Jennifer Lambert

A Sacred Balance

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Celebrating Saint Lucia’s Day

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We enjoy celebrating holidays from around the world.

St. Lucia’s Day is a lovely celebration for children.

Celebrating Saint Lucia's Day

St. Lucia Day History

The celebration of St. Lucia comes from stories that were told by monks who first brought Christianity to Sweden.

December 13th was also the Winter Solstice, the shortest day of the year, in the old “Julian” calendar and a pagan festival of lights in Sweden was turned into St. Lucia’s Day.

St. Lucia’s Day is celebrated by a girl dressing in a white dress with  red sash and a wreath with candles on her head. Small children use electric candles, but from about 12 years old, real candles are often used. The crown is traditionally made of lingonberry branches which are evergreen and symbolise new life in winter.

A national Lucia is chosen in Sweden every year. Lucias visit hospitals and homes for the elderly, singing a song about St. Lucia and handing out Pepparkakor, ginger biscuits.

Boys might dress up as Stjärngossar (star boys) and small girls might be attendant Tärnor (like Lucia but without the candles).

A popular food eaten at St. Lucia’s day are Lussekatts, buns flavored with saffron and dotted with raisins which are eaten for breakfast.

St. Lucia Crafts and Activities

A fun recipe for St. Lucia Cookies

Catholic Icing paper dolls

Making Learning Fun printables

Felt crowns from JoyFilled Family

Lots of activities from The Kennedy Adventures

Paper crowns and star hats from Kiddley

Another paper crown from Sweet Paul

Swedish holiday books from What Do We Do All Day

Arthur episode about St. Lucia on PBS Kids

St. Lucia Books

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Celebrating Martinmas

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St. Martin is the patron saint of beggars, drunkards, and the poor.

His feast day falls during the wine harvest in Europe, he is also the patron saint of wine growers and innkeepers.

In the agricultural calendar it marks the beginning of the natural winter, but in the economic calendar it is seen as the end of autumn. Because it comes before the penitential season of Advent, it is seen as a mini “carnivale,” with feasting and bonfires.

St. Martin’s Feast is much like the American Thanksgiving – a celebration of the earth’s bounty.

Tradition says that if it snows on the feast of St. Martin, November 11, then St. Martin came on a white horse and there will be snow on Christmas day. However, if it doesn’t snow on this day, then St. Martin came on a dark horse and it will not snow on Christmas.

Children often dress up and go around with lanterns as beggars for sweets. Sound like Halloween?

Celebrating Martinmas

How to Celebrate Martinmas

Make a Lantern

I love these examples of homemade lanterns:

St. Martin’s Bags

Ġewż, Lewż, Qastan, Tin
Kemm inħobbu lil San Martin.

Walnuts, Almonds, Chestnuts, Figs
I very much love Saint Martin.

Give to the Poor

Donating clothing to the poor is in remembrance of St. Martin cutting his cloak in half for the beggar during a snowstorm.

Pray for Military

St. Martin was a Roman soldier and November 11th is Armistice Day and Veterans Day.

Bonfires

Foods

Martinmas is the end of fall harvest, so breads and cakes are common.

Pretzels, croissants, and horseshoe-shaped almond sweets represent St. Martin’s white horse.

Goose is often eaten in Germany.

The legend goes that whilst trying to avoid being ordained bishop, St Martin hid in a goose pen only to be betrayed by the squawking of the geese. Around Europe, many people still celebrate Martinmas with roast goose dinners.

Beef is popular in Ireland and the UK.

Rhymes

If the wind is in the south-west on St Martin’s Day (11th), it will stay there right through to Candlemas in February, thus ensuring a mild and snow-free winter.

“Wind north-west at Martinmas, severe winter to come.”

“If ducks do slide at Martinmas
At Christmas they will swim;
If ducks do swim at Martinmas
At Christmas they will slide”

“Thunder in November means winter will be late in coming and going”

“If the geese at Martin’s Day stand on ice, they will walk in mud at Christmas.”

Ice before Martinmas,
Enough to bear a duck.
The rest of winter,
Is sure to be but muck!”

É dia de São Martinho;
comem-se castanhas, prova-se o vinho.
It is St. Martin’s Day,
we’ll eat chestnuts, we’ll taste the wine.

A cada cerdo le llega su San Martín.
Every pig gets its St Martin. The phrase is used to indicate that wrongdoers eventually get their comeuppance.

Martinmas celebrations begin at the eleventh minute of the eleventh hour of this eleventh day of the eleventh month (11:11 am on November 11).


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Pentecost Decorations

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I made an altarscape for our church for Pentecost Sunday.

I bought a fire silk and red flameless candles and sprinkled red silk rose petals on the altar.

I create a fiery hoop to symbolize the Holy Spirit roof holes of older times.

I printed a card to explain the history and symbolism (see below).

I sewed a red ribbon banner.

I bought a red linen fabric remnant and sewed different red and gold ribbons with bells at the bottom corners.

I added a couple other fun elements.

I got red rose floating candles and a glass bowl and propped it in our baptismal to symbolize a baptism of fire.

I got a flameless candle and Tabasco sauce to symbolize “tongues of fire.”

The Projects:

Fiery Hoop

We drained the hula hoop of water and placed bolts in 4 places to attach a chain.

I wrapped the hoop with gold ribbon.

We knotted tulle strips onto the hoop.

We used several glittery reds, one orange, 2 gold, and 1 glittery yellow.

Glitter was everywhere. It’s still everywhere.

We added curling ribbon in just a few places.

Here’s our almost finished fiery hole.

I added seven cardstock doves on clear thread.

We added the yellow and orange and hung it up in the narthex of our church with a cute little windchime in the middle.

The Banner:

I bought a red linen fabric remnant and several red and gold ribbons.

I cut the ribbons into 3 feet long segments and laid it all out to get an idea.

I hemmed three sides and left an opening for the banner pole and pinned the ribbons and tassels on.

I sewed the ribbon and tassels on by hand and hemmed the sides for the pole so it was neat and tidy.

I use my hair flat iron to even out the seams.

I added some extra tassels and little bells to the corners.

The projects were expensive, always more than I originally think, but the kids and I were blessed in the making and had lots of fun together while creating these and we pray it brightens our church and someone’s Sunday.

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Celebrating Passover

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We started new traditions when we began learning about the Biblical feasts and Bible history during our Year 1 Tapestry of Grace studies. Back in 2011.

It’s become an annual tradition, along with our celebrating Hanukkah every December.

We enjoy the Seder ceremony and having a lovely lamb dinner.

Sometimes, Passover coincides with Easter and the holidays are combined, but other times, we celebrate the feasts on their designated days. The Jewish calendar is lunar while the Gregorian calendar is solar.

We added crafts and learning activities the next few years as the kids grew older and understood more.

We are not Jewish. We do our best to be very respectful of the culture and religion.

We are learning and enjoying the history of Judaism and Jesus leading up to his crucifixion and resurrection.

I really like the site Hebrew 4 Christians with their prayers and instructions for the Jewish feasts.

Our entire church celebrated a Seder one year.

Each family or group at a table decorated how they wished.

We used our best china, olive wood candlesticks from Israel, and my Lenten cross candle holder.

Some years, we go more casual and simple, and other years we try to make it a fancier occasion.

Over the years, I have purchased a Messianic Seder plate and Kiddush cup with matching candlesticks. I plan to add to our collection with a matzah tray and cover soon.

What is Passover?

Passover, or Pesach in Hebrew, is an eight-day spring holiday that celebrates the Israelites’ exodus from Egypt.

The main ritual of Passover is the seder, a planned meal held on the first evening of the holiday. The seder is designed to provoke the Four Questions from children and to provide an opportunity for telling the story of how the Israelites were redeemed from slavery and given the gift of the Torah (the first 5 books of the Bible).

A number of symbolic foods are laid out on the seder table, including karpas (parsley with salt water or vinegar – represents the hyssop used to apply blood over the door lintels), beitzah (an egg usually roasted, but we often hard boil ours), matzah (unleavened bread), the maror (bitter herb) with salt water (tears), charoset (apples with wine and honey  – a favorite! – symbolizing mortar for bricks), and the lamb shankbone, which commemorates the Paschal sacrifice that was offered in the Temple. Sometimes an orange is included to show sweet welcome to strangers.

The four cups of wine at Passover are an integral part of the Passover celebration.

These four cups of wine represent the four promises the Lord makes to His people in Exodus 6:6-7.

The Cup of Sanctification: “I will bring you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians.”

The Cup of Deliverance: “I will rescue you from their bondage.”

The Cup of Redemption: “I will redeem you with an outstretched arm.”

The Cup of Praise: “I will take you as My people.”

The ministry of Messiah speaks to each of these four promises:

Messiah sanctifies us – “And for their sakes I sanctify Myself, that they also may be sanctified by the truth” (John 17:19).

Messiah delivers us – “And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free” (John 8:32).

Messiah redeems us – “But when the fullness of the time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, that we might receive the adoption as sons” (Galatians 4:4-5).

Messiah is our joy – “These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full” (John 15:11).

The Cup of Elijah is a fifth cup of wine, left undrunk, as we open the door to invite the prophet in. Read more about this tradition here. Should we include this in a Messianic or Christian seder? Perhaps this could represent hope and the will of God on earth as it is in heaven.

Miriam’s Cup represents the strong history of women and holds water, serving as a symbol of Miriam’s Well, which was the source of water for the Israelites in the desert. Putting a Miriam’s Cup on your table is a way of making your seder more inclusive. Read more about this new tradition here.

The seder follows a script laid out in the haggadah, a book that tells the story of the Hebrews’ redemption from Egypt.

Resources:


Do you celebrate Passover?

Linking up: Blogghetti, Life of Faith,

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Blue Christmas

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I led a Blue Christmas service on Winter Solstice at my church last year.

Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted. Matthew 5:4

The Longest Night Service or Blue Christmas is held on the Winter Solstice to temper the struggle with darkness and grief faced by those living with loss, separation, or illness. The service coincides with the traditional feast day for Saint Thomas the Apostle.

Jesus said, “Come unto me all you who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

And so we invite each other to this time of peaceful worship.  Flee for a while from your tasks.  Hide yourself for a little space from the turmoil of your thoughts.  Come, cast aside your burdensome cares and put aside your laborious pursuits.  Give your time to God, and rest in God for a little while.

Much of the liturgy I borrowed from a pdf I found online from Palo Cristi Presbyterian Church. I already have ideas for next year!

It was a calm, quiet, casual service. No standing, no greeting. No wishing anyone “Merry Christmas.”

The lights were dim.

About 25 people worshiped together on the longest night of the year.

Our pastor welcomed everyone.

Her husband played guitar.

Our music director played piano.

My middle daughters were acolytes and lit the altar candles.

I began with a poem, First Coming by Madeleine L’Engle. 

He did not wait till the world was ready,
till men and nations were at peace.
He came when the Heavens were unsteady,
and prisoners cried out for release.

He did not wait for the perfect time.
He came when the need was deep and great.
He dined with sinners in all their grime,
turned water into wine. He did not wait

till hearts were pure. In joy he came
to a tarnished world of sin and doubt.
To a world like ours, of anguished shame
he came, and his Light would not go out.

He came to a world which did not mesh,
to heal its tangles, shield its scorn.
In the mystery of the Word made Flesh
the Maker of the stars was born.

We cannot wait till the world is sane
to raise our songs with joyful voice,
for to share our grief, to touch our pain,
He came with Love: Rejoice! Rejoice!

HYMN: It Came Upon a Midnight Clear 

CLAIMING A PLACE OF SAFETY

One:  This night is ours.

All:  Here we find refuge from bright lights, holiday songs, celebrations, and the expectations of everyone around us.

One:  In this safe place, we can admit our pain, our loss, our fears, and no one will judge us.

All:  No one will tell us to be happy or merry.  No one will think less of us because we cannot celebrate this season.   Above all, no one will find our tears inconvenient or inappropriate.

One:  Here, we can pour our hearts out honestly and claim our own kind of meaning from this season.

All:  Here, we are welcome even if we’re cynical, even if we’re angry, even if we scoff at the mention of hope and meaning.

One:  Tonight, we can be where we are.  We do not need to hide or pretend or feel guilty, even if our grief, our pain, our anger seems ugly to the world.

All:  We can release our need to please others and be ourselves.

One:  Let us be at peace.

All:  We are safe here.  We are accepted here.  There are no demands. 

One:  Let us be sanctuary for one another.

All:  We say to each other: Lay your burdens here.  Cast your sorrows into the circle of light.  Bask in the warmth that is life.

One:  We say to each other: There is more to life than pain.  There is more to life than sorrow.  Wait for it. Watch for it. Welcome it.

This evening we confess that we are profoundly in need of God’s mercy, so let us sing “Kyrie Eleison,” the Greek words meaning “Lord, have mercy.”

SUNG CONFESSION: Kyrie Eleison

RESPONSIVE PRAYER

One:  Signs of celebration surround us.

All:  What can we celebrate?

One:  Here.  Now.  We can only celebrate and embrace this moment.  This breath.  Even if it hurts.

All:  There is breath.  There is life.  Each new moment we breathe this air, there is hope of unexpected comfort, joy, and love.

One:  We are precious.  Every breath we take is significant and a victory.  Our being and Our lives are the greatest and most irreplaceable treasure.

All:  Even when life is filled with pain, it is a miracle worthy of awe and reverence.

One:  There is a miracle to celebrate on this dark and quiet night.  It is within us.

All:  Our eyes see the stars of the night sky.  Our lips form words of comfort and truth.  Our feet carry us where we bid them.  Our backs bear our burdens until we can put them down.   Each courageous act is a triumph.

One:  We are privileged to live out our lives surrounded by everyday wonders:

All:  Trees and their dappled shade, birds and their varied songs, blue skies and changing clouds;

One:  Thunderstorms and sea breezes, mugs of hot coffee or tea, music, afternoon naps,

All:  hot baths and hot showers, good-smelling soaps,

One:  the Milky Way, and warm smiles from strangers,

All:  And every day the pale creeping dawn signals new beginning.  Each day the commonplace is miraculous.

One:  We are not alone.  Isolation is a myth and a lie.

All:  There are thousands of people, hundreds of thousands of people, who tonight are one with us in our questions and doubts. 

One:  Some are in this room.  Some we cannot see or touch.  But the human bond is there nonetheless.

All:  Hundreds of thousands of people whose simple existence makes each of us stronger,

One:  A human community where we can comfort and serve each other.

All:  Even in the face of sorrow we can find sources of hope and reasons to rejoice we can share that hope and that joy with each other. 

One:  We can put our arms around each other in unity and understanding.

All:  We are not alone. 

GATHERING HYMN: Wait for the Lord by Taizé

SCRIPTURE READINGS

Two of our church leaders and my teen daughter read these.

Luke 14:15-24: This story offers hope for those who have no one to invite them. It reminds us that in God’s divine order, no one is excluded-all are invited.

Matthew 11:28-29: When burdens get piled on top of other burdens, the load can crush us. In his promise, Jesus offers us help to carry our burdens and responsibilities.

Revelation 7:15-17: Our present world is not how God wants things to be. Those who weep now will not weep later. In this new heaven and new earth, there will be no more need for tears.

HYMN: O Come, Emmanuel #123

CANDLELIGHTING

My four children did this part so beautifully.

We light four candles tonight. We light one for our grief, one for our courage, one for our memories, and one for our love.

Reader 1: This candle represents our grief. We own the pain of losing loved ones, of dreams that go unfulfilled, of hopes that evaporate in despair.

Reader 2: This candle represents our courage. It symbolizes the courage to confront our sorrow, to comfort each other, to share our feelings honestly and openly with each other, and to dare to hope in the midst of pain.

Reader 3: This candle represents our memories. For the times we laughed together, cried together, were angry with each other or overjoyed with each other. We light this candle for the memories of caring and joy we shared together.

Reader 4: This candle represents our love. The love we have given, and the love we have received. The love that has gone unacknowledged and unfelt, and the love that has been shared in times of joy and sorrow.

Leader: You are now invited to come forward to light one of the tealight candles which represents your burdens, griefs, sorrows, all those things that make Christmas a “blue” time for you.

Leader: We now light the Christ candle, remembering that Jesus Christ is always in the center of our lives. He hears our cries, he knows our hearts and, in the midst of all our thoughts and emotions, he offers us hope and healing.

PRAYER

Comforting God, wrap us in your presence in this time of remembrance.

With these candles, help us find your light, a light that will guide us day by day, step by step, as we try to live life fully and whole.

We cherish the special ways in which we have been touched by our loved ones.

We thank you for the gift their lives have been to us. Now comfort us, encourage us, and empower us. AMEN.

HYMN: In the Bleak Midwinter

HOMILY by Jennifer Lambert

I am a failure.

I’ve failed at so many things.

I’ve failed at school, at work, as a friend, as a wife, as a mom, in my community, as a Christian.

I imagine most people can relate to failing at some point.

During the holidays, many of us feel like a failure.

All the lights, music, decorations, events, celebrations are overwhelming.

It can make one’s mouth hurt to constantly speak with such forced merriment.

I don’t have Pinterest-worthy decorations. I get overwhelmed making homemade meals and treats all season-long. I can’t buy all the gifts for all the people on my list. It’s a comparison trap, looking over my shoulder, on social media at what others are doing, making, buying that seem better, more meaningful, more memorable.

I need more time, more energy, more money.

Or I do I need to just change my expectations?

Most failure is because of failed expectations.

Mary was a failure.

Mary was pregnant before her wedding to Joseph. In any time period, that is scandalous.

Her pregnancy was unexpected. She was an unexpected bride. She lived an unexpected life.

Did Mary feel like a failure as a wife?

She delivered her firstborn son in a stable. Suddenly, unexpectedly. Was she scared? Was she disappointed at those conditions?

She later witnessed her firstborn son ridiculed, beaten, crucified, dead, buried.

Did Mary feel like a failure as a mother?

Joseph was a failure.

Joseph wanted to quietly divorce Mary when he found out she was already pregnant and he knew he wasn’t the father. Joseph followed through after the angel commanded him to take Mary as his bride anyway.

Joseph traveled to Bethlehem with a very pregnant Mary for the census. He couldn’t find a room for her to stay in, much less to give birth in.

How uncomfortable must that journey have been? I’ve had 4 traumatic birth experiences, but in a stable?

Did Joseph panic?

Did Joseph feel ashamed?

He knowingly entered into a blended family.

Did Joseph feel like a failure as a husband and stepfather?

Jesus was a failure.

Born in a stable.

Exiled to Egypt.

Living in obscurity as a carpenter.

Rising as an unexpected leader.

Nathanael claimed: “Nothing good can come out of Nazareth.”

Jesus was supposed to rescue the Jews from the Romans. He wasn’t the king they were expecting.

The Jews rejected Jesus as the Messiah. Even though He fulfilled prophecy, Jesus’ radical teachings and ways were unexpected. He shook the bureaucracy.

Then Jesus was arrested, tortured, crucified, killed, buried.

He rose from the grave, but still they struggled to understand.

Jesus was a failure because He didn’t fulfill human expectations.

And yet He loves us because we know not what we do.

Who has seen the new Star Wars movie? No spoilers, but I love this line:

Failure is our greatest learning.

We can’t avoid failure. But what do we do with it? Do we mope and wallow in the negativity, beating ourselves up, refusing to try again?

We must learn from our failures.

When we are weak, He is strong. In our failure, He is magnified and glorified.

We must realize our potential,

practice peace,

and learn our purpose.

It’s one thing for others to see your potential. It’s quite another for you to understand and see potential in yourself.

We must have courage to fail and have peace with ourselves and others. We must forgive ourselves and others. We must learn to apologize and make amends to heal relationships with others. We have to learn to let go of hurts.

Growth is painful. We must pray to realize our purpose, even if it’s unexpected. We must stop striving to be someone else, listening to those inner voices telling us we’re not good enough. Looking ahead and planning is good, but let’s not lose sight of the blessings and opportunities right in front of us, in this moment.

Being a student is enough. Being a spouse is enough. Being a parent is enough.

You are enough.

Pray with me:

May God bless us with discomfort at half-truths, easy answers, and superficial relationships, so that we will live deeply and from the heart.

May God bless us with righteous anger at injustice, oppression, and the exploitation of people, so that we will work for justice, freedom, and peace.

May God bless us with tears to shed for those in pain, so that we will reach out our hands to them and turn their pain into joy.

And may God bless us with just enough foolishness to believe that we can make a difference in this old world, so that we will do those unexpected things that others say cannot be done.

Jesus Christ is the light of the world, the light no darkness can overcome.

Stay with us, Lord, for it is evening, and the day is almost over.

Let your light scatter the darkness and illumine your people. Amen.

LORICA OF ST. PATRICK

L:  I arise today
C:  Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity
Through belief in the threeness
Through confession of the Oneness
Towards the creator.

L:  I arise today
C:  Through God’s strength to pilot me:
God’s might to uphold me,
God’s wisdom to guide me
God’s eye to look before me,
God’s ear to hear me,
God’s word to speak for me,
God’s hand to guard me,
God’s way to lie before me,
God’s host to secure me.

L:  I arise today
C:  Through the strength of Christ with his baptism,
Through the strength of his crucifixion with his burial,
Through the strength of his resurrection with his ascension
Through the strength of his descent for the Judgment of doom.

L:  Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
C:  Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
L:  Christ on my right, Christ on my left
C:  Christ where I lie, Christ where I sit, Christ where I arise
L:  Christ in the heart of everyone who thinks of me,
C:  Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
L:  Christ in every eye that sees me,
C:  Christ in every ear that hears me.

L: Salvation is of the Lord
C: Salvation is of the Lord
L:  Salvation is of Christ
C:  May thy salvation, O Lord, be ever with us.

HYMN: Silent Night #147

BLESSING

One:  Let us face the trials of a bright season with an inner calm because we know there are deeper meanings.

All:  We have looked into the pool of suffering and we have not lost all hope.  Let that knowledge strengthen us.

One:  When we are overcome with despair, let us be glad of our improbable existence and be content to wait for the next moment and the possibility it brings for unexpected joy.

All:  For a little space of time, we have laid our burdens down.  For a little space of time, we have cast our sorrows into the circle of light.  For as long as we are able, we will bask in the warmth that is life.

One:  These candles will flutter and burn out sending the room into darkness, but our hearts contain a more powerful flame.

All:  In our hearts burns life, complex and difficult, in all its uniqueness and mystery.

One:  We carry hope into the world simply by carrying on, helping others, and living our lives as best we can.

All:  Even on the darkest nights when all we can do is curl up and weep, the ember of life is in us, burning intensely.

One:  That radiance is more brilliant than any holiday decoration; it is more enduring than any loss; it is a flame worth protecting, worth fighting for.

All:  Let us nurture that warmth and life in us. 

One:  Let us go into a cold winter night and warm its air even slightly with our breath as we go.  Let us pass from this safe place, knowing that we carry sanctuary in us. 

All:  In the coolness of the night, we will walk in peace.  In the quiet of the starlight, we will walk with hope.  In the company of all life, we will do our best to love.

One:  Go forth!  Breathe in the crisp air, feel your feet upon the earth, know you are in good company.  Nurture the ember that glows inside you, for it is robust and will give you strength.

All:  So be it.  So we will go.

Do you struggle during the holidays?


Linking up: Trekking Thru, Holiday Journey, Darling Down Diaries, LouLou Girls, Mrs AOK, Holley Gerth, Create with Joy, Blessed but Stressed, Marilyn’s Treats, Journeys in Grace, Jaime Wiebel, Jennifer Dukes Lee, Breakthrough Homeschooling, Purposeful Faith, Timeless Mama, Brenda Bradford Dottinger, Gingersnap Crafts, Raven Would. My Learning Table, Katherine’s Corner, Mommynificent, Life Beyond the Kitchen, Susan Mead, Nancy on the Homefront, The Charm of Home, Coffee With Us3, The Answer is Chocolate, Create with Joy, Momfessionals, The Blended Blog, Arabah Joy, The Quiet Homemaker, Lyli Dunbar,

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In the Middle

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What to do with that middle schooler…junior high girl…lost child… between childhood and adulthood?

Our society pushes these girls to grow up way too soon. We see the shocking scenes in the media that many in our society deem “normal.”

Young girls mimic this media and some are desensitized while others think it’s nothing to worry about.

And we still have the “boys will be boys” mentality in our western society.

There’s a double standard.

I say that it’s not normal and there’s no such thing as this Western adolescent mentality – other than the biological changes. And I’ve got an oil for that.

Why shouldn’t she still be that same sweet little girl who holds your hand while shopping and tells you her dreams before bed? Our society says that it’s acceptable and expected for tweens and teens to be belligerent and defiant. Why? It’s just another lie from the devil that divides families. And it’s starting younger and younger.

When I was a girl, we went from child to junior to adult clothing. There were no tween lines of clothing in stores encouraging girls to look older than they are. We should not have little girls wearing makeup and high heels and leather and making “come hither” looks at boys. It used to be just certain high-end clothing catalogs, but I’ve seen it recently in department store Sunday ad inserts. I’ve seen little girls in church wearing stripper clothes. It’s getting closer and closer to what everyone considers “normal.” My husband is disturbed by seeing girls when he can’t tell if they’re 12 or 25 in age. I wonder what high school and college boys think!

What will my son think?

What does Jesus think?

It’s about more than modesty.

Do we want our daughters to be sex symbols or admired for their minds, hearts, souls?

I often have to shop in the boys’ department for my daughters. They like to be comfortable and covered up. They don’t like the low waist super skinny jeans and short shorts. They don’t like leggings as pants. They like the wider longer cut of the Tshirts in the boys’ dept.

Even in the Christian world, we compromise values to fit in with the world. Society says to protect with vaccinations against STD’s and with contraceptive devices instead of discipling and educating in the Word. The devil and the world want us to think that’s it’s hopeless for anyone to wait until marriage to have sex.

And it’s not just about the act of sex. It’s about the intimacy, the tearing apart of a soul who is too young to understand what she’s doing to herself, what regrets she will have later.

God spoke to me recently through this song The Middle by Jimmy Eat World.

When I researched it, the video (while inappropriate for kids) is quite powerful about peer pressure.

So, what did God say to me?

I’m so glad you asked.

That gorgeous girl in the video with the cross necklace represents compromised Christians. These kids are lost. Their faith isn’t strong enough; their foundation is shaky; they are weak; they have no good Christian role models. They struggle with living in the world and can’t stand strong against the pressures to fit in.

…for Demas, because he loved this world, has deserted me… ~2 Timothy 4:10a

I knew girls like that when I was in school. I didn’t understand it, but I knew I wanted no part of it. Those “Sunday Christians” didn’t appeal to me, but I didn’t know why yet. They have that appearance of being Christian, but they go the way of the world.

For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? ~Matthew 16:26

God had His finger on me, but it was many years before I knew it.

Those two kids who almost compromise? They realize their potential mistake just in time and support one another. They have the victory.

I pray that our children can fight the temptations of this world and have the victory.

It begins at home with fervent prayer as parents.

I recently met a kindred spirit in an Air Force chaplain’s wife. Jean told me they have three wonderful children whom they successfully raised for the Lord. They just dropped off their youngest, a son, at his freshman dorm to begin college. They are officially empty nesters. Their daughters, aged 25 and 23, are still virgins and are engaged to be married (or so close they can taste it) to wonderful Christian young men. Praise God for that testimony as a mama!

It is possible! I pray that I have that kind of success raising my children to further the Kingdom of God.

Who do you want teaching your kids about sex?

Culture? School? Lady Gaga? Miley Cyrus? Their friends? Do you trust your church to teach them?

Or you as a parent?

I know which I choose.

Yes, it’s hard!

I choose to teach my children about relationships.

Is it time for THE TALK?

Having THE TALK.

We don’t teach PURITY.

I actively teach my young son to respect me, his sisters, and all other females. It’s not enough to wait until he’s a teen and has been influenced by so many others.

Resources for Discipling Daughters:

“Clowns to the left of me,
Jokers to the right, here I am,
Stuck in the middle with you…”

Be strong.

These are some of my favorite books about parenting girls.

Linking up: Blogghetti, Life of Faith,Our Mini Family, Squishable Baby, Timeless Mama. Modest Mom, Our Holiday Journey, Darling Downs Diaries, My Little Shop of Treasures, Home Stories A to Z, Teaching What is Good, LouLou Girls, April Harris, Live Randomly Simple, Life on Oak Hill, Inspiration for Moms, Meghan Weyerbacher, Purposeful Faith, Create with Joy, God Sized Dreams, MaryAndering Creatively, Holley Gerth, Wise Woman, Jessi’s Design, Soaring with Him, Breakthrough Homeschooling, Jaime Wiebel, Sarah Frazer, Jennifer Dukes Lee, The Pram Shed, Our Three Peas, Gingersnap Crafts, Ducks in a Row, Sincerely Paula, Imparting Grace, Crystal Storms, Debbie Kitterman, Mommynificent, Be Thee Inspired, Penny’s Passion, Katherine’s Corner, Organized 31, Life Beyond the Kitchen, Creative K Kids, Brenda Bradford Dottinger, Bountiful Love, Home Crafts by Ali, Simply Sweet Home, Life with Lorelai, Cup of Tea,RCH Reviews, Momfessionals, Blended Blog, Create with Joy, Charm of Home, Lyli Dunbar, Crystal Waddell, Counting My Blessings, Arabah Joy, Easy Peasy Pleasy, The Answer is Chocolate, Being a Wordsmith, Coffee with Us3, The Quiet Homemaker, Chic on a Shoestring, Our Mini Family,

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Praying for Success

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How do you teach motivation?

What do you do with that difficult child? The one who will have her own way. No matter what.

We learned long ago we can’t make our kids do anything they don’t desire to do.

I let it go.

I want a relationship with my children. I don’t want to be a taskmaster. I want them to think for themselves, make wise decisions…not rely on fear as a motivator.

It’s not my job to teach motivation. It’s between them and God. I can only guide.

 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:1-2

Real success is not what the world would teach us.

I’ve learned to pray – earnestly, unceasingly.

As my children grow up into tweens and teens, our relationship changes, expands…

They’re growing up and will make their own choices. I am more a counselor, a coach, as I watch them learn to fly, struggling with the wind.

They come back to rest and ask questions and learn.

Dinner conversations – after the little ones run off to play – turn to sex, drugs, the media, politics, all the evils in the world. I want them to “be wise as a serpent and innocent as a dove.”

I pray that they will be discerning, successful in their endeavors, and that they are led by God to become the woman or man He wants them to be.

And I pray their paths will be easier than mine.

Parenting a teen is hard and the world tells us it’s all but impossible.

I taught high school English and I saw too many teens fall away to the world, parents oblivious or at a loss as to what to do. I watched on the sidelines, helpless, vowing I would do differently.

I will stand firm and fight this fight. And I will win with God at my side.

I say: nothing is impossible with God.

He will redeem every hurt and heal the wounds our words and actions cause.

He is the God of reconciliation.

 Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul? For the Son of Man is going to come with his angels in the glory of his Father, and then he will repay each person according to what he has done. Truly, I say to you, there are some standing here who will not taste death until they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom.” Matthew 16:24-28

And when I pray for success, I don’t pray for the success the world teaches. I pray for Kingdom Success. I want my children to love Jesus and their neighbor. I want them to shine their light for Him. I want them to live for Him.

I don’t care if my children join the military, become an astronaut, never go to college, become a restaurant server or garbage collector, as long as they do their best and do it to the glory of God.

I don’t care if they never marry.

The pressures of the world are often too much, causing depression and anxiety. We live counter-culturally and it is so, so hard. We’re tired to explaining to deaf ears and blind eyes.

I pray for my kids to discover and learn to use their spiritual gifts, to find their purpose.

I pray my children are global, mission-minded, socially conscious, world changers, servant leaders.

I let go of my desires for them as I allow Him to guide them into who they are supposed to be.

Of course, I want them to be happy and loving and kind.

Having a child who grows up to love Jesus is real success.


Linking up: Modest Mom, Inspiration for Moms, Marilyns Treats, Create with Joy, Lori Schumacher, Holley Gerth, Blogghetti, Life of Faith, Mrs. AOK, Curly Crafty Mom, Rich Faith Rising, My Husband Has Too Many Hobbies, A Bowl Full of Lemons, Timeless Mama, Our Holiday Journey, Barbie Swihart, Trekking Thru, Home Stories A to Z, Teaching what is Good, LouLou Girls, April Harris, Sarah Frazer, Meghan Weyerbacher, Purposeful Faith, Blessed But Stressed, Godsized Dreams, MaryAndering Creatively, Mumma Scribbles, Raven Would, Wise Woman, Jessi’s Design, Southern Beauty Guide, Ducks n a Row, Oh My Heartsie Girl, Happily Ever After, Jennifer Dukes Lee, Soaring with Him, Breakthrough Homeschooling, Becoming Press, Sincerely Paula, Saving4Six, Penny’s Passion, Married by His Grace, Mississippi Mom, Blessed Transgressions, Crystal Storms, Debbie Kitterman, Mommynificent, Life Beyond the Kitchen, Creative K Kids, Brenda Bradford Dottinger, Organized 31, A Bountiful Love, Home Crafts by Ali, Life with Lorelai, Being a Wordsmith, Happy and Blessed Home, Our Mini Family,

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Empty Hands Hold Miracles

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We don’t really do a “back to school” since we “do school” year-round. It’s rather anticlimactic; there’s little to break the rhythm of lessons, meals, and constant chores. We have a lifestyle of learning and we certainly take frequent breaks when needed, like during travel or PCS, and for holidays . . . but if we take too much time off, there is boredom.

But there is also burnout.

I get tired and irritable and selfish.

I start to focus on impossibilities.

But we serve a God of possibilities.

Not having any time alone gets wearisome. I’m an INTJ and crave alone time. I start to fantasize about exotic vacations, trips to the bathroom alone even.

Just when I’m at my wits’ end, God shows up in the most unexpected places: Facebook statuses, blog posts, a sermon with a guest speaker, in my kids’ random and violent bear hugs that all but bruise my innards.

I have this amazing family around me, constantly. They’re right there in front of me, gazing expectantly with wide, long-lashed eyes.

I can *whoof* out their candles with a sharp word or thoughtless expression . . . or I can nurture those shy little flames of hope into blazing wildfires for the Kingdom.

When I start to desire to send them away – to play outside, to their rooms – do I stay selfish and go with my feelings? Or do I minister to my family, with God’s help?

And I realize my hands aren’t empty. It’s not so much that my hands are all that important. What I hold in my hands at any given moment can be miraculous if given Power. And it’s not as if the screen I bleed onto should have that much sway over my life.

The rod in Moses’ hands parted the seas. The slingshot in David’s hands destroyed the giant. The fishes and loaves in Jesus’ gentle hands multiplied and fed the multitudes with leftovers.

When I truly empty my hands . . . when I put down the iPhone or iPad, stop typing on the keyboard, quit stirring the pot, let that dirty dish sit in the sink, allow that stinky sock to go another hour or day…

God can use my hands for His glory.

Empty hands can hold miracles.

I can hold a book while they snuggle {too} near for read alouds.

I can fold my hands and pray with and for each of them.

I can hold their little hands in mine as we thank God for all the many blessings in our family circle.

I can caress that soft blonde curl behind her ear while I gently instruct a difficult math lesson.

I can wipe away the tear from the embarrassment of that mistake. Again.

I can envelop him in a big hug.

I can teach her how to knead the bread dough just so.

I can guide her fingers into the scissors to cut out the pattern.

I can lift up she who has fallen.

When I hold my children in my hands, I am touching the miraculous. I am glimpsing God.

Who knows what they will do for the Kingdom?

I can be the hands of Jesus to my children.

What’s in your hands?

It’s all about trust, control, acceptance.

If I can’t accept love, how can I offer it?

If I continue to thirst and hunger, how can I lead my little ones to the Living Water?

We have nothing to give others without giving first to Jesus. He gives through us.

He’s writing stories through us.

In the end, we’ll all become stories. We, as moms, have great and terrible influence over the stories our children write for themselves.


Linking up: Modest Mom, Barbie Swihart, Our Holiday Journey, Marilyn’s Treats, Holley Gerth, Lori Schumaker, A Fresh Start, Inspiration for Moms, Create with Joy, Blessed but Stressed, Godsized Dreams, Donna Reidland, Our Mini Family, The Mrs. Tee, Curly Crafty Mom, Blogghetti, Life of Faith, MaryAndering Creatively, Sarah Frazer, Southern Beauty Guide, Aprons & Pearls, Meghan Weyerbacher, Purposeful Faith, Teaching What is Good, April Harris, Trekking Thru, LouLou Girls, Mumma Scribbles, Live Randomly Simple, Jessi’s Design, Wise Woman, Our Three Peas, Jennifer Dukes Lee, Five Kids a Dog and a Blog, Ducks N a Row, Soaring with Him, Breakthrough Homeschooling, Becoming Press, Mississippi Mom, Messy Marriage, Classical Homemaking, Sincerely Paula, Life Beyond the Kitchen, Saving 4Six, Penny’s Passion, Simple Life of a Fire Wife, My Learning Table, Blessed Transgressions, Quietly Reminded, Debbie Kitterman, Married by His Grace, A Bountiful Love, Creative K Kids, Organized 31, Brenda Bradford Dottinger, Create with Joy, Happy and Blessed Home, Arabah Joy, Missional Women, Lyli Dunbar, Susan Mead, Crystal Waddell, Coffee with Us3, The Answer is Chocolate, Momfessionals, The Blended Blog, Katherine’s Corner, Life with Lorelai, The Charm of Home, Being a Wordsmith,

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We Stopped Going to Church

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We haven’t gone to church in a long time.

We don’t have a lot of choices for English-speaking churches in Germany.

There’s the base chapel, which is pretty vanilla since they have to cater to a broad audience and abide by military rules. There are a few charismatic churches that just don’t appeal to us. There are a few very conservative churches that are just legalistic and cliquish.

I don’t want a rock and roll, laser show kind of church and it’s unfortunate that so many rely on these churchtainment distractions to get people through the doors.

We had attended a small general Lutheran congregation for the past year or so. Service begins at 8:30 in the morning. Do you realize how hard it is to get everyone up, eat breakfast, get dressed, and out the door to drive 20+ minutes to church by 8:30 AM? We did it though. We went to bed early on Saturday nights in order to get up early for church.

We probably won’t attempt to go back to a church until July or later. We’re moving back to the States this summer and I don’t have great hopes of finding a church where we’ll fit in.

Before writing this, I researched “Why Should I Attend Church“? Many of the answers were interesting and even shocking to me. I expect the typical “Because the Bible says so” answer, but “Because you’re single and may meet someone” takes the cake.

I expect more.

I won’t lose my salvation. I still love Jesus.

I realize many will think I’m selfish for not dragging my family to church. I do feel selfish. We missed Easter.

After many years of trying to discover God in church, I’ve just had enough. I need a break. I need a break from Christians.

I can worship God – in the forest, at the beach, in a museum, while reading, while cleaning, while cooking, during meals, at the movies. I am amazed by His creation and by people’s creativity, love, and kindness.

I don’t like church.

I’m a leader. I’m a teacher. I’m a counselor. It’s hard for me to just sit back and be lectured to, read to, talked at…It’s especially hard for me to keep my mouth shut when the pastor, teacher, deacon, elder, leader, board member expresses false doctrine. It’s exhausting holding it all in because it doesn’t matter anyway.

As an introvert, I don’t like fellowship time, potlucks, events, programs, meetings, VBS, AWANA, or Wednesday night service. I shouldn’t have to apologize for my personal preferences.

I think too many churches and church leaders allow and perpetuate abuse – of women, children, people of color, others on the fringe of society and the evangelical system.

It’s very unpopular to love Jesus and not attend church.

But I think faith is a private thing between me and God. I don’t have to explain my reasons to anyone.

We stopped going to church for a variety of reasons:

New leadership. The pastor moved away to another calling. The interim pastor and his wife were less than welcoming. They are micromanagers. They are exclusionists.

Sinful behavior. My young son’s teenage Sunday school teacher was in a sexual relationship with his girlfriend and this was apparently well-known and accepted by his and her parents, the homeschool community, and other church members. I was glad when he and his family moved away so I didn’t have to confront anyone.

Sunday school. Sunday school wasn’t about Scripture or Christian living. It often took 30 minutes or more to corral people from the coffee and cookies into the three classrooms. There was no curricula. My three daughters’ teacher led inappropriate discussions about astrology and pop culture. The adult class often derailed into discussions better suited to the Discovery Channel or a New Age seminar.

I miss the organ music. I miss singing hymns. I miss the Eucharist. I miss the stained glass window behind the altar.

What we do instead of church:

Read the Bible

I read the Bible with my son and middle daughters most mornings and we have a little discussion about the passage. I write Scripture every day from monthly guides.

Evening Devotions

We read selections from Psalms, the Old Testament, and the New Testament, with writings from church fathers every evening with the Pray Now app.

Church History

We have lots of books about church history. We love biographies about missionaries, martyrs, church fathers, and other important people impacted by their faith. We usually coincide our readings to our chronological history studies.

Act Out Our Faith

We look for opportunities to act out our faith. We practice kindness, empathy, and love. We learn about our fallen world. We pray. The church isn’t a building. We are the church.

Experience Creation

We enjoy God’s creation on nature walks. We are fascinated by the creative plants, insects, and animals that God made just for our use and enjoyment.

Church should be more about discipleship and less about programs and opportunities to socialize.

We as a family came to the decision to take a break from church after many weeks of prayer. I am not encouraging anyone to leave church.

We will seek a new fellowship after we settle into our new home. I seldom enjoy church, but I want my children to have that experience growing up that I never had.

I no longer use the word Christian or evangelical. Those words just mean hate these days.

If you feel led to pray for me, be careful that you are not cursing me nor my decision in your heart. Maybe look at yourself and your church and ask why people like me don’t feel welcome. You may not agree but you should not judge what you don’t understand. You don’t know my history. You don’t know the long and difficult road it took for me. You do not not know the blood-like drops of sweat as I prayed over this difficult decision. Do not take Scripture out of context. Do not spew your hate and call it loving admonition.

If you still feel led to pray, then pray this:

Pray for church leaders that they may be more including and welcoming. That they not be vanilla and safe but speak boldly the Truth and social justice.

Pray for pastors, Sunday school teachers, elders, deacons, lay leaders, ushers, music directors, worship leaders, pastoral counselors…and whatever other titles of a church leader I may have missed. Pray that they have discernment. Pray they preach and teach Biblical Truth. Pray they are not swayed by the world. Pray they are not tempted by money, fame, media, or other people.

Pray for church fellowships to be loving, kind, welcoming, and careful with their words to newcomers and seasoned parishioners.

Pray for the parents who are raising children in this fallen world, trying desperately to navigate these tumultuous waters of postmodernism, sexual and gender revolutions, social media, integrity issues, and political scandals.

Pray for the children who are growing up in this 50 Shades of Grey kind of world, confusing sex and social media likes for Love and Truth. Pray they find godly role models to guide them to Truth and they become world-changers for His Kingdom.

Pray for the people of color and indigenous people who are excluded from white evangelical church.

You might also want to read my statement of faith post.

A Quiet Exodus: Why Black Worshipers Are Leaving White Evangelical Churches



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Spring Clean Your Heart

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With the warmer weather and sunshine, the dust seems all the more obvious gathered on the tables, windowsills, and knick-knacks scattered about.

Plenty of dust also settled in my heart this winter.

I struggled with the early sunsets and cold, dreary days. Even my happy light couldn’t help me quite shake it.

As I make natural cleaners to safely remove the dust, dirt, and grime from my floors and other surfaces, I also realize I must invest in a dust removal system for my soul.

Spring is a time of new growth and soul-growth is not to be placed on the back burner.

I revisit our Bible curricula for what works and what needs improvement. Some of the irritating behaviors in my family (and myself!) need to be addressed. I must remain diligent and beg my Father’s forgiveness for laziness this past season.

As I open the windows to let in the fresh air and sunshine and let out the stale air, I also need to air my heart’s grievances in prayer and Bible study as I do some spring cleaning for my soul.

Declutter. Renew. Revive.

Limit activities. Set goals. Personal growth.

What do you need to sweep out of your life?

 5 Ways to Spring Clean Your Heart:

1. Prioritize.

I need to focus on on better priorities. Some things have to get left behind for my sanity since I just can’t do it all.

I refuse to get caught up in the comparison trap. I really just can’t write all the posts, like all the social media, go to all the field trips, read all the books, decorate all the rooms like Pinterest, buy all the trendy clothes.

I must learn to be content within my means and protect my heart from comparison. With prayer and discussion, I can prioritize what’s best for our family. And my priority isn’t having my home look like a magazine or museum or running around constantly.

2. No cutting corners.

I must be diligent in completing a task well if I want my children to learn by my example how to follow through.

Just like I don’t want to sweep the dirt under the bed or rug, I don’t want to leave heart issues unaddressed to grow into bigger issues later. I need to be a diligent parent and coach my children consistently, in love and without nagging.

I need to be open to communication and aware of what my family needs. I need to explore the underlying causes of a behavior rather than react.

3. Relationships are most important.

I need to show my kids and husband that they are most important to me (after God, of course) – more important than my smartphone or my blogs or social media or anything else that might become an idol. Just like I want to be hospitable to guests in my home, so I rush around like a madwoman, cleaning and tidying before anyone comes over – only to apologize profusely for my house that has never been cleaner in years! I’m focusing on the wrong things – the appearances instead of the relationship. If they don’t like me because my house isn’t spotless, then that’s fine. I need to be more like Mary and less like Martha.

As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust. Psalm 103: 13-14

And sometimes, I need to let the dishes sit and the floor go unvacuumed while I take a walk with my kids to enjoy the sunshine and flowers. They will remember those experiences more than having a museum-spotless house.

4. Don’t allow dirt to collect.

I can’t get lazy and then become overwhelmed by the task at hand. Sometimes, we create bad situations ourselves with poor choices and call it “from the devil.” Of course, Satan will use all ammunition we give to him, but we must accept responsibility for our actions and the consequences of those actions. This also goes for listening to dirt about others. We should just close our ears to that rather than expressing interest or spreading any gossip. If I don’t clean the refrigerator for months, then the task will become overwhelming and take much longer and need more elbow grease than if I wipe it down and pay attention to inventory and expiration dates every week or so. This also goes for social media, mom groups, family bickering. Limit that noise. Stay positive.

5. Ask for help.

When I can’t complete something on my own, I need to turn to Jesus for help. Just like when a maintenance task at the house or yard is too much for me to complete well on my own, s0 I enlist my husband and kids for help… I need to cry to Jesus in prayer when I get overwhelmed with life.

Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. Matthew 7:7-8

Ask for godly counsel. Mentoring seems like a dying art. Do you have a trustworthy Christian mentor?

 I plan to analyze my heart as I tackle spring cleaning this year!


Linking up: Blogghetti, Life of Faith, The Mrs. Tee, Our Holiday Journey, Modest Mom, Darling Downs Diaries, Inspiration for Moms, Life on Oak Hill, MaryAndering Creatively, Create with Joy, Lori Schumaker, Holley Gerth, God Sized Dreams, Timeless Mama, Home Stories A to Z, Teaching What Is Good, LouLou Girls, April Harris, Purposeful Faith, Jaime Wiebel, Trekking Thru, Live Randomly Simple, Jessi’s Design, Wise Woman, Ducks in a Row, Our Three Peas, Raven Would, Bringing up Georgia, Soaring with Him, Breakthrough Homeschooling, Becoming Press, Mississippi Mom, Sincerely Paula, Life Beyond the Kitchen, Creative K Kids, Penny’s Passion, Katherine’s Corner, Organized 31, Imparting Grace, Crystal Storms, Mommynificent, Be Thee Inspired, Brenda Bradford Dottinger, Debbie Kitterman, A Bountiful Love, Home Crafts by Ali, Simply Sweet Home, The Charm of Home, Susan Mead, Lyli Dunbar, Crystal Waddell, Arabah Joy, Create with Joy, Coffee with Us3, Overwhelmed to Fulfilled, Easy Peasy Pleasy, Chic on a Shoestring, Anna Nuttall, The Answer is Chocolate, The Blended Blog, RCH Reviews, Momfessionals, Life with Lorelai, Being a Wordsmith,

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