Homeschool Guilt

Anybody else out there have homeschool guilt? That whole comparison thing again.

I’ve wasted so much time and money trying to be like other homeschoolers, falling into the trap of if only, if I had this…then my kid would be smarter, better, faster, more.

You know what? All that stuff you see on blogs? It’s what bloggers want you to see. When it looks like a magazine spread, it’s staged to look that way. The mess is cropped out. But it’s still there.

What are you cropping out of your homeschool?

For years, I cropped out relationships with my kids, focused on academics and crossing off checklists and their appearances at playgroup and co-op.

I worried myself and them sick with making sure they knew what to say and how to act and I didn’t care about their hearts as much as their heads.

I saw another homeschool blogger mom the other day comment something to the effect of:

I realize I’ll never be that homeschool mom who has it all together, with the perfectly organized house and glossy courteous children and fully monetized gorgeously-designed blog that supports my family financially so my husband can stay home and drive us nuts and be with the family.

I’ll never be that mom.

And it’s ok.

I’m {probably} the mom God wants me to be. I’m not perfect. My kids aren’t perfect. My husband isn’t perfect. My house is sure not perfect.

I often say it’s never a three for three day. I occasionally succeed at homeschooling and blogging or housework and homeschooling, but never housework, homeschooling, and blogging well on the same day. Something always has to give. And it’s ok.

Weekends are for catching up.

My kids’ hearts and relationships matter more than math or dishes in the sink or the dust hares (they’re too vicious to be mere bunnies) under the sofas and beds.

As we’re beginning high school with the eldest, I realize relationship matters more than anything. Without capturing her heart for Christ, nothing else matters.

So I sacrifice my time and desires to work alongside her, coaching her and guiding her. Because she’s worth it.