Jennifer Lambert

A Sacred Balance

Visit Us On FacebookVisit Us On PinterestVisit Us On InstagramVisit Us On Linkedin
  • Homeschool
    • Book Lists
    • How Do We Do That?
    • Notebooking
    • Subjects and Styles
    • Unit Studies
  • Travel
    • Europe
      • Benelux
      • France
      • Germany
      • Greece
      • Ireland
      • Italy
      • London
      • Porto
      • Prague
    • USA
      • Chicago
      • Georgia
      • Hawaii
      • Ohio
      • Utah
      • Yellowstone and Teton
  • Family
    • Celebrations
    • Frugal
  • Military Life
    • Deployment
    • PCS
  • Health
    • Recipes
    • Essential Oils
    • Fitness
    • Mental Health
    • Natural Living
    • Natural Beauty
  • Faith
  • About Me
    • Favorite Resources
    • Advertising and Sponsorship
    • Policies
  • Reviews

© 2023Jennifer Lambert · Copyright · Disclosure · Privacy · Ad

How Preventive Dental Care Supports Your Long-Term Wellness

This blog may contain affiliate links: disclosure.
Please see my suggested resources.

March 26, 2025 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

Key Takeaways

  • Understand why preventive dental care is essential to overall well-being.
  • Explore different preventive care practices that can be integrated into daily routines.
  • Learn about the long-term benefits of maintaining regular dental hygiene practices.

The Basics of Preventive Dental Care

Preventive dental care addresses oral health concerns as they arise and institutes a consistent regimen that precludes such issues. Unlike remedial dentistry, which focuses on correcting existing problems, preventive care is a proactive approach that emphasizes maintaining oral hygiene and preempting the development of dental conditions. Embracing this approach yields significant dividends in terms of health and well-being. Individuals can improve their oral health by establishing a routine centered around preventive practices. Individual and Family | Delta Dental serves as a valuable service and guide in understanding why foundational habits such as brushing, flossing, and dental visits are integral to one’s health strategy.

Preventive measures encompass a range of activities designed to maintain oral health. By ingraining these habits into daily routines, individuals can prevent major dental issues, fostering a lifetime of healthier teeth and gums. These practices form the cornerstone of a comprehensive strategy that alleviates immediate concerns and mitigates long-term risks, illustrating the importance of preventive care as a sustainable health practice.

Standard Practices for Effective Oral Hygiene

  • Brushing your teeth two times a day removes plaque and prevents tooth decay.
  • Daily flossing removes plaque from areas between teeth that a toothbrush cannot access.
  • Rinsing with an antibacterial mouthwash further reduces oral bacteria and strengthens tooth enamel.

Engaging consistently in these practices addresses critical areas prone to decay and disease. Each element of the oral care regimen plays a unique but complementary role: brushing acts on exposed surfaces of the teeth, flossing cleans between them, and mouthwash offers broad-spectrum bacterial control. Together, these efforts construct a resilient defense against common dental afflictions. The habitual nature of these activities ensures that teeth and gums remain protected against erosion and decay over the years, thereby preserving their function and appearance.

Why Regular Dental Check-Ups Matter

Routine dental examinations are a vital element of proactively managing oral health. These visits are opportunities for a thorough examination and cleaning by specialized professionals and serve as preventive measures. Dentists possess the expertise to identify early warning signs that could suggest the onset of complications, allowing interventions before they develop into serious problems. The significance of this early intervention is emphasized, which notes that regular dental exams maintain optimal health and prevent the progression of issues like cavities and periodontal disease. Dentists suggest that check-ups should occur at least bi-annually to prevent potential problems. These visits can reveal teeth, gums, and soft tissue issues. The reassurance that comes with consistent assessments enhances confidence in one’s oral health management and contributes to a more informed and balanced health strategy overall.

The Financial Benefits of Preventive Care

From a financial perspective, preventive dental care represents a wise investment in one’s health. While the costs associated with preventive practices such as buying toothpaste, floss, and mouthwash are relatively low, they help avert expensive procedures down the line. Devoting time to these essential activities reduces the likelihood of requiring extensive corrective treatments in the future, such as fillings, crowns, or even surgeries.

Investing modestly in routine care reflects a cost-effective approach to health maintenance. Long-term savings accumulated through preventive care can be substantial, as avoiding severe dental conditions translates directly into fewer medical expenses. Furthermore, the financial peace of mind gained from knowing one’s health is proactively managed is invaluable and emphasizes the economic benefits of focusing on prevention rather than cure.

Impact of Oral Health on Overall Health

Oral health and overall wellness are vital and cannot be overstated. Dental health directly influences numerous systemic conditions; for example, oral infections can contribute to serious diseases like cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and even complications during pregnancy. When not addressed, gum disease and tooth infections can release bacteria into the bloodstream, triggering inflammatory responses elsewhere.

This complex relationship underlines the importance of maintaining oral hygiene as a component of broader health strategies. Attending to one’s dental health is not just about aesthetic or functional benefits but also plays a critical role in fortifying overall well-being. As science continues to uncover these links, the significance of treating oral care as a priority in health management strategies becomes increasingly evident, encouraging a more holistic and integrated approach to personal wellness.

Developing a Routine That Works for You

Creating an effective dental care routine tailored to individual choices and ways of living is crucial for lasting achievement. Factors such as work schedules, dietary habits, and personal preferences for dental products should all influence the composition of this routine. People are more inclined to maintain their efforts and see positive outcomes by designing a manageable plan that harmonizes with daily life. Such personalization encourages regularity and makes maintaining oral health more approachable and sustainable. Crafting a routine tailored to individual needs ensures every aspect of personal hygiene is addressed effectively, reducing the propensity for neglect arising from busy or demanding schedules.

Future Trends in Preventive Dental Care

Technological advancements continue to transform preventive dental care into a more efficient and personalized discipline. Innovations like smart toothbrushes, which provide real-time feedback, and tele-dentistry, which expands access to care through virtual consultations, illustrate the strides made in this field. These developments offer individuals greater control over oral care regimens and encourage more diligent maintenance practices. With the advent of these technologies, preventive dental care is becoming more integrated and tailored to user needs. They promise more straightforward access to expert advice and make it simpler for individuals to track their oral health metrics. As these trends advance and become the norm, they will invariably lead to improved health outcomes, promoting a healthier population with fewer dental issues.

Share
Pin
Share
0 Shares
You might also like:

Filed Under: Health Tagged With: dental health

How to Overcome Dental Anxiety and Make Cleanings Stress-Free

This blog may contain affiliate links: disclosure.
Please see my suggested resources.

October 11, 2024 By Jennifer Lambert 1 Comment

Key Takeaways:

  • Understanding the root causes of dental anxiety can help in managing and overcoming it.
  • Effective communication with your dentist can significantly reduce anxiety.
  • Various relaxation techniques and mindfulness practices can make dental visits more comfortable.

Understanding Dental Anxiety

Dental anxiety is a widespread problem that many people experience. Numerous things might cause it, including a fear of pain, unpleasant memories from the past, or even just the sounds and odors of a dentist office. Finding the sources of your worry and addressing them can be the first steps in conquering it. For those in the region, dental cleanings Parkesburg offer a professional and understanding approach to help ease these fears, making the experience more manageable. Identifying specific triggers helps in developing targeted strategies to cope with anxiety, paving the way for a less stressful visit to the dentist.

Communicate with Your Dentist

Being open and honest with your dentist is essential to controlling dental anxiety. By being aware of your worries, your dentist can adjust the procedure to suit your needs. They can explain procedures in detail, offer reassurance, and even schedule extra time for your appointment. This personalized approach can significantly reduce anxiety and make the experience more comfortable. Many professionals are trained to handle anxious patients with care and empathy, providing a safer and more relaxed environment. Never be afraid to voice your worries or ask questions. A reputable dentist will value your candor and work with you to make the procedure less stressful.

Relaxation Techniques

Several relaxation techniques can help calm your nerves before and during a dental visit. Deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, and guided imagery can all be effective. You can also de-stress by employing aromatherapy with essential oils like lavender or by listening to soothing music. Combined, these techniques can be especially beneficial, providing a multi-faceted approach to anxiety management. Practicing yoga or engaging in light exercise before their appointment can also help to reduce stress levels. Experiment with different methods to find what works best for you.

The Role of Sedation Dentistry

Sedation dentistry offers another layer of comfort for those with severe dental anxiety. There are several sedation degrees that can be utilized, from light sedatives like nitrous oxide to deeper techniques that need medical supervision. WebMD explains that sedation dentistry can make even the most complex dental procedures feel stress-free, helping patients relax and receive care without fear or discomfort. Discussing sedation options with your dentist can provide additional peace of mind and make your dental visits much more tolerable.

Mindfulness and Its Benefits

Mindfulness exercises are a fantastic way to alleviate dental anxiety. Mindfulness activities, meditation, and controlled breathing are effective methods for achieving grounding and stress reduction. Taking a few minutes to practice mindfulness before your meeting can make a great difference in your general mood. You can break the pattern of worrying thoughts and attain a more tranquil state of mind by concentrating on your breathing and the here and now. Frequent mindfulness practice can also help you become more adept at handling stress and anxiety in a variety of contexts, which can have long-term advantages.

Alternative Therapies

Alternative therapies like acupuncture and hypnotherapy have shown promise in reducing dental anxiety. These therapies can provide alternative methods to traditional anxiety management techniques, offering unique ways to address and alleviate your fears. Research has shown that these approaches can complement conventional relaxation techniques, providing an added support layer. Finding the best course of action for your needs in terms of treatment might be facilitated by speaking with a specialist in these therapies.

Preparing for Your Appointment

Preparation is key to a stress-free dental visit. Arrive early to allow yourself time to relax and acclimate to the environment. Bring a friend or family member for support if that makes you feel more comfortable. Don cozy attire and include any calming accessories, such as comfort blankets or stress balls. Establishing a peaceful habit before your consultation can assist create a more laid-back atmosphere. Before your visit, think about abstaining from caffeine and sugary meals as these can make you feel more anxious. To be stable and composed, choose a light, balanced dinner instead.

Conclusion

With the correct techniques and assistance, it is completely feasible to overcome dental phobia. Dental appointments can be much more tolerable if you know what is causing your anxiety in the first place, communicate with your dentist in an efficient manner, and practice mindfulness and relaxation. Professional teeth cleanings in Parkesburg can provide a comforting and understanding environment to help allay your anxieties. By adequately preparing and exploring alternative therapies, you can transform your dental experiences, making them stress-free and enjoyable. By proactively addressing dental anxiety, you may improve your oral health and general well-being by ensuring that you receive the necessary dental care.

Share
Pin
Share
0 Shares
You might also like:

Filed Under: Health

Real Self Care

This blog may contain affiliate links: disclosure.
Please see my suggested resources.

September 16, 2024 By Jennifer Lambert 2 Comments

So, so many of us are stressed.

We are bombarded with articles and ads and memes and even admonitions from family and friends to practice more or better “self-care.”

Even the authorities in lives – parents and pastors – criticize us for not taking more time for ourselves, but without offering any real help.

Images of self-care are bubble baths with wine and candles or expensive spa days with facials and massages and pedicures.

Honestly, that’s not even what relaxes some of us, not to mention how many can’t afford it.

Consumerism often just adds to our problems.

Self-care shouldn’t contribute to your stress!

Is it betrayal or burnout?

Many of us don’t have any help.

Our society tells us we need to be supermoms. We should be able to do it all and look young and smooth and stylish and cheerful while succeeding.

This is not reality.

This is about our culture and the lack of public policy. We don’t have universal healthcare or affordable childcare or paid leave or even reliable income. Expenses rise and salaries stays the same.

Spouses don’t do enough for whatever reason. We have little support. Family might live far away or be inconsistent or even toxic. Few can afford to hire domestic labor to do the work we often have to put aside but feel guilty about all the time.

Expensive supplements or vitamins or even prescription meds are not the end-all, be-all solution. Therapy isn’t the answer to a broken sick and society. The immediacy of the Instagram self-care is seductive and we are told we can get quick gratification fixes, but that’s a lie. That’s the betrayal. Burnout isn’t fixed with a candle or pedicure.

It’s like we constantly have a check engine line flickering and we aren’t even sure what we need anymore.

There’s lots of discussion about boundaries. But boundaries are a privilege. That no has a cost. That cost is high for many who don’t have a luxury of saying no without consequences.

What happens if we say NO to a parent? To our child? To our spouse? To our boss or coworker? To a sister or friend? Often, there is pushback or negativity or toxic behavior. Seldom is there respect and understanding.

As women, especially as wives and mothers, many of us have been conditioned to believe that our needs come last. Some of us have even been trained to think we shouldn’t have any needs at all. The presumption is that our wellbeing doesn’t matter or the only way that it could ever matter is if it leads to more wellbeing for the kids.

Biologically, we want our children to have their needs met, even to our own detriment. Selflessness is our value. But even in emergencies, we are instructed to place the oxygen mask on ourselves before placing them on our children. We shouldn’t be martyrs.

If we cannot breathe, we cannot help another.

But what is real self-care?

There are lots of metaphors and people have different needs.

We really, truly do not have to compare ourselves to others – to past generations, to our neighbors or siblings or friends, and certainly NOT to anyone we see with picture perfect curated social media accounts.

We don’t have to do what they tell us.

“Eudemonic wellbeing is based on this theory of wellbeing means that your values, your internal values, and your life choices are aligned. It’s the opposite of hedonic wellbeing which means that wellbeing is the absence of suffering.” – Pooja Lakshmin

We each have choices to make. We must envision what life we desire. How do we want our weeknights, weekends, and holidays to look? Do we want family dinner every night or the sports practices and lessons with the kids every evening? There never seems to be a third option.

Self-care means self-awareness and self-acceptance. Sometimes, things just suck. Acknowledging that, figuring out what you might be able to change, and getting support can help. But the first step is to let yourself feel your feelings.

Let’s move away from performative ideas of self care that we see in commercials. We need to curate a life we don’t need a vacation from.

We need to fill up our tanks – our “energy reservoirs.” We can’t wait around and expect others to do that for us. We must learn how to be self-aware and seek out what we need. If we can keep even some of our reservoirs full, we will feel much more fulfilled and capable.

Our energy reservoirs are: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, social.

We need to make sure all the tanks get frequently refilled. We can only neglect a tank for a little while before it feels overwhelming.

Physical

This physical reservoir relates to our physical health, our physical wellbeing.

This pertains to how we sleep, eat, exercise. There are also negatives that drain our tanks – such as drug or alcohol use, smoking or vaping, poor hygiene, sporadic diet, lack of sleep, being sedentary.

Many people focus on the physical tank to the detriment of other tanks. It’s easy to recognize when this tank needs filling. But remember, the body never lies.

Some issues with this tank when others are too long neglected are hyperfocusing on food or exercise to the point of addiction or disorder.

Mental

Our mental tanks are about our knowledge and wisdom and how we use that.

I need my mental tank much more stimulated and refilled more often than some other people I know. This sometimes makes it hard for me to replenish my mental tank and I often just need to retreat to be alone to read or research or meditate. It’s often difficult that I don’t have anyone to discuss current events or art or books with, so I just ferment in my grief.

Some love the history documentaries or reading or doing puzzles. There are seasons when this tank is used more or less. We should have a hobby we don’t have to monetize.

Emotional

Emotional batteries run on emotional intelligence.

We need to become aware of our emotions and how to regulate our reactions to the emotions of ourselves and others. Many of us need to work on self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. We weren’t taught these things and it creates a lot of conflict that could be avoided.

There are no bad emotions. Many of use can’t handle anger or any negativity. Anger is not a bad thing, but it can take over if it is not properly managed.

We can learn nonviolent communication and practice healthy conflict resolution.

Spiritual

Spirituality is not just about religion. It’s mostly about morals, kindness, self-compassion and relationships.

Some of us prefer to spend time in nature like forest bathing or volunteering to boost our spiritual cravings. Music and art can help us achieve our spiritual needs. Meditation and worship are very popular ways to boost this tank.

Social

Our social tank is refueled when we spend time with people we care about and who genuinely care about us.

Social connection is important and often overlooked. We live in a disconnected world. So many of us experience loneliness, even when surrounded by so many people.

I do not care for transactional relationships. I prefer quality over quantity. I also like and need to be alone, which is confusing and distressing to some people who thrive with more social interaction.

“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence. It is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” – Audre Lorde

The stressors are most likely not going to go away, but they can be prioritized.

Resources:

  • Real Self-Care by Pooja Lakshmin, MD
  • Nonviolent Communication by Marshall B. Rosenberg, PhD
  • The Body Never Lies by Alice Miller
  • Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson
  • Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman, PhD
  • It Didn’t Start with You by Mark Wolynn
  • What Happened to You? by Bruce D. Perry

You might also like:

  • Emotional Health
  • Toxic Positivity
  • How to Maintain a Healthy Lifestyle
  • I Tried Therapy
  • Prioritizing Rest
  • Women’s Health
Share
Pin6
Share
6 Shares
You might also like:

Filed Under: Health Tagged With: growth, health, stress

Hair Care after 40

This blog may contain affiliate links: disclosure.
Please see my suggested resources.

June 3, 2024 By Jennifer Lambert 13 Comments

I recently noticed I have a bald spot on the crown of my head.

It’s embarrassing and baffling and upsetting.

I have noticed I have much less hair these last few years. I used to wrap a hair band around twice and it was tight, but now it can wrap around about five or six times.

It’s funny that all the fairy tales of the wicked stepmothers, queens, and aging women…are in a personal battle against the wrinkles and gray hair…while being devastated by the presence of the young and effortlessly beautiful princesses with their bright skin and gorgeous hair.

It’s like watching ourselves waste away and become useless and undesirable while the girls become their most powerful.

It certainly reduces our confidence.

Sure, I could cut my hair short or style it differently. I don’t really want to accept it. I won’t go without a fight.

I know many say to go all natural and avoid heat and chemicals. Most of us know how to keep our healthy by not overheating, overstyling, not using damaging tight hair bands all the time.

I only go to a salon about every quarter for a cut and partial highlights. It’s so frustrating finding a new stylist every time we move with the military. I adored my stylist in Utah – Brianna! I didn’t color my hair in Germany. It took me so long when we moved to Ohio to get an update.

It took me a long time to find a stylist in Ohio. Here is my first cut and color in Ohio in 2017, then Stephanie quit the business. The lighting is awful, but this was such a pretty cut and color.

I went shorter and assymetrical for a couple years, but I never liked that salon or the stylists after Stephanie left. It took me years to find someone I like and trust.

Then COVID hit and all the salons closed. My long straight hair did me no favors in 2021.

My hair grew so long until I found my stylist Jena.

I am so happy with my stylist Jena now. I love her pricing and I am in and out in about an hour.

Here’s my latest hair update for summer 2024:

I think the shorter length and lots of layers help disguise my thinning hair.

What can we do to minimize or reverse hair loss as we age?

Medical checkup

It’s always a good idea to rule out medical issues when we have any symptoms that are concerning.

Some prescription or even OTC medications could cause hair loss, like those prescribed for blood pressure.

There is a phenomenon called “COVID hair” that many suffer from with hair loss or thinning.

Stress often affects our health and appearance. Reducing stress and changing our lifestyle, getting enough sleep, etc., can really help us.

Request labs or bloodwork to check for iron deficiency or anemia, thyroid complications, hormones, vitamin D deficiency. All of these concerns can affect our hair and skin in addition to our overall health.

A dermatologist referral can often check scalp health to determine if hair health is a skin issue like alopecia. They can also prescribe products that are more powerful than over-the-counter items.

Some women may benefit from HRT, that could help a variety of symptoms.

What hair care products can help with hair loss or thinning?

Many of these remedies can help our overall health and we can age gracefully and beautifully and confidently.

Topical

Even if we have underlying health concerns, we can use topical solutions to help our hair look and be healthier.

Hair care products with rosemary, lavendar, tea tree oil can help our hair grow while looking and feeling thicker and healthier.

Essential oils like rosemary, cedarwood, lavender, ylang ylang, clary sage mixed in witch hazel or a nourishing oil like castor oil can help promote hair growth.

Castor oil is an ancient remedy to help our skin glow. Scalp massage is a nice way to relax or put a silk cap on and sleep while it soaks in real good.

DHT Blocker products can help. Dihydrotestosterone (DHT) is a leading cause of alopecia and hair loss associated with PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome).

Minoxidil or Rogaine as the name brand has often been used for men, but women can use a diluted version or not as frequently to limit side effects. There are also ingestible tablets that can be prescribed. There are generic versions of liquid and foam applications at Walmart and other stores for cheaper cost.

Nioxin are hair care products for several hair and scalp concerns.

Some products recommended by ladies in my online groups:

  • BondiBoost 
  • Vegamour
  • Viviscal

(I won’t recommend some popular MLM products that keep getting recommended online.)

Supplements

Many of these are recommended by some ladies in my online groups. I take lots of supplements and vitamins every morning.

I’ve taken Nature’s Bounty Optimal Solutions Hair, Skin & Nails for years.

Prenatal vitamins often have a lot of what our bodies want and need and can be an easy and more cost effective fix.

Nutrafol – this is super expensive, but gets rave reviews from so many people. I assume it’s easier to take one supplement that has everything we need than a lot and it probably breaks even.

Multi B Complex – help stimulate the hair growth cycle and many health benefits.

Biotin – water-soluble B vitamin that helps in hair thinning, hair loss, and other hair problems like scalp dryness or rough hair.

Collagen – helps improve hair by providing amino acids and fighting damaged hair follicles.

Maca – growth booster & hair loss prevention active ingredient rich in peptides & sugars.

Zinc – a potent inhibitor of hair follicle regression and it accelerates hair follicle recovery.

Vitamin E – helps support a healthy scalp and hair as it has natural antioxidant effects.

Vitamin D – influences hair follicle cycling and so important for our overall health.

Saw Palmetto – wards off hair loss and increase hair density by decreasing levels of 5-alpha reductase, a specific enzyme related to hair loss.

Horsetail – helps reduce hair loss and boosts the strength of hair and hair follicles besides adding shine and luster to the hair. Aids in bone health.

Methylsulfonylmethane (MSM) can help some, but it upsets my tummy. It is a sulfur compound known for its anti-inflammatory effect. It may also support hair growth.

Foods

It’s always wise to eat our way to health and beauty. We won’t see instant results, but long-term, we should have health benefits.

Protein and Collagen – rich in amino acids that your body needs to build keratin, the protein that makes up hair.

Green tea – the primary plant chemical called epigallocatechin gallate (EGCG), is associated with health benefits like weight loss, heart health, and brain health.

Coconut Oil – applications in beauty, skin care, hair care, and overall health because it contains a high percentage of fat from medium-chain triglycerides (MCTs), primarily in the form of lauric acid.

Onions – high content of antioxidants like quercetin.

Turmeric – shown to reduce pain from arthritis, improve cholesterol levels, and enhance exercise recovery.

Pumpkin Seeds – rich in iron, zinc, magnesium, and antioxidants. can also work as a DHT blocker.

Edamame – soy with isoflavones can reduce DHT levels.

Often the undesirable symptoms we see in our hair, skin, and nails can be an underlying health issues we need to address. It is not wrong or vain to want to feel and look our best.

We need to talk about women’s health and aging without shame.

Resources:

  • The New Menopause: Navigating Your Path Through Hormonal Change with Purpose, Power, and Facts by Mary Claire Haver, MD
  • It’s Not Hysteria: Everything You Need to Know About Your Reproductive Health (but Were Never Told) by Dr. Karen Tang
  • The Menopause Brain: New Science Empowers Women to Navigate the Pivotal Transition with Knowledge and Confidence by Lisa Mosconi, PhD
  • The Menopause Manifesto: Own Your Health with Facts and Feminism by Dr. Jen Gunter
  • Hysterical: Why We Need to Talk About Women, Hormones, and Mental Health by Eleanor Morgan
  • I’m So Effing Tired: A Proven Plan to Beat Burnout, Boost Your Energy, and Reclaim Your Life by Amy Shah, MD
  • Motherwhelmed: Challenging Norms, Untangling Truths, and Restoring Our Worth to the World by Beth Berry

You might also like:

  • My Laparoscopic Myomectomy
  • Midlife Crisis
  • Women’s Health
Share
Pin6
Share
6 Shares
You might also like:

Filed Under: Health Tagged With: beauty, menopause, women

Midlife Crisis

This blog may contain affiliate links: disclosure.
Please see my suggested resources.

October 11, 2023 By Jennifer Lambert 4 Comments

There is no such thing as spiritual warfare the way the evangelicals want us to believe. I spent too many years thinking that everything wrong or bad that happened in my life was the result of demonic powers or a negative spirit world. It created a lot of stress, but also releases a lot of people from any responsibility for their actions or reactions.

Obviously, young people are prone to doing stupid things. They’re expected to make mistakes and their youth and inexperience justifies poor decisions. This is the reason why auto insurance is so high until we’re age 25. Our brains aren’t developed enough yet to make wise decisions.

But there comes a point when we should be older and wiser.

There are many who get older, but not wiser.

There are healthy decisions and unhealthy decisions. As we get older and more mature, we tend to want to remove the chaff from the wheat of our lives. We realize what is truly important and we begin to weed out the toxins and streamline what and where we want our focus.

If we had smoother beginnings, then that point may come sooner rather than later or take an easier transition.

My husband and his two sisters had an idyllic life growing up, oblivious to anything negative in their little bubbles on their midwest farm, with their parents both teachers, and grandparents nearby. I like to joke that they had perfect linear trajectories with few blips. But I don’t see a lot of growth in them, since they’ve never know any real adversity.

I am jealous that my trajectory was a big squiggle. I am furious that my kids don’t have any extended family, but here we are, now.

We all know the cliché of the midlife crisis – when men buy a sports car and seek a divorce from the mother of the children to pursue a younger, more exciting woman, desperately trying to hold on to their youth or some idealized versions of themselves from high school or college.

This is a shallow idea of what a midlife crisis could be.

Not everyone goes out and blows a lot of money on a sports car. Not everyone divorces and gets a newer younger model spouse. Not everyone changes careers or moves across the country or world to start anew. Sometimes, it’s quieter, more internal turmoil.

When we reach our midpoint in life – and that period is surely different for everyone – we begin to analyze everything. The results are vastly different from individual to individual.

Autumn Living

The word crisis comes from the Greek κρίνω krinō, which means “distinguish, choose, decide” or “to separate, to sift” or “to pass judgement, to keep only what is worth while.”

Many of us experience multiple coinciding midlife crises – several all at once – and it creates a lot of stress if we don’t know how to approach these changes.

In the USA, the word crisis may seem like a negative one. We may prefer to express this stage of our lives as autumnal. We have surely lived through the spring and summer years, and we are beginning to slow down and dig deeper into the meanings and connections we have made in ourselves.

Maybe growing older is about taking risks and not living in fear.

Women’s bodies are amazing and I think that perimenopause is a bossy invitation to midlife women to stop putting ourselves last and to tell the truth about what we truly want for the years we have left.

A Life in Progress

Physical

The metabolism slows down.

Weight appears out of nowhere and decides to stick around. My knees crackle and pop and my feet and ankles hurt much of the time.

I’m learning that some foods and drinks affect my body adversely, so they need to be limited or cut out entirely. And it’s sad that I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted!

I now have to be mindful of my diet and exercise more and differently to maintain health and reduce joint pain.

Spiritual

We should be maturing spiritually, but I’m sad to see so many people holding onto static beliefs and negative feelings when they should be embracing more expansion in love and tolerance.

We stopped attending church because no one was growing and it just continued to become frustrating and then dangerous to expose our family to such hateful ideology.

I read constantly and expose myself to dissenting views because I want to grow. I want to be challenged.

Financial

Ironically, many people are in the top of their career and income earning years, just as kids are becoming more independent and needing fewer material goods.

This is a great time to review investments and plan better for retirement, limit and reduce unsecured debt, and set up or continue college accounts and trust funds for children and grandchildren.

I don’t agree at all with the people who want their kids to suffer because they suffered. I grew up in a lower income working class family. I have know educational and consumer debt. I struggled some months which bill to pay and which to gamble with until another month, even with late fees. I want my kids to be free of financial strain.

Retirement

It’s often a frightening time to approach retirement after decades of job security and the patterns of working regularly.

Many experience depression without the routine they’re used to having. They miss being needed.

When the schedule slows down, it becomes glaringly obvious that there isn’t enough wholesome or interesting activity to fill the time.

It’s a good time to renew hobbies or explore new interests.

Family

For many of us in our midlife years, we are simultaneously dealing with aging parents and fledgling adult children.

I am heartbroken that our families have chosen not to maintain a relationship with us. Out of sight, out of mind. My kids don’t know their grandparents or aunts.

Whereas my parents were and are very out of touch with me and popular culture, I strive to keep up with trends so I know what my kids are interested in and exposed to. I do refuse to get SnapChat or TikTok, but my kids send me the fun clips they know I like and I can see them posted on other forms of social media. I follow accounts and read articles and watch movies and shows that challenge me and keep me up to date. Urban Dictionary is my friend when I don’t understand a new slang term or concept!

Social-Emotional

We begin or continue to examine ourselves and our pasts to ensure a better future for ourselves and our families.

I read and commune with nature. I enjoy the arts. I grow.

I try to limit stress. I don’t like to be rushed. I am able to plan and be proactive.

We all have regrets.

We should desire to make amends.

We sometimes burn bridges.

We end generational trauma.

Two of my kids are in therapy. I have tried therapy many times for myself.

What I would prefer at this point is revolution.

At 47.5 years, I’m seeing myself quite alone in my journey and it sometimes saddens me.

Linking up: Randomosity, Silverado, Suburbia, Random Musings, Anita Ojeda, GraceFilled, Grammy’s Grid, Joanne Viola, Perfectly Imperfect, Jeanne Takenaka, Jenerally Informed, Life Tales, Esme Salon, RidgeHaven, InstaEncouragements, Mostly Blogging, Create with Joy, Ducks in a Row, Fluster Buster, LouLou Girls, Marsha in Middle, Two Chicks, Shelbee on the Edge, Answer is Choco, Katherine’s Corner, Momfessionals, POCO, Lisa Notes, Crazy Little Lovebirds, Pam’s Party, Pieced Pastimes, Eclectic Red Barn,

Share
Pin5
Share
5 Shares
You might also like:

Filed Under: Health Tagged With: faith, growth, menopause, women

Women’s Health

This blog may contain affiliate links: disclosure.
Please see my suggested resources.

February 6, 2023 By Jennifer Lambert 2 Comments

Women are not just small men. Aristotle was wrong.

All the books and articles and research into health care and practices over centuries focused on men.

There is still so little we know about women and our anatomy and all the experiences surrounding women’s experiences with adolescence, fertility, menstruation, breast health, childbearing, menopause.

We are constantly ridiculed in doctor’s offices. Our pain is waved away. It’s all in our heads. Are we overweight? Are we imagining it? We’re told to take ibuprofen, try a warm bath, don’t stress.

Our symptoms don’t exhibit the same way for the same conditions as men’s symptoms are more well-known.

I had an abortion when I was 22.

I was a different person then – scared, poor and in debt, no insurance, newly married and separated from an abusive man I would later divorce, shamed by evangelicals, finishing my master’s degree, and in line for my first real job.

I wrote about my abortion here. I’m tired of editing that article, so I’m writing this one from a different place. I think the trajectory of my life would be drastically different if I had not had that abortion. I certainly don’t think my life would be better. It was a difficult choice, but I still think it was the right choice despite all the trauma it caused.

My parents kind of forced me into it like I was a young shamed teenager. They convinced me I would be ruined for life, saddled with a child too young and unable to really care for it properly. In a way, they were right, but they were not very helpful, caring, or supportive.

My parents never spoke to me about it again after that day.

Not talking about it is worse.

My first husband told me to tell his family that I had a miscarriage due to the stress of our separation, and I stupidly went back to him out of guilt or something. But that’s another story.

The evangelical Christian church shamed me. They told me that my baby or baby’s soul would look down on me from heaven in disgust. I would never deserve to have more children. I was unfit to be a mother. I was a murderer. I was a sinner beyond forgiveness. They wanted me to be haunted and scared forever. They relished my discomfort.

This is control.

I don’t attend church anymore.

But those lies still live in me – the patriarchy, the spiritual abuse, the hatred and disdain.

All four of my childbirth experiences were traumatic. Medicalized childbirth is dangerous and I was treated like a thing and condescended to by all the medical professionals and my own family members.

I have three teens who were born with uteruses and my fourth child is a boy. I am 46 and haven’t reached menopause yet.

It’s taken me this long to be able to come to terms with all the problems I have faced with my health. And I am a very healthy person. I cannot even imagine what other women face with their health if they have chronic pain or illness or weight.

And if I, a WHITE WOMAN with wealth, health, and great insurance experience so many issues with receiving good health care, what in the world is happening to poor women? to women of color? to women who are seen as other? Women are often left without care, with less than stellar care, with little or no pain management, ridiculed and humiliated.

Women are DYING.

Government Intervention

I am beyond devastated that states are enacting forced birth laws and government-mandated childbirth.

I’m concerned about what could happen to my children or even myself if there were unwanted pregnancies from rape or complications with wanted pregnancies. So many news articles discuss doctors unable to perform necessary procedures to save a mother’s life during ectopic or miscarriage.

In August 2022, a pregnant Missouri woman named Mylissa Farmer suddenly needed an abortion, just over a month after her state enacted its near-total abortion ban. Her water had broken 17 weeks into her pregnancy, and her medical records indicated a number of health factors placing her at greater risk of pregnancy-related complications, including increased risk of sepsis, loss of her uterus, and even death. Farmer is also 41-years-old. Doctors treating her recommended an abortion, but, of course, couldn’t provide her one under state law. Source: Jezebel

When one side of the “discussion” decides that the other side is murdering babies, there isn’t a discussion anymore – there’s a war.

I don’t want to hear your arguments for overturning Roe v. Wade. I don’t want to hear your pro-life praise.

At six weeks, it is “cardiac activity” (no organ has formed) in an embryo that is smaller than a grain of rice. It is not a “fetal heartbeat.”

Most of us love life and babies. Babies are a miracle. I do NOT support forcing pregnancy or childbirth on anyone who doesn’t want it.

Forcing sterilization on anyone is eugenics.

Pro-Life?

The pro-forced birthers are really good at marketing.

Pro-life is a misnomer. It’s simple politics. Pro-lifers only care about white men who are valuable to the capitalist machine. Children, disabled, poor people…these are not valuable. Women are not valuable. People of color are not valuable; they are seen as a threat.

I’ve seen hundreds of tweets about telling women to stop having sex if they don’t want to get pregnant but I’ve seen few calls for men to become celibate or sterile. It will never cease to amaze me how little men are blamed for getting someone pregnant. This is about control and patriarchy.

Men don’t suffer in childbirth; there is no risk involved for men. So many mothers forced into motherhood and risking their lives to give birth. Where will all the unwanted babies go? We already have overwhelming numbers of children in foster care.

My eldest and I have Mirena IUDs, supposedly to regulate and reduce our periods, which doesn’t always work.

My husband had a vasectomy after our fourth child (a boy) was born, and no one asked for my consent!

I’ve read some politicians are wanting to limit contraceptive devices. This is a frightening misuse of power that will endanger so many lives.

Some states are enacting obscenity laws about gendered clothing, or rules for girls playing sports that require menstruation tracking.

Anyone can have an opinion. Your opinion should only govern you. Celebrating policy that revokes the rights of millions is not an opinion; it’s bad politics. No one cares about your opinion. It’s your politics that’s a problem.

Women in Pain

It is ridiculous that I tell my kids to exaggerate and I also have to exaggerate my symptoms or pain levels to be taken seriously. I have often sent my kids to the ER or a regular doctor appointment with my husband, their father, to ensure they receive better care. I often have my husband accompany me to appointments like I am an inept child because I have received poor care in the past and the medical professionals will often talk to him about me like I’m not even in the room.

Also, women should be able to be sedated during IUD explant and implantation. It’s a very painful procedure, even after childbirth. The medical community doesn’t care about women’s discomfort. We can get more help from dentists for procedures than we can for procedures involving women’s parts.

Women can’t get labs when we want to know why we have symptoms. See this thread.

I know I have been dismissed many times when suffering from “women’s problems.” I suffered for years with incontinence and fibroids. I have seen the other women in my family suffer with urinary and gyno issues and receive no care.

Out of desperation, women turn to dangerous supplements and herbs, trying to relieve pain and discomfort and symptoms.

There is no such thing as hormonal balance and no herb/plant can change hormone levels.

Dr. Jennifer Gunter

Women can’t request sterilization. So many doctors refuse elective procedures like tubal ligations or hysterectomies during child-bearing years. These doctors require waiting periods, spousal consent, and other demeaning concepts (like questioning “what if something happens to your living children?” or “what if you change your mind?” or “surely you want to try for another child of the other gender?”) because women do not have bodily autonomy.

Also, insurance often does not cover elective or preventive procedures like pelvic floor therapy.

A little over a year ago, I had surgery to remove two uterine fibroids. They really wanted to just remove all my parts because that’s easier for the doctors. I am mid-40s and it’s a military hospital. The language was so demeaning. There was no follow-up or recovery care.

Rape Culture

Not enough people are talking about consent and rape culture. We need to teach all genders consent from a very early age, practicing with babies even! We need to change how we view bodies and autonomy. Most of us were taught sex ed from a high school sports coach and that’s tragic.

I constantly see articles in the news and on social media protecting abusers and hushing victims of abuse and assault. The pastors are transferred to another church and the women are told to keep quiet, pray more, forgive. Comedians are not really cancelled and are selling out auditoriums while the abused women are silenced and suffer. The #MeToo and #ChurchToo movements did some to help, but it’s not enough and there are still rape apologists who make the road harder.

And for the people who claim they would never get an abortion, great! But you don’t get to decide for everyone. You never know the circumstances and decisions others must make for themselves.

Also, period products should be FREE.

Resources:

  • The Vagina Bible: The Vulva and the Vagina: Separating the Myth from the Medicine by Dr. Jen Gunter 
  • The Menopause Manifesto: Own Your Health with Facts and Feminism by Dr. Jen Gunter 
  • I’m So Effing Tired: A Proven Plan to Beat Burnout, Boost Your Energy, and Reclaim Your Life by Dr. Amy Shah 
  • Sex Ed Booklist
  • Consent
  • Why I Don’t Teach Purity
  • 10 Things I Want to Tell My Children
  • My Laparoscopic Myomectomy
  • I Tried Therapy
  • Exvangelical
  • Choices Matter in Pain Management
  • No More Incontinence
Share
Pin24
Share
24 Shares
You might also like:

Filed Under: Health Tagged With: health, menopause, sex, women

IC drug linked to blindness and eye problems

This blog may contain affiliate links: disclosure.
Please see my suggested resources.

November 18, 2022 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

If you’re one of the 1 million men or 3 million women suffering from IC, or interstitial cystitis, you’re probably all too familiar with the bladder pain, frequency and urgency that make this condition so debilitating. While there are many treatments available to help ease IC symptoms, one drug commonly used to treat IC – Elmiron – may be doing more harm than good. This IC drug linked to blindness and eye problems, and can pose a threat to your quality of life.

Why is Elmiron so dangerous?

Elmiron is the only FDA-approved oral medication for IC, and it’s been on the market for over 20 years. While it’s generally considered safe, there have been mounting reports and studies that show of serious eye problems associated with Elmiron use, including vision loss, retinal pigmentary changes, and maculopathy. In fact, a rare disorder known as Pigmentary Maculopathy has been linked to Elmiron.

Pigmentary maculopathy is a degenerative eye disease that leads to vision loss, and it’s thought to be caused by the accumulation of Elmiron in the retina. This build-up of Elmiron can lead to vision problems, and in some cases, blindness.

Other symptoms to look out for include:

  • Blurry vision
  • Difficulty reading
  • Eye fatigue
  • Central vision loss
  • Difficulty adjusting to light

If you’re currently taking Elmiron or have taken it in the past, it’s important to be aware of these potential side effects. If you experience any vision changes, be sure to see an eye doctor right away for a comprehensive eye exam. While there is no cure for pigmentary maculopathy, early diagnosis and treatment can help slow the progression of the disease and preserve your vision.

What to Do If You’ve Been Affected

If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with pigmentary maculopathy or another eye condition after taking Elmiron, you may be eligible for compensation. Many patients have already filed lawsuits against the drug’s manufacturer, Janssen Pharmaceuticals, alleging that the company failed to warn patients of the risks associated with Elmiron.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t until 2020 that the FDA issued a warning about the potential risks of Elmiron. By then, it was too late for many patients who had already been affected.

If you’ve been diagnosed with an eye condition after taking Elmiron, you may be able to join ongoing litigation or file your own individual lawsuit. An experienced attorney can help you understand your legal options and get compensation.

Will I Be Compensated for My Injuries?

If you or a loved one has suffered from vision loss, retinal changes, or another eye condition after taking Elmiron, you may be able to get compensation for your injuries. Financial compensation can help cover the cost of medical bills, lost wages, and pain and suffering.

There are other factors that will determine if you’re eligible for compensation, such as:

  • Length of time you took Elmiron
  • When you took Elmiron (Before 2010)
  • Dosage of Elmiron you were taking
  • Whether you experienced symptoms while taking Elmiron
  • Whether you continued to take Elmiron after experiencing symptoms
  • Whether you’ve been diagnosed with an eye condition

Should I Join a Class Action Lawsuit or File My Own Individual Lawsuit?

If you’ve been affected by Elmiron, you may be wondering if you should join an ongoing class action lawsuit or file your own individual lawsuit. The answer depends on your unique situation.

An experienced attorney can help you understand your legal options and what’s best for you. To date, thousands of people have already filed and are awaiting further action. You can be updated on the lawsuit’s status by registering your information with a personal injury lawyer.

Share
Pin
Share
0 Shares
You might also like:

Filed Under: Health

Toxic Positivity

This blog may contain affiliate links: disclosure.
Please see my suggested resources.

October 12, 2022 By Jennifer Lambert 7 Comments

I’m tired of everyone needing good vibes only, all the time.

It’s irrational and unhealthy to think that everything has to be positive and up, high, cheerful.

We are a culture obsessed with happiness at all costs.

Toxic positivity is the belief that no matter how dire or difficult a situation is, people should maintain a positive mindset. Toxic positivity can be defined as the excessive and ineffective overgeneralization of a happy, optimistic state across all situations. The process of toxic positivity results in the denial, minimization, and invalidation of the authentic human emotional experience.

Common expressions of toxic positivity:

  1. Hiding/Masking your true feelings.
  2. Trying to “just get on with it” by stuffing or dismissing an emotion.
  3. Feeling guilty for feeling what you feel.
  4. Minimizing other people’s experiences with “feel good” quotes or statements.
  5. Trying to give someone perspective instead of validating their emotional experience (“It could be worse”).
  6. Shaming or chastising others for expressing frustration or anything other than positivity.
  7. Brushing off things that are bothering you with “It is what it is.”

My parents cannot handle any negativity.

My husband cannot handle any negativity.

I’ve been told multiple times that I am not to complain or blame for anything. So what they’re telling me is to suck it up, that they refuse to apologize, admit any wrongs, or make any amends or changes.

For my parents, this means that they found a therapist to confirm they were ideal parents, did no wrong, and that I am the problem, an ungrateful child. I was never abused. I am delusional. They’re so sorry they didn’t love me the way I wanted. They refuse to make amends. They have no relationship with my kids, their only grandchildren.

For my husband, he just sighs whenever I lodge any complaint whatsoever, whether it’s about a dirty counter or coffee cup left in the living room or something more important. He is in absolute denial that he was ever abused by anyone, ever, and maybe he did have an idyllic childhood, but he can’t express himself as an adult. He has severe alexithymia. He bottles up everything and cannot have a conversation about really anything. He has no friends and no interests. He would rather take prescription meds for depression and live in denial that he has ADHD or anxiety symptoms nor will he admit he needs to make any attempt to improvements in his relationships with me and the kids.

I am not a pessimistic person. I am a realist. I have spent years trying to heal and be emotionally healthy. Often, I feel like I am beating my head against a brick wall because my parents and husband just cruise along, oblivious to almost everything in the world, and certainly oblivious to relationship struggles.

I am utterly alone.

I am trying to raise four children with healthy emotions.

This means that we feel all the feels. Sometimes, that is triggering for adults who can’t relate to their own inner turmoil. We have to sit with our feelings and name them and understand them. We can’t just push them down or lash out at others.

I’m so tired of feeling angry or sad all the time because my needs aren’t met.

I’m exhausted from the toll my emotional labor takes when I have to remember all the things and I can never, ever drop one ball for even a moment.

Don’t wish me happiness
I don’t expect to be happy all the time…
It’s gotten beyond that somehow.
Wish me courage and strength and a sense of humor.
I will need them all.

 Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gift from the Sea

Too many of us have been taught that we can’t show any “negative” emotions. Our society loves positivity. There are books and blogs and shows about how to be happy. We are conditioned by school and church and work environments always to look on the bright side and paste on a smile, especially women.

What can we say instead of “negative” emotions?

We can use words like “painful, unpleasant, and difficult” to describe emotions that express frustration, anger, or sorrow.

Or we can use:

  • Uncomfortable emotions
  • Emotions we like to avoid
  • Less preferred emotions

Feelings are just…feelings. Emotions are generally neutral and we as a society define them to a spectrum of good or bad, positive or negative.

I understand that constant complaining is hard to be around. It sucks the energy out of you. That’s a whole other issue to work through, but being told to think more positively isn’t helpful.

I’m not saying we should give in to depression, but neither should we always look on the bright side of things to our detriment.

We need to talk more about our feelings. We need to teach our children what feelings are so they can name them, feel them, process them, and move on. We can’t continue to be scared of anger or sadness.

So many of us were abused as children and we just thought this was normal. And it was just so normalized that we didn’t know to question it. Everyone was humiliated at school and at home. Our peers modeled what they learned from the adults in our lives.

We have generations of people who grew up and weren’t allowed or taught to feel their emotions. Now, they’re adults with alexithymia or other inabilities to process their emotions and this affects all their relationships and creates issues at work and in their families and friendships.

You can’t appreciate the highs without the lows.

We need societal healing with all our feelings.

This article sure hit home: 10 Things You Won’t Remember Experiencing If You Had Toxic Parents

What is it to be hopeful and not optimistic? The American novelist Barbara Kingsolver explains it this way: “I have been thinking a lot lately about the difference between being optimistic and being hopeful. I would say that I’m a hopeful person, although not necessarily optimistic. Here’s how I would describe it. The pessimist would say, ‘It’s going to be a terrible winter; we’re all going to die.’ The optimist would say, ‘Oh, it’ll be all right; I don’t think it’ll be that bad. The hopeful person would say, ‘Maybe someone will still be alive in February, so I’m going to put some potatoes in the root cellar just in case.’ … Hope is ….a mode of resistance…. a gift I can try to cultivate.”

Joan Halifax

Resources:

  • Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships by Marshall B. Rosenberg
  • The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk
  • Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman
  • Mothers Who Can’t Love: A Healing Guide for Daughters by Susan Forward
  • Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration by Karen C.L. Anderson
  • I Hate You – Don’t Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality by Jerold J. Kreisman
  • Recovering from Narcissistic Mothers: A Daughter’s Guide by Brenda Stephens
  • Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers by Karyl McBride
  • Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself by Shahida Araby
  • Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents: Practical Tools to Establish Boundaries and Reclaim Your Emotional Autonomy by Lindsay C. Gibson
  • Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson
  • When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chodron
  • The Empath’s Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People by Judith Orloff
  • The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You by Elaine N. Aron
  • The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When The World Overwhelms Them by Elaine N. Aron
  • The Dance of Anger: A Woman’s Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships by Harriet Lerner
  • The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You’re Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate by Harriet Lerner
  • The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living by Russ Harris
from Seeds Planted in Concrete by Bianca Sparacino 

You might also like:

  • I Tried Therapy
  • Breaking the Cycle of Negativity
  • Grieving Family Who Are Still Alive
  • Emotional Health
  • Dealing with Disappointment
  • Regret
  • Tired
  • Ashamed
  • I’m Angry
  • I am not insignificant

Linking up: Eclectic Red Barn, Pam’s Party, Pinch of Joy, April Harris, Homestead, Create with Joy, Mostly Blogging, Jenerally Informed, LouLou Girls, InstaEncouragements, Suburbia, Silverado, Stone Cottage, OMHG, Fluster Buster, Soaring with Him, Joanne Viola, Jeanne Takenaka, Ridge Haven, Ducks in a Row, Penny’s Passion, Try it Like it, Artful Mom, Slices of Life, Imparting Grace, Answer is Choco, Monticello, Momfessionals, Lisa Notes, Being a Wordsmith, Pam’s Party, Pieced Pastimes, Random Musings,

Share
Pin24
Share
24 Shares
You might also like:

Filed Under: Health Tagged With: mental health, relationships

Staying Balanced

This blog may contain affiliate links: disclosure.
Please see my suggested resources.

September 26, 2022 By Jennifer Lambert 5 Comments

It was hard for me to learn how to balance when my kids were little – juggling all their needs while homeschooling and caring for the home, sometimes while my husband was deployed.

Lately, I find myself almost bored, lost with too much time and not enough to do.

I find myself thinking: shhh, slow down. To myself, to my kids.

My eldest is all on her own. My heart breaks a little with every struggle she faces.

My middle two are attending university this year with CCP. The first time they’ve ever attended a school! My heart is aflutter. I know they’ll do fine, but it’s all just so new. And new is often scary.

And then there was one.

My son is twelve and we anticipate a fun year as we move into high school homeschool work. He’s worried he will be lonely without his siblings! He has no desire for a co-op or group activities or field trips.

I’ve seen so many changes this last year in my kids. They need me less and less and that’s a good thing, but it is also bittersweet. I strive to teach them a healthy work-life balance – in spite of our society’s values and the other authorities in their lives.

There are so many opportunities everywhere that it’s sometimes hard to choose and narrow down the choices so we’re not overwhelmed.

It seems the expectations increase the older my kids get.

But we don’t have to follow the crowd and do everything that everyone else does.

Balancing Act

I want my kids to be healthy in mind and body – and having a busy schedule with work, school, and activities often does not allow for this. It seems only to get worse and busier as the kids get older. I struggle to find balance and to make time for them to eat well and sleep enough and be able to play.

Sleep Schedule

My kids seldom have to wake up early and we don’t have to fight over bedtimes. They’ve been homeschooled their whole lives. I have noticed their natural habits and I am thankful that I haven’t had to fight those normal rhythms.

We don’t have to go to bed early in order to wake up before dawn to catch a bus or stand in a drop-off line. There are no hours of silly homework or rushing to complete projects after dinner and before baths and bed.

My kids have never had to wake up early to study last minute or to complete an assignment before school because they have never attended school. They’ve never had deadlines or assignments or homework or tests.

They’re relaxed and less stressed than many of their peers who only know rushing, busyness, being tired from not enough sleep.

My two eldest daughters have jobs that sometimes require early wakeups or later hours on their schedule and it bothers me that it doesn’t have to be this way for young people. They don’t have to enter this world yet. They have chosen this and sometimes it’s hard waking up early or working late. We try to limit the teen jobs to fifteen hours a week since she started school.

I don’t do really well myself, staying up too late reading. I don’t like waking up to alarms and sometimes struggle in the mornings.

Really, we could all use a slowdown and rest more. We used to get along just fine without 24-hour stores and constant availability.

Naps are good. Rest time and down time and quiet time is needful.

Eating Schedule

We as a society struggle with eating healthy. Perhaps our busy schedules have something to do with that.

My kids eat when they’re hungry. They have a huge variety of healthy foods and some fun snacks and treats for whenever they want something.

Also, my kids can use the bathroom whenever they need to use it.

Rushing does not aid digestion. Sitting still all day, every day does not aid digestion.

I remember rushing out the door to meet the school bus while eating a poptart in the brisk morning air. I remember creeping through the lunch line for a carb-filled tray that had to be devoured in 15 minutes before heading back sit still and quiet in a classroom for three more hours. We never had water bottles and the hall water fountains either didn’t work well or the water was warm and bitter. I was constantly hungry and dehydrated.

So meal times are important to me. I want my kids to have fond memories of food and meals.

My kids have a hot breakfast every single morning.

My kids have a lovely leisurely lunch with lots of veggies.

We always have a sit-down dinner together with salad and lots of veggies.

I worry and struggle to make healthy family meals happen in spite of work and activities that constantly want to disrupt the schedule.

Play Schedule

As my kids get busier with their classes, work, and activities, I struggle to maintain some downtime for them. I want them to be kids as long as possible. I want them to play and have fun and be stress-free and worry-free.

There is plenty of time for adult things later. I want to hold on to my kids for as long as possible and protect their innocence and youthfulness.

I have tried to limit my kids’ activities so they don’t get overwhelmed. One does aerial gymnastics twice a week. One does ice skating and art. My son is on an elite baseball team. My second child has a part time job and we agreed to limit the hours to fifteen during school.

I don’t monitor screentime. I don’t have chore charts. We don’t take tests in our homeschool. We work together to get household needs accomplished. I help my kids study for their quizzes and tests.

I see so many ads and posts for tutoring and classes and courses and lessons and clubs and events. I know some families who sign their kids up for all of the things. Those children are surely exhausted, all the time. And we wonder why everyone has a disorder or mental illness? We don’t have to rush to keep up with other people who set false standards.

Babies don’t need reading or math tutors.

I want my kids to have time to play – to watch the movies, to create, to play games, get outside in nature, visit friends and festivals and amusement parks – before the rush of college and adulthood and needed jobs take hold.

Kids need time to play, time to rest, time just to be kids. While I don’t follow a strict schedule, I make time in our natural flow for meals, sleep and rest, and playing.

We all need to slow down.

I’m worried about their peers who always seem to be exhausted and rushed to the next thing.

Everything has become so unnatural.

We have replaced kids’ free time and outdoor playtime with classes indoors that are monitored by adults – teachers, coaches, nannies, babysitters, parents – tutoring sessions, sports training, music lessons, gymnastics and tumbling and parkour and ninja.

There is hardly a moment when kids have to themselves to make a decision or rest or paly naturally without supervision that they don’t know what they want without being told by an adult.

All the checklists we’re supposed to follow to prepare for college – standardized testing, scholarships, forms, meetings, sports, clubs, volunteering. We don’t have to do any of that. Everything will work out in the end no matter if we rush through it and stress about it or wait until the right timing.

I don’t want my kids so stressed out that they have no good memories of their youth.

It’s not a race.

The Holistic Psychologist

Resources:

  • The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture by Gabor Maté
  • Generation Sleepless: Why Tweens and Teens Aren’t Sleeping Enough and How We Can Help Them by Heather Turgeon and Julie Wright
  • The Sleep-Deprived Teen: Why Our Teenagers Are So Tired, and How Parents and Schools Can Help Them Thrive by Lisa L. Lewis
  • Untigering: Peaceful Parenting for the Deconstructing Tiger Parent by Iris Chen
  • Motherwhelmed: Challenging Norms, Untangling Truths, and Restoring Our Worth to the World by Beth Berry
  • Books by Daniel J. Siegel
  • Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers by Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Maté
  • Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting by Laura Markham
  • Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings: How to Stop the Fighting and Raise Friends for Life by Laura Markham
  • Jesus, the Gentle Parent: Gentle Christian Parenting by L.R. Knost
  • Rest: Why You Get More Done When You Work Less by Alex Soojung-Kim Pang 
  • Rest Is Resistance: A Manifesto by Tricia Hersey

You might also like:

  • Better Sleep
  • Stop Making Everything So Educational
  • What if kids ask to go to school?
  • How I Plan Our Homeschool Year
  • A Mother’s Résumé
  • 12 Things Homeschoolers Don’t Have to Do
  • Homeschool High School Credits
  • How to Prepare for After High School

Linking up: Eclectic Red Barn, Pinch of Joy, Silverado, Random Musings, Ridge Haven, Pam’s Party, Mostly Blogging, God’s Growing Garden, Jenerally Informed, OMHG, InstaEncouragements, LouLou Girls, Suburbia, Joanne Viola, Soaring with Him, Anita Ojeda, Fluster Buster, Ducks in a Row, Anchored Abode, Haven homestead, Slices of Life, Penny’s Passion, Katherine’s Corner, Monticello, Lisa Notes, Pieced Pastimes, Imparting Grace, Answer is Chocolate, Momfessionals, Being a Wordsmith, Pam’s Party, Create with Joy,

Share
Pin24
Share
24 Shares
You might also like:

Filed Under: Health Tagged With: health

What Men and Women Should Know About Sex Therapy

This blog may contain affiliate links: disclosure.
Please see my suggested resources.

September 20, 2022 By Jennifer Lambert 1 Comment

Sex Therapy is a therapy that men and women can use to help resolve sex-related problems. Sex therapists can offer face-to-face or telehealth sessions. Sex therapy is a highly personal process. Before you start the therapy process, you should know what to expect. Most people will need several sessions. Some therapists may require more than one visit.

Sex therapy is a form of therapy for men and women.

Therapists use various techniques to help clients improve their sex lives and build intimacy. They may also assign “homework,” which includes reading material, use of sex devices such as bullet vibrator, and watching educational videos on sex and intimacy. Clients may also be asked to perform specific physical and emotional exercises during sessions. Success will depend on the client’s commitment to the therapy.

Sexual dysfunctions, including erectile dysfunction, are often treated through sex therapy. However, the condition is often rooted in underlying psychological issues and may result in pain during sex. While drugs can help with these problems, therapists can help individuals find solutions through counseling.

It can help resolve sex-related problems.

If you’re experiencing problems with intimacy, sex therapy can help. Sex therapists help you identify and resolve the causes of your sexual problems. While sex therapy doesn’t automatically improve sex, it can help you and your partner communicate and feel more comfortable. The sessions may include reading materials or “homework assignments” that address underlying issues. While some couples go to therapy together, individual therapy can be equally beneficial.

Sex therapy can benefit couples and individuals suffering from various problems, including low self-esteem, relationship stress, and past sexual trauma. It can also help couples improve communication skills and learn new sex-related communication strategies. And unlike many types of counseling, sexual therapy does not involve sex. However, if your partner refuses to participate, it’s important to know that your therapist can help you improve your communication skills.

It can be telehealth or face-to-face.

While telehealth may seem like the best option for sex therapy, there are downsides to both options. For example, fewer therapists are available in every city, and traveling can be expensive and require multiple subway transfers. However, telehealth eliminates many of these inconveniences. But a downside to telehealth is that some companies may hire therapists with less experience to cut costs.

Unlike telehealth, face-to-face sex therapy is still a face-to-face experience. Most therapists have a private consultation room to create a safe and secure client environment. However, you can also have your session online via video chat. So while the sessions are still face-to-face, there’s a certain distance. And since sex therapy is talk therapy, you shouldn’t expect to engage in physical contact or have sexual relations during your sessions.

It is a highly personal process.

While sex therapy has received a bad rap for many years, it is a very professional and legitimate process. Sex therapy helps people with sexual issues identify the causes of their problems and work towards a resolution. A therapist will work with each person to determine what is causing their issues and then help them work through them. While it may be embarrassing to talk about your private life with a stranger, a therapist will keep an objective and professional level during the session.

The first step in sex therapy is to find a therapist you can trust. If possible, choose someone who has training in this area. You should also choose someone who you feel comfortable talking to and who understands the issues you are facing. Sex therapy can take a long time and may involve several sessions. However, it should focus on the specific issue you are experiencing and not on generalizations about sexuality.

It is not covered by insurance.

Many health insurance plans do not cover the cost of sex therapy. Some insurance plans may not cover sex therapy but may cover massage. Others might withhold information about coverage until you make a claim. If you’re not sure if your policy covers sex therapy, call your insurer to find out.

Some plans will cover sex therapy if you have a co-occurring mental health condition. If you’re considering sex therapy as a treatment for an underlying mental health issue, check with your insurance company for details. Some companies cover couples therapy as well.

Sex therapy is an important part of psychological treatment. It helps clients change their behavior and attitudes inside and outside the bedroom. While some clients attend sex therapy sessions independently, the results are generally better when their partners are involved. It’s also an evidence-based form of therapy. Insurance companies might cover sex therapy if you have a diagnosable mental disorder, but many people want to improve their intimate relationships without being diagnosed with a mental illness. They may also feel uncomfortable involving their insurance company.

Share
Pin
Share
0 Shares
You might also like:

Filed Under: Health

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • …
  • 11
  • Next Page »
Suggested Resources

Archives

Popular Posts

10 DIY Gifts with Essential Oils10 DIY Gifts with Essential Oils
Natural Remedies for HeadacheNatural Remedies for Headache
10 Natural Remedies to Keep on Hand10 Natural Remedies to Keep on Hand
Henna Hands CraftHenna Hands Craft
Homemade Turkey Divan CasseroleHomemade Turkey Divan Casserole
This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish.Accept Reject Read More
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
SAVE & ACCEPT