Introvert Holiday Survival Guide

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November 25, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert 10 Comments

The decorations are for sale in stores before Halloween and Christmas music blasts everywhere on or even before November 1.

Christmas in America is all about commercialism. It’s about rushing, doing, more. I kinda hate it.

As an introvert, I really do dread the holidays. They wear me out. I try to be bright and cheery for my kids, but I really would love to hibernate from Halloween until about Mid-March. I often wake up early or go to bed late just to get some alone time.

As a military family, we’ve seldom been near family to visit over the holidays. While in a way, this relieves me of the potential stress, it also makes me feel very, very guilty.

We visited my husband’s mom at Christmas the year after we married. I was worried about her since it was her first holiday alone since his dad had passed in April. Then she passed the following April, so I’m so glad we went.

I invited my parents to visit the kids and me last Christmas while my husband was deployed. They’re getting older and I worry how many more opportunities we will have. It was actually mostly pleasant.

What’s an introvert to do with all the expectations that come with the holidays?

Priority

Everyone has her favorite and least favorite aspects of holidays. What’s yours?

Discover your priority for the season.

Be mindful of what you’re doing, giving, having during the holidays.

Give to charity or volunteer. Try new recipes. Travel. Offer experiences instead of presents. Join a cookie or ornament swap.

Save money, time, and effort by forgoing card sending. It’s also more ethical and less wasteful. Send texts or social media greetings, or individual emails and online cards.

Take time to get outside in nature to unwind and think. There’s no bad weather, only bad clothing choices!

Make time for selfcare. I take a very hot Epsom salt bath almost every evening with chamomile or lavender tea. It really makes a difference.

The Thanksgiving holiday is rather a disappointment for me. We used to travel over the long weekend. We went to Prague and Porto and Venice.

We’ve traveled to Chicago and Maui and Rome over Christmas.

We’ve lived in so many different places as a military family that travel was a priority until the kids asked to stay home with a Christmas tree and home-cooked dinner.

Focus

Each year, I focus on something different.

We’ve traveled over holidays. That really eased up a lot of stress for me.

Some years, I really get into the Advent readings with my family.

Other years, I decorate all out. My front yard was a zoo last year with light up animals.

We often go to a local drive-through Christmas park to look at the decorations.

We went to see The Nutcracker ballet a couple years ago.

We try new recipes during the holidays, but not on the actual day in case of disappointment for tradition.

Tradition

I realize that I’m making memories for my kids.

What are your favorite memories of the holidays? Do that for yourself and your family.

It’s all about the food for us.

While I don’t make a lot of sweets, we really do love the fancy dinners.

I roast a turkey breast for Thanksgiving. I make the most wonderful herb sausage cornbread dressing. Two of my kids don’t like turkey so much. What is up with that?!

The kids get Advent calendars. Everyone gets chocolate. My son and husband share the Star Wars Lego. This year, the kids asked for Yu-Gi-Oh! My teen gets a bath bomb or makeup one.

We celebrate Saint Nicholas. We do stockings for St. Nick with chocolate orange candies and small gifts. This has relieved a lot of pressure for Christmas Eve and Day.

We celebrate Hanukkah with roast beef. When Hanukkah falls mid-December instead of during Christmas week, it’s extra special because it’s like we celebrate more and longer. I seldom can do eight nights of presents, but I try to make it special with a nice family gift.

We have prime rib and Irish ham for Christmas. My youngest daughter really loves the slow roasted ham.

With twice baked potatoes. They’re a favorite!

We also look forward to ham au gratin potatoes as leftovers!

I try to purchase my children an ornament each year so they will have a starter box of their very own Christmas when they grow up.

We almost always get new winter pajamas. And lots of books.

We read lots of holidays books and watch fun holiday movies every year.

We have a simple celebration for New Year’s.

Our holiday season ends with Epiphany.

Delegate

Trusting my kids is a huge part of sanity over the holidays.

While my husband has a panic attack when they carry his grandmother’s china dishes and my crystal butter dish to and from the dining table, I know they can handle it. They take great care with these items. And they’re just things. Someday, it will all be theirs.

My kids always wanted to help put up our artificial Christmas tree when they were very little. I think they considered it a fun puzzle with the colored branch tips.

Nowadays, I bring the big duct-taped box out of the cellar and let them have at it. They’re plenty old enough and do a great job putting it up and pulling it down to store away for another year. My husband and I usually string the lights. We all help sort and hang the ornaments.

The kids completely decorated the front of the house during deployment. It looked like a holiday zoo! I hardly had to help at all. They were amazing.

My middle daughter is quickly becoming self-proficient in the kitchen. She’s in charge of any potato dish. She also sets the table just lovely. I never have to check the placement of a fork or wine glass with her!

My husband is in charge of the prime rib. My son loves cooking meats – frying, grilling, all of it. He loves thermometers! He wants to work in a butcher shop when he’s older.

Let it go

I don’t go to holiday parties.

Most of my husband’s work obligations don’t include me anyway. Our street has an adults-only progressive dinner, but I’d rather spend time with my family than drunk overgrown frat boys. For unavoidable events where it’s important to make an appearance, know when and how to leave as early as possible without seeming rude.

We don’t go to church anymore. I kinda miss the advent readings and candle lighting and midnight singing. Years ago, the church we attended did a fun ladies ornament exchange. But I don’t miss the stress and drama at all.

I really hate shopping, even throughout the year. It’s not hard for me to say no to shopping in November and December. I shop online all year round. I save money with cash back apps. Giving experiences is better as my kids get older.

Declutter before the presents arrive so it’s less stress. One in, one out is our flexible rule. We don’t give lots, but try to limit presents to about four with this little poem.

We do a few gifts within our immediate family. No gifts for extended family. I don’t send cards. I absolutely don’t send braggy annual newsletters, not even on social media. This is all for my sanity and for ethical reasons.

What do you want your family to remember about the holidays?

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Linking up: Welcome Heart, Modest Mom, Anita Ojeda, Little Cottage, Mostly Blogging, Flour Me with Love, Kippi at Home, Uncommon Suburbia, April Harris, LouLou Girls, Home Stories, Confessions, Mary Geisen, MaryAndering Creatively, Our Home, Our Three Peas, Grandmas Ideas, Sarah Frazer, OMHGW, Worth Beyond Rubies, Soaring with Him, Wise Woman, Purposeful Faith, Anchored Abode, Grace for a Gypsy, InstaEncouragements, Ducks in a Row, Girlish Whims, Fluster Buster, Ginger Snap Crafts, Penny’s Passion, Marilyn’s Treats, Try it Like it, Apron Strings, Create with Joy,

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Holiday Blues

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November 18, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

With the holidays upon us it’s easy for us to get caught up in the rush of it all. While we may be cooking, shopping, and enjoying holiday events, there are others, many of whom are in our very own circles, having a tougher time.

Most holiday stress and anxiety come from:

Gifts
Expectations
Overwhelm

We can reduce our gift-giving and offer experiences or fewer things.

We can simplify our expectations and stop comparing and refuse to look at Pinterest.

We can say no to situations or things that are not priority.

5 Kinds of People Most Likely to Get the Holiday Blues and How to Help:

1. Divorced or widowed

Loss is a sad, life-changing event at any time of the year.

However, it tends to be harder when everyone around you is joyful celebrating the holidays and you feel it’s an effort to get out of bed.

If someone in your circles is going through a major loss and life transition, be supportive and understanding.

They are grieving and mourning and are especially sensitive around the holidays. It’s important that they feel included but don’t be offended if they choose to opt out of certain events.

Checking in and offering them the option to participate in whatever they want, when they want is a great way to help. Love them through it.

2. Entrepreneurs

The holidays could be stressful for small business owners because so much rides on the end of year.

They may be fretting over their profits (or lack thereof), the goals they didn’t reach, and the many things still to do.

They feel overwhelmed and when they are expected to shop, entertain and be present for their families, they may be short tempered and anxious.

The best way to help the busy entrepreneur is to make their life easier in any way possible. If they can’t make it to a family dinner, tell them your door is open for dessert. Oftentimes they feel guilty and obligated which only adds to their frustration.

Also consider that these worker-bees are conflicted. When they are working, they miss their families and when they are with family, they are thinking of work.

3. Caretakers

Adults who are caretakers to their chronically ill children, relatives, or elderly parents are incredibly overwhelmed and often overlooked.

As a caretaker, they always have to consider the well-being of their patient. They can’t just get up and go.

Caretakers may feel resentful, isolated and stuck during the holidays which leads to conflicted feelings of resentment and guilt. They also believe they have to be hands on managing everything.

It’s important to lighten the caretakers load by offering support even if it means asking them how they are doing.

Be patient and ask the caretaker what they need. It could be something as simple as having food delivered to their home to free up time for other tasks.

4. Recovering addicts

Recovering from addiction is hard. Period.

But it’s harder when holiday festivities are filled with friends and family drinking everything from spiked eggnog to champagne.

Understand that those in recovery from substance abuse are hyper-sensitive about being judged. They feel as if all eyes are on them and that pressure may trigger the desire to use drugs or alcohol to soothe their anxiety. When they aren’t fully recovered, they may anticipate possible “landmines” and avoid them. They may choose to stay to themselves and observe more and participate less. They might opt out of larger family gatherings that are too overwhelming.

Offer an open invitation and remind them they are welcome whenever they are ready.

Offer a safe celebration inclusive of all – with no temptation for alcohol, drugs, or gambling.

A balance of love, support, and acceptance is what they are in most need of.

5. Children of divorce

Divorce means two separate holidays at two different places and kids often feel overwhelmed having to double up.

It’s incredibly important for parents to agree civilly on where the kids are going during the holidays and all the logistical details.

Kids want to feel safe and secure. They don’t want to feel as if they are the expected to be rushed here and there because their parents chose to divorce.

It could be unsettling to younger kids and teens may isolate and rebel against any family events as they are sorting out their own emotions as they get used to a new normal.

Don’t burden kids with guilt trips or overdo it with presents to make up for the stress. Just be honest and supportive and loving.

You really want to establish a game plan for the holidays and if possible, stick to it every year.

The holidays can be a stressful time of year for many of us. It’s a time when we must be aware and extra kind to those on the fringes.

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Quotes from Dr. Sanam Hafeez, a NYC based licensed clinical psychologist, teaching faculty member at the prestigious Columbia University Teachers College and the founder and Clinical Director of Comprehensive Consultation Psychological Services.

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Emotional Health

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September 30, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert 9 Comments

I didn’t grow up with healthy emotions as a kid, and now as an adult, I’m having to relearn how to be healthy even if I’m not happy.

I grew up being told to smile and be pleasant all the time. There was no room, no patience for “negative emotions.”

There’s a big difference between accepting disappointment, anger, sorrow and having the freedom to express those feelings and lashing out in socially inappropriate ways.

Children need to feel safe with parents to express their entire spectrum of emotions.

The problem is that we as well-meaning parents and caregivers often attempt to intercept children on their journey through an emotional tunnel.

Emotions are just communication.

Tears are proof that emotions can be physical. Imagine what stuck emotions can do to your body when they have spent years without being released.

As parents, if we don’t have our emotions under control, how can we coach our kids to express themselves in healthy ways?

I’m convinced that when we help our children find healthy ways of dealing with their feelings-ways that don’t hurt them or anyone else-we’re helping to make our world a safer, better place.
Mr. Rogers

The emotionally intelligent person knows that love is a skill, not a feeling, and will require trust, vulnerability, generosity, humor, sexual understanding, and selective resignation. The emotionally intelligent person awards themselves the time to determine what gives their working life meaning and has the confidence and tenacity to try to find an accommodation between their inner priorities and the demands of the world. The emotionally intelligent person knows how to hope and be grateful, while remaining steadfast before the essentially tragic structure of existence. The emotionally intelligent person knows that they will only ever be mentally healthy in a few areas and at certain moments, but is committed to fathoming their inadequacies and warning others of them in good time, with apology and charm… There are few catastrophes, in our own lives or in those of nations, that do not ultimately have their origins in emotional ignorance.
Alain de Botton

5 Steps to Emotion Coaching

Be aware of your child’s emotions.
Recognize and use emotional moments as opportunities to connect and teach.
Help your child identify and verbally name emotions.
Respect your child’s feelings by taking time to listen carefully. Communicate empathy and understanding.
Explore solutions to problems together. Set reasonable limits.

Emotions can be inconvenient. It’s super important that we don’t project onto our kids that they are inconvenient. We need to take the time to work through the tough times. This is especially hard when we’re working through it ourselves.

What to say when we have big feelings:

It’s ok to let it out.
I’m here. I’m listening. I’m not leaving.
You can feel this, but you can’t act out this way.
Feelings don’t last forever. Sometimes, it feels like it!
Let’s take a breather.
You are good and kind. Everyone makes mistakes.
I’ll be right here waiting when you need me.
Let’s try that again.
What did we learn?
We can do better next time.

Obviously, we don’t use all these phrases every time. Use discretion and learn along with your child. We often work through frustrations and anger with our kids in these ways. We want to heal relationships. Reconciliation is the goal. Sometimes, there are no easy answers. Being human is complicated.

Holding space while allowing your child to release their emotions might sound like:
– I get it, it’s ok, let it out
– Yes I know, it’s so hard, show me how hard it is
– It looks like letting the tears flow while staying connected and present
– It looks like holding off on the breathing for a little bit and waiting before you come in with any calming techniques

Stress and anxiety determine resilience and vulnerability.

All of us deal with stress daily, but how we react is important.

We have used art, music, exercise, meditation, book and movie discussions, and Angry Birds printables to help us learn about and navigate difficult feelings.

For behavior, we need not worry that we condone or accept certain acts. We need to realize that we can accept and support emotions. Behaviors are often communication that we need to address.

I don’t have to like an emotion to allow it. I need to work through my triggers and discomforts to support my child.

It’s really a lot to be living and homeschooling every day in a house we share with 6 individuals.

We can all heal together.

Your true self is underneath all the emotions you don’t want to feel.

It’s important we learn how and teach our kids how to properly apologize.

I am breaking the cycle of silence and stifling emotions. Sometimes, it’s messy and really hard. Feelings sometimes suck. It’s important that my kids feel they’re safe to express the entire spectrum of emotions at home, around me, around each other.

Let feelings be.

I have to deal with my own issues in order to coach them well on theirs. I often fail, but I admit it and make amends. I start over, and over, and over.

We’re all learning how to be people.

My husband and I like this emotional needs questionnaire and discussed the relevant parts with our children so we can all better love and respect each other.

When the world feels like an emotional roller coaster, steady yourself with simple rituals. Do the dishes. Fold the laundry. Water the plants. Simplicity attracts wisdom.

Children need to feel free to express and trust their emotions and how to honor the emotional responses of others. These skills build a foundation for consent.

I think this series of books is excellent to help kids identify and deal with hard emotions:

We cannot selectively numb emotions, when we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.
Brené Brown

How introverts deal with stress and anxiety is different than how extroverts handle emotions. Often, it gets lost in translation.

Highly sensitive individuals are affected by their own and others’ emotions differently than many people.

Listen To Your Emotions…

Bitterness shows you where you need to heal, where you’re still holding judgments on others and yourself.

Resentment shows you where you’re living in the past and not allowing the present to be as it is.

Discomfort shows you that you need to pay attention right now to what is happening because you’re being given the opportunity to change, to do something different than you typically do it.

Anger shows you what you’re passionate about, where your boundaries are, and what you believe needs to change about the world.

Disappointment shows you that you tried for something, that you did not give in to apathy, that you still care.

Guilt shows you that you’re still living life in other people’s expectations of what you should do.

Shame shows you that you’re internalizing other people’s beliefs about who you should be (or who you are) and that you need to reconnect with yourself.

Anxiety shows you that you need to wake up, right now, and that you need to be present, that you’re stuck in the past and living in fear of the future.

Sadness shows you the depth of your feeling, the depth of your care for others and this world.

My goal:

“Are you happy?” “In all honesty? No. But I am curious – I am curious in my sadness, and I am curious in my joy. I am everseeking, everfeeling. I am in awe of the beautiful moments life gives us, and I am in awe of the difficult ones. I am transfixed by grief, by growth. It is all so stunning, so rich, and I will never convince myself that I cannot be somber, cannot be hurt, cannot be overjoyed. I want to feel it all – I don’t want to cover it up or numb it. So no, I am not happy. I am open, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
― Bianca Sparacino, Seeds Planted in Concrete

For grief, trauma, and other really strong negative emotions…

The only way out is through.

We have to embrace it all for true healing.

Of course, neurotypical children should be actively working on healthy emotions with their trusted and attached caregivers. For mental health issues, learning disabilities, autism and more, it’s much more complicated.

How do you deal with big emotions?

Linking up: Kingdom Bloggers, Welcome Heart, MaryAndering Creatively, Little Cottage, Create with Joy, Flour Me with Love, Kippi at Home, LouLou Girls, April Harris, Home Stories, Mary Geisen, InstaEncouragements, Purposeful Faith, Our Three Peas, Gingersnap Crafts, Penny’s Passion, Sarah Frazer, Apron Strings, Crystal Storms, Anchored Abode, Worth Beyond Rubies, Soaring with Him, Debbie Kitterman, CKK, TFT, Over the Moon, Imparting Grace, Welcome Heart, Mississippi Mom, My Life Abundant, Wise Woman, Grace for a Gypsy, Try it Like it, Quiet Homemaker, Answer is Choco, Simply Sweet Home, Della Devoted, Momfessionals, Grandma’s Ideas, Counting My Blessings, A Fireman’s Wife, Create with Joy, Pieced Pastimes, OMHG, Life with Lorelai, Pin Junkie, Being a Wordsmith, Mostly Blogging,

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Natural Dental Care

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February 4, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert 10 Comments

February is Dental Health Month!

I am so grateful that we receive regular dental checkups very affordably through the military.

It’s super important that we teach our kids about dental health.

Teeth are necessary for healthy digestion, and if we don’t take care of our mouths, it can lead to all sorts of other health issues.

We’ve had a great year with NO CAVITIES for our family of six. I’m happy to report that we’ve switched to all natural dental care and it’s made a huge difference.

{Have you ever read the ingredients on the back of your toothpaste or mouthwash?!}

How we maintain healthy teeth, gums, and mouths:

1. Regular Dental Care

We receive two checkups each year with X-rays, cleaning, and fluoride treatments through our insurance program.

We don’t agree with having fluoride in our water or oral care products, but twice a year, having our teeth “painted” while otherwise keeping fluoride out of our bodies otherwise is good for us.

Our kids have gone to dentists since they had their first teeth! This helps them not to be fearful.

Also, it’s really important to keep up with dental health while pregnant. My gums got very sensitive with all those hormones.

Teeth care is correlative to full body health.

2. Teaching Good Habits

We brush twice a day. We try to floss at least once a day.

When the kids are young, we supervise and help, modeling the proper way to brush and floss.

We learn about teeth and dental care in our homeschool and why it’s important to take care of even our baby teeth so we have strong, healthy adult teeth to last our whole lives.

Our kids know we value our health and they look forward to dentist visits to show off their healthy teeth.

3. Oil Pulling

Use a small spoonful of coconut oil or sesame oil with a few drops of essential oils (I like the Thieves blend). Swish for about 20 minutes. Spit (probably not in the sink since it will re-solidify and clog drains.) Rinse and brush as usual.

Keeps everything clean, bright, and healthy with lots of health benefits.

I don’t get cold sores in or around my mouth hardly ever anymore.

4. Healthy Diet

We limit our family’s sugar intake. We make sure we eat lots of fruits and vegetables and drink plenty of filtered water.

I like to provide lots of variety so our kids are exposed to lots of different flavors and textures. We work those muscles chewing and smiling!

We’re aiming for a chemical-free lifestyle, and what we ingest has to be all natural and good for us!

We’re teaching healthy habits.

Our usual snacks are fruit, cheese, nuts, yogurt, and granola.

5. What’s in Your Cabinet?

Have you read the labels on your commercial toothpaste? Why does it have a poison control warning if you put it in your mouth twice a day? Why are there unnecessary chemicals, additives, and dyes? Do you know what all those words mean?

We use natural toothpaste.

We make our own mouthwash.

We use baking soda and essential oils (I like Thieves, Peppermint, and Citrus) for quick stain and tartar removal.

For really tough stains, we use activated charcoal or turmeric!

We don’t have fluoride in our natural toothpaste or added to our water, so we don’t have to worry about ingesting it and developing health problems from too much.

How do you teach your children to take good care of their teeth?

Do you have any healthy tips to share?

Linking up: Lori Schumaker, Create with Joy, MaryAndering Creatively, Our Holiday Journey, Mostly Blogging, My Pinventures, Inspo for Moms, Bloggetti, Mary Geisen, Abounding Grace, Timeless Mama, April Harris, LouLou Girls, Home Stories, Meghan Weyerbacher, Purposeful Faith, Trekking Thru, Jessi’s Design, Wise Woman, Jaime Wiebel, Gingersnap Crafts, Our Three Peas, Marilyn’s Treats, My Life Abundant, Sarah Frazer, Oh My Heartsie Girl, Life Beyond the Kitchen, Crystal Storms, Susan Mead, CWJ, Firemans Wife, Blended, TOLT, FF, Momfessionals, RCH, CKK, Faithful Pursuit, Anna Nuttall, Answer is Choco, TFT, Lyli Dunbar, Crystal Waddell, Lori Schumaker, Counting My Blessings, Life with Lorelai, Mommynificent, Creative K Kids, Imparting Grace, Apron Strings, Rachel Lee, Spiritual Sundays, SITS Girls, Pam’s Party, Pieced Pastimes, Our Mini Family, Being a Wordsmith,

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The Danger of Mixing Meds with Alcohol

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December 3, 2018 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

There’s a reason why prescription and some over the counter medication packages are marked with a “Do not mix with alcohol” — it’s dangerous. Mixing medicine and alcohol can have all kinds of negative side effects. Unfortunately, many people overlook this.Maybe they’re having too much fun at a party and decide to pop a few pills while they’re already drunk. Perhaps they take prescription medication and forget that they can’t drink booze. Or, maybe they struggle with alcoholism and are just seeking a stronger high.Dr. Duy Nguyen, D.O., is a Board-Certified Psychiatrist in General Psychiatry practicing at Beachway Therapy Center, a drug and alcohol rehab in Boynton Beach, Florida. He says, “Whatever the case, it’s important for everyone to know how dangerous it is. After all, when you combine alcohol with some drugs, the results can be deadly. More than 100 drugs interact with wine, beer, champagne, and hard liquor, triggering problems ranging from nausea and headaches to life-threatening issues, such as internal bleeding and difficulty breathing.”

What does alcohol do to my medication?

Dr. Nguyen explains, “Alcohol may interfere with the absorption, metabolism, or excretion of medications which can either increase or oppose the effects of your medication. With some drugs, alcohol competes with the enzymes metabolizing your medications, increasing the amount of drug in the body—along with any side effects. Mixing alcohol and other medications may have short-term side effects like drowsiness, nausea, and vomiting.”

Common drugs you should not mix with alcohol:

Allergy, Cold, and Flu Medications

You should avoid drinking if taking allergy medications and any multi-symptom cold and flu formulation. Drowsiness and dizziness are common, interfering with your ability to drive or operate heavy machinery. Because the combined use can impair judgment, there is also an increased risk of overdose.

Angina Medications

Angina, also known as ischemic chest pain, is a type of pain caused by reduced blood flow to the heart. Taking alcohol with the angina medication nitroglycerin can lead to a rapid heartbeat (tachycardia), sudden changes in blood pressure, dizziness, and fainting. Avoid drinking when taking any brand of nitroglycerin.

Anti-Anxiety and Epilepsy Medications

The combined use of alcohol and anti-anxiety and epilepsy medications can cause drowsiness, dizziness, slowed breathing, breathing restriction, impaired motor control, abnormal behavior, liver damage, and memory loss.

Antidepressants

As a rule, the combined use of alcohol and antidepressants can cause drowsiness, dizziness, increased feelings of depression, or suicidal thoughts (especially in young people).

Anti-Seizure Medications

The combined use of alcohol and anti-seizure medications can cause drowsiness, dizziness, and even the very seizures they are meant to prevent.

Muscle Relaxants

The combined use of alcohol and muscle relaxants can cause drowsiness, dizziness, slowed or impaired breathing, impaired motor control, abnormal behavior, memory loss, and seizures.

Sleep Aids

The combined use of alcohol and sleep medications should be avoided. It can cause slowed or impaired breathing, impaired motor control, abnormal behavior, memory loss, and fainting.

Opioids

The combination of painkillers and alcohol is also of great concern, and should always be avoided, considering the U.S. opioid epidemic. The use of alcohol and pain medications like narcotics together can disrupt breathing and may be fatal. Without enough oxygen, the brain will begin to shut down organ systems, and the person can eventually suffer brain damage or death due to lack of oxygen.

Final Advice

Dr. Nguyen says that, “If you have combined prescription or OTC drugs with alcohol and begin to feel side effects that could be dangerous, contact your doctor immediately or go to the nearest emergency room. Always read medicine labels carefully. If you are deliberately mixing drugs and alcohol to “get high” you may have a substance abuse problem and should seek the advice of a psychiatrist or consider an in- patient treatment center.

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Holiday Essential Oil Blends

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November 22, 2018 By Jennifer Lambert 10 Comments

Get in the Holiday Spirit with these Essential Oil Blends for your Diffuser!

The holidays can be stressful for many.

I love diffusing essential oils to get rid of cooking smells, freshen and clear the air, perk up a low mood, or calm us for bedtime.

I recently completed my aromatherapy certification course. I’m excited to share more with you about the benefits of plants and aromatherapy.

Orange oil is a favorite and frugal essential oil and I often use it as a base note for diffusing blends.

Most love the scent of citrus and there are few contraindications with diffusing. Citrus is uplifting.

I am very careful about diffusing mints, especially around young children or those with sensitivities.

Spice oils should be used sparingly and carefully as well so they don’t irritate mucous membranes.

Evergreen oils are balancing – like cypress, fir, spruce, juniper, rosemary, cedar, pine. They’re refreshing.

Florals are cozy and feminine but add a bright touch to blends as a topnote.

Diffusers only hold so much water and 5-6 drops of oils are plenty for diffusing up to 3 hours in most diffusers.

Stress Away blend is perfect for diffusing all the time. The warm scents of vanilla and lime are perfect for the holidays.

My absolute favorite diffuser blend:

3 drops Rosemary (Rosmarinus officinalis)
2 drops Lavender (Lavandula angustifolia)
2 drops Lemon (Citrus limon)

Holiday Essential Oil Blends

Holiday Diffuser Blends

Three Trees

1 drop Palo Santo (Bursera graveolens)
1 drop Myrrh (Commiphora myrrha)
2 drops Cedarwood (Juniperus virginiana)

Magi

1 drop Frankincense (Boswellia carterii)
1 drop Myrrh (Commiphora myrrha)
2 drops Cedarwood (Juniperus virginiana)
optional: 2 drops Orange (Citrus sinensis)

Spiced Cider

3 drops Orange (Citrus sinensis)
1 drop Cinnamon (Cinnamomum verum)
1 drop Ginger (Zingiber officinale)

Pumpkin Spice

1 drops Cinnamon (Cinnamomum verum)
1 drops Clove (Syzygium aromaticum)
2 drops Nutmeg (Myristica fragrans)
1 drop Ginger (Zingiber officinale)

Gingerbread

2 drops Ginger (Zingiber officinale)
1 drops Clove (Syzygium aromaticum)
1 drops Nutmeg (Myristica fragrans)
1 drops Cinnamon (Cinnamomum verum)
1 drop Orange (Citrus sinensis)

Pick Me Up

2 drops Grapefruit (Citrus paradisi)
2 drops Lemon (Citrus limon)
1 drop Spearmint (Mentha spicata)

Tropical Getaway

1 drops Eucalyptus (Globulus)
2 drops Lime (Citrus aurantifolia)
1 drop Ylang Ylang (Cananga odorata)

Christmas Tree

2 drops Pine (Pinus sylvestris)
2 drops Spruce or Fir (Picea mariana or Abies alba)
2 drops Juniper (Juniperus communis)

Try combining your favorite scents. Less is more and goes a long way. I love florals with evergreen and citrus.

What’s your favorite essential oil?

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20 Diffuser Blends
15 Diffusers under $50
10 Gifts with Essential Oils
10 Natural Living Gifts

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Personal Growth

This post may contain affiliate links. See disclosure. Check out my suggested resources.

October 15, 2018 By Jennifer Lambert 2 Comments

I wasn’t a healthy youth, teen, or young adult.

My parents had narcissistic tendencies. They were also suffocatingly overprotective. I’m an only child. Naturally, I grew up with some unhealthy coping mechanisms.

I eloped when I was 21. He was 28. My parents disowned me. They mailed me a copy of their legal will, torn into shreds. My father didn’t attend my master’s degree graduation ceremony.

It was a special time.

I was too young, inexperienced, naïve, the works. We were inexperienced in so many ways. He wasn’t right for me. I wasn’t right for him. We weren’t right for each other.

He was a drug dealer and addicted to porn.

And I really didn’t know.

Four years of abuse, including verbal/emotional, sexual, and physical, and the emotional and spiritual abuse from the churches his family attended led me on a serious journey of self-discovery.

If you lose someone, but find yourself, you won.

{Get the journal.}

I left him in 2001. We’ve been divorced since 2002.

You cannot heal in the same environment where you were hurt.

The church really attacked me over the divorce. I felt so alone.

There have been some interesting developments with his niece over the years. I can’t even begin to understand his family and their choices and decisions.

His family were my first exposure to Christianity and it damaged me. It continues to affect my faith walk.

I am not the same as when I was in my teens, twenties, or thirties.

My ex posted this in August 2018.

So that’s his perception and we’re all entitled to our own perception.

“You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.” ~Anne Lamott

Once a person reaches age 50+, maybe learn to move on and show some personal growth?

Is social media the place to work out your emotional baggage, seek personal affirmation, and discuss people behind their back?

Oh, wait…

I minored in psychology at university. I was *this close* to a double major.

I’ve read a lot about narcissism and other mental disorders and illnesses. It’s kind of a hobby, and I have a very personal interest.

Did I and do I have narcissistic tendencies?

Absolutely.

But I’m more an empath and I find this article absolutely fascinating comparing empaths and narcissists.

And this other article about empaths and narcissists.

How narcissists manipulate.

A pretty accurate list of narcissist traits.

“An empath will always put themselves into other people’s shoes and experience the feelings, thoughts, and emotions of others while forgetting that other people may have an agenda very different to their own and that not everyone is sincere.”

As a child of narcissists, I recognize these destructive tendencies and I actively steer my attitudes and actions away from repeating the cycle of abuse. There’s even a Post-Narcissist Stress Disorder, PNSD.

I was wounded.

On my journey of self-discovery, I have learned the hard lesson of how to forgive. I no longer blame my ex for the problems we faced while we were in a relationship. I used to be very angry and bitter. Negativity ate me up inside. Now, when I remember, they are just facts. The events happened. I am unemotional about it. I am no longer ashamed or afraid.

He had his issues and I had mine. But I feel that I have mostly overcome my issues. I feel much more comfortable with who I am now than I did then.

I have grown up.

I have moved on.

The best thing I ever did was leave the state where I grew up and where my ex and his family still reside. I took my daughter and we literally and figuratively escaped.

I had to be independent of my parents.

I had to learn to be self-reliant.

I had to develop my own identity.

Most kids do this gradually as teens and young adults, but I wasn’t allowed to do this in a natural or healthy way.

I’m not going to rehash the failures in our relationship or the issues during and after the divorce. Perhaps another time.

After many years of no contact from my ex, and no child support payments of the $20k+ back payments he owed, my current husband adopted my daughter. We also have three kids together. We realize that we are not perfect people. We have had our struggles and we had to grow up and learn what duty and commitment and healthy relationships look like. We have no role models. It’s been almost 14 years now.

For years, my parents accused me of so many horrible things, of being an ungrateful daughter. They have written me hate mail – via paper letter and email – about how poorly I am raising my children, what a terrible mother I am, that I should physically discipline my kids. They even found a therapist to agree with them, to blame me for their unhappiness with themselves and the world, or so they said. They are bitter, angry people.

And I no longer blame my parents for who they are and how mean they sometimes were. I forgive them. It still hurts and their words and actions affect me deep inside my core because they are my parents.

I’ve done everything I can to break the cycle of abuse. I am constantly seeking ways of self-improvement.

My daughter, who is now 18, struggles with abandonment issues even though she hasn’t physically seen her biological father since she was four years old. She contacted him via social media last year – with my knowledge and blessing – and has experienced nothing but disappointment and heartbreak as he accuses her of being brainwashed with my lies. He recently blocked her on Facebook and bragged about that to his family and friends – so any conversation between him and our daughter is over for the time being. He says I brainwashed her.

I have so much paperwork to back up my story. I ache for her to heal the wounds of her past. I long for her to be healthy and whole. I pray for her relationships and mental health.

And as for my parents…Distance makes the heart grow fonder, right?

Living in Texas, Hawaii, Utah, Germany, and now Ohio, and only having very limited contact with my parents has forced them to grow too. They’re 76 now.

My father just sent me an email apologizing for his poor behavior and emotional distance the past twenty years – since I left home.

So, we’re still making progress.

Sometimes it does help to talk to mental health professional.

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5 Summer Health Risks

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August 20, 2018 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

Protect Your Family from these 5 Summer Health Risks

Summertime brings warmer weather and longer days, as well as some seasonal health risks. Before your kids run out to play, make sure you’re doing everything possible to protect them from the sun, bugs, allergic reactions, and other summer threats.

Image via Flickr by skeyndor.oficial

Skin-Damaging Sunburn

Too much sun during childhood does more than cause painful sunburns; overexposure increases the risk of skin cancer later in life. Protect your little ones now and in the future with a healthy sun strategy.

The sun’s rays are strongest during the midday hours, so limit outings between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m. Apply a broad-spectrum sunscreen 30 minutes before going outside; reapply every two hours and after sweating or swimming. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends SPF 15 or higher.

Biting Bugs

Blood-sucking pests carry serious diseases and cause allergic reactions in some children. Mosquitoes are worse at dusk, and ticks thrive in warm, woody areas. Dress children in light colors and long pants and sleeves, and remove standing water, which mosquitoes use for breeding.

Apply DEET bug repellent to skin (perhaps on kids older than 6) and clothing when insects are a threat. Sprays containing 30 percent DEET protect for up to five hours. Products with oil of lemon, eucalyptus, or picaridin are also effective, and some people have luck with clip-on repellent pads.

Annoying Allergies

Summer is the season for allergies, but not all threats come from outside. Dusty or outdated HVAC systems can wreak havoc on asthma and allergies. When you can’t escape the pollen, dander, and dust by coming indoors, what do you do?

Start by vacuuming daily, lowering your indoor humidity, changing your air filter, and washing bedding and rugs. If that’s not enough, have your HVAC inspected and cleaned by a professional. It’s surprising how much pollen, dust, and other allergens build up in your HVAC system over time. A professional can keep your system clean and running efficiently throughout peak allergy season and all year long.

Heat Hazards

Too much fun in the sun can be dangerous, and the risk of heat-related illness is greatest during summer when high humidity impairs the body’s natural cooling process. Children may not complain of thirst until they’re on the brink of dehydration, so offer water every 30 minutes during play.

Dry or sticky mouth, muscle cramping, headache, fatigue, dizziness, irritability, and confusion may indicate dehydration or heat stroke. Watch out for hot swings, slides, and metal car seat buckles that can burn your child’s skin. And never leave a child alone in a car.

Drowning Disasters

Swimming is one of the greatest joys of summer, but it’s also one of the biggest dangers. It takes only two inches of water and a couple of minutes for a child to drown. Keeping children safe around water requires constant supervision and the right information.

Contrary to what most believe, drowning is quick and quiet. Children rarely splash or cry out for help. If you’re on your cell phone or reading a book, you may not even know a child is struggling. Don’t get distracted, teach your children to avoid water unless with an adult, and refresh your CPR certification annually.

There’s certainly no shortage of things to worry about during summer, but a little thought and preparation can mean a happy — and safe — season for everyone.

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Back to School Eye Health Tips

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August 14, 2018 By Jennifer Lambert 9 Comments

New clothes and a new backpack may be on your child’s back-to-school list. But, what about a back-to-school eye exam?

Vision is one of the keys to success in school, so make sure your children get regular vision screenings.

Dr. Laura Sperazza, Director of Low Vision Services at Lighthouse Guild, says, “The most important thing you can do to protect your child’s vision is to make sure they get an eye exam. An eye health professional can determine if your child needs eyeglasses or contact lenses, or if there is a vision problem that requires further intervention.”

My husband and I both wear contacts and glasses and two of our four kids wear glasses. My prescription hasn’t actually changed in about ten years.

August Is Children’s Eye Health and Safety Month

We’ve spent the last year in vision therapy with one of our children for convergence insufficiency treatment.

We attended weekly sessions and completed daily homework.

I have seen a world of difference in my daughter’s reading, comprehension, abstract thinking, and confidence.

As homeschoolers, we didn’t know she was experiencing any vision issues and we didn’t have the proper screenings through specialist doctors, even though she had eyeglasses for reading.

It’s important as parents to do research and pay attention to problems and symptoms.

We can’t rely on schools to do that job for us. I’ve read about many parents whose kids were misdiagnosed with attention or behavior disorders and they just had weak eye muscles.

Learn more at COVD.

Some of it is hereditary, but most is lifestyle and can be prevented or improved or at least halted.

5 healthy vision tips to help safeguard your child’s eye health:

Eat Your Carrots

The old saying still applies. Encourage your child to eat a well-balanced diet loaded with different types of fruits and veggies, as well as sustainable fish and/or flax. Omega 3, D supplements, B vitamins, and beta carotene help with vision health.

Speak Up

Pay attention to your child doing different activities. Ask your child to let you know if they notice any vision changes during different environments – if their vision is blurry, if they are squinting a lot in one or both eyes, if lights are really bright, or their eyes start bothering them in other ways. If a child has trouble reading fluently by around age 10-12, there might be a vision problem not readily understood by pediatricians or many optometrists. My daughter’s eyes were very watery all the time and she yawned a lot, especially when trying to read.

Wear Glasses Consistently

Help your child understand the importance of wearing their eyeglasses. If they are resistant because they believe glasses are unattractive, try pointing out sports figures and other well-known people who wear glasses. Talk with them about how to clean and store their glasses properly.

Rest Your Eyes

Looking continuously at a computer, smartphone, tablet, or TV screen can tire eyes. Encourage your child to take regular breaks from staring at a screen. Also, make sure there is adequate lighting during close work. There are special lenses designed to help block harmful rays with screen use.

Get Outside

Did you know that regular outside play helps reduce myopia?

Balanced and Barefoot: How Unrestricted Outdoor Play Makes for Strong, Confident, and Capable Children by Angela J. Hanscom

Wear Safety Gear

Make sure your child wears glasses bands or goggles or other types of protective eye wear while playing sports, using chemicals or tools for school projects, or engaging in other activities. Many eye injuries can be prevented with better safety habits.

As a parent, sometimes we just need to trust our gut feelings if we think something isn’t right about our kids’ health. And we need to model healthy habits for our kids by limiting our screen time and taking breaks.

Lots of eye care shops offer great back to school deals on glasses for kids under age 18.

Deal on glasses!

Order the Warby Parker Home Try-On program and walk through the process from start to finish: from selecting and ordering five frames, to finding the right pair for your face, all in the comfort of your own home!

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Choices Matter in Pain Management

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July 10, 2018 By Jennifer Lambert 9 Comments

I received this product for free from Moms Meet (momsmeet.com) to use and post my honest opinions. Compensation for this post was provided and this page may contain affiliate links.

I delivered my third child via Caesarean section on 11 May 2007.

I was told that after two rather traumatic large natural no-meds births that an elective C-section was the only way to go for my baby’s health and safety. If I chose to attempt to deliver naturally that could lead to complications and an emergency C-section, it could be dangerous.

I thought I was prepared.

With an elective C-section, almost everything was out of my control.

I felt like a failure.

But my perfect little girl was all worth it.

I didn’t have many options for pain management in a military hospital.

The anesthesiologist administered an epidural for the surgery. I received oral pain meds during my hospital stay that made me nauseated. I got an opioid prescription to take at home.

I didn’t receive any helpful post-care or information about pain management, healing, scar care, or effects of opioids on my nursing baby. I was simply sent home with an opioid prescription, stool softener, and some brochures.

My parents were visiting but are no help to me or my family. I had to entertain them when all I wanted was rest. My husband had to return to work within the week. I had pressing concerns – caring for my newborn and other children while recovering from major surgery – and doctors are supposed to be trustworthy professionals.

Right?

The medical professionals all assured me it was safe to take my prescriptions while nursing. I took as few of the opioids as possible, for only a couple days, because they made me feel nauseated. Then I moved on to milder and most likely safer pain meds – non-steroidal anti-inflammatories (NSAID). Luckily, I was young and strong and healed well and quickly. I had two other kids to care for and I couldn’t afford to be laid up for long. Great pain management options also include CAM treatments, long-acting anesthetics, warm baths, heating pads, or ice packs. I utilize integrative methods when I can.

I recommend doing your own research and discussing options before surgery so you won’t have to make quick important decisions while groggy or in pain.

My daughter is now 11 years old and is by far my healthiest child of four, and surely is fine despite the opioids I took for pain those first few days after her birth while I was nursing her. But what if the meds had affected her? How many children have been or are being affected by side effects of strong pain meds? We don’t have all the answers to exposure. There are lots of options for pain management for nursing moms after C-section.

Choices Matter is a campaign designed to educate and empower patients, caregivers, and physicians to discuss pain management options, including effective non-opioid options, prior to surgery. The use of non-opioid options before, during, and after surgery can significantly decrease or, in many cases, completely eliminate the need for opioids after many common procedures, including C-section deliveries.

Some Caesarean section statistics:

• More than 1 in 3 women had C-section deliveries; overall, 1 in 5 C-sections were unplanned
• More than 1 in 3 (36%) women did not have a birth plan, which is an opportune time for a patient to speak with their doctor about pain management options, including non-opioids
• 38% of women are open to pain management options, but think some kinds of pain medications are or could be harmful to them or their baby

Opioids and childbirth:

• 19% believe they are fine for other procedures, but not childbirth
• 25% believe they will be able to handle the pain without opioids
• 21% have no issue taking opioids
• 35% prefer to let their doctors decide what is best
• Nearly nine-in-ten (88%) of mothers have concerns about taking opioids during and after childbirth. Despite these concerns, more than half (51%) of C-section patients are prescribed an opioid.

Leading concerns surrounding opioids and childbirth:

• Breastfeeding/impact on baby: 53%
• Side effects: 52%
• Nearly a quarter (24%) of those surveyed fear the risk of dependence or addiction
• While C-section patients had more opioids and anesthetics in the hospital and at home, they were less satisfied with their overall pain management
• 44% of C-section mothers were not completely satisfied with how their pain was managed during birth

The US is currently in the throes of an opioid crisis.

Interesting facts:

There were more than 42,000 deaths attributed to opioids in 2016, and 40% of all opioid overdose deaths involve prescription opioids.
In 2012, there were 793 million doses of opioids prescribed in Ohio, enough to supply every man, woman, and child, with 68 pills each. Roughly 20 percent of the state’s population was prescribed an opioid in 2016. And Ohio leads the nation in overdose deaths.
The state of Ohio has sued five major drug manufacturers for their role in the opioid epidemic.
The Justice Department report shows that federal prosecutors investigating the company found that Big Pharma knew about “significant” abuse of opioids in the first years after the drug’s introduction in 1996 and concealed that information. For children growing up in the shadow of the opioid crisis, public schools have become the safety net of last resort.
Center for Disease Control (CDC) statistics report that one in 10 Native American children will use prescription opioids for nonmedical use — twice the rate of white children.

Our church supports charities to counter the opioid epidemic, like Brigid’s Path.

Have you experienced a Caesarean section birth? What was it like?

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What’s an introvert to do with all the expectations that come with the holidays?

Priority

Focus

Tradition

Delegate

Let it go

What do you want your family to remember about the holidays?

Most holiday stress and anxiety come from:

5 Kinds of People Most Likely to Get the Holiday Blues and How to Help:

1. Divorced or widowed

2. Entrepreneurs

3. Caretakers

4. Recovering addicts

5. Children of divorce

The holidays can be a stressful time of year for many of us. It’s a time when we must be aware and extra kind to those on the fringes.

Children need to feel safe with parents to express their entire spectrum of emotions.

Emotions are just communication.

As parents, if we don’t have our emotions under control, how can we coach our kids to express themselves in healthy ways?

5 Steps to Emotion Coaching

What to say when we have big feelings:

Stress and anxiety determine resilience and vulnerability.

Your true self is underneath all the emotions you don’t want to feel.

Let feelings be.

We’re all learning how to be people.

Listen To Your Emotions…

My goal:

For grief, trauma, and other really strong negative emotions…

How do you deal with big emotions?

February is Dental Health Month!

It’s super important that we teach our kids about dental health.

How we maintain healthy teeth, gums, and mouths:

1. Regular Dental Care

2. Teaching Good Habits

3. Oil Pulling

4. Healthy Diet

5. What’s in Your Cabinet?

How do you teach your children to take good care of their teeth?

Do you have any healthy tips to share?

More problematic for women than men

What does alcohol do to my medication?

Common drugs you should not mix with alcohol:

Allergy, Cold, and Flu Medications

Angina Medications

Anti-Anxiety and Epilepsy Medications

Antidepressants

Anti-Seizure Medications

Muscle Relaxants

Sleep Aids

Opioids

Final Advice

Get in the Holiday Spirit with these Essential Oil Blends for your Diffuser!

Diffusers only hold so much water and 5-6 drops of oils are plenty for diffusing up to 3 hours in most diffusers.

My absolute favorite diffuser blend:

Holiday Diffuser Blends

Three Trees

Magi

Spiced Cider

Pumpkin Spice

Gingerbread

Pick Me Up

Tropical Getaway

Christmas Tree

What’s your favorite essential oil?

If you lose someone, but find yourself, you won.

I am not the same as when I was in my teens, twenties, or thirties.

Protect Your Family from these 5 Summer Health Risks

Skin-Damaging Sunburn

Biting Bugs

Annoying Allergies

Heat Hazards

Drowning Disasters

There’s certainly no shortage of things to worry about during summer, but a little thought and preparation can mean a happy — and safe — season for everyone.

August Is Children’s Eye Health and Safety Month

5 healthy vision tips to help safeguard your child’s eye health:

Eat Your Carrots

Speak Up

Wear Glasses Consistently

Rest Your Eyes

Get Outside

Wear Safety Gear