Raising Global Teens

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September 1, 2020 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month.

Suicide is the second-leading cause of death among teens, and experts are fearing the worst as young adults prepare to face unknown challenges that the return of school may bring – from coping with varying curricula, stressing over grades, and continued social isolation from friends and trusted teachers.

I have suffered from depression since I was about 12 years old. My husband has anxiety. At least two of my daughters experience anxiety and/or depression. We know that mental health issues can be hereditary. My parents and grandparents and my husband’s family members surely were affected and never diagnosed.

We have lived all over. I made it my goal to raise Global children.

We experienced Hawaii for three years, which is very like a foreign country. We as a white family were very much a minority there and loved learning about the history and culture.

We lived in Germany for three years, and were lucky to travel all over Europe to learn and experience the history and culture.

We experienced culture shock when we settled in Dayton, Ohio, three years ago. It’s still hard sometimes to fit in.

The pandemic quarantine hasn’t really affected our family like many others since our lifestyle is very simple, minimalist, and self-sufficient. But there are times that it’s still hard.

In her book Raising Global Teens, Dr. Anisha Abraham analyzes key subjects facing today’s teens, in the context of our modern, mobile world.

How can we help cross-cultural teens stay happy, healthy, and balanced particularly in a time of uncertainty and a global pandemic?

Stop Comparing – Reminding teens that no one is perfect. Everyone is “uneven”, meaning they excel in some areas, but not others, and that is OK.
Time Management – Encouraging teens to set goals, prioritize tasks, break large assignments into smaller steps, work for designated time periods and take breaks, and use a reminder system for deadlines.
Unwinding – Making sure teens take time to fill their “anti-stress toolbox” with healthy ways to unwind. This could be as simple as talking to trusted friends or watching a funny show.
Mind & Body Care – Ensuring teens are getting adequate sleep, eating well, and exercising to regulate mood and energy levels.
Resilience – Supporting teens during these times of uncertainty and helping them to build resilience and get “bounce”
Conversations – Having important conversations with teens about challenging topics such as pubertal changes, sexting, vaping, planning for the future and more
Signs of Depression & Suicide Risk – Understanding warning signs which include: mood swings, withdrawal, poor sleeping or appetite, trouble with memory and concentration, talking or writing about suicide, and giving away belongings.
Getting Help – Knowing when and where to get professional support if you believe your teen is depressed or suicidal

Globalization has given many of us unparalleled opportunities to work, travel, fall in love, and raise kids all over the world. But it has made being a teen more complicated than ever. Imagine having to discover your identity and place in the world when you keep having to move communities, your parents are from different backgrounds, you’re exposed to multiple cultures daily or faced with challenges such as global warming and pandemics. How can we help these teens be happy, healthy, and resilient.

Raising Global Teens explores the hot topics adolescents experience today: identity, social media, body image, traumatic events, puberty, drugs and stress all in the context of our modern, mobile world. In this easy-to-read handbook, Dr. Anisha combines real-world examples with practical solutions, drawing on the latest research, her own experience and that of the many cross-cultural teens she has worked with over the last 25 years. Raising Global Teens enables busy families, health providers, and educators apply powerful tools to help today’s adolescents thrive.

About the Author

Dr. Anisha Abraham, MD, MPH is a board certified pediatrician and adolescent health specialist with 25 years of global experience. She treats and counsels young people with a variety of issues including social media use, drug use and stress. As a recognized educator, she provides training on adolescent health and wellness to faculty, teens and parents. Her clinical and research work combined with her experience with cultures and transition is the basis for her passion and interest in making the lives of global teens better.

She completed her medical degree at Boston University in a 7-year BA/MD program, her pediatric residency at Walter Reed Hospital, a fellowship in adolescent medicine at Children’s National Medical Center in Washington, DC and a Masters in Public Health at George Washington University. During her career, she has served in a variety of roles including as Chief of Adolescent Medicine, a Lt Colonel in the US Army, and Medical Director of a school-based clinic. She has been on faculty at the University of Amsterdam, Chinese University of Hong Kong and Georgetown University Hospital in Washington, DC.

She knows what it’s like to face an ever-changing social landscape. She grew up in the United States as the daughter of South Asian immigrants and has lived with her husband and two kids in Asia, Europe and the US over the last ten years. She understands the challenges of moving from place to place with a family and experiencing different communities. Teens need tools and strategies to handle life’s challenges, to be resilient and to thrive in today’s fast paced environment. As a physician, educator, and parent, she helps teens to discover their strengths, focus on their wellbeing, and successfully navigate a changing world.

Preorder Raising Global Teens: A Practical Handbook for Parenting in the 21st Century by Dr. Anisha Abraham

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Children and Loss: Stages of Grief

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June 25, 2020 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

There is nothing in a child’s life to prepare them for death. While children pass through the same stages of grief as adults, due to their limited life experiences, they will grieve differently. It is important to remember that every person and child grieves differently and at his or her own pace.

Children experience loss and grief in many different circumstances. The sadness they feel due to the loss of a parent or other loved one may be experienced in many different ways over time.

Swiss psychiatrist, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, described grief as having at least five specific stages, moving from denial to anger to bargaining, then to depression and finally acceptance. In fact, while this is a useful framework for describing the components of grief, people do not move through the stages in a linear fashion. Recent research supports a more dynamic experience with movement in and out of these states over time.

Denial

This is the first stage of grief. Children want to continue to believe that everything is okay and that nothing bad has actually happened. If they were to take in all the emotion related to the loss right away, it would be too overwhelming so they may deny the loss thus giving their body and mind have a little time to adjust to the way things are now without the deceased.

Anger

During this stage, a child may blame others for their difficulties. This particular stage can last for days, weeks, months and years. It is when the earliest feelings are replaced by frustration and anxiety. Kids may be angry, irritable, and difficult to get along with. It is best for your child and others involved with your child to encourage expression of and discussion about their angry feelings.

Bargaining

A child may start to exhibit behaviors that seem very positive, including appearing to be very mature. School work may improve dramatically. The child may believe that doing everything “just right” will fix the situation. Bargaining is often accompanied by guilt. This is basically our way of negotiating with the hurt and pain of the loss.

Depression

This phase may be a delayed but often occurs when reality really sinks in. During this stage of grief, intense sadness, decreased sleep, reduced appetite, and loss of motivation are common.

Acceptance

Finally, children often enter this stage once they have processed their initial grief emotions, are able to accept that the loss has occurred and cannot be undone, and are once again able to plan for their futures and re-engage in daily life.

It is important to recognize that children, like adults, may move between the different stages at different rates and can jump around between each phase. Recovery is more of a process than an event.

Parents can help their children by grieving with them, listening, offering love and reassurance, helping memorialize the deceased, encouraging questions, and seeking professional help if needed.

About Charlene Khaghan:

A mother of five children, Charlene’s husband passed away suddenly when their youngest child was only three years old. Not only was she forced to deal with her own pain from the loss, she had to find ways to help her children deal with their own feelings of grief and sadness.

Khaghan has a master’s degree in special education and LMSW in social work. She taught high school special education for many years and currently works as a therapist in a university counseling center.

In her newly released book, A Tiny Step Forward, author Charlene Khaghan lets young children know that if they have lost someone close, be it friend, pet or family member, it is okay to feel upset and miss the person they are grieving. And, in the days that follow, it is okay to once again feel happy and to enjoy life as their loved one would have wanted for them.

When it comes to explaining grief to a child, this book can help children know they are not alone and normalize what they are experiencing.

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Our Wild Calling Book Review

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November 22, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

I love animals. I’ve always loved animals.

I feel it is my duty to teach my children love and respect for nature and animals.

I’ve always made nature and animal encounters a priority in our homeschool and life.

We’re a military family and I love to learn about the flora and fauna of every new place we live.

We chose to rent our current house in Ohio because the backyard is all wooded with a little creek. We often see deer, opossums, raccoons, stray cats, owls, hawks, herons, ducks, woodpeckers, hummingbirds, and sometimes even a coyote. I set out food for the critters and my family calls me Snow White.

Our next door neighbor is a certified Ohio naturalist!

The little pond near our current house offer close encounters with kingfishers, herons, ducks. I love to watch them as I take my daily walk.

We lived in the Pfalz forest in Germany and saw lots of foxes and boar along the road and in the meadows. We had a lovely little backyard pond where frogs and toads would lay eggs and we watched them grow up. We also learned about the dragonfly life cycle. We even had a huge salamander one day!

We would giggle as we watched the quail skedaddle across our backyard in Utah. The hummingbird fights were breathtaking in the mornings and evenings. We lived near Antelope Island and Farmington Bay and loved to go watch the bison, antelope, deer, water birds, eagles, and coyotes.

We spent almost every meal on our lanai in Hawaii and our nightly dinner guest was this very friendly red cardinal who would perch on the back of a chair and dine on our crumbs. He brought his wife and family every season.

I grew up in an Atlanta suburb, but I loved birds, bugs, and water life. I played in the Flint River creek system behind our neighborhood, despite my mother’s warnings.

I anticipate magic when I encounter nature. I anticipate a connection with animals and I am seldom disappointed.

No young child chooses to turn away from nature. Losing touch with that relationship hurts just as it would to be separated from any other loving, foundational connection they have in their lives.
Nicolette Sowder

We have cat companions and they are members of our family. They are better than therapy and help us through tough times. They know when we are sick or feeling down and snuggle up to us to comfort.

Without any apology, lightweight theology, or fear of heresy, I can appropriately say that Venus [the black lab] was also Christ for me.
Richard Rohr, The Universal Christ

I am a firm believer that if we are still and quiet in nature, we will be rewarded with blessings of magical animal encounters. They are curious and long to connect with us if they don’t see us as threats to them.

I’ve read sections of Our Wild Calling aloud to my family and we are all delighted at the animal encounter stories.

We looked up biophilic design. We remember seeing the animal bridges in Europe across the Autobahn and highways. My daughter told us about the turtle tunnels in Japan.

In his newest book, OUR WILD CALLING: How Connecting with Animals Can Transform our Lives—and Save Theirs, author Richard Louv redefines the future of human-animal coexistence by exploring our deep bonds with other animals and calling for a transformation in how we view, treat, and inhabit our environment.

Through interviews with researchers, theologians, wildlife experts, indigenous healers, parents, teachers, and psychologists, Louv reveals how dogs can teach children ethical behavior, how animals in urban areas are blurring the lines between the domestic and the wild, and what role the human-animal relationship plays in our spiritual well-being.

He explores urgent topics such as biodiversity, inter-species health, and unprecedented conservation practices – including the proposal to set aside half of the planet for nature and wildlife and the assisted migration of invasive species. Louv also introduces readers to pioneering biologists who practice “practical anthropomorphism” as a way to do better science, naturalists now helping thousands of people learn bird language, scientists developing new ways communicate with pets and wild animals, and animal-assisted therapists and teachers challenging the fields of mental health and education.

About the Author

Richard Louv is a journalist and author of ten books. Louv is co-founder and chair emeritus of the nonprofit Children & Nature Network, which supports a new nature movement through partnerships with such organizations as the National League of Cities. In 2008, he was awarded the Audubon Medal, presented by the National Audubon Society.

Richard Louv’s landmark book, Last Child in the Woods, inspired an international movement to connect children and nature and has now sold over half a million copies. Co-founder of the Children & Nature Network and winner of the Audubon Medal. Louv has become the expert on radically improving mental and physical health through our relationship to the natural world.

Get your copy of Our Wild Calling.

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What animal encounters have you experienced?

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Oola for Christians

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July 15, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

I first met the Oola guys at an essential oil convention many years ago.

I was super impressed by them and their book and their message.

I am so please to see their ideas become so popular and spark the Oola movement around the world!

Oola co-authors want to help people live the life God designed for them.

The Oola Guys: Troy Amdahl (OolaGuru) and Dave Braun (OolaSeeker), renowned experts in a proper life balance, have been traveling the highways of America (they’ve visited every state in the US except Hawaii and Alaska) in their 1970 VW surf bus covered with hand-written dreams on colorful Oola stickers placed there by people who are putting their dreams into action and are ready to live the OolaLife (they say the van is covered with twenty-five layers of stickers!). It’s a powerful, yet simple message that has captured almost one million Oola fans on social media (when they host an event, the line is wrapped around the building).

But it’s not easy trying to live up to your true potential when life gets in the way. It’s difficult to see the greatness within you when life is busy and out of balance.

That’s where the Oola guys come in.

What is Oola? Its origins come from the expression “ooh-la la!” and is a “state of awesomeness.” What started out in 1997 as a small group of buddies meeting once a year at the Hard Rock in Vegas to set goals for the future has now become Oola, a nationwide phenomenon and a dynamic movement.

Now, co-authors Troy Amdahl and Dave Braun are releasing Oola For Christians: Find Balance in An Unbalanced World.

“When your life is balanced and growing, you are living the OolaLife,” says Amdahl. “You were created to live that life – you were designed by God for greatness! Before you were even born, God placed within you a special gift that no one else has and a purpose that no one else can fulfill.”

The Oola principles incorporate Biblical teachings into practical, effective platforms to help readers overcome stress and create the awesome life they were meant to have. The book details how to avoid the 7 OolaBlockers that prevent people from accomplishing their goals and demonstrates how to apply the 7 OolaAccelerators that propel people forward toward their greatest potential.

Plus, readers will learn how to create balance and fulfillment in their lives by optimizing the 7 F’s of Oola: Fitness, Finance, Family, Field (career), Faith, Friends, and Fun.

“Oola helps strengthen your faith in Christ,” adds Braun. “No matter what you are going through, you will get through it because God has your back. Choose prayer over worry and stay faithful. Trust that God has a purpose for your plan.”

Young Living Convention (July 17-19, 2019) – both Troy and Dave will be attending/speaking to crowds of fans! (They are celebrities among the essential oil distributors and 30,000 will be in attendance this year)
This is the third book in the OolaLife series, which has sold over 125,000 copies and collected over one million fans on social media
Christians need to be strengthened because as a culture we are losing our way – our faith is weak, our hope is shaky, and our Christian principles are constantly tested.
2019 Oola Dream Tour, stopping in Lansing, MI; New Orleans, LA; Salt Lake City, UT; Mexico City; Houston, TX; and Las Vegas, NV. Check www.oolalife.com for more dates!

About the Authors

Troy Amdahl (Phoenix) is a native of Rochester, MN. The “OolaGuru” graduated cum laude from Northwestern Health Sciences University, then became a devoted husband and father (has 4 kids), and a successful businessman who travels the world, retired debt-free at 42, and an Ironman triathlete. Once a year, he and a group of friends―including Dave, the “OolaSeeker” who sought him out as a mentor―would meet to set goals and find balance and growth in the key areas of life―the synthesis of which became the philosophy and movement that is Oola.

Dave Braun (Salt Lake City) is a native of Napoleon, ND. Dave found material success at a young age while under the mentorship of Troy who taught him how to live the Oola principles of balance, but eventually drifted from them and found himself bankrupt, divorced (with 5 kids), disconnected, and living in a motel. At rock bottom, he sought out Troy, knowing he needed help to get his Oola back. The “OolaSeeker” vowed that if this worked, he would share Oola with the world. It did, and today, he and Troy travel the country in a 1970 VW surf bus, speaking to groups, collecting dreams, and helping people find balance, purpose, and growth through the 7 F’s of Oola.

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A Drop of Hope

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March 29, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

**I received this product for free from Moms Meet (momsmeet.com) to use and post my honest opinions. Compensation for this post was provided and this page may contain affiliate links.**

I decided to read this book aloud to my three kids as a bedtime story.

It became so good that we also began reading a couple chapters each morning.

I wanted to read ahead, but I was a good mom and waited to read it with my kids.

Lots of fun little details made us sit up straighter and listen more closely.

We live in Ohio.

My husband’s name is Aaron and his best friend in school was named Jamie, just like two characters in the book.

Big sister is named Lizzie and loves trivia, like Lizzy in the book.

We became really sympathetic with the main characters. They were lively, funny, real.

The teacher, Mr. Earle, is great and my homeschooled kids really appreciate him.

We have a responsibility to help others.

The Universe, Spirit, strives to help us love others, help others, connect to others. When we pray, wish, hope, dream…we don’t know how, why, when, or even if, we will be answered.

We had some great family discussions about hope, dreams, how we can help others, how we can pay attention to others’ needs. How we can be grateful in all circumstances.

Stories connect us.

Scholastic’s A Drop of Hope typically retails for $16.99.

The book, A Drop of Hope, is a stunning heartfelt novel for kids ages 8–12 that offers empathy and hope.

My kids are 9, 12, 13. I am 43. We were all was absolutely delighted.

About the book:

• Told from multiple points of view, A Drop of Hope is a book that shows how a single act of kindness can create waves and remind us how powerful a little hope can be.

• A hint of magic, a missing treasure, and unexpected friendships will appeal to both boys and girls.

• The characters are so real, they jump off the page, making it a great book for family read alouds.

What trusted teacher/educational magazines had to say:

• “Lovely.” – Kirkus Reviews

• “A promising first novel that delivers its own measure of hope.” – Booklist Award-winning authors love this book!

• “A book that reminds us of what we are capable of.” – Gary D. Schmidt, Newbery Honor-winning author of Okay for Now

• “This has renewed my faith in humanity.” – Kirby Larson, Newbery Honor-winning author of Hattie Big Sky

About the Author

Keith Calabrese is a screenwriter known for television films like My Favorite Wedding on the Hallmark channel. A Drop of Hope is his debut novel. He holds a degree in creative writing from Northwestern University. A former script reader, he lives in Los Angeles with his wife, kids, and a dog who thinks he’s a mountain goat.

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How the Bible Actually Works Book Review

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February 18, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

Do you have questions?

I have questions.

And no one has ever had answers before.

We have a sacred responsibility: a call to follow this biblical lead and reimagine God in our time and place.

Check out this great new book:

How the Bible Actually Works: In Which I Explain How An Ancient, Ambiguous, and Diverse Book Leads Us to Wisdom Rather Than Answers—and Why That’s Great News by Peter Enns

There are discrepancies in the Bible. Sometimes, it doesn’t make sense.

I first learned it as literature, and maybe that is still a good idea for some of the stories in the Bible.

Fundamentalists want us to take it all literally, but is that really wise?

We live in a new era and if we don’t understand history, how can we understand the Bible and the writers and their times?

I’ve spent most of my life looking for answers to Christian question.

I didn’t grow up in church, but I grew up with a marginally Christian ideal in the Bible belt.

I sought truth and answers as a young mom in all the wrong places and learned first hand about church and spiritual abuse.

Most churches and church leaders don’t like questions. They either don’t have any answers or their answers aren’t satisfying.

One pastor even blurted out to me: “Does it even really matter?”

Maybe it doesn’t.

Maybe it does.

So much about American church teachings is just plain wrong. They’re all about numbers, money, separation, exclusion.

I love Jesus. I love the Bible. I love my neighbor. I just don’t love church.

I’m not popular in church because I rock the boat. I question. I want to sing hymns no one else knows. I want to incorporate beautiful rituals no one else understands.

People don’t like change. They don’t like to be shaken up.

They want their comfortable, sitting in the pew or chair, vanilla sermon, shaking hands, coffee and pastry time. Done in about an hour.

I’ve taken my kids out of Sunday schools at every church we’ve ever attended because I didn’t like what and how they taught.

This book answers lots of doctrinal questions in a humorous and intelligent way.

Buy How the Bible Actually Works.

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I received a free ARC from the publisher.

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Shameless Book Review

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January 24, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert 10 Comments

Shameless: A Sexual Reformation by Nadia Bolz-Weber releases on January 29, 2019.

I never learned about healthy sexuality.

My sex education as a kid consisted of my mom throwing a stack of library books on the dining room table and telling me to teach myself. And in 5th grade, I watched a cheesy film strip when they separated the boys and girls and taught us how our bodies would be changing soon. There were no questions. In 9th grade, during the required coed health class taught by the football coach, there were no questions either.

I didn’t become a Christian until my mid-twenties. I grew up in marginally Christian culture home. I prayed a little rhyme before meals and at bedtime. I knew right from wrong but I had no real foundation why. My parents were and are racist and sexist, which I’ve always assumed was because of their upbringing and the times in which they lived. As an only child born to them later in life, I couldn’t relate much to my peers whose parents were younger and seemed more accepting. My parents will be 76 this spring, living in a huge brick house about 45 minutes south of Atlanta. They seem to hate everything and everyone. They are bitter old white people who complain about the success of others they deem less deserving than they.

When I was 18, my dad found condoms in my purse. Why he was snooping in my purse I will never know or understand. He stormed into my bathroom to confront me. I was just getting out of the bath and I stood there, dripping and trying to wrap myself in a towel, while he berated me about my boyfriend. I was forbidden to see him anymore. I was 18 but treated like a little child. It was easier for me to break up than deal with the family strife.

Fast forward to age 20, when I attempted suicide before Christmas. My father told me I didn’t mean anything to my older by 6 years boyfriend. He was just using me. This time, instead of conceding to my father’s “protection,” I eloped.

My marriages were pretty disastrous. Counselors, both Christian and secular, told me to just allow my husband all the sex he wanted, whenever and however he wanted it – and all would be better. Trite tips on how to parrot his requests to improve communication. I was always the aggressor, refusing to back down in my admonition that communication and sex weren’t the real problems. My first husband was addicted to pornography. My second was mentally ill. But somehow, they were victims.

I researched and did all the self-help – secular and churchy. I dove down that evangelical rabbit hole. I’ve been divorced (gasp!) and church members just wanted to pray for reconciliation (no!). I thought purity culture might be the answer. (It’s not.)

I tried to be the perfect Christian wife. I am not a quiet meek little mouse. I was ostracized, criticized, alienated for being myself. A cis straight white woman – homemaker and homeschooler. I can’t even imagine what others face who are more on the fringes of what church culture deems appropriate.

I’m just really, really, really tired of it all.

Something has to change.

I have three daughters and a son. What narrative about sexuality do I want them to learn? From whom do I want them to learn about it? It’s important to do more than have The Talk. How do I help my kids make sense of it all? I want them to have healthy relationships. It has to be an ongoing conversation and I have to learn alongside my kids and have no fear.

Sex sells. Sex permeates our society. Sex affects all our relationships – with coworkers, acquaintances, authority figures. People who see everything in black and white say just always avoid being alone with someone of the opposite sex, as if that protects everyone from abuse, assault, accusation.

In light of #MeToo and #ChurchToo and abuse, scandals, hatefulness, we need to step up and lead a way into light for those who are lost. We love Jesus, but not the church.

Christians are obsessed with sex. But not in a good way. For generations countless people have suffered pain, guilt, and judgment as a result of this toxic fixation on sex, the human body.

Raw, intimate, and timely, Nadia Bolz-Weber’s latest book offers a full-blown overhaul of our harmful and antiquated ideas about sex, gender, and our bodies.

I love this book because the author addresses sexuality in our society and in our churches and what it could and should be. She relates her own personal experiences – mistakes, shameless choices, and the broken rocky road that we all travel. Her imagery is unique and beautiful. I love her writing and I’ve read all her books.

We need a sexual reformation in the church.

Order now! Shameless: A Sexual Reformation by Nadia Bolz-Weber.

I preordered the book and received a galley copy from the publisher, Convergent/Penguin Random House.

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Making Sense of It Book Review

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November 25, 2018 By Jennifer Lambert 2 Comments

Making Sense of “It” by Alison Macklin is a new guide to help you navigate sex ed with your kids.

Sex is an uncomfortable topic for many and this book offers a great outline of what and how to discuss various topics surrounding sexuality with our children.

My Review

I learned about sex in school. The very basics with a little film strip in 5th grade. And health class in 9th grade—anatomy, STIs, and pregnancy – from the football coach!

Our kids have lots of questions about sex.

It’s up to me as a parent to be available to answer questions and even initiate a conversation about sex.

What about masturbation? Is it ok to have sexual fantasies? What about kissing, blowjobs, or taking The Pill? If you touch someone’s penis, can you get pregnant? If you douche after sex, you won’t get pregnant…right? Is porn ever ok?

Making Sense of “It” goes beyond the basics of the birds and the bees to give teens a realistic, no-holds barred, nonjudgmental guide on everything having to do with sex and sexuality. With this book, teens can learn about “it” all from the best contraception methods to what to expect at a clinic, even to the signs of an unhealthy relationship.

In a world where teens are bombarded with bad information on social media, are meant to feel ashamed of something so natural, Making Sense of “It” counters that with trustworthy, gender-neutral advice on how to be safe, informed, and honest about “it.”

I want my kids to have healthy relationships and that includes a healthy sexuality. We don’t buy into the evangelical purity movement. I want my kids to have real information and I have to feel comfortable talking about it and answering the hard questions. If I don’t help my kids navigate through these waters, they will Google it, ask their peers, or find the information they seek somewhere and it might not be the best answer.

This book may not be for everyone but these topics come up more and more – on social media, in classrooms, at college, in youth group, Sunday school, the playground. I want my kids to have a good, healthy foundation about their personal values before they are bombarded with uncomfortable circumstances.

I like the conversation starters at the end of each chapter. They can be used as an outright script, or as a journaling activity, or as a casual conversation.

The introduction is entitled “Dear Teen” and it is perfect.

Nineteen chapters cover most sexual topics in this 2018 climate. The last chapter offers resources for more info.

I feel this is a book that should be introduced to tweens and revisited often with teens by parents, keeping an open conversation throughout the growing years.

It’s important to discuss healthy relationships when so few of my generation had a model or knows how.

About the Book

Go-to introductory resource on sex ed for teens, college students, parents, educators, social workers, and health professionals.
Can be read separately or together as a family to meet everyone’s different needs.
Includes helpful sections specifically written for parents and teens to help break the ice and foster mutual understanding.
Conversation starters (a list of suggested questions for teens and parents) accompany each chapter to keep the conversation going and to foster connections on a more meaningful level.
Includes “fun facts” throughout the book that delve more deeply into certain topics like average penis sizes, female ejaculation, and the need for regular STI screenings.
Covers many different topics not often covered in health class/sex ed:
- the human brain in relation to sex and puberty,
- defining sexuality,
- the need for human touch,
- sexual identity and orientation,
- gender roles,
- feeling horny,
- various levels of “risk” in sexual behaviors, and
- signs of healthy and negative relationships.
Also touches upon more progressive and sex-positive topics like:
- consent culture,
- sex toys, fetishes, and fantasies,
- pornography,
- choosing when to become sexually active,
- tactics to improve communication with sexual (current or potential) partners,
- how to get help and be an active bystander when witnessing sexual harassment and assault, and
- abortion.

About the Author

Alison Macklin has been with the Responsible Sex Education Institute at the Planned Parenthood of the Rocky Mountains (PPRM) for over fourteen years and is currently Vice President of Education and Innovation. Macklin is an award-winning, nationally recognized leader in sex education and holds a Master’s in Social Work from the University of Denver. She is a mother of two who lives in Colorado.

Praise for the Book

“Kudos to Alison Macklin for creating a book to help parents and teens talk more honestly and frequently about sex and sexuality. This fun, up to date, accurate, and easy-to-understand guide will help families to connect more about these absolutely critical issues.”
— Leslie M. Kantor, PhD, MPH, Vice President, Education, Planned Parenthood Federation of America

“Making Sense if ‘It’ is the Our Bodies, Our Selves for today: comprehensive, unbiased, medically accurate, and respectful. This should be on the bookshelf and nightstand of every household so that caregivers and youth alike can read it, discuss it, and learn from it.”
— Pat Paluzzi, DrPH, CNM, President and CEO Healthy Teen Network

“This book is a must read for all teenagers and parents of teens, about a subject that is often hard to talk about: sex. Author Alison Macklin gives great, practical, actionable advice on how to keep communication open and honest.”
— Jason Woods MD, Assistant Professor of Pediatrics, creator of Little Patients, Big Medicine

“I loved it! Alison Macklin offers teen readers honest, engaging, and at times humorous information about puberty, sex and sexuality. The book is chock-full of useful suggestions for parents as well, providing tips to start conversations with their teens and keep the lines of communication open during the sometimes bumpy road through puberty and adolescence.”
— Debra Hauser, President of Advocates for Youth

“This book provides excellent information about sexual health and important advice for staying healthy and having good relationships. The overview of sex and sexuality will be extremely useful for teens and parents alike.”
— Connie Newman, MD Adjunct Professor of Medicine, New York University School of Medicine, and President 2018-2019 American Medical Women’s Association

“In this rapidly changing world of sexuality, gender and relationships Alison Macklin’s new book is just the resource teens need be ready for the wonderful world of sex and relationships. With her smarts, experience, and guidance, teens of all genders and orientations will get just what they need to make great choices.”
— Amy Lang, MA, founder Birds & Bees & Kids and author, Dating Smarts – What Every Teen Needs to Date, Relate or Wait!

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Positive Discipline for Today’s Busy (and Overwhelmed) Parent

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September 2, 2018 By Jennifer Lambert 10 Comments

Positive Discipline for Today’s Busy (and Overwhelmed) Modern Parent by Jane Nelson, EDD, Kristina Bill, and Joy Marchese, MA, CPDT

Short Bio

Jane Nelsen, EDD, founder of Positive Discipline and coauthor of the bestselling Positive Discipline series, is a licensed marriage, family, and child therapist and an internationally known speaker. Her books have sold more than two million copies worldwide.
Kristina Bill is active across the fields of business, arts, and personal development. She holds a business degree and is a certified Life Coach and Positive Discipline Parent Educator. She is a highly sought-after corporate coach specializing in leadership and personal impact.
Joy Marchese, MA, CPDT, has worked as a trainer, teacher, and parent educator in various schools and corporate settings for over twenty years. In 2015, she launched Positive Discipline UK, spreading Positive Discipline across Europe and the Middle East.

Interview Q&A with Jennifer Lambert

What are the origins of the Positive Discipline methodology and how you became involved with it?

PD is based on the grounded philosophy of Alfred Adler, the grandfather of Individual Psychology. In a nutshell Adler taught that all human beings (including children) deserve to be treated with human dignity and respect. He taught about the importance of social interest and the need for all human beings to feel belonging (connection) and significance (contribution/purpose).
Joy: I was introduced to PD 13 years ago (8 years into my teaching career). At the time, I was teaching in Rikers Island (a Jail just off Manhattan in NYC). When I say that PD saved my life I mean it. I was teaching felony criminals and I was the only teacher that didn’t have armed guards in her classroom. This was a risk but it was the only way I could establish an environment of mutual respect (connecting before correcting). I was also one of the only teachers that never had a fight break out in her classroom.
Kristina: I was hoping to become a mother and wanted to be the most effective parent I could be. Joy was a long-standing friend and colleague who introduced me to PD. I was already a coach and found that the PD philosophy not only prepared me for motherhood, but also served as a brilliant personal and professional development methodology. When Joy asked me to come onboard to write this book I jumped at the chance, as I believe my organizational training experience gave a valuable perspective to how to apply PD universally for a working parent.

What are the long-term consequences of our parenting choices?

Children are always making decisions about themselves (am I capable or not capable), about others (can I trust them or can I not trust them), about the world (is it safe or is it not safe), and about what they need to do (Can I thrive or just merely survive). From the moment they are born children are forming belief systems and it is these belief systems that they will base their decisions on as an adult. When we are able to use kind AND firm parenting skills, connect with our children to form secure attachments, and use encouragement and problem-solving methods instead of punishment and rewards, we will help them develop the life skills they need to flourish and thrive in the world.

Is Positive Discipline about the parent or the child?

Positive Discipline begins with “you” the parent. Too many parents think PD tools are meant to change the behavior of children–and they can. However, the “tools” are not effective unless parents model what they are trying to teach. For example, too many parents want their children to control their behavior when the parent doesn’t control his or her behavior. They want their children to be perfect, when they are not. And, they want their children to be kind and respectful when they are not.

Is there one overarching thing you would suggest parent’s focus on?

My favorite of all is connection BEFORE correction. If there is one “tool” that would help parents in every situation it’s to connect first. This can be done through validating the child’s feelings, getting down to their level and making eye contact, or even a hug. Then avoid all blame and shame and get your child involved in focusing on solutions

My Review

The book includes 5 parts, 17 chapters, a troubleshooting guide, and mistaken goal chart. All these tools to help parents positively discipline children. An index offers oodles of opportunities to look up issues you may be dealing with in your home, work, or school environment.

It is overwhelming how much parenting advice is out there. And most of it is so very wrong. I’ve overheard well-meaning people at church coach young moms to spank or smack their toddlers. I’ve heard them offer time-outs or “just you wait until we get home.”

Frazzled parents are desperate for answers and solutions for discipline that heals wounds – both theirs and the kids.

The choices we make with our kids matter. The way we speak and deal with difficulties in our families will stay with our kids as their inner voices.

What are the long-term consequences of our parenting choices?

I was raised harshly. I am still overcoming the consequences of my parents’ choices.

I wasn’t a proactive parent in the beginning. I was dealing with my own issues and baggage and that traveled over into my parenting. I did a lot of things wrong, said a lot of mean things, used nasty tones and facial expressions, and even spanked my two oldest daughters.

Thankfully, I found better methods for parenting and apologized to my girls. I did things differently with my third daughter and son.

Emotional intelligence is very important as parents so we can raise our children wisely, to make better choices, to break the cycles of poor parenting or even abuse.

I am healing and choosing gratitude and peace and it shows in all our relationships.

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Inspired Book Review

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August 2, 2018 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

Inspired: Slaying Giants, Walking on Water, and Loving the Bible Again by Rachel Held Evans, is a spectacular book for the curious, seeking, injured…if you know and love the Bible or not.

Intelligent but approachable, this book regales well-known Biblical stories and deconstructs them for today’s doubting audiences. We don’t have to dismiss the hard topics. We can embrace them in all their complexity. God can handle our doubt and questions.

I remember my discomfort about some of the Bible stories and issues, but was silenced and never allowed to ask questions. My grandma was gentle with me and explained as best she could. My Bible thumping born again classmates in high school and college couldn’t discuss anything. They were blank-eyed zombies for Jesus. When I tried church after church and denomination after denomination as a young adult, I found that questions were unwanted and I was not befriended.

I’m highlighting all the quotes from Biblical scholars for later research.

Yeah, I’ve been exposed to so much new stuff lately. I guess I wasted all my time in college reading Shakespeare and such. I only took one ancient philosophy class and no religion. I’m making up for it now.

The book is divided into eight sections, each with a little diary synopsis of a Biblical character and then an explanation and various experiences about those stories:

Origin Stories
Deliverance Stories
War Stories
Wisdom Stories
Resistance Stories
Gospel Stories
Fish Stories
Church Stories

This is a great book for a women’s group, college age young adults, or anyone seeking answers.

About the Book:

If the Bible isn’t a science book or an instruction manual, then what is it? What do people mean when they say the Bible is inspired? When Rachel Held Evans found herself asking these questions, she began a quest to better understand what the Bible is and how it is meant to be read. What she discovered changed her–and it will change you too.
Drawing on the best in recent scholarship and using her well-honed literary expertise, Evans examines some of our favorite Bible stories and possible interpretations, retelling them through memoir, original poetry, short stories, soliloquies, and even a short screenplay. Undaunted by the Bible’s most difficult passages, Evans wrestles through the process of doubting, imagining, and debating Scripture’s mysteries. The Bible, she discovers, is not a static work but is a living, breathing, captivating, and confounding book that is able to equip us to join God’s loving and redemptive work in the world.

About the Author:

Rachel is an author from the small town of Dayton, Tennessee – home of the famous Scopes Monkey Trial of 1925.
Rachel Held Evans is a New York Times bestselling author who writes about faith, doubt, and life in the Bible Belt.

Rachel has been featured in the Washington Post, The Guardian, Christianity Today, Slate, the Huffington Post, and the CNN Belief Blog, and on NPR, BBC, Today, and The View. She served on President Obama’s Advisory Council on Faith-Based and Neighborhood Partnerships, and keeps a busy schedule speaking at churches, conferences, and universities around the country.

Rachel is married to Dan and they have two young children. A lifelong Alabama Crimson Tide fan, Rachel’s preferred writing fuel is animal crackers and red wine.

Her website is https://rachelheldevans.com

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