Jennifer Lambert

A Sacred Balance

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Teaching Kids About Money

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I’ve always talked openly to my children about money.

It never occurred to me to be any other way. My parents were open with me and I learned so much as a teenager, sitting in on their meetings with financial advisors, housing brokers, and bankers.

My husband’s family did not discuss finances and it shows.

It’s important that I actively teach my kids about finances.

State and federal salaries are public knowledge, so I’ve always been open with my kids about what we have, how we save, investing, and spending.

While I don’t necessarily expect them to maintain all my values explicitly, I want them to have the knowledge to make wise money decisions.

How I Teach My Kids About Money

Value

From as early as they express interest or show readiness, I teach about value.

Value isn’t just monetary worth. It’s the regard it is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something.

I hold certain things with very high value that others do not. It’s about priorities.

When my kids accompany me while shopping, I constantly point out value to them, why we buy this item instead of that item. I’m not brand loyal, except for a very few items that have proven quality.

It’s important the kids assist me while shopping and conversations often come up about our purchases and shopping trends.

When our toaster went belly-up, I researched a good replacement instead of just ordering one or rushing out to the store to purchase what was in stock.

We also discuss waste and limits. We eat leftovers. We prefer sustainability practices.

As my kids grow, they will develop their own priorities and set their own value to goods and services.

Quality is better than quantity.

Saving

My parents opened savings accounts for each of our children when they were born.

We encourage our children to contribute to their savings when they’re older and start working part-time jobs.

We explain the importance of having some liquid emergency savings for contingency.

We teach about investments. We teach about insurance.

We have 529s for our children for higher education. We have IRAs and mutual funds for retirement.

Pay yourself first.

Giving

Philanthropy is important.

I believe being generous should be a life goal.

While we are not wealthy by any standard, we donate often to charities with our funds and handmedowns.

We look for needs to fulfill. We don’t expect recognition or thanks.

Giving is more than just offering money. It’s a way of life, an attitude. Generosity of spirit.

“You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you.” ― John Bunyan

Spending

Many think spending is the easy part of money management.

After monthly bills are paid, investments funded, savings bumped, what is left over?

Sometimes, it’s not much.

I have a spending plan instead of a strict budget. We shop for groceries every week and clothing and miscellaneous as needed.

As my children get older and acquire their own money from gifts or small jobs, they learn how to spend it on items they want. They also learn about sales tax.

When teens get their first part time job, they learn first-hand about taxes and other deductions.

I recently had to have a conversation with my eldest about what she termed “our money troubles.” When I was confused, she explained she didn’t want to burden us financially. I was still confused. She asked why I always said we didn’t have any money.

When I say I don’t have the money, I mean that we have prioritized saving and investing over instant gratification.

I can afford almost anything.

I have the ability to accept risk of credit and debt, but I choose not to, so to me, that means I don’t have the cash money to buy something I consider frivolous or valueless.

I choose to make different financial decisions based on what I value. And I choose not to incur further debt.

Instead of buying another car, we are choosing to share vehicles right now.

Instead of choosing to travel or vacation, we are staying close to home and occasionally go on day trips nearby.

Opportunity Cost

It’s important to learn and teach the loss of potential gain from other alternatives when one alternative is chosen.

For instance, if my son wants to buy YuGioh cards with his birthday money, he can’t buy the BeyBlades. He has to make a choice.

I make harder choices all the time.

We batten down the hatches and get very frugal if an emergency comes up, like a car repair or pet surgery. We like to pay cash and not use credit cards whenever possible.

If I choose to get takeout for dinner one busy night, we have to eat home-cooked meals and clean out the freezer and pantry the rest of the pay period. It sometimes requires creativity.

We often wait for the hit movie to go to online streaming (even if we pay $5 to rent it) instead of paying so much for 6 of us to see it in the theater.

If my daughter needs new shoes, I wait to buy myself something, even if I “need” it.

It’s really important to learn the difference between needs and wants in our consumer post-capitalism society.

We discuss propaganda, marketing, and advertising. We discuss ads on social media and games.

I’m always last. I go without so they can have abundance.

Allowance or Commission

I don’t give my kids an allowance.

No one gives me an allowance.

We all complete chores that makes our household run smoothly.

Allowances aren’t natural. Commissions for small jobs work better and teach financial lessons.

My kids often ask if there’s some special task they can complete for some spending money and I almost always oblige.

Many banks offer teen debit cards that help them to learn how banking works. My kids all had savings accounts from birth and they added checking accounts when they began working part-time.

Often, I create little jobs they can do for a few dollars so they learn the value of working for pay. If they don’t do a good job, they don’t get paid. Sometimes, they have to go back over their work to do it well.

Debt

Living as a middle class American, we grew up thinking and believing that debt is just a part of life.

We live in an instant gratification disposable society. Advertisements are everywhere, affecting our emotions by telling us we aren’t good if we don’t have the newest smartphone, car, clothes, or toys.

Debt is a risk many accept as being a normal and expected part of our society.

Debt can also be slavery and devastating during financial downturns.

I actively teach my children that debt is typically bad in most, if not all, circumstances.

I know few people who are able to pay cash for cars or houses.

But we know many people who would be bankrupt or even homeless within a month if all their debt was called in or they lost their jobs.

I don’t believe in using credit cards except in emergencies.

Credit cards are ways to help teens and young adults gain credit, but they must be monitored well and paid off each month.

I don’t believe in student loans for college.

We have one car loan and one credit card. We are paying off a consolidation loan.

I teach my kids that by using loans and credit cards, you are paying twice.

You can’t pray debt away. I don’t buy into the prosperity gospel at all.

Personal Financial Goals

Everyone develops his or her own financial goals based on priorities, past history, income, and interests.

We choose to invest for our future.

We limit our instant gratification. It’s easier sometimes since we move around so frequently and can’t justify buying things just to sell them if we can’t take them with us.

We choose to travel rather than buy frivolous gifts, usually.

I choose to buy cut flowers every week to brighten my dining room. It’s something that makes me happy and I value that.

My kids seldom ask for things when we go shopping. When they do, it’s something super practical or for all of us. They understand the difference between needs and wants. They seldom ask to eat out.

I choose to buy the best quality food and cook most things from scratch because I enjoy it and it’s healthier for us. Yes, it costs more than beans, rice, ground meat. But we seldom eat out – which does cost a whole lot for a family of 6.

An acquaintance lives in a house valued at a $half million. Then I learned they haven’t invested anything for their kids’ college or for retirement. They just spend everything.

How do you teach your kids about value?

What are your financial goals?

You might also like:
How We Save Money
How to Set a Budget
5 Money Tips
5 Frugal Tips for Buying Kids Clothes
Losing Control
A Frugal Birthday
Shopping in Germany
Obstacles to Being Frugal During the Holidays
How to Have a Debt-Free Christmas

Linking up: Kingdom Bloggers, Welcome Heart, Anita Ojeda, Pinventures, LouLou Girls, April Harris, Home Stories, Purposeful Faith, MaryAndering Creatively, Mary Geisen, Meghan Weyerbacher, Modest Mom, Uncommon Suburbia, Our Three Peas, Gingersnap Crafts, Grandmas Ideas, Sarah Frazer, Life Abundant, OMHG, Anchored Abode, Soaring with Him, 2Dishing Divas, Life with Lorelai, Quiet Homemaker, Chic on a Shoestring, Anna Nuttall, Answer is Choco, Mommynificent, Simply Sweet Home, Della Devoted, Momfessionals, Fireman’s Wife, CWJ, Apron Strings, Susan Mead, Counting My Blessings, Rachel Lee, Create with Joy,

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Online Yard Sale Tips

This post may contain affiliate links. See disclosure. Check out my suggested resources.

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It’s that time of year again.

Spring cleaning.

Purging.

Minimizing.

Everyone who got guilt trips from Marie Kondo’s Netflix series.

My kids are growing up and outgrowing toys and homeschool curriculum.

We donate most of our used stuff to thrift stores. One year, we had a huge yard sale. Now, I try to sell nice items online for a little extra cash.

Typically, these online yard sale transactions are done in a public space with cash in hand. Big furniture items are usually viewed in home. I like to have someone with me for exchanges. Always be safe!

Occasionally, items are shipped with shipping extra. Money can be exchanged through Facebook or Paypal. I seldom go this route because it’s extra stressful to pack and ship and I haven’t received the money twice.

Some items are banned for resale, such as firearms, mattresses, car seats, baby formula.

Some groups or sites don’t allow handmade items.

Also, these online sale sites are not the place to promote your personal MLM or home business.

Online Yard Sale Tips

Know the lingo. Be kind. Be on time.

Be the seller/buyer you would want to work with.

Online Yard Sale Terms

P/U = Pick-Up. This is usually followed by the location and/or time to meet to sell an item.

PPU = Pending Pick-Up. The item has been agreed to a time and place for pick-up. This may change if someone cancels, changes their mind, or doesn’t show.

Cross-Posted = lets potential buyers know that the item has been posted in more than one place

Bump = Sellers use this term to comment in their own listing and “bump” the item back up to the top of the feed, to give it more exposure. There is usually a rule about how often an item can be “bumped” – typically once a day.

ISO = In Search Of. People often ask for specific items in groups.

OBO = Or Best Offer. The buyer would consider other reasonable offers.

Next = People use this to let the seller know they are interested in the item if someone has already shown interest before them.

NWT = The item is new with tags.

NWOT = The item is new without tags.

Interested = What potential buyers typically write in the comments of your post if they want to buy your item.

Sending PM = Sending Private Message. This is how a potential buyer communicates with you as a seller. Typically, since these people will not be your actual Facebook friends, any messages from them will be filtered into your “other folder.” This is found at the top of your Facebook page, under your message folder.

Porch pick-up = Usually, the seller leaves the item on their porch and the buyer places the money in an envelope in a hidden spot. Or vice versa. I don’t like doing this!

Online Yard Sale Etiquette

Know the group or page rules. Follow the rules.

Lately, people don’t even comment on the post, but immediately private message to “get in line.” It sometimes becomes difficult to keep track of message order on a popular item. I often just reply to messages with a number to help keep things straight. I’ve had some people get frustrated with this, but it only seems fair. Occasionally, I have someone who wants to rush the process and claims they will pick up the item right this second.

It’s important to post if you have pets, smoke, or have other circumstances that could cause allergic reactions in sensitive people.

Be prompt in communication. Answer questions in a timely manner or you’ll lose the item to the next commenter or messenger!

Please don’t ask stupid questions and waste everyone’s time. If you’re not familiar with a product, do your own research. Don’t ask the seller to give you the rundown on the item’s pop culture, history, or random trivia.

Unless it’s a big furniture item or a pricey collectible or antique, you just have to take your chances. Don’t ask to come “see the item” without bringing money or intending to purchase. It’s just rude.

Park in an area that’s not very crowded. Tell the color and make of your vehicle in a message so the seller can find you.

Show up on time to purchase or sell an item. My son will never let me live it down that we once waited 45 minutes for a buyer who never showed. He kept messaging that he was stuck in traffic, but apparently, he was just a troll who never wanted the item anyway.

Have exact amount of money that is requested.

Posting Items for Sale

When posting your item for sale, be honest about its history and the condition. Be prompt replying to messages. Be available to meet up to sell.

Include:

  • good images, with proper lighting and all angles
  • condition of item
  • dimensions, if relevant
  • reasonable price

Have fun! It’s kind of exciting getting some cash for items no longer needed or wanted. And it’s really great finding a good deal for something you want!

Do you have any tips for online yard sales?

Linking up: Our Holiday Journey, Create with Joy, Lori Schumaker, Welcome Heart, Pinventures, Inspo for Moms, Mostly Blogging, Blogghetti, Squishable Baby, Mary Geisen, Timeless Mama, April Harris, LouLou Girls, Abounding Grace, Jaime Wiebel, Mary Andering Creatively, Meghan Weyerbacher, Home Stories, Trekking Thru, Gingersnap Crafts, Jessi’s Design, soaring with Him, Sarah Frazer, Worth Beyond Rubies, My Life Abundant, Oh My Heartsie Girl, Try It Like It, Debbie Kitterman, Over the Moon, TFT, Mississippi Mom, Wise Woman, Rachel Lee, Crystal Storms, Apron Strings, Imparting Grace, Momfessionals, Della Devoted, Counting My Blessings, Life with Lorelai, RCH Reviews, Fireman’s Wife, Simply Sweet Home, Create with Joy, Crystal Waddell, Susan Mead, Lyli Dunbar,

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How to Save Money while Shopping

This post may contain affiliate links. See disclosure. Check out my suggested resources.

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Our grocery budget is higher than anyone’s I know.

We have different priorities for sure and food is high on the list. We don’t cut corners. We like all-natural and homemade. We like to cook and eat together. I’m home with the kids seven days a week and we all eat three meals a day together. Aaron joins us after work each night for weekday dinners and helps cook meals on weekends. My kids are turning into great bakers and cooks!

See what we eat every week. See an example of our grocery expense a few years ago.

I’m not into couponing and most of the items I regularly buy aren’t in regular coupon circulars anyway.

I want to be a good steward of our financial resources and I want to teach my kids about budgeting and being good stewards as well. It’s a constant balance between spending more on the better quality and healthier options and trying to save money where it counts.

I primarily shop at Kroger since that’s our closest grocery store. I really like Meijer, but there are only a few in our area that I occasionally shop at. I buy several things at our base commissary each month, like bacon, sausage, and cat litter – because they’re remarkably cheaper and tax-free. We buy all our meats at a local butcher shop. I occasionally shop at our local Walmart. I shop at Costco every few months to stock up on a few items. I buy cat food and wild bird seed at Chewy because it saves me time and money and I don’t have to lift the bags except to drag them into my house.

I shop online for lots so I don’t have to interact with too many people. I also like self-checkout when I can! The site to store shipping option is my fave.

Shopping isn’t entertainment for me. I don’t like browsing or window shopping.

I usually check these FREE apps on Thursdays when they update.

How to Save Money while Shopping:

Ibotta

This is my favorite service where you upload your receipts for 287 participating stores and receive instant rebates.

It’s most convenient on mobile where you can you access the camera to take pics and upload the receipt.

For Walmart and some other stores, you just scan the QR code on the receipt and it’s smart and does the rest for you!

You choose your store and the items you’ve purchased each week to receive cash back on those purchases.

Sometimes, there are offers on “any item” or “any brand” and those are wonderful.

There are bonuses each month or so that you can earn more.

You can use this app to earn even more when you shop online.

Some of the deals are combos, like you buy a certain brand of crackers and any kind of cheese.

There are great rebates on baby items.

You can cash out once you’ve earned $20. They send via Paypal.

I love love LOVE that it offers deals at military commissaries.

I’ve earned over $70 this year with iBotta.

Sign up for Ibotta now!

Checkout 51

This is another service where you upload your receipts for participating stores and receive instant rebates.

This app has improved a great deal in the last few years. They are consistent with a few brands but offer great deals on those. You can link brand accounts to save even more. I love that they offer Back to Nature and Bob’s Red Mill and other more natural organic product deals.

You can add loyalty cards to the app for a few participating stores. Sometimes, you can earn on several items at once.

It’s also most convenient on mobile where you can you access the camera to take pics to upload your receipt.

You choose the items you’ve purchased, upload your receipt, and receive cash back on those purchases.

You can cash out once you’ve earned $20.

I’ve earned over $20 this year with Checkout 51. They only mail checks, which I don’t really like.

Sign up for Checkout 51 now!

eBates

Ebates Coupons and Cash Back

I’ve earned over $150 shopping online for things I would buy anyway.

I use eBates when I buy floral arrangements for my mom or friends.

I use it when I’m buying needed items at Kohl’s or Lowe’s or Walmart and use the ship to store option. It saves me time and earns me money!

It’s free and even has a nifty little Chrome plugin so it manages coupon codes and alerts you if there’s a better deal at a competing store.

You can link a credit or debit card to earn cash back when you shop in-store!

Join eBates now!

Honey

Honey is a great price checker online so I can get the best deal.

I can save items for up to 60 days. They will alert me when there’s a price drop!

This is super handy around the holidays.

Join Honey now!

Coupons

I don’t do many coupons and I don’t follow my favorite brands on social media or subscribe to newsletters to get updates and deals. I know that there are some good options out there on some items. I find that the little savings they offer isn’t worth the stress and clutter of my inbox and mailbox.

I like the Kroger app for in-store coupons for things I’m going to buy anyway. Kroger also mails me coupons periodically for items I’ve bought in the past.

I have apps for Hobby Lobby, Joann, and Michael’s for their weekly coupons – that I utilize only the once in a while that I shop there.

I check the Kohl’s app for coupon codes before buying. This is pretty much the only clothing store I use.

And I use the Chick-fil-A app to earn free items!

Loyalty Cards

These irritate me to no end, but I try to remember to use them. It seems that every store has a loyalty card these days and some of the perks are barely worth it. I like the Kroger card to save on gas and store brand items. If the store has an app that I can link the loyalty card to, I am much happier.

We move so frequently and the cards aren’t always transferrable or the store isn’t in our new city or state. Then we have to start all over again.

What unique ways do you save money?

You might also like:
How We Save Money
How to Set a Budget
5 Money Tips
5 Frugal Tips for Buying Kids Clothes
Losing Control
A Frugal Birthday
Shopping in Germany
Obstacles to Being Frugal During the Holidays
How to Have a Debt-Free Christmas

Linking up: Our Holiday Journey, Modest Mom, Squishable Baby, Mostly Blogging, Inspiration for Moms, Lori Schumaker, Holley Gerth, Darling Downs Diaries, Create with Joy, MaryAndering Creatively, Life of Faith, Timeless Mama, Let It Shine, April Harris, LouLou Girls, Meghan Weyerbacher, Purposeful Faith, Trekking Thru, Blogghetti, Ducks in a Row, Jessi’s Design, Our Three Peas, Bringing up Georgia, Gingersnap Crafts, Jaime Wiebel, Soaring with Him, Sarah Frazer, Creative K Kids, Life Beyond the Kitchen, A Bountiful Love, Penny’s Passion, Katherine’s Corner, My Learning Table, Organized 31, Be Thee Inspired, Imparting Grace, Crystal Storms, Mommynificent, Simply Sweet Home, Coffee with Us3, Overwhelmed to Fulfilled, Easy Peasy Pleasy, Anna Nuttall, Answer is Chocolate, Susan Mead, Crystal Waddell, Bright on a Budget, RCH Reviews, Momfessionals, Blended Blog, The Charm of Home, Lyli Dunbar, Counting My Blessings, Create with Joy, Being a Wordsmith, Our Mini Family,

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6 Steps Toward Financial Security

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Between the staggering statistics on average household debt and the difficult economic climate, there is a lot of discussion about family finances. If you struggle with budgeting, thinking about managing your money better can seem overwhelming. However, even small steps can make a big difference, especially in the long term.

Here some simple ways to start taking control of your financial independence.

1. Analyze Your Debt

If you are spending money every month paying off debt, you know how big of an impact it can have on your overall finances. You may have a goal of paying off all your loans, but that process can take several years. Before you start making bigger payments toward your debt, you may want to figure out the most efficient way to pay it off. You could start with the credit card with the highest interest. Maybe you want to refinance to consolidate your debt. Try to find the plan that works best with your income and goals.

2. Make Savings Automatic

You may find it much easier to allocate money to your savings account if you don’t have to think about it. There are several ways to make saving automatic. You can request to have part of your paycheck deposited in a savings account or set up an automatic transfer at your bank. You can also use a savings app to move money into savings automatically.

3. Recycle and Reuse

If a lot of your budget goes toward disposable items, you may want to think about changing to reusable alternatives. Switching to cloth napkins and ditching the paper plates can save you money and reduce your environmental impact as well.

4. Lower Energy Consumption

Utility bills can be expensive, but you can make a few simple changes to lower your usage and your monthly costs. Consider switching to energy-efficient light bulbs and low-flow showerheads. You can also use a programmable thermostat to reduce the load on your home’s HVAC system when you are out of the house.

5. Use the Library

For most families, entertainment takes a large percentage of the discretionary spending. Whether your family loves books, movies, or music, you can drastically reduce your spending by taking advantage of your local library. Most libraries have large selections of CDs and DVDs along with magazines and books. You can also check to see if your library offers eBooks through an online service.

6. Take It Slow

When you decide to take control of your family finances, it can be discouraging if you don’t see big changes in your bank account right away. However, changing your financial habits can take time. Be patient with yourself and your family, and find encouragement in small changes.

Financial management can take a long time to master, especially if you are overseeing all the income and expenditures for your entire household. If you are trying to save more money or pay off debt, there are several small things you can do to start moving in the right direction without dramatically changing your entire lifestyle. Reducing your home’s energy consumption, making savings automatic, and using the library are just a few ways to reduce your expenses and grow your savings.

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Purging Clothes

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When we moved into this house almost three years, I turned around all my clothes hangers.

The goal was to purge all the clothes on the unturned hangers after a year. And I mostly did. Last week, I purged even more.

I’m not really fearless enough to trim down my clothes to like 15 items as a capsule wardrobe. Or even 30 items. I just can’t. I’m not ready for that and I may never be.

For me, that’s not very practical. We move around so much and travel frequently, so I need seasonal clothes and specialty items. And I’m not able to give up some unique pieces I’ve collected and love. I just love coats, jackets, cardigans, and scarves. They can really pull a rather boring outfit together!

I also purged my pajamas, lounge wear, and workout clothes for items I no longer need or wear. I got rid of almost all my high-heeled shoes. I just can’t wear them anymore and they’re not good for my feet anyway. I gave away more than half my purses to my teen daughter and the thrift shop.

I kinda like the idea of a monochrome color scheme. Years ago, it might have been easier when I wore mostly earth tones and black. But, I’ve expanded my color palette over the years and have many textures and fabrics. Most of my clothes are in the greens and blues and neutrals, with some orange and coral.

My teen daughters shopped through my castoffs and scored with some great things that look better on them than they ever did on me. Then I donated all the rest.

Also, we move frequently. There’s no need to pack and move stuff we don’t need.

Since we sometimes move to a location that has four seasons, we clear out all the clothes that don’t fit my youngest children, or will not fit next season. Since it’s still cool in one place and the weather is quite unpredictable, we have to pack rain jackets, jeans, and some long-sleeved shirts…in addition to summer wear we’ll need when we arrive in our new home.

I purged all the clothes that…

  • Don’t fit – and probably never will fit again. I had some shirts that have shrunk or just never fit right. I had some pants that were too tight and low cut that were never comfortable.
  • Are in poor shape, like a tear or bleach spot or unrelenting stain or stretched out. I had some white tops that had yellowed and bleach didn’t fix.
  • Are ridiculously out of style and I will never wear again, even for a theme party.
  • Shirts that I had in every color. I really don’t need that many T-shirts or tank tops.

How to maintain my closet:

  • Shopping isn’t entertainment.
  • Buy only items I love that fit perfectly on my body.
  • I don’t have to fill up the space. American closets are huge! I don’t have to cover every shelf, rack, pole, or loop with stuff.
  • Turning around my hangers again after we move this summer. I can purge again next year – anything I haven’t worn.

It’s really quite exhilarating to let go of stuff. We accumulate so much and need so little.

Linking up:
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Minimizing

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Do you have issues in your house with too much stuff?
Do you struggle with keeping the house tidy and neat?
Do you want more, more, more?

Try minimizing for a simpler, more peaceful life.

If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them as half as much money. ~Abigail Van Buren

I’m not advocating for getting rid of all your stuff.

I’ve been to some homes and the people seem to have next to nothing by choice and that’s also stressful when there’s nowhere to sit and the rooms are stark and empty and echoey.

Your home doesn’t have to have a Scandinavian or Asian look to be peaceful and clutter-free. It shouldn’t be sterile.

I always have piles of books – from the library, that I’m reading, that I’m going to read.

Finding a healthy balance of a home with peace and beauty while having storage for the things we love is a challenge.

I grew up with parents and my grandma buying me almost anything I wanted. But it was because that was the only way they knew how to show love. My grandma made up for the poor relationship she had with my father by showering me with gifts all throughout my childhood and I only saw her maybe 2-3 times a year. She passed when I was a teenager. My parents totally bought into the Big 80’s idea that more stuff equaled status and power and influence. They bought new cars every 3 years. My mother had shoes in every color and clothes in her closet with tags still on them. She would hide her clothing purchases from my father.

I blew all the money I made at my first jobs in retail and restaurants.

I never learned the value of anything.

I spent most of my early adulthood blowing money on unimportant things, fighting debt, and learning to budget.

I want my children to learn the value of things better than I was taught.

We go through massive purges every few years as we move. We’re a military family and we’re constantly re-evaluating our stuff. Our kids are growing up. They need fewer things for homeschool and playing. We’re all maturing. We need less and less stuff to be happy. With fewer things, we’re all more stress-free. It’s easier to clean up when there’s not so much to be messy. There are fewer arguments and fewer hassles about toys and things.

How we minimize:

  1. Less is more.

    We really don’t need as much as we have and we certainly don’t need more stuff. Having fewer simpler toys encourages creativity and resourcefulness. Just because an item exists or all her friends have it doesn’t mean it’s needed. Having less is also easier to keep clean and tidy. Having a smaller home means cheaper upkeep and utilities. We purged most of our worthless knick knacks and streamlined surfaces.

  2. What’s the motivation?

    Buying stuff doesn’t equal love. Yeah, I know that’s supposed to be one of the love languages, but really? If it’s not useful or needed, don’t buy it. “Retail therapy” is stupid. We gave up giving greeting cards because it gets really expensive and they’re just thrown away.

  3. Quality over quantity.

    Get the best you can afford. Don’t get some cheap knockoff that you’ll have to keep replacing. Do your research and save up for it.

  4. Set boundaries.

    Determine some boundaries for stuff and don’t let it spill over. Have a place for everything, and don’t buy more storage to have more stuff. Do you keep certain items only for sentimental value or for some other reason? I had to get over a lot of that.

  5. One in, one out.

    Purge often. If you get something new, get rid of something else. This helps reduce clutter and keeps priorities straight.

  6. Get organized.

    Everything in its place and a place for everything. A neat and tidy house is more peaceful than a cluttered home. Get a system for those cluttery places where you find family members dropping their stuff. Work with it and not against it. Find a system that works for your family. We like pretty natural baskets for toys and simple bookcases with cabinets.

  7. Limit ad exposure.

    Ads are everywhere, breeding discontent. Limit exposure to TV, social media, and print advertisements to limit wants. Unsubscribe from store and deal emails. Shopping isn’t entertainment.

  8. Teach value.

    Limit the gimmes by having a 3-day wait rule for big purchases. If you still desire the item after 3 days, come up with a plan to afford it. We don’t have huge gift-giving events for birthdays or holidays. We give just a few desired items for birthdays and about 4 items for Christmas and nothing tangible on minor holidays. We have discussions before we go to stores about goals and priorities and there has never been any begging. Our kids have never had a meltdown in the checkout line because I’m proactive.

  9. Have a plan.

    Have a budget or spending plan and stick to it. It helps to be realistic and set aside a little each month instead of splurging and feeling guilty. Ask: Do you need it and/or why do you have it? This limits anxiety.

  10. Practice what you preach.

    If you limit your kids’ toys and clothing, also limit your own purchases. Don’t go get the newest tech gadget or new car if your others function just fine. Learn to make do.

If something cost $1,000, and it is on sale for $750, and then you decide to buy it, you did not save $250. You spent $750.

Do you struggle with too much stuff?

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How to Set a Budget

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By 21 Comments

Being examples and teaching our children how to budget is super important.

Making your money work for you is important.

We’ve spent most of our marriage struggling to climb out of debt while keeping up with too much stuff, wanting this and that – and more, more, more.

As a large military family living on one income, it’s often difficult to keep our heads above water.

We strive to teach our children the value of things and experiences. I want them prepared for real life with all its financial ups and downs.

We teach our children that a trip to Florence is more important than that new Lego set. We want them to realize that rent and food and utilities and insurance have to be paid, but sometimes we have to buy the hamburger instead of the steak to offset the expense of fixing the van. Internet and smart phones and TV are luxuries, even though we’ve come to see them as necessities, like utilities.

We have to be prepared for surprise financial setbacks with a savings account and budget in place.

Growing up as an only child, I was privy to how my parents ran our household and planned for the future. I am fortunate that I accompanied them on home and car purchases to learn how that works. They’re very organized with their investment portfolio. Since they are both retired government employees, they lived on fixed incomes, but with careful planning for many years, they live very comfortably.

Financial education is important.

Isn’t that the goal? We want to prepare for the future. We want to help jumpstart our kids into a financially successful adulthood. We want to live comfortably in retirement. We want to leave our children a legacy. We want to be able to bless others.

How do you set a budget?

Creating a budget or spending plan for the first time can be overwhelming.

A budget dictates to you what you can spend, where, and when; a spending plan allows you the control of your money every single month. It realizes that your purchases change and expenses vary from month to month and that a one-size-fits-all monthly budget doesn’t truly fit anything. ~Becoming Minimalist

What’s Your Income?

Know your income.

This should be a no-brainer, right?

Also, I know some couples who really don’t share this info with each other. That’s a warning sign and y’all should work that out.

So, know how frequently you get paid and how much.

Take into account any other income you receive and what you will use it for. Alimony, child support, investment dividends, tax returns, affiliate income, inheritance, etc. Don’t just blow that money. Have a plan for it.

I know not everyone has a set amount every pay period, with commissions or bonuses or hourly rates or whatnot…so you need to average that out to know what to expect. Then consider the lowest possibility and set your budget for that.

What are Your Bills?

Know what bills you have.

You should be organized with this, right?

We took the “no-paper option” so we get email notifications and most of our bills are automatically deducted from our accounts.

Bills are typically the ones that don’t change (or change very little) from month to month – like rent, insurance, car payments. Our utilities are in this category because they’re a set amount each month and we reconcile annually.

I also put any debt in this category. While ideally, credit cards shouldn’t be used at all or paid off monthly…we’re getting there. And I have set that payment high in order to pay it off sooner rather than later.

What are Your Expenses?

These are the extra and perhaps flexible bills each month.

Utilities often fall into this category.

Luxury items are in this category. Cable or satellite TV, Netflix, Internet, cell phones are things most people have and they sometimes fluctuate based on services used. Remember, these are not necessities. They should be the first to go during financial emergency.

Groceries and gas for vehicles. This is the most flexible area for us. I can cut costs on groceries with careful meal planning.

Our car and renter’s insurance fluctuates just a tiny bit each month, but I usually keep those items in my bills category.

We pay for music lessons for our kids.

My husband and son get their hair cut every 8 weeks or so. I cut my own hair so that’s not an expense for us.

Be honest with yourself about expenses.

Do you get your nails done weekly? Do you regularly go to the hair salon? Do you go shopping for clothes frequently? Do you need a latte fix every day?

Evaluate those expenses and put them in your budget. Consider what you might need to limit or cut out of your life to make it work.

What are Your Priorities?

Everyone has different priorities.

Some people are perfectly content to live on rice and beans and buy the latest and greatest newest technology every time a new model is released.

Others don’t have Internet or cell phones at all but have an extensive garden of fresh fruits and vegetables.

Collectors and hobbyists spend time and money on their interests.

Many want to be able to give generously.

Our priorities:

We like to travel and eat well. We’re investing for our children’s educations and our retirement. And books. Always, more books.

Because of our financial priorities, we live a little differently than a lot of people we know.

We don’t have a car payment right now. Our furniture is thrift store-yard sale chic.

We don’t go shopping for entertainment and we seldom eat out.

We opt out of ads online to limit temptation! Since we don’t have a TV, we don’t see many commercials or advertisements except on Internet sidebars and some online games or apps.

How we save money:

I try to use the library first – before purchasing books for personal use or our homeschool. Often the Kindle versions of books are cheaper than the paper copies.

The kids wear hand-me-downs from cousins, each other, thrift stores, and yard sales. I seldom buy anything new that isn’t on sale.

We don’t have huge birthdays, Christmas, Easter, or other celebrations. We prefer experiences.

Do the Math.

This is easy to create on paper or on the computer.

I list all our bills and income in a column on the left and amounts in the right column. I have a column for X when they’ve cleared our bank. I use an Excel spreadsheet that does the calculations for me. I have a sheet labeled for each month and a sheet for our debt so I can see our progress.

Below is an example of my current Excel budget book. It’s more like a spending plan.

I’ve rounded the numbers and used generic names for our accounts.

I realize not everyone is in a position to invest.

I want to show you the reality.

I am not trying to brag about our income.

It’s public information anyone can look up about military service members. It’s a fixed income.

Yes, we receive some amazing benefits for being a military family: housing and utilities allowances, commissary and AAFES shopping privileges, dental and medical services at the base clinic, tax-reduced (but rationed) gasoline purchases on base. My husband’s state of residence is Illinois, so we don’t pay state taxes as a military family.

The offset is being far from home and family, missing those important holidays and events. Also, deployments, TDYs, training events, and late night or weekend exercises can be difficult on families. PCS (moving) often eats up our savings and is always stressful in many ways.

We currently have about $2500 in our savings account.

I’m fortunate to be able to stay home to educate our four children. We’re grateful for the opportunities military life offers us.

You can see we’re aggressively paying down our debt while not starving or eliminating our priority to travel. We’re still working this out with baby steps. We also have a pin and chip travel credit card that we over-used. It’s not shown in my Excel spreadsheet. We plan to attack that after these debts are paid within the year. We’re using every bit of extra income on paying that travel card (tax return, monetary gifts, and an IRA dividend we receive every autumn). We don’t plan to continue using that credit card since our new bank cards have the pin and chip now!

My Excel budget spreadsheet is color-coded.

The blue is income.

The green are investments, with amounts that seldom change.

The red is debt.

The fields left white are the flexible expenses. These amounts fluctuate from month to month.

My Color Coded Excel Budget

I’m sure you noticed some gaping holes in my budget plan?

We have a separate bank account for our local expenses. Our rent, cell phones, and Internet are auto-deducted from our local account. We have a certain amount auto-deposited each pay period into the local account to cover those expenses. We use anything left over in that account each month to pay that travel credit card. We are at the mercy of the exchange rate from USD to Euro. (I love the idea of a separate account for housing expenses and I will carry that idea over when we move back to the States!)

We also have an auto deduction going directly to our church.

I have a separate account for my blogging “business.” Honestly, I don’t even sorta break even. I pour way more into this enterprise than I make every month. Some days, that’s very frustrating.

What’s Your WHY?

This goes a bit beyond just priorities.

When you get discouraged, when the van breaks down and you use your travel fund to fix it, when your child asks if you can have a “real Christmas” and you feel guilty, what will you do?

Leave room for emergencies and pray about big purchases. Obviously, a working vehicle is necessary for getting to and from work to make the money. While we cringed to fork over that $300+ for the new alternator and valves, we did so knowing that it had to be done and our trip could either be postponed or we could be more frugal somewhere else.

We remind ourselves what the big picture is: planning for our futures, teaching our children values, and leaving a legacy for our kids.

Sure, we splurge sometimes on gelato, a cute new shirt or shoes in sale when needed, flowers for the garden or dining table for a special occasion, or that Kylo Ren lightsaber.

We try to make sure there’s room in the budget for fun or it becomes drudgery.

UPDATE 8/25/16: We have PAID OFF TWO accounts! Only 3 to go. We plan to have those paid by May!

One step closer to #debtfree! Almost there! #freedom #goals #oola #oolafinance #money

A photo posted by Jennifer (@jenalambert) on


Update August 2017: Only 1 account left to go!

Do you have any budget tips to share?

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How We Save Money

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I’m always looking for simple ways to save money.

I weigh the convenience factor with our health, values, and lifestyle.

It takes discipline to save money and to set rules about how we will not waste.

We have to have goals and a plan.

We pray about big purchases. When I see something I want, I try to wait to see if I can do without or if I have something similar I can use to that purpose. If I can’t stop thinking about it after a few days or a week, I try to work it into the budget.

I remember a time when I had way too much month at the end of the money.

I was a school teacher for almost 10 years, but my last year working outside the home was haphazard…and I found myself working two part-time jobs with no benefits. I was struggling to survive financially.

I’ve bounced checks or auto debits because I didn’t realize the check card had been used. I’ve had to juggle which bills I paid so I made rent and had food and gas money. I’ve lived in fear of collection agencies, avoiding the phone calls and dreading certified mail.

Thankfully, we’re a better place financially these days.

We still have some credit card debt we’re paying off, but we’re investing for retirement and our children’s education. We have no car payments and we’re under our BAH allotment for our housing.

Healthy finances are important to me in this ever-changing world.

I want to teach my children how to live frugally but well.

I want them to understand budgeting, investing, taxes, saving, checking accounts, home-buying, and more. It’s important to be financially literate.

These are several simple ways I’ve found to save us money.

Cloth Napkins

I’ve found several mix and match Americana cloth napkin styles that we keep in a drawer by the dining table. We also have some pretty gold ones for special occasions.

We reuse these for a few meals, until they get too greasy or dirty, and then we wash them for next time.

Cloth Napkins

We haven’t gotten on board with family cloth in the bathrooms (ew) or cloth towels in the kitchen, but we do have a large stash of dishcloths for cleaning and wiping up small spills. Paper towels and facial tissues last a really long time for us.

When my son was a baby, we used cloth diapers and made our own wipes from flannel.

Laundry and Cleaning

We make our own laundry soap.

We use wool drying balls.

I try to do laundry every other day, so there are full loads.

I often hang dry the clothes to save on energy.

We don’t buy household cleaners. I use Thieves soap, vinegar, warm water, olive oil. I love my Libman Freedom mop and cleaning cloths.

Seldom Eating Out

We rarely eat out in restaurants and almost never get fast food.

It saves money and keeps us healthier.

We eat at home 95% of the time. We make our own seasonings. I make a hot breakfast every day. I make dinner for the family every evening. We usually have leftovers or sandwiches for lunch.

It has helped that we have stated to ourselves and the kids that eating out is not an option when we leave the house. We try to plan around meal times and do errands mid mornings or late afternoons.

We just have to plan better.

We eat before we leave the house or take a cooler with lunch and snacks. We don’t run errands (or go grocery shopping!) when we’re hungry. We take our lunches for field trips. We make sure dinner is prepped and we make sure to arrive back home in time to cook and eat it.

We do sometimes dine out while traveling and we plan for that if there’s special cuisine or a specific restaurant we want to try, but we often rent an apartment so we can prepare our own meals.

We never buy bottled water. We have a filter on our refrigerator and we refill these glass bottles.

Living Simply

We have simple family birthdays with homemade cake and a special dinner served on a Celebration Plate. We have simple homemade decorations and watch a favorite movie together. We don’t go overboard with lots of presents, but just a few very carefully picked out and lovingly wrapped items.

We often travel for holidays and rarely give big gifts for Christmas or Easter. I eschew giving a bunch of Dollar Store junk in stocking and baskets, so we prefer useful items like pretty school supplies, healthy snacks, and maybe a desired item. We strive for a debt-free Christmas. I like to follow the something they Want, Need, Wear, Read plan of gift-buying and giving.

Shopping is not entertainment.

I buy groceries and other items when we need them. I’m not a hoarder. I don’t do coupons. I just discovered Ibotta and it’s ok, slowly racking up a few dollars every month on a few items I buy anyway.

I don’t subscribe to store emails or social media. We don’t buy newspapers or magazines. We don’t care what’s trending nor do we need the latest and newest tech gadgets or clothes or toys.

My house is not full of fancy décor or lots of knick knacks because they aren’t useful and are just something else to dust. Our furniture is mostly handmedowns and yard sale and thrift shop finds.  I don’t redecorate with the seasons or when we PCS and I don’t read decorating magazines or blogs because they make me discontent. We haven’t purchased new furniture in 10 years, except to upgrade the kids from baby cribs to beds.

I cut my own hair. I’m pretty low maintenance. I don’t have a lot of makeup or accessories. I don’t use product in my hair. I don’t get my nails done.

We put our TV in storage. So, there’s no cable or SAT to watch or pay for. We watch Netflix and Amazon streaming.

We keep our utilities low by setting the AC high and the heating low. We turn off lights and use water sparingly.

Eating Leftovers

I don’t like waste. We don’t often have leftovers with four growing children, but I encourage frugality in this area.

I often double or even triple recipes so we can have lunches the next day.

I store leftovers in glass containers to maintain freshness and use them up within a couple days. We get creative with soups and casseroles.

Also, if an apple or carrot only gets half-eaten, it’s saved for later. It can be used in salads or smoothies.

Limiting Trips into Town

Currently, Wednesday is our going out day.

The girls have music lessons, we run errands and do the grocery shopping, and Tori has gymnastics. (I have to plan and prep dinner and my teen daughter or husband finishes it up since we get home after 6 PM – see above!)

This means I have to plan our meals and make a list when shopping.

Sundays, we all go to church. After lunch, my teen daughter and I go to the gym for about an hour and then go grocery shopping on base (most local stores are closed).

Keeping to this plan allows me to say no to any extra running around. Many homeschoolers and stay at home moms in our area are always going out for field trips, playdates, or shopping entertainment. We prefer to stay home and complete our homeschool work. This helps me only to fill up my minivan’s gas tank about 2-3 times per month.

We also don’t feel pressured to change our schedule very often. We have this as a priority, so we don’t feel the need to deviate unless it’s very important or an amazing opportunity.

The kids know we generally stay home, so they learn they have plenty of free time to play, create, and explore after homeschool work and chores are completed. Work before play.

Paying Cash

We try to live within our means. That means not using credit to pay for anything. The deals on credit cards aren’t attractive enough for me to use them. I don’t have the discipline to pay them off each month. Paying cash makes us think twice before making a purchase. I keep our spending plan on spreadsheets on the computer.

We’ve never really done the envelope system. I just don’t like to go to the ATM every week or whenever.

Most of the stores in Europe are Euro cash-only. I seldom shop at those stores. I like the bigger stores that remind me of a Super Wal-Mart and they cater to the international community here and accept my American account-linked check card.

I don’t shop with calculator in hand. What if I get to the register and my total is more than I have? Embarrassing.

When we travel, we have to use a pin and chip credit card for flights and accommodations, but we try to pay cash for all other expenses.

When the kids need clothing or supplies, we pay cash.

When our minivan needed a new alternator and pulley system, we were so thankful to be able to pay cash for it all. I remember a time when an emergency like that would have really messed us up financially for months.

We’re still learning and some days, weeks, and months it’s hard, but we’re determined to live abundantly on a fixed single income.

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Obstacles to Being Frugal During the Holidays

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It’s hard to have a debt-free or frugal Christmas.

Even for our family we find it sometimes difficult not to get caught up in all the commercialism of the holiday season.

When I think about all the unexpected expenses, some of which we feel obligated to participate in despite all my protests, it upsets me…

Do these things even add value to the holiday?

These holiday things are so expected, but I wonder about the worth and expense.

I recently saw a post from a mom complaining that parents shouldn’t allow “Santa” to provide extravagant gifts for kids because some kids don’t understand why Santa doesn’t give them what they want. The comments ranged from vicious to understanding, admonishing parents to teach kids to be grateful for whatever they get or not do Santa at all.

Posted by Jennifer Lambert on Tuesday, December 1, 2015

I think they missed the point.

And it got me thinking.

We teach our kids to be grateful and not to brag.
I have successfully made it through a holiday season without baking, attending any office parties, or completing any crafts.
Perhaps I went too far the other way. I need to find balance.

If I followed social media suggestions, I would be sorely depressed that my tree didn’t have a theme with matching glittery ribbon flowing through it like a river. We didn’t bake, decorate, or give artistically iced cookies with chemical-free dye. We didn’t offer handmade painted wrapping paper.

I’m tired of making excuses because I don’t give in to the expectations.

Frugal Holidays

Obstacles to Being Frugal During the Holidays

Pinterest

Don’t even get me started.

I ignored social media the last couple months so I wouldn’t feel guilty.

We have very simple holiday decorations – some thrift store candle holders and a kid-decorated tree with a handmade tree skirt. Electricity is expensive here, so we have only a minimum of lights. Seeing extravagant online home tours and fancy craft tutorials don’t make me feel good about myself.

I don’t need more kitschy crafts to keep my kids busy or to clutter up my house.

Craft items are expensive and I often can’t find many of the items.

I don’t want to see the flashing eyes of a betrayed child ever again as I admit that I tossed that gluey, glittery, sequiny creation in the garbage.

Wrapping

Rolls of colored paper, ribbons, bows, gift bags, tissue paper, tags, labels, cards…

These consumable items are so expensive just to end up in the trash!

We don’t have storage space to go to the after-Christmas sales to stock up for the next year. We have a few gift bags we reuse and some old rolls of paper. The kids really don’t care so much.

Food

Work potluck lunches, parties, cookie exchanges, church hospitality duties, treats for neighbors…

I often don’t consider these items in our monthly food budget and they sure add up!

My eldest daughter has attended a couple events where she wouldn’t eat because the food was just so unhealthy. Her friends don’t understand why she won’t eat greasy fast food pizza or fluorescent cupcakes and soda.

Presents

We don’t give many tangible presents.

Our kids know there won’t be a gazillion presents under the tree on Christmas morning. We don’t do stockings some years.

We were accused of being “like weird Jehovah’s Witnesses” at church for our values. Nice.

We celebrate St. Nicholas and Hanukkah with little gifts and games. We usually travel or have a very simple Christmas.

Since we homeschool, I don’t think much about teacher gifts, but my kids want to give a little something to the music teachers and gymnastics instructor. I love their hearts. They picked out greeting cards to hold gift cards and wrote out a note for their teachers.

Since we’re far from family, we found it easier for years just to send gift cards. I never knew what they want, anyway. We’ve recently decided to forego even that.

Those gift cards add up – and some even have activation fees! And greeting cards are $5 or more!

We don’t send out stacks of Christmas cards. We don’t purchase boxed holiday cards or photo collage cards. It’s just a waste. I loathe the braggy holiday newsletter. We keep in touch with friends and family on Facebook and I send out a greeting there.

I continue to look for ways to reduce my overwhelm and stay debt-free.

 

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How We Had the Best Christmas Ever

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This is the first year in ten years of marriage that I didn’t have a tantrum. I’m not proud of my attitude and behavior in previous years. Holidays were stressful and not full of joy at all for me.

I was determined to have a better Christmas this year.

How did we have the best Christmas ever?

How We Had the Best Christmas Ever

We changed up our focus.

I’ve been under the impression that everything had to be perfect and Hollywood magical for so long – and it’s exhausting. Of course, we study our Advent lessons about Jesus, but it really was more than that for me. That used to be just another added pressure.

I had to let go.

Simplify.

We didn’t do stockings. The kids mentioned it a couple times and I just bit my tongue and said no, not this year. I’ve always felt obligated to fill the stockings with junk and candy. We don’t have a fireplace. It was just something I had to let go.

We didn’t attend any holiday parties. The one my husband wanted to go to was smack in the middle of Tori’s end of year gymnastics class and she is more important than a plastered smile on my face and stress about how my hair looks.

Less Control.

I allowed my kids to go crazy with cookie decorating. They loved it and honestly, there was not much mess. They’re at a great age to have some freedom now. It was a pleasant time had by all.

I slacked up on school time this month. I had a few must-do’s on the list, but the rest of the time, I allowed them to play and they impressed me with their interest-led learning.

Fewer Presents.

We had intended to go on a vacation and skip the whole holiday, but that fell through and I had to scramble to purchase some things for under the tree.

I love the Something they Want, Something they Need, Something to Wear, Something to Read. I loosely followed that and it worked beautifully.

Almost everything arrived just in time for Christmas. My husband and I don’t really give each other presents and we’re ok with that. We buy what we want and need whenever throughout the year.

We didn’t make or buy presents for neighbors, coworkers, or friends. We really don’t know anyone and thankfully, we didn’t receive any from anyone so I don’t feel guilty. We sent our Christmas cards to our oil team and friends and family. I ordered presents for my husband’s niece and nephews. I sent a restaurant giftcard to my parents.

We read through Jotham’s Journey each night of the Advent season. The kids were excited each evening and reminded me it was reading time! We enjoy the candlelight service at church on Christmas Eve (except Alex, who promptly fell asleep on me).

On Christmas morning, we read the final chapters of those books first thing and sang “Go Tell it on the Mountain” – it was such a great moment to pause and worship before the present time.

In previous years, the number of presents were overwhelming and there were meltdowns from the sensory overload and stress of everything (kids and me).

This year, I got it just right.

Quality over quantity.

I love the rule of limiting presents to this:

  • Something they Want
  • Something to Wear
  • Something they Need
  • Something to Read

The kids were content, grateful, and occupied all day.

I wasn’t stressed and was able to enjoy the holiday. We all made dinner together.

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