When my kids were young, I struggled to make holidays magical.

It was actually pretty easy because kids look for magic everywhere.

I struggled for moderation and balance. I didn’t like going into debt for one day and see all the presents discarded while they played with one simple toy for months afterwards.

I almost miss the pretty dresses and excitement leading up to Christmas morning.

Now that my kids are teens, they really don’t even remember those holidays when they were young. They don’t remember our decorations or the presents or the food or the spilled wine or my sadness, stress, and worry I felt.

The kids ask for stories of holidays when I was young or how did we celebrate in Hawaii when we lived there. I don’t gloss over anything. It helps me to talk about it.

Holidays have always been hard for me. I’ve spent many years laying a foundation of memories for my children in spite of my triggers and stresses and perfectionism.

I realize my giving up control and letting my kids do the holidays how they want has really made us all so much happier.

Over the years, I did some things right and oh, so many things wrong.

Some years, we put the tree up way early. We did this during deployment and this year with the pandemic. We need some joy.

The kids almost set up and decorate everything with very little input from me these last few years. I stand back in awe. They work together like clockwork. The kids even set up the lights and animal decorations outside.

We began traditions years ago that have stayed with us and we all look forward to St. Nicholas’ Day and Hanukkah latkes each year. We look forward to the Solstice.

My teens love to bake and they’re old enough now that I come home from errands or appointments to a lovely walnut pound cake or pumpernickel bread or a new cookie recipe.

My middle daughters make homemade gifts – jewelry and art. I am impressed by their creativity.

My son has always helped me with the gift wrapping. I find it interesting that his sisters have never really expressed interest.

I love seeing the pride on their faces that they did these wonderful magical things for our family. They are making great memories.

I love watching holiday movies with my kids. They still love the fun family favorites and we’re adding new traditions each year. There hardly seems time enough to watch everything!

We love listening to holiday music and find some fun and unique play lists during our pizza making each week.

I still read aloud every morning with our homeschool and holiday books.

My eldest moved out a month ago and we’re enjoying seeing her about once a week for a family dinner. Her siblings miss her and love playing games and watching videos with her.

Many activities we have done every year, but they just seem more special now that my teens look forward to them and even remind me. They rave about my Aunt Betty’s punch that we only have on special occasions.

They’re starting to realize and prefer the frugal activities that mean more than spending lots of money on fleeting experiences or items that won’t last.

Holiday Fun with Teens

• Advent Readings and Celebrations
• Frank Kelly Christmas Countdown
• PNC Christmas Price Index
• Holiday Movies
• Holiday Books
• Saint Nicholas Day
• Hanukkah Latkes
• Looking at Lights
• Baking and Cooking – See some recipes for snowballs, chocolate chip, and chocolate spice cookies
• Cocoa or Cider Bar
• Winter Hiking
• Ice Skating or Tubing
• Game Night
• Christmas Tea Party
• Winter Solstice Activities

How have your holidays changed with older kids?

You might also like:

• Pandemic Holiday Tips
• Gift Guides for Everyone
• Holiday Blues
• Introvert Holiday Survival Guide
• Celebrating Holidays During Deployment
• Blue Christmas