Jennifer Lambert

A Sacred Balance

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Discouraged

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I can’t stop my tears this week.

It’s October but I feel like it’s February in my soul.

It’s been a busy week. I finally made it to grocery store at dinnertime on a Saturday night. Completely out of milk and bread. This is the epitome of domestic bliss, right? Saturday night grocery shopping, alone.

They’ve rearranged and updated the store over the last month or so. I still can’t find anything and I used to have the store memorized and my list according to aisle. I wandered around the store three times before I found the bread aisle. I was hungry and exhausted and I needed to get home to make dinner.

I cried in the bread aisle at Kroger, y’all.

No witnesses.

They’ve been out of our favorite brand of bread for over two weeks, at multiple stores. There was a preschooler having a four alarm full-blown on the floor tantrum an aisle over that echoed throughout the store, and I felt a spirit bond with her.

It was like the final straw for me this week. I just lost it in the face of so much hate, evil, and sorrow happening in the world, in our country, in our cities, in our churches. It’s overwhelming at times.

I feel so useless just going through the motions of mothering, homeschooling, housework, taxi service to the kids. Barely blogging, working just a little from home, trying to help with little tidbits where I can. Finding projects that I can do. Cutting costs, trying to save wherever to pay off debts more quickly.

My eldest just turned eighteen years old. So much potential and the scary world all wide open before her. She’s more mature, capable, honest, and confident than I was…like a year ago.

What have I done? What do I have to show for eighteen years?

I want to do so much more.

Discouraged

Earlier, I cried when my middle daughter carved her brother’s jack o’lantern. I am ashamed that I didn’t, couldn’t. She is an artist and oh, so capable. She runs circles around me with her abilities and energy and strength.

Today, I cried when my son dusted the entire house because he saw it needed it. They canceled his last baseball game of the season due to bad weather. His always cheerful attitude slays me. I’m more disappointed than he will ever be.

My youngest daughter’s drawing artwork chokes me up with her talent and abilities. What will she do in the future? She is fearless.

My children are better than I am.

And that’s how it should be, what I want for them.

I’ve cried every day recently, multiple times a day, about what I see in the news and on social media – the fear, hatred, evil, sorrow…but also so much kindness, joy, hope, love.

Let us love. Let us be kind.

May we have hope.

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Eighteen

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18.

My baby is 18 now.

An official adult.

In America, this means you can vote! and buy tobacco products (don’t). You’re still treated like a child, but expected to be mature beyond your experience.

In Europe, you could buy liquor or we could have a cocktail together in a pub.

You still don’t have your driver’s license and that’s ok. I try not to push you to do anything until you’re ready.

I know how stubborn you can be.

You’re my first baby, and I did a lot of things wrong.

I hardly felt grown myself when I had you.

I was anxious about the silly things and screwed up some important things. I was too strict in the beginning. I yelled and hit. I was childish and mean.

Then I began to understand.

You’re the reason I’ve done everything.

I pulled myself out of emotional, financial, and relationship pits for you.

We homeschooled for you.

You were my anchor.

It’s a lot of responsibility for a child’s shoulders to bear.

I have lots of regrets and apologies. I’ve tried to always be honest with you, even when I’m ashamed.

I know growing up can be scary. I know there are so many difficult decisions. Sometimes, I get scared for you. It seems that life throws lots of curveballs within just a few years and it seems like you have to make all the right decisions superfast or you will fail miserably. I feel anxiety but you have to learn and make your own way. If I catch you all the time, you won’t be able to march on. Comparing yourself to others makes it worse. I know it seems like others have it made and it looks so easy for them. I know it’s lonely. Even if you make a wrong decision (like I made so, so many), you will still eventually succeed. Your success might look different than you imagine. You can always make amends, changes, u-turns. Hearts heal. You can change your major. You can get a different job. Relationships come and go.

Life hurts.

You are resilient and strong.

I am so proud of you.

What I pray for you now that you’re spreading your wings:

Voice

I love that you know who you are. I am just figuring that out for myself.

I’m learning to listen better.

I love that you’re assertive and have opinions, even when we disagree.

I love who you are as a big sister. Thank you for caring so much.

I admire your wit.

Be careful on social media.

Be kind.

Maintain integrity in everything.

Use your voice to lift up others and make a difference. I believe you can change the world for better.

Self-Care

Learn what your body needs for health.

Yes, it really does help to go outside and enjoy nature – in every kind of weather.

Drink lots of water. It helps flush out toxins and makes you feel better. Honest.

Eat well and regularly. It regulates your metabolism. You will thank me when you’re 35.

Take time for yourself to heal and recover. But make sure you get back out there.

Safety

I still worry.

I still want to know where you are and who you’re with.

I will always be concerned.

I hope you never have to utilize those skills you learned in that 2-hour self-defense class.

I know I can’t keep you safe like I could when you were little, but I hope you’re always aware of your surroundings.

Finances

We’ve tried really hard to stay debt-free. We’ve had our ups and downs.

I want you to have a better beginning, with no student loan debt. No car loan.

Debt can be crippling to recover from.

Credit cards are not for regular use, but only for emergencies.

Start saving for wants and emergencies as soon as you can.

Money is a tool like any other.

I pray we’ve given you a great beginning.

“Intelligence plus character—that is the goal of true education.” ~Martin Luther King Jr.

“Now go, and make interesting mistakes, make amazing mistakes, make glorious and fantastic mistakes. Break rules. Leave the world more interesting for you being here. Make good art.” ~Neil Gaiman

This is 18 Around the World.

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Favorite Halloween Movies

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Halloween was always my favorite holiday when I was younger.

I love fall.

Autumn is the new year for many cultures, so maybe that’s why my soul has a yearning for new things.

I love hiking in the woods and smelling the detritus and viewing the splendor of the leaves as they pass away. Theirs is a most glorious death.

There is something magical about that crushed leaf smell on the breeze and the cool mornings with warm sunny afternoons. I love seeing pumpkins on porches. I love lighting candles as the nights begin earlier and earlier.

And the mosquitoes are gone.

Now that my girls are older, they can watch some scary movies with me. We watch certain movies for the pop culture references, film history, and to discuss how these movies portray folklore, historical circumstances, and mental illness.

I don’t like movies about possession. A lot of the modern films make me nervous. I prefer the classics before CGI.

And I still love the sweet kids’ classics that the whole family can watch together.

Favorite Halloween Movies

20 Favorite Family Friendly Halloween Movies

  1. Hocus Pocus

    “It’s a full moon tonight. That’s when all the weirdos are out.”

  2. Ernest Scared Stupid

    If you don’t love Ernest, we can’t be friends.

  3. The Addams Family

    “Are they made from real Girl Scouts?”

  4. It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown

    “There are three things I’ve learned never to discuss with people: religion, politics, and the Great Pumpkin.”

  5. Beetlejuice

  6. Practical Magic

    Always down for some midnight margaritas!

  7. Corpse Bride

    Honestly, anything and everything by Tim Burton, please.

  8. Ghostbusters

    “There is no Dana, only Zuul!”
    The new one is good too.

  9. The Haunted Mansion

    Eddie Murphy, y’all.

  10. Harry Potter series

    Perfect time of year for a movie marathon.

  11. Coco

    Such a sweet film and teaches about Mexican culture.

  12. Song of the Sea

    The sweetest Irish story and great animation and music.

  13. Hotel Transylvania series

    “I do not say blah blah blah!”

  14. Ella Enchanted

    Loads of fun!

  15. The Karate Kid

    It takes place at Halloween, ok?

  16. Spirited Away

    A sweet metaphorical story.

  17. Halloweentown

  18. Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit

    We love anything Wallace & Gromit!

  19. Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium

    Magic and a great cast!

  20. E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial

    The first movie I saw in the theatre!

There are other great movies too, but I had to keep my lists concise.

What’s your favorite Halloween movie?

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How To Talk To Your Kids About Divorce

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How To Talk To Your Kids About Divorce: 5 Tips

Divorce can be a traumatic event for every member of the family.

When a marriage ends, it can affect everyone differently, but it may have an especially significant impact on your kids. Some experts believe that divorce can have a lifelong impact on children, and others believe support and understanding is the key to helping them through the crisis.

If you and your spouse are preparing to divorce, there are a few different strategies you can use to talk to your kids in a way that may help them understand.

1.    Do Not Wait

If you and your spouse have decided that divorce is the only option, then it is a good idea to discuss it with your children as soon as possible. Putting it off only delays the inevitable, and the sooner they are aware of the situation, the more time they have to ask questions. If possible, schedule a time where you and your spouse can speak to them together, so they understand both their parents are there for them.

2.    Be Concise

Cutting back on details about your divorce can be especially helpful when you are dealing with younger kids between the ages of five to eight. Explain briefly what divorce means and how it will change your family. If the child questions why you are splitting, you can simply explain that you and your spouse are no longer happy and that it affects the happiness of the entire family.

It is important to consider the different ages of your kids when discussing divorce. Preteens and teenagers may experience a variety of emotions, from self-blame to anger at you and your spouse. Do all you can to reassure them the divorce is about your relationship with your partner, not them or their siblings, and that your love for them has not changed.

3.    Do Not Project Your Feelings

While it is normal for you and your children to be upset when discussing a divorce, remember that this is not the time to vent your feelings of anger, disappointment, and fear or to project them onto your kids. They will no doubt be dealing with some very powerful emotions themselves, so while it may be difficult, try to put aside what you feel, avoid belittling or verbally bashing your spouse, and try to give your children the support they are going to need.

4.    Seek Legal Advice Beforehand

Consulting a legal firm that has experience with family law, such as Cordell & Cordell, can provide you with the information you need before you talk to your kids. For example, a knowledgeable lawyer will likely be able to help you work out custody details and offer wise advice so you can answer your kids’ questions with more confidence. This may also help your children feel a bit more at ease.

5.    Do Not Make Kids Choose

Putting older kids in the middle of your divorce can make them feel anxious, tense, and angry. If there is a question of custody, it is important that you work it out with your spouse instead of making the children choose who they would rather live with. This can cause them to feel pressured and as if the other parent might not love them anymore because of their choice.

Forcing your kids to make choices about your divorce can cause them great mental stress. Instead, make an effort to consult a local family firm like Cordell & Cordell, which has offices in many states and can help you make the best choices about custody so your kids do not have to.

Divorce can be rough on every member of the family, but none so much as your kids. However, even if it is your only option, honesty and offering loving support can help them endure.


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12 Bullying Warning Signs

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When kids head back to school these days they face some big stressors in addition to homework grades and peer pressure. Concerns about bullying and its relationship to school violence add another layer of stress.

More than 43% of teens report being bullied online; additionally, teens are more than twice as likely to tell their peers about bullying than they are to tell parents or other adults, one study found. Victims of bullying and other early trauma often carry emotional scars into adulthood, Dr. Nelson, author of the bestselling book “The Emotion Code,” explains in this short video.

12 bullying warning signs parents should watch for:

  • Emotional upset, anxiety, and depression.
  • Frequent headaches and stomach aches.
  • Faking illness.
  • Unexplainable injuries.
  • Changes in eating habits.
  • Poor sleep / frequent nightmares.
  • A drop in school performance.
  • Not wanting to go to school.
  • Sudden loss of friends.
  • Avoidance of social situations.
  • Low self-esteem.
  • Self-destructive behaviors including self-harm, running away, or talking about suicide.

 

Dr. Nelson explains why some kids become bullies and others can become targets of bullying. He can share how parents can talk with their children to uncover and heal the emotional trauma of bullying, as well as other steps and when to take them.

“Many kids who are victimized by bullying don’t ask for help because they are afraid of being seen as weak or a tattletale, or fear backlash from the bully or rejection by friends,” Dr. Nelson says. “As a result, parents are often the last ones to know.”

“Take necessary action with the school and/or the bullies’ parents to assure the child’s safety,” Dr. Nelson says. “Help the child to know that he or she is valued and that it is safe to communicate with you as a parent or a counselor.”

About Dr. Bradley Nelson:

A holistic Chiropractic Physician and Medical Intuitive, Dr. Bradley Nelson is one of the world’s foremost experts in the emerging fields of Bioenergetic Medicine and Energy Psychology. He has certified thousands of practitioners worldwide in helping people overcome unresolved anger, depression, anxiety, loneliness, and other negative emotions and their associated physical symptoms. His bestselling book, “The Emotion Code,” provides step-by-step instructions for working with the body’s healing power. Download a free copy of the ebook and the audiobook by visiting www.EmotionCodeGift.com.

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7 Tips for Fathers Raising Daughters in Today’s World

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As Father’s Day on June 17 rolls around, we are mindful that it wasn’t that long ago when a father’s job was to attend his daughter’s pretend tea parties and make her a pretty dollhouse. But today’s fathers must navigate a new world and avoid gender specific roles.

“The fathers of today’s girls need to be engaged, creative and flexible,” says author Sheri D. Engler.

She says today’s dads should encourage girls at every opportunity.

“Women are breaking down many barriers, but there is still a lot of work to be done,” Engler says. “Today’s fathers play a critical role in their daughter’s self-image and can be instrumental in encouraging them to challenge the status quo.”

Tips for fathers who want to raise their daughters to be strong, independent women:

1. Treat women with respect.  

Your daughter is watching how you treat women, and it will have a lifelong impact on her in ways you can’t imagine. You must be cognizant of your attitude and behavior around women at all times. This includes not saying negative things to or about her mother, even if you are divorced. See yourself as a role model of the kind of man you would want your daughter to marry one day, because that frequently influences how women choose their partners.

2. Give her compliments about things other than her beauty. 

It is OK to tell your daughter she’s pretty, but that should not be the only compliment you ever give her.  Compliment her intelligence, her resourcefulness, her imagination, her many skills, her hard work, and her strength. Honestly tell her the unique things you love about her, the things that make her a good and special person.

3. Teach her the magic of self confidence.

Teach her about the power that comes from believing in herself and believing she can achieve greatness in the world, while understanding that there are many girls who simply want to be a “mommy” like their , which is the most important job in the world. In this case, they may fear failing their father’s expectations of greatness. There is a critical difference between encouragement to be who they are and pressure to be who they aren’t.

4. Teach her about what has traditionally been “guy stuff.”  

Teach her self-reliance, such as routine car maintenance, or mechanics in general. Teach her how to use tools while building a treehouse. Go fishing together. Take her to see planes at air shows, teach her photography and go birdwatching with her. It matters to spend quality time with her, because it makes her feel she is worth her dad’s time. And it doesn’t have to stop in childhood. What could you be teaching your adult daughter?

5. Let her get gritty like the boys.  

Teach her how to play sports from early on. This fosters tremendous social confidence as well as body confidence. Or just let her play in the mud and get dirty if that is what she wants to do. Girls don’t always have to be clean and pretty.

6. Introduce her to books with girl heroes. 

There are plenty of books to choose from, so when reading to her let her enjoy a variety of adventures including books with strong female leaders or other books that were written to empower girls. This will send the message that you believe in her. Or perhaps help her write a story of her own imagining herself as the hero or lead character. If nothing else this will give you a valuable view of how she sees herself so you know what’s going on with her.

7. Share music with her. 

Play your favorite music and tell her why you like it and let her do the same. Take her to concerts. If she wants to play an instrument, help her learn how. Music, and the arts in general, can be very bonding experiences.

How did your dad help you or how does your husband teach your daughter?

“The most important change for today’s fathers is that they shouldn’t box girls in or out of anything just because they are a girl,” Engler says.  “Fathers who respect the women in their lives have a better chance of raising daughters who feel deserving of respect themselves. Confidence, self-respect and family support will help them face any challenges that may come their way.”

Sheri Engler is the author/illustrator of The Pearls of Wisdom: A Fairy Tale Guide to Life’s Magic Secrets for All Ages. She is an experienced mentor, medium, and metaphysicist with a background in psychology, counseling and research. She received a BA in Clinical Psychology at San Francisco State University.  All proceeds go to the Angel Whispers Foundation, which was organized to empower young females.


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How to Save Money while Shopping

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Our grocery budget is higher than anyone’s I know.

We have different priorities for sure and food is high on the list. We don’t cut corners. We like all-natural and homemade. We like to cook and eat together. I’m home with the kids seven days a week and we all eat three meals a day together. Aaron joins us after work each night for weekday dinners and helps cook meals on weekends. My kids are turning into great bakers and cooks!

See what we eat every week. See an example of our grocery expense a few years ago.

I’m not into couponing and most of the items I regularly buy aren’t in regular coupon circulars anyway.

I want to be a good steward of our financial resources and I want to teach my kids about budgeting and being good stewards as well. It’s a constant balance between spending more on the better quality and healthier options and trying to save money where it counts.

I primarily shop at Kroger since that’s our closest grocery store. I really like Meijer, but there are only a few in our area that I occasionally shop at. I buy several things at our base commissary each month, like bacon, sausage, and cat litter – because they’re remarkably cheaper and tax-free. We buy all our meats at a local butcher shop. I occasionally shop at our local Walmart. I shop at Costco every few months to stock up on a few items. I buy cat food and wild bird seed at Chewy because it saves me time and money and I don’t have to lift the bags except to drag them into my house.

I shop online for lots so I don’t have to interact with too many people. I also like self-checkout when I can! The site to store shipping option is my fave.

Shopping isn’t entertainment for me. I don’t like browsing or window shopping.

I usually check these FREE apps on Thursdays when they update.

How to Save Money while Shopping:

Ibotta

This is my favorite service where you upload your receipts for 287 participating stores and receive instant rebates.

It’s most convenient on mobile where you can you access the camera to take pics and upload the receipt.

For Walmart and some other stores, you just scan the QR code on the receipt and it’s smart and does the rest for you!

You choose your store and the items you’ve purchased each week to receive cash back on those purchases.

Sometimes, there are offers on “any item” or “any brand” and those are wonderful.

There are bonuses each month or so that you can earn more.

You can use this app to earn even more when you shop online.

Some of the deals are combos, like you buy a certain brand of crackers and any kind of cheese.

There are great rebates on baby items.

You can cash out once you’ve earned $20. They send via Paypal.

I love love LOVE that it offers deals at military commissaries.

I’ve earned over $70 this year with iBotta.

Sign up for Ibotta now!

Checkout 51

This is another service where you upload your receipts for participating stores and receive instant rebates.

This app has improved a great deal in the last few years. They are consistent with a few brands but offer great deals on those. You can link brand accounts to save even more. I love that they offer Back to Nature and Bob’s Red Mill and other more natural organic product deals.

You can add loyalty cards to the app for a few participating stores. Sometimes, you can earn on several items at once.

It’s also most convenient on mobile where you can you access the camera to take pics to upload your receipt.

You choose the items you’ve purchased, upload your receipt, and receive cash back on those purchases.

You can cash out once you’ve earned $20.

I’ve earned over $20 this year with Checkout 51. They only mail checks, which I don’t really like.

Sign up for Checkout 51 now!

eBates

Ebates Coupons and Cash Back

I’ve earned over $150 shopping online for things I would buy anyway.

I use eBates when I buy floral arrangements for my mom or friends.

I use it when I’m buying needed items at Kohl’s or Lowe’s or Walmart and use the ship to store option. It saves me time and earns me money!

It’s free and even has a nifty little Chrome plugin so it manages coupon codes and alerts you if there’s a better deal at a competing store.

You can link a credit or debit card to earn cash back when you shop in-store!

Join eBates now!

Coupons

I don’t do many coupons and I don’t follow my favorite brands on social media or subscribe to newsletters to get updates and deals. I know that there are some good options out there on some items. I find that the little savings they offer isn’t worth the stress and clutter of my inbox and mailbox.

I like the Kroger app for in-store coupons for things I’m going to buy anyway. Kroger also mails me coupons periodically for items I’ve bought in the past.

I have apps for Hobby Lobby, Joann, and Michael’s for their weekly coupons – that I utilize only the once in a while that I shop there.

I check the Kohl’s app for coupon codes before buying. This is pretty much the only clothing store I use.

And I use the Chick-fil-A app to earn free items!

Loyalty Cards

These irritate me to no end, but I try to remember to use them. It seems that every store has a loyalty card these days and some of the perks are barely worth it. I like the Kroger card to save on gas and store brand items. If the store has an app that I can link the loyalty card to, I am much happier.

We move so frequently and the cards aren’t always transferrable or the store isn’t in our new city or state. Then we have to start all over again.

What unique ways do you save money?

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5 Ways For Parents To Empower Daughters In An Unkind World

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While opportunities for women have advanced significantly in recent decades, studies reflect that the path to personal independence and growth isn’t always smooth – starting in early childhood up through high school.

Gender stereotypes persist.

According to a survey of 1,900 girls and young women between 7 and 21, conducted by the charity Girlguiding, many feel that pressure from social media, TV, friends, teachers and parents affects how they think and act. Another study in the Journal of Adolescent Health reported that stereotypes of girls were reinforced by schools, parents and the media, thereby limiting their mobility and access to opportunities.

One possible answer, says mentor and author Sheri Engler, is for parents to empower their daughters from a young age.

“We parents need to take the necessary time from our busy lives to find out what our daughters are experiencing on a daily basis,” says Engler.

“We must break down barriers to success early on. Otherwise, girls frequently surrender their ‘surplus’ qualities before they even leave grade school, because they feel they won’t be accepted if they are ‘too much.’ They are not allowed too many gifts for fear of alienating boys and competing with other girls. This has to stop.”

Five ways parents can empower their daughters and help them grow into strong, successful women:

Explain the social dynamic.

Help them understand the reasons why boys may be intimidated by powerful girls, and why girls may become jealous and pull down a girl who has too much.

Help them avoid social programming.

Most forms of mass media “bombard girls with destructive messages.” With character development so important, parents need to offer more positive influences. Discouraging Facebook is a good place to start due to its entrainment of a ‘me-oriented’ society.

Provide social alternatives.

Connecting with other parents and families who hold similar values is one option. Perhaps consider online or home schooling if your child is being affected by negative conditioning from peers and/or misguided authority figures. Parents need to find out what’s really going on with their daughters, both at home and at school. Sadly, damaging messages come from every direction.

Teach them to help others.

Parents can role-model strengthening values. These values could be exemplified by going together to volunteer in soup kitchens, to foster homeless animals, or to visit lonely, old people in nursing homes. Learning compassion for others supports strong self-esteem through character building.

Help them identify their unique desires and abilities.

Encourage pride in being who they are on an authentic level. Help them experience life’s many aspects so they may explore their natural abilities and interests, while paying particular attention to what truly brings them joy – because that is usually where their authentic selves reside.

We need to prevent damage early on, instead of trying to fix it after it’s too late.

About Sheri Engler:

Author/illustrator of The Pearls of Wisdom: A Fairy Tale Guide to Life’s Magic Secrets for All Ages. She is an experienced mentor, medium, and metaphysicist with a background in psychology, counseling and research. She received a BA in Clinical Psychology at San Francisco State University. Follow Sheri on Twitter.

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A Peaceful Home

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I see so many questions about homeschooling and parenting. In the absence of a village, parents flock to Facebook to crowdsource answers. Those answers are often based on experience. They’re not always the best answers nor do they work for everyone.

I find the easiest and best answer to most parenting and homeschooling questions, whether about behavior issues or scheduling or feeling just worn out from the endless chatter and noise of a houseful of young children is to create a peaceful home atmosphere.

But how does one do that? What does it look like?

When I had my third child, I was worn out. I couldn’t understand why I never felt like I could complete a day without lots of caffeine and needed to nap when my toddler and baby did in the early afternoon, praying my older child just read or played quietly in her room.

I was homeschooling. I was keeping a spotless home. I was doing, doing, doing.

I was exhausted and miserable. I hated myself. I hated my husband. I even hated my kids.

I felt like a failure.

I knew it wasn’t right. I knew something was wrong, but I couldn’t place my finger on it nor could I pull myself out of it.

I asked my pastor’s wife for a meeting and she arrived at my home where I had cleaned and stressed over providing her homemade lemonade and fresh-baked cookies.

While I expected to be pointed to Bible verses about the Proverbs 31 women, she asked some practical questions. When were we eating dinner? When was bedtime? Why were the kids’ things all hidden away from the public rooms?

I also went to a doctor to rule out physical issues. I was put on a supplement regimen for adrenal failure.

Then I implemented a new peaceful lifestyle.

It took years to get comfortable with who I am and how I live and what my priorities and preferences are.

I shouldn’t have to make excuses for my priorities. I try to be patient with people who aren’t where I am in the spiritual journey.

This is a key to happiness.

How to Create a Peaceful Home:

Self.

Understand your past, your story – and know your triggers. Deal with it.

If you’re anxious or tired or ill, make the necessary changes to heal yourself.

If you’ve suffered some traumatic experience, get professional help to work through it.

Nurture yourself. Pray or meditate, get outside, exercise, eat well.

Deal with finances. Do your best to get out of debt.

Work through any idols or addictions.

Legalism is the opposite of peace. Set goals and priorities but don’t worry about so many rules and regulations.

Realize that we go through cycles and seasons, just like nature.

Space.

Remove clutter. Feng shui ideas really do help remove anxiety.

Go minimalist. If you have to buy something to put somethings in, you have too much stuff.

Soothing color scheme. My house is decorated in all blues and greens, because these are my favorite colors, but they’re also calming.

Aromatherapy and music. We have diffusers in every rooms with essential oils. We often listen to music while making and eating meals.

Practice hygge.

Have tech-free time to connect.

Spouse.

(or significant other or pet or whatever)

Practice nonviolent communication.

Argue intelligently, calmly, and lovingly. You don’t have to hide conflict from your children. They need to learn healthy resolution.

Learn how to really apologize.

Be constant students of each other.

Don’t make excuses to be complacent. Don’t get lazy. Those are causes of adultery and midlife crises.

Yeah, most days are boring and tedious. It’s not all romance and over-the-top. Duty outweighs everything else.

Children.

Model self-control.

Coach on healthy relationships.

Don’t force sharing.

Don’t punish, bribe, or reward. Gently guide and communicate well.

Spanking is abuse. Never, ever hit a child.

Allow for lots of unstructured play time and go outdoors every day.

Maybe you grew up in a household with strife and you don’t really have a relationship with your siblings.

Don’t let your kids make those same mistakes.

Most days are ordinary. They don’t have to be drenched in negativity. Find the extraordinary in the tiniest of things.

Service.

Focus on others first.

But don’t neglect yourself.

We need to teach our kids empathy and kindness. We do that by modeling it.

Do your part to make the world a better place. It may be charity work, recycling, cycling or walking instead of driving, cleaning a creek, planting a garden, whatever.

What can you begin doing right now towards a more peaceful home?


Linking up: Modest Mom, Our Holiday Journey, Inspiration for Moms, Lori Schumaker, Holley Gerth, Create with Joy, God Sized Dreams, Darling Downs Diaries, Squishable Baby, Blogghetti, Our Mini Family, MaryAndering Creatively, April Harris, Timeless Mama, Home Stories A to Z, Teaching What is Good, Lou Lou Girls, Meghan Weyerbacher, Purposeful Faith, Trekking Thru, Jessi’s Design, Wise Woman, Journeys in Grace, Soaring with Him, Jaime Wiebel, Mississippi Mom, Sarah Frazer, Gingersnap Crafts, Ducks in a Row, Our Three Peas, Bringing up Georgia, Breakthrough Homeschooling,  Simply Sweet Home, Home Crafts by Ali, Feathering My Empty Nest, Overwhelmed to Fulfilled, Easy Peasy Pleasy, Anna Nuttall, The Answer is CHocolate, Cup of Tea, RCH Reviews, Momfessionals, Katherine’s Corner, Blended Blog, The Charm of Home, Susan Mead, Lyli Dunbar, Counting My Blessings, Arabah Joy, Create with Joy, Coffee with Us3, Life with Lorelai, Being a Wordsmith  Our Mini Family

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6 Steps Toward Financial Security

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Between the staggering statistics on average household debt and the difficult economic climate, there is a lot of discussion about family finances. If you struggle with budgeting, thinking about managing your money better can seem overwhelming. However, even small steps can make a big difference, especially in the long term.

Here some simple ways to start taking control of your financial independence.

1. Analyze Your Debt

If you are spending money every month paying off debt, you know how big of an impact it can have on your overall finances. You may have a goal of paying off all your loans, but that process can take several years. Before you start making bigger payments toward your debt, you may want to figure out the most efficient way to pay it off. You could start with the credit card with the highest interest. Maybe you want to refinance to consolidate your debt. Try to find the plan that works best with your income and goals.

2. Make Savings Automatic

You may find it much easier to allocate money to your savings account if you don’t have to think about it. There are several ways to make saving automatic. You can request to have part of your paycheck deposited in a savings account or set up an automatic transfer at your bank. You can also use a savings app to move money into savings automatically.

3. Recycle and Reuse

If a lot of your budget goes toward disposable items, you may want to think about changing to reusable alternatives. Switching to cloth napkins and ditching the paper plates can save you money and reduce your environmental impact as well.

4. Lower Energy Consumption

Utility bills can be expensive, but you can make a few simple changes to lower your usage and your monthly costs. Consider switching to energy-efficient light bulbs and low-flow showerheads. You can also use a programmable thermostat to reduce the load on your home’s HVAC system when you are out of the house.

5. Use the Library

For most families, entertainment takes a large percentage of the discretionary spending. Whether your family loves books, movies, or music, you can drastically reduce your spending by taking advantage of your local library. Most libraries have large selections of CDs and DVDs along with magazines and books. You can also check to see if your library offers eBooks through an online service.

6. Take It Slow

When you decide to take control of your family finances, it can be discouraging if you don’t see big changes in your bank account right away. However, changing your financial habits can take time. Be patient with yourself and your family, and find encouragement in small changes.

Financial management can take a long time to master, especially if you are overseeing all the income and expenditures for your entire household. If you are trying to save more money or pay off debt, there are several small things you can do to start moving in the right direction without dramatically changing your entire lifestyle. Reducing your home’s energy consumption, making savings automatic, and using the library are just a few ways to reduce your expenses and grow your savings.

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