We’re a third culture family.

Our lifestyle is vastly different than the way my husband and I grew up, and certainly different from that of our parents, except my dad’s life as a Navy brat.

My dad doesn’t have too many fond memories of growing up and I’m realizing my gregarious eldest daughter doesn’t enjoy moving around so much either.

We didn’t realize how different our lifestyles had become until I read this book, Third Culture Kids, and started evaluating our transitions since getting married and having a family.

Having grown up in Georgia, and living there for 29 years, my life was pretty stable, as was Liz’s for her first four years (not taking into account all that bustling back and forth to her birth father’s house every two weeks and alternate holidays).

Since then, our life has been a whirlwind of moving all over every few years. My kids’ lives are vastly different than many of their peers’ and even within the homeschool, Christian, military communities, we seem to be the oddballs.

Our family’s most major life events (and stressors):

1. Aaron and I got married in January 2005.
2. We moved to San Antonio, in summer 2005.
3. We were blessed by Victoria’s and Katherine’s arrival. We were a minority there, and our blonde babies were fascinating for many of the Latinos who were in our homeschool groups.
4. Both Aaron’s parents passed away within a year. It’s been so hard.
5. We moved to Hawaii, in 2007.
6. We were blessed by our baby boy, Alexander, joining our family. Again, we were a minority, and my blonde, blue-eyed babies were petted and doted on by many of the Asians and Hawaiians we knew.
7. We moved to Salt Lake City, Utah, in 2010. There, we were in a religious minority, not being LDS. It was difficult and we didn’t make many friends among homeschoolers or neighbors. We did find an amazing church family. We kinda miss it.
8. And we recently moved to Germany in summer 2014. Of course, there’s a language and cultural barrier. We’re learning all sorts of new things to cope with living here. So far, we love it! In some ways, we stand out (like when I drive my very American Dodge Caravan), but in other ways, we fit in ok.

As a military family, we must learn to weather the transitions and fit in quickly.

We have different defense mechanisms than other people. We know we don’t have years to make deep friendships. We don’t have houses or backyards with fun building and creative projects that will last for generations.

We have to make memories and can’t be attached to things.

I love how Timothy Keller put it in The Prodigal God: “There seems to be a sense, then, in which we all are like the younger brother. We are all exiles, always longing for home. We are always traveling, never arriving. The houses and families we actually inhabit are only inns along the way, but they aren’t home. Home continues to evade us.”

If this concept is difficult for me sometimes, I know it’s hard on the kids!

To make transitions easier, I try to do something special for the kids to look forward to and help them adjust as quickly as possible.

We try to keep up with the local homeschool scene. We never seem to quite fit in. But I know the kids need playtime with other kids. So I take them to the group field trips and park or gym days. I usually sit in a corner, alone, playing on my phone or reading while the other moms ignore me and chat amongst themselves. They all go to the same Baptist church, so there’s that.

This PCS, I bought the three younger kids new bedding before we left the States {yay for planning ahead!} – (and we bought Alex a whole new big-boy loft bed as soon as we arrived in Germany!).

Alex’s bedding is Monster Trucks, and the comforter is on the floor. Of course. I found it at Target before we moved.

Tori and Kate were so excited when we unpacked and they were anxious to get their beds made, all pretty and new.

I found their bedding at Bed, Bath, and Beyond before we moved.

It’s perfect and my girls’ favorite colors – teal and green.

For my teen, Elizabeth, we got her connected right away with the Civil Air Patrol squadron here. (If you have a child interested, message me for her CAP # so she gets recruiter credit!)

They were super impressed that she packed all her uniforms and books. She had an FTX after we packed out, so she didn’t have much choice. She’s showing her true colors as a natural leader, promoting in rank and being a flight NCO. She’s looking forward to her second encampment.

We also had Liz check out the chapel youth activities while we stayed in TLF, but since we moved into our house, it hasn’t been convenient to drive her on base right at dinnertime on Tuesday evenings.

She’s loving the local community drama team and will perform in the play KinderTransport!

I realize the importance of keeping my social butterfly connected with positive social outlets.

As a family, we started attended the traditional church service at the base chapel. Our first Sunday, we started walking there (it was on the other side of base!) and we got offered a ride by a chaplain who saw us. That’s real Christian living, folks.

So far, the service is just ok and we understand that summer is the transition time for most military, so we await a new chaplain to see if we like the services more. Not sure what to do if we don’t…there’s always the liturgical service at 0900, if we can get up and get there.

There aren’t too many choices for English-speaking church services around here. Lots of Baptist, Pentecostal, and non-denominational churches that don’t appeal to us one bit (no offense to those of you who attend those kinds of churches, but to each his own). One Lutheran and one PCA. We haven’t been super successful maintaining a consistent church experience. Living all over makes it especially difficult for fringe denominations and non-Christians.

Church “shopping” is no fun at all.

I am so thankful that my kids get to grow up living, learning, and knowing different cities, states, countries, and cultures.

We are so blessed with getting to live in many different places and being able to travel and have so many unique experiences.

I look forward to seeing the adults my children grow up to be.

The world is a much smaller place for them than it was for me as a kid and young adult.

Nowhere is our home when everywhere is.

Resources:

• Third Culture Kids 3rd Edition: Growing up among worlds by Ruth E. Van Reken, Michael V. Pollock, David C. Pollock
• This Is Where You Belong: Finding Home Wherever You Are by Melody Warnick 
• Almost There: Searching for Home in a Life on the Move by Bekah DiFelice
• God Strong: The Military Wife’s Spiritual Survival Guide by Sara Horn
• Tour of Duty: Preparing Our Hearts for Deployment: A Bible Study for Military Wives by Sara Horn
• Chicken Soup for the Military Wife’s Soul: 101 Stories to Touch the Heart and Rekindle the Spirit by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, and Charles Preston
• Faith Deployed: Daily Encouragement for Military Wives by Jocelyn Green
• Faith Deployed…Again: More Daily Encouragement for Military Wives by Jocelyn Green
• Faith, Hope, Love, & Deployment: 40 Devotions for Military Couples by Heather Gray