Jennifer Lambert

A Sacred Balance

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Orange Beach

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I have a feeling we won’t have many family trips now that my kids are almost all grown.

My three youngest begged to go to the Gulf this last summer, like they anticipate it too.

We visited PCB a couple years ago for a baseball tournament but he didn’t get a lot of free time and had to come home early for more baseball activities.

I love the Gulf and Alabama beaches. It’s still one of my favorite places since I was a kid.

We went to Gulf Shores a couple years ago but my son and husband couldn’t make the trip due to the baseball schedule.

We found a lovely condo at The Palms in Orange Beach, which I think is a perfect place.

We loved an easy dinner our first night at The Shrimp Basket.

We were very close to Publix grocery store, which has so many delicious things we can’t find at home.

Cactus Cantina was some of the best Mexican food we’ve had in many years!

We absolutely loved Wolf Bay, but Doc’s was extremely disappointing. We want to go back to try Big Mike’s.

We did all the cheesy touristy things.

We just love Alligator Alley and the boys really loved it too!

We loved walking around and feeding the alligators and listening to one of the shows. We also saw lots of herons and bugs!

We love the little town of Foley for their shops and vibe. The cutest ice cream shop! We went to several record stores and thrift shops.

He finally got to go to Lambert’s and got his throwed roll!

Of course, my son got stung by a jellyfish, but he said that won’t deter him from more beach and ocean, just no more swimming with purple flags. He healed up very quickly.

We saw lots of different crabs, sand dollars, some rays, cool fish, dolphins, herons, gulls, jellyfish and comb jellies.

There were several storms and we didn’t get to visit the Gulf Shores State Park, but we did get TCBY twice and played a fun game of puttputt at Pirate’s Island Adventure Golf.

We stopped at Blalock’s market to stock up on freezer fish and they are just lovely and great prices.

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Ocean City

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My son had a baseball tournament in Ocean City, Maryland the end of June.

It’s been a very busy and stressful year for our family and we all longed for breaks in our routine. My middle kids couldn’t go because they took a summer algebra class at their university. I didn’t really want to go but I wanted to watch my son play in his last tournament.

I’ve never been to that part of the Atlantic coast.

Yes, the Chesapeake Bay Bridge is really that big and scary.

It’s not my favorite place. It just seemed like one thing after another – a terribly dangerous heat wave, the AC broke in the condo building and we had to move, I lost my favorite prescription sunglasses in the ocean.

The food was absolutely excellent though.

Of course I ate my weight in crab.

We loved Harpoon Hanna’s, just over the Delaware border.

Lombardi’s was great pizza.

Guido’s was a fun taco bar.

Our favorite place was Fish Tales Bar and Grill. We sat on a sandy deck harborside and the food was outstanding.

We ate at the Greene Turtle twice because my son loved the turkey sandwich lol

While I loved seeing my son play baseball, the highlight of the trip for me was visiting Assateague Island!

It is the end of an era for my son, who played on this baseball team for about four years and now the team is dissolved. He learned a lot and improved so much and is now moving on to better teams with better coaches – both elite travel in Cincy and for our local high school.

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Toledo Weekend

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For my third child’s homeschool high school graduation celebration, we went to Toledo for a weekend in June 2025.

We stopped in Lima for lunch at Kewpee Burgers.

We visited the zoo on a perfect cooler day. It started out rainy but cleared up nicely.

It was a highlight to pet the sturgeons!

We were so tired that we found a little place near our Perrysburg hotel for dinner: Basil Pizza & Wine Bar.

The art museum is wonderful.

There’s a lovely classics exhibit with a fun theatre, and African art, and so many pieces we have studies over the years – and outside sculptures and a glass building. It’s a lot!

We had dinner at Souk Mediterranean Kitchen and Bar and it was delicious!

We stopped at several record stores, thrift shops, and the Maumee Antique Mall on the way home.

It was a unique way to celebrate a high school graduation, even though Akantha has attended a local university for three years already!

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World Menopause Day

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In honor of World Menopause Day, October 18, Dr. Janette Gray, internal medicine physician, hormone expert, author of The Truth about Sex Hormones, and medical director and founder of Perfect Balance Health, is sharing 10 key signs every woman should know about menopause.

“Although menopause is natural, for many, it can lead to a hormone imbalance and deficiency, which is an often overlooked yet widespread and silent epidemic,” warned Dr. Gray. “Millions of people are either undertreated or not treated at all for hormone imbalance, suffering needlessly from fatigue, weight gain, poor sleep, loss of sexual function and an overall poor sense of vitality. What makes this lack of treatment even more dangerous is that untreated hormone deficiency can cause heart attacks and even dementia.”

The Truth about Sex Hormones: Learn How to Unlock the Secrets to Balancing Your Hormones for Vitality and Longevity



10 Key Signs Every Woman Should Know About Menopause

1. Irregular Periods for 90 Days: If your menstrual cycle becomes unpredictable for three consecutive months, with periods arriving early, late or skipping entirely, this is often the first sign of perimenopause beginning.

2. Night Sweats and Hot Flashes: While hot flashes get attention, night sweats that soak through pajamas and sheets are actually reported by 85% of menopausal women and can start years before periods stop.

3. “Menopause Brain”: Difficulty finding words, forgetting names or experiencing brain fog isn’t your imagination. Declining estrogen directly affects cognitive function and memory processing.

4. Sleep Disruption Pattern Recognition: Waking up between 2 a.m. and 4 a.m. regularly, even without night sweats, indicates hormonal shifts affecting your natural sleep-wake cycle.

5. Joint Pain: Unexplained aches in hands, knees or shoulders that worsen in the morning could be estrogen-related inflammation, not just aging.

6. Mood Changes That Aren’t “Just Stress”: Sudden irritability, anxiety or feeling emotionally overwhelmed without obvious triggers often begin two to three years before periods end.

7. The Bladder Wake-Up Call: Increased urgency, frequency or minor leakage when laughing or sneezing signals pelvic floor changes from hormonal decline.

8. Skin and Hair Texture Changes: Thinning hair, dry skin despite moisturizing or adult acne appearing after years of clear skin reflect shifting hormone levels.

9. Weight Shifting to Middle: Gaining weight specifically around the waist, even with unchanged diet and exercise, indicates metabolic changes from decreased estrogen. While most people associate testosterone with men, women need it too, and hormone replacement therapy with estrogen and testosterone goes a long way toward eliminating midsection weight gain.

10. Start Watching at 45: While the average menopause age is 51, symptoms can begin as early as mid-40s, and women with a family history may experience changes even earlier.

“As soon as you notice perimenopause symptoms, it’s a good time to discuss these health changes with your doctor and get your hormone levels tested,” advised Dr. Gray. “Women who choose hormone replacement therapy or bioidentical hormone replacement therapy get the most health benefits, including relief from hot flashes, better sleep, improved mood and libido, better cardiovascular health, protection from Alzheimer’s, and stronger bones when they start early.”

About Janette Gray

Dr. Janette Gray is an internal medicine physician and recognized pioneer in integrative medicine and bioidentical hormone replacement therapy with over three decades of clinical experience. As founder and medical director of Perfect Balance Health in San Diego, she has dedicated her in-clinic and telehealth practice to helping adults of all genders achieve optimal wellness through personalized Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) and comprehensive weight management programs. Dr. Gray’s evidence-based approach combines traditional medical expertise with cutting-edge hormone therapies to address fatigue, metabolic dysfunction, decreased libido and age-related wellness concerns. A passionate advocate for healthy aging, Dr. Gray exemplifies her treatment philosophy through her own active lifestyle as a competitive pickleball player, participating in tournaments across the United States. For more information, visit https://perfectbalance.health.

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Setting up Teens for Financial Success

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Our family has certainly has its ups and downs with finances over the decades.

We’ve pulled ourselves out of debt a few times only to find ourselves soon drowning again over vet bills or car trouble or another emergency.

My military husband had a few scary times when there were furloughs or job cuts. When he retired, there have been struggles with keeping civilian employment.

I can’t imagine the stress my kids’ peers and cousins have with struggling financially while navigating higher education, finding a career, learning adult relationships, figuring out transportation and healthcare.

I refuse to force my children to navigate their lives on a rollercoaster of debt and vibes. I have the privilege of providing them a legacy and I will launch them into successful futures.

We’ve had a few windfalls that helped us completely change our lifestyle and goals.

My husband and his two sisters received three large disbursements and an annual dividend from their aunt and mom, and we sure do appreciate their foresight and generosity.

My husband received 100% VA disability rating and that provides for our kids’ futures and educations.

It was shocking dealing with my husband’s parents’ deaths twenty years ago and realizing how little they had planned for retirement. Then, in December I became the caregiver for my parents and was devastated to realize how they had hoarded money for decades while claiming they had nothing. They didn’t invest or plan wisely; they lived in fear. In July, my father’s death threw us into a whirlwind of paperwork. Luckily, they have no real assets, so nothing goes to probate.

My husband and I set up a trust for our four children so there are no surprises or concerns in case of emergencies. I don’t want anything to have to go through probate court.

Partner with a financial advisor. There is so much that I don’t understand. I don’t have accounting or financial training and that is literally what our annual fee at our banking institution provides – annual meetings for review and advice for future planning for our entire family.

We are helping prepare our kids for an uncertain future with financial education and investments.

10 Ways for Teens to Achieve Financial Success

  1. Get a part time job.
    • I encourage my teens to work outside our home as soon as they think they can handle it. Two of my kids chose to do so about age 15-16 and one waited until age 18. My son will probably get a job when he turns 16, if he can manage with his school and sports schedule.
  2. Open bank accounts.
    • Credit unions will have lower or no fees, better customer service, higher savings interest rates, and lower loan rates.
  3. Learn how to budget.
    • Kids can begin with the 50-30-20 (or even more aggressively tiered towards savings and investing if they’re able)
    • 50% income for expenses
    • 30% towards wants
    • 20% towards savings and investing or debt
  4. Zero debt education planning
    • Invest towards higher education as soon as possible
    • Apply for financial aid if applicable
    • Apply for scholarships – even the little ones can add up
    • Work-study programs
    • Try to avoid high interest student loans whenever possible
  5. Add as authorized user on parent credit card.
    • Be smart with credit and use points or cash back cards
    • Pay off debts each month so never accrue interest debt
  6. Joint auto loans
    • There are hardly starter cars available anymore! A joint auto loan helps build a credit history and gives teens a goal.
  7. Roth IRA
    • We try to invest the max allowed each year according to income
    • Compound growth over decades. Tax-free retirement income.
    • Can withdraw original contributions at any time
    • Withdrawals before age 59 1/2 may incur taxes and penalties
  8. High interest savings accounts
    • Better than a traditional savings account, but often requires a larger balance to maintain
    • Money market accounts have higher interest rates than regular banking accounts
    • CD in increments of 6, 12, 18+ months has protected interest rates for those time frames
  9. Investment funds
  10. Legal paperwork
    • Once a child is 18, parents cannot legally make decisions anymore
    • Life insurance, HIPAA release, Health Care Proxy, Power of Attorney, FERPA Waiver, Will

Bonus tips:

  • Learn SKILLS – EQ, communication, marketing, sales, computers, etc. Formal education is NOT enough.
  • Surround yourself with like-minded people who share similar values and goals.
  • Don’t drink alcohol, especially in clubs or bars. It’s expensive and disrupts your health.
  • Don’t do drugs. Be careful even with prescription drugs. We don’t even understand the long-term effects of some heavily prescribed medicines.
  • Maintain your physical health. Walk. Go to the gym. Eat well. Get enough sleep.
  • Care for your mental health. Manage stress. Go to therapy. Work through your triggers or trauma.

If you’re not around to enjoy the fruits of your labor, what’s the point?

We have experienced immense financial changes in the past year. We had four car payments, a mortgage, and credit card debt. We had little savings, but several investments from the beginning, even if regularly depositing into them had been put on hold. My husband lost two jobs after retiring from the Air Force. My eldest daughter had a lemon car with a lien we had to pay off and has struggled with jobs for a couple years.

I understand that too many families struggle living paycheck to paycheck and experience mountainous debt with medical bills or other financial burdens. Our society strives to keep us as slaves to debt. There is no real way to save when we are in survival mode.

We invest our money now so we can have the freedom to walk away from situations we don’t like in the future. ~Call to Leap

Resources:

  1. The Simple Path to Wealth by J L Collins
  2. The Algebra of Wealth by Scott Galloway
  3. Secrets of a Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker
  4. Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill 
  5. The Little Book of Common Sense Investing by John C. Bogle
  6. The Millionaire Next Door by Thomas J. Stanley, Ph.D. and William D. Danko, Ph.D 
  7. The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel
  8. The Soul of Money by Lynne Twist
  9. Bogleheads
  10. Investopedia
  11. NerdWallet
  12. Morningstar
  13. Marketwatch

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Disengaged

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It took twenty years to “reach” my husband.

It’s complicated.

It’s hard growing and changing and evolving alone.

He thought I would leave him when I received access to my inheritance six months ago, so in desperation and fear, he said all the things he thought I wanted to hear, but it was just lip service and everything very quickly went back to the way it’s always been and the kids are old enough now that they notice and they’re not as forgiving as I have always been.

It’s too easy for him to be complacent and thoughtless and invisible. I was too busy to deal with it except periodically – the same argument for decades.

The transition to retirement after twenty years of working outside the home is hard for him. He has no place here in the house. He never wanted to make decisions. He left it all up to me and now he’s hurt and confused and constantly in the way. He yearns to feel needed, but we have spent all these years on our own.

The “Nice Guy” Dilemma: A passive, over-accommodating, validation-seeking man with unclear boundaries who avoids conflict at all costs.

He is in denial that he ever experienced trauma. He has no friends, no hobbies, no interests. He bids constantly to his sisters and brother-in-law, and chats online with his college roommate and past coworkers. He craves affirmation and attention that is undeserved and unearned.

All the excuses, the ultimatums. He wasn’t raised; he wasn’t trained to be a husband whereas I was trained to be everything to everyone. I guess I expected more and that’s on me. There is no team or partnership if I do it all and am expected to think, plan, feel, and anticipate everything for everyone. I’m not even the curious anthropologist trying to figure him out anymore. Curiosity is met with anger.

I gave up my career for this?

Our entire society sets up men and really all people for failure in relationships – failure to recognize self and how be a healthy individual.

All the jokes, memes, complaints online about men won’t go to therapy…so many hurting people who don’t even recognize their trauma or are in absolute denial they ever experienced any abuse or neglect.

We are taught to look to others for completion and happiness. We are not taught how to be emotionally healthy or how to communicate nonviolently.

Men “have a hard time expressing their emotions. (This is so common there’s even a technical term for it: “normative male alexithymia.”) 

Article: She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes by the Sink

Many of us and especially men have no friends, no one outside their families. They may have acquaintances at work and they may “socialize” but it is shallow unmeaningful activity.

Men rely on their moms, sisters, girlfriend or wife – for everything.

Now that I will be fifty next year, I just don’t care anymore. I refuse to bear the burden when no one rescues or cares for me. I will protect myself and plan for a future alone. I don’t have to waste away while I still have dreams and goals.

Article: Men have no friends and women bear the burden.

“The older women get, the less willing they seem to be a man’s everything—not only because we become more confident, wise, and, well, tired with age, but because our responsibilities pile up with each passing year.”

I refused the mental labor of handling my husband’s sisters and their kids. I refused to play the trophy military wife. I refused to sacrifice myself and my kids on the altar of the American church. I refused to allow my kids to witness the assimilation of myself into an entity only known as Mrs. I watched my parents in an awful marriage and spent the last six months trying to keep them safe.

I refuse to compromise myself.

I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better. ~Maya Angelou

I’ve grown as a person, as a parent, as a wife. I have never been, nor am I, perfect. But I am not who I was even a few years ago. I am a different and evolving and healing person while he remains stagnant. And that’s the sadness.

My parents and my husband and his family are disengaged, passive, uninterested, detached.

I refuse to accept low effort relationships. I don’t understand the shallow self-centered mediocrity, the surface-level small talk, the obliviousness of all the wonders of life. I’ve asked myself since I was eight years old, why? Why is everyone like this? Is it me?

I don’t understand the lack of interests. Even at my lowest points, my darkest depressions, I have always had music, movies, books, nature. I have done my shadow work and read all the books and watched the videos and gone to therapy (which didn’t help, but I tried), and worked on myself and studied my faults to improve.

I’ve asked him what legacy he plans to leave the kids? What memories will they have? Is he content with his lack of relationship with them? What if they all move away and never come back? I don’t know what catalyst there can be to initiate change at this point.

Everyone I have ever known is just going through the motions of living.

What to do when you don’t want or can’t divorce or live separately?

Change the mindset that the other can be fixed or even understands or desires change. There is no active abuse; there’s just distance and disconnect. I’m just tired of reaching out. I’m exhausted.

Ten signs of silent divorce:

1. You live like roommates, not partners.

There’s no teamwork, shared goals, or emotional connection – just coexisting.

2. Communication has stopped.

Conversations feel surface-level, limited to logistics like bills or schedules, with no deeper connection.

3. Physical intimacy is nonexistent.

There’s little to no affection, whether it’s holding hands, hugging, or spending quality time together.

4. You feel lonelier with them than when you’re alone.

Emotional distance can feel even heavier when you’re sharing space with someone.

5. There’s no conflict but also no connection.

Lack of arguments doesn’t mean things are fine; it can mean you’ve stopped engaging altogether.

6. You’re no longer a priority.

Your partner doesn’t invest time or energy in you or your relationship.

7. You avoid spending time together.

You find excuses to be busy or away from home, or even separate while at home.

8. You daydream about a different life.

You fantasize about being single or with someone else, or even just alone and at peace.

9. You feel stuck or resigned.

You’ve accepted unhappiness as your new normal.

10. You’ve lost respect for each other.

Small irritations have grown into contempt or disgust.

(List: Libby Finlayson)

Some of this list are just the way it always has been. It’s all we’ve ever witnessed in our parents, siblings, peers, church acquaintances, even in pop culture. It’s considered normal and accepted.

It’s like there’s something wrong with me for longing for more. I’m asking for too much. My expectations too high.

It is exhausting for wives to be everything to her husband.

I choose myself and my kids. I have created this empire.

Marriage is scam that only benefits men. I stopped auditioning for crumbs.

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Resources:

  • The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert by John M. Gottman 
  • The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships by John Gottman
  • Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships by Henry Cloud and John Townsend 
  • The Marriage You Want: Moving beyond Stereotypes for a Relationship Built on Scripture, New Data, and Emotional Health by Sheila Wray Gregoire and Dr. Keith Gregoire
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High School Graduation

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My third child is launched out into the world.

As a CCP student for several years already, they applied officially to our local university with enough credits to be almost a junior.

They attended a CCAD College Preview which confirmed they did not actually desire to complete art school. They take commissions and work on lots of arts and crafts projects.

They’ve taken figure skating lessons for years and leveled up frequently. They’re taking a break this first semester of university so they’re not overwhelmed with their schedule.

They’re practicing driving but now have to go through the driver education course this winter due to new laws.

I love how they change their hair and makeup so frequently and have such a fun thrifted unique fashion style.

The last six months were very stressful and I feel I missed out on so much.

We love going to museums and arts festivals. We had some fun day and weekend trips and a great Offspring concert. We had a family beach trip this summer.

I love that I got to provide a nontraditional education to my nontraditional kid.

They won a COLA Dean’s scholarship and is active on the Dean’s advisory board. They should graduate debt-free and probably with extra funds for grad school.

They’re studying classics and art and writing at university and have impressive goals for their future. They’re secretary of the Classics Club and also like attending events with the metaphysical club. They applied for a reception job at their college. They tutor their classmates and are an unofficial TA in Latin.

They’re still living at home and commuting to classes with their sister (and little brother in CCP!) which makes things cheaper and more comfortable and easier on them in many ways – better meals at home and sleeping in their own bed and having their safe space.

They have lots of goals and plans to travel and learn abroad.

High school graduation time is a lovely transition into adulthood.

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The Positive Effect of Independent Living Communities on Senior Well-Being and Independence

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Key Takeaways

  • Independent living communities greatly support seniors’ physical, mental, and social well-being by creating a nurturing and engaging environment tailored to their evolving needs.
  • Residents benefit from maintenance-free living, wellness programs, and lifelong learning opportunities that extend beyond basic care, promoting growth, resilience, and connection throughout their later years.
  • These communities foster a sense of security and lasting independence for older adults, ensuring peace of mind for both residents and their families while encouraging continued personal autonomy.

Introduction

As the population ages and more seniors seek autonomy combined with support, independent living communities are proving critical in promoting senior well-being and an empowered lifestyle. These vibrant living environments are meticulously designed with the needs and preferences of older adults in mind, blending the comforts of a private residence with convenient access to a wide array of vital services—including health, social, and recreational amenities. The goal is to provide residents with the comforts of home while removing obstacles that may arise with age, promoting both independence and collective well-being.

A shining example, Spring Creek Chalet Senior Housing, demonstrates how embracing independence within a supportive environment can enhance the quality of life for retirees. By combining thoughtfully designed living spaces, a full schedule of social opportunities, and easy access to everyday conveniences, such communities are in many ways redefining what aging looks like. They encourage seniors to remain as active, connected, and independent as possible, while alleviating concerns about isolation, home maintenance, or a lack of support.

Enhanced Physical Health

Regular physical activity becomes increasingly important in later life, as it can help prevent chronic conditions such as heart disease, diabetes, and arthritis. Independent living communities often boast onsite fitness centers, well-lit walking paths, swimming areas, and group fitness classes—such as yoga, chair aerobics, or tai chi—that inspire residents to stay active and mobile. With a variety of fitness options tailored to different interests and physical levels, these communities empower seniors to incorporate movement into their daily lives.

Research published by the National Institute on Aging highlights that seniors who engage in moderate exercise benefit from improved balance, enhanced strength, and longer life expectancy. Besides formal exercise options, these communities encourage regular movement through well-planned communal layouts, inviting outdoor areas, and easy-to-navigate facilities, which motivate residents to get outside, enjoy fresh air, and socialize while staying active. Over time, these opportunities help foster habits that support long-term physical well-being and vitality.

Improved Mental Well-Being

Social isolation among older adults remains a significant health risk, contributing to feelings of loneliness and depression. Independent living communities are uniquely equipped to address this pervasive issue, offering communal dining experiences, hobby groups based on resident interests (such as gardening, crafts, or music), and a robust calendar of scheduled events and social gatherings. These intentionally designed opportunities for gathering bring residents together, helping to strengthen interpersonal connections, nurture meaningful friendships, and create a genuine sense of community. For many seniors, having ready access to social outlets means feeling supported, valued, and emotionally fulfilled on a daily basis.

Studies reported by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reinforce that older adults who remain socially engaged are at a lower risk for cognitive decline and mental health challenges. Residents in independent living communities are empowered to participate at their own pace, whether by joining a book club, attending an educational workshop, or simply enjoying a game night with new friends. All of these activities contribute to a better mood, an improved outlook, and greater life satisfaction.

Maintenance-Free Living

A key appeal of independent living communities is the newfound freedom from household upkeep. Seniors no longer contend with demanding chores such as mowing lawns, tending gardens, shoveling snow, or performing complex home repairs. Instead, professional maintenance staff are always on hand to ensure that residences, shared spaces, and outdoor areas remain in excellent condition, freeing up residents to devote more time to their passions, hobbies, or simply relaxing.

This transition to a maintenance-free lifestyle drastically reduces daily stressors and offers peace of mind, which in turn supports both mental and physical health. Not having to worry about home maintenance allows seniors to be more spontaneous, travel more easily, or participate in onsite social and educational events without being tied down by household obligations. It also reassures families that their loved ones are living in a well-cared-for, supportive environment.

Access to Health and Wellness Programs

Comprehensive wellness programs tailored to older adults are a cornerstone of thriving independent living communities. From a variety of onsite exercise classes and preventative health screenings to personalized nutritional counseling and support for managing chronic conditions, these resources promote a holistic approach to wellness. By offering a range of services, including medication management seminars and healthy cooking demonstrations, communities empower residents to take charge of their own health.

Regular participation in such programming empowers seniors to take an active role in their health, potentially reducing hospitalizations, controlling the progression of chronic illnesses, and enhancing overall resilience. The presence of qualified wellness staff and access to educational resources also increases residents’ confidence in their ability to maintain their well-being independently.

Safety and Security

Security is a central consideration for seniors and their loved ones. Independent living communities are designed with modern safety features that promote resident well-being without infringing on personal freedom. These features often include secured entry points to prevent unauthorized access, video surveillance throughout common areas, emergency call systems in every apartment, and a round-the-clock staff presence to handle urgent needs. Some communities also offer wellness checks and staff-led safety training sessions to reassure residents and their families further.

This highly supportive environment enables residents to go about their daily lives with greater peace of mind, knowing help is just moments away if ever needed. For seniors who may have lived alone and worried about falls or medical emergencies, the presence of an attentive, professional team within arm’s reach can be genuinely life-changing.

Opportunities for Lifelong Learning

Cognitive stimulation is crucial for healthy aging, and independent living communities recognize this by offering a robust calendar of lifelong learning opportunities. Technology classes designed specifically for seniors, as well as creative offerings such as painting or pottery workshops, book clubs, writing groups, and regular guest lecture series, all help keep residents intellectually engaged and inspired. These activities encourage curiosity, personal development, and social connection by bringing together like-minded individuals with shared interests.

According to the American Psychological Association, lifelong learning supports cognitive health, delays age-related cognitive decline, and enhances life satisfaction among seniors. The pursuit of new knowledge or skills, even later in life, fosters a sense of accomplishment and purpose, helping residents look forward to each new day with excitement and anticipation.

Conclusion

Independent living communities provide more than just a convenient retirement—they empower seniors to maintain their independence, support overall well-being, and encourage meaningful social connections. For those exploring their next chapter, these communities represent a valuable opportunity to embrace a lifestyle that promotes happiness, vitality, and self-sufficiency. By choosing a supportive setting, older adults can enjoy aging with fulfillment, respect, and a renewed sense of purpose.

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Our Curriculum for 2025-2026

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Check out my Instagram to see what we were up to this summer. We went to several fun concerts! I took several trips for baseball tournaments and we had a lovely family summer beach trip to Alabama.

We often celebrate the end of summer and beginning autumn and a new school year with not back to school activities.

This summer seemed to fly by. Honestly the last six months were very busy with my traveling to Atlanta so often to care for my parents.

I highly recommend the books by Louise Bates Ames. A good guide to follow are the What Your ?-Grader Needs to Know by E.D. Hirsch, Jr. His books have some problems, but it’s a great jumping off point.

See how we do history. Our main curriculum Tapestry of Grace (and the way I supplement it each year) covers all the humanities – history, literature, art, music, philosophy, government.

My middle two are both officially attending university full time. One is double majoring with biology and environmental sciences and the other majoring in classics. They both took college algebra over the summer instead of the placement exam for maths. Tori is on the uni noncompeting gymnastics team, and she still does aerial weekly. She works in the entomology lab. Tori is taking Spanish, entomology, calculus, and an education course that satisfies social science element. Akantha is in the classics club. Akantha is taking French and Latin, chemistry, and art.

My son is fifteen and starting university with Ohio CCP. He’s taking Spanish and Earth Science at a local state uni. He will continue with our homeschool humanities program while working through maths and physics with his dad. He plays elite travel baseball and high school baseball with our local district. We have to submit transcripts to the school so he knows he has to keep up with his work which is great accountability.

We encourage our kids to live at home as long as they need for support and saving funds. I still do laundry and cook meals and pack lunches and drive two of them to classes and activities.

We are fortunate to be able to provide an environment my kids feel safe and comfortable as they transition into functioning adults.

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Caring for Aging Parents

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As an only child, I am in a unique position to care for my aging parents. While I do get to make all the decisions without having to consult or argue with siblings or other relatives, it’s so stressful and time-consuming having to do it all alone.

Having grown up with low effort parents and no real relationship since I became an independent adult, it’s hard to reconcile how much my parents rely on me now. I feel guilty taking time away from my own family to deal with my ungrateful and noncompliant parents. It’s complicated and hard to explain to outsiders who can’t imagine ever being in this scenario. I will never let my parents go without and I will always provide the highest care and satisfy every whim I can, even though they never did the same for me or my children. It’s also hard living in Ohio and having them live in Georgia.

They say it takes three incidents for aging adults to realize they need assistance. I guess my parents were in absolute denial. I should have intervened sooner, but I’m not sure how else I could’ve forced the issue. It was bad enough when it came to the crisis point in December 2024.

Some history and timeline:

The last time we saw my parents was when they visited the kids and me for Christmas, when my husband was deployed in 2018. I think my father was already experiencing some memory decline then. The visit was a shock and surprise and the only real memory my kids have.

In August 2020, I was informed I should not come down to assist my parents when my mother fell in teh back yard and broke her sternum.

In September 2020, my mother tripped over the vacuum cord and bruised her face and eye really, really badly.

In December 2022, and ongoing, my father had shoulder issues and my mother had spinal issues. At some point, my father had shoulder surgery.

In January 2023, when I posed some difficult questions and concerns, my father informed me they would never leave their tri-level house.

In March 2023, my father fell in the bathroom.

In April 2023, my mother fell in her bedroom.

In June 2023, I was told no when I asked could I come help when my mother had spinal surgery.

Over the years, I asked about a will and POA and legal paperwork because I couldn’t remember if or what they had completed years ago. They ignored me.

I had asked if they planned to downsize or even move into someplace smaller and more accessible. They refused to discuss anything.

I don’t think my parents had any quality of life for at least five years and it’s been very frustrating trying to get information.

I expected a whole mess when and if there were ever an emergency with one or both of my parents.

Then, I got the call in December 2024.

When I arrived to deal with my mother’s stroke, I was surprised by so many things.

So much medicine, lots of it expired. There was an entire room in their basement filled with empty cardboard boxes. They had huge black trash bags filled with grocery store bags. They had a pantry full of expired, rancid, stale food and leftovers in the fridge that were months old. There were so many brand new clothing items, often multiples of the same item, still with tags, in all different sizes, from different years and seasons. My mother easily had twenty pairs of the exact same pair of shoes.

All day long, they sat in their recliners with the music channel on their TV, had toast for a late breakfast, ate canned soup for a late lunch, sometimes TV dinners or nothing. My father got the mail every day and took out the trash can to the curb each week. They had grocery delivery from Walmart. They went to Walgreen’s to pick up pills every week. They went to doctors frequently. They hoarded their material goods and money in the bank.

It would be easy to care for aging parents if they would allow me to help and if they would communicate and work with me, in the knowledge that I want the best for them.

Every family is different and people age at different rates based on their lifestyle, diet, exercise, habits, interests, activities.

My husband is turning 50 this year and we have learned so much about how we need to get our lives in order to make things easier for our kids as we age or in case of an emergency.

Estate planning is not just for rich people. I don’t want to leave anything to chance or the state or have my kids deal with months of probate court. I want to make all my decisions and preferences known. I want my kids not to have to worry or make any difficult decisions.

Caring for Aging Parents

Every state is different in how they handle estates upon incapacity or death. Some states have filial laws.

Legal

It’s super important to make sure legal paperwork is in order as parents age. It’s difficult for some people to discuss end of life decisions. This shouldn’t wait. The sooner it’s handled, the better and there are fewer questions if there is an emergency or incapacity.

I am so grateful that my parents paid an estate lawyer twenty years ago to put myself and my husband as financial and property POA, and also created a living trust, living will, non-resuscitation instructions, filed their property will to avoid probate. It’s made everything so much easier.

We very quickly sold both their cars and put their house on the market. Thankfully the house sold within two months.

Financial

In addition to estate planning paperwork, it’s super important to have all financial accounts accessible.

Years ago, my parents added me to their banking accounts in case of emergency so I would have access and control and to help with their estate and taxes.

The POA doesn’t grant access to bank accounts.

We provided two doctor letters showing incapacity to the bank and credit card companies since the POA paperwork shows my parents acting for each other and then myself and husband as contingency (which is good and normal). They are still living, but are incapacitated, residing in assisted living memory care and cannot make any decisions.

Update beneficiaries on all investments and get copies as proof.

Insurance

It’s important to revisit medical insurance accounts to make sure there is enough medical coverage as we age longer and our bodies break in so many new and exciting ways.

Thankfully, my parents have Tricare, Blue Cross, and Medicare, so they pay very little for their medical care – mostly just copays for prescriptions. It has been educational having to navigate all the claims and bills and statements since we only have Tricare as a military family and all our medical needs are taken care of on the base.

Some life insurance can be cashed out after like age 62 to help cover aging costs or payoff bills. But make sure there are no lapses in coverage or reduction in value.

Medicine

It’s important to keep all medicines in order and have records of current prescriptions and recommended over-the-counter drugs and also interaction concerns, like foods or drinks that should be avoided.

My father didn’t even really understand the meds he was on or why.

It’s important to have a partner or care giver, someone to know what meds we are on and why.

I don’t take any prescription drugs and my husband only takes a couple daily, so it’s not very complicated for us at this time.

Downsizing

I hope I realize when I begin to have difficulty walking up and down the stairs in our house and perhaps it will be time to downsize or go into a transition living situation.

We have so much stuff, a lifetime of twenty years, in addition to important items from my parents’ 83 years, my paternal grandparents’ items, and many items from my husband’s parents (who passed twenty years ago during our first year of marriage) and also his grandparents. It is a lot of stuff.

I’m constantly cleaning and organizing and purging and storing items securely to make it easier on everyone in the future. We reevaluate often: what do we love, what can we let go of, what can we store away? We do not have a storage unit. We have a 4 bedroom house with a finished basement and small cellar. There are so many things I can’t part with yet.

Communication

It’s important to have a plan – multiple plans – in case of emergency, in case of incapacity, in case of decline. Who is the emergency contact? Who is in charge to discern and communicate to family that it’s time to intervene for the safety of the elderly family member?

We have fire-proof safes with files and lots of instructions and information in case something happens.

My parents were in denial for years that they were aging and declining and refused to communicate with me about their future, that very obviously affects me and my family and now is almost all-consuming for ensuring they are safe and cared for. I didn’t even have a house key or know where anything was inside my parents’ house when I arrived six months ago. I had to wing it and make up every little thing along the way.

Assistance

I’m sure it’s hard to realize it’s time to ask for help.

My parents were not ready to give up their independence at age 82, with my father’s failing memory, and my mother’s frail body. They would have preferred to decline with no quality of life, while maintaining their control and independence. It would have been so much easier and better for everyone if they had admitted it was time to seek assistance, downsizing, moving into a facility.

I hope to have a much better relationship with my kids as they grow up and away, so they will surely understand when it’s time and I don’t have tantrums about it. There is an option for a legacy interview so we can record instructions for ourselves and children in the future.

The estate lawyer we met with has a health decision grid that leaves nothing to chance and I can tell my kids what I want and when and for this we are thankful. In a decade, I can add a specific dementia instruction in case that need arises.

Memory Care

I feel that our society doesn’t really have a system in place that helps families plan for aging adults with physical or cognitive or memory issues.

No one is ever prepared for memory loss nor for the paranoia and aggression that may accompany it.

During the month I was stuck in the house with my parents after my mother’s stroke, desperately begging for doctors, nurses, therapists, the VA helpline, police, or a social worker to help, I was told there was nothing anyone could do while I navigated it all alone, but I needed doctor signatures to admit them to assisted living. Their primary care refused to sign.

I am disappointed that none of the medical professionals took responsibility for my parents’ inability to care for themselves. They were in a dangerous situation and I was desperate. I’m angry that there are no helpful services in place to help adult children with aging parents who refuse care.

There are few instructional manuals or good information for caregivers or children having to navigate caring for parents with dementia. There was no option for me to leave my parents in their home, even with nursing care. Two assisted living homes refused their admission because they were not locked down enough to ensure safety for my parents.

I’ve spent the last six months in near daily communication with their care home, a hospice care team for my father when he refused to leave his bed, then traveling to Georgia to clean out their house twice, and deal with a hip replacement and rehab and therapy for my mother.

Then she fell and dislocated her new hip last week and now she is on bed rest. Thankfully, this qualified her also for the hospice care. They now have a great care team helping them with hygiene and daily needs.

They still seem to think their living circumstances are temporary and that they will get better and go home within the year. They seem to think they live in a hotel or rehab center.

Neighbors have visited and either do not understand the situation but riles my parents up, when they have wondered why there is no in-room TV or other conveniences and wish my parents still had possession of their cell phones. Even a nurse recently asked if I could get them a TV or a radio or books. I had provided them a CD radio from day one, but my parents asked me to remove it. There are two large TVs in the facility. My parents were frustrated navigating the remote control in their home, and there really is just no room for a TV in their room. They had no quality of life before but at least now they are safe.

My father is mostly sullen and silent and stays in bed except for a meal or two each day. I’m sad, but he didn’t do much else six months ago, for probably the last several years. He just sat in his recliner all day, every day.

My mother is either in denial or doesn’t understand that my father has more advanced dementia. She gets very frustrated with him. They share a room and he isn’t capable of helping her. When she fell these two times, he just stared at her – unwilling, unable, or too confused to know how to get help. They don’t like having people come into their room, but then she will complain she is not checked on enough. I had to buy a little nanny cam to keep up with what they do in their room.

The only thing my mother cares about is what I can buy her – shoes, shirts, apple juice. I use Walmart delivery and have had to buy them a little fridge for their drinks and snacks along with a plastic storage drawer for their pullups, wipes, and pads. She won’t speak to me on the phone nor has she ever asked any questions about their estate. She complains to anyone who will listen that I took away her perfume and cell phone.

In a fit of rage, my father tore up photos of my family. He didn’t want my help or interference in his life.

I’ve waited all my adult life to reconcile and have relationship with my parents. I mourn the loss of grandparents in my children’s lives.

It’s been very hard for me to realize my parents are low effort family. They never wanted a relationship with me or my children. And now, it’s officially too late.

It saddens me that we have and will hit milestones that they will never see.

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