God has been dealing with me this summer. He’s pruning my heart and guiding me into a more perfect relationship with Him and my family.
Here are the lessons I’m learning:
What is God teaching you lately?
I am a blogger.
I love Jesus.
I am always learning new strategy for blogging. I refuse to compromise my principles. I am always honing my worldview and I want to learn as much as I can about everything so I can live well for Jesus.
People take offense to everything. There’s always someone getting her panties in a wad over something.
Everyone loves labels.
Christian. Blogger. Wife. Mom. Homeschooler. Daughter. Military spouse.
I get it. It makes lots of people comfortable to file everyone away into safe little cubby-holes.
There are oodles of Christian blogger groups on Facebook and Google+. I quit them all. So much judgmentalism.
And why, oh why, does it ever have to be about denomination?
I often gloss over topics I post, too scared to write what I really think and feel, too worried about offending. Those who know me in real life certainly know I rarely open my mouth without absolute truth flowing free.
I am me.
It was exhausting. Two failed marriages. Countless broken friendships. So much heartache.
I was consumed with trying to be who I thought society wanted me to be.
But eventually, I started listening to that still small voice and it started drowning out the lies I’d been hearing.
My pastor’s wife once showed surprise that I had not been raised as a Christian. I started attending church quite late in my 20s. It was still a very rocky and long road to learn to learn to become a godly wife and parent.
I wonder why she was surprised though? Am I so complacent in my faith walk that it seemed like I had never strayed? Or am I too good at covering up my past filthy sinful life?
I suppose it was a compliment – but I don’t receive those well and overanalyzed it, as usual.
A bloggy friend of mine recently expressed that blogging is exhausting. She recently got two email replies to the same newsletter:
1) the reader demanding to be removed from the email list due to a difference in faith opinion
and
2) a praise to the high heavens and thanking her for her writing.
I can’t please everyone all the time and I shouldn’t even try.
I just need to be who God made me to be. I need to write what God places on my heart, however hard it is sometimes.
Sometimes I use bad language. I drink wine and beer and sometimes even a mixed drink. I yell at my kids when they act stupid. Sometimes I holler at them when I’m tired and/or frustrated. I get mad at my husband for dumb stuff. I watch horror movies. My teen daughters watch horror shows and movies. I am often ashamed of myself.
I’m not perfect.
But I am forgiven.
I shouldn’t feel obligated to confess or apologize to you unless I personally sin against you. But I lie awake at night worrying about social media and the blog and if you like me. And you don’t even know me.
I’m not one to spout Bible verses on Facebook because I know how that can hurt when people don’t understand.
I read all sorts of blogs with all sorts of different topics. They are all good but many would be probably offensive to most of you. So I seldom share them.
“Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves. Matthew 10:16
I like to know what’s going on in the world and I want to view many different opinions before I make a decision. I don’t want to be biased. Many Christians are so very narrow-minded. I’m raising my children to be aware of the world with its evils and wonders. I want our family to be courteous and respectful, but not ignorant.
I want us to seek good and always be delighted when we find it.
I know many, many Christians who run the gamut and totally blast any stereotypes out of the water.
Blue hair and liberal politics. Essential oils, herbs, babywearing, and nursing until the kid is five. Skirt-wearing, conservative, homesteading. Keeping the Torah laws. Large family, no TV, hymn-singing, no make-up. Only child, special needs, living in an RV. Praying through all circumstances on faith, no debt, living on a prayer. Bohemian, living in the margins of society, tattoos, piercings. Cleavage showing, cropped bleached hair, blended family, adopted kids of all shades from all over the world. Fat, voluptuous, skinny. Pushing a cutting edge trend or ultra conservative. Black, brown, white. Working moms, SAHMs, WAHMs, bloggers, writers, teachers, homeschoolers…
It’s all war.
Does it really matter?
If I wear makeup or watch TV or blog in the nude (I don’t, but you’d never know!), why do you care?
Do my personal choices infringe on your family discipleship plans? Then don’t read it. Keep scrolling.
Does it matter what I do if I have love? Because I don’t think it matters so much what you do, as long as you love others. The little things are between you and God. And perhaps your husband and children and certain family and friends. It’s all really about relationships.
When Christian bloggers have to crowdsource whether they should attend a sibling’s gay wedding, I think they may have missed the big picture. When judging occurs at the expense of love, that’s a problem. She asked for permission to sever a close relationship. And she received a resounding YES from other Christians!
I recently saw an ad to a conference “for successful Christian bloggers.”
I wonder what they consider “success.” Success in the world? Or in God’s kingdom? Because they are two totally different things and they constantly war within me as I struggle with setting boundaries and standards for my online presence without selling my soul – and yet this is more than a ministry. It is a lil business.
Bloggers seems to have a whole lot of influence, and marketers capitalize on this by offering products and services for review. I’m tempted all the time to get something for free, even if I know it doesn’t suit my family or it may compromise my values. And yet I see bloggers with reviews on their blogs for all these crazy things, and I just wonder: what is it that’s important to them? What are their values and boundaries?
As a lover of Jesus, I am called to be “not of this world.” I’m already thinking ahead. I’m trying to live now like it should be. On earth as it is in heaven. In the now.
If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. John 15:19
I am no expert at anything.
So many Christians are in “the first part of their lives” and rely on rules and legalism…yet they never make it to “the second part” of spiritual maturity with unconditional love and the fruit of the Spirit. They know the Bible and spout verses to represent exclusivity. They miss the point of unconditional love and what Jesus teaches.
I seldom attend church. Are you shocked?
Before you get your Bible verse weapons ready, ask yourself: who taught you what you think believe?
I no longer use the term Christian or evangelical. Those words just mean hate these days.
I love Jesus.
I love it when people comment that my views and experiences help them.
It seems that many moms (especially in Utah) create these bizarre phrases as expletives instead of actually cussing:
Oh, my heck!
Oh, my Hannah! (who’s Hannah?)
Other than grating on my ever-last nerve, these replacements only magnify the words they are so desperately trying not to say.
And I see on social media: OMGosh or OMGoodness instead of the standard OMG acronym.
Does it make any difference?
Are you holier for not actually saying it?
It’s legalistic language. It doesn’t matter, yet it does sometimes.
My favorite is a comic skit by Tim Hawkins, who requested alternatives to cursing and our favorite from the movie Three Amigos is: Son of a Motherless Goat.
Some words are very necessary but our society says they are embarrassing or ugly. We should not be ashamed to name our body parts and functions with the correct words instead of silly slang or babyish words. It’s important to know and be aware what is happening in our bodies, to be able to express and explain. It reduces the stigma around our bodies, functions, and its parts that should be private, but never secrets. How we speak to medical professionals, our spouses, our children about our bodies is important.
But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. Matthew 12:36 NKJV
I once heard a sermon on mincing words and it made me really think about what we say in our most emotional moments.
What we put in our hearts comes out.
Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Philippians 4:8 ESV
We train our children to say what they mean and mean what they say.
But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one. Matthew 5:37 NKJV
My preschooler Alex watches Spiderman and Batman and Transformers cartoons on Netflix on his iPad, and he always glances up at me in horror and informs me, “Mama, we don’t say [stupid, idiot, shut up, etc.]!
I love that my kids are that sensitive to language and they are careful with their words. And we also need to practice being loving with our tone when we speak.
The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. Proverbs 18:21 NIV
We don’t say “Oh, my goodness.”
“Why do you call me good?” Jesus asked. “Only God is truly good.” Mark 10:18 NLT
The Bible tells us that we should not say the Lord’s names in vain. We shouldn’t use the names of God irreverently.
God knows when we’re praying, so we don’t feel the need to repeat ourselves dozens of times, saying “Oh, God, Jesus…” as filler.
When we say, “Oh, my God!” isn’t that a form of prayer?
You must not misuse the name of the Lord your God. The Lord will not let you go unpunished if you misuse his name. Exodus 20:7 NLT
I teach my kids speaking skills. I encourage them to slow down and enunciate clearly and use good words to convey what they need to say. We are storytellers.
Expletives are vulgar language and they are. “Vulgar” means “common.”
I don’t want my family to be common.
I’m raising royalty.
When my teens want to feel big and bad and try out ugly words, I let them in the comfort of home and with their friends, but I teach them how to code switch in front of others and when it may not be appropriate, when they should be more careful or how they speak.
Many people have problems with certain words and foul language, just like with piercings and tattoos.
It’s one thing to say a word, it’s another thing to direct that word at someone.
It’s about respect.
I never know what to do with the baskets. I dread disappointment in my kids’ eyes on Easter morning. I hope to plan better in future.
I remember Easter mornings, my mom left a trail of jellybeans from my bedroom to my Easter basket in the dining room. It was fun! We try not to let our kids spend Easter weekend in a sugar coma so we like to give other items besides candy. (But we do eat some candy on holidays!)
Choose a basket set and make a theme or get a few different things your child might enjoy.
Check out Dayspring and Christianbook.com for ideas!
set
, field guides
, geodes, field guidesI don’t want to blow a bunch of money on worthless $1 store items and chemical sugary candy we don’t need, but I feel pressure to have that morning excitement from my kids.
I don’t want to do away with the baskets altogether. But I know I need to set some guidelines so that I don’t waste money and get all extra.
Beach: Use a sand bucket
Cooking: use a pretty mixing bowl
Crafts: use a fun supplies storage carousel
Older Kids and Teens: make the basket out of a witty T-shirt
Bibliophile: giftcards to a bookstore or Amazon
Happy Easter! Have fun.
Don’t stress, even if your entire extended family is coming over for dinner.
Check out more Easter Resources.We’ve all heard the lesson and seen the lovely images with the call to action about how we have to get out of the boat to follow Jesus.
And many of us do get out of the boat and then get bogged down in life and start to doubt and sink in despair. Some cry out to Jesus but others, too proud to ask, tread water and thrash and flail on our own rather than admit we need any help.
How far are you from Jesus?
Let’s look at how far away Peter was when he feared the wind and cried out to Jesus to save him:
Jesus Walks on the Water
22 Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. 23 After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, 24 and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.
25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.
27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
29 “Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
32 And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. 33 Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”
34 When they had crossed over, they landed at Gennesaret. 35 And when the men of that place recognized Jesus, they sent word to all the surrounding country. People brought all their sick to him 36 and begged him to let the sick just touch the edge of his cloak, and all who touched it were healed.
Matthew 14:22-36
I assume Jesus was only an arm’s length away. Certainly, He was close.
Peter looked away from Jesus. He saw the wind. He was afraid. He cried out to Jesus.
Immediately, Jesus reached out his hand and caught him.
Jesus is never far away. He’s always right there, waiting for us to cry out to Him.
And He will immediately catch us.
How often are we in a storm and overwhelmed with watching the wind and waves and rain in fear – and we don’t see Jesus right there in front of us? He’s waiting, watching us, ready to come when we call.
How often are we distracted by emails, tablets, smartphones, husbands, children, chores, friends, church activities, family events, social activities…
And we don’t see Jesus because of all those distractions. He’s waiting, watching us, ready to come when we call.
“You of little faith,” he said, “why do you doubt?”
We often start walking on the water towards Jesus. We begin on the right path, then we get distracted. We get confused. Why do we doubt?
He’s waiting, watching us, ready to come when we call.
Stop watching the wind. Keep your eyes on Jesus.
After a week of illness and injury, I am overjoyed to be physically well again.
The lambs took care of me when I was down for the count the other morning.
Wolfberry superjuice, homemade chicken noodle soup with Thieves essential oil, and my coffee.
I was so sick I only drank half a cup of coffee that day.
That should let y’all know how sick I was!
I broke down and went the doctor, more for a diagnosis than to get any prescription. I wanted to know what this monster was so I could attack it with the proper essential oils and supplements.
The funny thing?
Of course they said it’s a virus.
But the blood work showed I am perfectly healthy. No bacteria. No virus. No nothing.
Hmmm.
This week has been rough. When I tagged this picture earlier online, I used the hashtag #spiritualwarfare because I didn’t know what it was.
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:12
I popped my back Monday morning when I picked up Alex to carry him downstairs. I spent the day on the sofa, attempting to keep everyone on task while popping essential oil capsules.
When I woke up Tuesday, my back was much better, but my hips were excruciating. My husband said it was probably from compensating for my back pain. Could be. I spent another half day on the couch.
I thought I was getting headachey and sore from all the rain and storms. The barometric pressure affects me.
Praise Him in the storm!
He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed. Psalm 107:29
Then I got really sick. Like fever, headache from hell, aches kinda sick. I felt like someone had punched me in my armpits. It was so weird. I could barely stay upright and couldn’t function.
The house was a mess. No school was accomplished. Chaos.
I took essential oils Thieves, Frankincense, and Oregano in gelatin capsules before bed Wednesday night and when I woke up Thursday. I spent the morning in bed.
Then I went to the doctor (to get that diagnosis to know which essential oils to take. “I had a virus.” Always their answer since they don’t know!).
I took another capsule when I got home and spent the day in bed. Also oregano on my spine. Another blend on my spine and chest. Thieves on my feet.
I felt better in the evening and even went to my youngest daughter’s soccer practice and out to dinner with the family.
More essential oils before bed.
I woke up Friday right as rain. Energetic and cheerful. Pain free.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
Praising Jesus and having a new appreciation for those who are in constant pain or have chronic illness. Jesus brought you to my mind. I pray for you. I don’t know how you live with it. Just one week of it did me in. I think He wanted me to know what it’s like for some people. Now I can relate.
God hears us.
He knows our names and He knows what delights us.
Even when we’re discouraged and the devil’s lies seem louder than our own faith, He listens and comforts with His Word.
This week has been a series of missed appointments, let-downs, not-good-enough’s and oh-woe-is-me’s. I felt depression seeping in and I wanted to just stop fighting.
I felt less-than and not measuring up to the standards I set for myself.
My children noticed. My husband was at a loss as to how to help. {But cupcakes are always welcome.}
We have His Word, which is more than many people have in this world. We can read scriptures to learn about God and encourage our hearts.
I had just mentioned to my family that I hadn’t seen any hummingbirds this year and they must’ve passed us by somehow.
The the other morning, he came and hovered and chittered at me for quite a full minute. He didn’t even drink from the feeder. Then there were two more and they fought over the feeder rights. I sat on my deck in awe and delight watching these little war machines zoom back and forth and scold each other.
God knows what delights us and He knows when we need a faith boost.
This afternoon in the minivan, hot and tired, driving home with my three little kids from soccer physicals and sign-ups, grocery shopping, gassing up the van…
I broke down in God’s presence. His love surrounded me. I was overwhelmed with gratitude.
God’s Word reminds me…
It’s important to learn how to let go and let be. The Holy Spirit is powerful indeed.
Do you offer the “grace of presence” to your children?
Are you an intentional parent?
We Christians hear lots about grace, but do we offer it to our children? Do we model Christ’s grace in a way that they understand it?
Grace-filled family leadership is all about turning mistakes into opportunities for growth.
~Lead Your Family Like Jesus
I know there are too many times that I am “too busy” for my children. I get frustrated, tired, lazy, overwhelmed. I homeschool all four of them and I feel I deserve a break every now and then.
I must remind myself to rely on His strength.
When the devil baits me with my children’s disobedience {or because of my own lack of diligence and consistency as a parent}, I must respond with grace. I must trust in God to speak the right words and show the right actions.
It takes so much more effort to answer my children {and their behavior} patiently and kindly and seize the teachable moment, but it really pays off in the end.
I am too often reminded by gentle nudgings from my Father…I sometimes try too hard. I sometimes forget. I sometimes stop trusting.
When I stray from His path, then I get tired and lazy and full of self.
By trusting my God for answers in everything, especially parenting – because that is my number one priority – I am modeling for my children to trust me. I want them to trust that I have their best interests at heart, just as Jesus has our best interests in His heart. Children don’t always understand the why’s, and we don’t always understand His will, but we must trust and model that trust for our children.
We also must model grace.
If I am constantly harsh and unyielding, then it’s going to inspire rebellion and not obedience. I have to be a “yes mom” sometimes. I have to offer grace sometimes. I have to realize that sometimes natural consequences are more than sufficient for teaching a lesson. They don’t further need me to heap coals on their heads.
I want to be a fun mom who does the fun things and not the mean mom who always says no.
To extend grace, I must be intentional. I must be present. {Present means undivided attention – not on the computer while in the same room.}
I must know my children. I must know their hearts and desires and likes and dislikes. I must teach by example.
Only Jesus can fill us, but surely parents {more than anyone else} guide the way and help children accept Him. I want to witness my kids’ spiritual growth, as well as their intellectual and physical growth. I want to grow leaders for Jesus.
This is why we homeschool.
Grace.
Last night I tweeted:
Several asked about the stories.
To God be the glory.
Background info first:
When I first began blogging in December 2010, it was primarily a scrapbook of my children. Because I’m not a scrapbooker. I have several Rubbermaid tubs full of items that I should scrapbook, but this is so much easier.
But looking back, I can see the plans God had for me. and for my blogs.
God has grown me – through blogging and through my connections with other bloggers and readers.
My faith increased as I learned to let go and let Him guide my words. As I let Him guide my priorities – marriage and parenting and homeschooling – and blogging.
I want to be an intentional blogger.
If the blog began as a memory book, I am now chronicling a faith journey.
Here’s the Google definition of Intentional: “Adjective. Done on purpose; deliberate. Synonyms: deliberate – wilful – willful – purposeful – intended.”
I love it. And I am already willful. ha!
This last year, as I learned more about blogging and listened to God’s will for my blogs, homeschool, life… I realize that it all belongs to Him. I am His steward of these words and He brings readers, income, opportunities in His timing.
Be humble in the presence of God’s mighty power, and he will honor you when the time comes. God cares for you, so turn all your worries over to him.
1 Peter 5:6-7 CEV
I knew long ago that I am not a salesgirl. It’s not my spiritual gift, for sure.
So, I know that I must be authentic to endorse a product or book. I must love it to encourage readers to buy it. I do lots of reviews and some products aren’t my favorites but I hope everyone knows where my heart lies. When you click on an affiliate link, it goes to support my blog ministry – and my family. I don’t want to lose your trust by spamming you with lots of ads for products I don’t even use. I pray hard over the posts I write and the items I mention on my blogs and social media are things we use and love (or have in the past) or that I think will be helpful to readers.
Now for the stories!
everything
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord…
Colossians 3:23
It’s all God. Do everything with His heart in mind.
Join me in being intentional in blogging – in everything.
Who?
All of us. Each and every one. To love.
To love.
To love whom?
Everyone.
Love Everyone.
It’s real simple, y’all.
Let all that you do be done in love. 1 Corinthians 16:14
So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.
I read posts all the time about loving our spouses and children. If we need to be admonished to do that, how much more must we be reminded to love everyone else?
In light of everything in the news lately, I am disheartened. So much hate.
But Christians must not compromise. We must love.
We are the examples.
Little eyes and ears are always present.
What example are you setting if you love one and not the other?
What do your children think if they are confused by unforgiveness or bitterness?
We’ve traveled and moved all over and seen many different peoples and cultures.
We learn about them and their history. This is how we learn not to fear differences.
This is how we learn to love.
We are called to Love Everyone.
Resources:
