Ever imagine that you want to quit homeschooling and throw enroll your kids in school?
The thought has occurred to me.
Re-evaluating Why We Homeschool
When my eldest was 11, she started expressing that she wanted to attend public school.
She struggled in math. I worried about her attitude and time management. I felt she was often lazy.
She excelled in Latin and history and language.
My youngest daughter has a similar personality and also wanted to attend school.
Sometimes, I wonder if it would be easier if they had attended school.
Easier, how, though?
Ah, escapism. Let someone else be responsible, right? Let someone else deal with her snarkiness and possibly instill some character in her! Because, obviously, I was failing miserably at this. Let her learn from failing, because I feared so much that’s what she’ll do…
Would it be easier to rush my kids out the door each morning?
Easier for me to keep track of the school’s schedule, dress code/trends, lunches, fundraisers, extra-curricular activities, homework? Oh, the stress…
Weighing the pros and cons…
And what about my middle girls?
They are just a year apart in age. But here at home, they both have always done the same academic work. Would they like being separated?
And my son? What would he do without his sisters all day, every day? I think he would miss them terribly.
Do I still feel called to homeschool?
God slammed every door. in. my. face. when my eldest was four and I could. not. find. a. job. (I used to teach English – middle school, high school, college, public, private.) I was pregnant with my second daughter. We were certainly reluctant homeschoolers. Read about that here.
We thought there would come a time for us to hang it up and work our way back into the mainstream (real) world.
In a way, the thought makes me feel a little sick. Not just about all the supplies that would be wasted. All the curriculum that has been bought and saved that we’re just going to start to use next school year with the next child.
I want to know what goes into my children’s heads.
Also, I want to shepherd my children’s hearts.
Not that I always do the greatest job with that. Still working on that and dealing with my own issues. Issues with laziness and anger and selfishness. I’m an only child. Sharing is new to me. Having no privacy or free time to myself is still new to me. I don’t always like it. I’m an introvert.
The plain truth is that I’m just really tired sometimes.
We’ve had some slower years (like the years when Katie and Alex were born), but I’ve compensated by schooling year-round and having flexible schedules.
We’ve travelled and experienced some really neat things that school kids wouldn’t have had time to do.
I’m sure I could have done more with science experiments or history projects or writing assignments some years. My eldest has resentments.
My husband sometimes questions my methods and wants a more traditional approach and grades and products.
With four active kids, I’m worried there’s not enough me to go around.
My son is completely different from the girls and they sometimes feel resentful if they think he gets special treatment.
I don’t think school would work for us. I know we are counter-cultural and different for being at home. We get frustrated with each other sometimes.
There’s often isn’t much opportunity to get together with others who are like-minded. It’s hard to find unschoolers with teens.
I know my kids want activities and friends and to seem more normal. I try really hard to provide lots of chances for classes, lessons, camps, sports, art.
We won’t go back to participating in a homeschool co-op since it was a big waste of time and very stressful.
People fade in and out of our lives. We never seem very important to anyone.