legend Chuck Jones comes one of the best holiday cartoons of all time, adapting the Dr. Seuss story and starring Boris Karloff as the voice of you-know-Who. Also Includes: THE LEPRECHAUNS’ CHRISTMAS GOLD, PINOCCHIO’S CHRISTMAS, and THE STINGIEST MAN IN TOWN DISC 2: THE YEAR WITHOUT A SANTA CLAUS DELUXE EDITION When Santa decides to retire one Christmas, Mrs. Claus takes action. Baby New Year is missing – and a certain red-nosed reindeer leads the search. And a kind-hearted burro, mocked for his ears, takes a special journey to Bethlehem. Also Includes: RUDOLPH’S SHINY NEW YEAR and NESTOR THE LONG-EARED CHRISTMAS DONKEY DISC 3: FROSTY’S WINTER WONDERLAND Frosty’s The Snowman’s marriage is threatened by jealous Jack Frost. ‘TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS Clement Moore’s classic poem comes to charming new life. DISC 4: RUDOLPH AND FROSTY’S CHRISTMAS IN JULY The feature-length delight about what happens when a certain reindeer’s nose stops shining!
  29. Arthur Christmas

    How CAN Santa deliver billions of presents to the whole world in just one night? With an army of one million combat-style Field Elves and a vast, state-of-the-art control center under the ice of the North Pole! So how could this incredible operation have MISSED one child?! To Santa’s young son, Arthur, it threatens to end the magic of Christmas. With retired Grandsanta, a rebellious young elf, an old sleigh and some untrained reindeer, Arthur sets out in a crazy mission to deliver the last present!
  30. Saving Santa

    A lowly stable elf (Martin Freeman) must travel back in time to save Santa’s Kingdom from the evil Neville Baddington (Tim Curry).
  31. Prep & Landing

    On Christmas Eve, a high-tech team of elves from an elite unit known as “Prep & Landing” ensures homes around the world are prepared for Santa’s visit. But when two hilarious little elves face unexpected challenges and are pushed to their limits, it’ll take a great big effort to save the season. Enjoy a heartwarming holiday classic sure to make everyone’s Christmas list! BONUS: The outrageous yuletide adventures of Christmas elves Lanny and Wayne continue in this totally tinsel adventure that reminds us there’s room for everyone on the “nice” list. Santa’s stealthiest little elves must race to recover classified North Pole technology, which has fallen into the hands of a computer-hacking naughty kid, in order to stop Christmas from descending into chaos. Bring the family together for a comical adventure that puts the Ho, Ho, Ho in your holidays!
  32. The Santa Clause

    A bizarre twist of fate transforms a divorced dad into the new Santa.
  33. The Polar Express

    The Polar Express is the story of a young boy who on Christmas Eve boards a powerful magical train headed to the North Pole and Santa Claus’s home. What unfolds is a journey of self-discovery, which shows the boy that the wonder of life never fades for those who believe.
  34. Jack Frost

    Michael Keaton stars in this fantasy adventure about a man who becomes a real father to his son after returning to life. A year after his father’s death on Christmas Day, a young boy builds a snowman and dresses it with his father’s hat, scarf and gloves. That night, the boy’s wish comes true: His father returns to life–as the snowman.
  35. Jingle All the Way

    Arnold Schwarzenegger returns in a new holiday comedy as a father determined to buy his son that “must have” Christmas toy during a frantic shopping spree on Christmas Eve.
  36. Prancer

    A wounded reindeer and a precocious eight-year-old girl form an everlasting bond in this tender holiday drama about true devotion and friendship.
  37. Scrooged or any version of The Christmas Carol

    A cynically selfish TV executive gets haunted by three spirits bearing lessons on Christmas Eve.
  38. Home for the Holidays

    Claudia Larson is heading home for yet another chaotic and exasperating family Thanksgiving. But a new visitor offers some interesting possibilities. If they can duck the flying turkeys, this romance may just have a chance.
  39. Four Christmases

    One happy couple; four dysfunctional, divorced parents who all insist on celebrating with their kids; a single, well-planned, happy day quickly spins out of control in to the madcap whirlwind of Four Christmases.
  40. Christmas with the Kranks

    When their only daughter Blair leaves the family nest, Luther and Nora Krank decide to book an island cruise to beat the yuletide blues and just skip the holidays. But their decision to boycott tradition has the whole neighborhood in an uproar, and when Blair calls on Christmas Eve to announce a surprise visit with her new fiancé, the Kranks have just twelve hours to perform a miracle and pull themselves and their neighbors together to throw the best celebration ever!
  41. Love Actually

    Funny, charming and heartwarming, this delightful romantic comedy follows eight couples whose lives intersect shortly before Christmas.
  42. Bad Santa

    The baddest Santa ever comes to town with the hilarious Billy Bob Thornton, Bernie Mac, and John Ritter! Ill-mannered store Santa Willie Stokes is really a safecracker with a holiday tradition of making one big score every Christmas Eve with his clever Elf-partner-in- crime Marcus. But this year’s heist-fest could be completely foiled by a snoopy store manager, savvy mall detective, sexy Santa fan, and an innocent 8 year old misfit who thinks the intoxicated and felonious Willie is the real Santa he seeks.
  43. The Ref

    Denis Leary plays an unfortunate cat burglar, who is abandonded by his partner in the middle of a heist and is forced to take an irritating Connecticut couple (Kevin Spacey and Judy Davis) hostage. He soon finds that he got more than he bargained for when the couple’s blackmailing son and despicable in-laws step into the picture. Before long they’re driving him nuts with their petty bickering and family problems. The only way for him to survive is to be their referee and resolve their differences before he can be nabbed by the police.
  44. The Royal Tenenbaums

    Royal Tenenbaum (Gene Hackman) and his wife, Etheline (Anjelica Huston), had three children — Chas, Margot, and Richie — and then they separated. Chas (Ben Stiller) started buying real estate in his early teens and seemed to have an almost preternatural understanding of international finance. Margot (Gwyneth Paltrow) was a playwright and received a Braverman Grant of $50,000 in the ninth grade. Richie (Luke Wilson) was a junior champion tennis player and won the U.S. Nationals three years in a row. Virtually all memory of the brilliance of the young Tenenbaums was subsequently erased by two decades of betrayal, failure, and disaster.
  45. The Holiday
    In Nancy Meyers’ The Holiday, a romantic comedy from the director of Something’s Gotta Give and What Women Want, two women trade homes only to find that a change of address can change their lives. Iris is in love with a man who is about to marry another woman. Across the globe, Amanda, realizes the man she lives with has been unfaithful. Two women who have never met and live 6000 miles apart, find themselves in the exact same place. They meet online at a home exchange website and impulsively switch homes for the holiday. Iris moves into Amanda’s L.A. house in sunny California as Amanda arrives in the snow covered English countryside. Shortly after arriving at their destinations, both women find the last thing either wants or expects: a new romance. Amanda is charmed by Iris’ handsome brother Graham and Iris, with inspiration provided by legendary screenwriter Arthur, mends her heart when she meets film composer Miles.
  46. While You Were Sleeping

    The hit romantic comedy that woke everyone up to adorable Sandra Bullock. As Lucy, a lonely subway worker, she becomes smitten with a handsome stranger. But when she saves his life after he’s been mugged and fallen into a coma, his hilariously offbeat family mistakes her for his fiancee! Soon, the mix-ups escalate as Lucy fabricates a life between herself and a man she’s never met! And when Lucy falls for his charming brother the situation really gets uproarious as she’s forced to make a choice between the two!
  47. Serendipity

    Irresistible stars John Cusack and Kate Bekinsale are drawn together and take a chance on love in the critically acclaimed romantic comedy! In the course of one magical evening, Jonathan and Sara meet unexpectedly…then part without expectation when she decides they must let fate determine if they are meant to be together. Years later, they are both engaged to others but cannot give up the dream that- despite time, distance and the obstacles that conspire to keep them apart, they will one day meet again! Also starring Jeremy Piven and Molly Shannon, in a stellar supporting cast- you’re destined to agree with audiences everywhere who fell for the surprising charms of this delightful big screen romance!
  48. The Family Stone

    The Stones, a New England family, have their annual holiday gathering. The eldest son brings his girlfriend home to meet his parents, brothers and sisters. The bohemian Stones greet their visitor – a high-powered, controlling New Yorker – with a mix of awkwardness, confusion and hostility. Before the holiday is over, relationships will unravel while new ones are formed, secrets will be revealed, and the family Stone will come together through its extraordinary capacity for love.
  49. About a Boy

    Based on Nick Hornby’s best-selling novel, About A Boy is the story of a cynical, immature young man who is taught how to act like a grown-up by a little boy.
  50. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

    Based on the wildly popular J.K. Rowling’s book about a young boy who on his eleventh birthday discovers, he is the orphaned boy of two powerful wizards and has unique magical powers.
  51. Little Women

    With her husband off at war, Marmee is left alone to raise their four daughters, her Little Women. There is the spirited Jo; conservative Meg; fragile Beth; and romantic Amy. As the years pass, the sisters share some of the most cherished and painful memories of self-discovery, as Marmee and Aunt March guide them through issues of independence, romance, and virtue.
  52. Grumpy Old Men

    Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau reunite in this romantic comedy that examines the decades-old love-hate relationship between two neighbors.
  53. Better Off Dead

    After his girlfriend ditches him for a boorish ski jock, Lane decides that suicide is the only answer. However, his increasingly inept attempts bring him only more agony and embarrassment. Filled with the wildest teen nightmares, a family you can’t help but identify with and a host of wonderful comic characters.
  54. Edward Scissorhands

    An uncommonly gentle young man, who happens to have scissors for hands, falls in love with a beautiful teenage girl.
  55. Batman Returns

    Batman Caped Crusader is pitted against demented, ravenous Penguin, pitiful, orphaned, psychopathic freak and ‘power’ hungry capitalist villain, Max Shreck.
  56. Die Hard

    Bruce Willis stars as New York City Detective John McClane, newly arrived in Los Angeles to spend the Christmas holiday with his estranged wife. But as Mclane waits for his wife’s office party to break up, terrorist take control of the building. While the terrorist leader, Hans Gruber round up hostages, McClane slips away unnoticed. Armed with only a service revolver and his cunning, McClane launches his own one-man war.
  57. Lethal Weapon

    Two tough cops: one carries a lethal weapon, the other is one. Teamed as unlikely partners in a highly unusual case.
  58. Four Rooms

    Don’t miss the fun in this hilariously sexy comedy that has Antonio Banderas, Madonna, and a sizzling all-star cast checking in for laughs! It’s Ted the Bellhop’s first night on the job…and the hotel’s very unusual guests are about to place him in some outrageous predicaments.

I remember watching these movies every year with my parents and I love sharing them with my family.

What’s your favorite holiday film?

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