Celebrate Your Child During the Holidays

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December 2, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

Guest post by Annette Hines :

The holiday season is not an easy time when you’ve lost a child. It’s a time of year when you get together to celebrate family. And lots of things happen that accentuate that loss. You see people that you don’t normally see all year such as grandparents, aunts and uncles. You take time off work so you have more down time and time out of your daily routine to think about that loss. It’s also particularly time for celebration of children with gift giving and sweets!

In my world, it’s even more meaningful and charged with emotion because my daughter death anniversary is November 18th, so it leads off the holiday season with a bang! For me it has been six years now. Our new holiday traditions are evolving, and everybody’s new holiday journeys will be their own for sure. Also, I am not an expert and by no means am I trying to offer clinical advice. Although, in my law practice I have had the opportunity to speak with many families who have been through a loss like mine. It’s not an experience you want to share, but it is also comforting to not be alone, especially this time of year.

5 ways to remember and celebrate your child during the holidays:

1. Telling Stories of Remembrance

This is my favorite and best advice. I love love love telling stories of “remember when Elizabeth laughed so hard that the sweet potatoes came flying out of her mouth and then the dog ate them off the floor!?” Ha,Ha! Pulling out videos and photo albums can help with the memories. Some family members and friends may not have known your child that well, or at all, so this will help them enormously in both supporting you and sharing in your joys and sorrows. I love the idea that it keeps Elizabeth’s memory alive because I am always afraid of the idea that people are going to forget her and the world is going to move on without her.

2. A Celebration Meal That Includes Your Child’s Favorite Food Items

In our family, I still serve some of Elizabeth’s favorite things on certain holidays: Christmas breakfast has pancakes, and Easter will definitely have a ham. For many families, food is part of the tradition and food is love! It definitely is for us.

It also includes eating popcorn, pizza potato chips and onion dip while watching our favorite holiday movies: Christmas Vacation, and Planes, Trains and Automobiles.

3. Hanging Decorations That Your Child Made

Thank you so much to every teacher, aide and nurse who helped Elizabeth make every Christmas ornament, Mother’s Day Card and Thanksgiving Poem. I pull them out and go through them. Then I hang them throughout the house to have her close to me during the Holidays.

4. Doing For Others

During this time of sorrow – and it is always a time of sorrow for me – it really helps me to give to others. It’s a fact that getting up out of our own misery to help others can be just what we need to beat the holiday blues. Sign up to serve a holiday meal, deliver presents or warm clothes at your church or temple, or sing holiday songs at a local nursing home. Find some way to give back to your local community.

5. Self-Care is Very Important Too

Please be sure to take time for yourself as well. You may need time to be sad and grieve on your own. Be sure to seek counsel if that is in your self-care routine, get lots of sleep, exercise and eat well. The holidays can be stressful under the best of circumstances. Grief can be tricky and sneaks up on you!

Practice the art of saying no. Let someone else cook dinner for 20 people! It can be very stressful to do all that work, and as mentioned previously, seeing people that you haven’t seen all year who are naturally going to want to ask you about how you are doing. I used to get anxious for weeks before the holidays about what people were going to say or ask. And then I would be sleepless for days cooking and cleaning to get ready for the day.

It was a recipe for disaster! I was tired and sad and on edge. And of course, I would end up either being completely sad and withdrawn or blowing up at people. Not good!

This year, what is working for me is a change of scenery. My husband and I have decided to go the mountains with our puppy for a holiday getaway hiking extravaganza. I hope you find your way to both old and new traditions that work for you and your family.

Annette Hines, Esq., is the author of Butterflies and Second Chances: A Mom’s Memoir of Love and Loss. She is a powerhouse advocate for the special needs community. Not only has she founded the Special Needs Law Group of Massachusetts, PC, specializing in special needs estate planning, where special needs families compromise 80 percent of the firm’s clients, Hines brings personal experience with special needs to her practice, as the mother of two daughters, one of whom passed away from Mitochondrial disease in November 2013. This deep understanding of special needs fuels her passion for quality special needs planning and drives her dedication to the practice. For more information, please visit, https://specialneedscompanies.com/ and connect with her on Facebook, @SpecialNeedsLawGroup and listen to her podcast, Parenting Impossible – The Special Needs Survival Podcast.

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How to Help Kids Make Friends

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December 2, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

I struggled to make friends as a kid and I still struggle as an adult. I can honestly say that I don’t have any friends. I would wonder what was wrong with me and sometimes I still do, but I’m learning to accept that I’m just different, with contrary values to most of Western society.

It breaks my heart to see my kids struggle with something that I don’t really know how to fix.

As a homeschool mom, I often worry about gaps in my kids’ educations. What I worry about more is the isolation that often comes with being home alone all day every day. Sure, we go on field trips, do extracurriculars like art, music, and sports. But, it’s still often very hard to make friends, even within the homeschool community. It’s lonely.

Being a military family, we move around every few years, and I think our transience has gotten into our attitudes as well. We don’t see the point in trying too hard if we’re just going away again.

Kids don’t play outside anymore. My children don’t know where to look for playmates and friends. It seems so many are overscheduled with private lessons, extracurriculars, extra classes, and special events that they don’t have enough free time to play.

We’ve also noticed a shift in parenting the last decade or so. Parents are scared to let their kids play outside, even in their front yards. Kids are overprotected and coddled, not allowed any risk or decision making. Parenting is fear-based.

I’ve made many efforts to provide friend opportunities for my kids, but it’s really hard as they get older and into their teens.

Some kids’ brains are wired in a way that makes it harder for them to connect socially with others and make friends. They lack the executive function skills and it’s not something they figure out on their own, contrary to popular belief.

Kids often need direct experience in the step-by-step brain-based processes that develop social awareness, self-awareness, self-regulation and positive social behaviors.

Ask, don’t tell. Ask questions with genuine, respectful curiosity to find out what’s going on for your child.
Listen and learn. Welcome what your child has to say. Be calm, listen and make him comfortable.
Keep your cool. Your calm coaching response will allow you a little emotional distance, which goes a long way in finding a helpful middle ground to problem-solve with your child.
Hold the metacognitive mirror up. Help your child take a bird’s eye view of the situation and reflect on his role.
Honor your child’s aha. Whatever the realization, allow your child to have his own perspective and realizations in the process of growing awareness, reflection, goal-setting and problem-solving.
Prep first, then pave the way. Prepare the ground for sensitive conversations by sharing stories from work and elsewhere about how people do what they can for themselves, but sometimes they need to ask for help.
Meet them where they are. Better that you recognize your child’s capabilities at the present time and work with what’s real. That helps you both focus on goals and plans that are realistic.
Be a cheerleader. Celebrate positive steps, small wins, or your child’s aha and you will keep the momentum going.

In her groundbreaking book, Caroline Maguire shares her decade-in-the-making protocol–The Play Better Plan– to help parents coach children to connect with others and make friends.

Children of all ages–truly, from Kindergarten to college age– will gain the confidence to make friends and get along with others.

Coaching, using the following simple techniques and the Play Better lessons, tools and skill-building activities, creates those learning experiences for your child.

*Social Sleuthing: learn to pay attention to social cues

*Post-Play Date Huddles: help kids figure out what to look for in a friendship

*Reflective Listening: improve your child’s relationship with their peers

Caroline Maguire, PCC, M.Ed. (media features include US News & World Report, Salon, HuffPost, Parade, MindBodyGreen, Publishers Weekly and more) has successfully coached thousands of families suffering from chronic social dilemmas, ranging from shyness to aggression to ADHD and more, and spells out her program for effective parent coaching for social skills based on proven strategies and techniques that support positive behavioral change in Why Will No One Play with Me? The Play Better Plan to Help Children of All Ages Make Friends and Thrive (Hachette’s Grand Central Publishing; Sept. 24, 2019).

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Gift Guides

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November 28, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

I try to recommend items that we love and currently use or have used when my kids were little.

Gift Guides for Everyone

Book Lists

Books for Every Season

Holiday Books

Books by Topic

Amazing Amazon

What is the best present you ever received?

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Three Benefits of Peptides

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November 25, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert 2 Comments

Peptides (from Greek language πεπτός, peptós “digested”; derived from πέσσειν, péssein “to digest”) are short chains of amino acids (very small proteins) linked by peptide (amide) bonds.

Peptides serve a variety of functions within the human body. They can be extremely beneficial for your physical and mental well-being.

An experienced professional in the field, like Ryan Smith Lexington KY, can help you design a plan to use peptides in a way that makes sense for your body and lifestyle.

I love adding peptide powders to my morning smoothies and I can really tell a difference in my appearance and skin quality. My vitality is improved lately too!

Weight Loss

Peptides are a fantastic tool for losing weight, especially when you also eat healthily and exercise. Ipamorelin in particular works especially well to elevate your levels of growth hormone, and as a result, your body will become more efficient at breaking down fat. Improved body composition will, in many cases, lead to greater mental acuity as well.

Beautiful Skin

Are you looking for a way to eliminate fine lines and wrinkles? As you age, your body produces less collagen, which causes the skin to lose elasticity and become more fragile. This effect is exacerbated by factors including sun damage, the use of tobacco, and exposure to pollution. Depending on what you would most like to improve about your skin, you have a wide variety of peptides from which to choose. Acetyl hexapeptide-3, a common active ingredient in anti-aging skincare products, has an effect similar to Botox, smoothing out and greatly reducing the appearance of wrinkles. Palmitoyl tetrapide-7 and palmitoyl oligopeptide, meanwhile, are excellent choices to protect against damage from UV rays.

Lower Blood Pressure

High blood pressure, which affects a high percentage of the American population, can have harmful effects. People with high blood pressure are more likely to experience heart disease, stroke, and memory loss. Peptides can be helpful in reducing blood pressure, and they are most effective when the person using them also makes lifestyle changes such as quitting smoking and reducing the amount of sodium in his or her diet. If reducing your blood pressure is the main benefit that you are seeking from peptides, you should look into using milk-derived or fish-derived peptides.

No matter what your health goals may be, you can achieve them by making healthy choices and using an appropriate peptide supplement.

Do you use peptides? What’s your favorite way to take peptides?

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A Decade Later

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November 25, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert 20 Comments

So much has happened in ten years.

We lived in Hawaii. We explored Oahu, Maui, and The Big Island.

My husband adopted my daughter.

I was pregnant with my son.

We were and still are shifting to gentler, more respectful parenting, constantly reevaluating methods and learning.

I’ve homeschooled our four kids for over fifteen years now. I’ve come full circle in my educational and religious beliefs after exploring so many options, many of which were very harmful to me and my family.

We’re a military family. We moved from Hawaii to Utah to Germany to Ohio.

Looking back over the last decade, I realize there are few photos of me since I’m usually the one behind the camera.

I rarely take selfies. We rarely get family photos. My kids don’t have a record of me in pictures.

This picture was taken in fall 2016.

Here’s a photo of me in the same outfit in May 2019.

It’s a bit of a glow up. I feel more confident and healthy.

It’s been an adventure for sure.

I’m trying to do better to ask my family to snap photos of me, preferably when I don’t have my mouth full.

I’ve changed quite a bit in the last decade, especially the last couple years. I think I’ve improved. I’m never content with a status quo. I’m constantly growing.

If we are not regularly deeply embarrassed by who we are, the journey to self-knowledge hasn’t begun.
Alain de Botton

Self Improvement

Health

I lost 20+ pounds the last couple years.

I’m not concerned with weight as a number. I’m not concerned with aging gracefully. I just want to be healthy.

The first picture is the heaviest I ever was, not pregnant. I weighed in at about 175. I didn’t feel good. My knees hurt. I felt tired all the time. I was too sedentary. I didn’t eat well. I didn’t exercise enough or correctly. I was depressed.

I have no medical complications or issues. Thank God.

I take supplements that work for me. Glutathione and progesterone before bed. B vitamins and evening primrose in the mornings. I add collagen and flax to my smoothies.

I massage castor oil into my hands, scalp, and thighs probably weekly.

I drink lots of water. I only have 2-3 cups of caffeine each day.

I pray and meditate every day.

I try to go outside every day.

I don’t have social media on my smartphone or iPad.

I will say that I seldom have joint pain now and I feel happier and more energetic.

Food

I try to eat real foods.

I happen to really like almost all foods. I have no allergies or sensitivities.

Food has no morality.

Fiber is really important. I add chia and flax to my smoothies.

I splurge and sometimes get takeout from Raising Cane’s. I actually seldom eat out. I drink a beer or glass of wine with dinners on weekends.

I don’t like this idea of “cheat days” or “being good” by eating more veggies or the idea that veganism will save the world.

I know sugar isn’t good for me and causes health problems, so I do try to limit my refined sugar intake.

I really like bread.

I eat mostly what I want, what I like, when I’m hungry. Sometimes, that means coffee at brunchtime and a sensible dinner. I suppose it’s intermittent fasting, but I just eat when I want to, not when society tells me to.

I teach my kids that balance and moderation is key.

Exercise

I do HIIT workouts about three times a week.

I had physical therapy for my knee last year and I continue to practice what I learned with my exercise ball, balance trainer, kettle weight, and hip band.

Here’s how I maintain my healthy weight. It’s not all about exercise and eating!

Everyone is different. I’m not competing with anyone but myself.

I try to walk outside 1-3 miles every evening after dinner. If I don’t get my walk in, I don’t feel well and I don’t sleep well. This is my down time to destress and listen to the birds and wind. It calms me. I get to think and work through problems or issues or conversations.

Rest

Rest is so, so, so important.

I try to not be too busy. I like being peaceful and not rushed.

Life happens.

Even good stress can affect us physically and mentally.

When I’m stressed, I get bloated. I don’t sleep well. I feel anxious. It’s a vicious cycle.

Moving every 3 or so years is stressful. Cats get sick. Finances get wonky. Car accidents or repairs that can’t be avoided. I take extra care during stressful life events.

I try not to overschedule the kids so we don’t have to hurry and we can almost always have dinner together.

We have leisurely mornings over breakfast. We do reading. I do work while they complete their lessons. We watch shows or run errands. Evenings are for sports, dinner, walking, more reading, prayers.

Learning

I am constantly reading. I love to read books about parenting, education, religion, psychology, politics, history, historical and speculative fiction.

I have stacks of books on my shelves and tables and oodles of Kindle editions. I get books from the library if I can.

I like to read articles about my many topics of interest. These often lead to more books from their bibliography and source notes and quotations.

Learning is very important to me. I want to keep up with everything. I want to fill in the gaps in my lackluster Georgia public school education.

My aunt and several elderly female cousins had Alzheimer’s and I worry about my parents and my husband and myself.

I’m constantly reevaluating my priorities as my family and I grow and change.

What are your priorities?

Linking up: Anita Ojeda, Modest Mom, Mostly Blogging, Little Cottage, MaryAndering Creatively, Create with Joy, Kippi at Home, Anchored Abode, Our Home, Ginger Snap Crafts, Lou Lou Girls, April Harris, OMHGW, Our Three Peas, Confessions of a New Mummy, Sarah Frazer, Soaring with Him, Anchored Abode, Worth Beyond Rubies, InstaEncouragements, Ducks in a Row, Girlish Whims, Fluster Buster, Penny’s Passion, Apron Strings, Over the Moon,Mommynificent, Debbie Kitterman, Crystal Storms, Life Beyond the Kitchen, Answer is Choco, Simply Sweet Home, Grandma’s Ideas, Momfessional, OMHGF, Fireman’s Wife, CWJ, Being a Wordsmith, Life with Lorelai, TFT, Flour Me with Love,

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Introvert Holiday Survival Guide

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November 25, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert 10 Comments

The decorations are for sale in stores before Halloween and Christmas music blasts everywhere on or even before November 1.

Christmas in America is all about commercialism. It’s about rushing, doing, more. I kinda hate it.

As an introvert, I really do dread the holidays. They wear me out. I try to be bright and cheery for my kids, but I really would love to hibernate from Halloween until about Mid-March. I often wake up early or go to bed late just to get some alone time.

As a military family, we’ve seldom been near family to visit over the holidays. While in a way, this relieves me of the potential stress, it also makes me feel very, very guilty.

We visited my husband’s mom at Christmas the year after we married. I was worried about her since it was her first holiday alone since his dad had passed in April. Then she passed the following April, so I’m so glad we went.

I invited my parents to visit the kids and me last Christmas while my husband was deployed. They’re getting older and I worry how many more opportunities we will have. It was actually mostly pleasant.

What’s an introvert to do with all the expectations that come with the holidays?

Priority

Everyone has her favorite and least favorite aspects of holidays. What’s yours?

Discover your priority for the season.

Be mindful of what you’re doing, giving, having during the holidays.

Give to charity or volunteer. Try new recipes. Travel. Offer experiences instead of presents. Join a cookie or ornament swap.

Save money, time, and effort by forgoing card sending. It’s also more ethical and less wasteful. Send texts or social media greetings, or individual emails and online cards.

Take time to get outside in nature to unwind and think. There’s no bad weather, only bad clothing choices!

Make time for selfcare. I take a very hot Epsom salt bath almost every evening with chamomile or lavender tea. It really makes a difference.

The Thanksgiving holiday is rather a disappointment for me. We used to travel over the long weekend. We went to Prague and Porto and Venice.

We’ve traveled to Chicago and Maui and Rome over Christmas.

We’ve lived in so many different places as a military family that travel was a priority until the kids asked to stay home with a Christmas tree and home-cooked dinner.

Focus

Each year, I focus on something different.

We’ve traveled over holidays. That really eased up a lot of stress for me.

Some years, I really get into the Advent readings with my family.

Other years, I decorate all out. My front yard was a zoo last year with light up animals.

We often go to a local drive-through Christmas park to look at the decorations.

We went to see The Nutcracker ballet a couple years ago.

We try new recipes during the holidays, but not on the actual day in case of disappointment for tradition.

Tradition

I realize that I’m making memories for my kids.

What are your favorite memories of the holidays? Do that for yourself and your family.

It’s all about the food for us.

While I don’t make a lot of sweets, we really do love the fancy dinners.

I roast a turkey breast for Thanksgiving. I make the most wonderful herb sausage cornbread dressing. Two of my kids don’t like turkey so much. What is up with that?!

The kids get Advent calendars. Everyone gets chocolate. My son and husband share the Star Wars Lego. This year, the kids asked for Yu-Gi-Oh! My teen gets a bath bomb or makeup one.

We celebrate Saint Nicholas. We do stockings for St. Nick with chocolate orange candies and small gifts. This has relieved a lot of pressure for Christmas Eve and Day.

We celebrate Hanukkah with roast beef. When Hanukkah falls mid-December instead of during Christmas week, it’s extra special because it’s like we celebrate more and longer. I seldom can do eight nights of presents, but I try to make it special with a nice family gift.

We have prime rib and Irish ham for Christmas. My youngest daughter really loves the slow roasted ham.

With twice baked potatoes. They’re a favorite!

We also look forward to ham au gratin potatoes as leftovers!

I try to purchase my children an ornament each year so they will have a starter box of their very own Christmas when they grow up.

We almost always get new winter pajamas. And lots of books.

We read lots of holidays books and watch fun holiday movies every year.

We have a simple celebration for New Year’s.

Our holiday season ends with Epiphany.

Delegate

Trusting my kids is a huge part of sanity over the holidays.

While my husband has a panic attack when they carry his grandmother’s china dishes and my crystal butter dish to and from the dining table, I know they can handle it. They take great care with these items. And they’re just things. Someday, it will all be theirs.

My kids always wanted to help put up our artificial Christmas tree when they were very little. I think they considered it a fun puzzle with the colored branch tips.

Nowadays, I bring the big duct-taped box out of the cellar and let them have at it. They’re plenty old enough and do a great job putting it up and pulling it down to store away for another year. My husband and I usually string the lights. We all help sort and hang the ornaments.

The kids completely decorated the front of the house during deployment. It looked like a holiday zoo! I hardly had to help at all. They were amazing.

My middle daughter is quickly becoming self-proficient in the kitchen. She’s in charge of any potato dish. She also sets the table just lovely. I never have to check the placement of a fork or wine glass with her!

My husband is in charge of the prime rib. My son loves cooking meats – frying, grilling, all of it. He loves thermometers! He wants to work in a butcher shop when he’s older.

Let it go

I don’t go to holiday parties.

Most of my husband’s work obligations don’t include me anyway. Our street has an adults-only progressive dinner, but I’d rather spend time with my family than drunk overgrown frat boys. For unavoidable events where it’s important to make an appearance, know when and how to leave as early as possible without seeming rude.

We don’t go to church anymore. I kinda miss the advent readings and candle lighting and midnight singing. Years ago, the church we attended did a fun ladies ornament exchange. But I don’t miss the stress and drama at all.

I really hate shopping, even throughout the year. It’s not hard for me to say no to shopping in November and December. I shop online all year round. I save money with cash back apps. Giving experiences is better as my kids get older.

Declutter before the presents arrive so it’s less stress. One in, one out is our flexible rule. We don’t give lots, but try to limit presents to about four with this little poem.

We do a few gifts within our immediate family. No gifts for extended family. I don’t send cards. I absolutely don’t send braggy annual newsletters, not even on social media. This is all for my sanity and for ethical reasons.

What do you want your family to remember about the holidays?

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Our Wild Calling Book Review

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November 22, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

I love animals. I’ve always loved animals.

I feel it is my duty to teach my children love and respect for nature and animals.

I’ve always made nature and animal encounters a priority in our homeschool and life.

We’re a military family and I love to learn about the flora and fauna of every new place we live.

We chose to rent our current house in Ohio because the backyard is all wooded with a little creek. We often see deer, opossums, raccoons, stray cats, owls, hawks, herons, ducks, woodpeckers, hummingbirds, and sometimes even a coyote. I set out food for the critters and my family calls me Snow White.

Our next door neighbor is a certified Ohio naturalist!

The little pond near our current house offer close encounters with kingfishers, herons, ducks. I love to watch them as I take my daily walk.

We lived in the Pfalz forest in Germany and saw lots of foxes and boar along the road and in the meadows. We had a lovely little backyard pond where frogs and toads would lay eggs and we watched them grow up. We also learned about the dragonfly life cycle. We even had a huge salamander one day!

We would giggle as we watched the quail skedaddle across our backyard in Utah. The hummingbird fights were breathtaking in the mornings and evenings. We lived near Antelope Island and Farmington Bay and loved to go watch the bison, antelope, deer, water birds, eagles, and coyotes.

We spent almost every meal on our lanai in Hawaii and our nightly dinner guest was this very friendly red cardinal who would perch on the back of a chair and dine on our crumbs. He brought his wife and family every season.

I grew up in an Atlanta suburb, but I loved birds, bugs, and water life. I played in the Flint River creek system behind our neighborhood, despite my mother’s warnings.

I anticipate magic when I encounter nature. I anticipate a connection with animals and I am seldom disappointed.

No young child chooses to turn away from nature. Losing touch with that relationship hurts just as it would to be separated from any other loving, foundational connection they have in their lives.
Nicolette Sowder

We have cat companions and they are members of our family. They are better than therapy and help us through tough times. They know when we are sick or feeling down and snuggle up to us to comfort.

Without any apology, lightweight theology, or fear of heresy, I can appropriately say that Venus [the black lab] was also Christ for me.
Richard Rohr, The Universal Christ

I am a firm believer that if we are still and quiet in nature, we will be rewarded with blessings of magical animal encounters. They are curious and long to connect with us if they don’t see us as threats to them.

I’ve read sections of Our Wild Calling aloud to my family and we are all delighted at the animal encounter stories.

We looked up biophilic design. We remember seeing the animal bridges in Europe across the Autobahn and highways. My daughter told us about the turtle tunnels in Japan.

In his newest book, OUR WILD CALLING: How Connecting with Animals Can Transform our Lives—and Save Theirs, author Richard Louv redefines the future of human-animal coexistence by exploring our deep bonds with other animals and calling for a transformation in how we view, treat, and inhabit our environment.

Through interviews with researchers, theologians, wildlife experts, indigenous healers, parents, teachers, and psychologists, Louv reveals how dogs can teach children ethical behavior, how animals in urban areas are blurring the lines between the domestic and the wild, and what role the human-animal relationship plays in our spiritual well-being.

He explores urgent topics such as biodiversity, inter-species health, and unprecedented conservation practices – including the proposal to set aside half of the planet for nature and wildlife and the assisted migration of invasive species. Louv also introduces readers to pioneering biologists who practice “practical anthropomorphism” as a way to do better science, naturalists now helping thousands of people learn bird language, scientists developing new ways communicate with pets and wild animals, and animal-assisted therapists and teachers challenging the fields of mental health and education.

About the Author

Richard Louv is a journalist and author of ten books. Louv is co-founder and chair emeritus of the nonprofit Children & Nature Network, which supports a new nature movement through partnerships with such organizations as the National League of Cities. In 2008, he was awarded the Audubon Medal, presented by the National Audubon Society.

Richard Louv’s landmark book, Last Child in the Woods, inspired an international movement to connect children and nature and has now sold over half a million copies. Co-founder of the Children & Nature Network and winner of the Audubon Medal. Louv has become the expert on radically improving mental and physical health through our relationship to the natural world.

Get your copy of Our Wild Calling.

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What animal encounters have you experienced?

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Holiday Blues

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November 18, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert Leave a Comment

With the holidays upon us it’s easy for us to get caught up in the rush of it all. While we may be cooking, shopping, and enjoying holiday events, there are others, many of whom are in our very own circles, having a tougher time.

Most holiday stress and anxiety come from:

Gifts
Expectations
Overwhelm

We can reduce our gift-giving and offer experiences or fewer things.

We can simplify our expectations and stop comparing and refuse to look at Pinterest.

We can say no to situations or things that are not priority.

5 Kinds of People Most Likely to Get the Holiday Blues and How to Help:

1. Divorced or widowed

Loss is a sad, life-changing event at any time of the year.

However, it tends to be harder when everyone around you is joyful celebrating the holidays and you feel it’s an effort to get out of bed.

If someone in your circles is going through a major loss and life transition, be supportive and understanding.

They are grieving and mourning and are especially sensitive around the holidays. It’s important that they feel included but don’t be offended if they choose to opt out of certain events.

Checking in and offering them the option to participate in whatever they want, when they want is a great way to help. Love them through it.

2. Entrepreneurs

The holidays could be stressful for small business owners because so much rides on the end of year.

They may be fretting over their profits (or lack thereof), the goals they didn’t reach, and the many things still to do.

They feel overwhelmed and when they are expected to shop, entertain and be present for their families, they may be short tempered and anxious.

The best way to help the busy entrepreneur is to make their life easier in any way possible. If they can’t make it to a family dinner, tell them your door is open for dessert. Oftentimes they feel guilty and obligated which only adds to their frustration.

Also consider that these worker-bees are conflicted. When they are working, they miss their families and when they are with family, they are thinking of work.

3. Caretakers

Adults who are caretakers to their chronically ill children, relatives, or elderly parents are incredibly overwhelmed and often overlooked.

As a caretaker, they always have to consider the well-being of their patient. They can’t just get up and go.

Caretakers may feel resentful, isolated and stuck during the holidays which leads to conflicted feelings of resentment and guilt. They also believe they have to be hands on managing everything.

It’s important to lighten the caretakers load by offering support even if it means asking them how they are doing.

Be patient and ask the caretaker what they need. It could be something as simple as having food delivered to their home to free up time for other tasks.

4. Recovering addicts

Recovering from addiction is hard. Period.

But it’s harder when holiday festivities are filled with friends and family drinking everything from spiked eggnog to champagne.

Understand that those in recovery from substance abuse are hyper-sensitive about being judged. They feel as if all eyes are on them and that pressure may trigger the desire to use drugs or alcohol to soothe their anxiety. When they aren’t fully recovered, they may anticipate possible “landmines” and avoid them. They may choose to stay to themselves and observe more and participate less. They might opt out of larger family gatherings that are too overwhelming.

Offer an open invitation and remind them they are welcome whenever they are ready.

Offer a safe celebration inclusive of all – with no temptation for alcohol, drugs, or gambling.

A balance of love, support, and acceptance is what they are in most need of.

5. Children of divorce

Divorce means two separate holidays at two different places and kids often feel overwhelmed having to double up.

It’s incredibly important for parents to agree civilly on where the kids are going during the holidays and all the logistical details.

Kids want to feel safe and secure. They don’t want to feel as if they are the expected to be rushed here and there because their parents chose to divorce.

It could be unsettling to younger kids and teens may isolate and rebel against any family events as they are sorting out their own emotions as they get used to a new normal.

Don’t burden kids with guilt trips or overdo it with presents to make up for the stress. Just be honest and supportive and loving.

You really want to establish a game plan for the holidays and if possible, stick to it every year.

The holidays can be a stressful time of year for many of us. It’s a time when we must be aware and extra kind to those on the fringes.

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Quotes from Dr. Sanam Hafeez, a NYC based licensed clinical psychologist, teaching faculty member at the prestigious Columbia University Teachers College and the founder and Clinical Director of Comprehensive Consultation Psychological Services.

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Teaching Gratitude

This post may contain affiliate links. See disclosure. Check out my suggested resources.

November 11, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert 14 Comments

Feeling grateful boosts happiness and fosters both physical and psychological health, even among those already struggling with mental health problems. Studies show that practicing gratitude curbs the use of words expressing negative emotions and shifts inner attention away from such negative emotions as resentment and envy, minimizing the possibility of ruminating over them (a hallmark of depression).

Our materialistic culture encourages constant wanting and sees possessions as the source of happiness. This is not the most fertile ground for gratitude, but it is not an insurmountable barrier to developing it. Envy and especially cynicism and narcissism are “thieves of gratitude.”

I periodically take breaks from social media to help me detox from our culture of covetousness.

A study of couples found that individuals who took time to express gratitude for their partner not only felt more positive toward the other person but also felt more comfortable expressing concerns about their relationship.

Teachers or managers who remember to say “thank you” to people may find that they feel motivated to work harder.

We know that gratitude is healthy and people who are grateful are happier. There’s lots of research out there telling us this.

But sometimes, it’s still really hard.

The root of joy is gratefulness…It is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful.
― Brother David Steindl-Rast, Music of Silence: A Sacred Journey Through the Hours of the Day

We all want our children to be grateful. It’s just good manners, right?

Can gratitude be taught?

I’m a firm believer that children lead the way and teach us adults how to be more grateful.

If you leave kids alone, they surprise us in so many ways with their empathy and gratitude.

Adults seem to have lost our way and look for ulterior motives, second guess someone’s tone, or just generally assume the worst.

There’s so much more to gratitude than having a Bless This Mess sign in your kitchen.

But have you ever thought about gratitude not as a response but as a force in its own right; an initiating and healing energy that is not dependent on external circumstances but is rather an innate power of the human soul?
Cynthia Bourgeault

During the holidays, I try to focus on being content and grateful more than shopping for more things we don’t really need.

We once attended a church that bragged they didn’t express gratitude for several reasons:

We should do things in service to God and not to man.
If we are thanked for our service, it would make us prideful.
If we thank others, it’s not honoring God nor is it expressing humility.

I think they missed the mark a bit. Of course, we should honor God. Hearing gratitude or expressing thanks is just polite and courteous. We are the hands and feet of God. If a person isn’t humble and is instead prideful, seeking recognition, that’s between them and God.

Make sure no one repays a wrong with a wrong, but always pursue the good for each other and everyone else. Rejoice always. Pray continually. Give thanks in every situation because this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:15-18 CEB

Gratitude should be an ongoing lifestyle, not just one day a year, often eclipsed by heavy food and sports.

Develop an Attitude of Gratitude:

Practicing gratitude helps us build a brain primed to see the positive.

The human brain has a strong negativity bias. It helps us survive but not thrive.

Gratitude counters that bias so we can enjoy life to the fullest. It’s a little more than just always focusing on the positive. It’s an active mindfulness of being grateful.

Cultivating a natural sense of gratitude in kids starts with modeling from their most important grown-ups.

When we pause and appreciate the good around us (explicitly exploring what we feel, think and sense in our body) we show them that appreciation is important and worth taking the time for.

It’s not just about saying Thank You!

It’s things like “This ice cream is delicious. I’m so glad I have a tongue to taste it with, and you to share it with. I’m going to take a super slow bite and let it melt in my mouth. Want to try that with me?”

Pray or Meditate.

We can use prayer to cultivate gratitude.

I’ve encountered a lot of blogs and articles and books centering on a gospel of gratitude, and while I think being grateful and practicing gratitude is a key to a successful life, I don’t think that’s the sole purpose of any religion. It’s just another tool to help us.

Mindfulness meditation involves focusing on the present moment without judgment. You can focus on a word or phrase or focus on what you’re grateful for.

If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.
Meister Eckhart

Forced thank you’s can backfire.

Feeling gratitude and saying thank you aren’t the same thing, and pressure to say specific words can lead to resistance and resentment.

We can support our kids by helping them figure out what they are actually feeling, and finding the words to match.

As they get a bit older, we can start exploring how what we say to others may make them feel, and how expressing gratitude makes us feel. Emotional health is important.

We can help kids develop an attitude of gratitude through regular rituals and activities that build mental habits.

If the whole family participates it will also lead to increased feelings of connection with each other.

Some examples of gratitude rituals include:

Practicing a one-word gratitude circle at meals or another time that works for your family.

Naming aspects of our own body, mind and heart that supported us that day at bedtime.

Keeping a gratitude journal (these can be individual, but you can also create a family journal that everyone can contribute to).

Writing a thank you note once a week.

When fun or fulfilling things happen, make a habit of “taking in the good” by remembering and talking about the sensory and emotional experience of the positive situation

Creating gratitude art projects for things children enjoy or appreciate.

A gratitude web, for example, may have a bubble of ice cream in the middle, and then around it would be the grown up who worked to buy it, the people at the shop or store who sold it to us, the person who made it, the farmer who milked the cow, the cow itself, etc.

Letting our kids know we are grateful for them (in specific ways that validate who they are) gives them an embodied experience of what it feels like to be appreciated.

It builds up their sense of self, and strengthens your relationship while supporting their capacity to feel gratitude. When we feel appreciated, it’s much easier to appreciate others and the world around us!

Make sure you apply your child’s love language so they feel appreciated and loved.

There are studies that show being mindful of gratitude for more than 21 days improves contentedness and our happiness quotient.

Think of the various tests you encounter as occasions for joy. After all, you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance. Let this endurance complete its work so that you may be fully mature, complete, and lacking in nothing.
James 1:2-4 CEB

What are you most grateful for today?

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Linking up: Welcome Heart, Modest Mom, Anita Ojeda, Little Cottage, Mostly Blogging, Flour Me with Love, Kippi at Home, Home Stories, LouLou Girls, April Harris, Confessions of a New Mummy, Mary Geisen, InstaEncouragements, Purposeful Faith, Uncommon Suburbia, Our Home, Country Crafts, Dedicated House, Our Three Peas, Worth Beyond Rubies, Soaring with Him, Sarah Frazer, Anchored Abode, Grandma’s Ideas, Wise Woman, Ducks in a Row, Ginger Snap Crafts, Girlish Whims, Fluster Buster, Ridge Haven Homestead, Penny’s Passion, Apron Strings, Debbie Kitterman, Crystal Storms, TFT, Over the Moon, Imparting Grace, Try it Like it, Quiet Homemaker, Answer is Choco, Simply Sweet Home, Della Devoted, Momfessionals, Lyli Dunbar, Counting My Blessings, CWJ, OMHGF, Life with Lorelai, Create with Joy,

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Organizing Recipes

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November 4, 2019 By Jennifer Lambert 25 Comments

We have a lot of cookbooks.

I have a bin full of handwritten recipes from my husband’s two grandmothers. I plan to scan those in to my computer so they’re never lost. I’m working to organize them in page protectors or even a printed scrapbook cookbook.

All recipes tell a story.

I have two BHG cookbooks. My mom’s with handwritten notes and a newer one. I prefer my mom’s where she jotted down when I made wheat bread for a colonial class project. She also added the years she made which Christmas cookies or cakes.

We also collect a lot of recipes – from magazines and online sites.

How to Organize Recipes

Recipe Binders

Super easy to make a recipe binder and fun for gifts for the cook or foodie.

I have started compiling recipe binders for my kids as keepsakes of our favorite family recipes for them.

What you need for a recipe binder:

Big 3 ring binder or several small binders for various cooking styles (desserts, main dishes, grilling, baking)
Pretty cover for binder
Dividers
Clear page protectors
Clear small pockets for small recipe cards and/or recipes clipped from magazines

Cooking Journals

I have a couple recipe journals to make notes when I try new recipes.

I seldom follow a recipe exactly, and it’s a huge joke with my kids that no recipe is perfect for me. I always want more of something, add a little of this or that, or don’t measure.

My grandmother never measured anything.

We measure garlic with our hearts.

My husband is often irritated that I don’t make the same dish twice because I often don’t measure or follow the recipe the same way or I don’t remember how I tweaked it last time and everyone loved it. I’m trying to remember to make notes in the journal!

Computer and/or Software

Eat Your Books
Trello
Dropbox
OneNote
Office documents
MasterCook
Cook’n

Apps

Many cooks prefer to declutter and have recipes digitized.

This makes recipes searchable by several criteria, saving time and space. You can easily pull up a recipe on a tablet or laptop on the counter or table while you cook.