Most Christian parents I know today feel a bit like pioneers.

Younger Generation X parents or older Millennial parents came of age in the 1990s, a decade of grunge fashion, MTV reality shows, and the birth of the World Wide Web.

Many of our parents didn’t know how to help us navigate the sexual messages rife in our culture—so they stayed silent.

Many Christian parents today know they can’t be silent. They have to speak about how to steward sexual urges and desires. But how?

If you have a child who is a tween or teen, you know their bodies are preparing them for adulthood (and with that, sex), but their minds are still struggling to be free from childish ways of thinking.

3 most common mistakes parents make…

1. Telling their pre-teens or teens not to think about sex. This is the exact opposite of what they should do.

2. Stressing only the power of sex, not its goodness. The Bible stresses both.

3. Emphasizing “purity,” which stresses the absence of sexual sin, but not talking about what to pursue instead.

Check out this article: What We Wish Our Parents Would Have Taught Us About Sex as Teens.

Relationships: 11 Lessons to Give Kids a Greater Understanding of Biblical Sexuality

Relationships is a book geared towards kids 11 years old and up.

Lessons include:

▪ How to guard the heart from sexual and relational temptations
▪ How to guard the eyes from tempting sexual media and images
▪ How to handle peer pressure
▪ Why sexual holiness is more than just the absence of sexual sin
▪ Hot button issues like homosexuality, pornography, and masturbation
▪ How to pursue godly opposite sex friendships—in a way that doesn’t lead people on
▪ How to pursue accountability relationships (that actually help)
▪ How Jesus restores the sexual sinner

CHECK OUT THE WHOLE 3-PART SERIES!

Book 1: The Talk

When it comes to the matter of teaching kids about sex, Christian parents are often confused about what to say and when to start saying it. The Talk contains 7 studies, all anchored in the Scriptures, to help parents talk meaningfully with children about the basics of sexuality.

The Talk was written for parents to read with their children ages 6 to 10 years old. The study supplies elementary-age children with Biblical truths about sexuality at a level they can understand.

Book 2: Changes

Puberty can be an awkward time for many kids, but as Christian parents, we can prepare them for the changes to come. We can give them a biblical understanding of God’s sovereign purpose in the design of their changing minds and bodies. Changes is a series of 7 biblical lessons aimed at helping parents talk to their children about puberty from God’s perspective.

Changes was written for parents to read with children ages 8-12 years old, giving pre-teens a biblical and biological understanding of puberty.

Book 3: Relationships

As Christian parents, it is of utmost importance that we’re guiding our teens through the sometimes overwhelming sexual desires and temptations they experience. Relationships contains 11 Bible studies that provide a foundational understanding of how to navigate sexual temptations and desires in a godly manner.

Relationships was written for parents to read with their kids ages 11-14 years old this study will help prepare your teen for sexual temptations that they are sure to encounter and give them a greater understanding of biblical sexuality.

I remember my mom getting a stack of books from the library when I was about 8 and setting me down at the formal dining room table with them. I don’t remember her reading them to me or even being in the room. I looked through them and that was my introduction to sex ed. I don’t remember asking a lot of questions or feeling comfortable discussing anything with my parents.

In 5th grade, all the girls were ushered into a dark classroom with a film strip projector that showed uncomfortable old videos about the mechanics and science of creating a baby. It was still all quite a mystery, whispered and giggled about, while we were mostly more worried about when we could wear makeup and who was “going” with who.

Another memory is when I was about 12 and reading one of my moms’ Redbook magazines. I wasn’t sure what the article was even really about, but I looked up and innocently asked my dad, “What’s an orgasm?” He hollered, red-faced: “What the hell are you reading?” so I slunk away in shame to look it up in the dictionary. It wasn’t helpful at all.

Middle school was filled with many physical and social changes and I felt lost, confused, and anxious.

High school was even worse with its peer pressures…and fears of being caught alone in a dark hallway after school or in a corner of the gym by bad boys. There was the underlying knowledge that it would be all my fault if anything happened.

As a teen and young adult, I was left only with the admonition not to get pregnant. Which leaves a lot of room for sin, guilt, fear, and relationship problems. I wasn’t given advice about how to handle the hard conversations or how to extricate myself from difficult situations.

Then I got pregnant while still in college and my parents commanded me to end it so it didn’t ruin my life. And I listened to them. Even though I knew in my heart it was the wrong decision.

How would my life be different if I’d had been raised with a knowledge of God and healthy sexuality?

We still live in an antiquated patriarchal society.

Times haven’t changed much with the “boys will be boys” attitudes.

Rape culture that permeates too many conversations hidden as jokes.

Girls are often still taught to dress modestly for the wrong reasons, so as not to incite lust in males.

We see too many rapes and sexual assaults in the news. How many aren’t reported?

I see these perverse perspectives of sexuality too often, even in the homeschool and Christian communities.

A leader in our church spoke out against abstinence in Sunday school the other day. He said the idea of monogamy and purity until marriage is an archaic idea, based on a different time and culture with old-fashioned expectations. He argued that no one should be expected to remain a virgin well into adulthood, while they work on their education and build a career. He said couples should know each other, to consider if they are compatible in all ways before a marriage commitment. And he has a teen daughter and younger daughter! I wonder what they teach their daughters about sex?

Two homeschool teens in our tiny community recently began a sexual relationship. It’s common knowledge within our group and the parents scoff that they can’t control them since they are “of age.” The acceptance of this and the parents’ excuses are disturbing to me. I’m more concerned that all my kids know about their relationship and I don’t know how to navigate explanations and questions.

It makes me feel sad and a little scared for my children to find spouses and have a healthy relationship after being in the Christian and/or homeschool community.

I raise my kids differently.

THE TALK should start very early.

We can’t wait to have The Talk until our kids’ bodies begin changing – when sex seems like it’s EVERYWHERE – quite blatant innuendos in kids’ TV shows and movies, porn popups and ads online, explicit images in magazines and billboards…and the often deviant and perverse ideas and conversations of peers and even role models.

Do we want our kids learning about sex from the media and their peers?

I should hope not.

So, we as parents need tools to teach our kids about sex the right way. We need biblical sex education.

Luke and Trisha Gilkerson have created Having The Talk Biblical Sex Ed Training for Parents Video Course.

I have read and taught their sex ed books The Talk and Changes and Relationships.

I have taught my children from a very early age about sex from a biblical perspective with these books, and now this video course makes this task so much easier!

What’s included in the Having The Talk video course?

In addition to the 8 video lessons and 3 bonus lessons, parents will also receive a digital download eBook of The Talk. 

How long will I be able to access the video course?

You’ll have one full year to access the course! You can download The Talk book and maintain access to it forever. 

Get 3 FREE lessons to preview the course.

Course Topics:

Lesson 1: Too much too soon?
How to know when to begin talking to your kids about sex.
Lesson 2: Created Male and Female.
Talking to kids about the differences in male and female anatomy.
Lesson 3: Be Fruitful and Multiply.
How to communicate the function and purpose of sex with your kids.
Lesson 4: Celebrating Life.
A lesson on the beginning of human development.
Lesson 5: The Intimacy of Sex.
Communicating the importance of sex within a marital relationship.
Lesson 6: The Theft of Love.
How to talk to your kids about adultery and sexual sin.
Lesson 7: Sexual Abuse and Your Child.
Talking to kids about sexual abuse.
Lesson 8: Your Body Belongs to the Lord.
Communicating with your children the importance of honoring God with our bodies.

Bonus Lessons!
Bonus lessons covering how to talk to your children about homosexuality and masturbation in age-appropriate ways as well as a lesson on guarding your children from pornography.

Free Digital Copy of The Talk: 7 Lessons to Introduce Your Child to Biblical Sexuality. 

Use this book with your child after going through the course.

I feel it’s so, so, SO important for us as Christian parents to begin very early to educate our children about sex in a healthy way. If we don’t step up and teach our kids, then the world will. Worldly sex information is more enticing, bolder, louder, and permeating almost every aspect of our everyday culture. We can counter the world’s lessons about sex by teaching it to our families.

If your kids are older, you can always re-teach these sex ed lessons, over and over again if you have to. It’s so important to keep an open conversation with your children. Pray for guidance and help from God to give you the right words, tone of voice, and attitude to teach your children well about being counter-cultural with sexuality, with no shame. It’s not the popular path and it can be very difficult.

I feel so blessed that my teen daughter and I can have the hard conversations. We discuss movies and books and articles we read online. We discuss real examples of her friends who have sexual relationships. I think that my personal history allows me to have the uncomfortable talks honestly and guide my kids away from sin I knew all too well.

Why you’ll love this video course:

1. The videos aren’t just bland instructional how-tos about how to scientifically make a baby. Luke and Trisha discuss intimacy, adultery, and abuse. They address the all-too-common societal issues of divorce and children born out of wedlock with grace.
2. 3 bonus videos on the very controversial topics of masturbation, pornography, and homosexuality, offering advice on how to discuss these concepts with our children using science, statistics, and the Bible.
3. All sex ed topics are taught with grace, scientific knowledge, statistics, history, and biblical references.

Sign up for Having The Talk Biblical Sex Ed Training for Parents Video Course!

A good beginning is this 3-part Christian and Biblical series to discussing sex with your children:

The Talk: 7 Lessons to Introduce Your Child to Biblical Sexuality

Changes: 7 Biblical Lessons to Make Sense of Puberty

Relationships: 11 Lessons to Give Kids a Greater Understanding of Biblical Sexuality

A Christian Parent’s Guide to Having The Talk

I am saddened by how many of our peers learned about sex and I want better for my children. Too many of us learned shame or embarrassment or slang or the way of the world before being saved or because our guardians were too uncomfortable to discuss it well.

This study is comprehensive and accurate. I plan to use it as a jumping off point to have an ongoing conversation with my children.

Because it’s so much than just teaching the right names for the parts and how they fit together and wait till you’re married, ok!

I want my children to understand more than that and how intimacy is so much more than physical. And it can be oh, so damaging to young people who make poor decisions.

I want my kids to be prepared.

So, this Bible study is great to get started.

This series of biblical studies is designed to help parents to talk meaningfully with children about sex.

7 lessons cover all the basics to help teach your children about sexuality.

I’m going through it with Tori and Katie and my young son, Alex, listens in to some of it.

I realize they’re already ashamed of the correct words.

Who told them they were naked? Who taught them shame?

It’s definitely time to correct that and teach them the right way.

The lessons in The Talk include:

• Opening Thought
• Scripture Reading
• Talking Points
• Questions for Your Child
• Links to Free Videos
• Visual Charts to View and Discuss
• Prayer to End Each Lesson

And a Glossary of Terms at the end.

It’s more than just a script.

This is a Biblical guide to help Christian parents explain sex to our children before the world gets to them and twists the values they should have.

Purchase The Talk: 7 Lessons to Introduce Your Child to Biblical Sexuality now!

Changes: 7 Biblical Lessons to Make Sense of Puberty is the 2nd installment in the series of three books for parents to teach children about sexuality!

Acne. Pubic hair. Breasts. Squeaky voices. Menstruation. Nocturnal emissions. Make no mistake, puberty can feel like an awkward time in a child’s life. But with the right perspective, children can be taught to anticipate puberty as a blessing. Changes is a series of 7 studies, anchored in the Scriptures, that helps parents talk meaningfully with children about the mental, emotional, and physical changes puberty brings. Changes was written for parents to read with children ages 8 to 12 years old. The study supplies children with a Bible-based understanding of puberty in a language they can understand.

Changes is a series of 7 studies, anchored in the Scriptures, that helps parents talk meaningfully with children about the mental, emotional, and physical changes puberty brings.

• Lesson 1 looks at the adolescent years of Jesus, talking about how the culture in which Jesus lived recognized puberty as an important phase of physical and spiritual development. The goal is to help kids see these changes as something good.
• Lesson 2 looks at the process of change in the human body throughout all of life. Puberty is just one of several significant phases.
• Lesson 3 addresses the mental and emotional changes of puberty, as well as the internal catalyst for change in our bodies: hormones.
• Lesson 4 looks at the overall physical changes common to both boys and girls.
• Lesson 5 deals with the changes that take place in girls during puberty, such as fat deposits, breast development, and menstruation.
• Lesson 6 is about changes that take place in boys during puberty, such as muscular growth, facial hair, voice changes, testicular growth, and ejaculation.
• Lesson 7 will delve into physical attraction. Our kids need to understand both its goodness and power during this age.

It’s important for me to be proactive to teach my children what changes their bodies will be soon undergoing, both physically, mentally, and emotionally.

I want them to be prepared. I encourage them to ask questions. It’s my goal to keep conversation open throughout puberty and the teen years when it’s so crucial to counter the influence of the world.

Again, the Gilkersons offer a resource with Book 2 Changes, a great guide to begin ongoing Biblical conversations with our children about puberty. I want these conversations to be comfortable, not shameful and embarrassing.

I wish these books had been around a few years ago when my eldest child was going through these changes. I wish I had been able to understand these concepts when I was an adolescent!

*Now available!*

Book 3 – Relationships: 7 Lessons to Give Kids a Greater Understanding of Biblical Sexuality 

Relationships was written for parents to read with their kids ages 11-14 years old. This study will help prepare your teen for sexual temptations that they are sure to encounter and give them a greater understanding of biblical sexuality. As Christian parents, it is of utmost importance that we’re guiding our teems through the sometimes overwhelming sexual desires and temptations they experience. Relationships is a series of 11 Bible studies that provide a foundational understanding of how to navigate sexual temptations and desires in a godly manner.

Relationships is a great guide for all the hard questions and difficult topics:

• Lesson 1 looks at the original goodness of sexuality and marriage relationships as God created them.
• Lesson 2 addresses how sin has brought about sexual brokenness into the world, including our propensity to lust.
• Lesson 3 exposes the varieties of sexual and relational temptations in the world: from masturbation to pornography use to homosexual activities.
• Lesson 4 covers three biblical strategies for avoiding and overcoming lust.
• Lesson 5 discusses how we should guard our hearts from sexual and relational idolatry. 
• Lesson 6 talks about how we need to make a covenant with our eyes to avoid temptation.
• Lesson 7 talks about the importance of fleeing sexually tempting situations.
• Lesson 8 addresses the biblical strategy of pursuing intimacy with God and cultivating gratitude for wholesome pleasures.
• Lesson 9 discusses the importance of being wise in our opposite-sex friendships.
• Lesson 10 addresses the value of accountability relationships.
• Lesson 11 gives students and their parents a picture of the life-transforming grace of God for sexual sinners.

I love the whole Sex Ed Series!

Also, Luke and Trisha Gilkerson have created Having The Talk Biblical Sex Ed Training for Parents Video Course.

It’s important to have multiple talks as kids grow up and develop and interact with others.

It should be an ongoing conversation about sexuality and relationships.