Jennifer Lambert

A Sacred Balance

Visit Us On FacebookVisit Us On PinterestVisit Us On InstagramVisit Us On Linkedin

What Are You Putting In Your Body?

This blog may contain affiliate links: disclosure.
Please see my suggested resources.

By 1 Comment

Recently, a member of our church passed away due to Paracetamol toxicity.

My uncle also died from complications with OTC pain relievers.

Do you know what that scary-sounding condition is?

Paracetamol toxicity is a lethal buildup of acetominophen (Tylenol is a brand name we all know) in the body.

Paracetamol, acetaminophen, or APAP, chemically named N-acetyl-p-aminophenol, is a widely used over-the-counter analgesic (pain reliever) and antipyretic (fever reducer).

Do you have a bottle in your cabinet right now?

Too many of us live in constant pain, and in a desperate desire to alleviate the soreness, aches, and function, we often turn to cheap and easy OTC meds to block the symptoms.

His body could take no more and he collapsed and was then rushed to the hospital. He spent about a week in ICU, in a coma.

Our church prayed and visited and played music for him in his hospital room, while he was attached to a respirator and wires and tubes, in futile attempts to save his life.

A few days ago, he awoke and everyone thought it was a turn for the better, an answer to prayer. But, it was just a an opportunity for loved ones to say goodbye.

His liver and kidneys shut down. The toxicity levels were so high he experienced irreversible brain damage.

He has two teen daughters.

From major medical websites: “Acetaminophen is used in all stages of pregnancy and is the drug of choice for fever and minor pain in pregnant women. Acetaminophen is excreted in breast milk in small quantities. However, acetaminophen use by the nursing mother appears to be safe. The most serious side effect is liver damage due to large doses, chronic use or concomitant use with alcohol or other drugs that also damage the liver.”

There is a study that links ADHD to use of Acetaminophen during pregnancy.

Drugs are telling lies to your body. God doesn’t stir us up into confusion; he brings us into harmony. 1 Corinthians 14:33

Drugs are major cause of serious illness because they confuse the body’s 100 trillion cells so they cannot work in harmony and health any longer. p.46 Healing Oils of the Bible by David Stewart, Ph.D.

It could’ve been me.

Last week, I spoke to our church women’s ministry about essential oils.

It was God’s timing. Many of the women in attendance had never thought about the medicines they take daily.

God moved in that room as I spoke about the dangers of modern medicine and how we’ve moved away from welcoming God and asking for His help for healing. We turn too often to man’s medicines.

After our oils class, I was asked specific questions about how we use oils for this or that. Aaron and I were able to give our testimonies about how we use the oils for our family. We don’t use OTC or prescription medicines and we only use natural cleaners in our home. We also take many natural supplements and eat real foods.

The other day, while purging in preparation for our move, I threw out all the medicines in our cabinet. It took me a year to get to that point.

How much money is all that worth?

I used to give those things to my children without a thought. I followed the dosage on the box or bottle and never prayed. I assumed there was no other way than to treat my kids’ symptoms.

Most of us have been brought up to trust doctors implicitly and to take medicines prescribed without question.

Pharmaceuticals are designed to block receptors and pass false information to your cells to trick your body into giving up symptoms. “Opposing symptoms” is what “allopathic” means. Symptoms are messengers to get our attention so we can deal with the problem. Allopaths mistake the messenger for the problem.

It’s the old adage: “No one loves the messenger who brings bad news.”

While I understand there are times when God uses doctors and modern medicines to help and heal, I think we too quickly jump over God’s guidance and immediately trust a doctor’s worldly wisdom without even allowing God into the equation or asking for a second opinion.

Please be aware what you are putting into your body. Know what you’re giving your children and why and monitor dosage.

This tragedy could have and should have been avoided.

Share
Pin12
Share
12 Shares
You might also like:

Resources for Body Pain

This blog may contain affiliate links: disclosure.
Please see my suggested resources.

By Leave a Comment

I have friends and many acquaintances who suffer from Chronic Body Pain.

I don’t like it nor do I think it has to be that way.

Do you struggle with body pain?

Body Pain Remedy | https://www.jenniferalambert.com/

There are many pain remedies for different kinds. This particular remedy in the image above and the books listed below offer help, support, and solutions for chronic body pain issues.

Natural remedies that may help with pain management:

  • essential oils: Pine, Lavender, Fir, Frankincense, Myrrh, Sandalwood, Peppermint, Wintergreen, Chamomile
  • staying hydrated
  • magnesium spray or supplements
  • exercising (I know! who feels like it when you hurt?)
  • eating well (we like eMeals for simple meal planning!)
  • sleeping well
  • balancing hormones (I recommend this book to help with any hormones issues)
  • know your pain triggers and how to prevent them (check out Diagnose Yourself)
  • chiropractic care

Typically, a whole lifestyle overhaul is needed to manage this kind of pain. I know we want instant relief! These remedies will help while your body heals itself.

 

I highly recommend this book for managing body pain:

Check out this lovely devotional 21 Days to Finding Purpose in the Pain by my friend, Stacy.


Check out Dr. Purser’s other books:

References:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22517298

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23196150

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/7954745

http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0306987714003077

These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.

Share
Pin2K
Share
2K Shares
You might also like:

Better Sleep

This blog may contain affiliate links: disclosure.
Please see my suggested resources.

By 5 Comments

Lately, I have been having trouble sleeping.

Whether it’s the weather, stress, too much caffeine and not enough water, or a combination of poor lifestyle choices, I have been having trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, and sleeping soundly.

I’m not waking up refreshed, ready for my busy days homeschooling my kids, blogging, teaching about essential oils, and doing VA work.

If I’m not at my best, I make mistakes. I loathe making mistakes.

I need to sleep well.

My kids also need to sleep well.

I make sure they get enough rest. If we have a rare late night, I don’t get them up early in the morning. Homeschooling can wait.

We eat well – whole foods with very little processing. We drink lots of water. We take vitamins and supplements like cod liver oil.

I encourage my kids to get plenty of exercise and outdoors time.

We pray the bad dreams away. I monitor their screen time and reading materials. We talk about things that cause anxiety and we use oils to help! My kids have freedom to try oils and are learning their uses.

9 Types of Rest

  1. time away
  2. permission to not be helpful
  3. something ‘“unproductive”
  4. connection to art and nature
  5. solitude to recharge
  6. a break from responsibility
  7. stillness to decompress
  8. safe space
  9. alone time at home
Sleep Remedies and Lifestyle Changes

Sleep is a Super Important Part of Health!

Want some numbers? Sleep is so important and we’ll pay to get it. But wouldn’t it be better to get to the root of the problem rather than treating it as a symptom?

  • It is estimated that Americans spend $14 billion dollars, every year, on sleep disorders!
  • 30% of adults experience symptoms of insomnia a few nights or more per week
  • Approximately 40 million people in the US have a chronic sleep disorder
  • 35% of adults report at least one symptom of insomnia every night or almost every night
  • It is estimated that sleep orders cost employers $18 billion (wow!) in lost productivity

Nearly a third of Americans are getting inadequate sleep — including police offices, healthcare workers and truck drivers —  and it is getting worse with every passing year, says a new study from Ball State University.

“Short Sleep Duration in Working American Adults,” an analysis of more than 150,000 working adults from 2010 to 2018, found that prevalence of inadequate sleep — 7 hours or less — increased from 30.9% of respondents in 2010 to 35.6% in 2018. The study was posted Monday by the Journal of Community Health.

The study also found that the people who report getting the fewest hours of shut-eye include native born Americans, who are female, have children at home, work for the government, and live in the South.

“Inadequate sleep is associated with mild to severe physical and mental health problems, injury, loss of productivity, and premature mortality,” said Jagdish Khubchandani, lead author and a health science professor at Ball State. “This is a significant finding because the U.S. is currently witnessing high rates of chronic diseases across all ages, and many of these diseases are related to sleep problems.”

The study found that in 2018, professions with the highest levels of poor sleep including those in the police and military (50%), health care support occupations (45%), transport and material moving (41%), and production occupations (41%).

“There is no definitive cause found for these trends in sleep duration in working American population,” Khubchandani said. “We see the workplace is changing as Americans work longer hours, and there is greater access and use of technology and electronic devices, which tend to keep people up at night. Add to this the progressive escalation in workplace stress in the United States, and the rising prevalence of multiple chronic conditions could be related to short sleep duration in working American adults.”

The study also found:

  • For men, about 30.5% reported getting 7 or less hours of sleep in 2010 and by 2018 about 35.5% reporting inadequate sleep.
  • Among women, those reported too little sleep grew from 31.2% in 2011 to 35.8% in 2018.
  • By race and inadequate sleep prevalence, the trend from 2010-2018 was 29.2 to 34.1% for whites, 40.6 to 46.5% for African-Americans, 29.5 to 35.3% for Asians, and 35.2 to 45.2% for multiracial adults.
  • From 2010 to 2018, the largest increases in sleep deprivation were reported by men, multiracial individuals, older adults, those living in the western U.S., and widowed, divorced, or separated people.

Some lifestyle changes to help with sleep:

Mornings:

Fresh air, sunshine, and exercise help us sleep better.

Get sunshine first thing in the morning to help set your circadian rhythm. It’s been so dreary, cold, and snowy the last couple months that we haven’t been outside much. We’ve been loving the meltdown of snow this week and the warm sunshine and we’re taking advantage!

I also love my happy lamp. I also feel better once I can start playing in the dirt and running barefoot in the yard again.

I limit my caffeine intake and never have any after mid-afternoon.

Evenings:

I try to eat dinner at a reasonable hour. We’ve limited our out-of-house experiences in the evenings so we try to eat a home-cooked, healthy dinner at home about 6-7 PM (We’ve been using eMeals and loving it!) and spend time together playing quietly afterward. Eating late disrupts sleep patterns.

We sometimes take a family walk outside after dinner if it’s not too dark.

I try to limit my screen time in the evenings. I need time to wind down before sleep. Even reading on my Kindle app isn’t the best, so I try to read a real book. There are these blue light blocking glasses, but I haven’t tried those yet.

Just like the kids need a bedtime routine, so should I. No late nights working or I don’t sleep enough or well and my days aren’t successful. A warm bath or shower, prayer and Bible time, story time with my babes helps my body to slow down and get ready for rest. 

Slow breathing and gentle stretching exercises before bedtime helps sometimes too.

We limit and combat stress with slowing down and resting, and taking extra vitamins and antioxidants when it’s a rough season. I often drink chamomile tea before bed.

If our schedule is terribly disrupted, like during PCS or travel, we add a little melatonin until we are at rights again, no more than a few days. 

I also recently started using magnesium spray a few nights each week. It helps sleep and bowels. It tingles! 

Our kids and I love putting a dab of of essential oils blends before bedtime.

Sleep disorders

Insomnia is when you have difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep throughout the night.

Restless Legs Syndrome, also called Willis-Ekbom disease, causes an uncomfortable sensation and an urge to move the legs while you try to fall asleep.

Narcolepsy is a condition characterized by extreme sleepiness during the day and falling asleep suddenly during the day.

Obstructive sleep apnea occurs when a blocked airway prevents the body from getting the oxygen it needs. Breathing can stop for several seconds numerous times during the night.

4 side effects of sleep apnea:

Depression

Depression is linked with OSA and works both ways. “That is, people who are depressed are more likely to develop OSA, and people with OSA are more likely to develop depression,” Dr. Lynn Lipskis says. “One study found that slightly less than half of people with OSA showed depressive symptoms. This is not so surprising, considering that restful sleep is so important for physical and mental health.”

Chronic pain

As with depression, chronic pain may be a cause of, or may be caused by, OSA. A study found that over half the people with OSA had chronic widespread pain and that the risk was higher in women than in men.

Hormone disruption

Sleep is a critical time for the body to regulate hormones. “An important one to note is the growth hormone HGH, which is produced during Stage 3 sleep,” Lipskis says. “It helps with cell reproduction, cell regeneration, and metabolism. If Stage III sleep is cut short, or never reached, HGH can’t perform its job. So rather than repairing itself during sleep, the body continues to break down.”

Nocturia

This is the frequent need to urinate at night. “People with OSA are more likely to get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom,” Dr. Edmund Lipskis says. “That’s because it affects the release of antidiuretic hormone (ADH), which prevents fluid from filling the bladder and prevents the need to urinate during the night. When ADH can’t do what it’s supposed to, the bladder fills and the urge to urinate appears. This is yet another way that OSA disturbs proper bodily functions and compounds disordered sleep.”

If you suffer from OSA or suspect you do, have a sleep study done, which includes a diagnosis by a medical physician.

Do you have trouble sleeping? What have you found helps?

Resources:

  • How to Sleep Well: The Science of Sleeping Smarter, Living Better and Being Productive by Neil Stanley  
  • The Sleep Solution: Why Your Sleep is Broken and How to Fix It by W. Chris Winter, M.D.
  • Why We Can’t Sleep: Women’s New Midlife Crisis by Ada Calhoun
  • Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams by Matthew Walker 
Share
Pin31
Share
31 Shares
You might also like:

Cleaning Laminate Flooring

This blog may contain affiliate links: disclosure.
Please see my suggested resources.

By Leave a Comment

Did you know laminate flooring comes in wood or tile/stone? I love the looks and ease of it. When we buy a house after the Air Force has finished moving us around, I will look into this!

How to Clean Laminate Floors

Laminate flooring is extremely popular in today’s décor world, and for many good reasons! Not only is laminate flooring a beautiful and less expensive alternative to hardwood flooring, but laminate flooring is also extremely durable and easy to maintain. It is always recommended to check your manufacturer recommendations before using cleaners on your laminate floor.

Below are a few helpful tips to keep your laminate flooring beautiful and shining:

  • Avoid soap based detergents.
  • Avoid “mop and shine” products, as they can dull the film on your laminate flooring, causing permanent damage.
  • Never use abrasive cleaners or any material that can scratch your floor.
  • Never use wax or polish on your laminate floor.
  • You can vacuum your laminate flooring with the wand attachment.
  • Regular cleaning with a dust mop is highly recommended.
  • Spills should be wiped up immediately with a cloth or sponge.
  • Damp cloths and mops can be used, but it’s important to not over saturate your floor.
  • Use only recommended laminate floor cleaning products.

Laminate flooring is a great addition to any home, and can last a lifetime with very little maintenance. If you’re considering installing laminate flooring, consider visiting your local Flooring America and speaking to their flooring professionals.

I love to clean my floors with my spray mop and its Velcro pad using warm water and essential oils such as Thieves or Citrus.

Share
Pin
Share
0 Shares
You might also like:

Cast Iron Cookware

This blog may contain affiliate links: disclosure.
Please see my suggested resources.

By

Cast iron cookware used to be more popular than is it today.

The cast iron from a generation ago was lighter and smoother than what we can find today. It was cast with a different quality of iron.

eBay has some lovely vintage options: Griswold, Wagner, and fun shaped roll pans. The prices are high, but worth it if you don’t have any handmedowns. Thrift stores and yard sales are also good options.

Somehow, cast iron lost popularity. Maybe because it’s bulky and heavy. Also, not dishwasher friendly. It’s ok to use water, but not soap. There are even chains and scrubbies specific for cleaning and seasoning.

Cast iron is an investment compared to some cookware at big box stores that’s cute and pretty, but needs to be replaced often.

Maybe it needs more storage space?

Cast iron has lots of great benefits and we should use it more often.

Why use cast iron?

  1. Generally inexpensive for long lasting cookware.
  2. Cast-iron skillets conduct heat very well and can go from stovetop to oven with no problems.
  3. They last for a really long time.
  4. A well-seasoned cast-iron pan is virtually nonstick so you need very little oil to cook.
  5. They get and stay really hot which is great for searing.
  6. You can avoid the harmful chemicals found in most nonstick pans.
  7. It can leach some iron into your food, and that’s a good thing.
  8. Cleaning is easy. Keep them seasoned with oil. Use boiling water to clean and never use soap or wash in dishwasher!

I can’t wait for the weather to break so we can go camping! We’re learning how to bake in cast iron dutch ovens.

What’s your favorite cast iron item?

I really, really want the iron wok!

A favorite is Lodge Cast Iron.

Here are some we love:

A Dutch Oven

Great for stews and pot roast and baking sourdough

A Grill Pan

Versatile for grilling breakfast meats or steak!

The Classic Skillet

Great for everyday uses from eggs to frying chicken.

Bakers Skillet

Perfect for biscuits and cornbread

There are fun specialty items like woks and pizza pans too!

Share
Pin67
Share
67 Shares
You might also like:

Fitness Club

This blog may contain affiliate links: disclosure.
Please see my suggested resources.

By 1 Comment

I’ve joined a fitness club on base and since the schools were on fall break, the trainer asked us to bring our kids.

They loved it!

Here’s what we did:

family-workout list

Butt shots of the bear walk. It was fun!

bear walk

Tori did cartwheels all the way down the field.

cartwheels.jpg

Tori and Kate did forward rolls down the field.

rolling.jpg

Alex did rolls up and down the field a few times instead of following directions.

rolls.jpg

Katie crab walking

crab walking.jpg

Getting ready for frog jumping

frog jumping.jpg

Kate was pretty worn out about halfway through

worn out

The girls took turns being the wheelbarrow. Alex was my wheelbarrow. He’s strong!

wheelbarrow

The fireman carry. Alex was giddy! He loved it.

fireman-carry

Here’s our group (minus Alex, who was just so done)

Family-Fitness-2.png

Here’s our group being silly!

Family-Fitness.png

I told the kids to thank the teacher. Here’s when they jumped on my friend.

jump

We’re competing in the Family Time Fitness 90 Day Challenge.

Share
Pin1
Share
1 Shares
You might also like:

Back to School with Essential Oils

This blog may contain affiliate links: disclosure.
Please see my suggested resources.

By Leave a Comment

School can be a stressful or anxious time for students of all ages.

Aromatherapy is a powerful tool that students can use at school and when they study.

Back to School with Essential Oils | https://www.jenniferalambert.com/

Whatever your child’s school situation, be prepared with essential oils!

We are blessed to homeschool, and I can use oils in our home all day long! I diffuse essential oils and massage diluted topical oils as needed to myself and my children throughout our day. We manage our mood and health with essential oils. And we like citrus blends to diffuse away kitchen or science experiment smells!

When I attended an oil convention, one of the presenters mentioned that some school nurses allow and can dispense essential oils just like prescription meds. If children go to the office to take OTC or prescription meds during the day, then your child should be able go to the office periodically for aromatherapy purposes. Get notes from your natural health provider or physician. Talk to your school administrators!

Oiling kids up before bed is a great wind-down routine. We include it with prayers and storytime.

On a side note, have your family members tested for vitamin B and D deficiency to ensure optimal brain health. Often deficiencies in these important vitamins mimic depression and anxiety symptoms.

Read articles about vitamin D deficiency.

And read this article: The ADHD Scam and the Mass Drugging of Schoolchildren

Diffusers and aromatherapy jewelry make great teacher gifts!

There are multiple ways to use Essential Oils in a school environment.

Here are some of our oily methods we use with our children.

Staying Calm

Whether it’s test time or just a busy, crowded schedule, kids often experience more anxiety and stress than we did while attending school. Be prepared to help your children with a healthy natural diet, prayer, boundaries, gentle guidance, plenty of sleep, and essential oils. Lavender is great to promote restful sleep, calmness, and even healthy skin.

Staying Healthy

Many of my friends whose children attend school worry so much those first few weeks when they’re exposed to all sorts of illnesses.

Boost those immune systems and shorten the lifespan of those viruses and bacteria!

We like oregano, lemongrass, and Thieves blend.

Maintaining Energy and Attention

We all get run-down and worn out. Some of us are affected more easily than others. Help your kids be at their best with a healthy whole foods diet, nutritional supplements, clean water, and essential oils!

Many essential oils can help with focus, attention, and brain balance.

Citrus oils can help relax and smell so refreshing. Orange is my son’s favorite! We have lots of favorite blends we diffuse or anoint.

Some studies suggest essential oils can help fidgety children combined with an improved natural diet. When we changed our diet, we noticed significant positive changes in behavior and attention. We also take cod liver oil daily.

Jewelry

There are lots of aromatherapy accessories and jewelry like bracelets and necklaces that can help kids while being stylish and unique.

Some books that help us:

Do you use essential oils for your school children? What are your favorites?

Share
Pin12
Share
12 Shares
You might also like:

Essential Oils for Growing Pains

This blog may contain affiliate links: disclosure.
Please see my suggested resources.

By 25 Comments

My tween daughter had some growing pains lately. It became very uncomfortable.

Her mobility was poor and it resulted in very tight tendons and muscles.

eldest daughter

Here’s my eldest daughter 10 months ago. She’s 12.5 years old.

I’ve been using essential oils on her since January.

We first became concerned about her a year or so ago. She walked on her toes and said her feet and legs hurt. She was unable to place her heels on the floor.

I got her new shoes, in the correct size. She hadn’t told me for several months that her boots were too small. She loved those boots that much. I felt like a bad mom.

It didn’t completely help the problem.

So, we took her to the doctor. And another. And then a specialist.

Some doctors said she needed surgery on her legs.

Her tendons were too tight. She had hammer toes. Her spinal column was too short. Her ankles were weak. She needed pins in her ankles to straighten and strengthen.

They all said different, scary things, but they all wanted surgery.

What we did instead of surgery:

We bought her yet another pair of shoes – expensive, super stiff-soled walking shoes with rigid ankle brace inserts.

We did yoga. Pi-yo. The whole family encouraged, helped, participated. All the other kids wanted to do stretches too. It was great.

She wasn’t very successful at running track last season because she was almost in tears after practices and therefore didn’t do well in the races. She was in constant pain.

So we went the physical therapy route for a while, last spring and summer. It helped some. They ended our sessions with the comment that she wasn’t progressing because she feared pain, even though she wasn’t experiencing it any more. They had done all they could for her.

It seemed strange that she could run barefoot through the yard just fine.

I think she was improving, but when she thought about it, that fear of pain came back. When she didn’t think, she walked and ran fine.

We let it drop for a while since she wasn’t complaining of pain.

Absence of pain isn’t always the best answer.

Then, I noticed that she seemed to be getting worse again, instead of better. She still walked up on her tippy toes and cried that it hurt to place her feet flat on the floor.

I still remind her nightly to do her stretches, assigned to her by the PT. We do yoga most mornings and more stretches. I encouraged her to walk barefoot in the house and yard, reminding her that it’s heel to toe, and even to stomp, if it helps.

A real miracle at work has been the essential oils. I massage her legs and spine with the oils. We begin and end with a wonderful essential oil blend (it’s been called “chiropractor in a bottle”). It’s supposed to help her body naturally realign the spine and nerves. Basil, Wintergreen, Cypress, Marjoram, Oregano, Peppermint, Thyme, and a few other oils and blends are helping manage her leg pain.

And I pray over her.

Every night. Every morning. Multiple times per day. For physical as well as spiritual and mental healing.

When it became possible in our budget, my husband took her to his chiropractor. He also uses essential oils in his practice and is very into natural methods.

The chiropractor “turned on” all her core muscles. They were all nonfunctioning! That certainly was much of the problem. Only five sessions were needed to get everything working properly. He affirmed that she should continue to do the stretches prescribed by her PT. Now I know she’s really on the road to recovery.

And she is now in Civil Air Patrol – with all the marching and standing at attention, it’s all coming together and her posture is much improved. She passed both her physical training tests last month, running 1.5 miles well under the necessary time, along with many sit ups and push ups.

No pain. The combat boots help her stand straight with her heels down. And the good peer pressure to conform to the squadron helps her to try harder to stand at attention well.

Here she is on Easter morning. Her posture is so much better than it was!

Essential oils for growing pains

I am so thankful that surgery wasn’t necessary.

I just felt in my heart that we should look to alternative medicine to heal and her growing body would adjust itself with time and therapy.

We’re still praying. Still doing stretches, still monitoring and still massaging with essential oils.

Still encouraging her and thanking God that there’s been no need for surgery.

Share
Pin4
Share
4 Shares
You might also like:

I Attempted Suicide

This blog may contain affiliate links: disclosure.
Please see my suggested resources.

By 27 Comments

I am a survivor of an attempted suicide.

I am a survivor of attempted suicide.

I spent Christmas 1997 in a series of hospital environments because I attempted to commit suicide.

Essentially, I was locked up for my own safety for over a week.

I had reached a breaking point.

Circumstances beyond my control, that were not my fault, wreaked havoc on my sensitive heart, mind, and soul. I have always felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. I want to help everyone, fix everything.

I was twenty years old.

The world was not my responsibility.

My parents were not my responsibility.

Friends were not my responsibility.

I should’ve been carefree and fancy free and my biggest worry should have been only my next semester classes at college. And they weren’t strenuous. I was in my last year.

My parents weren’t divorced. They fought. They were stressed. But they were together.

There were no drugs or abuse stories. Nothing exciting or tawdry there. No soap opera.

Normal boring middle class white kid with a brilliant future ahead of her.

Sure, there was that whole lack of trust, angst, misunderstood thing. First world problems. I should have occupied my time with meaningful activities. I wonder if that would have helped or just delayed the inevitable.

So, why? you’re probably asking. I’m hoping everyone who reads this will wonder and cannot relate. I hope and pray you never reach a breaking point like I did.

Depression and anxiety are very real. And in the midst of it, thinking clearly is seldom an option. Depression sucks the life and hope from your soul. Anxiety is all-encompassing and there is no rationale for those fears and worries. And I was not a Christian then.

I was lost.

In so many ways.

I felt abandoned. I felt stifled.

Helpless. Hopeless. Pointless. Worthless. Less than.

I was right where the devil wanted me.

I don’t feel I need to go into too many details. A bottle of pills. An ambulance. Lots of scary lights and loud voices.

Fear. So much fear. And I gave in to it.

It was a close call. It was a cry for help. I didn’t really receive the kind of help I thought I wanted at the time. My body was saved. The doctors said it was a miracle I didn’t damage any organs. I was perfectly fine after the drugs were removed from my system.

But it would be many years yet before my mind and soul would be fine.

I had to walk down that road. I had to be completely broken to accept true healing.

Essentially, I know God saved me. For a purpose. I didn’t realize anything then.

I really just wanted the pain to stop. It just hurt to be alive. It hurt to see others hurting themselves and each other. It hurt me to witness that. Since I couldn’t stop it, I wanted out. Like gasping for air, or clawing out of a hole, I just wanted freedom.

That kind of freedom isn’t escape. It’s bondage. When we believe those dark lies and spiral down into the pit of despair, it’s not escape. It’s fear. It’s ragged hopelessness that it will ever improve. And being oh, so alone in it.

Only Jesus is Freedom. But I couldn’t accept that yet.

But too many Christians are depressed and are not finding the help they seek within the Church or compassion from Christians. Why is that?

When I search online for depression and Christians, all the articles are shallow and unhelpful. They preach that Christians shouldn’t experience mental health problems because we believe in Jesus! Our experiences are discounted, unvalidated, and we feel even worse, so we shut up those feelings even more inside. We hurt in silence, alone.

Did you know that after a suicide attempt, you are locked up against your will for your own safety? It’s the law.

It felt like more punishment.

I experienced a couple weeks of in-house therapy and meds after my attempt. I lost almost ten pounds and I was only about 125 then! The other patients frightened me too. They seemed really quite ill in a different way than I felt I was. Many had attempted suicide multiple times and had lots of other issues. They were all so kind. I felt so out of place.

The therapists, of course, were not Christian. They were very New Age and humanistic. I got so many mixed messages about following my dreams no matter the cost to others. Please myself and let others go. Grow up and take responsibility for my actions. I was right and everything else was wrong. I was too young and inexperienced and just a lost little girl who needed her parents to guide her because I was too fragile to function on my own.

I think therapists just tell you what you want to hear. I didn’t know what to believe. The staff almost treated me like an adult, but then again, made me feel like a naughty little girl who disobeyed and rebelled against my attentive and loving parents. My parents were just mad at me.

Where was Jesus? He carried me, but I didn’t know.

Where was compassion or any real help? Where was the empathy?

No one understood.

I was eventually released. Too soon. Too little gained. So much lost.

Back to my parents’ house. Where I felt like was a little child again. They tiptoed around me, walking on eggshells, quiet and fearful. Where many rules were enforced and reinforced. No social activity for me. I felt like I was on restriction for a misbehavior. It was surreal.

I had no autonomy. I couldn’t individuate. I couldn’t grow or function normally.

I was medicated on Prozac, that go-to drug at that time, before other, somewhat safer alternatives were known or appreciated.

I did not function well on Prozac. The side effects were horrible. I felt so out of control with overwhelming emotions all the time. One of the weirdest things is that I would sleep exactly eight hours to the minute each night. Physically, I felt great.

I was still lost.

I had nothing to do while I waited for school to start again. No job. No friends. I was an embarrassment. To my family, friends. To myself.

Shortly after returning home, my mom took me to the mall. Retail therapy, I suppose. At the ice cream shop, I waited patiently for the clerk to finish cleaning up something so I could order a cone. Another lady apparently needed an ice cream fix so badly that she rudely shouldered me out of the way to order. I glared at her in frustration. I had been obviously standing there a while and she just walked up! Inside, I really wanted to hurt her. I’ve always been rather passive, letting it go when things like that happen. It’s not worth it. It’s just easier to let it go than confront people over situations like that that don’t really matter. My mind wandered to how I wanted to confront her and I stood there, daydreaming I slapped her. My palm itched almost uncontrollably. I was shaking when I sat down at a table with my ice cream. I could hardly enjoy the treat. I was scared of myself. I was frightened by the level of my anger. Over something so meaningless. That I would ordinarily shrug off.

It was frightening. The memory is so vivid that it makes me sick to my stomach. My palms still itch when I remember.

After a month or so, my life really fell apart, because nothing was fixed. Nothing was different. Everyone wanted to pretend it all away. But that’s another story for another day.

I think the suicide of Rick Warren’s son is a wake-up call to Christians. That poor boy hurt so badly that he desired to leave this world. It was too much for him. The world wakes up again with Robin Williams’ death. Many celebrities recently have chosen to end their lives, leaving behind devastated spouses and precious children and sad fans. But everyone just wants to argue and be pompous or saddened while nothing changes and no one is compassionate and few are helped. There is no empathy.

It’s not for us to understand or judge. But I think we should help each other more. We should try harder to support one another through trials. I think a lot of depression and anxiety is spiritual warfare. How easy to confuse Christians with a fog of mental darkness. We’re blinded too easily. And have no one and nowhere to turn for help.

Depression is evil.

What can we do?

Pray.

Prayer is powerful to ward off evil forces. Pray for light and protection from evil. Pray for the body’s chemistries to be healed and aligned. Find a prayer partner or group. Pray that our children will not share in this legacy. It’s often not the endall beall to healing, but it’s a beginning. Ask friends, family members, your church to pray. I often journal scripture, poetry, and prayer. Meditation and contemplation is great too.

Read.

Read holy books out loud. Do a Bible concordance search. Many of the prophets suffered from depression. Get a good Bible study. Again, this is often not the only help depression needs to heal. But it’s a great start. Get an accountability partner. Ask your pastor or church leadership for help and prayer. If they scoff at your illness, find a new church. Self-help books are great places to start for answers. Sometimes, I like to read about the struggles of others or just a sappy book.

Fellowship.

I rarely feel like it. It takes a lot of effort for me to be around people and be social. But when I hole up away from people, that’s when the darkness likes to creep in. It’s worse to be alone with it. Connection matters.

Take care of yourself, physically.

When I don’t feel well, then my emotions run down too. Eat right. Exercise. Get out in the sunshine whenever possible. Drink water. Dance. Play with your kids. Take cod liver oil. Diffuse essential oils to help boost your mood. Get a Happy Lampfor those dark days of winter. I know it’s hard.

Occupy your mind.

If your mind has too much free time and it wanders to negative thoughts, occupy it. Write. Start a blog. Read a book. Take up a hobby like art or woodworking. Learn to play music. Do a puzzle. Play a game. Learn something along with your spouse or child, sibling, or friend. Volunteer with children or the elderly. Go to church. Exercise. Take a class. Feed the birds. Get a pet. Create arts and crafts. Do good.

Counseling.

I know there are good counselors out there. You can also turn to trusted friends or family members. It might be hard to open up and be honest with yourself and others. {Do you think writing this post was easy?} Let the Holy Spirit guide you. Don’t be afraid to say no after a meeting or two and find someone else. Some secular therapists might be better to meet your needs. Here’s a good guide and checklist to finding a therapist.

Medication.

I know some people’s bodies just need help leveling out. Like high blood pressure or high cholesterol, you may need meds for your serotonin and/or dopamine levels. (I have never found a med that I could cope with, but you may have great success.)

Depression and anxiety are real illnesses.

Don’t judge people who take a pill for depression because I know you don’t judge those who take a pill for diabetes. Some people need meds just occasionally. Others need it daily for an extended time. Find a physician who can work with you, a therapist, your family, your needs, to find the right combination for your needs. I’ve tried different meds and I didn’t like any of them with their side effects. But I respect those who do need them and find they help.

People have told me that they didn’t know I have issues with depression.

What do I say to that? Should I be glad that it doesn’t show? Should I be proud that I’ve hidden it well? It’s not something people often discuss in polite company. Most shy away from mental illness conversations. There’s a societal stigma that we’ve done something to deserve this or we should be able to “snap out of it.”

I often hear phrases like, “Just smile more. Just be happy. Just imagine you’re in your happy place. What do you have to be sad about?”

And people can experience short-term blues, sure.

That is not depression.

People who have never experienced mental illness can’t possibly understand.

Contact a suicide hotline for help.

Suicide is selfish. It’s a cry for help. It’s a last resort. It’s because we have no voice or feel like no one hears us. We’re so desperate that we have to be that selfish.

I hold on during my darkest days because I have responsibilties to my children and husband. I want to be there for their future.

As Christians, we often think that we can’t or shouldn’t feel that way, ever. How can we love and serve Jesus and still be depressed? But I often am. I know others struggle too. Maybe it’s just our fallen world. Perhaps it’s our thorn we must bear. Maybe some of us are more empathetic than others. We feel everything more.

I think it hurts even more now that I am a Christian. But Jesus helps me bear it, especially when other Christians disappoint or hurt me.

I feel more acutely aware of others’ pain. I think that’s seeing with the eyes of Jesus. And if I hurt like this, what must He feel?

And what can I do about it?

It helps to serve others and take action to ease another’s burden.

There’s always hope.

My friend, Amanda, tells it like it is. She’s not scared. I hope her book helps you like it helped me: Finding Joy in Depression.  I highly recommend it and there are some great resource links in it too.

More Help:

Note: I am not a doctor nor a therapist. These are just some methods that have helped me through the last ten years or so. Perhaps these resources can help others. If you feel hopeless, please tell someone immediately and seek professional help.

Share
Pin32
Share
32 Shares
You might also like:

Balancing Act

This blog may contain affiliate links: disclosure.
Please see my suggested resources.

By 3 Comments

I’ve been reading many posts lately from bloggy friends about their struggles with anger and depression.

Balancing Act

While my heart goes out to them, it’s so good to know that I’m not alone. I think it’s important for us to be transparent with our struggles so we can help each other through them. Online communities are great places for us to feel safe to reveal a part of ourselves without judgment. I think Jesus is blessing us through these Christian outreach programs. Moms need outlets and, seriously, who has the time or money to go to therapy? Or a spa?

While I would never confess to my Sunday school class the history or extent of my anger or depression issues, it seems more than ok to blog about it to the world. Are we that anonymous? I feel more love reaching out to me from strangers on the Interwebz than from real world acquaintances.

So, it’s time to get real, y’all.

While most people who know me in real life seem to think I have it all together, I know that I am just moments away from a total breakdown. The balancing act is so fragile that it takes all my efforts to maintain this façade of ease. I have battled depression since my childhood.

I could regale you with all sorts of sad tales of my miserable experiences at school, but I will suffice it to say that I had major anxiety that led to weekly migraines. I am absolutely socially inept. Being raised in the South, this was a nightmare for my socially adept mother. I just didn’t participate in social events. She still has not forgiven me for not attending senior prom.

Education became my escape. It was something I could lose myself in and not have to face reality. I wasted much time taking worthless college classes to postpone graduation. It was an idol. I was not a Christian.

When the inevitable graduation loomed, coupled with the abandonment of a boyfriend (an extremely unhealthy relationship), I attempted suicide.

God had plans for me. I should not have survived.

The resurrection of my life was slow and painful. My relationship with my parents was in shambles. The boyfriend was devastated and confused and regretful.

So we got married.

Misery.

That fear of reality? Oh yeah. Wham, in my face.

So I had a lovely worthless BA in English. I completed my M.Ed. I taught high school English.

We got divorced.

But I have my Elizabeth.

Jesus found me.

I lost five jobs in two years. Unprofessionalism. Anger issues. Relationship issues.

Church people betrayed me.

When I had virtually no prospects for my future, a mortgage, a car payment, a young daughter developing issues of her own…

God brought me Aaron.

And Aaron picked up the pieces. Just like the Humpty Dumpty nursery rhyme.

It’s so difficult for me to reconcile my past with my present.

My superiority complex means I hate myself more than you could ever…

Jesus forgives but I can never forget.

It took me a looooooong time to get comfortable with this whole stay at home mom thing. It really sucks sometimes that I have all this formal education and no one to whom to impart all this built up knowledge. I get frustrated that I seem to do the same drudgery each and every day with no appreciation. It seems like so little to impact the world. I feel so worthless.

My husband gets to bank blood from American soldiers to pump into wounded soldiers in Afghanistan. It may be hard to take seeing those poor people fight, but at least it’s something more than brainless domestic duties. He’s actively helping people and making a difference in the world.

At least I don’t hide in the closet anymore. God has seen me through terrible times. I am now able to look back at how I’ve grown. Aaron has loved me and saved me from myself. Both loved me before I loved myself. Both know that I am more than I was. Both are healing me.

But still I struggle. I forget. I stumble down that dark hallway. It gets so hard to find my way out again. I see the confused looks on my kids’ faces when I snap at them for no reason or break a promise because I don’t feel well enough or forget to plan a meal. It breaks my heart. I don’t want to be like this. Why does it have to be so difficult?

It shouldn’t be.

So, nowadays I struggle with seemingly silly stuff. (ooh, alliteration!)

I loathe doing dishes. I mean, even loading the dishwasher. It makes me feel all icky to get my hands greasy. It’s my least favorite chore. ew

I really don’t like pushing my two-year-old on the swing in the backyard. I hang my head in shame. I know that makes me the worst mommy ever. I’d really just rather read on the sofa and watch from the window.

I am not a crafter. Messy projects make me cringe. I wish I was more into art. In my head, it looks so appealing, but then I have to clean it all up. Again, the shame!

I struggle a great deal with menu planning and budgeting. I get great ideas. I get inspired (and disgusted) with all the great (and not so great) menu plans online. I don’t bother to post any of mine here because they usually fly out the window. I can stick with a menu for maybe a week. I just drew one up for October and it’s already fallen flat a couple times. We spend way too much money on food. We like to eat well and use all the best ingredients, but it’s getting ridiculous to have tenderloin with six mouths to feed. And bacon prices are going up? Guess we better buy some hogs and go into homesteading or something.

While this is mostly a homeschool blog, there’s only so much I can take with snapping pictures of my kids doing math or looking cute. Most of the time, we just do whatever it takes to get through the day. Again, the guilt sets in when I see all the great science experiments and arts projects all over the blog world. And, y’all, this is beyond the blog envy I recently read about in the blog world. I feel physically ill that I am not a good enough homeschool mama to my darlins because we don’t do all these fun activities.

I just get so overwhelmed sometimes. Attempting to figure how to balance everything: exercising, housework, frugal shopping, blogging, cooking, appearances, homeschooling, flossing. Am I the only one who stresses over flossing? I told my husband tonight that I should just complete all the reviews I have pending and delete the blog because I simply cannot do it all.

But I won’t.

I will wait until this season passes. I will take my vitamins and exercise and read God’s word. I will get through this. These seasons are getting shorter and better. Perhaps someday, they will cease to come at all.

More Articles to Help:

Share
Pin
Share
0 Shares
You might also like: