Celebrating Holidays

This post may contain affiliate links. See disclosure. Check out my suggested resources.

June 29, 2020 By Jennifer Lambert 5 Comments

Maybe some of us didn’t grow in healthy homes or with families who celebrated holidays in ways we want to continue with our own children.

I grew up an only child and I felt so much pressure to make birthdays, Mother’s Day, and Father’s Day special since I had no one to share it with.

I feel pretty whiny about writing this, but it seems like it needs to be said.

I spent my own money that my grandma sent to buy thoughtful presents for my parents. They were seldom appreciative. I remember my father demanding I buy my mother flowers for their anniversary one year when I was a teenager and I bristled at that chore since I felt it was not my responsibility. I remember many birthdays and Mother’s Day when she unwrapped perfumes and whatnot that my father purchased and said were from me. We usually went out to dinner for steak on birthdays.

My mother always wants more and loves shopping as entertainment. I don’t share that hobby. It stresses me out.

I remember most of my birthdays were when my father was out of town on business trips. My mother invited her family and my school mates and neighborhood friends. I realized when I got older that my father didn’t like gatherings.

Christmases were always pretty stressful when I was young. My mom is the youngest child of six and everyone getting together on Christmas Eve was bound to end in negativity on someone’s part. I was mostly too young to notice, but I knew my parents fought about it before and afterwards. Most years, my dad stayed at home while I accompanied my mother to these annual parties. My grandmother passed when I was 16, and it all deteriorated after that.

It’s hard for me when my parents ask what I want for my birthday or Christmas and I tell them an item I really want, but they say, “oh, no, not that; what else do you want?” So I usually just say: “I don’t really want or need anything, thanks.”

As a mom of four, I am dealing with my own issues and trauma. I don’t want my kids to feel pressure. If they don’t want to celebrate my birthday or Mother’s Day per society convention, that should be ok.

I want my kids to realize that some people might have gift giving/receiving as their love language. It’s important to show people we love them in ways they understand.

I am trying to work out my own hurt feelings when my birthday passes by with nothing. It seems that something or other always tries to ruin the day. I try to look at where I failed and how I can live better and model a better reaction to anger or fear and we can still celebrate more appropriately, perhaps without pressure or presents but still a rather cheerful greeting or hug.

I’ve tried to model celebrating with my kids’ birthdays, serving special meals, homemade cake, and presents. I ask their preferences which vary year to year as they get older. I hope I’ve done well. We’ve done away with flashy parties since we have no one to invite and we’re never invited anywhere. Perhaps they’re resentful but the younger three kids surely have little memory of the time before when I stressed over keeping up with others in that way.

I wanted a Pinterest-perfect holiday season before there was even social media. I wanted it to look like something out of style magazines on my husband’s lieutenant budget. Every year without fail, I cried over a failed expectation or the wine spilled or the pork roast was still raw in the middle.

I used to make myself physically ill planning events and holidays. Surely it wasn’t worth it. I don’t think anyone really noticed except that I was very upset if things weren’t living to my impossible level of perfection.

I needed to calm down and reflect on what was most important: relationships.

What memories do I want my family to have of holidays?

There were some recent Christmases when we traveled and minimally decorated and didn’t do presents, but the kids are too young to trade that and asked if we could do it more traditional from now on.

My husband has never shown interest in birthdays or holidays and all the work falls to me and I feel resentful. Years go by and things get forgotten until they roll around on the calendar again. Yet he bragged when we were dating what a thoughtful unique gift giver he was.

The stress of all the past years are like a tidal wave of trauma.

I don’t like knick knacks or presents that will just sit around and collect dust. I’ve purged and minimized so much over the years with all our military moves. I’ve streamlined and curated our possessions. While I have some regrets of items we had to sell or donate, I’m pretty content and I don’t just need more “stuff.”

When we first married, he bought himself a DVD player and surround sound system but wrote my name on the wrapped presents under the tree. I was maybe more upset by memories of my first husband only buying items for himself. I don’t care anything about electronics. If it weren’t for him and the kids, I wouldn’t own a TV.

He tried to buy me jewelry a couple times. The jade pearl necklace and bracelet set was obviously on sale because it’s missing some beads, but surely he didn’t know or look closely enough. He once bought me a children’s pearl necklace set that I returned to the store and he got very upset.

I told my husband just not to buy me presents anymore and he didn’t. He hasn’t.

Fifteen years have gone by.

He bought me caramel chocolates for our anniversary when he was last deployed. Everyone who has ever known me knows I loathe caramel.

My husband never showed appreciation for the presents the kids made him or that I purchased “from” them. I guess he didn’t have a good model for that. He doesn’t much remember what his family did on Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, birthdays. Christmas was a huge affair, focused on the kids. I stopped buying anything for my husband on holidays. We were strapped for money for many years anyway and I convinced myself this was best.

I mentioned last year that maybe it’s not healthy for the kids to see us not give each other presents on holidays. The kids asked me about it and I didn’t have a good answer for them.

I need us to model for the kids a healthy relationship, healthy holidays, healthy celebrations. We need to do better.

He bought me a hoodie for Christmas and kept asking all.day.long did I like it; did he do good? It became exhausting.

We have no relationship with my husband’s family so I felt so inauthentic and impersonal sending them gift cards for every birthday and Christmas. They probably misinterpreted my desire and reason to end that practice but I found it almost impossible to find gift cards for them when we lived in Germany and we never found a replacement tradition. I want more than a gift card relationship. I’m not sure what kind of holidays he had with his two sisters and parents while growing up. I know Christmases were huge affairs with piles of presents. I can’t and won’t recreate that.

My parents are not generous with their time, affection, money, or things and it makes holidays difficult when I am torn between being their daughter and also a wife and mom to my own family.

My daughter works part time and I would never ask her or expect her to spend her own money on presents for me or her siblings, but she doesn’t have to brazenly announce that we are not worth her time, effort, or money. She needs to learn to express her frustration in healthier ways.

It is exhausting and painful for me to try to please everyone all the time.

Perhaps I should practice more what I preach: say what I mean and mean what I say. Precision of language.

Most people can’t really handle bluntness or boldness. They need things sugar coated because they’re used to word and mind games.

Children know what they want and aren’t shy about asking for it.

I collect presents for my children all year round for Christmas and birthdays. I pay attention to what they say they like and want.

I focus on food during holidays because those are good memories for me. My aunt always had a gorgeous spread on Christmas Eve, Easter, Independence Day. I learned a lot about decorating and cooking from her.

And my daughter criticized me for cooking too well that holidays aren’t even that special. What a backwards compliment.

Should I speak up and ask specifically for what I want on my birthday and Mother’s Day? It seems selfish and greedy. I’m not one to spend money on myself often.

It feels like a “Mommie Dearest” kind of a moment to sit them down and demand that that my kids do something for me.
But they all miss the point: The true gift any mother wants is not to do anything.
Lyz Lenz

I’m often overlooked and I don’t want my kids to grow up thinking that’s how to treat people, especially their own future in-laws. I want them to have healthier families than mine was and is, what I’m trying to teach them even with my mistakes.

It’s up to me to end abusive or traumatic cycles and this includes making holidays and celebrations a cheerful, not stressful time. I want my kids to have good memories. I don’t my kids remembering their mom sulking every Christmas because the cinnamon rolls overbaked a tiny bit and complaining about not getting anything for her birthday again this year.

Maybe my family doesn’t really know or remember my preferences, likes, dislikes so they just don’t do anything. Maybe they really are thoughtless and don’t even want to put forth the effort. But maybe my family just wants a bulleted list or PowerPoint presentation about what to get Mom on Mother’s Day, Christmas, my birthday.

Yes, I realize we are privileged. We don’t struggle financially or medically. We have nothing but time and effort to improve our relationships with each other.

How I would like to celebrate:

Breakfast: spinach onion Parmesan omelet or veggie frittata

Dinner: seafood. I especially love salmon and scallops.

Presents: Always welcome are books from my wish list, bird feeders, experiences, gardening items.

I like to keep things simple.

How do you celebrate holidays?

Linking up: Marilyn’s Treats, Home Stories, Anita Ojeda, April Harris, Sallie Borrink, InstaEncouragements, Purposeful Faith, Little Cottage, Create with Joy, Mostly Blogging, Kippi at Home, Suburbia, Our Three Peas, Grammy’s Grid, Grandma’s Ideas, Anchored Abode, Soaring with Him, Worth Beyond Rubies, Ducks in a Row, Girlish Whims, Fluster Buster, Ginger Snap Crafts, Katherine’s Corner, Penny’s Passion, Debbie Kitterman, Welcome Heart, Ridge Haven Homestead, Slices of Life, CKK, Imparting Grace, Life Beyond the Kitchen, OMHG, Chic on a Shoestring, Answer is Choco, Simply Sweet Home, Momfessionals, Embracing Unexpected, Lyli Dunbar, Fireman’s Wife, CWJ, Being a Wordsmith, LouLou Girls,

Pin27

27 Shares

You might also like:

Celebrating St. Stephen

This post may contain affiliate links. See disclosure. Check out my suggested resources.

December 26, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

When we visited Rome over Christmas, we prepared ourselves for everything to be closed early on Christmas Eve, all day Christmas Day, and all day on St. Stephen’s Day. It was a little stressful since we were staying in an apartment and worried about having enough to do and eat on those few days. We knew we couldn’t pop down to the local big box store or off to a chain restaurant for a meal. There weren’t any and nothing was open.

We didn’t have leftovers from our takeout to make anything traditional for the day.

The traditional food would be St. Stephen’s Day stew made up of turkey, ham or bacon, vegetables, and other leftovers served hot. Cakes and pies would be served for dessert.

It’s traditional for people to visit the nativity scenes inside local churches and make a small donation. It was a sunny day and we enjoyed walking and looking at the sites along with locals.

San Lorenzo fuori le Mura is about 1.5 hours away on foot, so we never did get to see that part of Rome.

Celebrating St. Stephen

Stephen was a deacon in the early church at Jerusalem who upset the Jewish leaders with his teachings. Accused of blasphemy at his trial, he made a long speech denouncing the Jewish authorities who were sitting in judgment on him and was then stoned to death. His martyrdom was witnessed by Saul of Tarsus, a Pharisee who would later become a follower of Jesus and known as Paul the Apostle.

In Western Churches around the world, St. Stephen’s Day is celebrated on December 26, the day after Christmas. In Eastern Orthodox Churches where the Julian calendar is used, St. Stephen’s Day is celebrated on December 27th. St. Stephen was the first Christian martyr who died around the year of 34 A.D.

St. Stephen is the patron saint of stonemasons, casket makers, sufferers of headaches, horses and deacons.

Read the interesting account in the Bible in Acts 6-8:1. Stephen’s speech about Jewish history is interesting and objectionable by many as anti-Semitic. He changed from “our ancestors” to “your ancestors” at the end before he is stoned.

Yesterday we celebrated the temporal birth of our Eternal King; today we celebrate the triumphant passion of His soldier. For yesterday our King, clothed in the garb of our flesh and coming from the palace of the virginal womb, deigned to visit the world; today the soldier, leaving the tent of the body, has gone to heaven in triumph. The one, while preserving the majesty of the everlasting God, putting on the servile girdle of flesh, entered into the field of this world ready for the fray. The other, laying aside the perishable garment of the body, ascended to the palace of heaven to reign eternally. The One descended, veiled in flesh; the other ascended, crowned with blood.

The latter ascended while the Jews were stoning him because the former descended while the angels were rejoicing. “Glory to God in the highest,” sang the exulting angels yesterday; today rejoicing, they received Stephen into their company. Yesterday the Lord came forth from the womb of the Virgin; today the soldier of Christ has passed from the prison of the flesh.

Yesterday Christ was wrapped in swathing bands for our sake; today Stephen is clothed by Him in the robe of immortality. Yesterday the narrow confines of the crib held the Infant Christ; today the immensity of heaven has received the triumphant Stephen. The Lord descended alone that He might raise up many; our King has humbled Himself that He might exalt His soldiers. It is necessary for us, nevertheless, brethren, to acknowledge with what arms Stephen was girded and able to overcome the cruelty of the Jews that thus he merited so happily to triumph.

Stephen, therefore, that he might merit to obtain the crown his name signifies, had as his weapon charity, and by means of that he was completely victorious. Because of love for God, he did not flee the raging Jews: because of his love of neighbor he interceded for those stoning him. Because of love he convinced the erring of their errors, that they might be corrected; because of love, he prayed for those stoning him that they might not be punished. Supported by the strength of charity, he overcame Saul, who was so cruelly raging against him; and him whom he had as a persecutor on earth, he deserved to have as a companion in heaven.
St. Fulgentius, Third Sermon on St. Stephen

Countries around the world list St. Stephen’s Day as an official public holiday including Austria, Slovakia, Germany, Canada, Finland, Poland, Italy, Ireland, England, Australia, Czech Republic, Croatia, the region of Catalonia, and many others. Often, people of these countries will celebrate the holiday by spending time with close family and friends, and having meals together.

In Finland, in addition to spending time with family and friends, St. Stephen’s Day is celebrated with sleigh rides or horse rides, as St. Stephen was known as the patron saint of horses. These rides generally take place in small towns and rural areas.

One of the oldest folk-songs of Sweden, Saint Stephen was Riding (Staffansvisa) is sung at Christmastide in honor of St. Stephen, telling the delightful “Miracle of the Cock.” According to this story, Herod would not believe Stephen when he was told that “One greater than thou has been born this holy night.” The proof of his words came when a roasted cock rose up out of the gravy and crowed as he had crowed at the break of day.

The Staffan of the song has the features of two entirely different personalities, those of the deacon, St. Stephen of Jerusalem, whose feast is celebrated on December 26 and therefore closely connected with Christmas, and those of the eleventh century missionary, Staffan, who traveled far in the north. The latter was killed by pagans; and an unbroken foal brought his body to Norrala, where a chapel was built over his grave. In all Germanic lands he became the patron of health and of horses, and being confused with St. Stephen of Jerusalem he shares in his honors on December 26, such as the “Stephen-Cup,” drunk to good health, and horseback rides around churches and through villages.

In Ireland, St. Stephen’s Day is known as the Day of the Wren. This day is an official holiday of Ireland. The Irish name is called Lá Fhéile Stiofán (Boxing Day) or Lá an Dreoilin (Wren Day). The Wren’s Day celebration began hundreds and hundreds of years ago. One explanation for Wren Day was that St. Stephen was in hiding from his enemies. Unfortunately, he was hiding near a wren. The wren’s chirping gave away St. Stephen’s hiding place and he was found. The wren, therefore, was to be captured and stoned to death, just as St. Stephen was stoned to death. Today, musicians travel from house to house in search of the wren. As they visit each house, they receive money, food or drink as they sing the wren song. This is just one version of the wren song found in an old Irish tale:

The wren, the wren, the king of all birds,
On St. Stephenses day he was caught in the furze;
Although he’s small, his family’s great,
So pray, good ladies, give us a trate.”

Catalonia is another region which celebrates St. Stephen’s Day. In this region, a festive luncheon is served with cannelloni stuffed with escudella i carn d’olla (leftover turkey meat from Christmas day dinner).

St. Stephen’s Day is also called Boxing Day. Boxing Day pertains to filling boxes with gifts to give to others. Countries which celebrate Boxing Day include UK, Australia, Canada, Wales, and other Commonwealth communities. This day is a national holiday in many of these countries.

The old English carol Good King Wenceslas tells how King Wenceslas went out on St. Stephen’s day to bring charity to the poor. The snow was covered with the blood of his freezing feet:

Heat was in the very sod which the saint had printed.

With St. Stephen as our teacher, we learn quickly that as Christ came to us on Christmas Day so we must follow in the footsteps of the holy martyrs in our way to God. Psalm 62, used on the feast of St. Stephen, is a first lesson to teach:

O God, Thou art my God: earnestly do I seek Thee, My soul thirsts for Thee, my flesh longs for Thee, like a dry and thirsty land, without water. So do I gaze upon Thee in the sanctuary, to see Thy might and Thy glory. . . .
Antiphon: My soul cleaves to Thee, because my flesh was stoned for Thee, my God.
Lauds for the feast of St. Stephen, 3rd Psalm and Antiphon

Prayer: Lord Jesus, you chose Stephen as the first deacon and martyr of your One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church. The heroic witness of his holy life and death reveals your continued presence among us. Through following the example of his living faith, and by his intercession, empower us by your Holy Spirit to live as witnesses to the faith in this New Missionary Age. No matter what our state in life, career or vocation, help us to proclaim, in both word and in deed, the fullness of the Gospel to a world which is waiting to be born anew in Jesus Christ. Pour out upon your whole Church, the same Holy Spirit which animated St Stephen, Martyr, to be faithful to the end, which is a beginning of life eternal in the communion of the Trinity.

Scripture: Acts 6:8-7:60

Resources:

Kennedy Adventures lessons
You might like this Sunday School lesson.
Another Bible class lesson.
Lesson and paper craft
Lesson and craft
Lesson on Acts 6-7
Story summary and activities
Recipes and activities (on right sidebar)
The Story of Stephen in multiple languages and activities
Rock Dough activity
Painting Rocks
Forgiveness Relay

Share7

Pin30

37 Shares

You might also like:

Celebrating Winter Solstice

This post may contain affiliate links. See disclosure. Check out my suggested resources.

December 16, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

The winter solstice which falls on or around December 21, marks an important milestone. It’s the shortest day of the year and the longest night of the year, signaling a powerful transition point between seasons.

“Solstice” comes from two Latin words: sol meaning “sun” and sistere meaning “to stand still” because it appeared as though the sun and moon had stopped moving across the sky.

Other names are “midwinter,” the “extreme of winter,” or the “shortest day.”

The birth of Jesus at the solstice is symbolic of the birth of the spiritual sun within, that we are not separate from our Creator, as we have been conditioned to believe to feel that we are less than divine.

Many visit Stonehenge in UK and Newgrange in Ireland for Solstice festivals.

Saint Thomas

St. Thomas is known for his doubts, and for demanding physical proof of the wounds of Christ’s Crucifixion. He was the first person to explicitly acknowledge the divinity of Jesus.

St. Thomas died on December 21, 72, in Mylapore, India.

This was traditionally the feast of St. Thomas the Apostle; his feast is now celebrated on July 3rd.

St. Thomas day, St. Thomas gray,
The longest night and shortest day.

In Tyrol and in parts of Canada, this was considered “pie day,” with meat pies baked for the family, then cooled and frozen. The pies are saved for the feast of the Epiphany, and are thawed, reheated, and eaten.

In England, this was a day of charity, when the poor women went a “Thomasing” or begging. Wheat was cooked and distributed for the poor.

A seven-day celebration culminates every year on December 21, when many Christians in Guatemala observe Saint Thomas’ Day in honor of Thomas the Apostle.

Celebrate doubts, questions, concerns. Discuss with family, friends, or a prayer group.

A lovely lesson from Kennedy Adventures.

Blue Christmas

It’s natural and normal to feel a little down this time of year.

Many of us feel the loss of loved ones more poignantly during the holidays. Some struggle with all the hustle and bustle and commercialism. Mental illness becomes sharper with all the holiday expectations.

There are many quiet and dimmed “Blue Christmas” services and meetings for those who are depressed, lonely, traumatized, or just want something different than the joyful and bright holiday events.

The winter solstice represents the seasonal “dark night of the soul.”

We are a reflection of the universe that surrounds us. What takes place outside of us, must also take place within us.

The Dark Night of the Soul (from Spanish) by Saint John of the Cross

Once in the dark of night,
Inflamed with love and yearning, I arose
(O coming of delight!)
And went, as no one knows,
When all my house lay long in deep repose

All in the dark went right,
Down secret steps, disguised in other clothes,
(O coming of delight!)
In dark when no one knows,
When all my house lay long in deep repose.

And in the luck of night
In secret places where no other spied
I went without my sight
Without a light to guide
Except the heart that lit me from inside.

It guided me and shone
Surer than noonday sunlight over me,
And led me to the one
Whom only I could see
Deep in a place where only we could be.

O guiding dark of night!
O dark of night more darling than the dawn!
O night that can unite
A lover and loved one,
Lover and loved one moved in unison.

And on my flowering breast
Which I had kept for him and him alone
He slept as I caressed
And loved him for my own,
Breathing an air from redolent cedars blown.

And from the castle wall
The wind came down to winnow through his hair
Bidding his fingers fall,
Searing my throat with air
And all my senses were suspended there.

I stayed there to forget.
There on my lover, face to face, I lay.
All ended, and I let
My cares all fall away
Forgotten in the lilies on that day.

Sing the carol: “In the Bleak Midwinter.”

Music: “Cranham,” Gustav Theodore Holst, 1906. Words: Christina Georgina Rossetti, 1872.

In the bleak midwinter, frosty wind made moan,
Earth stood hard as iron, water like a stone;
Snow had fallen, snow on snow, snow on snow,
In the bleak midwinter, long ago.

Our God, Heaven cannot hold Him, nor earth sustain;
Heaven and earth shall flee away when He comes to reign.
In the bleak midwinter a stable place sufficed
The Lord God Almighty, Jesus Christ.

Enough for Him, whom cherubim, worship night and day,
Breastful of milk, and a mangerful of hay;
Enough for Him, whom angels fall before,
The ox and ass and camel which adore.

Angels and archangels may have gathered there,
Cherubim and seraphim thronged the air;
But His mother only, in her maiden bliss,
Worshipped the beloved with a kiss.

What can I give Him, poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd, I would bring a lamb;
If I were a Wise Man, I would do my part;
Yet what I can I give Him: give my heart.

Celebrate the Light

In the Northern Hemisphere, the winter solstice marks the shortest day of the year. It will probably be dark outside by 4 PM, which can feel a little depressing. It’s no surprise for many cultures, taking advantage of the light is so important on this day.

The seaside city of Brighton in the UK has an annual Burning of Clocks festival. People wear costumes representing clocks and the passage of time carry lanterns made of wood and paper to the beach, where the lanterns are burned in a huge bonfire, symbolizing the wishes, hopes, and fears that will be passed into the flames.
In the town of Penzance, people wear carnival costumes, “guisers” parade with lanterns, creating a “river of fire” meant to celebrate the return of the sun.

Try to get outside while it’s still light out to connect with nature.

Take a walk, go for a hike, bundle up and enjoy your coffee, tea, or cocoa while sitting outside for a little bit.

We like to drive around and look at light displays.

Once the sun goes down, turn off all the electric lights and spend a moment or the rest of the evening in darkness.

After you’ve honored the sun’s light, light some candles with loved ones. It’s a great night for Hygge.

Bonfires are common on this night to chase away the darkness. Oak logs are traditional at Yule feasts.

Cleanse, purge, donate, and volunteer. Helping others is an ancient solstice custom, and is not just limited to modern Muslim, Jewish, and Christian religious members.

Watch all through the night. Attend a prayer service or watch the stars and sky. Contemplate and meditate. Welcome back the light of dawn.

Reflect and think about how you might recreate yourself in the new year.

Renewal. Write down things you want to let go of, then toss the paper into the fire as a symbol of release.

Bell ringing is traditional. Attend a bell choir concert or sing Jingle Bells with bells and tambourines.

The orange is a symbol of the return of the sun. Make orange pomanders to celebrate the solstice and decorate and freshen the home for the holidays. Lots of amazing citrus sales this week in stores! Now you know why.

Make sun ornaments.

Make “snowball cookies” – fun, easy treats like Danish wedding cookies.

Decorate with evergreens, berries, and natural elements.

Read books about the solstice.

You might also like:

Other resources:

Dark Night of the Soul Step Sheet from Practicing the Way
Hope in Darkness Summary from Center for Action and Contemplation
Dark Night of the Soul by Contemplative Monk
What is the “Dark Night of the Soul”? by Mark Cowper-Smith

How do you celebrate the light?

Share4

Pin29

33 Shares

You might also like:

Celebrating St. Barbara

This post may contain affiliate links. See disclosure. Check out my suggested resources.

December 3, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

St. Barbara is a 3rd century saint whose story is a mix of reality and legend.

She is the patron saint of armourers, artillerymen, architects, mathematicians, and miners. St. Barbara is one of the Fourteen Holy Helpers, venerated because their intercession is believed to be particularly effective against diseases. Barbara is often invoked against thunder, lightning, and fire, and all accidents arising from explosions of gunpowder.

We saw statues and little altars for St. Barbara in a German gemstone mine we visited!

Barbara’s Story

Barbara, the daughter of a rich Pagan named Dioscorus, was carefully guarded by her father who kept her locked up in a tower in order to preserve her from the outside world.

Barbara secretly became a Christian and dedicated her life to knowing the true God and making Him known to others. She chose a life of consecrated virginity. She rejected all offers of marriage.

Dioscorus allowed for Barbara to leave her tower, hoping some freedom would change her attitude. Barbara used this opportunity to meet other Christians. They taught her about the Lord Jesus, the Holy Trinity and the Church. A priest from Alexandria, disguised as a merchant, baptized Barbara into Christ and His Church.

Her father had a private bath-house built for her. The original architectural plans were for two windows to be built, but, while her father was away, Barbara advised the workers to make a third window to symbolize the Trinity.

Barbara’s bathhouse became a place full of healing power and many miracles occurred there. St. Simeon Metaphrastes even compared it to the stream of Jordan.

After Dioscorus returned, Barbara informed him she had become a Christian and would never marry. Full of rage, her father grabbed his sword and went to strike her. Before he could do so, Barbara ran off.

Her father chased after her, but was abruptly stopped when a hill blocked his way. The hill opened and hid Barbara within a crevice. Dioscorus searched and searched for his daughter, but could not find her.

Dioscorus came across two shepherds and asked them if they had seen her. The first denied, but the second betrayed Barbara. Some legends indicate that he was turned to stone and his flock was turned into locusts.

Her father took her to the provincial prefect, who ordered her to be tortured and beheaded. Dioscorus himself performed the execution and, upon his return home, was struck by lightning and reduced to ashes.

She eventually met her end via martyrdom on December 4, 267 AD.

Her symbols are flowers and breads.

Celebrations around the world

To celebrate St. Barbara’s Day, known as “Eid il-Burbara,” Christians in Jordan, Syria, and Lebanon prepare and share a dessert made from boiled wheat, rose water, cinnamon, anise and nuts. This aromatic sweet represents the wheat fields where St. Barbara hid from her father, who kept her locked in a tower because she had converted to Christianity in A.D. 235. Middle Eastern Christians believe that, before her death, St. Barbara escaped her tower prison, and freshly planted wheat fields miraculously rose up around her, concealing her path.

St. Barbara’s feast marks the beginning of the Christmas decorating season for Lebanese Christians. Lebanese families also plant wheat grains, lentils, chickpeas and other legumes with the idea that in three weeks, the sprouts will be plentiful, accenting the Nativity scene under the Christmas tree.

Some believers take cherry branches into their homes Dec. 4. If the “Barbara branch” blooms on Christmas, it is considered to bring good fortune. This custom recalls the prophesy in the Old Testament book of Isaiah: The Messiah will spring from the root of Jesse. Christians expectantly await Jesus Christ during Advent, and he will blossom or be born at Christmas.

From this tradition comes “Barbarazweig,” the German and Austrian custom of taking branches into the house Dec. 4, with hopes of a bloom on Christmas. In Central Europe, it is believed that the blooming branch signals a promise of marriage in the year ahead.

Families in the Provence region of France germinate wheat on beds of wet cotton in three separate saucers, keeping them moist throughout Advent. When the contents of the three saucers — which symbolize the three persons of the Trinity — are green, they are used to decorate the creche, usually placed under the Christmas tree.

Celebrating St. Barbara

Forced paperwhite bulbs are often displayed the first week of December. It’s hard to find cherry blossoms, so silk sprays can be displayed.

Sprout grains. Cook with grains or bake breads.

St. Barbara’s feast day is an awesome opportunity to break out some fireworks! As the patron of firework manufacturers, families can remember St. Barbara by having a fun with fireworks or firework-related entertainment like sparklers and noise makers.

We like to celebrate the rhythms of the year and slow down during the holiday season.

A lovely lesson from Kennedy Adventures.

Share5

Pin16

21 Shares

You might also like:

Holiday Communication

This post may contain affiliate links. See disclosure. Check out my suggested resources.

December 2, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

The kids are watching and learning how to behave based on what they observe the adults doing and saying.

During the holidays, sometimes we have to just put our differences aside and try to get along.

7 tips to self-regulate and communicate for a happier holiday season and beyond

1. Make a List and Check It Twice.

Make a list of the things your relatives, especially those on the other side of the aisle, have done for you and what they mean to you. During your holiday conversations, validate the feelings and emotions of both those you agree with and those you do not. You can say, Interesting, I hear you, that must feel hard for you. Assume and remember the best intentions of those around you. As you express your opinions, remember to focus on the kindness, compassion and respect your relatives have shown you for years, their acts of love and affection. John Gottman’s work shows that it takes 5 positive interactions to overcome one negative interaction and therefore it’s crucial to remember that what you say can damage your relationship.

2. Walk in Someone Else’s Shoes.

Step into your relatives’ shoes and try to understand their point of view. Consider What could be going on in the other person’s life? What is the other person’s situation? What do I know about their motivation, values and intentions? Don’t make assumptions about their motivations and perspective, instead listen and reflect, reserve judgement and try to hear their point of view. You might come to find insight you did not anticipate.

3. Watch Your Tone and Dismissive Comments.

Emotions often bubble up into our tone and our comments. Name-calling and zingers will not build a bridge to understanding. If your intention is to speak to your family with respect, take steps like breathing deeply and pausing before responding to ensure your tone remains neutral. Avoid using words like “always”, “never” and avoid bold statements to make a point. Make a plan in advance to respond to someone who does not follow this advice and may become aggressive to you, e.g. by saying “I really hope we can keep this conversation respectful,” or “I am hearing you becoming frustrated, let’s continue to try to understand each other.”

4. Listen.

Real active listening means you are interested and you are hearing the other person’s point of view without judgement. As you speak with your family, make eye contact and check your body language and facial expressions. Try to avoid interrupting or simply listening for your chance to jump in and speak your opinion. A good exercise in advance of the holiday is to consider what speaking compassionately looks like; it means showing interest in the other person’s feelings and opinions, being curious and listening to the person so you can relieve their suffering and be a shoulder to lean on. A way to neutralize the conversation is to use reflective listening which simply involves recapping what the person said and making empathetic comments like That must be hard, or I hear you or I am hearing that this was very painful for you.

5. Manage Emotions Rather Than Letting Them Manage You.

When you feel upset, you are flooded with emotions that often hijack your brain and affect your behavior. Be aware when you start to experience emotional flooding your body. Pay attention to your body signals, ask yourself what you typically feel in your body, stomach and face when your emotions are rising. What do you feel like when you are angry but in control, anxious, and what do you feel like when you are losing control? Do you get flushed, feel a stomach ache, maybe tingle in your arms and legs? By breathing in and out, pausing before speaking, chewing slowly and mindfully, placing your feet on the ground and noticing how your legs feels and grounding yourself, you can help to use mindfulness to manage your emotions.

6. Don’t Try to Change Anyone’s Mind.

Holidays are not for influencing or changing someone’s mind and the conversation is not meant to be a showstopper full of uncomfortable topics. Don’t try to educate or change someone’s mind. There is no need to cajole, shame, scold, coerce or try to change the mind of your family members. Instead, take the time together to ask questions to better understand their side of things; you can decide how you feel about it once the visit is over and you have some physical and emotional distance.

7. Return to common ground.

There are often areas where you agree or where you have a mutual fondness, even if you have to reach as far back as a shared favorite movie or family memory. Reconnect with that touchstone when you need to. That can only come with listening, really hearing the perspective of another person and trying to support another.

The seemingly inevitable family feuds endemic to “the most wonderful time of the year” can be avoided by self-regulating and communicating, says social skills coach Caroline Maguire, PCC, M.Ed., who has taught thousands of people of all ages to cultivate good relationships and communicate.

Maguire says empathy and kindness are becoming lost arts, so she teaches self-regulation: how to manage your body, mind and emotions in pursuit of a goal, which allows you to resist impulses, control your words and actions, calm yourself when you are upset, hold back a comment and resist using your fists instead of your words.

It is the ability to remember your intention to be kind and then manage what you say and do so you follow through on that intention. It is an essential skill in all aspects of life and people with the ability to self-regulate are happier and achieve more of their goals.

Pin1

1 Shares

You might also like:

Celebrate Your Child During the Holidays

This post may contain affiliate links. See disclosure. Check out my suggested resources.

December 2, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

Guest post by Annette Hines :

The holiday season is not an easy time when you’ve lost a child. It’s a time of year when you get together to celebrate family. And lots of things happen that accentuate that loss. You see people that you don’t normally see all year such as grandparents, aunts and uncles. You take time off work so you have more down time and time out of your daily routine to think about that loss. It’s also particularly time for celebration of children with gift giving and sweets!

In my world, it’s even more meaningful and charged with emotion because my daughter death anniversary is November 18th, so it leads off the holiday season with a bang! For me it has been six years now. Our new holiday traditions are evolving, and everybody’s new holiday journeys will be their own for sure. Also, I am not an expert and by no means am I trying to offer clinical advice. Although, in my law practice I have had the opportunity to speak with many families who have been through a loss like mine. It’s not an experience you want to share, but it is also comforting to not be alone, especially this time of year.

5 ways to remember and celebrate your child during the holidays:

1. Telling Stories of Remembrance

This is my favorite and best advice. I love love love telling stories of “remember when Elizabeth laughed so hard that the sweet potatoes came flying out of her mouth and then the dog ate them off the floor!?” Ha,Ha! Pulling out videos and photo albums can help with the memories. Some family members and friends may not have known your child that well, or at all, so this will help them enormously in both supporting you and sharing in your joys and sorrows. I love the idea that it keeps Elizabeth’s memory alive because I am always afraid of the idea that people are going to forget her and the world is going to move on without her.

2. A Celebration Meal That Includes Your Child’s Favorite Food Items

In our family, I still serve some of Elizabeth’s favorite things on certain holidays: Christmas breakfast has pancakes, and Easter will definitely have a ham. For many families, food is part of the tradition and food is love! It definitely is for us.

It also includes eating popcorn, pizza potato chips and onion dip while watching our favorite holiday movies: Christmas Vacation, and Planes, Trains and Automobiles.

3. Hanging Decorations That Your Child Made

Thank you so much to every teacher, aide and nurse who helped Elizabeth make every Christmas ornament, Mother’s Day Card and Thanksgiving Poem. I pull them out and go through them. Then I hang them throughout the house to have her close to me during the Holidays.

4. Doing For Others

During this time of sorrow – and it is always a time of sorrow for me – it really helps me to give to others. It’s a fact that getting up out of our own misery to help others can be just what we need to beat the holiday blues. Sign up to serve a holiday meal, deliver presents or warm clothes at your church or temple, or sing holiday songs at a local nursing home. Find some way to give back to your local community.

5. Self-Care is Very Important Too

Please be sure to take time for yourself as well. You may need time to be sad and grieve on your own. Be sure to seek counsel if that is in your self-care routine, get lots of sleep, exercise and eat well. The holidays can be stressful under the best of circumstances. Grief can be tricky and sneaks up on you!

Practice the art of saying no. Let someone else cook dinner for 20 people! It can be very stressful to do all that work, and as mentioned previously, seeing people that you haven’t seen all year who are naturally going to want to ask you about how you are doing. I used to get anxious for weeks before the holidays about what people were going to say or ask. And then I would be sleepless for days cooking and cleaning to get ready for the day.

It was a recipe for disaster! I was tired and sad and on edge. And of course, I would end up either being completely sad and withdrawn or blowing up at people. Not good!

This year, what is working for me is a change of scenery. My husband and I have decided to go the mountains with our puppy for a holiday getaway hiking extravaganza. I hope you find your way to both old and new traditions that work for you and your family.

Annette Hines, Esq., is the author of Butterflies and Second Chances: A Mom’s Memoir of Love and Loss. She is a powerhouse advocate for the special needs community. Not only has she founded the Special Needs Law Group of Massachusetts, PC, specializing in special needs estate planning, where special needs families compromise 80 percent of the firm’s clients, Hines brings personal experience with special needs to her practice, as the mother of two daughters, one of whom passed away from Mitochondrial disease in November 2013. This deep understanding of special needs fuels her passion for quality special needs planning and drives her dedication to the practice. For more information, please visit, https://specialneedscompanies.com/ and connect with her on Facebook, @SpecialNeedsLawGroup and listen to her podcast, Parenting Impossible – The Special Needs Survival Podcast.

0 Shares

You might also like:

Gift Guides

This post may contain affiliate links. See disclosure. Check out my suggested resources.

November 28, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

I try to recommend items that we love and currently use or have used when my kids were little.

Gift Guides for Everyone

Book Lists

Books for Every Season

Holiday Books

Books by Topic

Amazing Amazon

What is the best present you ever received?

Share3

Pin26

29 Shares

You might also like:

Introvert Holiday Survival Guide

This post may contain affiliate links. See disclosure. Check out my suggested resources.

November 25, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert 11 Comments

The decorations are for sale in stores before Halloween and Christmas music blasts everywhere on or even before November 1.

Christmas in America is all about commercialism. It’s about rushing, doing, more. I kinda hate it.

As an introvert, I really do dread the holidays. They wear me out. I try to be bright and cheery for my kids, but I really would love to hibernate from Halloween until about Mid-March. I often wake up early or go to bed late just to get some alone time.

As a military family, we’ve seldom been near family to visit over the holidays. While in a way, this relieves me of the potential stress, it also makes me feel very, very guilty.

We visited my husband’s mom at Christmas the year after we married. I was worried about her since it was her first holiday alone since his dad had passed in April. Then she passed the following April, so I’m so glad we went.

I invited my parents to visit the kids and me last Christmas while my husband was deployed. They’re getting older and I worry how many more opportunities we will have. It was actually mostly pleasant.

What’s an introvert to do with all the expectations that come with the holidays?

Priority

Everyone has her favorite and least favorite aspects of holidays. What’s yours?

Discover your priority for the season.

Be mindful of what you’re doing, giving, having during the holidays.

Give to charity or volunteer. Try new recipes. Travel. Offer experiences instead of presents. Join a cookie or ornament swap.

Save money, time, and effort by forgoing card sending. It’s also more ethical and less wasteful. Send texts or social media greetings, or individual emails and online cards.

Take time to get outside in nature to unwind and think. There’s no bad weather, only bad clothing choices!

Make time for selfcare. I take a very hot Epsom salt bath almost every evening with chamomile or lavender tea. It really makes a difference.

The Thanksgiving holiday is rather a disappointment for me. We used to travel over the long weekend. We went to Prague and Porto and Venice.

We’ve traveled to Chicago and Maui and Rome over Christmas.

We’ve lived in so many different places as a military family that travel was a priority until the kids asked to stay home with a Christmas tree and home-cooked dinner.

Focus

Each year, I focus on something different.

We’ve traveled over holidays. That really eased up a lot of stress for me.

Some years, I really get into the Advent readings with my family.

Other years, I decorate all out. My front yard was a zoo last year with light up animals.

We often go to a local drive-through Christmas park to look at the decorations.

We went to see The Nutcracker ballet a couple years ago.

We try new recipes during the holidays, but not on the actual day in case of disappointment for tradition.

Tradition

I realize that I’m making memories for my kids.

What are your favorite memories of the holidays? Do that for yourself and your family.

It’s all about the food for us.

While I don’t make a lot of sweets, we really do love the fancy dinners.

I roast a turkey breast for Thanksgiving. I make the most wonderful herb sausage cornbread dressing. Two of my kids don’t like turkey so much. What is up with that?!

The kids get Advent calendars. Everyone gets chocolate. My son and husband share the Star Wars Lego. This year, the kids asked for Yu-Gi-Oh! My teen gets a bath bomb or makeup one.

We celebrate Saint Nicholas. We do stockings for St. Nick with chocolate orange candies and small gifts. This has relieved a lot of pressure for Christmas Eve and Day.

We celebrate Hanukkah with roast beef. When Hanukkah falls mid-December instead of during Christmas week, it’s extra special because it’s like we celebrate more and longer. I seldom can do eight nights of presents, but I try to make it special with a nice family gift.

We have prime rib and Irish ham for Christmas. My youngest daughter really loves the slow roasted ham.

With twice baked potatoes. They’re a favorite!

We also look forward to ham au gratin potatoes as leftovers!

I try to purchase my children an ornament each year so they will have a starter box of their very own Christmas when they grow up.

We almost always get new winter pajamas. And lots of books.

We read lots of holidays books and watch fun holiday movies every year.

We have a simple celebration for New Year’s.

Our holiday season ends with Epiphany.

Delegate

Trusting my kids is a huge part of sanity over the holidays.

While my husband has a panic attack when they carry his grandmother’s china dishes and my crystal butter dish to and from the dining table, I know they can handle it. They take great care with these items. And they’re just things. Someday, it will all be theirs.

My kids always wanted to help put up our artificial Christmas tree when they were very little. I think they considered it a fun puzzle with the colored branch tips.

Nowadays, I bring the big duct-taped box out of the cellar and let them have at it. They’re plenty old enough and do a great job putting it up and pulling it down to store away for another year. My husband and I usually string the lights. We all help sort and hang the ornaments.

The kids completely decorated the front of the house during deployment. It looked like a holiday zoo! I hardly had to help at all. They were amazing.

My middle daughter is quickly becoming self-proficient in the kitchen. She’s in charge of any potato dish. She also sets the table just lovely. I never have to check the placement of a fork or wine glass with her!

My husband is in charge of the prime rib. My son loves cooking meats – frying, grilling, all of it. He loves thermometers! He wants to work in a butcher shop when he’s older.

Let it go

I don’t go to holiday parties.

Most of my husband’s work obligations don’t include me anyway. Our street has an adults-only progressive dinner, but I’d rather spend time with my family than drunk overgrown frat boys. For unavoidable events where it’s important to make an appearance, know when and how to leave as early as possible without seeming rude.

We don’t go to church anymore. I kinda miss the advent readings and candle lighting and midnight singing. Years ago, the church we attended did a fun ladies ornament exchange. But I don’t miss the stress and drama at all.

I really hate shopping, even throughout the year. It’s not hard for me to say no to shopping in November and December. I shop online all year round. I save money with cash back apps. Giving experiences is better as my kids get older.

Declutter before the presents arrive so it’s less stress. One in, one out is our flexible rule. We don’t give lots, but try to limit presents to about four with this little poem.

We do a few gifts within our immediate family. No gifts for extended family. I don’t send cards. I absolutely don’t send braggy annual newsletters, not even on social media. This is all for my sanity and for ethical reasons.

What do you want your family to remember about the holidays?

You might also like:

Share2

Pin39

41 Shares

You might also like:

Holiday Blues

This post may contain affiliate links. See disclosure. Check out my suggested resources.

November 18, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

With the holidays upon us it’s easy for us to get caught up in the rush of it all. While we may be cooking, shopping, and enjoying holiday events, there are others, many of whom are in our very own circles, having a tougher time.

Most holiday stress and anxiety come from:

Gifts
Expectations
Overwhelm

We can reduce our gift-giving and offer experiences or fewer things.

We can simplify our expectations and stop comparing and refuse to look at Pinterest.

We can say no to situations or things that are not priority.

5 Kinds of People Most Likely to Get the Holiday Blues and How to Help:

1. Divorced or widowed

Loss is a sad, life-changing event at any time of the year.

However, it tends to be harder when everyone around you is joyful celebrating the holidays and you feel it’s an effort to get out of bed.

If someone in your circles is going through a major loss and life transition, be supportive and understanding.

They are grieving and mourning and are especially sensitive around the holidays. It’s important that they feel included but don’t be offended if they choose to opt out of certain events.

Checking in and offering them the option to participate in whatever they want, when they want is a great way to help. Love them through it.

2. Entrepreneurs

The holidays could be stressful for small business owners because so much rides on the end of year.

They may be fretting over their profits (or lack thereof), the goals they didn’t reach, and the many things still to do.

They feel overwhelmed and when they are expected to shop, entertain and be present for their families, they may be short tempered and anxious.

The best way to help the busy entrepreneur is to make their life easier in any way possible. If they can’t make it to a family dinner, tell them your door is open for dessert. Oftentimes they feel guilty and obligated which only adds to their frustration.

Also consider that these worker-bees are conflicted. When they are working, they miss their families and when they are with family, they are thinking of work.

3. Caretakers

Adults who are caretakers to their chronically ill children, relatives, or elderly parents are incredibly overwhelmed and often overlooked.

As a caretaker, they always have to consider the well-being of their patient. They can’t just get up and go.

Caretakers may feel resentful, isolated and stuck during the holidays which leads to conflicted feelings of resentment and guilt. They also believe they have to be hands on managing everything.

It’s important to lighten the caretakers load by offering support even if it means asking them how they are doing.

Be patient and ask the caretaker what they need. It could be something as simple as having food delivered to their home to free up time for other tasks.

4. Recovering addicts

Recovering from addiction is hard. Period.

But it’s harder when holiday festivities are filled with friends and family drinking everything from spiked eggnog to champagne.

Understand that those in recovery from substance abuse are hyper-sensitive about being judged. They feel as if all eyes are on them and that pressure may trigger the desire to use drugs or alcohol to soothe their anxiety. When they aren’t fully recovered, they may anticipate possible “landmines” and avoid them. They may choose to stay to themselves and observe more and participate less. They might opt out of larger family gatherings that are too overwhelming.

Offer an open invitation and remind them they are welcome whenever they are ready.

Offer a safe celebration inclusive of all – with no temptation for alcohol, drugs, or gambling.

A balance of love, support, and acceptance is what they are in most need of.

5. Children of divorce

Divorce means two separate holidays at two different places and kids often feel overwhelmed having to double up.

It’s incredibly important for parents to agree civilly on where the kids are going during the holidays and all the logistical details.

Kids want to feel safe and secure. They don’t want to feel as if they are the expected to be rushed here and there because their parents chose to divorce.

It could be unsettling to younger kids and teens may isolate and rebel against any family events as they are sorting out their own emotions as they get used to a new normal.

Don’t burden kids with guilt trips or overdo it with presents to make up for the stress. Just be honest and supportive and loving.

You really want to establish a game plan for the holidays and if possible, stick to it every year.

The holidays can be a stressful time of year for many of us. It’s a time when we must be aware and extra kind to those on the fringes.

You might also like:

Quotes from Dr. Sanam Hafeez, a NYC based licensed clinical psychologist, teaching faculty member at the prestigious Columbia University Teachers College and the founder and Clinical Director of Comprehensive Consultation Psychological Services.

Pin15

15 Shares

You might also like:

Celebrating Candlemas

This post may contain affiliate links. See disclosure. Check out my suggested resources.

January 28, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

I know everybody is going on and on about groundhogs, but I think Candlemas is a much more beautiful and meaningful holiday.

Candlemas occurs 40 days after Christmas. Candlemas is the most ancient of all the festivals honoring Mary.

The Presentation of Jesus at the Temple is the ceremony described in the Gospel of Luke, combining the purification rite with the redemption of the firstborn:

²²And when the days of her purification according to the law of Moses were accomplished, they brought him to Jerusalem, to present him to the Lord;

²³(As it is written in the law of the Lord, Every male that openeth the womb shall be called holy to the Lord;)

²⁴And to offer a sacrifice according to that which is said in the law of the Lord, A pair of turtledoves, or two young pigeons.

²⁵And, behold, there was a man in Jerusalem, whose name was Simeon; and the same man was just and devout, waiting for the consolation of Israel: and the Holy Ghost was upon him.

²⁶And it was revealed unto him by the Holy Ghost, that he should not see death, before he had seen the Lord’s Christ.

²⁷And he came by the Spirit into the temple: and when the parents brought in the child Jesus, to do for him after the custom of the law,

²⁸Then took he him up in his arms, and blessed God, and said,

²⁹Lord, now lettest thou thy servant depart in peace, according to thy word:

³⁰For mine eyes have seen thy salvation,

³¹Which thou hast prepared before the face of all people;

³²A light to lighten the Gentiles, and the glory of thy people Israel.

³³And Joseph and his mother marvelled at those things which were spoken of him.

³⁴And Simeon blessed them, and said unto Mary his mother, Behold, this child is set for the fall and rising again of many in Israel; and for a sign which shall be spoken against;

³⁵(Yea, a sword shall pierce through thy own soul also,) that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.

³⁶And there was one Anna, a prophetess, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Aser: she was of a great age, and had lived with an husband seven years from her virginity;

³⁷And she was a widow of about fourscore and four years, which departed not from the temple, but served God with fastings and prayers night and day.

³⁸And she coming in that instant gave thanks likewise unto the Lord, and spake of him to all them that looked for redemption in Jerusalem.

Luke 2:22-38

I love the Nunc Dimittis. There are lovely works of art and music by Bach commemorating this time.

History:

The earliest reference to specific liturgical rites surrounding the feast are by the nun Egeria, during her pilgrimage to the Holy Land (381–384).

The Emperor Justinian I, after a terrible plague, ordered a period of fasting and prayer throughout the entire Empire in 541 and thanksgiving in 542.

In Rome, the feast appears in the Gelasian Sacramentary, a manuscript collection of the seventh and eighth centuries associated with Pope Gelasius I.

The tenth-century Benedictional of St. Æthelwold, bishop of Winchester, has a formula used for blessing the candles.

It was the traditional day to remove the cattle from the hay meadows, and from the field that was to be ploughed and sown that spring.

References to it are common in later medieval and early Modern literature; Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night is recorded as having its first performance on Candlemas Day 1602.

It was one of the Scottish quarter days, at which debts were paid and law courts were in session, until a change in the law in 1991.

In Irish homes, there are many rituals revolving around welcoming St. Brigid into the home on Imbolc with candles, wheat, and milk. She was seen by Celtic Christians as the midwife of Christ and “Mary of the Gael.” In Ireland and Scotland, Brigid is the “foster mother of Jesus.”

In Poland, the feast is called Święto Matki Bożej Gromnicznej (Feast of Our Lady of Thunder). This name refers to the candles that are blessed on this day, called gromnice, since these candles are lit during thunderstorms and placed in windows to ward off storm damage.

The Western term Candlemas refers to the practice where a priest blesses candles for use throughout the year.

Some Christians observe the practice of leaving Christmas decorations up until Candlemas.

“If Candlemas Day is clear and bright,
winter will have another bite.
If Candlemas Day brings cloud and rain,
winter is gone and will not come again.”

“Down with the rosemary, and so
Down with the bays and mistletoe;
Down with the holly, ivy, all,
Wherewith ye dress’d the Christmas Hall”
~Robert Herrick (1591–1674), Ceremony upon Candlemas Eve

Moch maduinn Bhride, Thig an nimhir as an toll; Cha bhoin mise ris an nimhir, Cha bhoin an nimhir rium.
(Early on Bride’s morn, the serpent will come from the hollow I will not molest the serpent, nor will the serpent molest me)
Thig an nathair as an toll, la donn Bride Ged robh tri traighean dh’ an t-sneachd air leachd an lair.
(The serpent will come from the hollow on the brown day of Bridget Though there should be three feet of snow on the flat surface of the ground)
~Carmina Gadelica

Celebrating Candlemas:

Eat crêpes! Crêpes or pancakes, with their round shape and golden color reminiscent of the solar disc, refer to the return of Spring after the dark and cold of Winter.
Candles
Read books
Take down Christmas decorations
Look at weather predictions
Make candle holders