There is no such thing as spiritual warfare the way the evangelicals want us to believe. I spent too many years thinking that everything wrong or bad that happened in my life was the result of demonic powers or a negative spirit world. It created a lot of stress, but also releases a lot of people from any responsibility for their actions or reactions.
Obviously, young people are prone to doing stupid things. They’re expected to make mistakes and their youth and inexperience justifies poor decisions. This is the reason why auto insurance is so high until we’re age 25. Our brains aren’t developed enough yet to make wise decisions.
But there comes a point when we should be older and wiser.
There are many who get older, but not wiser.
There are healthy decisions and unhealthy decisions. As we get older and more mature, we tend to want to remove the chaff from the wheat of our lives. We realize what is truly important and we begin to weed out the toxins and streamline what and where we want our focus.
If we had smoother beginnings, then that point may come sooner rather than later or take an easier transition.
My husband and his two sisters had an idyllic life growing up, oblivious to anything negative in their little bubbles on their midwest farm, with their parents both teachers, and grandparents nearby. I like to joke that they had perfect linear trajectories with few blips. But I don’t see a lot of growth in them, since they’ve never know any real adversity.
I am jealous that my trajectory was a big squiggle. I am furious that my kids don’t have any extended family, but here we are, now.
We all know the cliché of the midlife crisis – when men buy a sports car and seek a divorce from the mother of the children to pursue a younger, more exciting woman, desperately trying to hold on to their youth or some idealized versions of themselves from high school or college.
This is a shallow idea of what a midlife crisis could be.
Not everyone goes out and blows a lot of money on a sports car. Not everyone divorces and gets a newer younger model spouse. Not everyone changes careers or moves across the country or world to start anew. Sometimes, it’s quieter, more internal turmoil.
When we reach our midpoint in life – and that period is surely different for everyone – we begin to analyze everything. The results are vastly different from individual to individual.
Autumn Living
The word crisis comes from the Greek κρίνω krinō, which means “distinguish, choose, decide” or “to separate, to sift” or “to pass judgement, to keep only what is worth while.”
Many of us experience multiple coinciding midlife crises – several all at once – and it creates a lot of stress if we don’t know how to approach these changes.
In the USA, the word crisis may seem like a negative one. We may prefer to express this stage of our lives as autumnal. We have surely lived through the spring and summer years, and we are beginning to slow down and dig deeper into the meanings and connections we have made in ourselves.
Maybe growing older is about taking risks and not living in fear.
Women’s bodies are amazing and I think that perimenopause is a bossy invitation to midlife women to stop putting ourselves last and to tell the truth about what we truly want for the years we have left.
A Life in Progress
Physical
The metabolism slows down.
Weight appears out of nowhere and decides to stick around. My knees crackle and pop and my feet and ankles hurt much of the time.
I’m learning that some foods and drinks affect my body adversely, so they need to be limited or cut out entirely. And it’s sad that I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted!
I now have to be mindful of my diet and exercise more and differently to maintain health and reduce joint pain.
Spiritual
We should be maturing spiritually, but I’m sad to see so many people holding onto static beliefs and negative feelings when they should be embracing more expansion in love and tolerance.
We stopped attending church because no one was growing and it just continued to become frustrating and then dangerous to expose our family to such hateful ideology.
I read constantly and expose myself to dissenting views because I want to grow. I want to be challenged.
Financial
Ironically, many people are in the top of their career and income earning years, just as kids are becoming more independent and needing fewer material goods.
This is a great time to review investments and plan better for retirement, limit and reduce unsecured debt, and set up or continue college accounts and trust funds for children and grandchildren.
I don’t agree at all with the people who want their kids to suffer because they suffered. I grew up in a lower income working class family. I have know educational and consumer debt. I struggled some months which bill to pay and which to gamble with until another month, even with late fees. I want my kids to be free of financial strain.
Retirement
It’s often a frightening time to approach retirement after decades of job security and the patterns of working regularly.
Many experience depression without the routine they’re used to having. They miss being needed.
When the schedule slows down, it becomes glaringly obvious that there isn’t enough wholesome or interesting activity to fill the time.
It’s a good time to renew hobbies or explore new interests.
Family
For many of us in our midlife years, we are simultaneously dealing with aging parents and fledgling adult children.
I am heartbroken that our families have chosen not to maintain a relationship with us. Out of sight, out of mind. My kids don’t know their grandparents or aunts.
Whereas my parents were and are very out of touch with me and popular culture, I strive to keep up with trends so I know what my kids are interested in and exposed to. I do refuse to get SnapChat or TikTok, but my kids send me the fun clips they know I like and I can see them posted on other forms of social media. I follow accounts and read articles and watch movies and shows that challenge me and keep me up to date. Urban Dictionary is my friend when I don’t understand a new slang term or concept!
Social-Emotional
We begin or continue to examine ourselves and our pasts to ensure a better future for ourselves and our families.
I read and commune with nature. I enjoy the arts. I grow.
I try to limit stress. I don’t like to be rushed. I am able to plan and be proactive.
We all have regrets.
We should desire to make amends.
We sometimes burn bridges.
We end generational trauma.
Two of my kids are in therapy. I have tried therapy many times for myself.
What I would prefer at this point is revolution.
At 47.5 years, I’m seeing myself quite alone in my journey and it sometimes saddens me.
Linking up: Randomosity, Silverado, Suburbia, Random Musings, Anita Ojeda, GraceFilled, Grammy’s Grid, Joanne Viola, Perfectly Imperfect, Jeanne Takenaka, Jenerally Informed, Life Tales, Esme Salon, RidgeHaven, InstaEncouragements, Mostly Blogging, Create with Joy, Ducks in a Row, Fluster Buster, LouLou Girls, Marsha in Middle, Two Chicks, Shelbee on the Edge, Answer is Choco, Katherine’s Corner, Momfessionals, POCO, Lisa Notes, Crazy Little Lovebirds, Pam’s Party, Pieced Pastimes, Eclectic Red Barn,
