My review for No More Faking Fine: Ending the Pretending by Esther Fleece, published by Zondervan.

Description:

If you’ve ever been given empty clichés during challenging times, you know how painful it can feel to be misunderstood by well-meaning people. Far too often, it seems the response we get to our hurt and disappointment is to suck it up, or pray it away.

But Scripture reveals a God who meets us where we are, not where we pretend to be.

No More Faking Fine is your invitation to get gut-level honest with God through the life-giving language of lament. Lament, a practice woven throughout Scripture, is a prayer that God never ignores, never silences, and never wastes. As author Esther Fleece says, “Lament is the unexpected pathway to true intimacy with God, and with those around us.”

Esther learned this the hard way, by believing she could shut down painful emotions that haunted her from a broken past she tried to forget on her fast track to success. But in silencing her pain, she robbed herself of the opportunity to be healed. Maybe you’ve done the same.

No More Faking Fine is your permission to lament—to give voice to the hurt, frustration, and disappointment you’ve kept inside and silenced for too long. Drawing from careful biblical study and hard-won insight, Esther reveals how to use God’s own language to draw closer to Him as He leads us through any darkness into His marvelous light.

My Review:

This book was quite interesting to me.

I agree that many people, even Christians can’t handle laments. Most of us are silenced and reduced to “faking fine.” No one really wants to know anything about the negative. But everyone seems to be a counselor and offers advice that’s unwanted and unneeded.

I couldn’t relate to the author’s neverending supply of supportive friends who helped her all along the way with her issues. I found myself wanting to feel more sorry for her lack of relationship with her family, but I had some questions. She left her brother out of her story almost altogether. How did he react to events?

I couldn’t relate to the somewhat shallow craving for shopping and closets full of shoes. I don’t lament things. I’m not into prosperity gospel. And who gets to go on a long retreat to Alaska to heal? Almost none of us.

I think I was hoping for more of a workbook than a personal account. The book touches on a lot of good points about biblical laments in Psalms, Job, Lamentations. Some of the stories became repetitive and I think it could have been condensed a bit.

The book is a good commentary of realizing that many of us are not “just fine.”

About the Author:

Esther Fleece is an international speaker and writer on Millennials and faith, leadership, and family, recognized among Christianity Today’s “Top 50 Women Shaping the Church and Culture” and CNN’s “Five Women in Religion to Watch.” As founder and CEO of L&L Consulting,  she works to connect influential individuals and organizations to their mutual benefit.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookLook Bloggers book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

My review for The Pledge of a Lifetime: Her hope for connection. His guide through conflict. by Mark T. Oelze, MA, published by WestBow Press.

Description:

What is it about conflict that causes all of us to shy away? Why is it so difficult? What if there was a step-by-step process to guide us through conflict and create a deeper connection at the same time? And what if the principles learned could enhance all communication?

In The Pledge of a Lifetime, follow Jake and Lisa’s story and discover how to transform tense confrontations into rich conversations. Watch family dynamics improve as everyone works together to communicate in a manner governed by love.

From his years of conflict resolving experiences, Mark Oelze leads you into the counselor’s office between the covers of this book, where you will learn the keys to process any conflict, big or small. Fear no longer has to hold you back. Work the PLEDGE to build strong healthy communication with love as your highest goal!

My Review:

I could barely get through this book. I didn’t learn anything. It didn’t save my marriage. It didn’t teach me how to better communicate. It insulted my intelligence.

I didn’t like the book format of a fictional married couple in counseling. They were flat unlikeable characters. I couldn’t relate to their trite little issues that just stereotype men and women. I was done when the husband accused the wife of talking too much.

I didn’t like the fictional counselor. I thought he seemed tired and sarcastic and exasperated with the couple and that’s just rude.

The acrostic PLEDGE just regurgitates all the psychobabble that marriage counselors have given couples for decades. It’s nothing new, just packaged cute.

The end of each chapter has a summary of the “lessons” for each letter of the PLEDGE.

I suppose this book would be ok for married couples who are just experiencing a little bit of communication conflict, but not any major issues. This is not a book for marriages in crisis.

About the Author:

Mark Oelze has been a marriage and family counselor since 1985, helping couples process conflict in a manner that is completely governed by love. Married 33 years, he and his wife, Zerrin, teach the Madly In Love Marriage Conference. They have three grown children and live in Wichita, Kansas. Knowing the power of words, Mark and Zerrin have a passion to see intentional love shape the way we communicate.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookLook Bloggers book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

The kids and I just love Victuals: An Appalachian Journey, with Recipes by Ronni Lundy.

My Review:

Victuals is a photographic wonder, a delightful story about the history and current artists of Appalachian cookery. The recipes are rich and filling, full of seasonal and regional ingredients.

The heritage of Germans and Scots dot the North Georgia mountains where we would often take day trips or mini vacations. It was always fun to visit the bakeries and shops.

I grew up south of Atlanta, and most of my mother’s family are spread all over the valleys and plains of Georgia and the Carolinas. I can’t rightly claim this as my heritage, but many of the recipes are the same as what I grew up with in my grandmother’s and great aunt’s houses.

My girls especially loved the history and stories of the recipes. We now have names for some of our favorites that I make often: killed greens for fresh lettuces drizzled with seasoned bacon grease. Sallet (sautéed mixed greens) graces our table almost weekly. We all love Salmon Cakes.

We have some fun new recipe to try: Miner’s Goulash, Root & Sausage Pie, and some delectable desserts.

Some of the ingredients listed aren’t available where we currently live. Some ingredients are seasonal and regional. I’d love to visit some of the restaurants and shops listed in the book.

American cuisine is sometimes ridiculed by foodies, but there is a rich food culture in Appalachia that I am proud to call close to home.

About the Author:

Born in Corbin, Kentucky, Ronni Lundy has long chronicled the people of the hillbilly diaspora as a journalist and cookbook author. She is the former restaurant reviewer and music critic for The Courier-Journal in Louisville, former editor of Louisville Magazine, and has contributed to many national magazines. Her book Shuck Beans, Stack Cakes and Honest Fried Chicken was recognized by Gourmet magazine as one of six essential books on Southern cooking. In 2009, Lundy received the Southern Foodways Alliance Craig Claiborne Lifetime Achievement Award. She has contributed to Eating Well, Gourmet, Bon Appétit, Esquire, and other magazines.

Summary:

Victuals is an exploration of the foodways, people, and places of Appalachia. Written by Ronni Lundy, regarded as the most engaging authority on the region, the book guides us through the surprisingly diverse history–and vibrant present–of food in the Mountain South.

Victuals explores the diverse and complex food scene of the Mountain South through recipes, stories, traditions, and innovations. Each chapter explores a specific defining food or tradition of the region–such as salt, beans, corn (and corn liquor). The essays introduce readers to their rich histories and the farmers, curers, hunters, and chefs who define the region’s contemporary landscape. Sitting at a diverse intersection of cuisines, Appalachia offers a wide range of ingredients and products that can be transformed using traditional methods and contemporary applications. Through 80 recipes and stories gathered on her travels in the region, Lundy shares dishes that distill the story and flavors of the Mountain South.

Awards:

— Atlanta Journal-Constitution: Best Cookbooks of 2016
— Chicago Tribune: Best Cookbooks of 2016
— Cooking Light: Fall Cookbook Roundup, September issue
— Louisville Courier-Journal: Cookbook Gift Guide
— San Fransisco Chronicle: “Best of” Cookbook Roundup
— The Kitchn: Holiday Cookbook Roundup
— Tampa Bay Times: Cookbook Gift Guide
— Tasting Table: The Most Exciting New Cookbooks for Fall
— Tasting Table: Holiday Cookbook Gift Guide
— Wall Street Journal: Holiday Gift Guide: Food Books
— Washington Post: Best Cookbooks of 2016

I received this book from Blogging for Books for this review.

Hag-Seed by Margaret Atwood is an amazing portrayal of Shakespeare’s The Tempest.

Margaret Atwood’s brilliance shines as usual with a frame story of revenge.

Atwood is by far one of my favorite authors. I love how she turns phrases and delves into the minds of people affected by circumstances beyond their control. While most of her protagonists are women dealing with sexual politics, I love how she turns around The Tempest with, of course, a male main who seeks revenge against very real politicians and uses society’s dregs to win back his life. And in the end, he discovers that kindness and goodness is better than bitterness.

The Hogarth Shakespeare Series

For more than four hundred years, Shakespeare’s works have been performed, read, and loved throughout the world. They have been reinterpreted for each new generation, whether as teen films, musicals, science-fiction flicks, Japanese warrior tales, or literary transformations. The Hogarth Press was founded by Virginia and Leonard Woolf in 1917, with a mission to publish the best new writing of the age. In 2012, Hogarth was launched in London and New York to continue the tradition. The Hogarth Shakespeare project sees Shakespeare’s works retold by acclaimed and best selling novelists of today. The series launched in October 2015, and to date will be published in twenty countries.

About the book:

William Shakespeare’s The Tempest retold as Hag-Seed

Felix is at the top of his game as Artistic Director of the Makeshiweg Theatre Festival. His productions have amazed and confounded. Now he’s staging a Tempest like no other: not only will it boost his reputation, it will heal emotional wounds.

Or that was the plan. Instead, after an act of unforeseen treachery, Felix is living in exile in a backwoods hovel, haunted by memories of his beloved lost daughter, Miranda. And also brewing revenge.

After twelve years, revenge finally arrives in the shape of a theatre course at a nearby prison. Here, Felix and his inmate actors will put on his Tempest and snare the traitors who destroyed him. It’s magic! But will it remake Felix as his enemies fall?

Margaret Atwood’s novel take on Shakespeare’s play of enchantment, retribution, and second chances leads us on an interactive, illusion-ridden journey filled with new surprises and wonders of its own.

About the author:

Margaret Atwood, whose work has been published in thirty-five countries, is the author of more than forty books of fiction, poetry, and critical essays. In addition to The Handmaid’s Tale, her novels include Cat’s Eye, short-listed for the 1989 Booker Prize; Alias Grace, which won the Giller Prize in Canada and the Premio Mondello in Italy; The Blind Assassin, winner of the 2000 Booker Prize; Oryx and Crake, short-listed for the 2003 Man Booker Prize; The Year of the Flood; and her most recent, MaddAddam. She is the recipient of the Los Angeles Times Innovator’s Award, and lives in Toronto with the writer Graeme Gibson.

I received this book from Blogging for Books for this review.

The Wedding Shop by Rachel Hauck is a mysterious historical story within a story.

I love historical fiction. Sometimes, I do want a sappy love story to just lose myself in. This novel has two – a modern one and a flashback to an earlier time, during the Great Depression. And wouldn’t you know it – they’re all connected.

I started out a little disappointed in the writing. The plot was fine, moving along, though predictable. There were some editing issues and I had trouble with some modifiers, rereading several sentences to make sense of them.

More than halfway through, there are some fun surprises – twists and turns that are delightful and unexpected.

I was a little put off by the kissing scenes. They made me roll my eyes a bit.

The dialogue was stilted in many places, full of exaggerated Southern euphemisms and clichés.

I felt the ending was rushed, missing out important resolutions that left me wondering and could have easily been wrapped up with a few more pages of dialogue.

Overall, the book was interesting and offered hope, redemption, forgiveness. I look forward to the others in the series.

Book Description:

From The New York Times bestselling author of The Wedding Dress and The Wedding Chapel comes The Wedding Shop.

Two women separated by decades. Both set out to help others find their dreams when their own have crumbled.

It’s the early 1930s, but Cora Scott is walking in stride as a career woman after having inherited her great aunt’s wedding shop in Heart’s Bend, Tennessee, where brides come from as far away as Birmingham to experience her famed bridal treatment. Meanwhile, Cora is counting down the days until her own true love returns from the river to make her his bride. But days turn into months and months to years. All the while, Birch Good continues to woo Cora and try to show her that while he is solid and dependable, he can sweep her off her feet.

More than eighty years later, former Air Force Captain Haley Morgan has returned home to Heart’s Bend after finishing her commitment to military service. After the devastating death of her best friend, Tammy, and discovering the truth about the man she loved, Haley is searching for her place in life.

When Haley decides to reopen the romantic but abandoned wedding shop where she and Tammy played and dreamed as children, she begins a journey of courage, mystery, and love.

As Cora’s and Haley’s stories intertwine through time in the shadow of the beloved wedding shop, they both discover the power of their own dreams and the magic of everyday love.

About the Author:

Rachel Hauck is a New York Times, USA Today and Wall Street Journal Bestselling author.

A graduate of Ohio State University with a degree in Journalism, Rachel and her husband live in central Florida. She is a huge Buckeyes football fan.

Visit her at www.rachelhauck.com or www.facebook.com/rachelhauck

I just love Walking on Water: Reflections on Faith and Art by Madeleine L’Engle.

My review:

I recommend this book to any writer or artist, anyone in the creative world.

This book is not just for artists. This book is about creating, and the connections between faith and art. Anyone who appreciates the creative will be touched by this book.

This book is more than a devotional. It’s more than a writing manual. It’s not just an inspirational journey.

It’s not biblical doctrine. It’s the summation of a writer wrestling with God and the world and revealing what she’s learned from decades of experience.

Within twelve little meditations, we are encouraged to strive to be more than we are, because God calls us to be. We are encouraged to use our intuition and imagination, to trust and believe. We are exhorted to be vulnerable and love, love, love. We are reminded that none of us is qualified but only to give God glory.

Some of my favorite quotes:

Stories make us more alive, more human, more courageous, more loving.

You have to write the book that wants to be written. And if the book will be too difficult for grown-ups, then you write it for children.

Our truest response to the irrationality of the world is to paint or sing or write, for only in such response do we find truth.

When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability… To be alive is to be vulnerable.

But unless we are creators we are not fully alive. What do I mean by creators? Not only artists, whose acts of creation are the obvious ones of working with paint of clay or words. Creativity is a way of living life, no matter our vocation or how we earn our living. Creativity is not limited to the arts, or having some kind of important career.

We don’t want to feel less when we have finished a book; we want to feel that new possibilities of being have been opened to us. We don’t want to close a book with a sense that life is totally unfair and that there is no light in the darkness; we want to feel that we have been given illumination.

About the Book:

In this classic book, Madeleine L’Engle addresses the questions, What does it mean to be a Christian artist? and What is the relationship between faith and art? Through L’Engle’s beautiful and insightful essay, readers will find themselves called to what the author views as the prime tasks of an artist: to listen, to remain aware, and to respond to creation through one’s own art.

About the Author:

Madeleine L’Engle was the author of more than forty-five books for all ages, among them the beloved A Wrinkle in Time, awarded the Newbery Medal; A Ring of Endless Light, a Newbery Honor Book; A Swiftly Tilting Planet,winner of the American Book Award; and the Austin family series of which Troubling a Star is the fifth book. L’Engle was named the 1998 recipient of the Margaret A. Edwards award, honoring her lifetime contribution in writing for teens. Read More About the Author.

I received this book from Blogging for Books for this review.

I reviewed Listen by Patty Wipfler and Tosha Schore.

My review:

I love the simple tips from the authors to reset our entire parenting philosophy.

I have been going in this direction for a while and it just affirms my beliefs to respect my children and LISTEN to them instead of assuming.

As a homeschool mom who gave up a university teaching career to stay home to raise and educate my four babies, I’m always looking for tips on parenting and educating to improve myself and offer my readers.

Listen offers some unique approaches to parenting that I have not previously seen, with Q&A and role playing scripts to walk parents through tantrums and conflicts toward a peaceful end, connecting with and listening to the child’s needs. I think these methods would work with any child, even with special needs. It offers respect and gentleness to every interaction with a child. These ideas should be taught in every daycare, preschool, and school. I see too many teachers and parents dismiss children without listening, hearing, or caring about the child’s needs.

I especially like the part in the book that encourages us as adults to listen to ourselves and ponder why our reaction to certain situations is negative or immature. The authors offer great insight into our current behaviors because of unmet needs as children.

I highly recommend this book to every care giver of children!

Q & A from the authors of Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges

Why did you want to write this book?

Patty: The Listening Tools we describe are so powerful, I felt compelled to try to spread word about them broadly! Hundreds of parents we have worked with at Hand in Hand Parenting have asked for this book to be written. Every parent dreams of helping their child with the hard parts of childhood. And every parent wants to resolve their child’s behavior problems, not just cope with them. When parents know how to strengthen their connection with their child, the rewards in parenting flow in, and children thrive. We simply had to write this book!

What do you think made you the right person to write Listen?

Patty: I have over forty years of experience with this approach. I know many children who were raised this way, and see how they are parenting their own children. The benefits stretch through the generations! And I’m in close contact with many hundreds of parents using this approach, and have brought over 130 stories, in their own words and from their own lives, to illustrate how parents can use the tools we present to alleviate difficulties in their children’s lives. Parents have the power to heal and grow in the process! I have seen it so many times, with all kinds of parents!

What are the most important things you want parents to take away from reading this book?

I want parents to know that they have the power to help their children with a few very simple changes in how they think about and interact with them. And that their children are far smarter than any one of us would ordinarily guess. Even when their child is in the middle of a tantrum, he’s doing the smartest thing possible. And I hope parents will discover that connecting with one another, listening to one another, they can enhance their own ability to parent with generosity and wisdom.

Your book suggests that by using five simple tools parents can make enormous changes in their families and that these changes can have an impact on society in general. Can you tell us what you mean by that?

When we take intimidation and punishment out of parenting, and replace them with well-set limits and listening to children’s feelings, they tend to grow up with greater confidence, greater resilience, and a greater capacity for creative and collaborative work. These attributes are what we’ll need in order to solve the pressing problems of an increasingly complex and connected world.

On first hearing about your approach some parents may think it feels permissive to listen to an upset or tantruming child. How do you respond to parents who say “The real world isn’t going to listen to their feelings” or similar things?

It is difficult to listen to a child who’s throwing a tantrum! And many people on the street wouldn’t be up for doing that. But listening to an upset child has the effect of allowing the child to resolve the issue, and that child, who is supported to work her feelings though, is so much more cooperative and easygoing afterwards! So we’re saying, try it once or twice, and see if it doesn’t save you time and aggravation in the longer run. And as for the people in the “real world,” they’re not your child’s parents. We’ve seen that when a parent sets reasonable limits and then listens to their child’s upsets, that child works through a backlog of upsets over time. Meanwhile, leadership qualities grow, along with a child’s sense that his parents really do support him. This sense of connection is invaluable going into the teen years. It sets children up for “the real world” quite well!   

Your approach suggests parents move away from punishments, consequences, and Time Out. If instead you are giving attention to children aren’t you rewarding bad behavior?

In order to think well, and to take others into consideration, children need to feel connected to their parents or the other trusted people they are with. When children don’t feel connected, their minds shut down, and out pops unworkable behavior. The real remedy is to rebuild the sense of connection, and sometimes, that entails allowing a child to release the feelings that have built up inside. Our approach is built on the idea that a misbehaving child is a child who feels hurt. A well-set limit, followed by listening to the feelings that limit brings up, is a powerful remedy for misbehavior, and the best part about it is that over time, a child becomes far less likely to fall into that same misbehavior. The same is not true of punishment or of isolating a child. The problem comes around again and again, because the child’s hurt feelings haven’t been heard. Limits, followed by support and connection, supports a child’s inborn intelligence. It models caring, and trust in a child’s innate goodness.

Parents with two-job households or who are struggling to get by may thing this type of parenting is for rich white people, not the real world. What do you do to include a wide variety of different kinds of parents in your work?

We have a diverse Instructor corps, who reach out to and teach a wide variety of parents. Our Instructors include single parents, parents of one to eight children, adoptive parents, parents of children with disabilities, parents who are immigrants, gay parents, parents who are in recovery, parents who grew up poor, African American parents, Latino/a parents, Asian parents, and parents on five continents. We raise money each year to support classes for parents who can’t afford them, and are working for ever greater diversity in our outreach and training programs.

I have more than one child, how can I possibly stop everything to listen to one of them?

Parenting is a juggling act! Unfortunately, we can’t change that!  What seems to help is the Listening Partnership, the one-on-one exchange of listening that we encourage parents to do so that they can both give and get support. The trust that builds when parents actually listen to one another’s thinking and feelings is great. And over time, having someone you can think with regularly makes a huge difference in your ability to make the most of the energy you do have, and the opportunities your children give you. You are offloading your own feelings, so situations don’t bug you so much. Your children are offloading their feelings, with your support, so situations don’t bug them so much over time. And life becomes more fun, more satisfying. You are solving difficulties, rather than just coping with them. So even our Instructor with eight children has found that life, though challenging, is easier with Listening Tools at her fingertips than it ever was without them. We have several stories in Listen from parents of multiple children!

How do you respond to parents out there who are thinking, “Both of us work and we’re busy, we don’t have time to hear every feeling about everything our kids might not like” or “Once they get to school no one is going to listen to how they feel, they are going to have to deal with it.”

That’s right! When we aspire to be “perfect parents,” we’re bound to fail. There is no “perfect parent,” and I don’t think there ever will be. But our children aren’t hothouse flowers. They thrive when we sometimes listen, sometimes play, sometimes snuggle. Each time we do listen, they get a renewed sense of our love and support, and they get a precious chance to be supported as they clear out hurt feelings beneath the issues that bother them often. And however harsh a child’s external environment might be, having a haven of support when they get home will ensure that they get the best possible foundation from which to use their fine intelligence. From a safe haven with a supportive parent, a child can bump up against adversity, learn, and grow. We’ve seen children thrive and excel despite situations like brain injury, birth trauma, physical differences, and learning disabilities with grace and intelligence, with good support from their parents.

What Are the Five Simple Tools You Need to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges?

Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges.  

Each of the five Hand in Hand Listening Tools plays an important role in building wellbeing for your family. The tools work together to connect you and your children. And your child’s developing mind needs a close sense of connection with you as surely as she needs food, shelter, cleanliness, and sleep.

Special Time is a simple way to pour love and attention into your child. You set aside one-on-one time, and let your child choose what the two of you will do. She will use this time to show you what’s important to her and reveal her struggles. Special Time lets your child feel seen. It deepens her trust in you, while giving you a window into her thinking. It builds the sense of safety that promotes cooperation. Special Time can help connect you and your child from her earliest years through her adolescence, young adulthood, and beyond. It’s almost always the first Listening Tool to reach for when you’re thinking, “I don’t know what to do with this kid!”

Staylistening transmits your caring while your child feels hurt or afraid, and is expressing intense feelings. She pours out the hurt she feels; you listen, and pour in your quiet confidence that she’ll recover. You protect her while she feels alone and undone. Listening to your child’s upset doesn’t mean approving of her feelings; it’s your way of bathing her in your caring during her toughest moments. As her feelings pour out, an emotional burden will lift, and she’ll be left with the deep imprint of your love and support in its place. Both you and she will learn that feelings of hurt will heal when someone listens and cares. Because most of us were not listened to in this way, Staylistening can be challenging for a parent. But this tool has the power to lift your child’s spirits and transform bothersome behavior.

Setting Limits is crucial in your work as a parent. Your child needs and deserves a limit the minute her behavior starts to veer off track. A good limit gives your child the chance to offload the emotional tension that clouds her behavior, so she can return to the fun of learning and enjoying those around her. We’ll help you recognize the early warning signals your child sends out, and show you how to set limits without harshness. There are even ways to bring a limit that will fill your child with laughter.

Playlistening is the art of eliciting laughter in play with your child, without tickling. A heartwarming, creative tool, it will strengthen your connection as you make time for fun and enjoyment. Laughter is a powerful antidote to stress. Your child’s confidence will build as you learn to instigate playful role reversal and games full of friendly challenge and affection. Laughter will foster warmth in your family.

Finally, the Listening Partnership gives you a way to replenish your energy for parenting. An exchange of listening time with another parent can help you shed the stress that crops up when you live with young children. A Listening Partnership also gives you a haven for learning. You get a safe, private place to unfold your thoughts and feelings. How do you want your parenting to be different from the way you were raised? What gifts from your parents do you want to pass on? When you find yourself struggling with your child over a particular issue, how does your own past experience come into play? You’ll also have the privilege of listening to another parent as they think, feel, and learn. You won’t exchange advice, but you’ll learn from one another every time you meet. As you listen and are listened to, you’ll find it easier to enjoy your children, and to connect warmly with them during their troubled moments.

So there you have it!

Each tool is powerful in its own right, but no one tool is meant to be used alone. Setting limits—your use of parental power—is tempered with Special Time, which puts your child in the driver’s seat for short chunks of time. Playlistening, the lighthearted side of parent-child interactions, helps to balance out the full-throated drama your child goes through as you Staylisten. Your Listening Partnership is a vital learning laboratory, as well as your sanctuary. There, you are respected and understood. Your every feeling is welcome, every experience is of interest, and every thought, an important one.

With these five Hand in Hand Listening Tools, you can fully express your deep love for your kids and strengthen your family life. Enjoy!

By Patty Wipfler, Hand in Hand Parenting

Get your copy of Listen today!

We reviewed Gandhi for Kids: His Life and Ideas, with 21 Activities (For Kids series) by Ellen Mahoney.

I’ve long been a fan of Gandhi and his philosophy.

In light of recent world events and tension in the USA, we’ve been studying peace-keeping and cooperation.

The book offers lovely illustrations, maps, images, and the history of Gandhi.

There are 8 sections that follow his life chronologically, including famous world figures, a timeline, and pronunciation glossary.

There are 21 learning activities such as recipes, poetry, anti-bullying, public speaking, and art projects.

We’ve read about the salt walk and even studied the evaporated salt when we lived near Salt Lake City.

We discussed Gandhi’s peaceful philosophy and how we strive for cooperation and peace in our home and interactions with others. We have been bullied and have witnessed bullying and this is an issue close to my heart.

We learned about other leaders who were influenced by Gandhi’s life and beliefs.

We chose to complete a Rangoli sand mandala:

I set up the paper and got out some sand. We watched some videos of very beautiful and elaborate rangoli.

I created a very simple compass and made designs in the sand:

Then, the kids made a mandala of their own.

I love how they cooperated to make their sand compass:

They said the designs make it look like peacock feathers!

We discussed the fleeting beauty of the sand art.

It’s temporary, just like human beauty, and should not be idolized. It’s very time consuming to create the intricate mandalas with sand, and it is time consuming for us to develop character and inner beauty throughout our lives.

We did some henna art last year:

Some great times to study Gandhi:

• International Peace Day: September 21
• Gandhi’s Birthday: October 2
• International Day of Non-Violence: October 2
• Anti-Bullying Month: October

We enjoyed reading Gandhi for Kids and highly recommend it to everyone, not just kids!

About the author:

Ellen Mahoney is the author of Nellie Bly and Investigative Journalism for Kids and coauthor with Edgar Mitchell of Earthrise: My Life as an Apollo 14 Astronaut. She is currently an instructor of journalism and technical communication at Metro State University of Denver. She lives in Boulder, Colorado.