Jennifer Lambert

A Sacred Balance

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Hispanic Heritage Unit Study

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October 15, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

From September 15th to October 15th, the USA celebrates the generations of Hispanics who have influenced and enriched our society. But we shouldn’t just limit our learning about other cultures to one month out of the year!

The term “Hispanic,” as defined by the U.S. Census Bureau, refers to a person of Cuban, Mexican, Puerto Rican, South or Central America, or other Spanish culture or origin regardless of race.

I think it’s so important to teach our children to celebrate and value all people. We love to learn about other cultures and enjoy their art and cuisine. We love to learn history and read literature.

Often in our curriculum, the white narrative dominates and I must be diligent to seek out sources and materials to honor all cultures and peoples.

I try really hard to teach my white children about other cultures, about immigrants, and the experiences of people not like us. Sometimes, it’s uncomfortable and that’s where the learning happens. I love learning along with my kids!

Hispanic Heritage Book List

Marisol McDonald Doesn’t Match by Monica Brown

Marisol McDonald has flaming red hair and nut-brown skin. Polka dots and stripes are her favorite combination. She prefers peanut butter and jelly burritos in her lunch box. And don’t even think of asking her to choose one or the other activity at recess—she’ll just be a soccer playing pirate princess, thank you very much. To Marisol McDonald, these seemingly mismatched things make perfect sense together.

Unfortunately, they don’t always make sense to everyone else. Other people wrinkle their nose in confusion at Marisol—can’t she just be one or the other? Try as she might, in a world where everyone tries to put this biracial, Peruvian-Scottish-American girl into a box, Marisol McDonald doesn’t match. And that’s just fine with her.

A mestiza Peruvian American of European, Jewish, and Amerindian heritage, renowned author Monica Brown wrote this lively story to bring her own experience of being mismatched to life. Her buoyant prose is perfectly matched by Sara Palacios’ engaging acrylic illustrations.

Last Stop on Market Street by Matt de la Peña 

Every Sunday after church, CJ and his grandma ride the bus across town. But today, CJ wonders why they don’t own a car like his friend Colby. Why doesn’t he have an iPod like the boys on the bus? How come they always have to get off in the dirty part of town? Each question is met with an encouraging answer from grandma, who helps him see the beauty—and fun—in their routine and the world around them.

This energetic ride through a bustling city highlights the wonderful perspective only grandparent and grandchild can share, and comes to life through Matt de la Pena’s vibrant text and Christian Robinson’s radiant illustrations.

Carmela Full of Wishes by Matt de la Peña

When Carmela wakes up on her birthday, her wish has already come true–she’s finally old enough to join her big brother as he does the family errands. Together, they travel through their neighborhood, past the crowded bus stop, the fenced-off repair shop, and the panadería, until they arrive at the Laundromat, where Carmela finds a lone dandelion growing in the pavement. But before she can blow its white fluff away, her brother tells her she has to make a wish. If only she can think of just the right wish to make . . .

With lyrical, stirring text and stunning, evocative artwork, Matt de la Peña and Christian Robinson have crafted a moving ode to family, to dreamers, and to finding hope in the most unexpected places.

Love by Matt de la Peña

In this heartfelt celebration of love, Newbery Medal-winning author Matt de la Peña and bestselling illustrator Loren Long depict the many ways we experience this universal bond, which carries us from the day we are born throughout the years of our childhood and beyond. With a lyrical text that’s soothing and inspiring, this tender tale is a needed comfort and a new classic that will resonate with readers of every age.

Miguel and the Grand Harmony by Matt de la Peña

La Música exists in many places—in the twang of a guitar, in the beat of a drum, even in the whistling wind and the morning bird’s song. She brings color and life wherever she goes, connecting people to a grand harmony. And in the town of Santa Cecilia, she is everywhere.But when La Música discovers a boy with longing in his heart and no music in his home, she vows to help him find his passion.Join award-winning author Matt de la Peña and Pixar artist Ana Ramírez in this story inspired by the Disney Pixar film Coco—a story about friendship, family, and the power of music. 

Hairs/Pelitos by Sandra Cisneros

This jewel-like vignette from Sandra Cisneros’s best-selling The House on Mango Street shows, through simple, intimate portraits, the diversity among us.

Tomas and the Library Lady by Pat Mora

Tomás is a son of migrant workers. Every summer he and his family follow the crops north from Texas to Iowa, spending long, arduous days in the fields. At night they gather around to hear Grandfather’s wonderful stories. But before long, Tomás knows all the stories by heart. “There are more stories in the library,”Papa Grande tells him.  The very next day, Tomás meets the library lady and a whole new world opens up for him. 

Based on the true story of the Mexican-American author and educator Tomás Rivera, a child of migrant workers who went on to become the first minority Chancellor in the University of California system, this inspirational story suggests what libraries–and education–can make possible.  Raul Colón’s warm, expressive paintings perfectly interweave the harsh realities of Tomás’s life, the joyful imaginings he finds in books, and his special relationships with a wise grandfather and a caring librarian. 

Schomburg: The Man Who Built a Library by Carole Boston Weatherford

Amid the scholars, poets, authors, and artists of the Harlem Renaissance stood an Afro–Puerto Rican named Arturo Schomburg. This law clerk’s life’s passion was to collect books, letters, music, and art from Africa and the African diaspora and bring to light the achievements of people of African descent through the ages. When Schomburg’s collection became so big it began to overflow his house (and his wife threatened to mutiny), he turned to the New York Public Library, where he created and curated a collection that was the cornerstone of a new Negro Division. A century later, his groundbreaking collection, known as the Schomburg Center for Research in Black Culture, has become a beacon to scholars all over the world.

Waiting for the Biblioburro by Monica Brown

Ana loves stories. She often makes them up to help her little brother fall asleep. But in her small village there are only a few books and she has read them all. One morning, Ana wakes up to the clip-clop of hooves, and there before her, is the most wonderful sight: a traveling library resting on the backs of two burros‑all the books a little girl could dream of, with enough stories to encourage her to create one of her own.

Inspired by the heroic efforts of real-life librarian Luis Soriano, award-winning picture book creators Monica Brown and John Parra introduce readers to the mobile library that journeys over mountains and through valleys to bring literacy and culture to rural Colombia, and to the children who wait for the BiblioBurro.

Playing Loteria /El juego de la loteria by Rene Colato Lainez

Together a little boy and his grandma discover a world of language and realize that loved ones have special ways of understanding each other.

From North to South / Del Norte al Sur by René Laínez

Near the border, the cars began to move very slowly. Papá, go fast. I want to see Mamá, I said. José loves helping Mamá in the garden outside their home in California. But when Mamá is sent back to Mexico for not having proper papers, José and his Papá face an uncertain future. What will it be like to visit Mamá in Tijuana? When will Mamá be able to come home? Award-winning children s book author René Colato Laínez tackles the difficult and timely subject of family separation with exquisite tenderness. René is donating a portion of his royalties to El Centro Madre Assunta, a refuge for women and children who are waiting to be reunited with their families up north. Joe Cepeda s bright and engaging illustrations bring this story of hope to vivid life.

Soñadores by Yuyi Morales

En 1994, Yuyi Morales dejó su hogar en Xalapa, México, para emigrar a Estados Unidos con su hijo pequeño. Aunque dejó atrás casi todas sus pertenencias, no llegó con las manos vacías.

Trajo consigo su fortaleza, su trabajo, su pasión, sus esperanzas y sueños… y sus historias. El nuevo y magnífico libro de Yuyi Morales, Soñadores, se centra en la búsqueda por encontrar un hogar en un nuevo lugar. El trayecto de Yuyi y su hijo Kelly no fue fácil, ya que ella no hablaba inglés en esa época. Pero, juntos, descubrieron un lugar desconocido e increíble: la biblioteca pública. Allí, libro a libro, descifraron la lengua de esta nueva tierra y formaron en ella su hogar.

Soñadores es un homenaje a los migrantes y a todo lo que traen con ellos, y aportan, cuando dejan sus países. Es una historia de familia. Una historia que nos recuerda que todos somos soñadores que llevamos nuestros propios regalos donde quiera que vayamos. Bella y poderosa en todo momento, pero especialmente de una urgente premura hoy en día en que el futuro de los dreamers es incierto, esta es una historia actual y eterna.

El poético texto se complementa con unas espléndidas ilustraciones llenas de detalle y simbolismo. Incluye un ensayo autobiográfico sobre la experiencia de Yuyi, una bibliografía de los libros que la han inspirado (y la siguen inspirando) y una descripción de las bellas imágenes, texturas y recuerdos que utilizó para la creación de este libro.

También disponible la edición en inglés, Dreamers.

La Frontera: El Viaje Con Papa / My Journey with Papa by Deborah Mills

Join a young boy and his father on a daring journey from Mexico to Texas to find a new life. They’ll need all the resilience and courage they can muster to safely cross the border ? la frontera ? and to make a home for themselves in a new land.

My Shoes and I: Crossing Three Borders / Mis zapatos y yo: Cruzando tres fronteras by René Colato Laínez 

Young René’s mother has sent him a new pair of shoes from the United States. He loves his new shoes. “They walk everywhere I walk. They jump every time I jump. They run as fast as me. We always cross the finish line at the same time.”

René—with his new shoes—and his father set off on the long journey to meet his mother in the United States. He says goodbye to his friends in El Salvador, and “Uno, dos, tres, my shoes and I are ready to go.” The trip is difficult. They take buses and walk across El Salvador, into Guatemala and then into Mexico. His brand-new shoes lose their shine, turning dirty and gray. They become elephants, pushing against the wind; race cars, fleeing hungry dogs; swim shoes, escaping floods; and submarines, navigating through sticky mud. When holes appear on the soles of his shoes, his father won’t let him give up. “René, my strong boy, we want to be with Mamá.”

Sharing his own experiences, René Colato Laínez’s moving bilingual picture book brings to life the experiences of many young children who make the arduous journey from Central America to the United States in search of a better life.

Round Is a Tortilla: A Book of Shapes by Roseanne Thong

In this lively picture book, children discover shapes all around them: rectangles are ice-cream carts and stone metates, while triangles are slices of watermelon and quesadillas. Many of the featured objects are Latino in origin, and all are universal in appeal. With rich illustrations, a fun-to-read rhyming text, and an informative glossary, this playful concept book will reinforce the shapes found in every child’s day!

One Is a Piñata: A Book of Numbers by Roseanne Thong

Boisterous illustrations and rhyming text: One is a rainbow. One is a cake. One is a piñata that’s ready to break! In this lively picture book, a companion to the Pura Belpré–honored Green Is a Chile Pepper, children discover a fiesta of numbers in the world around them, all the way from one to ten. Many of the featured objects are Latino in origin and all are universal in appeal. With rich, boisterous illustrations, a fun-to-read rhyming text, and an informative glossary, this vibrant book enumerates the joys of counting and the wonders that abound in every child’s day!

Green Is a Chile Pepper: A Book of Colors by Roseanne Thong

In this lively picture book that Booklist described as “a cheerful color-concept book that presents a slice of Latino culture through food and fun,” children discover a world of colors all around them: red is spices and swirling skirts, yellow is masa, tortillas, and sweet corn cake. Many of the featured objects are Latino in origin, and all are universal in appeal. With rich, boisterous illustrations, fun-to-read rhyming text, and an informative glossary, this playful concept book will reinforce the colors found in every child’s day!

What Can You Do with a Paleta / ¿Qué Puedes Hacer con una Paleta? by Carmen Tafolla

Abuela (English Edition with Spanish Phrases) by Arthur Dorros

In this bilingual paperback edition, discover the joys of a paleta—the traditional Mexican popsicle treat sold from the wagon with the tinkly bell that brings children running from every direction. Create a masterpiece, make tough choices (strawberry or coconut?), or cool off on a warm summer’s day—there’s so much to do with a paleta.

Come join Rosalba and her grandmother, her abuela, on a magical journey as they fly over the streets, sights, and people of New York City which sparkles below. The story is narrated in English, and sprinkled with Spanish phrases as Abuela points out places that they explore together. The exhilaration in Rosalba’s and Abuela’s story is magnified by the loving bond that only a grandmother and granddaughter can share.

In the Country We Love: My Family Divided by Diane Guerrero

Diane Guerrero, the television actress from the megahit Orange is the New Black and Jane the Virgin, was just fourteen years old on the day her parents were detained and deported while she was at school. Born in the U.S., Guerrero was able to remain in the country and continue her education, depending on the kindness of family friends who took her in and helped her build a life and a successful acting career for herself, without the support system of her family.

In the Country We Love is a moving, heartbreaking story of one woman’s extraordinary resilience in the face of the nightmarish struggles of undocumented residents in this country. There are over 11 million undocumented immigrants living in the US, many of whom have citizen children, whose lives here are just as precarious, and whose stories haven’t been told. Written with bestselling author Michelle Burford, this memoir is a tale of personal triumph that also casts a much-needed light on the fears that haunt the daily existence of families likes the author’s and on a system that fails them over and over.

Enchanted Air: Two Cultures, Two Wings: A Memoir by Margarita Engle

In this poetic memoir, which won the Pura Belpré Author Award, was a YALSA Nonfiction Finalist, and was named a Walter Dean Myers Award Honoree, acclaimed author Margarita Engle tells of growing up as a child of two cultures during the Cold War.

Margarita is a girl from two worlds. Her heart lies in Cuba, her mother’s tropical island country, a place so lush with vibrant life that it seems like a fairy tale kingdom. But most of the time she lives in Los Angeles, lonely in the noisy city and dreaming of the summers when she can take a plane through the enchanted air to her beloved island. Words and images are her constant companions, friendly and comforting when the children at school are not.

Then a revolution breaks out in Cuba. Margarita fears for her far-away family. When the hostility between Cuba and the United States erupts at the Bay of Pigs Invasion, Margarita’s worlds collide in the worst way possible. How can the two countries she loves hate each other so much? And will she ever get to visit her beautiful island again?

The Distance Between Us: Young Readers Edition by Reyna Grande

When her parents make the dangerous and illegal trek across the Mexican border in pursuit of the American dream, Reyna and her siblings are forced to live with their stern grandmother, as they wait for their parents to build the foundation of a new life.

But when things don’t go quite as planned, Reyna finds herself preparing for her own journey to “El Otro Lado” to live with the man who has haunted her imagination for years: her long-absent father. Both funny and heartbreaking, The Distance Between Us sheds light on the immigrant experience beautifully capturing the struggle that Reyna and her siblings endured while trying to assimilate to a different culture, language, and family life in El Otro Lado (The Other Side).

Path to the Stars: My Journey from Girl Scout to Rocket Scientist by Sylvia Acevedo

A meningitis outbreak in their underprivileged neighborhood left Sylvia Acevedo’s family forever altered. As she struggled in the aftermath of loss, young Sylvia’s life transformed when she joined the Brownies. The Girl Scouts taught her how to take control of her world and nourished her love of numbers and science.
     With new confidence, Sylvia navigated shifting cultural expectations at school and at home, forging her own trail to become one of the first Latinx to graduate with a master’s in engineering from Stanford University and going on to become a rocket scientist at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory.

The Astronaut With a Song for the Stars: The Story of Dr. Ellen Ochoa by Julia Finley Mosca

Growing up in a family of immigrants, Ellen dreamed of becoming a professional flutist, but all of that changed when she discovered engineering in college. Though she was told that field of study wasn’t for girls, the bright young scientist refused to give up-ultimately becoming a NASA astronaut who shattered barriers and rocketed to success!

The Storyteller’s Candle / La Velita De Los Cuentos by Lucia Gonzalez 

The winter of 1929 feels especially cold to cousins Hildamar and Santiago—they arrived in New York City from sunny Puerto Rico only months before. Their island home feels very far away indeed, especially with Three Kings’ Day rapidly approaching. But then a magical thing happened. A visitor appears in their class, a gifted storyteller and librarian by the name of Pura Belpré. She opens the children’s eyes to the public library and its potential to be the living, breathing heart of the community. The library, after all, belongs to everyone—whether you speak Spanish, English, or both. The award-winning team of Lucía González and Lulu Delacre have crafted an homage to Pura Belpré, New York City’s first Latina librarian. Through her vision and dedication, the warmth of Puerto Rico came to the island of Manhattan in a most unexpected way.

Sylvia & Aki by Winifred Conkling

Young Sylvia Mendez never expected to be at the center of a landmark legal battle. Young Aki Munemitsu never expected to be sent away from her home and her life as she knew it. The two girls definitely never expected to know each other, until their lives intersected on a Southern California farm in a way that changed the country forever. Who are Sylvia and Aki? And why did their family stories matter then and still matter today? This book reveals the remarkable, never-before-told story—based on true events—of Mendez vs. Westminster School District, the California court case that desegregated schools for Latino children and set the stage for Brown vs. Topeka Board of Education at the national level.

Who Was Selena? by Max and Kate Bisantz 

As a young girl, Selena Quintanilla sang in a band called Selena y Los Dinos with her brother and sister. The family performed at fairs, weddings, quinceañeras, and on street corners in their native Texas. Selena learned how to sing in Spanish and soon became hugely popular within the Latino community–so much so that she became the best-selling Latin artist of the 1990s. Selena was poised to be a great success, but her life was cut short after being fatally wounded by the president of her fan club. Selena’s contributions to music and fashion during her life made her one of the top Latin musicians in the 1990s, and readers will want to know more about the woman who introduced the world to Tejano music.

I Got This: To Gold and Beyond by Laurie Hernandez

Gold medal-winning Olympic gymnast and Dancing with the Stars champion Laurie Hernandez shares her story in her own words in this debut book for fans of all ages—with never-before-seen photos!

At sixteen years old, Laurie Hernandez has already made many of her dreams come true—and yet it’s only the beginning for this highly accomplished athlete. A Latina Jersey girl, Laurie saw her life take a dramatic turn last summer when she was chosen to be a part of the 2016 US Olympic gymnastics team. After winning gold in Rio as part of the Final Five, Laurie also earned an individual silver medal for her performance on the balance beam. Nicknamed “the Human Emoji” for her wide-eyed and animated expressions, Laurie continued to dance her way into everyone’s hearts while competing on the hit reality TV show Dancing with the Stars, where she was the youngest-ever winner of the Mirrorball Trophy.

Poignant and funny, Laurie’s story is about growing up with the dream of becoming an Olympian and what it took to win gold. She talks about her loving family, her rigorous training, her intense sacrifices, and her amazing triumphs.

Be prepared to fall in love with and be mesmerized by America’s newest sweetheart all over again.

That’s Not Fair! / ¡No Es Justo!: Emma Tenayuca’s Struggle for Justice/La lucha de Emma Tenayuca por la justicia by Carmen Tafolla and Sharyll Teneyuca

A vivid depiction of the early injustices encountered by a young Mexican-American girl in San Antonio in the 1920’s, this book tells the true story of Emma Tenayuca. Emma learns to care deeply about poverty and hunger during a time when many Mexican Americans were starving to death and working unreasonably long hours at slave wages in the city’s pecan-shelling factories. Through astute perception, caring, and personal action, Emma begins to get involved, and eventually, at the age of 21, leads 12,000 workers in the first significant historical action in the Mexican-American struggle for justice. Emma Tenayuca’s story serves as a model for young and old alike about courage, compassion, and the role everyone can play in making the world more fair.

Separate Is Never Equal: Sylvia Mendez and Her Family’s Fight for Desegregation by Duncan Tonatiuh

Almost 10 years before Brown vs. Board of Education, Sylvia Mendez and her parents helped end school segregation in California. An American citizen of Mexican and Puerto Rican heritage who spoke and wrote perfect English, Mendez was denied enrollment to a “Whites only” school. Her parents took action by organizing the Hispanic community and filing a lawsuit in federal district court. Their success eventually brought an end to the era of segregated education in California.

Dolores Huerta: A Hero to Migrant Workers by Sarah Warren

Dolores is a teacher, a mother, and a friend. She wants to know why her students are too hungry to listen, why they don’t have shoes to wear to school. Dolores is a warrior, an organizer, and a peacemaker. When she finds out that the farm workers in her community are poorly paid and working under dangerous conditions, she stands up for their rights.

This is the story of Dolores Huerta and the extraordinary battle she waged to ensure fair and safe workplaces for migrant workers. The powerful text, paired with Robert Casilla’s vibrant watercolor-and-pastel illustrations, brings Dolores’s amazing journey to life. A timeline, additional reading, articles, websites, and resources for teachers are included.

My Name is Celia/Me llamo Celia: The Life of Celia Cruz/la vida de Celia Cruz by Monica Brown

This bilingual book allows young readers to enter Celia Cruz’s life as she becomes a well-known singer in her homeland of Cuba, then moves to New York City and Miami where she and others create a new type of music called salsa.

An inspiring picture book biography of storyteller, puppeteer, and New York City’s first Puerto Rican librarian, who championed bilingual literature.

Planting Stories: The Life of Librarian and Storyteller Pura Belpré by Anika Aldamuy Denise

When she came to America in 1921, Pura Belpré carried the cuentos folklóricos of her Puerto Rican homeland. Finding a new home at the New York Public Library as a bilingual assistant, she turned her popular retellings into libros and spread story seeds across the land. Today, these seeds have grown into a lush landscape as generations of children and storytellers continue to share her tales and celebrate Pura’s legacy.

Dancing Hands: How Teresa Carreño Played the Piano for President Lincoln by Margarita Engle

As a little girl, Teresa Carreño loved to let her hands dance across the beautiful keys of the piano. If she felt sad, music cheered her up, and when she was happy, the piano helped her share that joy. Soon she was writing her own songs and performing in grand cathedrals. Then a revolution in Venezuela forced her family to flee to the United States. Teresa felt lonely in this unfamiliar place, where few of the people she met spoke Spanish. Worst of all, there was fighting in her new home, too—the Civil War.

Still, Teresa kept playing, and soon she grew famous as the talented Piano Girl who could play anything from a folk song to a sonata. So famous, in fact, that President Abraham Lincoln wanted her to play at the White House! Yet with the country torn apart by war, could Teresa’s music bring comfort to those who needed it most?

Dona Flor: A Tall Tale About a Giant Woman with a Great Big Heart by Pat Mora

Doña Flor is a giant lady who lives in a tiny village in the American Southwest. Popular with her neighbors, she lets the children use her flowers as trumpets and her leftover tortillas as rafts. Flor loves to read, too, and she can often be found reading aloud to the children. One day, all the villagers hear a terrifying noise: it sounds like a huge animal bellowing just outside their village. Everyone is afraid, but not Flor. She wants to protect her beloved neighbors, so with the help of her animal friends, she sets off for the highest mesa to find the creature. Soon enough, though, the joke is on Flor and her friends, who come to rescue her, as she discovers the small secret behind that great big noise.

Mama The Alien/Mama la Extraterrestre by Rene Colato Lainez

When Mama’s purse falls on the floor, Sofia gets a peek at Mama’s old Resident Alien card and comes to the conclusion that Mama might be an alien from outer space. Sofia heads to the library to learn more about aliens. Some are small and some are tall. Some have four fingers on each hand and some have large, round eyes. Their skin can be gray or blue or green. But Mama looks like a human mother! Could she really be an alien? Sofia is still puzzling out this mystery when she sees an alien-looking Mama one night. It turns out Mama is doing a beauty treatment so she will look her best for her citizenship ceremony. That’s when Sofia realizes that in English, an alien can be someone from another planet, and it can also be a person from another country. Just like Mama! Filled with imagination and humor, Mama the Alien/Mama la extraterrestre is a lighthearted immigration tale and a celebration of family, no matter where that family comes from. Even if it s outer space!”

I Love Saturdays y domingos by Alma Flor Ada

Saturdays and Sundays are very special days for the child in this story. On Saturdays, she visits Grandma and Grandpa, who come from a European-American background, and on Sundays — los domingos — she visits Abuelito y Abuelita, who are Mexican-American. While the two sets of grandparents are different in many ways, they also have a great deal in common — in particular, their love for their granddaughter.
While we follow our narrator to the circus and the pier, share stories from her grandparents’ pasts, and celebrate her birthday, the depth and joy of both cultures are conveyed in Spanish and English. This affirmation of both heritages will speak to all children who want to know more about their own families and ethnic backgrounds.

Maya’s Blanket/La Manta de Maya by Monica Brown

Little Maya has a special blanket that Grandma stitched with her own two hands. As Maya grows, her blanket becomes worn and frayed, so with Grandma s help, Maya makes it into a dress. Over time the dress is made into a skirt, a shawl, a scarf, a hair ribbon, and finally, a bookmark. Each item has special, magical, meaning for Maya; it animates her adventures, protects her, or helps her in some way. But when Maya loses her bookmark, she preserves her memories by creating a book about her adventures and love of these items. When Maya grows up, she shares her book Maya’s Blanket/La manta de Maya with her own little daughter while snuggled under her own special blanket. Inspired by the traditional Yiddish folk song Hob Ikh Mir a Mantl ( I Had a Little Coat ), this delightful story puts a child-focused, Latino spin on the tale of an item that is made into smaller and smaller items. Maya’s Blanket/La manta de Maya charmingly brings to life this celebration creativity, recycling, and enduring family love.

Sofia Valdez, Future Prez by Andrea Beaty

Every morning, Abuelo walks Sofia to school . . . until one day, when Abuelo hurts his ankle at a local landfill and he can no longer do so. Sofia misses her Abuelo and wonders what she can do about the dangerous Mount Trashmore. Then she gets an idea—the town can turn the slimy mess into a park! She brainstorms and plans and finally works up the courage to go to City Hall—only to be told by a clerk that she can’t build a park because she’s just a kid! Sofia is down but not out, and she sets out to prove what one kid can do.

A Gift from Abuela by Cecilia Ruiz

The first time Abuela holds Nina, her heart overflows with tenderness. And as Nina grows up, she and Abuela spend plenty of time together. Abuela can’t help thinking how much she’d like to give Nina a very special treat, so she saves a little bit of her money every week — a few pesos here, a few pesos there. When the world turns upside down, Abuela’s dream of a surprise for Nina seems impossible. Luckily, time spent together — and the love Abuela and Nina have for each other — could turn out to be the very best gift of all. With a soft and subtle hand, author-illustrator Cecilia Ruiz draws from her own history to share a deeply personal tale about remembering what’s most important when life starts to get in the way.

The Quiet Place by Sarah Stewart

When Isabel and her family move to the United States, Isabel misses all the things she left behind in Mexico, especially her aunt Lupita and hearing people speak Spanish. But she also experiences some wonderful new things–her first snow storm and a teacher who does not speak Spanish but has a big smile. Even better, Papa and her brother Chavo help her turn a big box into her own quiet place, where she keeps her books and toys and writes letters to Aunt Lupita. As she decorates and adds more and more on to her quiet place, it is here that Isabel feels the most at home in her new country while she learns to adjust to the changes in her life.

Set in the 1950s and told through Isabel’s letters to her aunt, Sarah Stewart and Caldecott Medalist David Small have created a charming and unforgettable young heroine who will win the hearts of readers in this story of immigration and assimilation. 

What Can You Do With a Rebozo?/¿Qué puedes hacer con un rebozo? by Carmen Tafolla

A cradle for baby, a superhero’s cape, a warm blanket on a cool night–there are so many things you can do with a rebozo. Through the eyes of a young girl, readers are introduced to the traditional shawl found in many Mexican and Mexican-American households.

Growing Up With Tamales / Los tamales de Ana by Gwendolyn Zepeda

“My name is Ana. Every year, my family makes tamales for Christmas. This year, I am six, so I get to mix the dough, which is made of cornmeal. My sister Lidia is eight, so she gets to spread the dough on the corn husk leaves. I wish I was eight, so that my hands would be big enough to spread the dough just right–not too thick and not too thin.”

And so the years pass, and Ana turns eight, ten, twelve, fourteen, sixteen. But every year, big sister Lidia is always two years older. Ana envies her elder sibling and wishes she could do what Lidia does: put just the right amount of meat inside the tamales and roll them up; steam the tamales without scalding herself with the hot, hot steam; chop and cook the meat for the tamales without cutting or burning her hands.

When she turns eighteen, though, Ana knows she will keep making tamales and she will be able to do all of the steps herself in her very own factory. When Christmas comes around, Ana will deliver tamales to all of her customers around the world, in delivery trucks that say “Ana’s Tamales.” And maybe Ana will even let Lidia work for her.

Gwendolyn Zepeda’s rhythmic prose is combined with April Ward’s bright illustrations to create an affectionate and amusing story about sibling relationships that introduces an important Hispanic holiday tradition–making tamales!

Mango Moon by Diane de Anda

When a father is taken away from his family and facing deportation, his children are left to grieve and wonder about what comes next. Maricela, Manuel, and their mother face the many challenges of having their lives completely changed by the absence of their father and husband. Their day-to-day norm now includes moving to a new house, missed soccer games and birthday parties, and emptiness. Though Mango Moon shows what life is like from a child’s perspective when a parent is deported, Maricela learns that her love for her father continues on even though he’s no longer part of her daily life.

Mango, Abuela, and Me by Meg Medina

Mia’s abuela has left her sunny house with parrots and palm trees to live with Mia and her parents in the city. The night she arrives, Mia tries to share her favorite book with Abuela before they go to sleep and discovers that Abuela can’t read the words inside. So while they cook, Mia helps Abuela learn English (“Dough. Masa”), and Mia learns some Spanish too, but it’s still hard for Abuela to learn the words she needs to tell Mia all her stories. Then Mia sees a parrot in the pet-shop window and has the perfecto idea for how to help them all communicate a little better.

Walk with Me by Jairo Buitrago

A deceptively simple, imaginative story depicting the complex emotional reality of a girl whose father no longer lives at home.

The girl conjures up an imaginary companion, a lion, who will come with her on the long walk home from school. He will help her to pick up her baby brother from daycare and shop at the store (which has cut off the family’s credit), and he’ll keep her company all along the way until she is safe at home. He will always come back when she needs him, unlike the father whom she sees only in a photograph — a photograph in which he clearly resembles a lion.

Alma and How She Got Her Name by Juana Martinez-Neal

If you ask her, Alma Sofia Esperanza José Pura Candela has way too many names: six! How did such a small person wind up with such a large name? Alma turns to Daddy for an answer and learns of Sofia, the grandmother who loved books and flowers; Esperanza, the great-grandmother who longed to travel; José, the grandfather who was an artist; and other namesakes, too. As she hears the story of her name, Alma starts to think it might be a perfect fit after all — and realizes that she will one day have her own story to tell.

All Around Us by Xelena Gonzalez

Grandpa says circles are all around us. He points to the rainbow that rises high in the sky after a thundercloud has come. “Can you see? That’s only half of the circle. That rest of it is down below, in the earth.” He and his granddaughter meditate on gardens and seeds, on circles seen and unseen, inside and outside us, on where our bodies come from and where they return to. They share and create family traditions in this stunning exploration of the cycles of life and nature.

The Composition by Antonio Skarmeta

Pedro is a nine-year-old boy whose main interest in life is playing soccer. The arrest of his friend Daniel’s father and a visit to the school of an army captain who wants the children to write a composition entitled “What My Family Does at Night” suddenly force Pedro to make a difficult choice. 

César: ¡Sí, se puede! Yes, We Can! by Carmen T. Bernier-Grand

Born in 1927 in Yuma, Arizona, César Chavez lived the hardscrabble life of a migrant worker during the Depression. Although his mother wanted him to get an education, César left school after eighth grade to work. He grew to be a charismatic leader and founded the National Farm Workers Association, an organization that fought for basic rights for farm workers. In powerful poems and dramatic stylized illustrations, Carmen T. Bernier-Grand and David Díaz pay tribute to Chavez’s legacy helping migrant workers improve their lives by doing things by themselves for themselves.

Clemente! by Willie Perdomo

Born in Puerto Rico, Roberto Clemente was the first Latin American player to be inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame, and the only player for whom the five-year initiation period was waived. Known not only for his exceptional baseball skills but also for his extensive charity work in Latin America, Clemente was well-loved during his eighteen years playing for the Pittsburgh Pirates. He died in a plane crash while bringing aid supplies to earthquake victims in Nicaragua.

Danza!: Amalia Hernández and Mexico’s Folkloric Ballet by Duncan Tonatiuh

Danza! is a celebration of Hernández’s life and of the rich history of dance in Mexico. As a child, Amalia always thought she would grow up to be a teacher, until she saw a performance of dancers in her town square. She was fascinated by the way the dancers twirled and swayed, and she knew that someday she would be a dancer, too. She began to study many different types of dance, including ballet and modern, under some of the best teachers in the world. Hernández traveled throughout Mexico studying and learning regional dances. Soon she founded her own dance company, El Ballet Folklórico de México, where she integrated her knowledge of ballet and modern dance with folkloric dances. The group began to perform all over the country and soon all over the world, becoming an international sensation that still tours today.

Joelito’s Big Decision: La Gran Decisión de Joelito by Ann Berlak

Every Friday evening 9 year old Joelito goes with his family to MacMann’s for a juicy burger. But this Friday is different. This time, Joelito’s best friend Brandon is standing in a crowd outside the fast food restaurant protesting the low pay his parents earn there. Will Joelito cross the picket line for a tasty burger? Find out in Joelito’s Big Decision (La gran decisión de Joelito), in English & Spanish. Ages: 6-12. “…the flow of the story is not only well-paced but lovingly told. It feels natural, as if based on conversations overheard among children. Berlak has a vivid understanding of the issue as seen through the fourth-grader’s eyes… The influence of classic Mexican folkloric art is proudly overt… In fact, the creative visuals should only enhance the readers’ sense of wonder. Camacho is widely celebrated for his murals…The story of workers fighting for dignity and security for their families is ongoing. The heritage of struggle is well told here.” The Cultural Worker “This is a wonderful book taking on a timely topic. What do you do when Friday is your favorite day because you get to go have hamburgers at your favorite restaurant, BUT, when you get there your friends are outside protesting? …Will you stand up or sit down (and eat)? 

Kitchen Dance by Maurie J. Manning

A little girl wakes in the night to mysterious, inviting noises. She rouses her brother, and they sneak downstairs and peek into the kitchen. To their amazement and delight, their parents are dancing and singing—“?Como te quiero! Oh, how I love you!” —as they clean up and put food away. Mama and Papa discover the two kids and sweep them into the embrace of a family dance. Slowly, the song changes to a lullaby. . . the children close sleepy eyes. . . then Mama and Papa tuck them into bed again. The story reads like poetry. The art moves from subdued tones to hot tropical colors and back again. And as you turn the pages, you can almost hear the music—changing from a pop ballad to a hot tango to a cozy lullaby. All in all, it’s a perfect bedtime book, with a satisfying hugs-and-kisses ending.

The Little Doctor /El Doctorcito by Juan J. Guerra

Salvador raced home from school to share exciting news with his abuela: he made an A+ on his science test! But at home, he learns that his grandmother needs his help. She is going to the doctor and wants her grandson to interpret for her. Abuela is nervous because she has never been to a doctor in the United States. In El Salvador, she either saw a curandera or drank te de manzanilla when she felt sick.

When he learns that none of the physicians speak Spanish, the boy realizes that he is completely responsible for making sure the doctor understands his grandmother and that she understands his instructions! But in spite of his help, the visit does not go well. The doctor rushes in and out. He doesn’t listen to Abuela. And he tells Salvador that she should not eat so much Mexican food! Abuela is so upset that she threatens not to take the medication the doctor prescribes! What can Salvador do to help her?

Looking for Bongo by Eric Velasquez

The boy knows Bongo was right there with him this morning—but suddenly, Bongo is missing. He asks his whole family if they’ve seen the stuffed toy.  “Yo no sé,” says abuela, “I don’t know.” 

Mom and Dad haven’t seen him either. And Gato just meows and runs away. 

When he finds Bongo, the boy is thrilled—but he still doesn’t understand how his toy ended up there. So he sets a trap to catch the Bongo thief.

Luis Paints the World by Terry Farish

Luis wishes Nico wasn’t leaving for the Army. To show Nico he doesn’t need to go, Luis begins a mural on the alleyway wall. Their house, the river, the Parque de las Ardillas―it’s the world, all right there. Won’t Nico miss Mami’s sweet flan? What about their baseball games in the street?

But as Luis awaits his brother’s return from duty, his own world expands as well, through swooping paint and the help of their bustling Dominican neighborhood.

Martí’s Song for Freedom / Martí y sus versos por la libertad by Emma Otheguy

A bilingual biography of José Martí, who dedicated his life to the promotion of liberty, the abolishment of slavery, political independence for Cuba, and intellectual freedom. Written in verse with excerpts from Martí’s seminal work, Versos sencillos. 

My Papi Has a Motorcycle by Isabel Quintero

When Daisy Ramona zooms around her neighborhood with her papi on his motorcycle, she sees the people and places she’s always known. She also sees a community that is rapidly changing around her.

But as the sun sets purple-blue-gold behind Daisy Ramona and her papi, she knows that the love she feels will always be there.

Little Night/Nochecita by Yuyi Morales

As the long day comes to an end, Mother Sky fills a tub with falling stars and calls, “Bath time for Little Night!”

Little Night answers from afar, “Can’t come. I am hiding and you have to find me, Mama. Find me now!”

Where could Little Night be? Down a rabbit hole? In a blueberry field? Among the stripes of bees? Exquisitely painted and as gentle as Little Night’s dress crocheted from clouds, this is a story to treasure.

Octopus Stew by Eric Velasquez

The octopus Grandma is cooking has grown to titanic proportions. “¡Tenga cuidado!” Ramsey shouts. “Be careful!” But it’s too late. The octopus traps Grandma!

Ramsey uses both art and intellect to free his beloved abuela.

Then the story takes a surprising twist. And it can be read two ways. Open the fold-out pages to find Ramsey telling a story to his family. Keep the pages folded, and Ramsey’s octopus adventure is real.

This beautifully illustrated picture book, drawn from the author’s childhood memories, celebrates creativity, heroism, family, grandmothers, grandsons, Puerto Rican food, Latinx culture and more.

Pele, King of Soccer/Pele, El Rey del Futbol by Monica Brown

This bilingual picture book will inspire, teach, and amaze readers as they learn about the man who revolutionized the sport of soccer.

Do you know how a poor boy from Brazil who loved fútbol more than anything else became the biggest soccer star the world has ever known?

Rene Has Two Last Names / Rene tiene dos apellidos by Rene Colato Lainez

Young Rene is from El Salvador, and he doesn’t understand why his name has to be different in the United States. When he writes Colato, he sees his paternal grandparents, Rene and Amelia. When he writes Lainez, he sees his maternal grandparents, Angela and Julio. Without his second “like a hamburger without the meat or a pizza without cheese or a hot dog without a wiener.”

His new classmates giggle when Rene tells them his name. “That’s a long dinosaur name,” one says. “Your name is longer than an anaconda,” another laughs. But Rene doesn’t want to lose the part of him that comes from his mother’s family. So when the students are given a project to create a family tree, Rene is determined to explain the importance of using both of his last names. On the day of his presentation, Rene explains that he is as hard working as Abuelo Rene, who is a farmer, and as creative as his Abuela Amelia, who is a potter. He can tell stories like his Abuelo Julio and enjoys music like his Abuela Angela.

Roses for Isabella by Diana Cohn

Roses for Isabella invites us to experience life in Ecuador through the eyes of a young girl who keeps a journal and loves to write. We learn about Isabella’s parents who work on one of the hundreds of farms growing beautiful roses that are sold all over the world. But not all of these farms are fair to workers and kind to the earth. Through Isabella, we learn how her family’s life changes for the better when her parents find work at a Fair Trade farm. 

Sofi and the Magic, Musical Mural / Sofi y el mágico mural musical by Raquel M. Ortiz

When Sofi walks through her barrio to the local store, she always passes a huge mural with images from Puerto Rico: musicians, dancers, tropical flowers and her least favorite a vejigante, a character from carnival that wears a scary mask.

One day on her way home from the bodega, she stops in front of the mural. Is one of the dancers inviting her to be his partner? “Okay, lets dance,” Sofi giggles, and suddenly shes in Old San Juan, surrounded by dancers and musicians playing bongos, tambourines and güiros. She begins to dance and sing with her new friends, but her pleasure turns to fear when the vejigante wearing a black jumper with yellow fringe and a red, three-horned mask spins her around and around! What does he want from her? How can she get away?

Tito Puente, Mambo King/Tito Puente, Rey del Mambo by Monica Brown 

In this vibrant bilingual picture book biography of musician Tito Puente, readers will dance along to the beat of this mambo king’s life. Tito Puente loved banging pots and pans as a child, but what he really dreamed of was having his own band one day. From Spanish Harlem to the Grammy Awards—and all the beats in between—this is the true life story of a boy whose passion for music turned him into the “King of Mambo.”

¡Si, Se Puede! / Yes, We Can!: Janitor Strike in L.A. by Diana Cohn

¡Sí, Se Puede! / Yes, We Can! is a bilingual fictional story set against the backdrop of the successful janitors’ strike in Los Angeles in 2000. It tells about Carlitos, whose mother is a janitor. Every night, he sleeps while his mother cleans in one of the skyscrapers in downtown L.A. When she comes home, she waves Carlitos off to school before she goes to sleep. One night, his mamá explains that she can’t make enough money to support him and his abuelita the way they need unless she makes more money as a janitor. She and the other janitors have decided to go on strike.

How will Carlitos support his mother? Carlitos wants to help but he cannot think of a way until his teacher, Miss Lopez, explains in class how her own grandfather had fought for better wages for farmworkers when he first came to the United States. He and the other children in his class join the marchers with a very special sign for his mom!

Two White Rabbits by Jairo Buitrago

In this moving and timely story, a young child describes what it is like to be a migrant as she and her father travel north toward the U.S. border.

They travel mostly on the roof of a train known as The Beast, but the little girl doesn’t know where they are going. She counts the animals by the road, the clouds in the sky, the stars. Sometimes she sees soldiers. She sleeps, dreaming that she is always on the move, although sometimes they are forced to stop and her father has to earn more money before they can continue their journey.

As many thousands of people, especially children, in Mexico and Central America continue to make the arduous journey to the U.S. border in search of a better life, this is an important book that shows a young migrant’s perspective.

The Streets are Free by Kurusa

This inspiring book is based on the true story of the children of the barrio of San Jose de la Urbina in Caracas, Venezuela. There are no parks where they live, and the children must play in the streets. They ask the mayor for an empty lot to build a playground, but all they get are campaign promises. They know that they are the only ones who will make something happen, so they get their friends and family involved until the whole barrio unites to create a space of their own.

A Chair for My Mother by Vera B. Williams

After their home is destroyed by a fire, Rosa, her mother, and grandmother save their coins to buy a really comfortable chair for all to enjoy.

Where Are You From? by Yamile Saied Méndez

This resonant picture book tells the story of one girl who constantly gets asked a simple question that doesn’t have a simple answer. A great conversation starter in the home or classroom—a book to share, in the spirit of I Am Enough by Grace Byers and Keturah A. Bobo.

When a girl is asked where she’s from—where she’s really from—none of her answers seems to be the right one.

Unsure about how to reply, she turns to her loving abuelo for help. He doesn’t give her the response she expects. She gets an even better one.

Where am I from?

You’re from hurricanes and dark storms, and a tiny singing frog that calls the island people home when the sun goes to sleep….

With themes of self-acceptance, identity, and home, this powerful, lyrical picture book will resonate with readers young and old, from all backgrounds and of all colors—especially anyone who ever felt that they don’t belong.

Books about Sonia Sotomayor for every reading level:

Who Is Sonia Sotomayor? by Megan Stine

When I Grow Up: Sonia Sotomayor by Annmarie Anderson

I am Sonia Sotomayor by Brad Meltzer

Sonia Sotomayor: A Judge Grows in the Bronx / La juez que crecio en el Bronx by Jonah Winter

The Beloved World of Sonia Sotomayor

Turning Pages: My Life Story by Sonia Sotomayor

Women Who Broke the Rules: Sonia Sotomayor by Kathleen Krull

Celebration Ideas

  • Read a new book. Get some that are in Spanish and in English.
  • Learn some history about Central and South American and Latinx Americans.
  • Learn about different countries, ethnic groups, origins.
  • Go to a new restaurant or try a new recipe. There’s so much more out there than mediocre strip mall Tex-Mex dives.
  • Visit an art or cultural exhibit.
  • Listen to music.
  • Dance!
  • Donate to a charity benefiting an Hispanic or immigration cause.
  • Movie night.
  • Learn some Spanish.
  • Discuss discrimination and injustice.
  • Discuss immigration.
  • Activities from Scholastic.

How do you celebrate different cultures in your home, classroom, or homeschool?

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Filed Under: Homeschool Tagged With: book list, unit study

Chicago with Kids

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October 14, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert 26 Comments

We spent a long weekend in Chicago in April 2018. It’s one of my favorite cities.

The kids have never been to Chicago. Aaron grew up about an hour south of there and Liz and I have been twice. We took Liz to the Museum of Science and Industry and saw Navy Pier years ago. Somehow, we never seem to be able to fit in the Field Museum on our trips!

The Weber Grill is super fun, but we didn’t manage it this trip. We’ve eaten at the original Giordano’s. There are so many great restaurants!

We found an apartment in a townhouse (with a hot tub!) near Guaranteed Rate Field. It is no longer available as a rental but that’s a nice area if you don’t want to drive downtown. We got to park inside the garage so that was nice.

We were close to the train station, just a few blocks walk. There was a huge Mariano’s store, a Kroger affiliate just down the street and plenty of nearby restaurants.

We ate breakfast in our townhouse, then set off to explore each day.

We wound down in our hot tub each evening.

Day 1: Chinatown

We did drive a couple train stations away to Chinatown and parked near the Nine Dragons Gate.

We walked around and bought some special tea to take home and looked in the shop windows.

Fun zodiac animals in a central square

We had the most amazing Mandarin Chinese food I’ve ever eaten at Potsticker House.

Day 2: Cubs Game

We took the train to Wrigley Field.

We got there early to get some cool Cubs gear.

The kids got certificates for their first Cubs game!

The kids watched the warm-up. It was nice in the sun.

It was free blanket day and I am sure glad because it was freezing! I always underestimate the cold wind.

CUBS WIN!

We ate local Chicago pizza for dinner near our apartment at Ricobene’s. It was great and easy for families. They had delicious arancini! 

Day 3: Art Institute

We took the train downtown and viewed the street art down to the Art Institute.

I love, love, love the street art in Chicago.

This vermilion steel 50-ton, 53-feet tall flamingo by Alexander Calder:

The Four Seasons mosaic by Marc Chagall is 70 feet long, 14 feet high, 10 feet wide.

The Picasso is 50 feet tall and weighs 162 short tons.

We Will by Richard Hunt is a welded stainless steel sculpture – 35’H x 8’W x 8’D

Bronze Cow Statue – 57 inches high, 92 inches long.

Depicted as reflections in the eyes of the cow are two famous Chicago landmarks, the “Chicago Picasso” sculpture and the Historic Water Tower.

The plaque reads ….
In 1999 a herd of fiberglass cows united citizens, visitors, artists and businesses through a unique community-based public art event. This bronze cow is a gift to all Chicagoans in gratitude for the support of the cows and other art in public places.
A gift to the city of Chicago from the Hanig family and anonymous donors.
November 2001.
Bronze Cow cast at Wagner Foundry, Inc., Chicago, IL. 

The Cloud Gate sculpture is nicknamed The Bean because of its shape. Made up of 168 stainless steel plates welded together, its highly polished exterior has no visible seams. It measures 33 by 66 by 42 feet and weighs 110 short tons.

At the Art Institute, the North Lion is “On the Prowl” by Edward Kemeys. The South Lion is “stands in an attitude of defiance.”

We ate a lovely lunch at Terzo Piano. I think it’s only for private events now.

The Art Institute is open daily 10:30–5:00 and Thursdays until 8:00. Adults $25. Illinois residents on Thursdays, military members, Chicago children under 18, all children under 13 are FREE.

We saw so many favorites we have studied in our homeschool!

Then we walked to look at some other fun sites.

Lucent is a shining 13-foot sculpture created by English artist Wolfgang Buttress, with the help of astrophysicist, Dr. Daniel Bayliss, made of 3,115 lights, the number of visible stars in the Northern Hemisphere. It is amplified even more against a mirrored ceiling above and a reflecting pool below.  It hangs in the lobby of the John Hancock Building.  

We trekked down to the American Girl store at Water Tower Place.

We had dinner at Harry Caray’s 7th Inning Stretch. It’s super fun and has a little museum inside.

Day 4: Shedd Aquarium

We saw more lovely street art on the way to the Shedd Aquarium.

Reproduced from the original historic Metro entrances of Paris, designed by Hector Guimard:

Bird Boy Mural

Agora is designed by Polish artist Magdalena Abakanowicz, on the southwest side of Grant Park, and is made up of 106 9-foot headless and armless torsos fabricated from cast iron.

Shedd Aquarium was the first inland aquarium with permanent saltwater exhibits as well as freshwater habitats.  It opened on May 30, 1930.

Regular hours
Weekdays: 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.
Weekends: 9 a.m. to 6 p.m.

Extended summer hours (June 15-Aug. 18, 2019)
All days: 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. with the exception of July 27

General admission: Adult $39.95*, child (3-11) $29.95*
Chicago residents: Adult $19.95*, child (3-11) $14.95*

Active-duty U.S. military personnel receive FREE general admission with proper ID.

Blue Star Families Program
Memorial Day through Labor Day, active-duty U.S. military and up to five family members receive free general admission to Shedd. Proper ID is required.

We love aquariums and try to visit them in every city we travel. Shedd is exceptional.

We loved the Belugas, Aquatic Presentation, and all 8 around the world exhibits. We’re so pleased with how much conservation they support.

Shedd is a full day of fun!

We had dinner at Santorini. It is now permanently closed and I am so sad.

We stopped by one last monument before heading home the next morning, the old stockyard gate:

There’s never enough time to see everything, but I think we used our time well and saw so much!

What’s your favorite site in Chicago?

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Filed Under: USA Tagged With: art, Chicago, familytravel, travel

Maintaining Attachment During Deployment

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Please see my suggested resources.

October 7, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert 10 Comments

Military life is often very stressful for kids.

Deployments are especially hard on families.

When a parent is absent, kids often feel lost and will find an alternative attachment to replace the missing parent. This makes reintegration that much more difficult.

John Bowlby believed that there are four distinguishing characteristics of attachment:

  1. Proximity Maintenance – The desire to be near the people we are attached to.
  2. Safe Haven – Returning to the attachment figure for comfort and safety in the face of a fear or threat.
  3. Secure Base – The attachment figure acts as a base of security from which the child can explore the surrounding environment.
  4. Separation Distress – Anxiety that occurs in the absence of the attachment figure.

It’s the parent’s responsibility to maintain attachment to the child.

It often falls to the spouse at home to accomodate or encourage attachment opportunities with the deployed member, but that doesn’t maintain the strong attachment as well as when the absent parent makes the effort. Of course, this might take lots of advance planning if the deployment occurs in a place where communication is very limited or the locale and situation is very dangerous or top secret.

It’s very painful to return home from a lonely and dangerous deployment to children who act like they don’t remember, don’t care, or would rather he’d stayed away.

It’s difficult to make amends with or collect children who become peer-attached or other-attached during the parent’s absence.

A deployed service member wants a warm homecoming to the much-missed spouse, and that requires maintaining attachment throughout the absence. It’s no different, and perhaps more important, to maintain a strong attachment with children.

It’s different at every stage. Babies and toddlers feel uncomfortable. Young kids are often confused and scared. Tweens and teens feel diffident and abandoned.

Farewell and welcome ceremonies are important to set the stage for a difficult time for the whole family.

Explaining expectations to kids is important.

We accompany dad to the airplane gate to say goodbye and wave the plane away.

We try to plan something fun and distracting the afternoon Dad leaves.

We meet him again at the airplane gate to welcome him home. This is even more special now than before 9/11 when everyone could meet loved ones at gates.

We try to give Dad space when he returns home since he’s really tired and stressed from several days of travel.

Maintaining Attachment with Kids

Most children are very susceptible to sensory stimulation that reminds them of the absent parent. Even during very short separations, the familiarity of touch, voice, smell, and sight helps kids overcome their discomfort of absence.

Some useful techniques for parents to help their children bridge unavoidable separation include giving the child pictures or pillows of themselves, special jewelry or lockets to wear, notes to read or have read to them, scheduling phone, text, or video calls at appointed times, recordings of their voice on books, or with special songs or messages, something with their smell on it for the child to hold on to when apart – like a stuffed toy or blanket or Tshirt, gifts to be opened or delivered at special times.

I frequently showed my son a photo book when he was a baby during our first deployment. The kids often looked through photos of our lovely memories traveling and holidays and other events.

Another way of keeping connected is by giving a child a sense of where a parent is when not with her. When a parent is away on a trip, set something up so she can follow the travels on a map. Physical absence is much easier to endure when one is able to locate the other in time and space.

For the first deployment, I set up a wall clock with “Daddy time” to show what time it was in Afghanistan. We set up the clock app on their iPads with “Doha time” so the kids knew what time it was during the second deployment.

We may need to enlist the help of others to keep the deployed member present in the child’s mind when absent. Ask friends, relatives, or other caregiving adults to talk to the child about the deployed member in a friendly way, to help him imagine what the parent might be up to at certain times, to show him pictures that will evoke for him pleasant memories. Share special meals and special occasions with extended family and friends and speak warmly of the absent parent.

We tried to schedule special dinners and celebrations during videochat so it was like we all together.

sources: Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers by Gabor Maté, MD, and Gordon Neufeld

The continuum concept is an idea coined by Jean Liedloff in her 1975 book The Continuum Concept, that human beings have an innate set of expectations that our evolution as a species has designed us to meet in order to achieve optimal physical, mental, and emotional development and adaptability.

It’s important to maintain this continuum for and with the child until he or she expresses the healthy need for independence. Deployments and other traumatizing events disrupt this natural gradation of individuation.

I emailed and texted frequently with photos, milestones, and special events of the kids so Dad could talk to them about these things on chat and video call.

I created photo book gifts of everything Dad missed on his deployments so he can share the memories too.

All this helps bridge the gaps in attachment so everyone maintains a feeling of closeness even though he’s far away in proximity.

How do you maintain attachment with a parent who’s far away?

Resources:

  • This Is Where You Belong: Finding Home Wherever You Are by Melody Warnick 
  • Almost There: Searching for Home in a Life on the Move by Bekah DiFelice
  • God Strong: The Military Wife’s Spiritual Survival Guide by Sara Horn
  • Tour of Duty: Preparing Our Hearts for Deployment: A Bible Study for Military Wives by Sara Horn
  • Chicken Soup for the Military Wife’s Soul: 101 Stories to Touch the Heart and Rekindle the Spirit by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, and Charles Preston
  • Faith Deployed…Again: More Daily Encouragement for Military Wives by Jocelyn Green
  • Faith Deployed: Daily Encouragement for Military Wives by Jocelyn Green
  • Faith, Hope, Love, & Deployment: 40 Devotions for Military Couples by Heather Gray

You might also like:

  • Celebrating the Holidays During Deployment
  • Reintegration
  • How Deployment Affects Kids
  • When a Parent Travels
  • Military Children and Toxic Stress
You might also like:

Filed Under: Military Tagged With: deployment, military, milkid

Celebrating St. Francis

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Please see my suggested resources.

October 1, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert 6 Comments

Saint Francis of Assisi, born Giovanni di Pietro di Bernardone, informally named as Francesco, was an Italian Catholic friar, deacon, and preacher.

He founded the men’s Order of Friars Minor, the women’s Order of Saint Clare, the Third Order of Saint Francis, and the Custody of the Holy Land.

St. Francis died at Portiuncula, Italy on October 4, 1226.

Pope Gregory IX pronounced St. Francis a saint on July 16, 1228. The pope also laid the foundation stone for the Basilica of St Francis in Assisi, Italy. The church, also known as Basilica of San Francesco d’Assisi, is a UNESCO world heritage site.

Along with Saint Catherine of Siena, Francis was designated Patron saint of Italy.

Francis fell in love with the humanity and the humility of Jesus; while most of Western and even Eastern Christianity focused on proving the divinity of Jesus.

It’s not easy to put into a capsule the spirit and gifts of Franciscan thinking. Its hallmarks are simplicity, reverence, fraternity, ecumenism, ecology, interdependence, and dialogue. Its motto and salutation is “Peace and All Good!”

Francis believed that God was nonviolent, the God of Peace. This belief may be a simple presupposition for us today, but at the time when the Christian church was waging a Holy Crusade against its enemies, the Saracens, Francis’s interpretation of the gospel life and its demands was revolutionary. Francis saw it from the viewpoint of the poor, especially from the place of the poor, naked, suffering Christ. He had deep devotion to the God who is revealed as nonviolent and poor in the stable of Bethlehem, as abandoned on the cross, and as food in the Eucharist. God’s meekness, humility, and poverty led Francis to become “perfected as his Heavenly Father was perfect.” Francis identified with the “minores,” the lower class within his society…And he passionately pointed to the Incarnation as the living proof of God’s love. He frequently cried out in his pain that “Love is not loved!”

Incarnation is absolutely foundational to the Franciscan worldview. It is said that Francis created the first live Nativity scene. Franciscans emphasize Incarnation perhaps even more than redemption. In other words, Christmas is more important than Easter. Francis said that for God to be born a human being, born in a stable among the poor, shows that we already have redemption. Christmas is already Easter because if God became a human being, then it’s good to be a human being! The problem is already solved. That Jesus was born into a poor family shows God’s love for the poor.

Source: Adapted from John Quigley, “Brothers,” Richard Rohr: Illuminations of His Life and Work, eds. Andreas Ebert and Patricia C. Brockman (The Crossroad Publishing Company: 1993), 5-6.

At Greccio near Assisi, around 1220, Francis celebrated Christmas by setting up the first known presepio or crèche. His nativity imagery reflected the scene in traditional paintings. He used real animals to create a living scene so that the worshipers could contemplate the birth of the child Jesus in a direct way, making use of the senses, especially sight. Both Thomas of Celano and Saint Bonaventure, biographers of Saint Francis, tell how he used only a straw-filled manger set between a real ox and donkey. According to Thomas, it was beautiful in its simplicity, with the manger acting as the altar for the Christmas Mass.

On November 29, 1979, Pope John Paul II declared Saint Francis the Patron Saint of Ecology. During the World Environment Day 1982, John Paul II said that Saint Francis’ love and care for creation was a challenge and a reminder “not to behave like dissident predators where nature is concerned, but to assume responsibility for it, taking all care so that everything stays healthy and integrated, so as to offer a welcoming and friendly environment even to those who succeed us.” He wrote on the World Day of Peace, January 1, 1990, that the saint of Assisi “offers Christians an example of genuine and deep respect for the integrity of creation…As a friend of the poor who was loved by God’s creatures, Saint Francis invited all of creation – animals, plants, natural forces, even Brother Sun and Sister Moon – to give honor and praise to the Lord. The poor man of Assisi gives us striking witness that when we are at peace with God we are better able to devote ourselves to building up that peace with all creation which is inseparable from peace among all peoples.”

On 13 March 2013, upon his election as Pope, Archbishop and Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio of Argentina chose Francis as his papal name in honor of Saint Francis of Assisi, becoming Pope Francis.

At his first audience on March 16, 2013, Pope Francis told journalists that he had chosen the name in honor of Saint Francis of Assisi, and had done so because he was especially concerned for the well-being of the poor. He explained that, as it was becoming clear during the conclave voting that he would be elected the new bishop of Rome, the Brazilian Cardinal Cláudio Hummes had embraced him and whispered, “Don’t forget the poor,” which had made Bergoglio think of the saint. Bergoglio had previously expressed his admiration for St. Francis, explaining that “He brought to Christianity an idea of poverty against the luxury, pride, vanity of the civil and ecclesiastical powers of the time. He changed history.” Bergoglio’s selection of his papal name is the first time that a pope has been named Francis.

Quotes

Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.

For it is in giving that we receive.

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love. Where there is injury, pardon. Where there is doubt, faith.

All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.

Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words.

Lord, make me an Instrument of Thy Peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love. Where there is injury, pardon…

If God can work through me, he can work through anyone.

If you have men who will exclude any of God’s creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men who will deal likewise with their fellow men.

While you are proclaiming peace with your lips, be careful to have it even more fully in your heart.

Sermon to the Birds:

My little sisters the birds, ye owe much to God, your Creator, and ye ought to sing his praise at all times and in all places, because he has given you liberty to fly about into all places; and though ye neither spin nor sew, he has given you a twofold and a threefold clothing for yourselves and for your offspring. Two of all your species he sent into the Ark with Noah that you might not be lost to the world; besides which, he feeds you, though ye neither sow nor reap. He has given you fountains and rivers to quench your thirst, mountains and valleys in which to take refuge, and trees in which to build your nests; so that your Creator loves you much, having thus favoured you with such bounties. Beware, my little sisters, of the sin of ingratitude, and study always to give praise to God.

Symbols associated with St. Francis of Assisi:

  • A bag of gold and rich raiment at St. Francis’ feet.
  • A winged crucifix with five rays.
  • Stigmata.
  • A crown of thorns.
  • A lighted lamp.
  • A fiery chariot.
  • Animals such as birds, deer, and a wolf.

Things to Do:

  • Pray the Canticle of the Sun, which was written by St. Francis.
  • Many churches and parishes have a Blessing of animals or pets on or around this day.
  • St. Francis was influential on our present-day Christmas crib or creche. Make or buy a special nativity set to play with or display.
  • Although St. Francis is one of the most popular saints of the Church, and his feast is a huge celebration in Assisi, there are no particular foods attached to his festival. Tradition has passed on that on his deathbed he requested Frangipane cream or Mostaccioli (almond biscotti). Fire is a symbol of St. Francis, first of all because his heart was on fire with love of God, but there are other stories that deal with fire, particularly when he prayed, the surrounding areas would become so bright that people thought the areas were on fire. So a flaming dessert or wine would be an appropriate ending of a wonderful feast. One could also try some Umbrian style recipes, or just have “Italian night” at home, even simple pasta and sauces.
  • What does poverty in our state of life mean? How can I follow the Gospels like Francis?
  • Study art and photos of Francis. Find out more about the Basilica of St. Francis in Assisi. Although an earthquake in 1997 damaged the basilica, it reopened in 1999.
  • Read about St. Clare and her relationship with St. Francis.
  • Read about the Tau Cross.

Resources

  • St. Francis and The Wolf by L. M. Zecca 
  • St. Francis and the Animals: A Mother Bird’s Story by Phil Gallery 
  • The Good Man of Assisi by Mary Joslin 
  • The Prayer of St. Francis
  • Brother Sun, Sister Moon by Katherine Paterson
  • Saint Francis of Assisi by Demi 
  • Francis: The Poor Man of Assisi by Tomie DePaola
  • The Canticle of the Creatures for Saint Francis of Assisi by Luigi Santucci
  • The Catholic Toolbox
  • Sweet Little Ones
  • The Kennedy Adventures
  • Real Life at Home
  • Catholic Icing
  • Catholic Inspired
  • St. Francis Prayer
  • Catholic Playground
  • Ducksters
  • A Slice of Smith Life
  • Teaching Catholic Kids
  • Lovely Waldorf read alouds
  • Virtual Pilgrimage Tour
  • A Love Letter to St. Francis of Assisi from St. Clare

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace
Where there is hatred, let me sow love
Where there is injury, pardon
Where there is doubt, faith
Where there is despair, hope
Where there is darkness, light
And where there is sadness, joyO Divine Master, grant that I may
Not so much seek to be consoled as to console
To be understood, as to understand
To be loved, as to love
For it is in giving that we receive
And it’s in pardoning that we are pardoned
And it’s in dying that we are born to Eternal Life
Amen.

~Prayer of St. Francis by Sarah McLachlan

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Filed Under: Faith Tagged With: faith, fall, saint

Emotional Health

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Please see my suggested resources.

September 30, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert 9 Comments

I didn’t grow up with healthy emotions as a kid, and now as an adult, I’m having to relearn how to be healthy even if I’m not happy.

I grew up being told to smile and be pleasant all the time. There was no room, no patience for “negative emotions.”

There’s a big difference between accepting disappointment, anger, sorrow and having the freedom to express those feelings and lashing out in socially inappropriate ways.

Children need to feel safe with parents to express their entire spectrum of emotions.

The problem is that we as well-meaning parents and caregivers often attempt to intercept children on their journey through an emotional tunnel.

Emotions are just communication.

Tears are proof that emotions can be physical. Imagine what stuck emotions can do to your body when they have spent years without being released.

As parents, if we don’t have our emotions under control, how can we coach our kids to express themselves in healthy ways?

I’m convinced that when we help our children find healthy ways of dealing with their feelings-ways that don’t hurt them or anyone else-we’re helping to make our world a safer, better place.

Mr. Rogers

The emotionally intelligent person knows that love is a skill, not a feeling, and will require trust, vulnerability, generosity, humor, sexual understanding, and selective resignation. The emotionally intelligent person awards themselves the time to determine what gives their working life meaning and has the confidence and tenacity to try to find an accommodation between their inner priorities and the demands of the world. The emotionally intelligent person knows how to hope and be grateful, while remaining steadfast before the essentially tragic structure of existence. The emotionally intelligent person knows that they will only ever be mentally healthy in a few areas and at certain moments, but is committed to fathoming their inadequacies and warning others of them in good time, with apology and charm… There are few catastrophes, in our own lives or in those of nations, that do not ultimately have their origins in emotional ignorance.

Alain de Botton

5 Steps to Emotion Coaching 

  1. Be aware of your child’s emotions.
  2. Recognize and use emotional moments as opportunities to connect and teach.
  3. Help your child identify and verbally name emotions.
  4. Respect your child’s feelings by taking time to listen carefully. Communicate empathy and understanding.
  5. Explore solutions to problems together. Set reasonable limits.

Emotions can be inconvenient. It’s super important that we don’t project onto our kids that they are inconvenient. We need to take the time to work through the tough times. This is especially hard when we’re working through it ourselves.

What to say when we have big feelings:

  • It’s ok to let it out.
  • I’m here. I’m listening. I’m not leaving.
  • You can feel this, but you can’t act out this way.
  • Feelings don’t last forever. Sometimes, it feels like it!
  • Let’s take a breather.
  • You are good and kind. Everyone makes mistakes.
  • I’ll be right here waiting when you need me.
  • Let’s try that again.
  • What did we learn?
  • We can do better next time.

Obviously, we don’t use all these phrases every time. Use discretion and learn along with your child. We often work through frustrations and anger with our kids in these ways. We want to heal relationships. Reconciliation is the goal. Sometimes, there are no easy answers. Being human is complicated.

Holding space while allowing your child to release their emotions might sound like:
– I get it, it’s ok, let it out
– Yes I know, it’s so hard, show me how hard it is
– It looks like letting the tears flow while staying connected and present
– It looks like holding off on the breathing for a little bit and waiting before you come in with any calming techniques

Stress and anxiety determine resilience and vulnerability.

All of us deal with stress daily, but how we react is important.

We have used art, music, exercise, meditation, book and movie discussions, and Angry Birds printables to help us learn about and navigate difficult feelings.

For behavior, we need not worry that we condone or accept certain acts. We need to realize that we can accept and support emotions. Behaviors are often communication that we need to address.

I don’t have to like an emotion to allow it. I need to work through my triggers and discomforts to support my child.

It’s really a lot to be living and homeschooling every day in a house we share with 6 individuals.

We can all heal together.

Your true self is underneath all the emotions you don’t want to feel.

It’s important we learn how and teach our kids how to properly apologize.

I am breaking the cycle of silence and stifling emotions. Sometimes, it’s messy and really hard. Feelings sometimes suck. It’s important that my kids feel they’re safe to express the entire spectrum of emotions at home, around me, around each other.

Let feelings be.

I have to deal with my own issues in order to coach them well on theirs. I often fail, but I admit it and make amends. I start over, and over, and over.

We’re all learning how to be people.

My husband and I like this emotional needs questionnaire and discussed the relevant parts with our children so we can all better love and respect each other.

When the world feels like an emotional roller coaster, steady yourself with simple rituals. Do the dishes. Fold the laundry. Water the plants. Simplicity attracts wisdom.

Children need to feel free to express and trust their emotions and how to honor the emotional responses of others. These skills build a foundation for consent.

I think this Dealing with Feelings series of books is excellent to help kids identify and deal with hard emotions.

We cannot selectively numb emotions, when we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.

Brené Brown

How introverts deal with stress and anxiety is different than how extroverts handle emotions. Often, it gets lost in translation.

Highly sensitive individuals are affected by their own and others’ emotions differently than many people.

Listen To Your Emotions…

Bitterness shows you where you need to heal, where you’re still holding judgments on others and yourself.

Resentment shows you where you’re living in the past and not allowing the present to be as it is.

Discomfort shows you that you need to pay attention right now to what is happening because you’re being given the opportunity to change, to do something different than you typically do it.

Anger shows you what you’re passionate about, where your boundaries are, and what you believe needs to change about the world.

Disappointment shows you that you tried for something, that you did not give in to apathy, that you still care.

Guilt shows you that you’re still living life in other people’s expectations of what you should do.

Shame shows you that you’re internalizing other people’s beliefs about who you should be (or who you are) and that you need to reconnect with yourself.

Anxiety shows you that you need to wake up, right now, and that you need to be present, that you’re stuck in the past and living in fear of the future.

Sadness shows you the depth of your feeling, the depth of your care for others and this world.

My goal:

“Are you happy?” “In all honesty? No. But I am curious – I am curious in my sadness, and I am curious in my joy. I am everseeking, everfeeling. I am in awe of the beautiful moments life gives us, and I am in awe of the difficult ones. I am transfixed by grief, by growth. It is all so stunning, so rich, and I will never convince myself that I cannot be somber, cannot be hurt, cannot be overjoyed. I want to feel it all – I don’t want to cover it up or numb it. So no, I am not happy. I am open, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

― Bianca Sparacino, Seeds Planted in Concrete

For grief, trauma, and other really strong negative emotions…

The only way out is through.

We have to embrace it all for true healing.

Helpful: Hamilton Anxiety Rating Scale for ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences)

Of course, neurotypical children should be actively working on healthy emotions with their trusted and attached caregivers. For mental health issues, learning disabilities, autism and more, it’s much more complicated.

How do you deal with big emotions?

Resources:

  • Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships by Marshall B. Rosenberg
  • The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk
  • Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman
  • Mothers Who Can’t Love: A Healing Guide for Daughters by Susan Forward
  • Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration by Karen C.L. Anderson
  • I Hate You – Don’t Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality by Jerold J. Kreisman
  • Recovering from Narcissistic Mothers: A Daughter’s Guide by Brenda Stephens
  • Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers by Karyl McBride
  • Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself by Shahida Araby
  • Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents: Practical Tools to Establish Boundaries and Reclaim Your Emotional Autonomy by Lindsay C. Gibson
  • Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson
  • When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chodron
  • The Empath’s Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People by Judith Orloff
  • The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You by Elaine N. Aron
  • The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When The World Overwhelms Them by Elaine N. Aron
  • The Dance of Anger: A Woman’s Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships by Harriet Lerner
  • The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You’re Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate by Harriet Lerner
  • The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind by Daniel J. Siegel
  • Jesus, the Gentle Parent: Gentle Christian Parenting by L.R. Knost
  • Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting by Laura Markham
  • Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings: How to Stop the Fighting and Raise Friends for Life by Laura Markham
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Filed Under: Health Tagged With: mental health, parenting, relationships

Celebrating Michaelmas

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Please see my suggested resources.

September 23, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert 5 Comments

It’s officially autumn or fall in the northern hemisphere.

Even if it is 90° outside.

by the way, it’s pronounced “Micklemess.” you’re welcome.

Autumn Equinox Traditions

Some traditional rituals for the Celtic festival Mabon include building an altar to offer harvest fruits and vegetables, meditating on balance, gathering and feasting on apples, sharing food, and expressing gratitude. The holiday is named after the Welsh God, Mabon, son of Earth Mother goddess Modron.

Many people gather at Stonehenge to watch the equinox sunrise.

Rosh Hashanah is the Jewish fall festival for the New Year.

Japan marks both equinoxes with a period called Ohigan. The Buddhist belief is the afterlife land is in the west, and during the equinoxes, the sun sets more directly on the western horizon. The equinoxes are also symbolic of the transitions of life. The week around each equinox a time to visit the graves of one’s ancestors, to tidy up the grave sites, and leave flowers. It is also a time of meditation and visiting living relatives.

Many Asians celebrate the Moon Festival on the full moon nearest to the equinox. On a lunar calendar, that is the 15th day of the eighth lunar month. It is celebrated with festival activities, gazing at the moon, and eating moon cakes. In the southern U.S., Moon Pies are often used in place of moon cakes.

Celebrating Michaelmas

Michaelmas is the Catholic feast of the Archangel Michael. Some traditions use this feast day to celebrate other archangels: Michael, Gabriel, Uriel, and Raphael as the Feast of the Angels. The feast day is September 29, which is celebrated as the beginning of fall in many locales. The feast day was probably set near the autumn equinox to draw the faithful away from pagan celebrations, as with most other Christian holidays. Traditions include gathering and eating nuts (which begins on Holy Rood Day on September 14), and eating a fattened goose, which was supposed to protect against financial need for the next year.

“Eat a goose on Michaelmas Day,
Want not for money all the year”.

It is a time of transitions, as servants were paid their wages after the harvest and workers scrambled to find new employment contracts. The employment fairs that facilitated this custom became an opportunity for community celebration. It’s one of the quarter days, when accounts had to be settled.

In Ireland, finding a ring hidden in a Michaelmas pie meant that one would soon be married. 

In remembrance of absent friends or those who had died, special Struans, blessed at an early morning Mass, were given to the poor in their names. Nuts were traditionally cracked on Michaelmas Eve.

In Scotland, St. Michael’s Bannock, or Struan Micheil (a large scone-like cake) is created from grain grown on the family’s land during the year, representing the fruits of the fields. It is cooked on a lambskin, representing the fruit of the flocks. The grain is also moistened with sheep’s milk, as sheep are deemed the most sacred of animals. As the Struan is created by the eldest daughter of the family, the following is said:

“Progeny and prosperity of family, Mystery of Michael, Protection of the Trinity”

It is also a good time to eat blackberries, as “Old Michaelmas Day” on October 10, is traditionally the cutoff time for picking blackberries. It is said that on this day, when Lucifer was expelled from Heaven, he fell from the skies, straight onto a blackberry bush. He then cursed the fruit, scorched them with his fiery breath, spat, and stamped on them and made them unfit for consumption! And so the Irish proverb goes:

“On Michaelmas Day the devil puts his foot on blackberries.”

The Michaelmas Daisy, which flowers late in the growing season between late August and early October, provides color and warmth to gardens at a time when the majority of flowers are coming to an end. The daisy is probably symbolic since St. Michael is celebrated as a protector from darkness and evil, just as the daisy fights against the advancing gloom of Autumn and Winter.

“The Michaelmas Daisies, among dede weeds,
Bloom for St Michael’s valorous deeds.
And seems the last of flowers that stood,
Till the feast of St. Simon and St. Jude.”

Resources for Families

Michaelmas is celebrated in the Waldorf schools, which celebrate it as the “festival of strong will” during the autumnal equinox. The primary idea behind the festival of Michaelmas is to get children to face their own challenges – in other words, their internal and external dragons. Michaelmas is typically the first festival of the new school year celebrated.

Courage

St. George is the Earthly counterpart to St. Michael. Read about dragons. Read stories about St. George. Do something that requires bravery. Make a cape. Make courage tea from edible flowers or salve from calendula. This is a time for spiritual growth as a family.

Decorate with daisies.

Make chains or fill a vase with wild ones. Bunches of daisies are super cheap in the markets now.

Study the moon.

The moon is really beautiful and meaningful on clear crisp nights. We like to look at it rise on our evening walks and sometimes it’s still up during the day! We often get the binoculars to study the craters and terminator at night.

Thank a police officer.

Saint Michael is the patron saint of police officers. Stop by your local police station with a yummy treat to thank them for their service. Tell them that it’s their feast day so you brought some food for feasting and let them know that you are praying for them in an extra special way on Michaelmas. Many churches pray a blue mass.

Pick and eat and cook with blackberries.

We often like to find wild berry patches or a pick your own farm. We’ve mad jam before or pies. It’s a fun tradition with kids!

Feasting

Roast a goose, chicken, duck, or turkey. Or even get a rotisserie from Costco or somewhere. Serve traditionally with carrots and apples and stuffing or homemade “dragon” bread. Maybe try to roast a bannock!

The Harvest Loaf Story

The farmers followed what Archangel Michael had told them, they placed the Harvest Loaf on the table and sat with their families and friends and sang in thanks:

Earth who gives to us this food

Sun and stars who made it good

Dearest Earth and

Stars and Sun

We will remember what you have done.

Check out these great recipes!

A Michaelmas Prayer:

A lovely lesson from Kennedy Adventures.

Saint Michael the Archangel,

defend us in battle;

be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.

May God rebuke him, we humbly pray:

and do thou, O Prince of the heavenly host,

by the power of God,

thrust into hell Satan and all the evil spirits

who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls.

Amen.

Resources:

  • Journal: The Michaelmas Daisy Fairy by Cicely Mary Barker
  • Celebrating Autumn Equinox by Waverly Fitzgerald
  • Autumn Equinox: The Enchantment of Mabon by Ellen Dugan
  • Mabon: Rituals, Recipes & Lore for the Autumn Equinox by Diana Rajcehl
  • Michael the Archangel: Protector of God’s People by Barbara Joffie
  • Beyond the Rainbow Bridge: Nurturing Our Children from Birth to Seven by Barbara J. Patterson and Pamela Bradley
  • Saint Michael the Archangel by James F. Day
  • Saint Michael and Me by John Culver II
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Filed Under: Faith Tagged With: faith, fall, saint

Celebrating Rosh Hashanah

This blog may contain affiliate links: disclosure.
Please see my suggested resources.

September 23, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert 10 Comments

Many cultures celebrate a new year around the autumn equinox. I’ve always felt this is a time of new beginnings.

I love the crisp fall leaves and poignant scents of cinnamon and apples, reminding us of sweetness and decay.

We also enjoy the traditions of Lammas Day.

Rosh Hashanah is a two-day celebration that begins on the first day of Tishri, which is the seventh month of the ecclesiastical year

Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, is a time when Jews celebrate the good things they have experienced in the previous year, and also when they reflect on hopes and dreams for the coming year.

But Rosh Hashanah is not only festive; it is also a solemn time, a prelude to Yom Kippur, the Day of Judgment.

Rosh Hashanah inaugurates the Days of Awe, ten days during which Jews reflect on their conduct, make amends for past wrongs, and set themselves to do better in the coming year.

We’re not Jewish. We’re not Messianic. We don’t keep Kosher.

I love to celebrate the feasts since we began years ago during our Year 1 history lessons. It’s important to know church history. I teach my kids religion and learn with them.

Reading the Torah

The portion of the Torah read on the first day of Rosh Hashanah is Genesis 22:1-19, the story of the Akedah, or “The Binding of Isaac.” This is certainly a problematic Bible passage. I like this article “I’ve Had it with the Akeda” and I research on it every year.

In congregations that observe a second day of Rosh HaShanah, the Torah portion is Genesis 1:1-2:3, the story of creation.

The Haftarah, the selection from the prophetic books that accompanies Torah readings on Shabbat and holidays, is from I Samuel, and tells the story of Hannah.

I have my very own siddur.

Casting Away

Tashlich (“to cast away”) is a ceremony generally conducted on the first day of Rosh Hashanah when we symbolically cast our sins into a moving body of water – such as a river, stream, or ocean. This often includes the recitation of verses from Micah and Psalms.

Who is a God like you, pardoning iniquity

    and passing over transgression

    for the remnant of his inheritance?

He does not retain his anger forever,

    because he delights in steadfast love.

He will again have compassion on us;

    he will tread our iniquities underfoot.

You will cast all our sins

    into the depths of the sea.

Micah 7:18-19

Bread has been used to represent our sins, but some choose to cast stones, wood chips, or bird seed instead, to be more environmentally healthy.

Symbols of Rosh Hashanah

The foods eaten are symbolic and their names are poetic puns, representing the prayers.

Shofar

A ram’s horn is blown to announce the new year.

Dates

The prayer before eating a date (tamar in Hebrew) includes the phrase “yitamu hataim”— may the wicked cease.

Apples and Honey

Dipping apples in honey on Rosh Hashanah is tradition to wish for a sweet New Year.

Pumpkin or Squash

Before eating pumpkin or squash (k’ra’a in Hebrew), Sephardic Jews say “yikaru l’fanekha z’khuyoteinu“– may our good deeds call out our merit before you.

Peas or Beans

Mentioned in the Talmud as ruviah, a word that sounds like the Hebrew “to increase,” indicates a desire for increased blessings in the new year.

Leeks or Onions

Associated with the Exodus from Egypt.

Beets

From the Aramaic name silka, similar to the Hebrew salak (go away) is used to express the hope that our enemies disappear.

Fish

Fish heads symbolize our wish to be heads, not tails; leaders, not followers. Originally a sheep’s head (a little hard to get these days) served as a reminder of the ram that saved Isaac’s life.

Crown Challah

Round challah represents the circle of the year and of life.

Pomegranates

The abundance of seeds represents prosperity. Also promises you will do many good deeds in the upcoming year.

Sephardic Jews celebrate a Rosh Hashanah Seder with much symbolism.

Our dinner is like a mini Thanksgiving feast.

Menu Ideas

Start the meal with Fingerlickin’ Challah, amazingly soft on the inside with a nice crunch on the outside and a make-ahead Roasted Carrot Soup with Coriander.

Soymilk is the secret to a parve Creamy Carrot Soup that will bring a rich, healthful, and colorful splash to the holiday table.

Anyone from the American south knows black-eyed peas, but did you know Jewish tradition says that eating them on Rosh Hashanah can increase your good luck in the New Year? Sausage, Black-Eyed Pea and Swiss Chard Soup is a hearty way to ensure good fortune and eat your greens at the same time.

Then dazzle your guests with a gorgeous Salmon Over Pomegranate and Golden Kiwi Arugula Salad as the appetizer. 

For the main course, pair the quintessential Hearty Pot Roast with a Cumin Spiced Brisket With Leeks and Dried Apricots, a decidedly non-traditional take on a holiday favorite.

Apples and Honey Mustard Chicken, from the popular Peas, Love & Carrots cookbook, captures the essence of Rosh Hashanah on a platter. The honey-mustard sauce is a beautiful companion for the chicken, which is baked with apples and finished with a crunchy Panko topping.

Pomegranate Braised Beef, another highlight from Peas, Love & Carrots, puts a sweet-tart spin on a holiday classic. Deglazed with hard apple cider, the meat cooks in a flavorful sauce starring pomegranate syrup to ensure a sweet new year.

Make an exotic salmon recipe with Danielle Renov’s show-stopping Tahini and Tamarind Glazed Salmon with Kadaif Topping, from Peas, Love & Carrots finished with fresh pomegranate seeds. A nest of ultra-thin kadaif noodles (think baklava) tops it all off for a crispy, golden crunch.

Citrus Teriyaki Salmon is a great entrée for non-meat eaters and a wonderful alternative to the classic gefilte fish appetizer. Best of all, it couldn’t be easier to make

Side dishes should be exciting, too. Serve time-honored Tzimmes with Honey alongside Jeweled Butternut Squash featuring pistachios, pomegranate seeds, and chopped dates. Pomegranate also plays a starring role in the fresh and fruity Blood Orange Pomegranate Salad.

Pastrami Leek Galette? Yes, you read that right. Leeks are another traditional symbolic food for Rosh Hashanah. Sautéing pastrami with mushrooms and leeks cooks the veggies down to their caramelized essence. The savory, thyme-scented filling bakes right inside the dough for an elegant presentation.

This Ashkenazic Roasted Tzimmes keeps it traditional, simple, and light. In this updated version, a bit of ginger adds a subtle, warm kick while fresh mint offers an herbaceous finish.

A holiday meal can’t be complete without dessert. But don’t settle for dry, crumbly honey cake when you can make a light and fluffy and delicious Honey Bundt Cake. Or go in a more unexpected direction while still nodding to the tradition to eat dates, and serve Sticky Date Pudding with Butterscotch Sauce. Or lighten things up with Baked Pears with Honey and Cinnamon.

Thanks to a few shortcuts, nobody has to know how easy it is to make these unique and oh-so-decadent desserts. Caramel Apple Halva Babka bakes up on frozen challah dough, while Apple Bourekas with Silan-Sesame Drizzle calls for frozen puff pastry squares and apple pie filling.

We like honey cake!

Pair dessert with Wissotzky Teas’ new and exotic chai offerings: Ginger and Turmeric Spiced Chai, Pumpkin Spiced Chai, Salted Caramel, or Spiced Nana Mint Chai. Mint tea drinkers can savor Wissotzky’s new line of Simply Nana Teas, which unleash a subtle layer of earthiness and invigorating minty flavor in natural green, black, and herbal flavors.

Some years, we have turkey or chicken instead of beef.

We always have challah, a lovely fruity salad, fish, and leeks or onions.

Family Resources

  • Go apple picking.
  • Have a honey tasting.
  • Make new year cards for friends and family.
  • Bake challah together.
  • Go on a nature walk.
  • Throw your care, prayers, worries, resolutions into water.
  • Blow the shofar or party horns.

More Resources:

  • PJ Library
  • AISH
  • Chabad
  • Reform Judaism
  • Ducksters
  • The Maccabeats: This is the New Year
  • Shalom Sesame: Tikkun Olam Song
  • Jewish Learning
  • Kids Connect
  • Interfaith Family
  • Jewish Agency
  • Jewish Boston

Books:

  • Rosh Hashanah: A Family Service
  • Rosh Hashanah Yom Kippur Survival Kit
  • High Holidays & More: An Interactive Guide for Kids
  • Rosh Hashanah Is Coming!
  • Apple Days: A Rosh Hashanah Story 
  • I’m Sorry, Grover: A Rosh Hashanah Tale
  • Rosh Hashanah Activity Book for Kids
  • I Spy Rosh Hashanah Book For Kids
  • King of The Fruits – Children Story For Rosh Hashanah
  • The Big Awesome Rosh Hashanah Coloring and Activity Book For Kids and Adults!
  • How The Rosh Hashanah Challah Became Round

L’Shanah Tovah! (For a good year!)

We also have celebrated Hanukkah and Passover.

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Filed Under: Faith Tagged With: faith, fall, New Year

Home Decor and Design Trends to Try in Your Home

This blog may contain affiliate links: disclosure.
Please see my suggested resources.

September 16, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

Every home needs a facelift every so often to help keep it looking and feeling fresh. If it’s been a while since you’ve freshened up your home with a new look, it may be time to start looking into different home decor and design trends that you may be able to try around your home. 

Go Gray

Gray is a timeless color for a reason. Its muted simplicity is a great way to pull together several different color schemes and can serve as a base color for just about any template. In addition to providing a calming effect, it can also provide a pop of color in just about any room when used correctly. If you’re tired of looking at the same, boring walls, try giving your room a fresh coat of gray paint and watch it transform into a beautiful, tranquil place. 

Be a Natural

Being in nature is a relaxing way to calm your mind and get in touch with your outdoorsy side. However, there are times when you simply can’t get outside as much as you’d like, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the outdoors from the comfort of your own home. Use plants as a natural way to bring a touch of nature indoors. Plants provide more oxygen in your home and can spruce up a space while giving it a calming vibe. Some people are even ditching the plastic tables and chairs in favor of natural woods, which make it feel even more natural and inviting. 

See the Light

Natural lighting is a great way to brighten up your space and make your home look and feel warmer and inviting. If you’ve been using the same, tired heavy drapes in your home for years, consider swapping them out in favor of something that will allow more natural light to filter into your home. If you’re concerned about privacy, you can invest in bottom-up shades, which allow light in your home while still providing you the privacy you and your loved ones need. You can find custom-made blinds by contacting Next Day Blinds professionals. At Next Day Blinds, you’ll find several options to suit just about all your needs and can be customized with several color schemes to fit your home’s decor scheme. 

Mix it Up

If you have an eclectic style and want to be sure your home showcases that style, consider mixing materials around your home. You can have metal furniture in the same room as natural wood and fur to give your room an interesting appeal and truly original vibe. You can even go retro with your choice and hit up local thrift stores to find truly unique pieces that will showcase your style while saving you money on your home’s decor. 

Paper It

Wallpaper is making a comeback as people are looking to breathe new life into their walls aside from traditional paint. If you’re looking to liven up your living space and love funky prints, look into using wallpaper in your home. You can find several prints that you could use for a statement wall to really make a statement and get people talking about your unique style. With so many great styles to choose from, you’re sure to find something that fits your personality.

Giving your home a fresh new look doesn’t have to be stressful or cost an arm and a leg. When you tap into your personal style, take advantage of the latest trends, and know where to look to find deals, you can make your home look and feel great without putting a major dent in your wallet. Give these home design and decor tips a try and watch as your home is transformed into a beautiful, trendy space for you to relax and enjoy your loved ones. 

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Parenting Teens

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Please see my suggested resources.

September 16, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert 20 Comments

Teens often say harsh things to their parents.

I get my feelings hurt, but I have to push that aside and realize that teens are learning how to be people, just as I am still learning how to be people.

Teens are sorting their identity and trying on new personalities and clothing and seeing how words taste in their mouths.

Most of what teens say in the heat of a moment, they don’t really mean in their hearts.

I hate you! You’re controlling! This is abuse!

The teenage years don’t have to break us.

We need to deal with our own triggers and trauma and not project those onto our children. They will push every single button. It’s up to us not to react, but to be proactive, kind, loving, patient, nurturing, understanding.

Teens haven’t developed self-control, achieved maturity, or discovered the ability to critically think about consequences to their words and actions. It’s often not until their mid-20s that children reach full brain development.

As a parent, I must be flexible, and accept the changes and challenges my teens are dealing with, going through. They should feel safe and comfortable with me, so they will often lash out since they can’t release those emotions anywhere else.

Essentially, teens are just big toddlers who eat a lot of chips and ask for the keys to the car.

While I have made many mistakes and did my own share of discovering who I was as a person and parent, I will not apologize for how I raised my kids.

I did my best until I knew better, then I did better.

My mental load as a parent is off the charts high. I consider everything and try to be proactive with our four kids.

I examine our faith ideals, military life, homeschool education, value systems, health, and investments to provide the best start in life that I can for my kids.

It’s a constant battle with our culture, media, peers, teachers, even my spouse at times.

In our society, it’s the norm to push our kids out the door as babies and toddlers in daycare with underpaid and undermanned teachers, then as preschoolers, elementary kids, middle schoolers, high schoolers off to overcrowded school buildings with frazzled teachers as they’re corralled into same age groups.

We wonder why teens don’t respect us or value our opinions.

Teens (and even some kids and tweens) are more attached to their peers than to adults. It’s the blind leading the blind. We can’t parent teens like we parent small kids who literally need us as parents for survival.

Many of us go against our instincts and better judgment and listen to the “experts” who tell us to let our kids be independent, unattached, cry it out.

Parenthood is above all a relationship, not a skill to be acquired. Attachment is not a behavior to be learned but a connection to be sought.

Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers by Gordon Neufeld 

There’s a line drawn between adults and kids. There’s a bitter battle in western society between adults and kids, and especially teens. Our society teaches that parents are adversaries and kids should rebel. Childism is a real thing as they’re constantly told they’re powerless and voiceless but to hurry up and grow up and be compliant and responsible.

A pathological state of youth, heretofore unrecognized by history, was designed by G. Stanley Hall of Johns Hopkins University. He called it adolescence and debuted the condition in a huge two-volume study of that name, published in 1904. Trained in Prussia as behavioral psychologist Wilhelm Wundt’s first assistant, Hall (immensely influential in school circles at the beginning of the 20th century) identified adolescence as a dangerously irrational state of human growth requiring psychological controls inculcated through schooling.

Weapons of Mass Instruction by John Taylor Gatto

Parenting Teens is Tough

Faith

I wasn’t raised in church, so I was a blank slate. I wanted my kids to grow up in church. My husband was Presbyterian, so we tried that in the beginning.

I remember friends doing youth group and hanging out on Sunday and Wednesday nights with their parents and lots of church friends. That sounded so desirable to me.

I wanted my family to have church culture.

Then we moved.

And we moved.

Then we moved again.

I researched and found Independent Baptist, not realizing how fundamentalist it was. We left that after a few years of utter brainwashing.

We tried an inclusive Lutheran church, but when that church got a new LCMS pastor, we left.

When we moved again, we went back to Presbyterian. It was so lukewarm that we left for good.

I’m tired of not fitting in, fighting leadership in pew-warming established cliquey white suburban conservative churches, being transient in new communities.

I don’t value youth groups because it’s not about vertical culture, being taught by mature adults to impressionable youth. It’s more about horizontal culture, peer attachment, and socializing. There is value in that, but kids get more than enough. The church really doesn’t have to mimic society.

Many churches pride themselves of separating families by age groups at the door, and even gender in some places. Babies go to nursery, and kids get corralled to same age classes. Adults are often divided into groups by demographic, interest, or family dynamic. While many think this is great and it’s a sign of the church’s power and affluence to have that much space and the numbers to provide it, but it’s just destroying family values and parent attachment by perpetuating the culture of childism and separation.

My vision of religious culture is different now.

My kids have a faith foundation because we do much reading and working as a family to learn more about love, hope, and church history.

For now, our family has unanimously decided to take a break from church attendance.

Education

We tried homeschooling back in 2005, planning to eventually go back to “normal” but that just never happened.

Homeschooling afforded us so much freedom to travel, explore, learn in new and exciting ways.

Sure, we had some flops with curriculum and co-op, but we learned from it.

As I look back over all the fun experiences we’ve had over the years – in several U.S. states and in Europe, I am amazed.

We were challenged and learned about things we never would have in schools.

If the kids had attended school – public, private, church, DoD, we couldn’t have accomplished so much or been together.

Sometimes, they balk and wish they attended school and fear they’re missing out, but we slog through those difficult feelings.

It’s very difficult to be undermined by “experts” who think fitting into society by attending government school is the only answer to socialization.

The power to parent does not arise from techniques, no matter how well meant, but from the attachment relationship.

Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers by Gordon Neufeld 

I struggle sometimes with providing all the resources for their often fleeting interests and passions. I don’t push hard and sometimes they wish I did and sometimes they wish for me to be even more laidback. It’s never a win-win.

Today, it might be art. Tomorrow it might be guitar. Next week, it’s French. I try to have patience and let them learn and explore.

Military Life

It’s been really hard moving around every few years.

We have few friends, and often only for short periods of time. Family is far away and we don’t even know them anymore.

Incessant transplanting has rendered us anonymous, creating the antithesis to the attachment village.

Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers by Gordon Neufeld 

This is my biggest regret, but I wouldn’t trade it for permanence in a mediocre place.

We’ve had so many wonderful opportunities we could never have afforded without the military sending us to live in Hawaii and Europe. Even Texas, Utah, and Ohio gave us interesting options. And I accept the bad with the good.

I know as kids get older, they look at other lifestyles and wonder and even sometimes wish for what they could have had. Comparison is hard.

But this life has offered them resilience and many other life skills.

We’re getting tired though.

Parenting

I knew I wanted to raise my kids differently than I was raised.

The fundamentalist evangelical Christian church encourages hitting children to control their behavior and break their “sinful” wills. This is one of the reasons we left church.

We knew there were better ways to parent and we researched and read and realized we had no real role models.

I wish I had known gentle parenting from the beginning, but we live in a Puritanical shaming society that teaches, encourages, and uses abuse in church, school, and home to control children. This is the norm. Anything different gets side-eye from other parents. The mom wars, the judgment.

I have few rules. I expect kindness above all, and that pretty much solves most of the issues that arise in our home. We discuss boundaries and reasons, cause and effect, consequences.

There’s so much more to parenting than controlling screen time, rewards, punishments, tracking teens’ whereabouts through GPS devices, and complaining about their messy rooms.

We’re so often disappointed by others who aren’t kind and don’t understand gentleness and love – other kids, parents, leaders, teachers. It makes us sad.

I’ve made many mistakes as a parent and I am constantly evolving.

Teen brains are still developing. They don’t know how to make the connections between rules and consequences during emergencies. They still need lots of grace and guidance.

Parenting tweens and teens isn’t so much about letting go, as it is about hanging on for the roller coaster ride.

I try really hard not to take things personally. I try to read their mood and not react. I try to remain silent and not offer unsolicited advice.

It hurts when they tell me they don’t appreciate me or my jokes or my history or my reasons.

They’ve started joking, “Yeah, Mom, back in Georgia. In the ’90s.”

I’ve learned to accept and think about what they say rather than just waiting to reply.

All parenting is about connection. Attachment.

Health

It’s important to address teen health issues – both physical and mental.

Teens are under so much stress that can affect their health.

Vitamin deficiencies can become prevalent with poor teen or college diet. Fast food and energy drinks are popular, cheaper, and easier than meals.

Physical health issues can mimic many mental health disorders. It’s important to keep up with annual physicals and labs to monitor health.

Girls seem so much more prone to being low in iron, B, and D.

Mental health should be addressed as easily or even more than physical health.

Teens are learning to navigate relationships and it’s often very taxing on their emotions when friendships are troubled or just end.

Depression and anxiety seem to be much more common and should be addressed. Proper coping mechanisms need to be learned.

I won’t allow my kids to lie in their beds all day. They must accompany me on family walks after dinner.

Professionals can offer resources or even short term meds to help teens and young adults deal with the stress of high school, college, exams, relationships, and identity issues.

Outside and nature time is important. Free play, privacy, and quiet time are important – even for teens. Too many tweens and teens get so busy that they’re indoors all day, every day and it’s not healthy.

While I don’t limit screen time, I do realize social media is a poor replacement for real connection. So I talk to my teens about my concerns and how dangerous the Internet and social media can be. We discuss comparisons and the unreality of the Instamodels and their curated perfection.

We have ongoing age-appropriate discussions about sexuality. This cannot just be a one-time talk about what goes where, and please don’t do it until you’re over 30.

I don’t talk to others about my kids without their permission, and this includes siblings. I don’t post pictures or information about them online without their permission. I don’t go through their rooms or personal items without permission. They are people and have rights to their privacy. (There are times when I would break this rule to protect them and others.)

Trust is important.

I do want them to be able to talk to me about anything, even if it makes me very uncomfortable.

We have family dinners every night. We take evening walks almost every night. We play cards and tabletop games. We read together. We create together. I think balance is key.

I’m a coach, modeling to my kids how to live their best life. They learn to make wise decisions by making mistakes. Failure and natural consequences are the best teachers.

Adult children

When children reach the age of 18, they are considered legal adults and can vote, register for the draft, join the military, drive a car at any time, purchase tobacco products and sex toys.

Kids who are 18 can’t rent a car or hotel room. Some apartments won’t rent to anyone under age 21. Vehicle insurance is exorbitant until the late-20s. Few can be approved for an auto loan at a good rate.

Our society is confusing in that most 18 year olds are still in their last year of high school, having to request permission to use a toilet, but they’re expected to be mature, functioning adult members of society. They’re criticized for everything they do and say and monitored in stores as potential shoplifters, even more so if they’re not white. It’s assumed they can’t function without their faces aglow from the social media apps on their smartphones.

Expectations don’t meet the reality of the stresses teens and young adults face.

Even working full-time at an entry-level job, it is very difficult for young adults to achieve financial independence from parents.

College loans and credit cards are financial traps for young adults.

Without higher education from a technical or trade school, college or university, or apprenticeship, most employers aren’t interested.

It’s frustrating that most jobs my peers and I held as a teen – babysitting, pet sitting, household chores, yard work…aren’t available to teens as many adults vie for these flexible positions and many parents want to hire more qualified and certified adults to watch their children and pets and do their undesirable chores (but not with equal pay).

We invested in 529 plans for each of our children for higher education. We expect them to work part time jobs to make up any differences or to supplement their wants. We encourage them to apply for scholarships and work study programs to offset costs for higher learning. And all this builds character.

As a parent of teens, I must help my children navigate this tumultuous transition into adulthood.

There are so many ups and downs. Our society assumes that arguments and strife is normal, but it doesn’t have to be. Relationships evolve over time. I am still a mother and I still have children, though they’re older, hopefully wiser, and have more freedoms. And I can’t take things personally. I have to take a step back and remember when I was their age. I am here to assist and coach.

If you want to have a good relationship with your teenagers, you need to begin developing that relationship when the kids are very young.

Parents who control young children and treat them harshly won’t magically have great open relationships with their teens. Once they reach the ability to think abstractly, they will naturally questions rules and seek to be independent and authoritarian parents can’t handle that. Threats and punishments often backfire. Creating a prison of home doesn’t make anyone want to cooperate. Then parents want to take the easy way out and give up, shipping kids to relatives or military school, or something drastic.

Trust doesn’t just happen overnight. You can’t be a rule-cracking authoritarian and long for warm embraces and meaningful conversations from a distant and hesitant teen.

You develop trust from babyhood, working, failing, struggling, apologizing, loving – and doing it all over. Yes, it’s exhausting, and it can be heartbreaking, but it’s the most rewarding thing in the world.

Parenting teens requires diligence, consistency, honesty, forgiveness, and patience.

Resources:

  • Positive Discipline for Teenagers, Revised 3rd Edition: Empowering Your Teens and Yourself Through Kind and Firm Parenting by Jane Nelsen and Lynn Lott
  • The Teenage Brain: A Neuroscientist’s Survival Guide to Raising Adolescents and Young Adults by Frances E Jensen and Amy Ellis Nutt 
  • Jesus, the Gentle Parent: Gentle Christian Parenting by LR Knost
  • Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting by Laura Markham
  • Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood by Lisa Damour
  • Boundaries with Teens: When to Say Yes, How to Say by John Townsend
  • How to Talk So Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
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Filed Under: Family Tagged With: parenting, teen

How to Control Your Spiritual Growth

This blog may contain affiliate links: disclosure.
Please see my suggested resources.

September 12, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert 1 Comment

For anyone who has faith, spiritual growth is often a goal. How do you grow with your spirituality? The answers are easier than you might think.

Consider these tips to continue your personal growth through faith.

Stay Open-Minded

When you close your mind off to your faith, you halt all of the progress. You need to be open to new ideas, to be provide yourself with a clear path forward. Consider groups like The Way International to open the door for you to learn new things. Religion, faith, and spirituality are not about remaining stagnant. The point is to grow as a person. You should open yourself up to teachings and to new interpretations. Do not be afraid to question and explore your faith. When you close yourself off to your beliefs for any reason, you can lose your sense of self. You may feel like you aren’t growing with your religion or faith. This is not the fault of the spirituality but instead a problem with closing your mind off.

Balance Your Life

If your life is unbalanced, you might find progress in all areas to be difficult. For instance, if you are never pushing yourself to learn, then you may find that you don’t progress. Likewise, if all you focus on is your work, then you are putting no effort towards your spiritual growth. If you have balance in your life, then you won’t burn out as quickly. You can focus on growing in your faith, without worrying that you are ignoring other areas of your life. In fact, your faith should be a foundation for all areas of your life.

Keep Learning

Along with staying open-minded, you want to keep learning about your faith. This can be as simple as attending studies or meeting with people to talk about your faith. There is always something to learn. The more time you spend learning, the more knowledge you will gain. It doesn’t matter if you’re seeking personal growth or spiritual growth. The second that you stop learning, you cannot grow more. If you want to continue down the path of growth, then you need to learn new things. Until then, do things to help maintain balance.

Don’t Try Too Hard

Do not focus all your time and effort into growing in your faith. It should come naturally. Your beliefs should shape your life and you should not focus on your goals. Instead, keep in mind that your faith is what teaches you and you will progress with your faith as long as you are open to progression. While you can make goals to treat people the way that your faith teaches or to live in a way that your faith gives you examples of, you should never stress yourself.

Don’t be afraid of spiritual growth. No matter how far along on your faith-based journey that you are, there is always room to grow. When you focus on opening yourself up for growth and to learn new things, you can continue your spiritual journey.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized

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