Jennifer Lambert

A Sacred Balance

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Things We Lost in the Fire Book Review

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Things We Lost in the Fire: Stories by Mariana Enriquez, is a collection of twelve short stories about life in Argentina.

My Review:

I love the daring, creepy, and even macabre stories written in this collection. Like contemporary Latina lit meets Victorian Gothic novel. Some episodes, I was glad were over and others I wanted more, to know what happened but the story just ended and left me wondering. The characters are rich in personality within even a few pages which attests to Mariana Enriquez’ masterful storytelling. The history and culture revealed in the stories and characters are exciting for me and I kept reading, sometimes late into the night, like binge-watching a favorite series. I do love how the entire book theme seems to be about women and girls and their experiences, memories, fears, and love. The male characters take a backseat as supporting characters. Women have a voice in these stories.

Summary:

In these wildly imaginative, devilishly daring tales of the macabre, internationally bestselling author Mariana Enriquez brings contemporary Argentina to vibrant life as a place where shocking inequality, violence, and corruption are the law of the land, while military dictatorship and legions of desaparecidos loom large in the collective memory. In these stories, reminiscent of Shirley Jackson and Julio Cortázar, three young friends distract themselves with drugs and pain in the midst a government-enforced blackout; a girl with nothing to lose steps into an abandoned house and never comes back out; to protest a viral form of domestic violence, a group of women set themselves on fire.

But alongside the black magic and disturbing disappearances, these stories are fueled by compassion for the frightened and the lost, ultimately bringing these characters—mothers and daughters, husbands and wives—into a surprisingly familiar reality. Written in hypnotic prose that gives grace to the grotesque, Things We Lost in the Fire is a powerful exploration of what happens when our darkest desires are left to roam unchecked, and signals the arrival of an astonishing and necessary voice in contemporary fiction.

About the Author:

Mariana Enriquez is a writer and editor based in Buenos Aires, where she contributes to a number of newspapers and literary journals, both fiction and nonfiction.

I received this book from Blogging for Books for this review.

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The Lyons Lifestyle Book Review

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The Lyons Lifestyle: The Seven Hardest (and Easiest) Steps to a Healthy Body by M. Frank Lyons II, M.D., published by WestBow Press, is a comprehensive book on how to change our lifestyles for better health.

My Review:

Everything in this book confirms what I’ve been diligently working for with my family. We strive to eat healthy and live without medication. I read and research and learn about the best methods. I have worried about the discrepancy that the American government and organizations teach about diet and health for many years. Living in Europe the past three years has been a delightful break from the poor quality foodstuffs of America.

Almost everyone I know has a medical problem and I’ve often wondered why. Most don’t have any desire to change their lifestyle. They don’t realize that their poor health is a direct result of the poor foods and combinations they eat. They’d rather have a quick fix of pills and it’s a vicious cycle. I even question doctors if they have anything to say about thyroid disorders and other issues that seem to prevalent in our society but were not so common in previous generations. They are bland and say they don’t know.

Supplements and prescription medicines are not the answer. All these bloggers recommend their MLM dietary products and essential oils as a miracle for any ailment. But it often makes problems worse.

Some of the articles and books I’ve read have very conflicting information.

If it ain’t broke…

There’s no reason to take pills if you eat right. The American diet is a lie.

Multivitamins are not necessary.

The body usually cannot absorb so many vitamins and minerals and many contradict each other and cancel out or they aren’t in the right form. Overdosing on some vitamins can cause problems. Others are just eliminated as body waste. They’re mostly just a waste of money.

Supplements are not usually necessary.

Playing with hormones should be left to the professionals.

Excess DHEA can cause acne.

A recommended supplement for women has all sorts of herbs and minerals, enzymes and oils. My periods got heavier after I experimented with it. There’s no way of knowing if I had a reaction to one or all of them.

My thyroid is fine. I don’t have any history of thyroid problems in my family. We eat pretty healthy. I’ve read that I should eat Brazil nuts every day and take a thyroid supplement to stave off metabolism slowdown. It just causes severe stomach cramps if nothing is wrong!

I stopped taking all the supplements and my period is lighter, my acne cleared up, and I feel fine.

Probiotics are not for everyone.

So many bloggers and authors are huge into gut health. They spout special diets, cleanses, and probiotics consumption. They say the gut is connected to mental health and everything stems from the gut bacteria. But there aren’t really any definitive studies about this.

But I think my gut is pretty ok.

Probiotics (probably) made me break out in severe acne that would not go away with anything topical or dietary. And now my digestion is back to being regular.

What I do for my health:

I’ve been lazy and much too sedentary this past year. I’m only maybe 15 pounds overweight, but it’s very obvious on my small frame. It’s all settled on my middle, butt, and thighs – so I look pregnant. To slim down, I’m walking and getting outside more and watching my sugar intake.

We take cod liver oil. We eat a pretty balanced diet. We’re researching different grains that are healthier options than traditional American wheat.

This is a great book to learn about why we have health problems when we think we’re doing everything right.

Book Summary:

We have seen an explosive deterioration of America’s health in the past 50 years. 70 million people suffer from metabolic syndrome, 700,000 individuals die annually from heart disease, untold numbers are affected by cancers. We have seen an epidemic of esophageal reflux, fatty liver disease, gout, kidney failure, autoimmune disorders, inflammatory diseases and vitamin D deficiency. Why? One of the primary reasons for our failing health is our nutrition. We have been following guidelines that are deeply flawed and now nearly all of us is affected by one or several of these maladies. This book enlightens you about those flaws and the remedies for you to correct them. True health care reform starts with your own nutritional health and this book guides you through the steps needed to improve your nutritional health and perhaps even reverse some disease processes presently affecting you.

About the Author:

M. Frank Lyons II, M.D., a practicing gastroenterologist in Tacoma, Washington, has been a clinical researcher, writer, and teacher for over a quarter of a century. A Fellow of the American College of Gastroenterology and the American College of Physicians, he has answered many clinical questions through his scientific investigations. His medical research has included hepatitis C, esophageal diseases, Helicobacter pylori infections, and intestinal cancer prevention. He has received several teaching, research and clinical awards, and has authored chapters of textbooks, scientific papers and abstracts.

Dr. Lyons obtained his B.S. and M.S. degrees in microbiology from the University of Idaho. He then received his Doctorate in Medicine from the Uniformed Services University of the Health Sciences in Bethesda, Maryland. He completed his Internal Medicine residency at Madigan Army Medical Center in Tacoma, Washington and Gastroenterology at Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Washington, DC. He is board certified in Internal Medicine and Gastroenterology.

His desire to teach his patients about their medical conditions led to the research and writing of two recent books: 42 Days to a New Life—a book that describes the importance of a balanced fat diet and the elimination of trans fats to prevent numerous diseases; and Fructose Exposed—the book that explores and clarifies the misunderstanding surrounding fructose, high fructose corn syrup and the metabolic disaster that occurs in our body from chronic, excess fructose consumption.

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My Top 40

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I turned 42 on Sunday.

Sometimes, it hits me and I’m shocked because I don’t feel 42. I’m not sure what 42 is supposed to feel like.

I often still feel the same way I felt at 15 and 21 and 29 and 32. I have the same dreams and fears.

We live in such a casual time that it doesn’t matter what I wear, how I style my hair, or which fork I use.

During my mom’s generation, women over a certain age didn’t wear the color pink or their hair long. That was for younger women.

Sometimes, when I go out with my teen daughter, people mistake us for sisters and that’s delightful.

Other times, I feel very old and persnickety. My knees crackle when I stand up. My back hurts when I stand for a long time.

I’m past the desire to get tattoos or piercings. I’d rather spend my money on other things – experiences.

Sometimes, I feel panicky that I haven’t accomplished anything important. My time is too short and I have to hurry and do something, anything, quickly, write write write, create create create.

Then, I feel overwhelmed and it’s been all done before. I have nothing to offer. Do I?

I usually lie in bed at night and listen to the night sounds and make myself ill about what I should have done or could do better.

Then I think about all the things I have done and I’m able to breathe a little easier for another night.

I’m accepting that I’m an INTJ and a 1/5 combo on Enneagram. This is who I am and I constantly improve and grow.

I had some amazing experiences that shaped me into who I am today. When I look back on what means the most to me, my priorities are clear.

My top 40:

  1. I flew alone to Washington, D.C., when I was 9, to visit my grandma. It was a fun week.
  2. My parents took me to Puerto Rico when I was 14. It was a business trip for my dad. I missed a week of school, excused for “educational purposes.”
  3. My intro to art class in 10th grade. The teacher was quite a bitch, but I still remember the projects and techniques I learned. It ruined me but I’m rediscovering it.
  4. Entering college early. Dual enrollment was a new concept and my high school wasn’t too keen, so I just bypassed them. I got a double scholarship.
  5. “Wasting time” on college classes in Spanish, French, and German. The lessons I learned serve me well now in Europe and teaching my kids foreign languages!
  6. My college classes on art history and music theory still affect me today. Those professors were passionate and delightful.
  7. Overcoming depression. It’s a daily battle.
  8. Getting my Master’s in education. It was a joke of a program, but I jumped through those hoops and have the paper to prove it.
  9. Teaching in public school. I learned so much about kids, parents, learning, government school systems, bureaucracy, and more. I’ve taught at many levels, mostly middle school and high school, including ESL and gifted. I worked in elementary after school programs. I was also a substitute teacher in many different kinds of classrooms.
  10. The birth of my first daughter.
  11. Teaching college writing. Almost my dream job.
  12. Getting married. (The first two don’t count…) Surviving PCSes and a deployment. Deployment #2 coming up.
  13. Moving to Texas. This was a quite a catalyst for change. I couldn’t find work. We began homeschooling. It was the first time I ever lived away from my parents and home state. My husband’s parents both passed away. My husband changed job fields in order to remain in the Air Force. I birthed two babies. It was a stressful two years.
  14. Homeschooling. It’s been an amazing adventure!
  15. Starting a blog. It sure has evolved since 2005!
  16. The birth of my second daughter.
  17. The birth of my third daughter. A C-section is not a failure. I’m still telling myself this. Medical bullying and trauma is a thing though.
  18. Living in Hawaii for 3 years.
  19. My husband adopting my first daughter.
  20. Changing our lifestyle to be healthier and more natural.
  21. The birth of my son. VBAC, for the win!
  22. Stopped attending a legalistic fundamentalist church. Wish we’d left sooner!
  23. Introducing my husband and kids to camping.
  24. Family road trip to Yellowstone National Park.
  25. Living in Germany for 3 years. Being able to explore Europe!
  26. Traveling to Paris. Twice.
  27. Traveling to Prague.
  28. Traveling to Netherlands.
  29. Traveling to Greece.
  30. Traveling to London. Twice.
  31. Traveling to Porto.
  32. Traveling to Rome.
  33. Traveling to Ireland.
  34. Traveling to Normandy, France.
  35. Traveling to Florence.
  36. Traveling to Venice.
  37. Deciding to practice respectful parenting.
  38. Becoming credit card debt-free. We’re almost there!
  39. Doing Bible study at home instead of attending church.
  40. I have found my voice. I am still angry. I am not afraid.

I can do so much more now that I’m 42 than when I was in my 20’s.

I am more confident. I have more life experience. I am more discerning. I have my priorities straight.


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How to Write an Essay

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When I entered university, I didn’t know how to write the typical 5-paragraph essay.

I vaguely remembered writing a literary research paper in 9th and again in 10th grade, with much hand-holding from the teacher, but I had a substitute teacher for my 11th and 12th grade years, so I basically sat in the back corner, by the window, and read poetry and classic novels. I started college early to escape.

In my second year or college, my Shakespeare professor kindly took me under his wing and tutored me in the essay format and I then took off with it, easily earning A’s in all my English courses.

I majored in literature, which was kind of a cop out and didn’t enable me to explore too many career options. I entered a 15-month master’s program to earn my M.Ed. and then I taught high school English for a few years. I moved on to teach college writing until we moved out of state and I had my babies.

Now I homeschool my four children. I don’t encourage formal writing until my kids are high school age. I don’t place a huge focus on typical English education. We read a lot and have lively discussions.

Essays are a bit more than a series of paragraphs thrown together. I explain the necessary parts of a well-written paragraph here.

Types of essays:

Most college essays require research and source citations. Different disciplines require different styles. I typically used MLA since I worked with literature. I love how easy these websites make generating source citations!

Citation Styles:

How to write an essay:

When I taught writing as a school teacher, I used to begin by pulling out an adorable copy of The Three Little Pigs and reading it aloud to the class.

Middle school, high school, college level. The students loved it and giggled, excited to be swept back to preschool storytime days.

It’s a well-known story, familiar and comfortable, so it takes the scary out of essay-writing when it’s so simplified.

After reading the book, I wrote on the board the outline format of the story.

The Three Little Pigs is a perfect 5-paragraph essay!

I. Introduction
II. Straw Pig
III. Stick Pig
IV. Brick Pig
V. Conclusion

Then, we would summarize the story together and I would jot down details on the outline.

Download a worksheet for summarizing The Three Little Pigs here.

Since I had to give grades and busy work to students in middle school and high school, I would assign them to quickly write up the summary in 5-paragraph format.

Then, we would segue into writing 5-paragraph essays on a variety of topics, working up to the dreaded literary analysis essay with citations and sources and references.

I like this handy dandy visual:

Review the format of a 5-paragraph essay:

  1. Determine a thesis.
    This is a statement that serves as the premise to be maintained or proved throughout the essay.
    When I teach essay writing to new writers, I make the formula easy: State the argument including the 3 supporting statements. Place the thesis at the end of the introduction paragraph.
  2. At least 3 supporting statements.
    These three statements become the three body paragraphs. I typically require a resource quote for each paragraph.
  3. Introduction paragraph.
    The introductory paragraph attempts to accomplish these three things:
    • Introduce the topic with some indication of its inherent interest or importance, and a clear definition of the boundaries of the subject area
    • Indicate the structure and/or methodology of the essay, often with the major sections of the essay or its structural principle clearly stated
    • State the thesis of the essay, preferably in a single, arguable statement with a clear main clause
  4. Conclusion paragraph.
    A conclusion paragraph attempts to accomplish these three things:
    • It provides the reader with a sense of closure on the topic
    • It demonstrates to the reader that you accomplished what you set out to do
    • It shows how you have proved your thesis
  5. Works Cited page.
    This is a formatted list of research sources on a separate page after the essay. Many teachers and professors are very particular about spacing and punctuation.

Thesis Examples:

The three little pigs thwarted the big, bad wolf.
Albrecht Durer as a Reformation artist utilized color, symbolism, and secular subjects in his art to express the Protestant values of his peers.
Alice Walker coined the term “Womanism” to unify strong women of color, give them a voice, and differentiate from the more white Feminist ideals.

Tips:

Eliminate “to be” verbs. In data processing programs, search for these and replace with active verbs.
Do not use “you” or “I.”
No slang.
No contractions.
Wikipedia is not a credible source.
Use 1 quote per body paragraph. Make sure to introduce it and support it. Place it in the middle of the paragraph.

Teaching and writing essays shouldn’t be frightening. It’s easy when you follow a formula.

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No More Faking Fine Book Review

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My review for No More Faking Fine: Ending the Pretending by Esther Fleece, published by Zondervan.

Description:

If you’ve ever been given empty clichés during challenging times, you know how painful it can feel to be misunderstood by well-meaning people. Far too often, it seems the response we get to our hurt and disappointment is to suck it up, or pray it away.

But Scripture reveals a God who meets us where we are, not where we pretend to be.

No More Faking Fine is your invitation to get gut-level honest with God through the life-giving language of lament. Lament, a practice woven throughout Scripture, is a prayer that God never ignores, never silences, and never wastes. As author Esther Fleece says, “Lament is the unexpected pathway to true intimacy with God, and with those around us.”

Esther learned this the hard way, by believing she could shut down painful emotions that haunted her from a broken past she tried to forget on her fast track to success. But in silencing her pain, she robbed herself of the opportunity to be healed. Maybe you’ve done the same.

No More Faking Fine is your permission to lament—to give voice to the hurt, frustration, and disappointment you’ve kept inside and silenced for too long. Drawing from careful biblical study and hard-won insight, Esther reveals how to use God’s own language to draw closer to Him as He leads us through any darkness into His marvelous light.

My Review:

This book was quite interesting to me.

I agree that many people, even Christians can’t handle laments. Most of us are silenced and reduced to “faking fine.” No one really wants to know anything about the negative. But everyone seems to be a counselor and offers advice that’s unwanted and unneeded.

I couldn’t relate to the author’s neverending supply of supportive friends who helped her all along the way with her issues. I found myself wanting to feel more sorry for her lack of relationship with her family, but I had some questions. She left her brother out of her story almost altogether. How did he react to events?

I couldn’t relate to the somewhat shallow craving for shopping and closets full of shoes. I don’t lament things. I’m not into prosperity gospel. And who gets to go on a long retreat to Alaska to heal? Almost none of us.

I think I was hoping for more of a workbook than a personal account. The book touches on a lot of good points about biblical laments in Psalms, Job, Lamentations. Some of the stories became repetitive and I think it could have been condensed a bit.

The book is a good commentary of realizing that many of us are not “just fine.”

About the Author:

Esther Fleece is an international speaker and writer on Millennials and faith, leadership, and family, recognized among Christianity Today’s “Top 50 Women Shaping the Church and Culture” and CNN’s “Five Women in Religion to Watch.” As founder and CEO of L&L Consulting,  she works to connect influential individuals and organizations to their mutual benefit.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookLook Bloggers book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

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The Pledge of a Lifetime Book Review

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My review for The Pledge of a Lifetime: Her hope for connection. His guide through conflict. by Mark T. Oelze, MA, published by WestBow Press.

Description:

What is it about conflict that causes all of us to shy away? Why is it so difficult? What if there was a step-by-step process to guide us through conflict and create a deeper connection at the same time? And what if the principles learned could enhance all communication?

In The Pledge of a Lifetime, follow Jake and Lisa’s story and discover how to transform tense confrontations into rich conversations. Watch family dynamics improve as everyone works together to communicate in a manner governed by love.

From his years of conflict resolving experiences, Mark Oelze leads you into the counselor’s office between the covers of this book, where you will learn the keys to process any conflict, big or small. Fear no longer has to hold you back. Work the PLEDGE to build strong healthy communication with love as your highest goal!

My Review:

I could barely get through this book. I didn’t learn anything. It didn’t save my marriage. It didn’t teach me how to better communicate. It insulted my intelligence.

I didn’t like the book format of a fictional married couple in counseling. They were flat unlikeable characters. I couldn’t relate to their trite little issues that just stereotype men and women. I was done when the husband accused the wife of talking too much.

I didn’t like the fictional counselor. I thought he seemed tired and sarcastic and exasperated with the couple and that’s just rude.

The acrostic PLEDGE just regurgitates all the psychobabble that marriage counselors have given couples for decades. It’s nothing new, just packaged cute.

The end of each chapter has a summary of the “lessons” for each letter of the PLEDGE.

I suppose this book would be ok for married couples who are just experiencing a little bit of communication conflict, but not any major issues. This is not a book for marriages in crisis.

About the Author:

Mark Oelze has been a marriage and family counselor since 1985, helping couples process conflict in a manner that is completely governed by love. Married 33 years, he and his wife, Zerrin, teach the Madly In Love Marriage Conference. They have three grown children and live in Wichita, Kansas. Knowing the power of words, Mark and Zerrin have a passion to see intentional love shape the way we communicate.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookLook Bloggers book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

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Teaching the Trinity

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The Trinity is a mystery and teaching it to young children can be quite challenging. The Lenten season is a great time to meditate on the mystery of God and learn about the Trinity.

While the word Trinity never appears in the Bible, the idea of the three-part or triune God is all over both the Old Testament and New Testament. The Hebrew word for God, the plural form Elohim (The plural form of El, meaning “Strong One.”) appears approximately 2,570 times in the Tanakh or Old Testament writings.

As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting on him. And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.” Matthew 3:16-17

Other Trinity Bible verses: John 14:26, 1 John 5:7-8, John 14:16-17, 1 Corinthians 8:5-6, 1 Peter 1:2

Teaching the Trinity

I love this book about the mystery of the Trinity:

Teaching the Trinity Three Ways:

Teaching the Trinity with Shamrocks

St. Patrick’s Day is a great time to use shamrocks to teach the Trinity (even if the story of St. Patrick using it as a teaching tool is just a legend and has little evidence).

Three leaves on one stem. Each heart-shaped leaf represents an aspect of God: Father, Son, Holy Spirit. It’s a great visual!

We sing this song (to the tune of Frère Jacques):

Praise the Father. Praise the Father.

Praise the Son. Praise the Son.

Praise the Holy Spirit. Praise the Holy Spirit.

Three in one. Three in one.

Teaching the Trinity with Shamrocks

Teaching the Trinity with Apples

I love how this book guides children through the Trinity with parts of an apple.

The three parts of an apple represent the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Here’s even a video of the book!

Teaching the Trinity with Apples

Teaching the Trinity with Eggs

A fun science-y way to learn about the Trinity with a hard-boiled egg. Similar to the apple: the parts of the egg represent Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

A great Sunday school or Easter craft lesson – especially if kids don’t like to eat those pretty dyed eggs they made!

Teaching the Trinity with Eggs

BONUS:

Teach the Trinity with the three phases of water!

liquid: water, solid: ice, gas: steam or vapor.

This is also a great lesson time to teach and/or memorize the Apostles’ Creed and Nicene Creed.

A family study about the Nicene Creed:

And this one about the Apostle’s Creed:

Sing and learn hymns about the Trinity.

The Doxology:

Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow;
Praise Him, all creatures here below;
Praise Him above, ye heavenly host;
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.

Happy Spring! He is risen indeed.

Linking up here.

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Minimizing

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Do you have issues in your house with too much stuff?
Do you struggle with keeping the house tidy and neat?
Do you want more, more, more?

Try minimizing for a simpler, more peaceful life.

If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them as half as much money. ~Abigail Van Buren

I’m not advocating for getting rid of all your stuff.

I’ve been to some homes and the people seem to have next to nothing by choice and that’s also stressful when there’s nowhere to sit and the rooms are stark and empty and echoey.

Your home doesn’t have to have a Scandinavian or Asian decor to be peaceful and clutter-free.

A home shouldn’t be sterile.

I always have piles of books – from the library, that I’m reading, that I’m going to read. I do continuously purge books as we outgrow them.

Finding a healthy balance of a home with peace and beauty while having storage for the things we love is a challenge.

I grew up with parents and my grandma buying me almost anything I wanted. But it was because that was the only way they knew how to show love. My grandma made up for the poor relationship she had with my father by showering me with gifts all throughout my childhood and I only saw her maybe two or three times a year. She passed when I was a teenager. My parents totally bought into the Big 80’s idea that more stuff equaled status and power and influence. They bought new cars every three years. My mother has shoes in every single color and clothes in her closet with tags still on them. She would hide her clothing purchases from my father. She has at least four closets full of clothing she will most likely never wear.

I blew all the money I made at my first jobs in retail and restaurants. I didn’t think about saving any of it. I never learned about good financial choices in school or at home.

I never learned the value of anything.

I spent most of my early adulthood blowing money on unimportant things, fighting debt, and learning to budget.

I still struggle. I’m still paying off debt. It seems every time we get close, there’s an emergency to set us back.

I want my children to learn the value of things better than I was taught.

We go through massive purges of our stuff every few years as we move. We’re a military family and we’re constantly re-evaluating our stuff. Our kids are growing up. They need fewer things for homeschool and playing.

We’re all maturing. We need less and less stuff to be happy. With fewer things, we’re all more stress-free. It’s easier to clean up when there’s not so much to be messy. There are fewer arguments and fewer hassles about toys and things.

I’m not into organization porn.

The gospel of minimalism, as preached by bloggers, chat rooms, and Facebook groups, is growing more nebulous as the movement of capitalist austerity—austerity as choice and aesthetic—picks up steam…Spareness is the lot of have-nots; minimalism is only aesthetic when it’s a choice. Minimalism critiques extravagance without condemning the wealth itself, making it a doctrine of the rich, for the rich. It’s the “classiest” version of inconspicuous consumption, one that at its core houses sanctimonious self-abnegation.

Aditi Natasha Kini

While I like the clothes folding method from Marie Kondo, I get anxiety thinking about getting rid of anything that doesn’t “spark joy” this very moment. I have regrets of some items we’ve purged over the years. I did the closet trick a few years ago and it helped to downsize clothing. I’ve also lost some weight the last couple years. It’s actually upsetting not to be able to fit into favorite clothes anymore.

I’ve watched The Minimalists. I see the rise of the tiny house movement and I wonder how long that will last. Most of us don’t come from generational wealth nor do our families own land or property where we can just park our trailer and live rent free.

Minimalism is becoming a culture clash. Westerners see the hustle and want to detach from it, somehow connect to a more Eastern mindset without doing any inner work or systemic change.

I am just not spiritual enough not to care about any material goods. I don’t really think this is a character flaw. Everyone has favorite possessions. We cry if there is a disaster and lose things. We are human.

Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.

William Morris

How I minimize with practicality:

  1. Less is more.

    We really don’t need as much as we have and we certainly don’t need more stuff. Having fewer and simpler toys encourages creativity and resourcefulness. Just because an item exists or all her friends have it doesn’t mean it’s needed. Having less is also easier to keep clean and tidy. Having a smaller home means cheaper upkeep and utilities. We purged most of our worthless knick knacks and streamlined surfaces.

  2. What’s the motivation?

    Buying stuff doesn’t equal love. Yeah, I know that’s supposed to be one of the love languages, but really? If it’s not useful or needed, don’t buy it. “Retail therapy” is stupid. We gave up giving greeting cards because it gets really expensive and they’re just thrown away. We don’t exchange gifts with extended family anymore either.

  3. Quality over quantity.

    Get the best you can afford. Don’t get some cheap knockoff that you’ll have to keep replacing. Do your research and save up for it. We are slowly replacing the cheaper or worn out items we bought in the earlier years of our marriage.

  4. Set boundaries.

    Determine some boundaries for stuff and don’t let it spill over. Have a place for everything, and don’t buy more storage just to have more stuff. Do you keep certain items only for sentimental value or for some other reason? I had to get over a lot of that, and yes it’s hard.

  5. One in, one out.

    Purge often. If you get something new, get rid of something else. This helps reduce clutter and keeps priorities straight. No one really needs multiple items in all the colors.

  6. Get organized.

    Everything in its place and a place for everything. A neat and tidy house is more peaceful than a cluttered home. Get a system for those cluttery places where you find family members dropping their stuff. Work with it and not against it. Find a method that works for your family. We like pretty natural baskets for toys and simple bookcases with cabinets.

  7. Limit ad exposure.

    Ads are everywhere, breeding discontent. Limit exposure to TV, social media, and print advertisements to limit wants. Unsubscribe from store and deal emails. Shopping isn’t entertainment.

  8. Teach value.

    Limit the gimmes by having a 3-day wait rule for big purchases. If you still desire the item after 3 days, come up with a plan to afford it. We don’t have huge gift-giving events for birthdays or holidays. We give just a few desired or needed items for birthdays and about 4 items for Christmas and nothing tangible on minor holidays. We have discussions before we go to stores about goals and priorities and there has never been any begging. Our kids have never had a meltdown in the checkout line because I’m proactive and communicate.

  9. Have a plan.

    Have a budget or spending plan and stick to it. It helps to be realistic and set aside a little each month instead of splurging and feeling guilty. Ask: Do you need it and/or why do you have it? This limits anxiety.

  10. Practice what you preach.

    If you limit your kids’ toys and clothing, also limit your own purchases. Don’t go get the newest tech gadget or new car if your others function just fine. Learn to make do. Model good financial choices to your kids.

If something cost $1,000, and it is on sale for $750, and then you decide to buy it, you did not save $250. You spent $750.

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We Don’t Do Testing

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Apparently, it’s shocking that we don’t do any testing in our homeschool.

Going against the norm is uncomfortable for lots of people. Homeschool parents seem to feel like they must recreate a school environment at home.

We don’t do testing in our homeschool.

Whoever said there’s no such thing as a stupid question never looked carefully at a standardized test. ~Alfie Kohn

Our culture is permeated with performance.

Outcomes, grades, products, success are more important than the process, than learning. When we focus on outcomes, the motivation is extrinsic and meaningless. We cram for the assignment and then purge the information to move on to the next. There’s no learning involved except in the conditioned behavior, like a rat pushing a button for food.

Let’s begin with a few definitions:

What are Assessments?

Assessment focuses on learning, teaching, and outcomes. It provides information for improving learning and teaching. Assessment is an interactive process between student and teacher that informs the teacher how well the student is learning what they are teaching. The information is used to make changes in the learning environment, and is shared with students to assist them in improving their learning and study habits. This information is learner-centered, course based, frequently anonymous, and not graded.

What are Evaluations?

Evaluation focuses on grades and may reflect components other than course content and mastery level. These could include discussion, cooperation, attendance, and verbal ability.

Tests, exams, quizzes, assessments, and evaluations are often used interchangeably among teachers and parents.

In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson. ~Tom Bodett

Some arguments I’ve heard for testing:

How do I  know if the kids are learning?

I have FOUR children. I think I know if they’re learning or not. I don’t have 150 students. Testing is for schools. We’re always learning and the kids are great at self-evaluation. Life is learning. I allow them great freedom to explore their interests.

How do the kids know how to take tests?

Trust me. My kids know what tests are and can complete true/false, multiple choice, fill in the blank, short answer, and essay questions on a variety of subjects. But why would I require such low level evaluation?

How do I report to authorities that require test results?

Sure, it’s probably easier to subject the kids to standardized tests to report to state authorities than complete a portfolio or evaluation form. But is it easiest for the kids or the parent?

Only 8 states require testing with no other option: GA, MN, NC, ND, OR, SC, SD, TN. The standard and penalty are arbitrary, undefined, remediation, “family should remedy,” or enrolling in an umbrella school. AR, MN, NC are the only states which require annual testing without alternatives.

I had my eldest daughter tested in Hawaii in 3rd grade. We weren’t stressed about it. It gave us a baseline, but nothing we didn’t already know. The other states where we’ve lived, TX and UT, didn’t require any reporting.

We’re not interested in comparing our kids to anyone, so testing isn’t important to us.

It’s not difficult to complete portfolio or evaluation requirements. Or just enroll under an umbrella school or homeschool organization if that’s an option.

How are the kids graded?

My kids are not graded.

I repeat: We don’t do grades.

We’re constantly learning. Grades ruin the process. Grades don’t mean anything. They have freedom to learn. They have freedom to take risks, to explore, to fail, to succeed, to be challenged. They are not limited to a rubric. There’s no pressure.

Grades are extrinsic motivation and we prefer intrinsic motivation.

How do the kids know how to study?

I prefer that my kids learn than cram for some test, but they have great skills to help with studying if and when they need it. They’re active readers and writers and remember lots of information and make great connections. I occasionally offer minilessons to teach a skill I think is interesting.

How do I write high school transcripts?

Transcripts are pretty subjective. I list courses completed to mastery. Based on effort, there are a range of A’s and B’s on the transcript.

My eldest audited physics. Civil Air Patrol didn’t issue grades, but she excelled at it.

I’m hoping for colleges to look at a portfolio and not put such an emphasis on grades.

No one has ever asked me for my transcript or GPA or grades since my grad school enrollment.

How do the kids prep for the SAT/ACT?

Strong vocabulary and math skills are key. We read lots and discuss for comprehension, focus on math skills all along, then learn some testing tricks. My teen’s score on the PSAT was great with no prep at all, so we’re hoping to boost that score by a couple hundred points with some practice on Kahn Academy and a vocabulary book.

Thanks to the nation’s testing mania (which I like to call ‘No Child Left Untested’ rather than ‘No Child Left Behind’), children are being barraged with a nonstop volley of standardized tests. From kindergarten to graduate school, students are subjected to an unprecedented number of high-stakes tests. ~Laurie E. Rozakis, I Before E, Except After C: Spelling for the Alphabetically Challenged

How we assess in our homeschool:

My kids are great learners. They don’t need me.

I’m not a teacher. I’m not a tutor.

I’m a guide. I’m a counselor.

Discussion

We constantly discuss what we’re learning and reading and exploring. Narration is a great tool that can be really fun with all ages.

Language is important to express our ideas, preferences, interests.

I love to hear what my kids have to say about art, music, literature, history. I love to see them make connections on their own. I love to see that lightbulb moment.

Notebooking

The kids love to write and draw about their experiences. The open-ended idea of notebooking allows for great creativity and individuality instead of a cookie-cutter worksheet with low level thought processes.

I’m not worried about benchmarks, curricula, What My Child Needs to Know in Nth Grade, grades, tests, or knowledge. We don’t participate in co-ops.

Writing

I don’t discourage essay writing, but I don’t force it. I don’t even really teach it until high school.

I think younger kids need to learn so much more than writing that we don’t focus on it at all. Kids are natural storytellers. We discuss what we read and make connections, synthesizing knowledge…and this paves the way almost effortlessly into the formulaic essays that college professors like.

I’m more concerned that my kids love learning and exploring and grow up to be free thinkers.

Educational success should be measured by how strong your desire is to keep learning. ~ Alfie Kohn

Learning is a lifelong process.

I’ve learned more outside of school, after high school and university, then I ever did inside a classroom.

Kids will learn despite school.

Sources:
https://cft.vanderbilt.edu/guides-sub-pages/blooms-taxonomy/
https://arc.duke.edu/documents/The%20difference%20between%20assessment%20and%20evaluation.pdf
http://a2zhomeschooling.com/main_articles/comparing_testing_requirements/

Linking up: The Modest Mom, Marilyn’s Treats, Strangers & Pilgrims on Earth, Donna Reidland, A Fresh Start, Life of Faith, Inspiration for Moms, Proverbs 31 Wife, Mrs. AOK, Curly Crafty Mom, Practical Mom, This Chaotic Bliss, A Pinch of Joy, Nourishing Joy, Simple Life of a Fire Wife, Teaching What is Good, Blogghetti, Let Me Tell You a Story, Raising Homemakers, Wise Woman, Messy Marriage, Christian Blogger Community, Holley Gerth, Oh My Heartsie Girl, Pat and Candy, Katherine’s Corner, A Bountiful Love, Women with Intention, Saving 4Six, Feeding Big, Creative K Kids, Life Beyond the Kitchen, Chronically Content, Life with Lorelai, RCH Reviews, Create with Joy, Life as we Know It, Oh My Heartsie Girl Friday, Being a Wordsmith, Crafty Moms Share, Hip Homeschool Moms,
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China Unit Study

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We’ve always been fascinated about China – history, geography, culture – especially Katie.

She chose China as her topic for our homeschool geography fair a couple years ago.

I think she did a great job on her display board!

China Unit Study

We celebrate Chinese New Year and we love making Chinese-inspired recipes like cashew chicken.

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Country Study Notebooking Pages

We enjoyed learning about China!

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