Jennifer Lambert

A Sacred Balance

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Putting Dreams on Hold

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Sometimes I struggle to quench my feelings and choke down envy when someone mentions buying an amazing house or follows some other beautiful dream that seems so out of reach for me.

I often look at my 40+ years and wonder what I have accomplished.

Sometimes, it’s hard being transient. It gets so lonely.

We’ve lived in so many houses, apartments, hotels, and rooms over the years that when I wake groggily in the wee hours of the morn to comfort a child or when I hear an odd night noise, I am often disoriented as my mind adjusts to the shape of the room rather than a memory of another room across the years.

We don’t waste time or money on Pinterest projects or lots of yard maintenance or prettifying a rental house. We have become minimalists.

All our memories fit into a few Rubbermaid containers.

We never know when we might leave for someplace new. Too often, we leave again before it even starts to feel like home. Sometimes, we start to feel anxious, ready to move on.

We make the best of it, right?

I’ve lived in a home with no dishwasher and 3 cabinets in the kitchen. The washer and dryer were in the dirt-floor basement. I had to walk outside and around to the backyard to get inside.

I’ve lived in a smelly, ant-traipsing apartment where I had to walk up three flights of stairs.

We’ve lived in noisy duplexes with no privacy and a parking lot across the way.

We’ve spent weeks in temporary housing during PCSes.

We lived on base once, and while convenient, it had its cons also.

We’ve rented houses sight-unseen, only to be disappointed at the online deception. But it was too late.

My parents upgraded to a 3000 sq. ft. house on a corner lot shortly after I moved away. I have no childhood home to return to with its memories. I’ve visited three times in eleven years and it doesn’t even smell quite right there. It’s amazing to me how much space they have for two people who never go anywhere.

We’ve sold and bought more vehicles than I can keep count as our family grew and transportation needs changes. Cars mean little to me other than reliability. My mother loved buying her new Chevrolet Caprice Classic every three years, then moved on into small SUVs. Still not sure why they need three cars at age 75.

We’ve attended more churches than any family ever should have to. We even stopped going for a while. It gets tiresome sometimes, trying to fit into a new place, with its cliques and families and friendships that have existed for decades.

As a military wife, I’ve often put my dreams on hold.

I left my college teaching job. I didn’t get that Ph.D. I haven’t written a book – yet.

But military life really doesn’t feel that hard to me most of the time.

I’m cool with holding down the fort during TDY, deployments, emergencies.

I’ve become a pro with organizing, packing, and unpacking.

I’ve dealt with disappointment and put on a brave face for the sake of my children.

They say home is where the military sends you.

And it’s true.

Home is everywhere.

And nowhere.

Home is where my husband is. Where my children are. Where my cats are.

The kids are beginning to ask if this is our last move. How many more? What next? My son wants to know: where will we be when he’s 10?

My eldest daughter just started college and doesn’t plan to leave Ohio. She’s longing to put down roots. I don’t blame her.

So, sure, I put some dreams on hold.

Or maybe I’ve adapted and grown up.

When I was a child

I caught a fleeting glimpse

Out of the corner of my eye

I turned to look but it was gone

I cannot put my finger on it now

The child is grown

The dream is gone

Pink Floyd

My dreams have changed since I was younger.

I’m no longer that selfish hurting girl who threw tantrums, hid in the closet when I didn’t get my way, or couldn’t handle a full day alone with two kids.

I’m no longer that overwhelmed girl who eats out multiple times a week or prepares quick foods due to a lack of planning.

I’m no longer my mother’s daughter who needs retail therapy to prove my self-worth.

I realize that a beach home might not be in our best interests with hurricanes and flooding. I never imagined living through our basement flooding on Memorial Day in Utah, while my husband was deployed. Really, Utah?

We’ve learned self-reliance since we’ve always lived far from family. It’s still really hard for me to make friends.

We realize how fortunate we have been to see so much of the world. Hawaii, Europe, places in between, and who knows what the future holds?

I’m not interested in recognition in the field of education. I will never go back to get a Ph.D. It doesn’t matter to me anymore. I am educating my children and I see the fruits of my labors there. Yes, it’s interesting to me that there are two moms on my new street who are finishing up their Ph.D.’s and it only brought a tiny twinge of regret.

I’ve learned to have different priorities.

I want to live debt-free. And not just financial freedom. We pray the Lord’s prayer every Sunday at church, but I want to live it.

Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors… Matthew 6:12

I strive for grace, forgiveness, and kindness.

I pray to fight the good fight, finish the race, keep the faith…

I am resilient, flexible, strong.

I don’t have to put my dreams on hold indefinitely. I can incorporate my dreams into the life I am living – adapting to what is best for this season and our family dynamics.

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Achievable Goals

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Everybody is making resolutions and choosing their one word for the new year.

I’m inside, trying to stay warm with temps in the single digits. Sure, the last couple years have been pretty hard-hitting.

Overall, I felt like I was pretty successful in the personal growth department.

It’s easy to get overwhelmed with resolutions that seem great now, but aren’t very achievable, then getting discouraged as it all fizzles out.

It’s important to make small goals that are actually attainable.

Instead of doing less of something, let’s discuss what we can do more.

Achievable Goals

  1. Get more sleep.

    Go to bed earlier. Turn off the electronic devices an hour before bedtime. Don’t lie in bed and use your devices (at least turn the blu light off). It helps with overall better health. I’ve been going to bed along with the kids and I feel better lately.

  2. Be adventurous.

    Go on a trip. Be more spontaneous. Try a new dish at the restaurant. Meet someone new. Call up someone you haven’t talked to in ages. Adventure means something different for everyone.

  3. Manage money wisely.

    Pay off debt, but don’t go broke doing that. Start adding a little into savings or put change in a jar. Make coffee and lunches at home instead of grabbing on the go. Start investing and planning for retirement or kids’ educations. Do you know how to budget?

  4. Minimize your closet.

    Donate what you haven’t worn in a year. Don’t keep what you don’t love. Find your style and color scheme. Update with some new classic accessories or timeless pieces. Minimizing reduces anxiety.

  5. Positive talk

    Reframe negative situations. Look for the positive details in your experiences and conversations and focus on those positive details. Also, focus on what you can do rather than what you can’t do.

  6. Use sunscreen.

    Protect your skin. Use a good natural sunscreen and cover up or go into shade during the prime sun times of the day.

  7. Purge

    Who needs more printables? Decluttering is good for the soul. Minimize your stuff. If you need containers to organize your stuff, you have too much stuff.

  8. Eating healthier

    Eat balanced and in moderation, mostly plants.
    Diets are so restrictive. Use smaller plates. Stock up on new seasonal veggies. Try new recipes every week. Drink green tea. Drink more water.

  9. Fitness

    You don’t have to waste time and money on a gym membership. Baby steps. There’s always room for improvement. Lift some small weights. Do some sit-ups. Do some pilates on the floor. Walk around the block. There are oodles of free YouTube videos to help get started with at home fitness routines.

  10. Read.

    There are so many books and so little time.
    Need some ideas?

  11. Respect

    Seriously, do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
    This goes for parenting too. Respect your kids. Have empathy. Don’t give ultimatums. Don’t use force. Don’t raise your voice or your hands.

  12. Get angry.

    There’s so much wrong in the world.
    So many -isms. All these government issues. So many hurting people. Poverty. Hatred. War.
    What are you doing to help?

What are your achievable goals?

 

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Winter Unit Study

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Winter is a fun time to learn, read winter books, and explore outdoors!

Winter Activities:

Go on a winter nature hike in the woods or at a nature center and look for animal tracks.

Go on a simple winter walk through your neighborhood and look at the transformation.

Snow painting is great art and science.

Frozen bubbles is fun science!

Measuring snow is great science and math learning.

Make birdseed balls or popcorn strands for animals.

Sledding and snowballs are fun for all ages!

Make snowball cookies for a yummy treat. Learn about ice and salt. Make a backyard igloo.

Go ice skating!

Fun toddler and preschool winter activities: Winter Theme Fun and Winter Tot School.

Study an Antarctica unit and penguins.

There are lots of fun arts and crafts for indoor fun, like painting resist snowflakes with tape or “snow paint” with shaving cream.

Winter is a great time to warm up with a tea party or hot chocolate and a fun movie or story time.

Check out my Winter Book List.

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Being proactive about health in winter is important.

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Favorite Winter Books

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Winter is a great time to curl up together with fun books.

Maybe you have lots of snow…or it’s just too cold to play outside. Or maybe you live somewhere that doesn’t experience winter?

Reading together is something we do everyday, no matter the weather!

This winter book list includes delightful books about penguins, snowmen, animals in winter, magical wintry photography, science info about snowflakes, and more!

There’s something for everyone to enjoy.

It’s winter storytime, so gather around…

Our Favorite Winter Books:

  1. Tacky the Penguin by Helen Lester
    Tacky’s perfect friends find him annoying until his odd behavior saves the day. There’s a whole series and we love them all!
  2. The Biggest Snowman Ever by Steven Kroll

    When the mayor of Mouseville announces the town snowman contest, Clayton and Desmond claim that they will each make the biggest snowman ever. But building a huge snowman alone is hard! They work and work, but their snowmen just aren’t big enough.Soon they have an idea. As the day of the contest approaches, Clayton and Desmond join forces to build the biggest snowman ever.
  3. The Biggest Best Snowman by Margery Cuyler

    Nell is told by her BIG sisters and her mother that she is too small to help out, but everyone, including Nell, feels differently after her forest friends give her the confidence to build a large snowman
  4. Sneezy the Snowman by Maureen Wright

    B-R-R-R-R! AH-CHOO! Sneezy the Snowman is cold, cold, cold. To warm up, he drinks cocoa, sits in a hot tub, stands near a warm fire–and melts! But the children know just what to do to build him up again–and make him feel “just right”. Hilarity chills the air with playful mixed-media illustrations by Stephen Gilpin as Sneezy attempts to warm himself with some silly results.
  5. Over and Under the Snow by Kate Messner

    Over the snow, the world is hushed and white. But under the snow lies a secret world of squirrels and snow hares, bears and bullfrogs, and many other animals making their winter home under the snow. This beloved nonfiction picture book exploring the subnivean zone reveals the tunnels and caves formed beneath the snow but over the ground, where many kinds of animals live through the winter, safe and warm, awake and busy, but hidden beneath the snow.
  6. Polar Bear, Polar Bear, What Do You Hear? by Bill Martin, Jr.

    What will you hear when you read this book to a preschool child?Lots of noise!Children will chant the rhythmic words. They’ll make the sounds the animals make. And they’ll pretend to be the zoo animals featured in the book– look at the last page!
  7. Winter is for Snow by Robert Neubecker

    In a rambunctious ode to everything winter, two siblings explore a snowy wonderland . . . and end up in the cozy warmth of family.
  8. Outside by Deirdre Gill

    In this gentle picture book fantasy, a child’s world transforms through his hard work, imagination, and persistence when he opens the door and steps outside, into to the brave new world of his imagination.
  9. Bear Snores On by Karma Wilson

    One by one, a whole host of different animals and birds find their way out of the cold and into Bear’s cave to warm up. But even after the tea has been brewed and the corn has been popped, Bear just snores on!
    See what happens when he finally wakes up and finds his cave full of uninvited guests — all of them having a party without him!
  10. Sadie and the Snowman by Allen Morgan

    As spring gets closer and closer, Sadie realizes that the snowmen she makes won’t last much longer
  11. Footprints in the Snow by Cynthia Benjamin

    Pictures and simple text depict forest animals’ tracks in the snow as they rush to their homes during a winter storm.
  12. Stranger in the Woods by Carl Sams

    Forest animals, awakened by the birds’ warning that there is a stranger in the woods, set out to discover if there is danger and find, instead, a wonderful surprise. There’s a whole series and they’re all gorgeous!
  13. Red Sled by Lita Judge

    In this almost wordless picture book, a host of woodland creatures take a child’s sled for a nighttime joy ride. Their whimsical ride is gorgeously depicted in bold watercolor, complemented by humorous expressions and pitch-perfect sound effects.
  14. The Twelve Days of Winter by Deborah Lee Rose

    It’s wintertime! That means it’s the season for mittens, snow, and twelve days of surprises. In this high-energy, school-loving class, the teacher introduces a new winter activity every day. Three penguins—Antarctic fun! Four weather words—brrrr! And twelve treats for tasting—YUM!As the teacher’s gifts add up—teddy bears, paper snowflakes, sugarcubes—and the days get colder, the classroom is transformed into wintery chaos. Are all the winter surprises still inside? Count along with the class to find out.
  15. Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening by Robert Frost

    There are more animals to find among the trees, and the kindly figure with his “promises to keep” exudes warmth as he stops to appreciate the quiet delights of winter. The handsome new vellum jacket will attract new and old fans as it evokes a frost-covered windowpane.
  16. The Tomten by Astrid Lundgren

    On small silent feet, the Tomten tiptoes through the snow, keeping watch over the farm on chilly winter nights. One night, a cunning fox comes by. How will the Tomten guard the chickens, and help the hungry fox? These classic stories are a delight for young children, depicting the traditional Swedish character of the house elf, or tomten.
  17. One Snowy Night by Nick Butterworth

    Percy the Park Keeper helps his animal friends in this popular story from highly-regarded, best-selling author-illustrator Nick Butterworth. Includes a fabulous fold-out poster!Percy the Park Keeper always feeds the animals in the park where he lives. But one cold winter’s night Percy discovers that his little friends need more than food and he must find a way to help them find a warm place to sleep for the night.Percy’s hut is nice and warm but Percy discovers that if you invite one animal in you’ll have to invite them all in and his hut is only small – it’s certainly going to be a squash! There’s
    whole delightful series.
  18. Now It Is Winter by Eileen Spinelli

    A young mouse is encouraged by his mother to enjoy winter while waiting for spring to come.
  19. Winter Story by Jill Barklem

    It was the middle of winter and very, very cold. The mice of Brambly Hedge forecasted snow.And they were right. In the morning they awoke to find their doors and windows hidden behind deep drifts. There hadn’t been snow like this for years. “There’s enough for a Snow Ball!” cried the mice with glee, and set to work in the time-honoured way to make an Ice Hall for the festivities. The little mice watched wide-eyed as all the preparations were made.Then at last everything was ready, and the Ball could begin…
    Seasonal books complete this lovely series!
  20. The Snowman by Raymond Briggs

    A wordless story. The pictures have “the hazy softness of air in snow. A little boy rushes out into the wintry day to build a snowman, which comes alive in his dreams that night.
  21. The Shortest Day by Wendy Pfeffer

    The beginning of winter is marked by the solstice, the shortest day of the year. Long ago, people grew afraid when each day had fewer hours of sunshine than the day before. Over time, they realized that one day each year the sun started moving toward them again. In lyrical prose and cozy illustrations, this book explains what the winter solstice is and how it has been observed by various cultures throughout history. Many contemporary holiday traditions were borrowed from ancient solstice celebrations.
  22. The Winter Solstice by Ellen Jackson

    Presents facts and folklore about the shortest day of the year, a day that has been filled with magic since ancient times.
  23. Stella, Queen of the Snow by Marie-Louise Gay

    Winter was never so magical as in this marvelous book about Stella and Sam discovering a familiar landscape transformed by a heavy snowfall. Sam makes his very first snowstorm, and, as usual, he has lots of questions: Where do snowmen sleep? Can you eat a snowflake? Do snow angels sing? Older and bolder, Stella knows all the answers, and she delights in showing Sam the many pleasures of a beautiful winter’s day
  24. Snow Sounds: An Onomatopoeic Story by David A. Johnson

    Sweep, crunch, swoosh, scrape . . . All night long, snow falls silently, bringing forth a world blanketed in white—and a very noisy day.
    For at dawn’s light, machine, man, and child begin to dig out: first the big highway grader and snow plow, then the smaller town plow, a father’s snow blower, and a boy’s shovel . . . But will the streets get cleared in time?Spare poetry and elegant watercolor paintings cleverly bring to life this unique story of snow removal and the fun onomatopoeic sounds accompanying it.
  25. Here Comes Jack Frost by Kazuno Kohara

    One cold morning a lonely boy wishes for something to do. His animal friends are hibernating, and he has nobody to play with―even all the birds have flown south. When he meets Jack Frost, the last thing he expects is to make a new friend . . . or to discover how enchanting winter can be!
  26. Tracks in the Snow by Wong Herbert Yee

    Just outside my window,
    There are tracks in the snow.
    Who made the tracks? Where do they go?A little girl follows tracks outside her window after a fresh snowfall, only to realize that the tracks in the snow are her own from the day before―and that they lead her home.
  27. The Snow Angel by Debby Boone

    Rose and her grandfather seem to be the only people left in their village who know how to dream and experience the beauty of the world, until a snow angel comes to life and creates a wondrous event.
  28. Owl Moon by Jane Yolen

    Late one winter night a little girl and her father go owling. The trees stand still as statues and the world is silent as a dream. Whoo-whoo-whoo, the father calls to the mysterious nighttime bird.But there is no answer.Wordlessly the two companions walk along, for when you go owling you don’t need words. You don’t need anything but hope. Sometimes there isn’t an owl, but sometimes there is.
  29. Animals in Winter by Henrietta Bancroft

    Have you ever seen a butterfly in the snow?Probably not. Butterflies can’t survive cold weather, so when winter comes, many butterflies fly to warmer places. They migrate. Woodchucks don’t like cold weather either but they don’t migrate; they hibernate. Woodchucks sleep in their dens all winter long. Read and find out how other animals cope with winter’s worst weather.
  30. The Snowy Day by Ezra Jack Keats

    No book has captured the magic and sense of possibility of the first snowfall better than The Snowy Day. Universal in its appeal, the story has become a favorite of millions, as it reveals a child’s wonder at a new world, and the hope of capturing and keeping that wonder forever.
    The adventures of a little boy in the city on a very snowy day.
  31. Snowflake Bentley by Jacqueline Briggs Martin

    From the time he was a small boy in Vermont, Wilson Bentley saw snowflakes as small miracles. And he determined that one day his camera would capture for others the wonder of the tiny crystal. Bentley’s enthusiasm for photographing snowflakes was often misunderstood in his time, but his patience and determination revealed two important truths: no two snowflakes are alike; and each one is startlingly beautiful. His story is gracefully told and brought to life in lovely woodcuts, giving children insight into a soul who had not only a scientist’s vision and perseverance but a clear passion for the wonders of nature.
  32. Katy and the Big Snow by Virginia Lee Burton

    Katy, a brave and untiring tractor, who pushes a bulldozer in the summer and a snowplow in the winter, makes it possible for the townspeople to do their jobs. Katy the snowplow finally gets her chance to shine when a blizzard blankets the city and everyone is relying on Katy to help dig out.
  33. Snowmen at Night by Caralyn Beuhner

    Have you ever built a snowman and discovered the next day that his grin has gotten a little crooked, or his tree-branch arms have moved? And you’ve wondered . . . what do snowmen do at night? This delightful wintertime tale reveals all!
  34. Snowmen at Play by Caralyn Beuhner

    The cool, lovable Snowmen are back in this brand-new sticker activity book, packed with fun things to make and do. Readers can help the Snowmen sit differences, make their way through mazes, create doodles, finish sticker puzzles, and much more. This bright, busy, book will spark imaginations and creativity and is perfect for holiday vacations.
  35. Snow Party by Harriet Ziefert

    If the first snow falls on the first day of winter, the snow men, snow women, and snow children come out for a special party. The festivities include food, dancing, singing, and some surprises! With breathtaking pastel illustrations and an understated,enchanting story, this is the perfect book for a snowy day . . . or to read while wishing for snow to fall.
  36. Snowman in Paradise by Michael Roberts

    We all know what happens the night before Christmas, but have you heard the story of the day after Christmas? In this imaginative book, author/artist Michael Roberts takes the traditional poem and turns it on its head…with hilarious results. Featuring a frozen snowman with a sunny disposition, a magical bluebird and a tropical vacation.
  37. Snowballs by Lois Elhert

    Pull on your mittens and head outside with Lois Ehlert for a snowball day! Grab some snow and start rolling. With a few found objects, like buttons and fabric and seeds, and a little imagination, you can create a whole family out of snow.
  38. The Mitten by Jan Brett

    When Nicki drops his white mitten in the snow, he goes on without realizing that it is missing.One by one, woodland animals find it and crawl in; first, a curious mole, then a rabbit, a badger and others, each one larger than the last. Finally, a big brown bear is followed in by a tiny brown mouse and what happens next makes for a wonderfully funny climax.As the story of the animals in the mitten unfolds, the reader can see Nicki in the borders of each page, walking through the woods unaware of what is going on.In her distinctive style, Jan Brett brings the animals to life with warmth and humor, and her illustrations are full of visual delights and details faithful to the Ukrainian tradition from which the story comes.
  39. The Snow Queen (We like the Mary Engelbreit version!)

    Mary Engelbreight’s whimsical illustrations have made her one of America’s most recognized and beloved artists. And now with over 210,000 copies in print, her beautiful retelling of Hans Christian Andersen’s The Snow Queen is the perfect marriage of an artist’s imagination with that of a storyteller.Combining Mary Engelbright’s clear bright colors and exuberant detail with the classic story about a feisty heroine who will stop at nothing, a conjuror’s twists and turns, and the triumph of love and innocence over wickedness and evil, The Snow Queen is pure enchantment, a lovely gift for children and adult Mary Engelbreight fans alike
  40. The Big Snow by Berta Hader

    The woodland animals were all getting ready for the winter. Geese flew south, rabbits and deer grew thick warm coats, and the raccoons and chipmunks lay down for a long winter nap. Come Christmastime, the wise owls were the first to see the rainbow around the moon. It was a sure sign that the big snow was on its way.
  41. White Snow, Bright Snow by Alvin Tresselt

    When the first flakes fell from the grey sky, the postman and the farmer and the policeman and his wife scurried about doing all the practical things grownups do when a snowstorm comes. But the children laughed and danced, and caught the lacy snowflakes on thier tongues.
    All the wonder and delight a child feels in a snowfall is caught in the pages of this book — the frost ferns on the window sill, the snow man in the yard and the mystery and magic of a new white world.
  42. The Story of Snow by Mark Cassino

    How do snow crystals form? What shapes can they take? Are no two snow crystals alike? These questions and more are answered in this visually stunning exploration of the science of snow. Perfect for reading on winter days, the book features photos of real snow crystals in their beautiful diversity. Snowflake-catching instructions are also included.
  43. Snow by Uri Shulevitz

    “It’s snowing, said boy with dog.
    “It’s only a snowflake,” said grandfather with beard.No one thinks one or two snowflakes will amount to anything. Not the man with the hat or the lady with the umbrella. Not even the television or the radio forecasters. But one boy and his dog have faith that the snow will amount to something spectacular, and when flakes start to swirl down on the city, they are also the only ones who know how to truly enjoy it.
  44. Snow by Cynthia Rylant

    Cynthia Rylant’s lyrical descriptions of the sights and feelings evoked by falling snow blend gorgeously with the rich and beautiful world created by Lauren Stringer’s illustrations, in which a young girl, her friend, and her grandmother enjoy the many things a snowy day has to offer.
  45. Penguin Dreams by Vivian Walsh

    Penguins don’t dream! And, they can’t fly either, but in this zany story from the bestselling author and artist team who created Olive, the Other Reindeer, anything goes!
    Before the alarm sings ding-a-ling, one special penguin finds himself flying up, up, up and away. On his journey through space and sky, he meets some wacky winged characters, then lands head first in a penguin paradise. Was it real or was it all a dream?
  46. The Jacket I Wear in the Snow by Shirley Neitzel

    Rhyme follows rhyme as layer after layer of winter clothing (“bunchy and hot, wrinkled a lot, stiff in the knee, and too big for me!”) is first put on and then taken off to the relief of the child bundled inside.
  47. Brave Irene by William Steig

    Irene Bobbin, the dressmaker’s daughter. Her mother, Mrs. Bobbin, isn’t feeling so well and can’t possibly deliver the beautiful ball gown she’s made for the duchess to wear that very evening. So plucky Irene volunteers to get the gown to the palace on time, in spite of the fierce snowstorm that’s brewing– quite an errand for a little girl.But where there’s a will, there’s a way, as Irene proves in the danger-fraught adventure that follows. She must defy the wiles of the wicked wind, her most formidable opponent, and overcome many obstacles before she completes her mission. Surely, this winning heroine will inspire every child to cheer her on.
  48. Before Morning by Joyce Sidman

    There are planes to fly and buses to catch, but a child uses the power of words, in the form of an invocation, to persuade fate to bring her family a snow day — a day slow and unhurried enough to spend at home together.In a spare text that reads as pure song and illustrations of astonishingly beautiful scratchboard art, Sidman and Krommes remind us that sometimes, if spoken from the heart, wishes really can come true.
  49. Best in Snow by April Pulley Sayre

    With gorgeous photo illustrations, award-winning author April Pulley Sayre sheds sparkly new light on the wonders of snow. From the beauty of snow blanketing the forest and falling on animals’ fur and feathers to the fascinating winter water cycle, this nonfiction picture book celebrates snowfall and the amazing science behind it.
  50. Millions of Snowflakes by Mary McKenna Siddals

    “One little snowflake falls on my nose. It makes me shiver from my head to my toes.” A little girl plays outside on a cold winter day, counting each snowflake as it falls softly to the ground. Bundled in her warmest snowsuit, she savors the snow, tasting each flake as it falls on her tongue, and makes snow angels. Simple rhyming text captures the joy of a winter afternoon while teaching basic counting skills.
  51. Counting on Snow by Maxwell Newhouse

    The premise is simple. He invites children to count with him from ten crunching caribou down to one lonely moose, by finding other northern animals – from seals to wolves to snowy owls – as they turn the pages. But as the animals appear, so does the snow, until it’s a character too, obliterating light and dark, sky and earth.
  52. Winter Dance by Marion Dane Bauer

    Snow is coming, and it’s time to get ready! The squirrel gathers nuts, the geese soar south, and the snowshoe hare puts on its new white coat. But what should the fox do? Each animal advises the fox that its own plan is best, but the fox thinks otherwise—yet it’s not until he meets a golden-eyed friend that he finds the perfect way to celebrate the snowfall.

What’s your favorite winter book?

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Blue Christmas

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I led a Longest Night Service on Winter Solstice at my church one year.

Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted. Matthew 5:4

The Longest Night Service or Blue Christmas is held on the Winter Solstice to temper the struggle with darkness and grief faced by those living with loss, separation, or illness. The service coincides with the traditional feast day for Saint Thomas the Apostle.

Jesus said, “Come unto me all you who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

And so we invite each other to this time of peaceful worship.  Flee for a while from your tasks.  Hide yourself for a little space from the turmoil of your thoughts.  Come, cast aside your burdensome cares and put aside your laborious pursuits.  Give your time to God, and rest in God for a little while.

Much of the liturgy I borrowed from a pdf I found online from Palo Cristi Presbyterian Church. I already have ideas for next year!

It was a calm, quiet, casual service. No standing, no greeting. No wishing anyone “Merry Christmas.”

The lights were dim.

About 25 people worshiped together on the longest night of the year.

Our pastor welcomed everyone.

Her husband played guitar.

Our music director played piano.

My middle daughters were acolytes and lit the altar candles.

A poem, First Coming by Madeleine L’Engle:

He did not wait till the world was ready,
till men and nations were at peace.
He came when the Heavens were unsteady,
and prisoners cried out for release.

He did not wait for the perfect time.
He came when the need was deep and great.
He dined with sinners in all their grime,
turned water into wine. He did not wait

till hearts were pure. In joy he came
to a tarnished world of sin and doubt.
To a world like ours, of anguished shame
he came, and his Light would not go out.

He came to a world which did not mesh,
to heal its tangles, shield its scorn.
In the mystery of the Word made Flesh
the Maker of the stars was born.

We cannot wait till the world is sane
to raise our songs with joyful voice,
for to share our grief, to touch our pain,
He came with Love: Rejoice! Rejoice!

HYMN: It Came Upon a Midnight Clear 

CLAIMING A PLACE OF SAFETY

One:  This night is ours.

All:  Here we find refuge from bright lights, holiday songs, celebrations, and the expectations of everyone around us.

One:  In this safe place, we can admit our pain, our loss, our fears, and no one will judge us.

All:  No one will tell us to be happy or merry.  No one will think less of us because we cannot celebrate this season.   Above all, no one will find our tears inconvenient or inappropriate.

One:  Here, we can pour our hearts out honestly and claim our own kind of meaning from this season.

All:  Here, we are welcome even if we’re cynical, even if we’re angry, even if we scoff at the mention of hope and meaning.

One:  Tonight, we can be where we are.  We do not need to hide or pretend or feel guilty, even if our grief, our pain, our anger seems ugly to the world.

All:  We can release our need to please others and be ourselves.

One:  Let us be at peace.

All:  We are safe here.  We are accepted here.  There are no demands. 

One:  Let us be sanctuary for one another.

All:  We say to each other: Lay your burdens here.  Cast your sorrows into the circle of light.  Bask in the warmth that is life.

One:  We say to each other: There is more to life than pain.  There is more to life than sorrow.  Wait for it. Watch for it. Welcome it.

This evening we confess that we are profoundly in need of God’s mercy, so let us sing “Kyrie Eleison,” the Greek words meaning “Lord, have mercy.”

SUNG CONFESSION: Kyrie Eleison

RESPONSIVE PRAYER

One:  Signs of celebration surround us.

All:  What can we celebrate?

One:  Here.  Now.  We can only celebrate and embrace this moment.  This breath.  Even if it hurts.

All:  There is breath.  There is life.  Each new moment we breathe this air, there is hope of unexpected comfort, joy, and love.

One:  We are precious.  Every breath we take is significant and a victory.  Our being and Our lives are the greatest and most irreplaceable treasure.

All:  Even when life is filled with pain, it is a miracle worthy of awe and reverence.

One:  There is a miracle to celebrate on this dark and quiet night.  It is within us.

All:  Our eyes see the stars of the night sky.  Our lips form words of comfort and truth.  Our feet carry us where we bid them.  Our backs bear our burdens until we can put them down.   Each courageous act is a triumph.

One:  We are privileged to live out our lives surrounded by everyday wonders:

All:  Trees and their dappled shade, birds and their varied songs, blue skies and changing clouds;

One:  Thunderstorms and sea breezes, mugs of hot coffee or tea, music, afternoon naps,

All:  hot baths and hot showers, good-smelling soaps,

One:  the Milky Way, and warm smiles from strangers,

All:  And every day the pale creeping dawn signals new beginning.  Each day the commonplace is miraculous.

One:  We are not alone.  Isolation is a myth and a lie.

All:  There are thousands of people, hundreds of thousands of people, who tonight are one with us in our questions and doubts. 

One:  Some are in this room.  Some we cannot see or touch.  But the human bond is there nonetheless.

All:  Hundreds of thousands of people whose simple existence makes each of us stronger,

One:  A human community where we can comfort and serve each other.

All:  Even in the face of sorrow we can find sources of hope and reasons to rejoice we can share that hope and that joy with each other. 

One:  We can put our arms around each other in unity and understanding.

All:  We are not alone. 

GATHERING HYMN: Wait for the Lord by Taizé

SCRIPTURE READINGS

Two of our church leaders and my teen daughter read these.

Luke 14:15-24: This story offers hope for those who have no one to invite them. It reminds us that in God’s divine order, no one is excluded-all are invited.

Matthew 11:28-29: When burdens get piled on top of other burdens, the load can crush us. In his promise, Jesus offers us help to carry our burdens and responsibilities.

Revelation 7:15-17: Our present world is not how God wants things to be. Those who weep now will not weep later. In this new heaven and new earth, there will be no more need for tears.

HYMN: O Come, Emmanuel #123

CANDLELIGHTING

My four children did this part so beautifully.

We light four candles tonight. We light one for our grief, one for our courage, one for our memories, and one for our love.

Reader 1: This candle represents our grief. We own the pain of losing loved ones, of dreams that go unfulfilled, of hopes that evaporate in despair.

Reader 2: This candle represents our courage. It symbolizes the courage to confront our sorrow, to comfort each other, to share our feelings honestly and openly with each other, and to dare to hope in the midst of pain.

Reader 3: This candle represents our memories. For the times we laughed together, cried together, were angry with each other or overjoyed with each other. We light this candle for the memories of caring and joy we shared together.

Reader 4: This candle represents our love. The love we have given, and the love we have received. The love that has gone unacknowledged and unfelt, and the love that has been shared in times of joy and sorrow.

Leader: You are now invited to come forward to light one of the tealight candles which represents your burdens, griefs, sorrows, all those things that make Christmas a “blue” time for you.

Leader: We now light the Christ candle, remembering that Jesus Christ is always in the center of our lives. He hears our cries, he knows our hearts and, in the midst of all our thoughts and emotions, he offers us hope and healing.

PRAYER

Comforting God, wrap us in your presence in this time of remembrance.

With these candles, help us find your light, a light that will guide us day by day, step by step, as we try to live life fully and whole.

We cherish the special ways in which we have been touched by our loved ones.

We thank you for the gift their lives have been to us. Now comfort us, encourage us, and empower us. AMEN.

HYMN: In the Bleak Midwinter

HOMILY by Jennifer Lambert

I am a failure.

I’ve failed at so many things.

I’ve failed at school, at work, as a friend, as a wife, as a mom, in my community, as a Christian.

I imagine most people can relate to failing at some point.

During the holidays, many of us feel like a failure.

All the lights, music, decorations, events, celebrations are overwhelming.

It can make one’s mouth hurt to constantly speak with such forced merriment.

I don’t have Pinterest-worthy decorations. I get overwhelmed making homemade meals and treats all season-long. I can’t buy all the gifts for all the people on my list. It’s a comparison trap, looking over my shoulder, on social media at what others are doing, making, buying that seem better, more meaningful, more memorable.

I need more time, more energy, more money.

Or I do I need to just change my expectations?

Most failure is because of failed expectations.

Mary was a failure.

Mary was pregnant before her wedding to Joseph. In any time period, that is scandalous.

Her pregnancy was unexpected. She was an unexpected bride. She lived an unexpected life.

Did Mary feel like a failure as a wife?

She delivered her firstborn son in a stable. Suddenly, unexpectedly. Was she scared? Was she disappointed at those conditions?

She later witnessed her firstborn son ridiculed, beaten, crucified, dead, buried.

Did Mary feel like a failure as a mother?

Joseph was a failure.

Joseph wanted to quietly divorce Mary when he found out she was already pregnant and he knew he wasn’t the father. Joseph followed through after the angel commanded him to take Mary as his bride anyway.

Joseph traveled to Bethlehem with a very pregnant Mary for the census. He couldn’t find a room for her to stay in, much less to give birth in.

How uncomfortable must that journey have been? I’ve had 4 traumatic birth experiences, but in a stable?

Did Joseph panic?

Did Joseph feel ashamed?

He knowingly entered into a blended family.

Did Joseph feel like a failure as a husband and stepfather?

Jesus was a failure.

Born in a stable.

Exiled to Egypt.

Living in obscurity as a carpenter.

Rising as an unexpected leader.

Nathanael claimed: “Nothing good can come out of Nazareth.”

Jesus was supposed to rescue the Jews from the Romans. He wasn’t the king they were expecting.

The Jews rejected Jesus as the Messiah. Even though He fulfilled prophecy, Jesus’ radical teachings and ways were unexpected. He shook the bureaucracy.

Then Jesus was arrested, tortured, crucified, killed, buried.

He rose from the grave, but still they struggled to understand.

Jesus was a failure because He didn’t fulfill human expectations.

And yet He loves us because we know not what we do.

Who has seen the new Star Wars movie? No spoilers, but I love this line:

Failure is our greatest learning.

We can’t avoid failure. But what do we do with it? Do we mope and wallow in the negativity, beating ourselves up, refusing to try again?

We must learn from our failures.

When we are weak, He is strong. In our failure, He is magnified and glorified.

We must realize our potential,

practice peace,

and learn our purpose.

It’s one thing for others to see your potential. It’s quite another for you to understand and see potential in yourself.

We must have courage to fail and have peace with ourselves and others. We must forgive ourselves and others. We must learn to apologize and make amends to heal relationships with others. We have to learn to let go of hurts.

Growth is painful. We must pray to realize our purpose, even if it’s unexpected. We must stop striving to be someone else, listening to those inner voices telling us we’re not good enough. Looking ahead and planning is good, but let’s not lose sight of the blessings and opportunities right in front of us, in this moment.

Being a student is enough. Being a spouse is enough. Being a parent is enough.

You are enough.

Pray with me:

May God bless us with discomfort at half-truths, easy answers, and superficial relationships, so that we will live deeply and from the heart.

May God bless us with righteous anger at injustice, oppression, and the exploitation of people, so that we will work for justice, freedom, and peace.

May God bless us with tears to shed for those in pain, so that we will reach out our hands to them and turn their pain into joy.

And may God bless us with just enough foolishness to believe that we can make a difference in this old world, so that we will do those unexpected things that others say cannot be done.

Jesus Christ is the light of the world, the light no darkness can overcome.

Stay with us, Lord, for it is evening, and the day is almost over.

Let your light scatter the darkness and illumine your people. Amen.

LORICA OF ST. PATRICK

L:  I arise today
C:  Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity
Through belief in the threeness
Through confession of the Oneness
Towards the creator.

L:  I arise today
C:  Through God’s strength to pilot me:
God’s might to uphold me,
God’s wisdom to guide me
God’s eye to look before me,
God’s ear to hear me,
God’s word to speak for me,
God’s hand to guard me,
God’s way to lie before me,
God’s host to secure me.

L:  I arise today
C:  Through the strength of Christ with his baptism,
Through the strength of his crucifixion with his burial,
Through the strength of his resurrection with his ascension
Through the strength of his descent for the Judgment of doom.

L:  Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
C:  Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
L:  Christ on my right, Christ on my left
C:  Christ where I lie, Christ where I sit, Christ where I arise
L:  Christ in the heart of everyone who thinks of me,
C:  Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
L:  Christ in every eye that sees me,
C:  Christ in every ear that hears me.

L: Salvation is of the Lord
C: Salvation is of the Lord
L:  Salvation is of Christ
C:  May thy salvation, O Lord, be ever with us.

HYMN: Silent Night #147

BLESSING

One:  Let us face the trials of a bright season with an inner calm because we know there are deeper meanings.

All:  We have looked into the pool of suffering and we have not lost all hope.  Let that knowledge strengthen us.

One:  When we are overcome with despair, let us be glad of our improbable existence and be content to wait for the next moment and the possibility it brings for unexpected joy.

All:  For a little space of time, we have laid our burdens down.  For a little space of time, we have cast our sorrows into the circle of light.  For as long as we are able, we will bask in the warmth that is life.

One:  These candles will flutter and burn out sending the room into darkness, but our hearts contain a more powerful flame.

All:  In our hearts burns life, complex and difficult, in all its uniqueness and mystery.

One:  We carry hope into the world simply by carrying on, helping others, and living our lives as best we can.

All:  Even on the darkest nights when all we can do is curl up and weep, the ember of life is in us, burning intensely.

One:  That radiance is more brilliant than any holiday decoration; it is more enduring than any loss; it is a flame worth protecting, worth fighting for.

All:  Let us nurture that warmth and life in us. 

One:  Let us go into a cold winter night and warm its air even slightly with our breath as we go.  Let us pass from this safe place, knowing that we carry sanctuary in us. 

All:  In the coolness of the night, we will walk in peace.  In the quiet of the starlight, we will walk with hope.  In the company of all life, we will do our best to love.

One:  Go forth!  Breathe in the crisp air, feel your feet upon the earth, know you are in good company.  Nurture the ember that glows inside you, for it is robust and will give you strength.

All:  So be it.  So we will go.

Do you struggle during the holidays?

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Favorite Holiday Movies

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We begin watching holiday movies around Halloween.

You know it’s not Christmas until Hans Gruber falls from Nakatomi Tower.

This list has something for everyone – kids cartoons, comedies, romance, nostalgic, endearing…and those ridiculous or action movies that just happen to take place over Christmas.

A lot of these films are in the discount bins at Walmart. Some are on Netflix or stream free or cheap on Amazon. Others, we borrow from the library. We’ve collected quite a few over the years.

50+ Best Holiday Movies:

  1. Elf

    One Christmas Eve a long time ago, a baby crawled into Santa’s bag of toys Raised as an elf. Buddy goes looking for his true place in the world–in New York City.
  2. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

    The comic misadventures of the beleaguered Griswold family continue in this latest “Vacation” outing, the third and most successful of the series.
  3. White Christmas

    Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye team up to enliven a winter resort inn. The Irving Berlin musical score sparkles with some great tunes, including the magical title track.
  4. A Christmas Story

    Ralphie wants only one thing: a Red Ryder Range 200-Shot BB gun. When he mentions it at the dinner table, his mother’s immediate reaction is that he’ll put his eye out. He then decides it’s the perfect theme for a report for his teacher, but her reaction is like his mother’s. He fantasizes about what it would be like to be Red Ryder and catch the bad guys. When the big day arrives he gets lots of presents under the tree including a lovely gift from his aunt that his mother just adores. But what about the BB gun?
  5. Home Alone

    Accidentally left behind when his parents rush off on their Christmas vacation, eight-year-old Kevin McCallister (Macaulay Culkin) embarks on a hilarious, madcap mission to defend the family home when two bumbling burglars (Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern) try to break in and find themselves tangled in Kevin s bewildering battery of booby traps!
  6. The Nativity Story

    In a story of profound faith one young woman struggles with the destiny as she is chosen to give birth to the Son of God and to become the object of salvation for billions of souls.
  7. The Star of Bethlehem
    From Producer Stephen McEveety comes an amazing documentary on the Star of Bethlehem. This presentation, has rapidly grown in popularity around the world by thousands who have seen this dramatic revelation as it explores the exciting truth of scripture and reveals the evidence for God’s existence as seen in the stars above. Presenter Rick Larson walks you through Biblical and historical clues revealing the incredible significance of this celestial event as well as the vastness of God’s creativity. Features: Produced by Stephen McEveety, Dramatic presentation on the significance of Bethlehem’s Star and its connection to the life of Christ.
  8. The Star
    Bo, a brave donkey, and all his new hilarious animal friends go on the adventure of their dreams filled with lots of laughter.
  9. The Nightmare Before Christmas

    Jack Skellington, king of Halloween Town, discovers Christmas Town, but his attempts to bring Christmas to his home cause confusion.
  10. Ernest Saves Christmas

    High-flying reindeer! Mischievous elves! Warp-speed sleigh rides! Get set for a magical dose of holiday cheer, zany season’s greetings, and spell-binding special effects in this fast-paced, heartwarming comedy hit! When Santa Claus decides to retire and pass on his magic bag of Christmas surprises to a new St. Nick, he enlists the aid of a hilarious assortment of characters, including that lovable know-it-all Ernest P. Worrell (Emmy Award-winning comedian Jim Varney)! Along the way, Santa and Ernest help a cynical teen experience the season’s spirit like never before. And that’s where the fun — and magic — begin!
  11. Gremlins

    A small town is besieged by some furry and not-so-cute little creatures after a young man ignores the warnings of a wise elder regarding their care and feeding.
  12. Planes, Trains, and Automobiles

    Steve Martin and John Candy star in John Hughes’ classic tale of holiday travel gone awry. Neal Page (Martin) is an uptight advertising executive trying to get home to Chicago for Thanksgiving. When his flight is rerouted to Wichita, he reluctantly partners with Del Griffith (Candy), a n obnoxious yet lovable salesman. Together, they embark on a cross-country adventure that includes various m odes of transportation, hilarious mishaps, and unforgettable rental car shenanigans
  13. Mixed Nuts

    Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, the only creatures stirring were a transvestite, a homicidal Santa, a serial killer, the staff of a suicide hotline and a very crazy pregnant woman.
  14. Trading Places
    The fun begins when the rich and greedy Duke Brothers wager a bet over whether born loser Valentine could become as successful as the priggish Winthorpe if circumstances were reversed.
  15. The Family Man

    Jack Campbell (Academy Award winner Nicolas Cage) is a single, wealthy Wall Street trader living the high life in New York City. All that magically changes one winter morning when he wakes up in suburban New Jersey next to Kate (Tea Leoni), the girlfriend he left 13 years ago. He’s now got two kids, he’s traded in his Ferrari for a minivan all while trying not to lose his mind. Find out what it takes for a single-minded businessman to become The Family Man in this heartwarming holiday comedy about second thoughts and second chances.
  16. Charlie Brown Christmas

    Christmastime is here. Happiness and cheer. And for Peanuts fans everywhere, it just wouldn’t be Christmas without this classic holiday delight. Christmas lights may be twinkling red and green, but Charlie Brown has the Yuletide blues. To get in the holiday spirit, he takes Lucy’s advice and directs the Christmas play. And what’s a Christmas play without a Christmas tree? But everyone makes fun of the short, spindly nevergreen Charlie Brown brings back – until the real meaning of Christmas works its magic once again
  17. Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

    Every who down in Who-ville likes Christmas a lot, but the Grinch who lived just north of Who-ville did NOT! So the cuddly as a cactus Grinch (with termites in his smile and garlic in his soul) tries to wipe out Christmas for the cheerful Who-villains, only to discover: maybe Christmas, he thought doesn’t come from as store. Maybe Christmas perhaps means a little bit more! Magnificently narrated by Boris Karloff and animated by cartoon legend Chuck Jones, it’s an award-winning Who-roast-beast-feast of a holiday classic!
  18. Joyeux Noël

    JOYEUX NOEL (Merry Christmas) tells the true-life story of the spontaneous Christmas Eve truce declared by Scottish, French and German troops in the trenches of World War I. Enemies leave their weapons behind for one night as they band together in brotherhood and forget about the brutalities of war.
  19. A Midnight Clear

    This WW2 psychological drama plays out at Christmas. US GIs hold an isolated cabin in the Ardennes against a handful of Germans cut off from their main force. Combat-weary and short of rations, both sides are determined to survive.
  20. The Muppet Christmas Carol

    Greetings, holiday movie fans and culture lovers, I am the Great Gonzo…or, as I am better known to fans of this classic motion picture – literary legend Charles Dickens. Ready to laugh, cry, sing, frolic, cavort and enjoy yourself beyond belief!? Well, you’re in luck, because this 20th Anniversary Edition of Disney’s THE MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL is guaranteed to put you in a holiday spirit that will stay with you forever – or at least until your Aunt Ruth starts complaining that nobody is eating the fruitcake she brought…again! The incredible spectacle of Kermit the Frog as Bob Cratchit, Miss Piggy as Emily Cratchit, Michael Caine as Scrooge, wonderful songs by Paul Williams, and, of course, my pal Rizzo the Rat as…well, Rizzo the Rat. A heartwarming and hilarious holiday classic, told as never before! Yule love it! Happy Holidays!
  21. A Muppet Family Christmas

    You’re invited to a zany holiday celebration, as Fozzie Bear and all of his showbiz pals head for the country to spend Christmas at Fozzie’s Mom’s farmhouse! With snow falling outside and more friends dropping by carolers from Sesame Street and visitors from Fraggle Rock something magical happens! The sparkle of the stage lights up the farmhouse as the Muppets share their gifts of music, a play, and of course Fozzie’s stand-up comedy act! When Miss Piggy arrives through sleet and snow to catch Kermit under the mistletoe the cast is complete for a warm and wonderful MUPPET FAMILY CHRISTMAS.
  22. It’s a Very Merry Muppet Christmas

    Join Kermit the Frog, Fozzie Bear, Gonzo, Miss Piggy and the entire Muppet gang in It’s a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie! ‘Tis the night before Christmas and the Muppet Theater is in danger of being torn down. When bad goes to worse, Kermit begins to believe that the world would be a better place if he had never been born. With heavenly help and hilarious send-ups of just about every holiday movie ever made, Kermit and the Muppets discover what matters most is their love for each other. Featuring a celebrity cast including David Arquette, Joan Cusack and Whoopi Goldberg plus show-stopping musical numbers like ‘Moulin Scrooge!’, this heartwarming holiday classic will bring joy to the world every Christmas season!
  23. Mickey’s Once Upon a Christmas

    Disney’s biggest stars shine in a magical, heartwarming movie sure to become a holiday classic! Mickey, Minnie, and their famous friends Goofy, Donald, Daisy, and Pluto gather to reminisce about love, magic, and surprises in three wonder-filled stories of Christmas past. In the fine tradition of Disney’s superb storytelling, Minnie and Mickey recall the year they both gave up what was most important to them for the sake of the other, making for one unforgettable Christmas. Goofy and Max retell when they experienced a series of hilarious but season-shaking events … until a visit from the real Santa made it a most magical holiday. Thinking back to when they wished Christmas was every day, Donald’s nephews Huey, Dewey, and Louie remember their dream turning into a comical catastrophe, eventually teaching them what true holiday spirit is all about. Featuring the entire cast in a finale of merry, magical Christmas songs — all the excitement of MICKEY’S ONCE UPON A CHRISTMAS is ready to unwrap for holiday family fun!
  24. Rise of the Guardians

    An epic adventure of a group of heroes with extraordinary abilities. When an evil spirit, Pitch, tries to take over the world, the immortal Guardians must join forces to protect the hopes, beliefs and the imagination of children all over.
  25. Alvin and the Chipmunks

    When down-on-his luck musician Dave Seville discovers singing trio Alvin and the Chipmunks, he seizes the opportunity to put together his songwriting skills with the ‘Munks unique talents.
  26. Babes in Toyland

    A little girl from Cincinnati is suddenly catapulted into a dream world, a fantasy town called Toyland. Populated by life-size teddy bears and puppets, Toyland seems to be a happy, cheerful community. But villainous Barnaby is scheming to turn Toyland into a nightmare and when the little girl finds out she tries to stop him.
  27. The Nutcracker

    The New York City ballet performs the Tchaikovsky-Petipa fairy tale of a girl and her doll-turned-prince.
  28. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, The Little Drummer Boy, The Miser Brothers, Frosty the Snowman…all those classics!
    The perfect way to get the Christmas season started. 4-disc gift set includes Rankin and Bass’s most beloved Christmas specials plus the Dr. Seuss Holiday classic. DISC 1: DR. SEUSS’ HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS! From animation legend Chuck Jones comes one of the best holiday cartoons of all time, adapting the Dr. Seuss story and starring Boris Karloff as the voice of you-know-Who. Also Includes: THE LEPRECHAUNS’ CHRISTMAS GOLD, PINOCCHIO’S CHRISTMAS, and THE STINGIEST MAN IN TOWN DISC 2: THE YEAR WITHOUT A SANTA CLAUS DELUXE EDITION When Santa decides to retire one Christmas, Mrs. Claus takes action. Baby New Year is missing – and a certain red-nosed reindeer leads the search. And a kind-hearted burro, mocked for his ears, takes a special journey to Bethlehem. Also Includes: RUDOLPH’S SHINY NEW YEAR and NESTOR THE LONG-EARED CHRISTMAS DONKEY DISC 3: FROSTY’S WINTER WONDERLAND Frosty’s The Snowman’s marriage is threatened by jealous Jack Frost. ‘TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS Clement Moore’s classic poem comes to charming new life. DISC 4: RUDOLPH AND FROSTY’S CHRISTMAS IN JULY The feature-length delight about what happens when a certain reindeer’s nose stops shining!
  29. Arthur Christmas

    How CAN Santa deliver billions of presents to the whole world in just one night? With an army of one million combat-style Field Elves and a vast, state-of-the-art control center under the ice of the North Pole! So how could this incredible operation have MISSED one child?! To Santa’s young son, Arthur, it threatens to end the magic of Christmas. With retired Grandsanta, a rebellious young elf, an old sleigh and some untrained reindeer, Arthur sets out in a crazy mission to deliver the last present!
  30. Saving Santa

    A lowly stable elf (Martin Freeman) must travel back in time to save Santa’s Kingdom from the evil Neville Baddington (Tim Curry).
  31. Prep & Landing

    On Christmas Eve, a high-tech team of elves from an elite unit known as “Prep & Landing” ensures homes around the world are prepared for Santa’s visit. But when two hilarious little elves face unexpected challenges and are pushed to their limits, it’ll take a great big effort to save the season. Enjoy a heartwarming holiday classic sure to make everyone’s Christmas list! BONUS: The outrageous yuletide adventures of Christmas elves Lanny and Wayne continue in this totally tinsel adventure that reminds us there’s room for everyone on the “nice” list. Santa’s stealthiest little elves must race to recover classified North Pole technology, which has fallen into the hands of a computer-hacking naughty kid, in order to stop Christmas from descending into chaos. Bring the family together for a comical adventure that puts the Ho, Ho, Ho in your holidays!
  32. The Santa Clause

    A bizarre twist of fate transforms a divorced dad into the new Santa.
  33. The Polar Express

    The Polar Express is the story of a young boy who on Christmas Eve boards a powerful magical train headed to the North Pole and Santa Claus’s home. What unfolds is a journey of self-discovery, which shows the boy that the wonder of life never fades for those who believe.
  34. Jack Frost

    Michael Keaton stars in this fantasy adventure about a man who becomes a real father to his son after returning to life. A year after his father’s death on Christmas Day, a young boy builds a snowman and dresses it with his father’s hat, scarf and gloves. That night, the boy’s wish comes true: His father returns to life–as the snowman.
  35. Jingle All the Way

    Arnold Schwarzenegger returns in a new holiday comedy as a father determined to buy his son that “must have” Christmas toy during a frantic shopping spree on Christmas Eve.
  36. Prancer

    A wounded reindeer and a precocious eight-year-old girl form an everlasting bond in this tender holiday drama about true devotion and friendship.
  37. Scrooged or any version of The Christmas Carol

    A cynically selfish TV executive gets haunted by three spirits bearing lessons on Christmas Eve.
  38. Home for the Holidays

    Claudia Larson is heading home for yet another chaotic and exasperating family Thanksgiving. But a new visitor offers some interesting possibilities. If they can duck the flying turkeys, this romance may just have a chance.
  39. Four Christmases

    One happy couple; four dysfunctional, divorced parents who all insist on celebrating with their kids; a single, well-planned, happy day quickly spins out of control in to the madcap whirlwind of Four Christmases.
  40. Christmas with the Kranks

    When their only daughter Blair leaves the family nest, Luther and Nora Krank decide to book an island cruise to beat the yuletide blues and just skip the holidays. But their decision to boycott tradition has the whole neighborhood in an uproar, and when Blair calls on Christmas Eve to announce a surprise visit with her new fiancé, the Kranks have just twelve hours to perform a miracle and pull themselves and their neighbors together to throw the best celebration ever!
  41. Love Actually

    Funny, charming and heartwarming, this delightful romantic comedy follows eight couples whose lives intersect shortly before Christmas.
  42. Bad Santa

    The baddest Santa ever comes to town with the hilarious Billy Bob Thornton, Bernie Mac, and John Ritter! Ill-mannered store Santa Willie Stokes is really a safecracker with a holiday tradition of making one big score every Christmas Eve with his clever Elf-partner-in- crime Marcus. But this year’s heist-fest could be completely foiled by a snoopy store manager, savvy mall detective, sexy Santa fan, and an innocent 8 year old misfit who thinks the intoxicated and felonious Willie is the real Santa he seeks.
  43. The Ref

    Denis Leary plays an unfortunate cat burglar, who is abandonded by his partner in the middle of a heist and is forced to take an irritating Connecticut couple (Kevin Spacey and Judy Davis) hostage. He soon finds that he got more than he bargained for when the couple’s blackmailing son and despicable in-laws step into the picture. Before long they’re driving him nuts with their petty bickering and family problems. The only way for him to survive is to be their referee and resolve their differences before he can be nabbed by the police.
  44. The Royal Tenenbaums

    Royal Tenenbaum (Gene Hackman) and his wife, Etheline (Anjelica Huston), had three children — Chas, Margot, and Richie — and then they separated. Chas (Ben Stiller) started buying real estate in his early teens and seemed to have an almost preternatural understanding of international finance. Margot (Gwyneth Paltrow) was a playwright and received a Braverman Grant of $50,000 in the ninth grade. Richie (Luke Wilson) was a junior champion tennis player and won the U.S. Nationals three years in a row. Virtually all memory of the brilliance of the young Tenenbaums was subsequently erased by two decades of betrayal, failure, and disaster.
  45. The Holiday
    In Nancy Meyers’ The Holiday, a romantic comedy from the director of Something’s Gotta Give and What Women Want, two women trade homes only to find that a change of address can change their lives. Iris is in love with a man who is about to marry another woman. Across the globe, Amanda, realizes the man she lives with has been unfaithful. Two women who have never met and live 6000 miles apart, find themselves in the exact same place. They meet online at a home exchange website and impulsively switch homes for the holiday. Iris moves into Amanda’s L.A. house in sunny California as Amanda arrives in the snow covered English countryside. Shortly after arriving at their destinations, both women find the last thing either wants or expects: a new romance. Amanda is charmed by Iris’ handsome brother Graham and Iris, with inspiration provided by legendary screenwriter Arthur, mends her heart when she meets film composer Miles.
  46. While You Were Sleeping

    The hit romantic comedy that woke everyone up to adorable Sandra Bullock. As Lucy, a lonely subway worker, she becomes smitten with a handsome stranger. But when she saves his life after he’s been mugged and fallen into a coma, his hilariously offbeat family mistakes her for his fiancee! Soon, the mix-ups escalate as Lucy fabricates a life between herself and a man she’s never met! And when Lucy falls for his charming brother the situation really gets uproarious as she’s forced to make a choice between the two!
  47. Serendipity

    Irresistible stars John Cusack and Kate Bekinsale are drawn together and take a chance on love in the critically acclaimed romantic comedy! In the course of one magical evening, Jonathan and Sara meet unexpectedly…then part without expectation when she decides they must let fate determine if they are meant to be together. Years later, they are both engaged to others but cannot give up the dream that- despite time, distance and the obstacles that conspire to keep them apart, they will one day meet again! Also starring Jeremy Piven and Molly Shannon, in a stellar supporting cast- you’re destined to agree with audiences everywhere who fell for the surprising charms of this delightful big screen romance!
  48. The Family Stone

    The Stones, a New England family, have their annual holiday gathering. The eldest son brings his girlfriend home to meet his parents, brothers and sisters. The bohemian Stones greet their visitor – a high-powered, controlling New Yorker – with a mix of awkwardness, confusion and hostility. Before the holiday is over, relationships will unravel while new ones are formed, secrets will be revealed, and the family Stone will come together through its extraordinary capacity for love.
  49. About a Boy

    Based on Nick Hornby’s best-selling novel, About A Boy is the story of a cynical, immature young man who is taught how to act like a grown-up by a little boy.
  50. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

    Based on the wildly popular J.K. Rowling’s book about a young boy who on his eleventh birthday discovers, he is the orphaned boy of two powerful wizards and has unique magical powers.
  51. Little Women

    With her husband off at war, Marmee is left alone to raise their four daughters, her Little Women. There is the spirited Jo; conservative Meg; fragile Beth; and romantic Amy. As the years pass, the sisters share some of the most cherished and painful memories of self-discovery, as Marmee and Aunt March guide them through issues of independence, romance, and virtue.
  52. Grumpy Old Men

    Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau reunite in this romantic comedy that examines the decades-old love-hate relationship between two neighbors.
  53. Better Off Dead

    After his girlfriend ditches him for a boorish ski jock, Lane decides that suicide is the only answer. However, his increasingly inept attempts bring him only more agony and embarrassment. Filled with the wildest teen nightmares, a family you can’t help but identify with and a host of wonderful comic characters.
  54. Edward Scissorhands

    An uncommonly gentle young man, who happens to have scissors for hands, falls in love with a beautiful teenage girl.
  55. Batman Returns

    Batman Caped Crusader is pitted against demented, ravenous Penguin, pitiful, orphaned, psychopathic freak and ‘power’ hungry capitalist villain, Max Shreck.
  56. Die Hard

    Bruce Willis stars as New York City Detective John McClane, newly arrived in Los Angeles to spend the Christmas holiday with his estranged wife. But as Mclane waits for his wife’s office party to break up, terrorist take control of the building. While the terrorist leader, Hans Gruber round up hostages, McClane slips away unnoticed. Armed with only a service revolver and his cunning, McClane launches his own one-man war.
  57. Lethal Weapon

    Two tough cops: one carries a lethal weapon, the other is one. Teamed as unlikely partners in a highly unusual case.
  58. Four Rooms

    Don’t miss the fun in this hilariously sexy comedy that has Antonio Banderas, Madonna, and a sizzling all-star cast checking in for laughs! It’s Ted the Bellhop’s first night on the job…and the hotel’s very unusual guests are about to place him in some outrageous predicaments.

I remember watching these movies every year with my parents and I love sharing them with my family.

What’s your favorite holiday film?

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Annual Review 2017

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I think most holiday newsletters are impersonal, braggy, and rather insulting.

I don’t hear from people all year long (in this day of social media no less!), and then I get (grammatically incorrect) computer-printed, grayscale, two-page holiday stationary outlining every accomplishment of every member in their family, including pets…like they’re saying,

“Hey! See how we’re better than you?!”

It’s like people don’t even know about social media. I’m seldom on my personal private Facebook account (I only have about 30 friends and family on there!). I post more often to my public Facebook Page. I post images occasionally to Instagram. I’m more political on Twitter.

Since most of our friends and family live permanent and stationary lives, having lived in their same house for like 20+ years, I feel like they should reach out to me to chat whenever they want to – online. It’s where I live after all. As a military family, our mailing address changes every 2-4 years, but my email address and social media and blog stay the same.

I realize the concept only too well of “out of sight, out of mind.”

So, here’s my annual review for anyone who may want a summary.

Another year is coming to a close. We get to reflect on what we’ve accomplished and the lessons we learned along the way. But, perhaps, what’s more exciting, is that we get to dream of our goals for the future.

Winter 2017 was pretty uneventful. I don’t even have computer file folders for January and February. I took no pictures!

Spring 2017 was busy.

We had orders to Wright Patterson AFB and we were counting down to PCS.

We sold Aaron’s German Audi in February because it couldn’t pass the German auto inspection without about $5000 worth of repairs and that just wasn’t feasible for us since we only needed it until the PCS. So that put us down to one vehicle – our new minivan – and our village was about 40 minutes from where Aaron worked. About once or twice a week, I got up early and went to the gym with Aaron and dropped him off at work and then picked him up so I could have a car.

We chose to have our household goods packed up and shipped as early as possible so they were available at our new location ASAP. We got temporary furniture in our house.

We  stopped going to church, using our time to take days trips and explore (like Wissembourg and Cologne and some of the awesome wildparks!) before we moved.

We couldn’t justify enrolling the kids in sports or other extra-curriculars since we were in PCS survival mode and down to just one vehicle.

I got a new tattoo to cover up my faded yin yang on my right ankle.

We took our last European trip in May to Bruges and Flanders.

We reluctantly moved from Germany to Ohio in June/July.

We know we have been so blessed, living in unique places and we get to homeschool wherever the military sends us!

What most people don’t realize is that it’s really expensive (and stressful) to move every few years. While we get a “displacement allowance,” that doesn’t cover everything that moving entails. We often live out of suitcases for several weeks, even a couple months.

We took Patriot Express from Ramstein AFB to Baltimore, Maryland, that was delayed 6+ hours, so we just sat in a huge waiting room with a lot of troops coming home from deployment. We arrived in Baltimore about 2 AM local time, instead of the planned 7 PM.

I will say that the staff on Patriot Express are so kind and the meals are superior. We took a commercial flight to Atlanta from Baltimore late the next morning. Then we began recovering from jet lag. My parents weren’t exactly understanding.

We shipped our two cats ahead to Atlanta in April, to ensure airplane temperatures for them were comfortable, and it was about $1500 to get their vet records in order and their plane tickets and then there were import fees. My parents reluctantly kept our furbabies and I had their special food delivered to them. Those cats are pampered!

We also had to pay almost $1000 + gas for a rental minivan to drive from Georgia to Ohio. We pay most expenses upfront, out of pocket for food and lodging during travel to a new location – but we usually get reimbursed some of it.

We lived on base for a week or so and there is not even a library on Wright Patterson AFB! We were excited by how much organic and natural food the commissary had. We were horrified by the poor selection and high prices of the Class VI beer and wine and alcohol, after a completely different perspective in Europe.

We found a perfect rental house online right before we left Germany. We moved in July 5, because that’s as early as the movers could unload our stuff. A bookshelf got absolutely destroyed during shipment and our secondhand sofas were in even worse shape from the tape and wrappings. My lovely mahogany silverware case was warped and cracked from storage for three years. It took six months for us to receive our claim on the damaged items. But it could have been worse. Nothing was really lost. Nothing really valuable was damaged.

We didn’t get our minivan from Germany until mid-July. We had to drive to St. Louis to pick that up. That was a little bit inconvenient and took two days.

Elizabeth mostly graduated from our homeschool and began college as a dual-enrolled student. Ohio will actually fund students if you get your request in by April, but we didn’t have an Ohio address, so we had to pay out of pocket this year. The grandparents finally came through on their promise (they tried to renege on it) and paid for two semesters, totaling five courses. She is considering a history major with a minor in business and she also desires to certify in aesthetics (beauty and skin care). She just got her first part-time job at Kroger. She has a 529 plan and 1/4 of Aaron’s GI Bill, but most likely, her Kroger money will have to pay for some of her senior college year. We hope to stay in Ohio for her to complete her college education.

Ohio is quite a change for us!

We enjoy the Metroparks and local parks for playing and hiking and fishing. We love all the rivers, creeks, and ponds!

We got memberships to Brukner Nature Center and Boonshoft Scienc Museum and attend their monthly homeschool classes. The kids have made some friends in the neighborhood and it’s so nice that they ride bikes, scooters, roller blades, and play together.

We attended a church right around the corner for a while. The girls were involved in the youth group and Tori and Katie were acolytes.

Our humanities studies this year span approximately 1700-1900 and finally include USA, so that’s exciting that we can see some of the places we’re learning about, just like we planned learning trips in Europe.

We’ve been really focusing on science this year and it’s been so much fun doing experiments and learning together. Tori and Katie completed their level 6A math books. They’re continuing their studies in Greek, Latin, and French this year. Alex begins Latin next month!

Tori (and Aaron) have convergence insufficiency and begin vision therapy in January. It’s SO expensive and TRICARE doesn’t pay for it.

Alex played baseball for two years in Germany and just played fall baseball here in Ohio and really loves it. He’s already enrolled for spring season. He likes playing catcher, short stop, and first base.

Liz is realizing how broken people are, being in customer service at Kroger. Who knew people were so angry about grocery shopping? We have amazing conversations about relationships and integrity.

Tori is becoming quite the artist. Katie’s sense of humor is disarming. Alex is very active and talkative, asking questions about everything.

They all constantly surprise me.

I found a lovely hair stylist and got my hair done for the first time in forever!

We’re excited to rebuild our essential oils and natural living home business. We couldn’t do a home business in Germany due to taxes. The blog business is coming along nicely. I mostly break even, with a little extra to pay for Netflix and Spotify services.

I got a post republished on For Every Mom and some on Military Bridge. That’s pretty exciting!

Aaron is a Lt. Colonel select and will most likely pin on in March!

It’s certainly been an adjustment for us to be back in the States.

The kids had lots more freedom in Europe and were treated more respectfully than here. Europeans trust kids more and are typically delighted by them instead of seeing them as a burden or bad.

Airfare was super cheap in Europe, and we miss the ease of traveling. We miss the food for sure. The holidays seem uneventful after the Christmas we spent in Rome and Maui.

Water is very expensive here. Our utility bills are so high! And in a wry turn of events, BAH actually goes down in 2018, so we will still not break even on our rent. Our goal is to be debt-free, and we currently only have our minivan payment and one low-interest loan. We don’t use credit cards! It’s important to teach our kids financial freedom.

We don’t mail out holiday cards anymore since they seem a waste these days. We’re minimizing and simplifying.

We made some cookies to give to neighbors, but we ate them…so now we have to make more!

We’ve had a busy year.

We don’t measure ourselves by grades, trophies, or awards.

We measure our growth in how much kindness we can give to others.

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You are the Beloved Book Review

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You are the Beloved.

The truth of your life is that God our Father sees you as a precious one. He welcomes you to exist. God celebrates your existence. Know that you are infinitely loved. There is no burden on you to prove you are worthy of being loved, of being heard, of being respected, honored, and given dignity. Your life is an unceasing “yes” to the truth that you are beloved because of God’s great love. In him you deserve to be valued. On you his favor rests.

Your spirit connection with your Father matters. True legitimacy comes from the One who chose you with everlasting love. Hear the kind voice of your Father speaking to you in the core of your essence, “You are my beloved. You are accepted in my Beloved Son” (Eph. 1:6 NKJV). You are chosen. I called you by name from the very beginning. You belong to me, and I know you as my own, and I am yours. I carved you in the palms of my Son. I hold you in my embrace. You have my infinite tenderness, and I care for you intimately. I have counted every hair on your head, and wherever you go, I go with you. Wherever you are, I am. Wherever you rest, I keep watch. I will never hide my face from you. Nothing will ever separate us. Live your life as my redeemed beloved. You can find true inner freedom ever more fully.”

Say “Yes” to your belovedness, your significance, your worth, and your belonging. His “Yes” is engraved on your heart. Rise up in Christ to your full stature and discover how to fulfill your deepest essence of who you are, beloved in God your Father and kept in his Son by his Holy Spirit. The Father’s Business

You Are the Beloved: Daily Meditations for Spiritual Living by Henri J.M. Nouwen is a wonderful addition to my devotional library.

The defining moment in Jesus’ public ministry was when He was baptized in the Jordan and heard the public affirmation, “You are my beloved Son, on whom my favor rests.” Henri Nouwen believed Jesus’ “whole life was continually claiming that identity in the midst of everything.”

The book is divided into months January to December with a reading passage for every day. This collection of 365 meditations by a Catholic priest offers simple daily devotions for everyone. It focuses on our identity as the beloved of God.  Some of the writings have never been published!

The kindness and gentleness of Henri J.M. Nouwen is refreshing and helpful for dark times and encouraging for all time. The brief daily readings are profound and moving. They are thought-provoking and convicting in such a simple way, without harshness.

I jumped right in when I received the book last month, and have been reading it daily. It is a great way to start the day with peace. I expect to discover new insights in each daily reading over the years.

Important Themes:

  • You are not what you do.
  • You are not what you have.
  • You are not what people say you are.
  • You are beloved sons and daughters of God.

One of my favorites:

“When we love God with all our heart, mind, strength, and soul, we cannot do other than love our neighbor, and our very selves.”

About Henri J.M. Nouwen:

Henri Nouwen was born in Holland in 1932 and ordained a Catholic priest in 1957. He obtained his doctorandus in psychology from Nijmegen University in The Netherlands and taught at Notre Dame, Yale, and Harvard. He experienced the monastic life with Trappist monks at the Abbey of the Genesee, lived among the poor in Latin America with the Maryknoll missioners, and was interested and active in numerous causes related to social justice. After a lifetime of seeking, Henri Nouwen finally found his home in Canada, as pastor of L’Arche Daybreak – where people with intellectual disabilities and their caregivers live together in community.

Henri Nouwen wrote over 40 books on spirituality and the spiritual life that have sold millions of copies and been translated into dozens of languages. His vision of spirituality was broad and inclusive, and his compassion embraced all of humankind. He died in 1996. His work and his spirit live on. Henri Nouwen pronounced his name “Henry Now-en.” For more information on his life and work, please visit www.henrinouwen.org.

About Gabrielle Earnshaw:

Gabrielle Earnshaw is the founding archivist of the Henri J M. Nouwen Archives and Research Collection in Toronto, Canada. She has been the adviser to the Henri Nouwen Legacy Trust for sixteen years and is consulted throughout the world on Nouwen and his literary legacy. The coeditor of Turning the Wheel: Henri Nouwen and Our Search for God and editor of Love, Henri: Letters on the Spiritual Life, she compiled and edited the recently published book, You Are the Beloved: Daily Meditations for Spiritual Living, a collection of 365 insights by Henri Nouwen, the Catholic priest, professor and pastor who gained international renown as the author of 39 books. Nouwen’s books have sold upward of seven million copies worldwide, resonating with people across the religious, spiritual, cultural, and political spectrum.

You are the Beloved by Henri Nouwen would make a great present for any occasion and recipient!

I received this book from Blogging for Books for this review.

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How to Apologize

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It seems that lots of people say sorry, but they really mean “sorry, not sorry.” It’s like a bad joke, but so many people don’t know how to properly apologize. Or they don’t want to or care to make amends in their relationships. That’s just selfish.They blame others. They don’t accept responsibility for doing anything wrong. They actually blame their victims. There’s a lack of empathy.

Victims can’t accept a flippant “sorry” when they need a heartfelt apology.

And the accusers wonder why everyone is so angry.

We seem to live in a society of anger and unforgiveness. There’s little empathy.

Nobody is perfect. We make mistakes. We act stupid. We say dumb things in mean ways.

We need healthy relationships to be happy and that means we apologize when we do wrong and make amends.

Too many of us never learned how to apologize.

We would screw up and our parents or teachers or whatever authority would threaten us and make us say, “Sorry.” It didn’t matter if we meant it. As long as we said it, there were few or no consequences.

So we never learned how to apologize. We never learned the difference between sorry and a real apology. We didn’t learn well enough the concepts of empathy or right from wrong. We might not have learned self-control. We might not have learned cause and effect.

We struggle or fail in our relationships now.

But there are consequences. Eventually, the heart hardens and realizes sorry isn’t good enough.

Broken promises, lying, cheating, the cycles of abuse…

Our society has become numb to sorry.

What is sorry?

Feeling distress, compassion, regret, penitence, guilt, sympathy, pity.

“I’m sorry” is only appropriate when no one is really at fault and there aren’t any reparations.

We say it when we accidentally brush up against someone in a crowded store. We say it when we arrive a few minutes late. “Sorry, please excuse me.”

We also say it to express empathy when something bad has happened and there are no other words that make sense: “I’m sorry for your loss.”

We say it when we didn’t hear or understand: “Sorry, could you repeat that?”

What is an apology?

It’s a regretful acknowledgment of an offense or failure.

It’s more than just saying “I’m sorry.”

It’s more than regret over getting caught doing something wrong.

It’s realizing there was an offense.

It’s recognizing guilt, repenting, and expressing grief over the affront to another.

An object lesson:

Throw a dish to the ground.

Did it break?

Now, tell it you’re sorry.

Is it the same as it was?

Do you understand now?

Don’t make the kids say they’re sorry.

We’ve all been there. Maybe we’ve done this.

Kids do something thoughtless or even mean.

We expect them to be and say “sorry.” We want to teach manners and social acceptance.

Making kids say they’re sorry doesn’t teach them anything.

Making kids say they’re sorry is more about us than them.

What to do instead of making kids say they’re sorry?

  • Role model.
  • Affirm feelings.
  • Offer choices.
  • Let them work it out on their own.

How to apologize:

A real apology shows remorse, accepts responsibility, expresses empathy, asks forgiveness, and makes reparation.

Accidents happen. We speak harshly. We hurt those we love most. We forget important events. We are too often thoughtless.

Apologizing sincerely and completely helps to show how important relationships are to us and helps us to heal our hurts and prevent new harm.

Remorse

This is regret over a wrongdoing. It’s the first step in an apology. It’s more than just a quick “I’m sorry” and wanting to hurriedly move on.

Too many never get to the other stages of apology, remaining stuck here and getting angry at the victim for being upset for desiring more closure.

Responsibility

The apologizer must accept responsibility for a wrong committed. A victim must hear and understand the sincerity of the person expressing fault. It’s never comfortable, but it is very necessary.

Empathy

This is expressing understanding of another’s feelings. To realize that the victim is hurt by one’s actions or words is an important step in a real apology. Many scoff at apologies, using sarcasm or gaslighting techniques to minimize feelings and reactions. This is harmful and shatters relationships.

Forgiveness

It’s important to forgive to complete the closure process when one is hurt. This is seldom an instant feeling or action. A victim must feel safe and realize the sincerity of the apologizer not to repeat the words or actions. Sometimes, praying together helps healing.

Reparation

Sometimes, there is nothing that can make it right. Words can’t be taken back. Actions remain a vivid memory. True repentance is important. It’s more than flowers and chocolates to get out of the doghouse. It takes lots of work – daily, hourly, every minute – showing love and desire to heal relationships.

A genuine apology should say: “I realize and regret that I did or said {this} wrong. I validate your feelings about it. I won’t do it again. Please forgive me. How can I make it right?”

A great way to remember how to apologize is the PANDA method.

The best apology is changed behavior.

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Decorating on a Budget

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This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of CORT for IZEA. All opinions are 100% mine.

There are quite a few decorating challenges for military families.

Since we move every few years, we have the fun chance to redecorate often, but we need to do that on a budget.

I don’t like nor can we afford to buy an entire house full of new goods every few years when we move.

Home Décor Hacks for Military Families:

Blank Empty Spaces

Moving to a rental means a lot of white or blank walls. It’s an empty canvas!

What can we do with all that plain wall space?

Bright furniture perhaps with easy to wash throw pillow covers are easily changed with the seasons.

Fun drapery and curtains brighten up windows in every room.

Eye-catching wall art help combat those boring spaces. We love our travel photos!

Rugs are great for tile, hardwood, linoleum – really any floor surface. It really pulls a room together.

We have several mixy-matchy rugs that tie in our favorite colors and add warmth and cushion to tired feet.

Storage

Tables with cabinets, shelves, drawers, and baskets do double duty as storage containers so I don’t have to feel cluttered.

I love how our entertainment cabinet holds our TV and has drawers and cabinets to keep our gaming systems safe and tidy.

I like to display all my books in big bookcases for easy reference.

We showcase our keepsakes on the mantle and sofa table.

Games and toys are easily accessible in bookcases or cabinets either inside baskets or bins or stacked neatly.

Lighting

Lighting sets the mood.

We love natural lighting, but it gets dark early in some seasons!

We prefer simple table and floor lamps (preferably on dimmer switches!) instead of harsh ceiling lights in the afternoons and evenings.

We love to gather in the living room and play board games or snuggle up to read together by the warm glow of our table lamps and candlelight.

Furniture rental

Furniture rental is a great option for active duty military personnel since with each new PCS comes a new living situation. Temporary unaccompanied duties are also a great time to use this option.

That sectional sofa we have today, may not fit in our future home.

By working with CORT, we can find the right pieces to fit our existing spaces. Then when we are ready to move to the next base in a new city (or country!), we just give CORT a call and they’ll come pick it all up!

CORT works with military personnel to provide what we need when we need it. The best part of the furnishing process – CORT picks it up when we are ready to move on to the next assignment!

Learn more about CORT on their blog.

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