Celebrating St. Barbara

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December 3, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

St. Barbara is a 3rd century saint whose story is a mix of reality and legend.

She is the patron saint of armourers, artillerymen, architects, mathematicians, and miners. St. Barbara is one of the Fourteen Holy Helpers, venerated because their intercession is believed to be particularly effective against diseases. Barbara is often invoked against thunder, lightning, and fire, and all accidents arising from explosions of gunpowder.

We saw statues and little altars for St. Barbara in a German gemstone mine we visited!

Barbara’s Story

Barbara, the daughter of a rich Pagan named Dioscorus, was carefully guarded by her father who kept her locked up in a tower in order to preserve her from the outside world.

Barbara secretly became a Christian and dedicated her life to knowing the true God and making Him known to others. She chose a life of consecrated virginity. She rejected all offers of marriage.

Dioscorus allowed for Barbara to leave her tower, hoping some freedom would change her attitude. Barbara used this opportunity to meet other Christians. They taught her about the Lord Jesus, the Holy Trinity and the Church. A priest from Alexandria, disguised as a merchant, baptized Barbara into Christ and His Church.

Her father had a private bath-house built for her. The original architectural plans were for two windows to be built, but, while her father was away, Barbara advised the workers to make a third window to symbolize the Trinity.

Barbara’s bathhouse became a place full of healing power and many miracles occurred there. St. Simeon Metaphrastes even compared it to the stream of Jordan.

After Dioscorus returned, Barbara informed him she had become a Christian and would never marry. Full of rage, her father grabbed his sword and went to strike her. Before he could do so, Barbara ran off.

Her father chased after her, but was abruptly stopped when a hill blocked his way. The hill opened and hid Barbara within a crevice. Dioscorus searched and searched for his daughter, but could not find her.

Dioscorus came across two shepherds and asked them if they had seen her. The first denied, but the second betrayed Barbara. Some legends indicate that he was turned to stone and his flock was turned into locusts.

Her father took her to the provincial prefect, who ordered her to be tortured and beheaded. Dioscorus himself performed the execution and, upon his return home, was struck by lightning and reduced to ashes.

She eventually met her end via martyrdom on December 4, 267 AD.

Her symbols are flowers and breads.

Celebrations around the world

To celebrate St. Barbara’s Day, known as “Eid il-Burbara,” Christians in Jordan, Syria, and Lebanon prepare and share a dessert made from boiled wheat, rose water, cinnamon, anise and nuts. This aromatic sweet represents the wheat fields where St. Barbara hid from her father, who kept her locked in a tower because she had converted to Christianity in A.D. 235. Middle Eastern Christians believe that, before her death, St. Barbara escaped her tower prison, and freshly planted wheat fields miraculously rose up around her, concealing her path.

St. Barbara’s feast marks the beginning of the Christmas decorating season for Lebanese Christians. Lebanese families also plant wheat grains, lentils, chickpeas and other legumes with the idea that in three weeks, the sprouts will be plentiful, accenting the Nativity scene under the Christmas tree.

Some believers take cherry branches into their homes Dec. 4. If the “Barbara branch” blooms on Christmas, it is considered to bring good fortune. This custom recalls the prophesy in the Old Testament book of Isaiah: The Messiah will spring from the root of Jesse. Christians expectantly await Jesus Christ during Advent, and he will blossom or be born at Christmas.

From this tradition comes “Barbarazweig,” the German and Austrian custom of taking branches into the house Dec. 4, with hopes of a bloom on Christmas. In Central Europe, it is believed that the blooming branch signals a promise of marriage in the year ahead.

Families in the Provence region of France germinate wheat on beds of wet cotton in three separate saucers, keeping them moist throughout Advent. When the contents of the three saucers — which symbolize the three persons of the Trinity — are green, they are used to decorate the creche, usually placed under the Christmas tree.

Celebrating St. Barbara

Forced paperwhite bulbs are often displayed the first week of December. It’s hard to find cherry blossoms, so silk sprays can be displayed.

Sprout grains. Cook with grains or bake breads.

St. Barbara’s feast day is an awesome opportunity to break out some fireworks! As the patron of firework manufacturers, families can remember St. Barbara by having a fun with fireworks or firework-related entertainment like sparklers and noise makers.

We like to celebrate the rhythms of the year and slow down during the holiday season.

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Holiday Communication

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December 2, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

The kids are watching and learning how to behave based on what they observe the adults doing and saying.

During the holidays, sometimes we have to just put our differences aside and try to get along.

7 tips to self-regulate and communicate for a happier holiday season and beyond

1. Make a List and Check It Twice.

Make a list of the things your relatives, especially those on the other side of the aisle, have done for you and what they mean to you. During your holiday conversations, validate the feelings and emotions of both those you agree with and those you do not. You can say, Interesting, I hear you, that must feel hard for you. Assume and remember the best intentions of those around you. As you express your opinions, remember to focus on the kindness, compassion and respect your relatives have shown you for years, their acts of love and affection. John Gottman’s work shows that it takes 5 positive interactions to overcome one negative interaction and therefore it’s crucial to remember that what you say can damage your relationship.

2. Walk in Someone Else’s Shoes.

Step into your relatives’ shoes and try to understand their point of view. Consider What could be going on in the other person’s life? What is the other person’s situation? What do I know about their motivation, values and intentions? Don’t make assumptions about their motivations and perspective, instead listen and reflect, reserve judgement and try to hear their point of view. You might come to find insight you did not anticipate.

3. Watch Your Tone and Dismissive Comments.

Emotions often bubble up into our tone and our comments. Name-calling and zingers will not build a bridge to understanding. If your intention is to speak to your family with respect, take steps like breathing deeply and pausing before responding to ensure your tone remains neutral. Avoid using words like “always”, “never” and avoid bold statements to make a point. Make a plan in advance to respond to someone who does not follow this advice and may become aggressive to you, e.g. by saying “I really hope we can keep this conversation respectful,” or “I am hearing you becoming frustrated, let’s continue to try to understand each other.”

4. Listen.

Real active listening means you are interested and you are hearing the other person’s point of view without judgement. As you speak with your family, make eye contact and check your body language and facial expressions. Try to avoid interrupting or simply listening for your chance to jump in and speak your opinion. A good exercise in advance of the holiday is to consider what speaking compassionately looks like; it means showing interest in the other person’s feelings and opinions, being curious and listening to the person so you can relieve their suffering and be a shoulder to lean on. A way to neutralize the conversation is to use reflective listening which simply involves recapping what the person said and making empathetic comments like That must be hard, or I hear you or I am hearing that this was very painful for you.

5. Manage Emotions Rather Than Letting Them Manage You.

When you feel upset, you are flooded with emotions that often hijack your brain and affect your behavior. Be aware when you start to experience emotional flooding your body. Pay attention to your body signals, ask yourself what you typically feel in your body, stomach and face when your emotions are rising. What do you feel like when you are angry but in control, anxious, and what do you feel like when you are losing control? Do you get flushed, feel a stomach ache, maybe tingle in your arms and legs? By breathing in and out, pausing before speaking, chewing slowly and mindfully, placing your feet on the ground and noticing how your legs feels and grounding yourself, you can help to use mindfulness to manage your emotions.

6. Don’t Try to Change Anyone’s Mind.

Holidays are not for influencing or changing someone’s mind and the conversation is not meant to be a showstopper full of uncomfortable topics. Don’t try to educate or change someone’s mind. There is no need to cajole, shame, scold, coerce or try to change the mind of your family members. Instead, take the time together to ask questions to better understand their side of things; you can decide how you feel about it once the visit is over and you have some physical and emotional distance.

7. Return to common ground.

There are often areas where you agree or where you have a mutual fondness, even if you have to reach as far back as a shared favorite movie or family memory. Reconnect with that touchstone when you need to. That can only come with listening, really hearing the perspective of another person and trying to support another.

The seemingly inevitable family feuds endemic to “the most wonderful time of the year” can be avoided by self-regulating and communicating, says social skills coach Caroline Maguire, PCC, M.Ed., who has taught thousands of people of all ages to cultivate good relationships and communicate.

Maguire says empathy and kindness are becoming lost arts, so she teaches self-regulation: how to manage your body, mind and emotions in pursuit of a goal, which allows you to resist impulses, control your words and actions, calm yourself when you are upset, hold back a comment and resist using your fists instead of your words.

It is the ability to remember your intention to be kind and then manage what you say and do so you follow through on that intention. It is an essential skill in all aspects of life and people with the ability to self-regulate are happier and achieve more of their goals.

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Gift Guides

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November 28, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

I try to recommend items that we love and currently use or have used when my kids were little.

Gift Guides for Everyone

Book Lists

Books for Every Season

Holiday Books

Books by Topic

Amazing Amazon

What is the best present you ever received?

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Introvert Holiday Survival Guide

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November 25, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert 10 Comments

The decorations are for sale in stores before Halloween and Christmas music blasts everywhere on or even before November 1.

Christmas in America is all about commercialism. It’s about rushing, doing, more. I kinda hate it.

As an introvert, I really do dread the holidays. They wear me out. I try to be bright and cheery for my kids, but I really would love to hibernate from Halloween until about Mid-March. I often wake up early or go to bed late just to get some alone time.

As a military family, we’ve seldom been near family to visit over the holidays. While in a way, this relieves me of the potential stress, it also makes me feel very, very guilty.

We visited my husband’s mom at Christmas the year after we married. I was worried about her since it was her first holiday alone since his dad had passed in April. Then she passed the following April, so I’m so glad we went.

I invited my parents to visit the kids and me last Christmas while my husband was deployed. They’re getting older and I worry how many more opportunities we will have. It was actually mostly pleasant.

What’s an introvert to do with all the expectations that come with the holidays?

Priority

Everyone has her favorite and least favorite aspects of holidays. What’s yours?

Discover your priority for the season.

Be mindful of what you’re doing, giving, having during the holidays.

Give to charity or volunteer. Try new recipes. Travel. Offer experiences instead of presents. Join a cookie or ornament swap.

Save money, time, and effort by forgoing card sending. It’s also more ethical and less wasteful. Send texts or social media greetings, or individual emails and online cards.

Take time to get outside in nature to unwind and think. There’s no bad weather, only bad clothing choices!

Make time for selfcare. I take a very hot Epsom salt bath almost every evening with chamomile or lavender tea. It really makes a difference.

The Thanksgiving holiday is rather a disappointment for me. We used to travel over the long weekend. We went to Prague and Porto and Venice.

We’ve traveled to Chicago and Maui and Rome over Christmas.

We’ve lived in so many different places as a military family that travel was a priority until the kids asked to stay home with a Christmas tree and home-cooked dinner.

Focus

Each year, I focus on something different.

We’ve traveled over holidays. That really eased up a lot of stress for me.

Some years, I really get into the Advent readings with my family.

Other years, I decorate all out. My front yard was a zoo last year with light up animals.

We often go to a local drive-through Christmas park to look at the decorations.

We went to see The Nutcracker ballet a couple years ago.

We try new recipes during the holidays, but not on the actual day in case of disappointment for tradition.

Tradition

I realize that I’m making memories for my kids.

What are your favorite memories of the holidays? Do that for yourself and your family.

It’s all about the food for us.

While I don’t make a lot of sweets, we really do love the fancy dinners.

I roast a turkey breast for Thanksgiving. I make the most wonderful herb sausage cornbread dressing. Two of my kids don’t like turkey so much. What is up with that?!

The kids get Advent calendars. Everyone gets chocolate. My son and husband share the Star Wars Lego. This year, the kids asked for Yu-Gi-Oh! My teen gets a bath bomb or makeup one.

We celebrate Saint Nicholas. We do stockings for St. Nick with chocolate orange candies and small gifts. This has relieved a lot of pressure for Christmas Eve and Day.

We celebrate Hanukkah with roast beef. When Hanukkah falls mid-December instead of during Christmas week, it’s extra special because it’s like we celebrate more and longer. I seldom can do eight nights of presents, but I try to make it special with a nice family gift.

We have prime rib and Irish ham for Christmas. My youngest daughter really loves the slow roasted ham.

With twice baked potatoes. They’re a favorite!

We also look forward to ham au gratin potatoes as leftovers!

I try to purchase my children an ornament each year so they will have a starter box of their very own Christmas when they grow up.

We almost always get new winter pajamas. And lots of books.

We read lots of holidays books and watch fun holiday movies every year.

We have a simple celebration for New Year’s.

Our holiday season ends with Epiphany.

Delegate

Trusting my kids is a huge part of sanity over the holidays.

While my husband has a panic attack when they carry his grandmother’s china dishes and my crystal butter dish to and from the dining table, I know they can handle it. They take great care with these items. And they’re just things. Someday, it will all be theirs.

My kids always wanted to help put up our artificial Christmas tree when they were very little. I think they considered it a fun puzzle with the colored branch tips.

Nowadays, I bring the big duct-taped box out of the cellar and let them have at it. They’re plenty old enough and do a great job putting it up and pulling it down to store away for another year. My husband and I usually string the lights. We all help sort and hang the ornaments.

The kids completely decorated the front of the house during deployment. It looked like a holiday zoo! I hardly had to help at all. They were amazing.

My middle daughter is quickly becoming self-proficient in the kitchen. She’s in charge of any potato dish. She also sets the table just lovely. I never have to check the placement of a fork or wine glass with her!

My husband is in charge of the prime rib. My son loves cooking meats – frying, grilling, all of it. He loves thermometers! He wants to work in a butcher shop when he’s older.

Let it go

I don’t go to holiday parties.

Most of my husband’s work obligations don’t include me anyway. Our street has an adults-only progressive dinner, but I’d rather spend time with my family than drunk overgrown frat boys. For unavoidable events where it’s important to make an appearance, know when and how to leave as early as possible without seeming rude.

We don’t go to church anymore. I kinda miss the advent readings and candle lighting and midnight singing. Years ago, the church we attended did a fun ladies ornament exchange. But I don’t miss the stress and drama at all.

I really hate shopping, even throughout the year. It’s not hard for me to say no to shopping in November and December. I shop online all year round. I save money with cash back apps. Giving experiences is better as my kids get older.

Declutter before the presents arrive so it’s less stress. One in, one out is our flexible rule. We don’t give lots, but try to limit presents to about four with this little poem.

We do a few gifts within our immediate family. No gifts for extended family. I don’t send cards. I absolutely don’t send braggy annual newsletters, not even on social media. This is all for my sanity and for ethical reasons.

What do you want your family to remember about the holidays?

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Linking up: Welcome Heart, Modest Mom, Anita Ojeda, Little Cottage, Mostly Blogging, Flour Me with Love, Kippi at Home, Uncommon Suburbia, April Harris, LouLou Girls, Home Stories, Confessions, Mary Geisen, MaryAndering Creatively, Our Home, Our Three Peas, Grandmas Ideas, Sarah Frazer, OMHGW, Worth Beyond Rubies, Soaring with Him, Wise Woman, Purposeful Faith, Anchored Abode, Grace for a Gypsy, InstaEncouragements, Ducks in a Row, Girlish Whims, Fluster Buster, Ginger Snap Crafts, Penny’s Passion, Marilyn’s Treats, Try it Like it, Apron Strings, Create with Joy,

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Holiday Blues

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November 18, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

With the holidays upon us it’s easy for us to get caught up in the rush of it all. While we may be cooking, shopping, and enjoying holiday events, there are others, many of whom are in our very own circles, having a tougher time.

Most holiday stress and anxiety come from:

Gifts
Expectations
Overwhelm

We can reduce our gift-giving and offer experiences or fewer things.

We can simplify our expectations and stop comparing and refuse to look at Pinterest.

We can say no to situations or things that are not priority.

5 Kinds of People Most Likely to Get the Holiday Blues and How to Help:

1. Divorced or widowed

Loss is a sad, life-changing event at any time of the year.

However, it tends to be harder when everyone around you is joyful celebrating the holidays and you feel it’s an effort to get out of bed.

If someone in your circles is going through a major loss and life transition, be supportive and understanding.

They are grieving and mourning and are especially sensitive around the holidays. It’s important that they feel included but don’t be offended if they choose to opt out of certain events.

Checking in and offering them the option to participate in whatever they want, when they want is a great way to help. Love them through it.

2. Entrepreneurs

The holidays could be stressful for small business owners because so much rides on the end of year.

They may be fretting over their profits (or lack thereof), the goals they didn’t reach, and the many things still to do.

They feel overwhelmed and when they are expected to shop, entertain and be present for their families, they may be short tempered and anxious.

The best way to help the busy entrepreneur is to make their life easier in any way possible. If they can’t make it to a family dinner, tell them your door is open for dessert. Oftentimes they feel guilty and obligated which only adds to their frustration.

Also consider that these worker-bees are conflicted. When they are working, they miss their families and when they are with family, they are thinking of work.

3. Caretakers

Adults who are caretakers to their chronically ill children, relatives, or elderly parents are incredibly overwhelmed and often overlooked.

As a caretaker, they always have to consider the well-being of their patient. They can’t just get up and go.

Caretakers may feel resentful, isolated and stuck during the holidays which leads to conflicted feelings of resentment and guilt. They also believe they have to be hands on managing everything.

It’s important to lighten the caretakers load by offering support even if it means asking them how they are doing.

Be patient and ask the caretaker what they need. It could be something as simple as having food delivered to their home to free up time for other tasks.

4. Recovering addicts

Recovering from addiction is hard. Period.

But it’s harder when holiday festivities are filled with friends and family drinking everything from spiked eggnog to champagne.

Understand that those in recovery from substance abuse are hyper-sensitive about being judged. They feel as if all eyes are on them and that pressure may trigger the desire to use drugs or alcohol to soothe their anxiety. When they aren’t fully recovered, they may anticipate possible “landmines” and avoid them. They may choose to stay to themselves and observe more and participate less. They might opt out of larger family gatherings that are too overwhelming.

Offer an open invitation and remind them they are welcome whenever they are ready.

Offer a safe celebration inclusive of all – with no temptation for alcohol, drugs, or gambling.

A balance of love, support, and acceptance is what they are in most need of.

5. Children of divorce

Divorce means two separate holidays at two different places and kids often feel overwhelmed having to double up.

It’s incredibly important for parents to agree civilly on where the kids are going during the holidays and all the logistical details.

Kids want to feel safe and secure. They don’t want to feel as if they are the expected to be rushed here and there because their parents chose to divorce.

It could be unsettling to younger kids and teens may isolate and rebel against any family events as they are sorting out their own emotions as they get used to a new normal.

Don’t burden kids with guilt trips or overdo it with presents to make up for the stress. Just be honest and supportive and loving.

You really want to establish a game plan for the holidays and if possible, stick to it every year.

The holidays can be a stressful time of year for many of us. It’s a time when we must be aware and extra kind to those on the fringes.

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Quotes from Dr. Sanam Hafeez, a NYC based licensed clinical psychologist, teaching faculty member at the prestigious Columbia University Teachers College and the founder and Clinical Director of Comprehensive Consultation Psychological Services.

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Celebrating Candlemas

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January 28, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

I know everybody is going on and on about groundhogs, but I think Candlemas is a much more beautiful and meaningful holiday.

Candlemas occurs 40 days after Christmas. Candlemas is the most ancient of all the festivals honoring Mary.

The Presentation of Jesus at the Temple is the ceremony described in the Gospel of Luke, combining the purification rite with the redemption of the firstborn:

²²And when the days of her purification according to the law of Moses were accomplished, they brought him to Jerusalem, to present him to the Lord;

²³(As it is written in the law of the Lord, Every male that openeth the womb shall be called holy to the Lord;)

²⁴And to offer a sacrifice according to that which is said in the law of the Lord, A pair of turtledoves, or two young pigeons.

²⁵And, behold, there was a man in Jerusalem, whose name was Simeon; and the same man was just and devout, waiting for the consolation of Israel: and the Holy Ghost was upon him.

²⁶And it was revealed unto him by the Holy Ghost, that he should not see death, before he had seen the Lord’s Christ.

²⁷And he came by the Spirit into the temple: and when the parents brought in the child Jesus, to do for him after the custom of the law,

²⁸Then took he him up in his arms, and blessed God, and said,

²⁹Lord, now lettest thou thy servant depart in peace, according to thy word:

³⁰For mine eyes have seen thy salvation,

³¹Which thou hast prepared before the face of all people;

³²A light to lighten the Gentiles, and the glory of thy people Israel.

³³And Joseph and his mother marvelled at those things which were spoken of him.

³⁴And Simeon blessed them, and said unto Mary his mother, Behold, this child is set for the fall and rising again of many in Israel; and for a sign which shall be spoken against;

³⁵(Yea, a sword shall pierce through thy own soul also,) that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.

³⁶And there was one Anna, a prophetess, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Aser: she was of a great age, and had lived with an husband seven years from her virginity;

³⁷And she was a widow of about fourscore and four years, which departed not from the temple, but served God with fastings and prayers night and day.

³⁸And she coming in that instant gave thanks likewise unto the Lord, and spake of him to all them that looked for redemption in Jerusalem.

Luke 2:22-38

I love the Nunc Dimittis. There are lovely works of art and music by Bach commemorating this time.

History:

The earliest reference to specific liturgical rites surrounding the feast are by the nun Egeria, during her pilgrimage to the Holy Land (381–384).

The Emperor Justinian I, after a terrible plague, ordered a period of fasting and prayer throughout the entire Empire in 541 and thanksgiving in 542.

In Rome, the feast appears in the Gelasian Sacramentary, a manuscript collection of the seventh and eighth centuries associated with Pope Gelasius I.

The tenth-century Benedictional of St. Æthelwold, bishop of Winchester, has a formula used for blessing the candles.

It was the traditional day to remove the cattle from the hay meadows, and from the field that was to be ploughed and sown that spring.

References to it are common in later medieval and early Modern literature; Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night is recorded as having its first performance on Candlemas Day 1602.

It was one of the Scottish quarter days, at which debts were paid and law courts were in session, until a change in the law in 1991.

In Irish homes, there are many rituals revolving around welcoming St. Brigid into the home on Imbolc with candles, wheat, and milk. She was seen by Celtic Christians as the midwife of Christ and “Mary of the Gael.” In Ireland and Scotland, Brigid is the “foster mother of Jesus.”

In Poland, the feast is called Święto Matki Bożej Gromnicznej (Feast of Our Lady of Thunder). This name refers to the candles that are blessed on this day, called gromnice, since these candles are lit during thunderstorms and placed in windows to ward off storm damage.

The Western term Candlemas refers to the practice where a priest blesses candles for use throughout the year.

Some Christians observe the practice of leaving Christmas decorations up until Candlemas.

“If Candlemas Day is clear and bright,
winter will have another bite.
If Candlemas Day brings cloud and rain,
winter is gone and will not come again.”

“Down with the rosemary, and so
Down with the bays and mistletoe;
Down with the holly, ivy, all,
Wherewith ye dress’d the Christmas Hall”
~Robert Herrick (1591–1674), Ceremony upon Candlemas Eve

Moch maduinn Bhride, Thig an nimhir as an toll; Cha bhoin mise ris an nimhir, Cha bhoin an nimhir rium.
(Early on Bride’s morn, the serpent will come from the hollow I will not molest the serpent, nor will the serpent molest me)
Thig an nathair as an toll, la donn Bride Ged robh tri traighean dh’ an t-sneachd air leachd an lair.
(The serpent will come from the hollow on the brown day of Bridget Though there should be three feet of snow on the flat surface of the ground)
~Carmina Gadelica

Celebrating Candlemas:

Eat crêpes! Crêpes or pancakes, with their round shape and golden color reminiscent of the solar disc, refer to the return of Spring after the dark and cold of Winter.
Candles
Read books
Take down Christmas decorations
Look at weather predictions
Make candle holders

Activities:

PB Grace
Catholic Icing
Catholic Inspired
JoyFilled Family
Sun Hats and Wellie Boots
Badger/Groundhog Candlemas weather folklore history from Yesteryear News

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Celebrating Epiphany

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December 31, 2018 By Jennifer Lambert 14 Comments

Three Kings Day or Epiphany or Twelfth Night on January 6 celebrates three events:

the arrival of the Magi, or Three Wise Men, or Three Kings, in Bethlehem to see the child Jesus
the baptism of Jesus
Jesus’ first miracle.

In Germany and other places in Europe, chalk is used to write the initials of the three magi over the doors of churches and homes.

The letters stand for the initials of the Magi (traditionally named Caspar, Melchior, and Balthasar).

Also the phrase Christus mansionem benedicat, which translates as

“May Christ bless the house.”

In Spain, there are processions of the Three Kings through city main streets and big festivals.

In France, they eat lovely almond cake. And in New Orleans, it’s King Cake!

Read more about the extensive world traditions of Epiphany.

We were so happy to finally visit Köln/Cologne to see The Shrine of the Three Kings before we moved back to the States. It’s a beautiful cathedral.

I love this image so much from an old holiday card that I saved it:

We learn about frankincense and myrrh as we read books about the Magi.

I have our family nativity scene displayed through January 6, and have the magi travel throughout the living room until they reach the Holy Family.

May Christ Bless This House

And Yours.

Celebrating Epiphany

Make a King Cake or Galette des Rois
Read about Daniel (precursor to the Magi?)
Watch The Star (for little ones)
Watch The Star of Bethlehem (for older)
Put on a funny skit or play
Crafts
Read books about the Magi
Visit, make, or learn about the Nativity scene
Listen to Bach
Sing carols about the Wise Men (I love We Three Kings of Orient Are)

Activities:

Little Blots Printables
Paper Chain from First Palette
Coloring Page from Christian Preschool Printables
Kennedy Adventures
Sadlier
Wunder-Mom
Catholic Inspired
Catholic Icing
Living Montessori Now

Books:

Linking up: Create with Joy, Maryandering Creatively, Our Holiday Journey, Jessi’s Design, Our Three Peas, Gingersnap Crafts, LouLou Girls, April Harris, My Pinventures, Uncommon Suburbia, Inspo for Moms, My Life Abundant, Sarah Frazer, Abounding Grace, Purposeful Faith, Heartsie Girl, Mommynificent, Debbie Kitterman, Penny’s Passion, Rachel Marie Lee, CKK, TFT, Life Beyond the Kitchen, Being a Wordsmith, Easy Peasy Pleasy, Blended Blog, Simply Sweet Home, Susan Mead, Momfessionals, Firemans Wife, CWJ, Counting My Blessings, Bright on a Budget, Lyli Dunbar, Crystal Waddell, Anna Nuttall, Answer is Choco, Creative K Kids, Coffee With Us3, Our Mini Family,

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Celebrating Saint Lucia’s Day

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December 10, 2018 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

We enjoy celebrating holidays from around the world.

St. Lucia’s Day is a lovely celebration for children.

St. Lucia Day History

The celebration of St. Lucia comes from stories that were told by monks who first brought Christianity to Sweden.

December 13th was also the Winter Solstice, the shortest day of the year, in the old “Julian” calendar and a pagan festival of lights in Sweden was turned into St. Lucia’s Day.

St. Lucia’s Day is celebrated by a girl dressing in a white dress with red sash and a wreath with candles on her head. Small children use electric candles, but from about 12 years old, real candles are often used. The crown is traditionally made of lingonberry branches which are evergreen and symbolise new life in winter.

A national Lucia is chosen in Sweden every year. Lucias visit hospitals and homes for the elderly, singing a song about St. Lucia and handing out Pepparkakor, ginger biscuits.

Boys might dress up as Stjärngossar (star boys) and small girls might be attendant Tärnor (like Lucia but without the candles).

A popular food eaten at St. Lucia’s day are Lussekatts, buns flavored with saffron and dotted with raisins which are eaten for breakfast.

St. Lucia Crafts and Activities

A fun recipe for St. Lucia Cookies

Catholic Icing paper dolls

Making Learning Fun printables

Felt crowns from JoyFilled Family

Lots of activities from The Kennedy Adventures

Paper crowns and star hats from Kiddley

Another paper crown from Sweet Paul

Swedish holiday books from What Do We Do All Day

Arthur episode about St. Lucia on PBS Kids

St. Lucia Books

What interesting holidays does your family celebrate?

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Celebrating Holidays During Deployment

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November 19, 2018 By Jennifer Lambert 5 Comments

Deployment.

The HoLidAyS.

Halloween to New Years.

Can you say S-T-R-E-S-S?

The holidays get me down anyway, and doing them alone is no fun at all. If it were just me, I would forego the whole winter season completely.

I do it for the kids.

October to January. It feels like so many expectations to make everything perfect, all by myself.

The kids are older now and they have a say. They like to stay home, mostly.

We don’t want potlucks with strangers. We don’t participate in events on base. We don’t know the people Dad works with at all.

We stopped going to church because it was so fake. I don’t want pity or questions. I’m healing in my solitude.

How We Celebrate the Holidays During Deployment:

Tradition

For many families and certainly for young kids, maintaining tradition is important. It offers continuity and comfort. We have certain expectations every year. Some things can be omitted or mixed up, but other things are just necessary for the holiday to feel special.

I’m an only child, so we really never did much on holidays, except with my grandmothers and they passed when I was a teenager.

My husband’s parents passed the first year we married. We’ve never celebrated holidays with family.

It was a blank slate.

We could create our own traditions!

We like to keep things simple. It keeps my stress levels down, knowing I don’t have to make everything perfect and Pinterest-worthy. We don’t do Santa. We do St. Nicholas, but they know it’s me.

For our family of six, we have several traditions.

We make and eat latkes the first night of Hanukkah, even though we’re not Jewish. We learned about Judaism in depth for homeschool church and world history and we’ve just always continued with some of the Jewish traditions.

We like to drive around, looking at Christmas lights. This is the first year in ages that we didn’t do that. I just couldn’t fit it in with the weather, kids’ schedules, and my parents visiting.

We try new recipes for cookies, muffins, cakes.

We watch certain movies during the holiday season.

New Traditions

Shopmas, er, Thanksgiving, is kind of a worthless holiday for us. We practice gratitude year-round.

My eldest doesn’t even like turkey. Only one child likes dressing/stuffing. There’s hardly a point making a lot of food for Thanksgiving that no one likes. We don’t care about or watch football. We can have pizza on Thanksgiving if we want to. I can make a mini buffet of lots of little snacks or appetizers and we can all eat what we like. We can do what we want. We can go to the movies. It doesn’t matter. No one dictates to us! Maybe it will even become a new tradition.

My son just announced that he can’t wait for Thanksgiving! He loves turkey and my homemade pie. Well, then. Guess there will be no deviating from that tradition at this time.

We don’t do Black Friday or Cyber Monday. I’ve been finished with holiday shopping for weeks. We want a debt-free holiday.

We eat an awful lot of ham year-round so it’s just not special. I’m not making a prime rib without my husband here to enjoy it. We can have Chinese food, Italian, or anything we want for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day dinners! There’s a scary freedom to that.

There are some things only Dad can do or do well. So without him here, I have to mix things up.

We normally make chicken wings on New Year’s Eve, but I’m kinda scared of the deep fryer. We may have a living room picnic with a movie or even go out. Update: I did great frying chicken wings!

We can go to a movie on New Year’s Day. We usually have the traditional Southern pork, greens, and black-eyed peas for dinner.

We really like Chinese New Year and often make Asian food or go out for a special meal.

Travel

We used to travel over holidays.

The long 4-day Thanksgiving weekend offered great opportunities when we lived in Germany – and we went to Prague, Porto, and Venice. We went to Maui and Rome over Christmas.

We’ve been saving money and I don’t know if I want to venture out too far in snow or ice. I’m from Georgia.

My parents are 12 hours away by car.

My eldest works more when school is out.

I know lots of families move in with family or visit extensively to stave off the loneliness.

Presents

We are always trying to be frugal and debt-free, but I’m doing presents this year.

Yes, there is a bit of guilt that Dad’s not here and I probably spent more than I would have if he were home.

We may open some gifts during the nights of Hanukkah. We may open them all on Christmas Eve. I’m letting the kids decide but they can’t complain later.

Presents aren’t the most important part of the holidays, but they’re fun. The anticipation is exciting.

Presence

There’s only me, so I feel obligated to do all the things.

We celebrate Advent with reading and candles every evening.

We spent the cold dreary days and nights together playing board games, Wii, reading, puzzles, baking.

Sometimes the togetherness gets to be a bit much and we separate to draw, read, cook, watch Netflix, or sit with the cats.

I want to rest in the presence of Jesus during Advent.

I want to model calm presence throughout the holidays in spite of the chaos and loneliness.

How do you celebrate holidays when your spouse is deployed?

You might also like

10 Gifts for a Military Family

How Deployment Affects Marriage

How Deployment Affects Kids

Navigating Motherhood During Deployment

Homeschooling During Deployment

Surviving Deployment as an Introvert Spouse

Linking up: Create with Joy, Our Holiday Journey, Mostly Blogging, Inspo for Moms, Organized Dream, Pinventures, Chicken Chick, Squishable Baby, Modest Mom, LouLou Girls, April Harris, Purposeful Faith, MaryAndering Creatively, Abounding Grace, Trekking Thru, Esme Salon, Wise Woman, Gingersnap Crafts, Our Three Peas, Marilyn’s Treats, Holley Gerth, My Life Abundant, Sarah Frazer, Lyli Dunbar, Life Beyond the Kitchen, Be Thee Inspired, Lori Schumaker, Quietly Reminded, Meghan Weyerbacher, Our Mini Family,

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Blue Christmas

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December 24, 2017 By Jennifer Lambert 5 Comments

I led a Blue Christmas service on Winter Solstice at my church last year.

Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted. Matthew 5:4

The Longest Night Service or Blue Christmas is held on the Winter Solstice to temper the struggle with darkness and grief faced by those living with loss, separation, or illness. The service coincides with the traditional feast day for Saint Thomas the Apostle.

Jesus said, “Come unto me all you who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

And so we invite each other to this time of peaceful worship. Flee for a while from your tasks. Hide yourself for a little space from the turmoil of your thoughts. Come, cast aside your burdensome cares and put aside your laborious pursuits. Give your time to God, and rest in God for a little while.

Much of the liturgy I borrowed from a pdf I found online from Palo Cristi Presbyterian Church. I already have ideas for next year!

It was a calm, quiet, casual service. No standing, no greeting. No wishing anyone “Merry Christmas.”

The lights were dim.

About 25 people worshiped together on the longest night of the year.

Our pastor welcomed everyone.

Her husband played guitar.

Our music director played piano.

My middle daughters were acolytes and lit the altar candles.

I began with a poem, First Coming by Madeleine L’Engle.

He did not wait till the world was ready,
till men and nations were at peace.
He came when the Heavens were unsteady,
and prisoners cried out for release.

He did not wait for the perfect time.
He came when the need was deep and great.
He dined with sinners in all their grime,
turned water into wine. He did not wait

till hearts were pure. In joy he came
to a tarnished world of sin and doubt.
To a world like ours, of anguished shame
he came, and his Light would not go out.

He came to a world which did not mesh,
to heal its tangles, shield its scorn.
In the mystery of the Word made Flesh
the Maker of the stars was born.

We cannot wait till the world is sane
to raise our songs with joyful voice,
for to share our grief, to touch our pain,
He came with Love: Rejoice! Rejoice!

HYMN: It Came Upon a Midnight Clear

CLAIMING A PLACE OF SAFETY

One: This night is ours.

All: Here we find refuge from bright lights, holiday songs, celebrations, and the expectations of everyone around us.

One: In this safe place, we can admit our pain, our loss, our fears, and no one will judge us.

All: No one will tell us to be happy or merry. No one will think less of us because we cannot celebrate this season. Above all, no one will find our tears inconvenient or inappropriate.

One: Here, we can pour our hearts out honestly and claim our own kind of meaning from this season.

All: Here, we are welcome even if we’re cynical, even if we’re angry, even if we scoff at the mention of hope and meaning.

One: Tonight, we can be where we are. We do not need to hide or pretend or feel guilty, even if our grief, our pain, our anger seems ugly to the world.

All: We can release our need to please others and be ourselves.

One: Let us be at peace.

All: We are safe here. We are accepted here. There are no demands.

One: Let us be sanctuary for one another.

All: We say to each other: Lay your burdens here. Cast your sorrows into the circle of light. Bask in the warmth that is life.

One: We say to each other: There is more to life than pain. There is more to life than sorrow. Wait for it. Watch for it. Welcome it.

This evening we confess that we are profoundly in need of God’s mercy, so let us sing “Kyrie Eleison,” the Greek words meaning “Lord, have mercy.”

SUNG CONFESSION: Kyrie Eleison

RESPONSIVE PRAYER

One: Signs of celebration surround us.

All: What can we celebrate?

One: Here. Now. We can only celebrate and embrace this moment. This breath. Even if it hurts.

All: There is breath. There is life. Each new moment we breathe this air, there is hope of unexpected comfort, joy, and love.

One: We are precious. Every breath we take is significant and a victory. Our being and Our lives are the greatest and most irreplaceable treasure.

All: Even when life is filled with pain, it is a miracle worthy of awe and reverence.

One: There is a miracle to celebrate on this dark and quiet night. It is within us.

All: Our eyes see the stars of the night sky. Our lips form words of comfort and truth. Our feet carry us where we bid them. Our backs bear our burdens until we can put them down. Each courageous act is a triumph.

One: We are privileged to live out our lives surrounded by everyday wonders:

All: Trees and their dappled shade, birds and their varied songs, blue skies and changing clouds;

One: Thunderstorms and sea breezes, mugs of hot coffee or tea, music, afternoon naps,

All: hot baths and hot showers, good-smelling soaps,

One: the Milky Way, and warm smiles from strangers,

All: And every day the pale creeping dawn signals new beginning. Each day the commonplace is miraculous.

One: We are not alone. Isolation is a myth and a lie.

All: There are thousands of people, hundreds of thousands of people, who tonight are one with us in our questions and doubts.

One: Some are in this room. Some we cannot see or touch. But the human bond is there nonetheless.

All: Hundreds of thousands of people whose simple existence makes each of us stronger,

One: A human community where we can comfort and serve each other.

All: Even in the face of sorrow we can find sources of hope and reasons to rejoice we can share that hope and that joy with each other.

One: We can put our arms around each other in unity and understanding.

All: We are not alone.

GATHERING HYMN: Wait for the Lord by Taizé

SCRIPTURE READINGS

Two of our church leaders and my teen daughter read these.

Luke 14:15-24: This story offers hope for those who have no one to invite them. It reminds us that in God’s divine order, no one is excluded-all are invited.

Matthew 11:28-29: When burdens get piled on top of other burdens, the load can crush us. In his promise, Jesus offers us help to carry our burdens and responsibilities.

Revelation 7:15-17: Our present world is not how God wants things to be. Those who weep now will not weep later. In this new heaven and new earth, there will be no more need for tears.

HYMN: O Come, Emmanuel #123

CANDLELIGHTING

My four children did this part so beautifully.

We light four candles tonight. We light one for our grief, one for our courage, one for our memories, and one for our love.

Reader 1: This candle represents our grief. We own the pain of losing loved ones, of dreams that go unfulfilled, of hopes that evaporate in despair.

Reader 2: This candle represents our courage. It symbolizes the courage to confront our sorrow, to comfort each other, to share our feelings honestly and openly with each other, and to dare to hope in the midst of pain.

Reader 3: This candle represents our memories. For the times we laughed together, cried together, were angry with each other or overjoyed with each other. We light this candle for the memories of caring and joy we shared together.

Reader 4: This candle represents our love. The love we have given, and the love we have received. The love that has gone unacknowledged and unfelt, and the love that has been shared in times of joy and sorrow.

Leader: You are now invited to come forward to light one of the tealight candles which represents your burdens, griefs, sorrows, all those things that make Christmas a “blue” time for you.

Leader: We now light the Christ candle, remembering that Jesus Christ is always in the center of our lives. He hears our cries, he knows our hearts and, in the midst of all our thoughts and emotions, he offers us hope and healing.

PRAYER

Comforting God, wrap us in your presence in this time of remembrance.

With these candles, help us find your light, a light that will guide us day by day, step by step, as we try to live life fully and whole.

We cherish the special ways in which we have been touched by our loved ones.

We thank you for the gift their lives have been to us. Now comfort us, encourage us, and empower us. AMEN.

HYMN: In the Bleak Midwinter

HOMILY by Jennifer Lambert

I am a failure.

I’ve failed at so many things.

I’ve failed at school, at work, as a friend, as a wife, as a mom, in my community, as a Christian.

I imagine most people can relate to failing at some point.

During the holidays, many of us feel like a failure.

All the lights, music, decorations, events, celebrations are overwhelming.

It can make one’s mouth hurt to constantly speak with such forced merriment.

I don’t have Pinterest-worthy decorations. I get overwhelmed making homemade meals and treats all season-long. I can’t buy all the gifts for all the people on my list. It’s a comparison trap, looking over my shoulder, on social media at what others are doing, making, buying that seem better, more meaningful, more memorable.

I need more time, more energy, more money.

Or I do I need to just change my expectations?

Most failure is because of failed expectations.

Mary was a failure.

Mary was pregnant before her wedding to Joseph. In any time period, that is scandalous.

Her pregnancy was unexpected. She was an unexpected bride. She lived an unexpected life.

Did Mary feel like a failure as a wife?

She delivered her firstborn son in a stable. Suddenly, unexpectedly. Was she scared? Was she disappointed at those conditions?

She later witnessed her firstborn son ridiculed, beaten, crucified, dead, buried.

Did Mary feel like a failure as a mother?

Joseph was a failure.

Joseph wanted to quietly divorce Mary when he found out she was already pregnant and he knew he wasn’t the father. Joseph followed through after the angel commanded him to take Mary as his bride anyway.

Joseph traveled to Bethlehem with a very pregnant Mary for the census. He couldn’t find a room for her to stay in, much less to give birth in.

How uncomfortable must that journey have been? I’ve had 4 traumatic birth experiences, but in a stable?

Did Joseph panic?

Did Joseph feel ashamed?

He knowingly entered into a blended family.

Did Joseph feel like a failure as a husband and stepfather?

Jesus was a failure.

Born in a stable.

Exiled to Egypt.

Living in obscurity as a carpenter.

Rising as an unexpected leader.

Nathanael claimed: “Nothing good can come out of Nazareth.”

Jesus was supposed to rescue the Jews from the Romans. He wasn’t the king they were expecting.

The Jews rejected Jesus as the Messiah. Even though He fulfilled prophecy, Jesus’ radical teachings and ways were unexpected. He shook the bureaucracy.

Then Jesus was arrested, tortured, crucified, killed, buried.

He rose from the grave, but still they struggled to understand.

Jesus was a failure because He didn’t fulfill human expectations.

And yet He loves us because we know not what we do.

Who has seen the new Star Wars movie? No spoilers, but I love this line:

Failure is our greatest learning.

We can’t avoid failure. But what do we do with it? Do we mope and wallow in the negativity, beating ourselves up, refusing to try again?

We must learn from our failures.

When we are weak, He is strong. In our failure, He is magnified and glorified.

We must realize our potential,

practice peace,

and learn our purpose.

It’s one thing for others to see your potential. It’s quite another for you to understand and see potential in yourself.

We must have courage to fail and have peace with ourselves and others. We must forgive ourselves and others. We must learn to apologize and make amends to heal relationships with others. We have to learn to let go of hurts.

Growth is painful. We must pray to realize our purpose, even if it’s unexpected. We must stop striving to be someone else, listening to those inner voices telling us we’re not good enough. Looking ahead and planning is good, but let’s not lose sight of the blessings and opportunities right in front of us, in this moment.

Being a student is enough. Being a spouse is enough. Being a parent is enough.

You are enough.

Pray with me:

May God bless us with discomfort at half-truths, easy answers, and superficial relationships, so that we will live deeply and from the heart.

May God bless us with righteous anger at injustice, oppression, and the exploitation of people, so that we will work for justice, freedom, and peace.

May God bless us with tears to shed for those in pain, so that we will reach out our hands to them and turn their pain into joy.

And may God bless us with just enough foolishness to believe that we can make a difference in this old world, so that we will do those unexpected things that others say cannot be done.

Jesus Christ is the light of the world, the light no darkness can overcome.

Stay with us, Lord, for it is evening, and the day is almost over.

Let your light scatter the darkness and illumine your people. Amen.

LORICA OF ST. PATRICK

L: I arise today
C: Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity
Through belief in the threeness
Through confession of the Oneness
Towards the creator.

L: I arise today
C: Through God’s strength to pilot me:
God’s might to uphold me,
God’s wisdom to guide me
God’s eye to look before me,
God’s ear to hear me,
God’s word to speak for me,
God’s hand to guard me,
God’s way to lie before me,
God’s host to secure me.

L: I arise today
C: Through the strength of Christ with his baptism,
Through the strength of his crucifixion with his burial,
Through the strength of his resurrection with his ascension
Through the strength of his descent for the Judgment of doom.

L: Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
C: Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
L: Christ on my right, Christ on my left
C: Christ where I lie, Christ where I sit, Christ where I arise
L: Christ in the heart of everyone who thinks of me,
C: Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
L: Christ in every eye that sees me,
C: Christ in every ear that hears me.

L: Salvation is of the Lord
C: Salvation is of the Lord
L: Salvation is of Christ
C: May thy salvation, O Lord, be ever with us.

HYMN: Silent Night #147

BLESSING

One: Let us face the trials of a bright season with an inner calm because we know there are deeper meanings.

All: We have looked into the pool of suffering and we have not lost all hope. Let that knowledge strengthen us.

One: When we are overcome with despair, let us be glad of our improbable existence and be content to wait for the next moment and the possibility it brings for unexpected joy.

All: For a little space of time, we have laid our burdens down. For a little space of time, we have cast our sorrows into the circle of light. For as long as we are able, we will bask in the warmth that is life.

One: These candles will flutter and burn out sending the room into darkness, but our hearts contain a more powerful flame.

All: In our hearts burns life, complex and difficult, in all its uniqueness and mystery.

One: We carry hope into the world simply by carrying on, helping others, and living our lives as best we can.

All: Even on the darkest nights when all we can do is curl up and weep, the ember of life is in us, burning intensely.

One: That radiance is more brilliant than any holiday decoration; it is more enduring than any loss; it is a flame worth protecting, worth fighting for.

All: Let us nurture that warmth and life in us.

One: Let us go into a cold winter night and warm its air even slightly with our breath as we go. Let us pass from this safe place, knowing that we carry sanctuary in us.

All: In the coolness of the night, we will walk in peace. In the quiet of the starlight, we will walk with hope. In the company of all life, we will do our best to love.

One: Go forth! Breathe in the crisp air, feel your feet upon the earth, know you are in good company. Nurture the ember that glows inside you, for it is robust and will give you strength.

All: So be it. So we will go.