I am thrilled to review the newest book by Willard F. Harley, Jr. He Wins, She Wins: Learning the Art of Marital Negotiation is a great resource for every married couple.
When my husband saw the cover of this book, he joked: “Oh, that’s fiction!”
This book is a sequel to His Needs, Her Needs and the author refers to some advice he wrote in that book. (I’ve read that too. It’s wonderful.)
I love that this book isn’t just written to women. You know the ones likes that. This book can be read together as a married couple, or separately by men and women, at home or in a class. There are no complicated or embarrassing activities or homework for couples to complete to save their marriage. It’s an easy read.
It’s clear and laid out simply: everything has to be Win-Win for success.
No sacrifice or pay-backs. Couples need to come to happy agreement about everything.
Compromise is thrown out the window. Both husband and wife must be in cheerful agreement about all decisions for successful marriage.
That’s mind-blowing for me. And even more so that this comes from a Christian marriage counselor and not a secular one.
I love this idea.
My husband and I are slowly beginning to implement some changes and communicate better so we can come to agreement. It’s really difficult after years of compromise, sacrifice, and ideas of you-owe-me-one.
I like that this book isn’t a book on argument. It’s about negotiating. And negotiating is trying to make everyone happy. He mentions the politician’s idea of “keep them a little happy and a little mad” and how that’s not successful in marriage because we get resentful. He stresses communication and brainstorming until a solution is found where both husband and wife are happy. Win-Win.
And I notice now the interactions of my married friends and how they need this book.
It’s different than other marriage I’ve read lately and I like that.
From the publisher:
Every conflict in your marriage is an opportunity to fall more deeply in love.
He explains the art of marital negotiation, show you how to resolve common conflicts the right way, and help you overcome these common obstacles:
- emotional reactions are preventing calm discussion
- neither of you wants to talk about an issue
- one or both of you are indecisive
- one of you is happy with the status quo
- being enthusiastic about anything doesn’t seem possible
Then he walks you through the five most common sources of conflict in marriage:
- friends and family
- career and time management
Finally, he shows you how to overcome obstacles to resolving marital conflicts the right way.
About the author:
Dr. Willard F. Harley, Jr. is a nationally acclaimed clinical psychologist, a marriage counselor, and the bestselling author of numerous books, including His Needs, Her Needs; Five Steps to Romantic Love; Love Busters; and Draw…
Continue reading about Willard F. Harley Jr.
$19.99 hardcover or eBook
Available October 2013 at your favorite bookseller from Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group.