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You are here: Home / Military / How I Spent Deployment

How I Spent Deployment

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March 10, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert 12 Comments

I grew up in the Bible belt, in a south Atlanta suburb. I didn’t know about Lent or a liturgical church year. My grandma was Lutheran and I went to church with her when she visited twice a year. All my school acquaintances were Baptist or Methodist. I sometimes visited their church when they were evangelizing.

I’ve come to see Lent as a time of reflection, personal growth, and study.

Looking back on these 7ish months, I realize I have changed, mostly for the better.

We’re in the countdown to homecoming with this second deployment.

Deployment is kind of like Lent, but for 215+ days instead of just 40 days.

Christian faithful are to do penance through prayer, fasting, abstinence, and by exercising works of piety and charity. All Fridays through the year, and especially during Lent, are penitential days.

from Lent and Easter Obligations as posted on the Military Archdiocese Website

We approached this deployment not with trepidation, but with anticipation for personal growth, as much needed time apart. As an introvert, I used this time to recharge.

How I spent this deployment

Prayer

Of course I pray for my deployed husband.

But having more free time on my hands without daily interaction with my husband, I found myself praying almost constantly. As an introvert and pretty quiet and introspective. It just became natural to talk to God.

I pray for my kids, their friends and acquaintances, their teachers and coaches.

I pray for The Church, our world and country leaders, minorities and those on the margins, nations in crisis, celebrities who are role models even if they shouldn’t be.

I pray for myself, that I will be softer, more humble, more loving, kinder.

I’ve discovered contemplative prayer and Lectio Divina and it’s really peaceful.

Fasting

Ash Wednesday and Lent are seasons of fasting.

I couldn’t say it any better for any time of year:

Source: Pietra Fitness

While I do intermittent fasting to detox, I don’t necessarily recommend that for everyone. It works for me and I enjoy smoothies, tea, and water during the week. Weekends are for pizza!

I lost 25 pounds during this deployment season. I exercised every single day, drank lots of water and tea, ate vegan or vegetarian during the day, healthy clean dinners (often seafood), and fewer animal products overall. The weight just fell off.

The feminist in me feels the need to say that I did all this for myself. I want my health to improve. I’m developing arthritis. My parents take handfuls of pills multiple times each day. My aunt just passed away last week from Alzheimer’s. I want to do better. I want to live better. I want to be a better role model of health for my kids.

Abstinence

Abstinence is a self-enforced restraint from indulging in bodily activities that are widely experienced as giving pleasure. Most frequently, the term refers to sexual abstinence, or abstinence from alcohol, drugs, or food.

Well, this one is easy. He’s thousands of miles away. It’s easy for me to stay faithful. And I don’t believe in what happens on deployment, stays on deployment. We don’t have that kind of relationship.

Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

1 Corinthians 7:5

It’s also easier for me to eat what I want and how I want. I’ve eaten much healthier and more vegetarian. I hope to maintain that even after he returns home.

I do occasionally have a beer or glass of wine, but it’s been more for special occasions or with fancier dinners, and so much less than before. It’s no fun to drink alone. It feels wasteful not having my husband to share it with.

Yes, I can be rather an ascetic, but I’m learning to balance better.

Exercise

Exercising body and soul. Almsgiving, piety, and charity.

Wholeness and generosity.

It’s all about getting closer to and loving God, others, and self.

I started physical therapy for knee arthritis. They straightened out my misaligned hips and taught me a lot of strengthening and core exercises.

I have maintained daily exercise since.

My son reminds me each evening by pulling my exercise ball out of the closet for me. I do stretches and strengthening exercises.

I also walk at least a mile every day or so, depending on temperatures. I can’t get out there if it’s below freezing. It just hurts my lungs to breathe that cold air.

I pinned some great online workouts.

Penitence

I’m a pro at beating myself up.

I don’t need anyone to point out my errors, mistakes, sins. I do a great job of that all on my own.

I’m trying to heal. I’m reading up on narcissism, dysfunction, shame, anger, fear.

I will break this cycle.

I’m reading so much to get me out of my comfort zone. Books by indigenous and Black authors, books about decolonization, race, theology.

I’m so tired of the white woman memoir. I’m tired of the self-deprecating oh-woe-is-me mantra of those who identify as my peers. It feels like they’re asking for sympathy, camaraderie, connection…but it seems to me they’re just excluding those who don’t identify the same way.

I’m tired of reading a cleansed, whitewashed, imperialist history told by a Eurocentric and/or white American perspective. It’s actually really time-consuming and stressful to find proper texts and living books that teach the spectrum of perspectives of real history.

I want to hear the silenced voices.

I don’t want to make excuses for my whiteness nor do I want to perpetuate privilege. We can’t hide behind ignorance. I want to teach my kids a better way.

As we count down the days and hours until husband and father returns, we clean our hearts and minds and house in preparation for the return of our beloved and much missed family member.

Resources:

  • This Is Where You Belong: Finding Home Wherever You Are by Melody Warnick 
  • Almost There: Searching for Home in a Life on the Move by Bekah DiFelice
  • God Strong: The Military Wife’s Spiritual Survival Guide by Sara Horn
  • Tour of Duty: Preparing Our Hearts for Deployment: A Bible Study for Military Wives by Sara Horn
  • Chicken Soup for the Military Wife’s Soul: 101 Stories to Touch the Heart and Rekindle the Spirit by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, and Charles Preston
  • Faith Deployed: Daily Encouragement for Military Wives by Jocelyn Green
  • Faith Deployed…Again: More Daily Encouragement for Military Wives by Jocelyn Green
  • Faith, Hope, Love, & Deployment: 40 Devotions for Military Couples by Heather Gray
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Filed Under: Military Tagged With: deployment, introvert, military, milspouse

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INTJ. Only child. Military Wife. Homeschool Mom. Geek. Naturalist. Traveler. Questioning authority since 1976.

I get home after errands and our AC is out but I s I get home after errands and our AC is out but I still made this gorgeous yellowfin tuna, jasmine rice, and sauteed veg, including some fun Japanese eggplant.
What's really devastating is that my parents have What's really devastating is that my parents have these annual agendas they used as journals and they recorded absolutely everything about their daily lives.My father mainly recorded his meals, digestion, sleep schedule, weather, finances, and medical appointments.So I get a glimpse into what my mother 's daily schedule, medical history, meals, thoughts, and feelings were for the past decade and it's glaringly obvious how little she thought of me and my children.I was barely on the checklist. I'm not sure at what point or even how to reconcile this and I just feel very alone.
Since my son has a baseball game tonight right in Since my son has a baseball game tonight right in the middle of dinner time. Southern bento box: salmon patties with remoulade, Cole slaw, Publix tater salad, fried corn. Gonna bring a cup of cherry limeade.
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My peonies are happy this year My peonies are happy this year
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Omg zaatar sumac lemon roasted chicken and potatoe Omg zaatar sumac lemon roasted chicken and potatoes with green beans almondine and sauteed zucchini and garlic bread with the pan juice. Yes.
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So, real issues now when Kerrygold butter is out o So, real issues now when Kerrygold butter is out of stock at Sam's.I bought the entire shelf of Kerrygold at our military commissary.But there's no good jasmine rice at the commissary and fewer breakfast sausage and lots of empty shelves where international foods should be stocked.I love how no one understands or cares how tariffs work.
Good heavens, this roasted garlic bread from Publi Good heavens, this roasted garlic bread from Publix and organic rosé wine (the Natura Pinot noir is good too) from Chile is absolutely amazing.I love Publix so much y'all. The subs, the potato salad, the salmon dinners, the cake! How friendly and helpful everyone is. I'm so excited that I have one only an hour and a half away now.I bought my wedding cake from Publix in 2005.
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Comments

  1. Donna Reidland says

    March 12, 2019 at 10:26 am

    It sounds like it has been time well spent!

    Reply
  2. Rebecca Hastings says

    March 12, 2019 at 4:38 pm

    What a beautiful, thoughtful perspective on deployment. I admit, I don’t have any military in my close family, and I have always thought of deployment as a terrible burden to suffer (especially as the person who is left at home). You have shifted my thinking that it can be a full, blessed time!

    Praying God continues to fill you up during this time and your family can celebrate this season upon your husband’s return!

    Reply
    • Jennifer says

      March 13, 2019 at 12:30 pm

      Thanks so much!

      Reply
  3. Jessi's Design says

    March 13, 2019 at 12:04 pm

    Way to go! Staying busy has to help!

    Reply
  4. Laurie says

    March 14, 2019 at 5:23 pm

    I am so inspired by Pope Francis’ words about fasting. I will keep them in mind this Lenten season. I am also fasting (from food) each Friday in Lent from sunup until sundown. So wonderful to read about how you are using deployment as an inspiration for personal and spiritual growth.

    Reply
  5. Kippi says

    March 14, 2019 at 6:36 pm

    Wonderful ideas for Lent! Fast from negativity. Happy Spring, Kippi #kippiathome

    Reply
  6. Alice V-DIYerfy says

    March 15, 2019 at 7:29 am

    I think I learned more about real history as an adult than I ever did as a kid in school. I never knew that the majority of cowboys during the wild west were Mexican or black. I never knew that there was even an all-black town that was built so that they could have a safe place to live. I also didn’t hear anything about the Vikings coming to America first or the fact that there is petrified hand prints that are millions of years old which would put the human race far older than what textbooks say we are.

    While it does suck that your husband is gone on deployment, I see that this is giving you time to invest in yourself in ways that you want to invest. Thanks for linking this up with us at #OMHGWW!

    Reply
  7. nylse says

    March 15, 2019 at 12:08 pm

    I’m not catholic, so I never really observed Lent. But I so appreciate your thoughts here – how time away from what is comfortable can draw us closer to God and shape our perspective. And that He is with us all the time.
    Thanks for sharing. Stopping by from a linkup.

    Reply
  8. Aimee says

    March 15, 2019 at 6:16 pm

    These are such beautiful reflections. I love how you’ve taken a difficult time (that I might have used as an excuse for self-pity and sloth) and turned it into an opportunity for healing and growth. I’m inspired by your words.

    Reply
  9. Laura Thomas says

    March 16, 2019 at 12:49 pm

    Thanks for sharing your time of growth with us… sounds like you have it beautifully balanced! Stopping by from #faithonfire

    Reply
  10. Jenny says

    March 18, 2019 at 8:47 am

    These are great ideas that everyone should try. Thanks for sharing your journey with us at Merry Monday!

    Reply
  11. Tina at Mommynificent says

    April 2, 2019 at 11:05 pm

    Good words. Thanks for sharing this at Booknificent Thursday on Mommynificent.com!
    Tina

    Reply
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