What can you give military families?

We were lucky that when my husband deployed, it was after Christmas.

Not so lucky that he left on our anniversary, but oh, well.

And he returned before the next Christmas.

But we missed celebrating birthdays and other fun events.

You can give the gift of time or service for a military family, deployed situation or not.

We often don’t need more things and we often won’t ask for help, even when we need it most. We’re used to fending for ourselves and caring for our own. And pretending everything’s ok.

This list is great year-round, for military families with a deployed member or not.

10 Gifts for the Military Family:

1. Yard care. If you live in a climate with winter, you can shovel or snow-blow their driveway and sidewalks. It will be much appreciated. Trust me. Mow the lawn. Help with yardwork. Lots of youth groups or scout troops need community service. This is a great way to show support.
2. Caffeine. Drop by with coffee, tea, or hot chocolate. Or gift cards to Starbucks or Teavana. Especially on cold, dark, rainy, or snowy days.
3. Visit. Stop by unannounced with donuts or fresh bread and clean the kitchen. Bring wine! Some friends from church did that for me on my birthday when my husband was deployed. I was elated. It was such a beautiful thing.
4. Take the kids. Treat them to ice cream. Or to a park. Or to a museum. Or a movie. Out. Somewhere. Anywhere. Give mom a break for an hour or two. As a homeschool mom with four kids and a deployed husband, I needed a break, people.
5. Encourage self-care. Take the kids for an evening (or weekend) so the couple can have a date night. If the military member is deployed, offer to watch the kids for an afternoon or evening to help out. Often, military couples have a hard time finding child care so they just don’t ever go out. Not cool. They need that adult couple time. Recently, some amazing friends took our four kids all weekend long so we could go away (only about an hour away, but still!). It’s only the second time we’ve done that throughout our whole marriage!
6. Vehicle care. Get their vehicle serviced or detailed. Seriously. This is something a friend of mine received when her husband was deployed and I thought it was ingenious! I never think of it until dashboard lights come on. And then there’s trouble and lots of expense involved!
7. Hospitality. Invite the family over for a meal, dessert, drinks, a music event, a holiday lights display. Something. Include them. We’re often far from home and family and feel isolated and excluded. And we’d love to learn new traditions and celebrate with you.
8. Carpooling. If you know the kids have music lessons, dance, gymnastics, art, sports, church activities, whatever…offer to help out, especially if there are babies in the household. I was so stressed juggling my four kids and their activities when my husband was deployed. Sometimes, I would skip something to let the baby finish a nap. It was just easier.
9. Anticipate needs. Bring grocery necessities by or call if you’re at the store to see if they need anything. It’s so frustrating to run out of milk or eggs or realize you’re missing an ingredient for a recipe and have to drop everything to run to the store. But to drag four kids out in a blizzard with no help and not being able to call, “Honey, can you pick up ____ on the way home?” Depressing.
10. Appointments. If they have medical or vet appointments, ask if you can help. Most vets and doctors prefer children not to be in attendance so there’s no distraction, so offer to watch the kids during appointments. Many moms don’t get check-ups since it’s so stressful. Help her maintain her health!

Ask. Offer. Be sincere.

We often say we’re just fine when we’re really hanging onto sanity by a fine thread.

You can offer to walk the dogs. Or just come over for a chat. Bring a bottle of wine over after the kids’ bedtime. Email or call for some encouragement. Send a note or flowers that you’re thinking about her.

If something breaks in the house or car and she’s used to relying on her husband to fix it, help her find someone to do the job – free or cheap!

Be someone they can call if they need help. Be a listener. Be a doer.

Our neighbors helped to clear everything out of our basement when it flooded on a holiday morning and my husband is deployed. (Thank God for my amazing neighbors. Bless those people!)

Be available. Be a friend.

Linking up: Sunny Day Family