In the Middle

What to do with that middle schooler…junior high girl…lost child… between childhood and adulthood?

Our society pushes these girls to grow up way too soon. We see the shocking scenes in the media that many in our society deem “normal.”

Young girls mimic this media and some are desensitized while others think it’s nothing to worry about.

And we still have the “boys will be boys” mentality in our western society.

There’s a double standard.

I say that it’s not normal and there’s no such thing as this Western adolescent mentality – other than the biological changes. And I’ve got an oil for that.

Why shouldn’t she still be that same sweet little girl who holds your hand while shopping and tells you her dreams before bed? Our society says that it’s acceptable and expected for tweens and teens to be belligerent and defiant. Why? It’s just another lie from the devil that divides families. And it’s starting younger and younger.

When I was a girl, we went from child to junior to adult clothing. There were no tween lines of clothing in stores encouraging girls to look older than they are. We should not have little girls wearing makeup and high heels and leather and making “come hither” looks at boys. It used to be just certain high-end clothing catalogs, but I’ve seen it recently in department store Sunday ad inserts. I’ve seen little girls in church wearing stripper clothes. It’s getting closer and closer to what everyone considers “normal.” My husband is disturbed by seeing girls when he can’t tell if they’re 12 or 25 in age. I wonder what high school and college boys think!

What will my son think?

What does Jesus think?

It’s about more than modesty.

Do we want our daughters to be sex symbols or admired for their minds, hearts, souls?

I often have to shop in the boys’ department for my daughters. They like to be comfortable and covered up. They don’t like the low waist super skinny jeans and short shorts. They don’t like leggings as pants. They like the wider longer cut of the Tshirts in the boys’ dept.

Even in the Christian world, we compromise values to fit in with the world. Society says to protect with vaccinations against STD’s and with contraceptive devices instead of discipling and educating in the Word. The devil and the world want us to think that’s it’s hopeless for anyone to wait until marriage to have sex.

And it’s not just about the act of sex. It’s about the intimacy, the tearing apart of a soul who is too young to understand what she’s doing to herself, what regrets she will have later.

God spoke to me recently through this song The Middle by Jimmy Eat World.

When I researched it, the video (while inappropriate for kids) is quite powerful about peer pressure.

So, what did God say to me?

I’m so glad you asked.

That gorgeous girl in the video with the cross necklace represents compromised Christians. These kids are lost. Their faith isn’t strong enough; their foundation is shaky; they are weak; they have no good Christian role models. They struggle with living in the world and can’t stand strong against the pressures to fit in.

…for Demas, because he loved this world, has deserted me… ~2 Timothy 4:10a

I knew girls like that when I was in school. I didn’t understand it, but I knew I wanted no part of it. Those “Sunday Christians” didn’t appeal to me, but I didn’t know why yet. They have that appearance of being Christian, but they go the way of the world.

For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? ~Matthew 16:26

God had His finger on me, but it was many years before I knew it.

Those two kids who almost compromise? They realize their potential mistake just in time and support one another. They have the victory.

I pray that our children can fight the temptations of this world and have the victory.

It begins at home with fervent prayer as parents.

I recently met a kindred spirit in an Air Force chaplain’s wife. Jean told me they have three wonderful children whom they successfully raised for the Lord. They just dropped off their youngest, a son, at his freshman dorm to begin college. They are officially empty nesters. Their daughters, aged 25 and 23, are still virgins and are engaged to be married (or so close they can taste it) to wonderful Christian young men. Praise God for that testimony as a mama!

It is possible! I pray that I have that kind of success raising my children to further the Kingdom of God.

Who do you want teaching your kids about sex?

Culture? School? Lady Gaga? Miley Cyrus? Their friends? Do you trust your church to teach them?

Or you as a parent?

I know which I choose.

Yes, it’s hard!

I choose to teach my children about relationships.

Is it time for THE TALK?

Having THE TALK.

We don’t teach PURITY.

I actively teach my young son to respect me, his sisters, and all other females. It’s not enough to wait until he’s a teen and has been influenced by so many others.

Resources for Discipling Daughters:

• Whatever Girls
• Daring Daughters
• Blog Series from Embracing Destiny
• MOD Squad blog
• 7 Things We Should Tell Our Daughters
• 10 Things Girls Should Study
• Beauty in the Heart Bible Study from Doorposts
• More To Be ministry and blog

“Clowns to the left of me,
Jokers to the right, here I am,
Stuck in the middle with you…”

Be strong.

These are some of my favorite books about parenting girls.

Linking up: Blogghetti, Life of Faith,Our Mini Family, Squishable Baby, Timeless Mama. Modest Mom, Our Holiday Journey, Darling Downs Diaries, My Little Shop of Treasures, Home Stories A to Z, Teaching What is Good, LouLou Girls, April Harris, Live Randomly Simple, Life on Oak Hill, Inspiration for Moms, Meghan Weyerbacher, Purposeful Faith, Create with Joy, God Sized Dreams, MaryAndering Creatively, Holley Gerth, Wise Woman, Jessi’s Design, Soaring with Him, Breakthrough Homeschooling, Jaime Wiebel, Sarah Frazer, Jennifer Dukes Lee, The Pram Shed, Our Three Peas, Gingersnap Crafts, Ducks in a Row, Sincerely Paula, Imparting Grace, Crystal Storms, Debbie Kitterman, Mommynificent, Be Thee Inspired, Penny’s Passion, Katherine’s Corner, Organized 31, Life Beyond the Kitchen, Creative K Kids, Brenda Bradford Dottinger, Bountiful Love, Home Crafts by Ali, Simply Sweet Home, Life with Lorelai, Cup of Tea,RCH Reviews, Momfessionals, Blended Blog, Create with Joy, Charm of Home, Lyli Dunbar, Crystal Waddell, Counting My Blessings, Arabah Joy, Easy Peasy Pleasy, The Answer is Chocolate, Being a Wordsmith, Coffee with Us3, The Quiet Homemaker, Chic on a Shoestring, Our Mini Family,