Queen Bees and Wannabes Book Review

I reviewed the new updated 3rd edition Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and the New Realities of Girl World by Rosalind Wiseman.

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I was somewhat disappointed with the general attitude that the terrible issues addressed in the book are inevitable with preteen and teen girls.

I don’t believe that.

The book offers some good advice for parents to navigate raising a teen. I agree that relationships build trust and that is the goal, but the author limits parental boundaries in the name of trust, using negative words like “spying.”

It’s my job as a parent to use any means necessary to protect them. Computers in my house have passwords and filters installed and I monitor usage. I have open discussions with my children about social media and websites and the online world.

The book describes “Girl World” like it’s a foreign country or distant planet and parents can never possibly fully understand with its nuances and land mines.

The majority of the situations and role playing and quotes from “real” girls come across like shallow articles in girls’ and women’s magazines. They’re unrealistic and don’t quite make it to the point of offering much actual advice.

It offers advice for parents to “check their baggage” which is sometimes wise. Two of my children are extroverted, opposite my personality and they don’t have the same experiences with peers that I did. I actually learn a lot from them. They’re all great kids and do a great job interacting with others in a healthy way.

The advice for bullying is too light and doesn’t seem to address the real danger. Most children and teens (and even many adults) cannot address bullying issues reasonably and rationally. I’ve too often found little assistance from authorities like parents and school officials or theatre directors when dealing with bullies.

I think most of the issues with children and parents can be addressed with mutual respect. This begins when children are babies and toddlers. Trust is built on the give and take of learning healthy independence in a safe environment. By the time they are teens, parents should address the physical, emotional, and psychological changes taking place in a loving, respectful way.

The book comes across as a script for clueless parents, those so out of touch with popular culture and modern times that they have all but lost their kids to the world.

I received this book from Blogging for Books for this review.