If children are taught obedience, they’ll find someone to obey.

Teach your children to make wise decisions.

“Obedience is doing what you’re told, no matter what’s right. Morality is doing what’s right, no matter what you’re told.” L.R.Knost

In the beginning of my parenting journey, I was all about obedience.

We sang songs, did lapbooks, learned poems and chants, discussed character building with Bible verses and watched spiritual stories about obedience.

The church encouraged and supported these beliefs. There are many, many resources on the topic of obedience – for children and wives.

Do I want my kids to obey me for their safety? Certainly. And for young kids, they must be taught to obey me and trust me and respond quickly without thinking.

If I sharply say, “Stop!” or “Wait!” or “Duck!” of course, I want them to obey all the way, right way, with or without a cheerful heart. It’s for their immediate safety so they don’t step off the curb when there’s a car coming or get run over by a cyclist or get hit with a ball or Frisbee. If something occurs that they don’t understand, I explain why they needed to obey after the event. That’s just being a good parent and having a relationship with my kids and showing them respect.

After a child comes of age or has reached that age of reason, decisions are often so much more complex and the choice to obey gets more unclear. Differences between right and wrong become even cloudier as she weighs options and consequences. Often, the devil’s voice is very loud and drowns out what she knows to be true.

In the military (and many other professions), there are differences between leaders and bosses.

Bosses bark orders and expect troops to scramble to obey as quickly as possible. Leaders discuss solutions to problems and realize how often lower ranking members have really great ideas. But in the field, leaders know they have to give orders that must be obeyed quickly without question.

Relationship and trust is key.

We value leadership around here. We value relationship.

I’m raising leaders instead of followers.

I have to model the behaviors I desire to see in my children.

Recent events at our house have made me realize that I must be constantly diligent, seeking any holes in my relationships with my children and be quick plug the leaks.{Tweet This!}

I am in a constant battle for the souls of my children.

The Internet and its predators are constantly lurking, “friends” are wolves in sheep’s clothing, too many distractions to take us out of the home and into dangerous territory.

The devil is a ravenous lion, seeking to devour all that is good. (1 Peter 5:8)

He desires above all to destroy families and he will do it through our children.

Nothing worth doing is ever easy.

It would be easier for me to enroll my children in school and have time to myself. It would be easier to turn away and not know what they read, watch, listen to. It would be easier to send them out to play and not know where or with whom they hang out.

I refuse to take the easy way out.

Rebellion is not normal. The church and many Christian resources admonish parents to disciple, train, punish, even beat their children into submission. While we are all born with a sin nature, children don’t come into this world desiring to rebel against their parents, to irritate, annoy, or cause strife. They are naturally selfish little beings (as are we all!) and should be gently taught by example how to get along with kindness. There is no need for disrespect, punishment, or control in parenting. Parents should be guides, helping their children navigate society and learn how to cooperate well with others. Having power struggles with children only weakens their trust. They naturally want to please their parents and should be offered every opportunity to do so, in a safe and loving environment.

Children can be trusted to make wise decisions.

My children are worth more to me than comfort, money, time to myself, sleeping late in the morning, or even expanding my blogging and business.