Jennifer Lambert

A Sacred Balance

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How We Celebrate the New Year

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December 28, 2014 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

Our family’s tradition for New Years Eve is simple and frugal. We rarely stay up to ring in the New Year since we have four kids and are exhausted parents. Keeping the kids and ourselves up makes for a rough New Year’s Day.

We try to make New Year’s Eve special for the kids.

We like to stay in together as a family and discuss the years past – with all of the blessings, and the new year to come – all the exciting things God has planned for us.

It’s a fun day to do crafts together and reminisce and plan.

How We Celebrate New Years Eve

Food

We have fun making “snackies” – as the kids call tapas or appetizers that we lay out on TV trays for all to share.

Some of our go-to NYE party foods:

  • pigs in blankets
  • BBQ mini meatballs
  • cheese and salami platter (charcuterie)
  • various nuts
  • mini pizzas or tortilla pizzas
  • spinach artichoke dip (hot or cold)
  • veggie and fruit trays
  • sweet and spicy or mochiko chicken nuggets
  • chicken wings
  • sushi or smoked salmon
  • a variety of crackers and chips

Having a variety means everyone is happy with picking and choosing and sometimes finding a new favorite!

Mocktails

We make a yummy frothy punch out of pineapple juice, ginger ale, and sherbet. The kids sometimes like to have fizzy grape juice.

We also make our own sweet and sour mix and add that to lemon lime soda or ginger ale with fruit for a fun sangria.

Pretty glasses are a must-have to make this special.

Memories

We discuss our favorite memories from the last year. I have these fun memories cards that help prompt the kids as we remember.

We discuss our goals for the next year as a family and homeschool. The kids love this and it offers me insight into what’s important to them.

I love seeing my kids grow up and update their values each year.

Movie

We always watch a Muppet movie. I never realized it had become a tradition until my eldest daughter reminded me we had to make sure we had the new Muppets Most Wanted movie for NYE.

We don’t venture outside at night because the fireworks are scary, loud, and dangerous. They’re illegal in Germany except for a few days a year and everyone thinks they’re a pro and it can get a little rowdy. It’s safer indoors.

How do you ring in the New Year?

New Year’s Day food is important too!

Peas or lentils represent coin money.

Pork is rich in fat and represents prosperity and also progress.

Leafy greens also represent money.

I grew up eating pork roast and black eyed peas. I make pork, peas, cornbread, and greens for my family for prosperity, coins, gold, and dollars.

In Germany and German-American homes, the tradition is pork and sauerkraut. Cabbage strands represent money.

Noodles represent longevity, prosperity, and luck.

Rice represents abundance.

Whole scaly fish represent abundance. Some people used to and maybe still do stow away a few scales in their purse or wallet to ensure good fortune.

Pomegranate seeds are associated with life and fertility.

Eating 12 grapes at midnight is a fun and sometimes hilarious superstition from Spain and Latin America. It should bring luck for all 12 months of the new year.

Oranges and honey represent a sweet golden new year in Asia.

Round cakes like Bundt represent the circle of life. In Greece, orange cake Vasilopita is popular. Kransekage or wreath cake is popular in Scandinavia.

Glücksschwein or marzipan pigs are popular in Germany and Austria.

Happy New Year!

Check out my New Year Pinterest board:
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Filed Under: Family Tagged With: New Year

How We Had the Best Christmas Ever

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December 27, 2014 By Jennifer Lambert 12 Comments

This is the first year in ten years of marriage that I didn’t have a tantrum. I’m not proud of my attitude and behavior in previous years. Holidays were stressful and not full of joy at all for me.

I was determined to have a better Christmas this year.

How did we have the best Christmas ever?

How We Had the Best Christmas Ever

We changed up our focus.

I’ve been under the impression that everything had to be perfect and Hollywood magical for so long – and it’s exhausting. Of course, we study our Advent lessons about Jesus, but it really was more than that for me. That used to be just another added pressure.

I had to let go.

Simplify.

We didn’t do stockings. The kids mentioned it a couple times and I just bit my tongue and said no, not this year. I’ve always felt obligated to fill the stockings with junk and candy. We don’t have a fireplace. It was just something I had to let go.

We didn’t attend any holiday parties. The one my husband wanted to go to was smack in the middle of Tori’s end of year gymnastics class and she is more important than a plastered smile on my face and stress about how my hair looks.

Less Control.

I allowed my kids to go crazy with cookie decorating. They loved it and honestly, there was not much mess. They’re at a great age to have some freedom now. It was a pleasant time had by all.

I slacked up on school time this month. I had a few must-do’s on the list, but the rest of the time, I allowed them to play and they impressed me with their interest-led learning.

Fewer Presents.

We had intended to go on a vacation and skip the whole holiday, but that fell through and I had to scramble to purchase some things for under the tree.

I love the Something they Want, Something they Need, Something to Wear, Something to Read. I loosely followed that and it worked beautifully.

Almost everything arrived just in time for Christmas. My husband and I don’t really give each other presents and we’re ok with that. We buy what we want and need whenever throughout the year.

We didn’t make or buy presents for neighbors, coworkers, or friends. We really don’t know anyone and thankfully, we didn’t receive any from anyone so I don’t feel guilty. We sent our Christmas cards to our oil team and friends and family. I ordered presents for my husband’s niece and nephews. I sent a restaurant giftcard to my parents.

We read through Jotham’s Journey each night of the Advent season. The kids were excited each evening and reminded me it was reading time! We enjoy the candlelight service at church on Christmas Eve (except Alex, who promptly fell asleep on me).

On Christmas morning, we read the final chapters of those books first thing and sang “Go Tell it on the Mountain” – it was such a great moment to pause and worship before the present time.

In previous years, the number of presents were overwhelming and there were meltdowns from the sensory overload and stress of everything (kids and me).

This year, I got it just right.

Quality over quantity.

I love the rule of limiting presents to this:

  • Something they Want
  • Something to Wear
  • Something they Need
  • Something to Read

I like these simple wish lists and these printable wish lists to help kids focus on what’s important.

The kids were content, grateful, and occupied all day.

I wasn’t stressed and was able to enjoy the holiday. We all made dinner together. It was lovely.

Resources:

  • Watch for the Light: Readings for Advent and Christmas
  • Advent: The Once and Future Coming of Jesus Christ by Fleming Rutledge
  • Low: An Honest Advent Devotional by John Pavlovitz
  • Honest Advent: Awakening to the Wonder of God-with-Us Then, Here, and Now by Scott Erickson
  • Calm Christmas and a Happy New Year: A little book of festive joy by Beth Kempton
  • Have Yourself a Minimalist Christmas: Slow Down, Save Money & Enjoy a More Intentional Holiday by Meg Nordmann
  • Hundred Dollar Holiday: The Case For A More Joyful Christmas by Bill McKibben
  • Unplug the Christmas Machine: A Complete Guide to Putting Love and Joy Back into the Season by Jo Robinson and Jean C Staeheli

You might also like:

  • Introvert Holiday Survival Guide
  • Gift Guides for Everyone
  • Holiday Blues
  • Introvert Holiday Survival Guide
  • Celebrating Holidays During Deployment
  • Blue Christmas
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Filed Under: Frugal Tagged With: Christmas, frugal

The Benefits of Green Carpet Cleaning

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December 26, 2014 By Jennifer Lambert 2 Comments

When it comes to getting your carpet clean, there are few things more important to consider than the cleaners you use.

Green cleaners not only help to protect the environment against the potential for harmful chemical pollution, but can also cause respiratory and skin irritation for your family and pets.

The Benefits of Green Carpet Cleaning

Chemical Exposure

Traditional carpet cleaners use a bevy of chemicals to remove stains and make your carpets smell good. While they are effective in cleaning your carpets, they have also been implicated in the contribution to a number of health conditions including asthma and various allergies. They have also been shown to cause certain neurological conditions, immunosuppression and even cancer. These conditions have been seen in both humans and many pets after prolonged exposure.

Steam Cleaning

Professional carpet cleaning services often use steam cleaning as a form of green cleaning solution. When using steam, most carpet cleaning professionals don’t use chemicals at all to clean your carpets. The higher temperature and steam infusion loosens dirt and debris, allowing it to be removed manually. Steam has also been shown to be highly effective in the removal of dust mites, which are often the culprit for triggering allergic reactions.

Green Cleaning Preparations

There are also a number of green cleaning solutions that are used in conjunction with traditional hot water carpet cleaning and low flow carpet cleaning solutions. These products aid in the removal of pet stains and other stains by using naturally occurring enzymes and other certified green cleansers. Both surface cleaning solutions and pre treatment solutions are available in green cleaning preparations in order to ensure that there is no harmful chemical residue introduced into your home during the carpet cleaning process.

It is important to understand what carpet cleaning preparations are being used in your home before the technicians begin work. For example, if you are looking for Green Choice carpet cleaning Brooklyn and the company wants to use a surfactant that includes harsh chemical ingredients, it is important to know this ahead of time and find another company.

No matter what type of carpet you have, getting it cleaned regularly is the key to ensuring that your home is as clean as it looks on the surface. However, in order to ensure that you are cleaning your carpets rather than contributing to your indoor air pollution, using green carpet cleaning techniques is a must. When deciding on what carpet cleaning service to use, make sure you inquire about the company’s green carpet cleaning services.

Resources:

  • Simply Clean: The Proven Method for Keeping Your Home Organized, Clean, and Beautiful in Just 10 Minutes a Day by Becky Rapinchuk
  • How to Manage Your Home Without Losing Your Mind: Dealing with Your House’s Dirty Little Secrets by Dana K. White
  • Cleaning House: A Mom’s Twelve-Month Experiment to Rid Her Home of Youth Entitlement by Kay Wills Wyma
  • Unstuffed: Decluttering Your Home, Mind, and Soul by Ruth Soukup
  • Say Goodbye to Survival Mode: 9 Simple Strategies to Stress Less, Sleep More, and Restore Your Passion for Life by Crystal Paine
  • Love the Home You Have: Simple Ways to…Embrace Your Style *Get Organized *Delight in Where You Are by Melissa Michaels
  • CHAOS to Clean: in 31 Easy BabySteps by Marla Cilley
  • Having a Martha Home the Mary Way: 31 Days to a Clean House and a Satisfied Soul by Sarah Mae

You might also like:

  • Cleaning Laminate Flooring
  • Kitchen Pantry Makeover
  • How to Clean a House
  • Spring Clean Your Heart
  • Making a Natural Home
  • Homemade Laundry Detergent
  • Minimizing
  • Making a Natural Home
  • Teaching Kids to Cook
  • Purging Clothes
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Filed Under: Natural Living Tagged With: homemaking, natural living

Do They Know it’s Christmas?

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Please see my suggested resources.

December 23, 2014 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

How can we be a light in all the sadness?

The horror in the media lately.

Wars at home and abroad.

Parents dying suddenly, leaving babies alone in this world.

Hurting people hurting others.

Ungrateful children spew jealousy and meanness with slammed doors, shutting themselves and anger inside with all the love beating on the door, knock knock.

It’s supposed to be Christmas.

Do They Know it's Christmas

We read the blogs urging us to remember the less fortunate and make sure we remember what they need at this time of year. We shop the stores and have our credit card number saved on Amazon. We’re comfy cozy in our warm, safe homes with our candles and twinkling trees and Advent calendars and Bible devotionals.

We say grace over our sumptuous dinners and smile over our wineglasses.

While others across town have nothing to celebrate.

We seldom do anything that really matters.

It’s Christmastime; there’s no need to be afraid
At Christmastime, we let in light and we banish shade
And in our world of plenty we can spread a smile of joy
Throw your arms around the world at Christmastime
But say a prayer to pray for the other ones
At Christmastime
It’s hard, but when you’re having fun
There’s a world outside your window
And it’s a world of dread and fear
Where the only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears
And the Christmas bells that ring there
Are the clanging chimes of doom
Well tonight thank God it’s them instead of you
And there won’t be snow in Africa this Christmastime
The greatest gift they’ll get this year is life
Oh, where nothing ever grows, no rain or rivers flow
Do they know it’s Christmastime at all?
Here’s to you, raise a glass for ev’ryone
Here’s to them, underneath that burning sun
Do they know it’s Christmastime at all?
Feed the world

Do They Know It’s Christmas by Band Aid

We may do some volunteer work or donate some unwanted stuff. We may do some good, but it’s just a teeny tiny droplet in a huge ocean of hate.

It’s time our works lined up with our proclamations of faith. It’s time we were broken and got down and dirty and did something for Jesus.

Do they know it’s Christmastime at all?

So, I just burst into poignant tears as statuses scrolled through my social media feed with engagement announcements and births of healthy babies and happy news.

My heart is sore with the weight of the world.

Thank God someone is having a nice time this week.

Life goes on. How can we make it a happy one?

  • Pray.
  • Read current events with the kids. Discuss.
  • Limit physical gifts so they’re appreciated and you can maintain gratefulness.
  • Volunteer to show your kids how the other half lives. Start somewhere.
  • For every gift, donate an item to make room for it.
  • Bless others with a song or a homemade craft or goodie.
  • Donate to a worthy cause.
  • Go on a mission trip this year.
  • Visit historical and cultural sites to learn about those who are different.

Please, say a special prayer for those who are hurting in the midst of the hustle and bustle this week.

Resources:

  • Watch for the Light: Readings for Advent and Christmas
  • Advent: The Once and Future Coming of Jesus Christ by Fleming Rutledge
  • Low: An Honest Advent Devotional by John Pavlovitz
  • Honest Advent: Awakening to the Wonder of God-with-Us Then, Here, and Now by Scott Erickson
  • Calm Christmas and a Happy New Year: A little book of festive joy by Beth Kempton
  • Have Yourself a Minimalist Christmas: Slow Down, Save Money & Enjoy a More Intentional Holiday by Meg Nordmann
  • Hundred Dollar Holiday: The Case For A More Joyful Christmas by Bill McKibben
  • Unplug the Christmas Machine: A Complete Guide to Putting Love and Joy Back into the Season by Jo Robinson and Jean C Staeheli

You might also like:

  • Introvert Holiday Survival Guide
  • Gift Guides for Everyone
  • Holiday Blues
  • Introvert Holiday Survival Guide
  • Celebrating Holidays During Deployment
  • Blue Christmas
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Filed Under: Faith Tagged With: Christmas

Missing Home at Christmas

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December 22, 2014 By Jennifer Lambert 4 Comments

So, we moved to Germany in May. I prayed for a simpler life, a life back to basics.

And we’re mostly happy with the results. We’re focusing on what is important.

We’re simplifying and purging our hearts and home.

An Expat Christmas

What I don’t miss about America:

Malls.

I don’t miss any of the shopping. I am so glad I am not inundated with all the commercialism, except on social media. We have enough. We are learning to be content. We order online if we want anything that we can’t find in stores here.

Competition.

We don’t have anyone to impress. We don’t do Elf on the Shelf. We don’t host family or even friends (since we haven’t made any yet and we live in the boonies). We can create holidays and daily traditions that mean something to our family. We can focus on Christ and family and deal with issues that we have buried too long.

Rushing.

We don’t have to go anywhere, be anywhere. We have no responsibilities or events. It’s refreshing. Previous years we had loads of holiday church events, recitals, appointments. The kids actually miss it just a tiny bit, but I am a little relieved at the slower pace.

What I do sorta miss:

Lights.

Electricity is very expensive here. We used to like to drive around and look at decorations during the holidays. There’s not much of that here. The Christmas markets are really tourist targets and the weather isn’t very conducive to our walking around at night to look at Etsy vomit or Made-in-China garbage.

Mail.

It takes Amazon Prime a couple weeks for shipments to arrive to our APO. Our essential oils orders take about three weeks. Personally shipped items are arbitrary: an envelope could take a week and a box several weeks to arrive. And the base post office has weird hours for when I can retrieve parcels. Several items will probably not arrive on time due to lack of planning on my part.

Potatoes.

The taters here just aren’t the same. They’re sweet or something and not the same as Idaho potatoes. They’re great chopped and fried or roasted, but not so great baked and mashed. I never thought something like this would be missed so much.

I do enjoy seeing many festivities on social media of friends and family. It helps me to feel close to you, whether we’ve met IRL or not.

Resources:

  • Watch for the Light: Readings for Advent and Christmas
  • Advent: The Once and Future Coming of Jesus Christ by Fleming Rutledge
  • Low: An Honest Advent Devotional by John Pavlovitz
  • Honest Advent: Awakening to the Wonder of God-with-Us Then, Here, and Now by Scott Erickson
  • Calm Christmas and a Happy New Year: A little book of festive joy by Beth Kempton
  • Have Yourself a Minimalist Christmas: Slow Down, Save Money & Enjoy a More Intentional Holiday by Meg Nordmann
  • Hundred Dollar Holiday: The Case For A More Joyful Christmas by Bill McKibben
  • Unplug the Christmas Machine: A Complete Guide to Putting Love and Joy Back into the Season by Jo Robinson and Jean C Staeheli

Some other posts you might like:

  • Blue Christmas
  • Relationships Over Stuff
  • Hard Candy Christmas
  • How We Had the Best Christmas Ever
  • How to Have a Debt-Free Christmas
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Filed Under: Military Tagged With: Christmas, expat, military, TCK

Christmas Unit Study

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Please see my suggested resources.

December 19, 2014 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

We like to slow down for the holiday, but the kids still love learning.

I use this time to make learning fun.

The kids are enjoying some fun Christmas themed school time this week.

I got the reindeer idea and Very Hungry Reindeer printables here, but it doesn’t look available anymore.

Very Hungry Reindeer

Counting ornaments and matching with the correct number on the stars. I got these over at Musings of Me, but I can’t find the direct link anymore. They’re super cute!

Counting ornaments

Matching capital letters with lowercase letters in puzzles. I’m pretty sure these puzzles are from 1+1+1=1 somewhere. Alex loves the letter mazes too!

Matching Letter Puzzles

The whole family enjoys the history behind The Twelve Days of Christmas and these are fun printables for Alex.

Throw some baby Jesus clipart on a page and it’s “Christmas math”! It’s amazing how excited the girls were to do these.
ChristmasMath.jpg

I printed Christmas tree outlines and the kids used rosemary, glitter glue, stickers, and sequins to decorate those.

I was pretty impressed with the tracing the outline with glitter glue.

sensory Christmas tree craft

Then we hunted elves. We hid the cards and the littles found them. Bubba circled the numbered elves on his page as he found them. Sisters had to practice writing where they found the cards. Download Elf Hunt printables here.

elf scavenger hunt

Elf hats help.

Elf

We love fun free Christmas printable activities!

Christmas Resources:

  • DLTK
  • Kids Activities
  • 123 Homeschool 4Me
  • Homeschool Scientist
  • Crafty Classroom
  • Homeschool Creations
  • Natural Homeschool
  • Confessions of a Homeschooler
  • 1+1+1=1
  • Rock your Homeschool
  • Homeschool Share

12 Days of Christmas Printables:

  • 1+1+1=1
  • 3 Dinosaurs
  • Little Pinch of Perfect
  • Teach Beside Me
  • DLTK
  • First School
  • Preschool Mom
  • Our Adventure Story

Check out my Christmas Pinterest board:

Follow Jennifer’s board Christmas on Pinterest. Christmas Notebooking Pages (FREE)
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Filed Under: Homeschool Tagged With: Christmas, homeschool, unit study

Celebrating Hanukkah

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Please see my suggested resources.

December 16, 2014 By Jennifer Lambert 10 Comments

We began celebrating Hanukkah in 2011 when we learned about the Hebrew festivals during ancient studies in history with the Tapestry of Grace curriculum.

We love celebrating Hanukkah.

The kids loved the Jewish feasts all so much that we celebrate them every year now!

May the lights of Hanukkah usher in a better world for all humankind.

How we celebrate Hanukkah:

Celebrating Light

The first year, we had a plain silver colored menorah.

Menorah

We’ve focused our Bible studies about LIGHT this week.

There are so many Bible verses about light. We’ve read Bible lessons and sang songs and prayed about light.

I love my new “I AM” menorah. (I have the Passover cup and plate too.)

Menorah

Music

We love the Maccabeats! We listen to these guys even when it’s not a Jewish festival time. They’re just awesome.

Food

We usually have beef brisket or beef tips.

But my favorite is beef short ribs!

Latkes and Beef Short Ribs

The kids look forward to potato latkes all year long!

Latkes

Fun

We play games, complete fun printable pages, and of course, play the dreidel!

  • Hanukkah Printables from Education.com
  • ABCTeach printables
  • DLTK Kids Activities
  • Fun Party Printables from Catch My Party
  • Packs from 3 Dinosaurs

Coloring pages are always a hit!

Hanukkah Coloring Page

These cute printable Hanukkah puzzles are fun for preschoolers!

HanukkahPuzzles_thumb.jpg

My Jewish friend gave me these amazing workbooks after her kids outgrew them!

The girls like coloring pages, writing prompts, songs, and poems. They really soak up everything I teach them now. I love it!

There are some great Hanukkah decor ideas, cards, recipes, worksheets, and printable games at Education.com.

The BEST Hanukkah books

They’re the perfect age now to do the fun activities and learn about Hanukkah. They’re out of print now.

Check out the fun story and pictures:

The Story of the Maccabees

Dreidel Game

The Hebrew Nes Gadol Hayah Sham mean “A miracle happened there.” Those are the letters on the dreidel.

1. Give each person the same amount of candy, nuts, chocolate coins, or pennies.

2. Each player puts one piece in the “pot.”

3. The first player spins the dreidel and does what the dreidel says.

Gimel—take all

Hay—take half

Shin—add 1 to pot

Nun—take nothing

4. After a player gets a Gimel, everyone puts one more piece into the pot.

5. Everyone gets a turn. When you finish playing, you can eat your candy.

Presents

That first year, I gave the kids a tiny present each of the eight nights of Hanukkah. It’s always extra special when the week of Hanukkah coincides with Christmas.

Some years, we just save one present for the last night of Hanukkah. (We like to travel and celebrate Christmas too. Presents are never our focus or priority.)

One year,  we had themed presents for 8 nights!

I gave the girls nail polish and we had a nails and Doctor Who marathon after dinner (Alex got a fun activity book about Hanukkah). The kids got new pajamas and bath towels another night. One night they got stickers. One night was puzzles. I gave them Star Wars stuff one night. Another night is socks and underwear. Candy was another night. The last night is calendars.

Books

We often check out books from the library to read during the week of Hanukkah. We also have a few in our homeschool library.

  • Meet the Latkes by Alan Silberberg
  • How Do Dinosaurs Say Happy Chanukah? by Jane Yolen
  • All-of-a-Kind Family Hanukkah by Emily Jenkins
  • Maccabee!: The Story of Hanukkah by Tilda Balsley
  • Hanukkah Bear by Eric A Kimmel
  • Hershel and the Hanukkah Goblins by Eric A. Kimmel
  • Daddy Christmas and Hanukkah Mama by Selina Alko
  • The Story of Hanukkah by David A. Adler
  • Grandma’s Latkes by Malka Drucker
Print

Potato Latkes

Ingredients

  • 2 large eggs beaten
  • 3 cups grated potatoes Simply Potatoes!
  • 1/2 onion grated
  • 1 peeled carrot grated
  • 1 t garlic minced
  • 2 T fresh flat leaf parsley chopped (half if dried)
  • 2 T matzoh meal
  • 1/2 cup oil for frying
  • salt and pepper to taste

Instructions

  1. Beat the eggs and add the grated potatoes, onion, carrot, parsley, salt, pepper, and meal. Mix and let sit for about 30 minutes.

    Heat half the oil in a frying pan and drop formed potato patties into it. Repeat, adding oil as necessary.

    Fry until browned on both sides, about 3 minutes each side. 

    Serve with applesauce or sour cream.

Check out my Pinterest board for great Hanukkah fun and music and ideas:

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Filed Under: Faith Tagged With: December, faith, Hanukkah, history

Hard Candy Christmas

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Please see my suggested resources.

December 16, 2014 By Jennifer Lambert 4 Comments

Life is but a vapor.

I sit here with such a weight on my chest, reading about a father who died suddenly in his sleep the other night…and another family whose car rolled off a mountain road, killing the parents and sending the two children to ICU…and countless other families walking through chronic illness or deployment or estrangement or just being far away from loved ones.

Christmas time is bittersweet for many families.

I woke to a phone ringing from Maryland on New Year’s Day 1994.

One morning, my grandmother didn’t wake up. She was discovered by a neighbor several days later. She lived lonely alone. I hadn’t seen her for two years, since my father had a fight with her.

Christmases were always tainted with walking on eggshells around my father.

Christmas Eves were spent at my aunt’s house, surrounded by cousins, nervous whispers in corners. I never knew what was going on, who was mad at who or why.

My father chose to stay home while I was whisked out into the chill evening wearing my overpriced Christmas dress and patent leather shoes alongside my mom and paternal grandma to eat ham and potato salad and watch all the cousins open their gifts.

This was their entire holiday celebration. I still had Christmas morning to look forward to.

But there was always something negative lurking in the corners that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

For many, it is “always winter but never Christmas.”

Endless Winter

But it doesn’t have to be. And we should protect the children from the endless bitterness of cold, hard winter.

Christmas wants you: “Winter has begun to melt away, I have broken through at last – long live the true King!”

Hard Candy Christmas - Christmas time is bittersweet for many families.

Kids are often oblivious to the negativity.

Thank God they often don’t know the horrors of the world or the sorrows of adults.

Kids see the magic and glory of the lights. While we didn’t attend church and Jesus was an imaginary baby in storybook Bibles and a name at my grandma’s church.

I realize it doesn’t matter if the cookies look perfect. The presents under the tree don’t have to be all sorted perfectly (maybe that child has more this year but this child had lots last year, etc.) or wrapped with elegant mismatching paper, no seams showing. Bows are a waste of money. My haphazard decorations look like Christmas vomited all over the windowsill. I am no interior designer. Our tree never has themes – it has more handmade ornaments than designer trinkets and no twirling, swirling ribbon at all. No one will ever accuse me of having a house that looks like it’s out of a magazine (unless it’s Mad magazine.) We have no garland anywhere.

The kids don’t compare our house to others. They love the magic and will remember it as theirs.

Christmas memories will be about feelings and smells and tastes.

I want my children to remember the yummy prime rib and twice baked potatoes and not the spilled wine. I want them to remember the fuzzy pajamas and warm cocoa with Christmas stories around the twinkling Christmas tree. I don’t want the confusion of angry whispers and shots of Jack and stifled tears. No hiding behind masks. I want them to remember the snuggling while we read the Advent lessons every evening.

It’s ok that Christmas be bittersweet. It’s healthy to take the joy with the pain.

Like the song, Hard Candy Christmas:

“Lord, it’s like a hard candy Christmas
I’m barely getting through tomorrow
But still I won’t let
Sorrow bring me way down.”

It’s my job to protect my kids from the horrors of this world as long as I can, but also to prepare them to deal with the negative in a healthy way. I need to be a role model.

At the deep darkest time of the year – in cold winter (for half the world) – a Light was born in the darkness.

Let the Light shine.

Resources:

  • Watch for the Light: Readings for Advent and Christmas
  • Advent: The Once and Future Coming of Jesus Christ by Fleming Rutledge
  • Low: An Honest Advent Devotional by John Pavlovitz
  • Honest Advent: Awakening to the Wonder of God-with-Us Then, Here, and Now by Scott Erickson
  • Calm Christmas and a Happy New Year: A little book of festive joy by Beth Kempton
  • Have Yourself a Minimalist Christmas: Slow Down, Save Money & Enjoy a More Intentional Holiday by Meg Nordmann
  • Hundred Dollar Holiday: The Case For A More Joyful Christmas by Bill McKibben
  • Unplug the Christmas Machine: A Complete Guide to Putting Love and Joy Back into the Season by Jo Robinson and Jean C Staeheli

You might also like:

  • Introvert Holiday Survival Guide
  • Gift Guides for Everyone
  • Holiday Blues
  • Introvert Holiday Survival Guide
  • Celebrating Holidays During Deployment
  • Blue Christmas
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Filed Under: Family Tagged With: Christmas, mental health

From Only Child to Large Family

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Please see my suggested resources.

December 15, 2014 By Jennifer Lambert 2 Comments

I am an only child. Life is certainly focused differently in small families.

Dinners were small, quiet affairs and we always had leftovers.

Finding a table in a restaurant or a hotel room spontaneously in a busy city while traveling was no big deal.

I was often alone but I seldom felt lonely – until it was taught to me by society as I grew up.

We have four children.

Our home is noisy. There is little privacy. The dynamics are interesting.

There are SO MANY unexpected things that I never thought about growing up in a mere family of three.

I polled my friends and readers for some of the things they notice having a larger family.

Having a large family offers some challenges that small families don’t face.

From Only Child to Large Family - Having a large family offers some challenges that small families don’t face.

Budgeting

Money is a big complaint. Few people with a small family seem to understand that even having three or four kids compared to one or two is a big game changer to a budget.

We simply don’t have any extra money left over to meet friends out for a meal or the movies. We have to be more creative and frugal for gatherings and get-togethers.

“We cannot afford to make random trips to dinner or the movies. It never fails we have friends with 1 or 2 kids that always want to go places that it is expensive for a large family to go.” ~Deanna

“It takes an act of God for me and my hubby and five kids to meet you and… whoever at the… whatever.” ~DaLynn

More money is needed for so many things with a large family. More food. More medical and dental care and/or insurance. More extracurricular activities. More clothing. More utilities. More More More. There never seems to be enough no matter how creative and frugal a mom is.

“The big purchases that you don’t really think about…bigger car, bigger table, more furniture in the living room. Glasses or shoes or braces or music lessons or sports fees…you just don’t think about the cost until you are paying for 4 or 5 at a time. Extra cost of housing, utilities…just imagine the water cost of 7 people showering everyday, or the constant running of the washer and dryer.” ~Erin

“I just don’t have the funds to buy gifts for everyone [for Christmas]. I purchase for the kids in the family, but they are low-cost gifts. Budgeting as a whole is something the smaller families within my larger extended family don’t understand…” ~Heather

Sharing

Kids in large families have to share.

Bedrooms, bathrooms, clothing, food, toys.

Handmedowns are expected for the younger kids and new items are a rare treat.

Nothing ever just belongs to someone. There is no privacy and nothing is sacred or personal. Including me. I never had to share anything, growing up. And that’s hard.

There are only two sides of me on the sofa during read aloud time. I make sure everyone can see the pictures, if there are any. Usually, Alex insists on sitting beside me and one of the little girls is on the other side. Recently, we had a sibling have a jealous fit about my lap. My kids are stocky and I’m not. There is only room enough for one kid to sit on my lap at a time.  Maybe I should sell tickets.

Time is also at a premium. Most moms have to plan well and keep track of all the family activities, especially as kids grow older and develop interests that take them out of the house, often in many different directions at the same time.

“Nothing is simple. What one person does often affects nine others.” ~Kendra

Traveling

A bigger vehicle. We had to get the minivan after our third child arrived. Three carseats couldn’t fit in the backseat of our Hyandai Santa Fe.

Two or more hotel rooms when traveling. It’s often easier and cheaper to rent an apartment or house when traveling. Then we can cook “at home” and not worry about who likes what or having enough or if there are leftovers, what to do with them.

Airfare is just ridiculous and not within most large family budgets at all. I can’t imagine flying all six of us anywhere. I listen to many families discuss their travel plans with one or two lap babies or just a couple children and it’s doable for them, but never for us.

“As a military family, the cost of getting us ALL somewhere is huge. It’s cheaper to have them come visit us, than to get all of us home to visit them.” ~Heather

Waiting forever for a table big enough at restaurants (and often having that gratuity added on despite potential poor service). It’s just stressful eating out. My food is often a gelatinous cold mess by the time I get everyone situated with their food cut up and all. Meals are chaotic and loud and I get embarrassed when people stare because I automatically think they are judging our manners and volume. They may just think we’re gorgeous and smell great, but I doubt it.

“It’s hard to imagine just how accidentally loud 7 people are.” ~Erin

Entertainment

I love how Europe has family tickets that actually do accommodate our family of two adults and four children (ages 4, 7, 8, and 14 at time of post). Many American museums and amusements have membership for a family of four and then you can tack on extra tickets but then the price sky rockets! Disney will probably never be an option for us (and I’m ok with that but my husband is not).

“I’d like businesses to be more flexible with their ‘family plans’ or deals. A membership or a coupon or a package is usually ‘2 adults and 2 children.’ Uh…? I have FOUR children! I’ll gladly pay MORE for my membership because I know I have more children. But I often don’t have the option.” ~Crystal

Huge blowout birthday parties like have become the norm in America are just not feasible when you have a large family. We have three spring birthdays and it would just drain us if we spent hundreds of dollars on presents, entertainment, those amusement parks, or whatever the trend is there days. We don’t even have the luxury to have a huge home party event with extended family since we always live so far away.

And I have felt like this SO MANY TIMES:

“I feel unable to really express frustrations with many of these things because… after all… I wanted them all, I asked for it. Yet families with just two children are free to complain about how hard it is.” DaLynn

No one needs more mommy guilt.

No matter what your family size, there are bad days.

“You can buy a jet ski when you’re 60 and use it every day for the rest of your life, but you only get a few years to be with your babies…So ‘no jet ski this year’ is kind of my mantra when the mommy guilt tries to take over.” ~Erin

Be a “No Jet Ski” kinda mom.

Really love your family, no matter the size. No guilt.

Linking up: Happy and Blessed Home

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My Priority

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Please see my suggested resources.

December 11, 2014 By Jennifer Lambert 3 Comments

So, I have friends who are well into their 30s, 40s, 50s, – some with one or two kids and some without any kids and some with grown children. And others with part-time kids (they’re a stepparent).

The majority chooses to send their kids to public school. This is the expected norm. I get that. I know I swim upstream.

I don’t ask questions about lifestyle choices. I don’t pry. I don’t make snide remarks. I don’t say my way is best for you.

Why do you feel the right to make snarky comments to me because I choose to have four children? In my home. Every day. All day. Homeschooling. Working from home. Every day.

I have different priorities. My priorities have changed over the years. I’ve been refined.

I realize what’s important for me.

I’m tired of explaining that “I don’t have time” doesn’t always mean that I literally have every second of my life accounted for, but rather that “This isn’t a priority for me” or “I’m giving as much of myself as I’m able to right now.”

I’m also tired of explaining that “I don’t have the money” doesn’t always mean that I literally have every penny accounted for, but rather that “This or that isn’t a priority” or “I’m spending as much as I desire at this time.”

My Priority - I have different priorities. My priorities have changed over the years. I’ve been refined.  I realize what’s important for me.

Things I Don’t Do

No, I don’t want to find a babysitter so I can go to the coffee at 10:30 in the morning and listen to the little wifeys complain about commanders who don’t like their husbands or landlords who don’t do what they want and when and the culture differences that they don’t like since we live in Germany – or Utah – or Hawaii.

No, I don’t want to go to the girls night out when I could be at home with a healthy homemade meal and listening to my kids laugh over games or arts and crafts. My husband leaves for work before I wake and gets home at dinnertime. We like to spend a couple hours together before exhaustion overcomes us. I don’t want to miss that nightly read aloud time or Bible stories before the sweet bedtime prayers, then all the jumbles of snuggles, kisses, and hugs that almost physically hurt when four growing bodies pile on my aging, aching, sagging (squishy) one – but it fills my heart to bursting.

No, I don’t want to go shopping with you. We have all that we need and opening up my mind and heart to commercial temptation isn’t what I want to do. I don’t need retail therapy. Shopping is not entertainment for me. I have more than I need and I’m diligently working on downsizing, organizing, and simplifying. I don’t watch the sales. When I need or really want something, I buy it online or I go directly to pick that one item up (if I know it’s available locally).

No, I don’t want to join whatever club, extracurricular activity, or even church group that will further send any of us out of the house an extra night a week when we prefer to just be home together. I understand many perceive Scouts, AWANA, and other organizations are great. I don’t do scrapbooking or crafts. And I’m sure they are great for you. I just don’t want our family run ragged as we compete for participating in the most activities. We have peace. We’ve done it and the stress wasn’t worth it. We like to have meals and bedtime routines at home, together as a family.

No, I don’t want to watch your kids. Just no. I have enough responsibilities with my family – and being home all day, every day doesn’t mean I’m lonely and bored. I am working and teaching. I’m sorry you have so many engagements where your kids aren’t welcome. It should not be described as a play date either, when you need to get rid of your kid to get your nails done. I turn down many important invitations because my kids come first.

Their childhoods are short. Perhaps, there will be time for me to play on the other side. For now, my priority is discipling and developing relationships with my four children. I joyfully sacrifice for them.

I don’t want to have regrets about what I missed out on when the kids are all grown up. I want them to have good memories of Mommy being available and not running off all the time, leaving them alone or with babysitters. I want to cherish this time.

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